2003-04-28

I asked eddy today if he would meet me and he didnt reply that sms. I called him up and he sounded hesitant about meeting~! Turns out that he thinks we shouldnt meet up too often coz it will be too much like a couple. Haiz.. this is so saddening. He said "i have never thought further beyond our friendship". Thats a big big hint that he doesnt like me i guess.. I sent a long email to him telling him how i feel.. should i cut and paste it here?

Eh i shall. Not interested to read den skip it altogether! Here goes:

hello!

I've just finished talking to u on the phone... anyway, here are the pictures of the cute loris i have promised!

Perhaps it will give u some entertainment while u work on the analog designs, whahahha...

Somehow what u just said affected me. i dunno why i'm feeling this way, but i guess i would have to admit that no matter how i try to deny it, itz pretty apparent that i have certain "special" feelings towards you.. Maybe itz coz i just enjoy times with u too much! Maybe itz coz u are v fit! wahahaha.. but dun get me wrong. the "special" feeling is not love, or like, or infatuation; or at least i can always control it such that it wouldnt be. Dun freak out! i'm very happy with the way we are now, and i want it to always remain so.

But theres this dilemma here. If i find that i'm exceptionally happy with u, does it mean that our friendship is not purely platonic anymore? Or do we have to actually have tried (to be together), AND failed, to be pure friends, who never even thought of going further? Changing the scenerio such that you are a woman instead and i find that we really click very well, we can certainly just become good friends cant we? There's no further step to take.

The only difference is that in the 2nd situation, society does not think right of females being together in that sense, and I do not have any physical attraction towards a female. (These are just feelings on my part, not implying that u feel the same way too.)

Ah well, all these are confusing me. I've actually thought of all these stuff already. Thats why i dun msg u everyday, or ask to meet you everyday, the little things that might reek of what couples should do. I have not thought as far as we being together, cos firstly i do not think you would be with someone only 19 (yes officially 19 today), and secondly I would Never do anything that might spoil our friendship (something which is very rarely found nowadays).

So well juz take it such that i find u an expectionally good friend (Like a female friend), with a teeny weeny bit of physical attraction. The physical attraction part doesnt freak u out i hope. I lust after brad pitt as well and i'm sure every platonic friend of his does too, and brad doesnt look scared. (Maybe we can curb the lust one day *wink wink* muahahhaha)

And as i have said, we should just go by instincts and not be bothered about whether what we do is what society deems as what a couple should do, thus we restrict ourselves from meeting often, or contacting often. It is STUPID to let these dumb theories rule our lives. If u wanna call me, just do, i wun dig up any connotations except that u enjoy talking to me.

But what i'm sad about is, obviously u do not find me special as i do find you.

It doesnt matter, the world does not work on fairness! I'm happy that god (if he exists) did drop u to me while I'm on a bored MRT ride. He should too, since he made me so short.

OK enough already even Tolkien will find me long-winded! This is starting to look like an essay.

BTW go to www.dilbert.com and subscribe Dilbert comics for free everyday sent to u on ur email! that way u can laugh at urself!!! wahahhahahaha!!

Friends forever,
Trendy Wendy
(like famous amos!!!)


Okie thats it. I did it. He msged me back to ask me to meet him AFTER i clicked send, and now perhaps he will feel so awkward he wouldnt call me again! Did i blow this? DAMMIT.

(BTW for the dilbert joke, eddy is an engineer like dilbert.)

Horrible bdae.

Okie at least this year the weather is good and I dun have any pimples. =P I certainly hope i will enjoy going out with Ah dong, peiying, Ee Kean and Eileen later. It is so weird to have no guys! Ghimz and Sr are in ns. Thats sick.

*imagine them firing guns, bald*

Yikes.

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