2003-07-18

I'm feeling much better now! The tonsil might have swelled until it became so big it dropped off, so now my stomach is possibly digesting it. Thats good. Tonsils are useless anyway.

In case u dunno what a tonsil is, it is a cross between a tongue and a stepsil.

Yesterday I had work at New Park Hotel, and goodness knows why, that particular family had ALOT of kids. I hate kids at banquets. Ok I pretty much hate kids. Oh, I'm not that unkind. Who doesn't love babies? I love babies. They smell so nice (is it some water bag or vagina smell? Sometimes I wonder.) and I think they are absolutely cute.

But I hate the babies once they learn to talk. In my opinion, kids shld always keep quiet. Kids nowadays are too darn rude.

Thats why I only had ONE tuitioning experience:

Mum: This is Wendy jie jie, ur new tutor. Ok Wendy u teach him his spelling first, then help him with some Hw and make him do some assessments ok?

Me: Okie.

Smelly 9 yr old boy, when mum is gone: Hello Wendy!

Me: Oei, u are supposed to call me Wendy Jie Jie.

Smelly 9 yr old boy: I show u my pokemon toy?

Me: No, no, learn ur spelling!

Smelly 9 yr old boy: Why shld I listen to u? U are not my mother.

Me: *gasp* But ur mother ask u to learn what.

Smelly 9 yr old boy: But u also never learn, why must I learn it?

Me: Thats irrelevant! It is your spelling, so YOU shld learn it, not me!

Smelly 9 yr old boy: Hiyah. I show u my pokemon toy?

Actually the above didn't happen but my tolerance level is lower than that. I have heard much worse from my friends. Goodness knows why they subject themselves to such torture. Hey, personally I would rather pour tea and carry heavy platters and subject myself to tremendous ridiculous requests from guests.

Kids nowadays. Whenever they ask u "why" and challenge u that they will not do something when u ask them to, U SHOW THEM WHO IS BOSS. God made adults bigger sized than kids not so that kids will look cute, but because adults are meant to bully kids. Give the smelly kid (I'm talking about those above 6 yrs old) a whack on the head with a giant pikachu toy and he will know better than to challenge u in future.

*****
EG, tuition scenerio:

Smelly 9 yr old boy: Why shld I listen to u? U are not my mother.

Me: *Whack head with a giant Pikachu toy* Roars: BECAUSE I SAY SO! NOW DO IT!

Smelly 9 yr old boy: Oh, u beat me! I am going to tell my mummy! Boohoohoo!

Me: Shut up! U DESERVED THAT WHACKING! *Whacks one more time* U go tell lar, u think I scared ah. At most I lose this job. U think I wan to teach u meh? But now *steals a glance at cover of textbook*, I know ur class and school, and if u tell ur mum, I will TELL ALL UR CLASSMATES THAT U HAVE A PINK POWERPUFF GIRL STUFF TOY AT HOME! Muahahahhaha!

Smelly 9 yr old boy: *hugs the said stuff toy tighter and whimpers painfully* Okie okie I do my homework, Wendy jie jie.

Me: U are to say I am pretty RIGHT NOW!

Smelly 9 yr old boy: Wendy jie jie u are very pretty *whimpers more*.

Me: Not that I care about ur opinion of course.

Kids will behave better if everyone has an evil heart like mine.
*****

Anyway, yesterday when I was opening the door for the bride and groom to make their grand entrance, this male colleague of mine suddenly asked me: Hey, u have a website izzit?

I was damn freaked out.

Despite my very shocked face, he continued to ask: "Hey, that Indian guy really smoke on the MRT ah?"

Ah well. It doesn't seem like that much people have read the site before (statistics from the webcounter), since I have always assumed that my readers come back regularly. But of course, I forgot that there might have been alot of people only seeing it ONCE to see what the big deal is.

So yeah, since there are so many peole reading this, I shall do up an FAQ page. Will be done soon.

I recently got to know this love scandal happening at my work place. It is quite interesting so I shall say it, but names have been changed to protect the innocent and the guilty.

Keith (thats one of my favourite names coz I like names with TH in it.) is the banquet manager. Scrunchie (I have a fetish for scrunchies. I keep buying ang buying scrunchies so I have like 15 now. And I just decided that I like it as a name. Doesn't it look so cute?) is Keith's gf, and is one of the banquet waitresses. In fact, Keith and Scrunchie have been together for 8 months now, but Keith doesn't want anyone in the workplace to know, coz it will make things awkward for the rest of the Banquet staff.

So anyway, theres this other girl called Monica who likes Keith. Monica does not know that Keith is attached to Scrunchie, so she is like mad over him. On the other hand, Monica self-proclaimed that she is Scrunchie's very good friend, so she regularly calls to tell Scrunchie about how much she loves Keith.

Scrunchie is very unwilling to hear Monica bitch about how Keith was so nice to her today, how she thinks Keith might be in love with her etc, but yet, she is too curious to hear from Monica's point of view what Keith has been doing to Monica behind her back. And also, the author personally feels that Scrunchie is too nice a person to smack Monica and tell her to fuck off. Failing that, Scrunchie could say "So? Who cares?" to Monica like I have taught u guys to, but Scrunchie doesn't read my blog.

Keith does not know that Monica calls Scrunchie to tell her stuff. Poor Keith? No. He deserves it. Men. *rolls eyes*

Heres the climax of the story.

One fine day, Monica asked Keith to go clubbing with her. Keith told her he is not free as he was out drinking with other friends. So Monica got pissed drunk (I personally feel that she PRETENDED to be pissed drunk), and called Keith up.

Monica asked Keith to come to look for her as she is not feeling well. Keith, having just finished drinking with his friends, agreed.

OH FUCK IT! I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT MONICA IS ATTACHED! Okie keep that in mind now. She could have asked her bf to come fetch her, but no! She had to ask Keith. Slut. Oops, I forgot to be objective. I am on Scrunchie's side afterall.

Keith told Monica he will send her home in a cab, but Monica claimed that her mum will get angry with her if she goes home so pissed drunk. (Well thats her own business. If she knows her mum will get angry, DUN DRINK!) But despite the apparent flaw in that statement, Keith decided that sending her home is not an option.

Monica suggested to go to Keith's place (we all know her motive, dun we?). Keith's family knows Scrunchie and loved her, so Keith's family will personally slaughter him if he brings some drunk girl home. So Keith told her that is not an option as well.

I personally would have left Monica in the streets but Keith (men. *rolls eyes*) suggested booking a hotel room.

The next morning, Keith told Scrunchie that he and Monica stayed over at a hotel room togther and they did not do anything.

A few hours later came Monica's call to Scrunchie too, and Monica told Scrunchie that she and Keith did heavy patting and stopped short of sex coz Monica felt she was not ready. (what about her bf?!)

Poor Scrunchie. Naturally she confronted Keith and Keith admitted to his crimes and apologized profusely saying that he was pissed drunk as well. Convenient excuse. Get urself pissed drunk and u can rape little 5 yr old girls as well and escape scot free.

Can u believe Scrunchie actually forgived Keith? And also, Keith, till this day, did not tell Monica that he is attached, so Monica is still flirting with him outrageously during work hours, making Scrunchie a very upset person.

Goodness knows why Scrunchie is still with Keith. Scrunchie is entering uni soon, and Keith possibly cannot string a bundle of words into an English sentence. He is my banquet manager and a very nice person, but haiz... Compatibility is another thing. Of course, it is not up to me to judge whether Scrunchie shld be with Keith or not in the first place, but after this incident, there is NO WAY i would forgive Keith if I am Scrunchie.

Or would u, if u were her?

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