MRT irritants continued...
I wish I brought along a pair of scissors yesterday. Some uncle who sat next to me did precisely the shirt sleeve tickling thingy. I squirmed, I moved, and squeezed, yet nothing I did could escape this filthy sleeve (the rhyme is not intentional). If only I had a pair scissors! I would cut off the cretin's sleeve and save the rest of the world from his tickling!
No use dreaming about it now.
I used to have long curly hair right? And its all over the place... If I still have my curly hair, I would tickle his face with it! Let him have a taste of his own medicine. But no! My rebonded hair is so bloody flat.
The pair of scissors would have another use as well. The uncle STINKS. I could threaten him with it and he would move seats. Now, why do some people smell so much? Wait, I think I dun wanna know. The fellow sat beside me and my nostrils were filled with his horrible stench. WTF? This is not fair! I did not pay $1.35 or something to smell rotten eggs!
I suggest, that everyone should go through a smell test when they enter the MRT. If you stink, you would be asked to go into the smelly chamber to travel to your destination. In the smelly chamber would be tons of other smelly people, and if you stink and you can't smell yourself, perhaps you can smell others.
Imagine this scene...
Smelly Uncle: *beep* (EZlink sound)
-A very loud TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!-
MRT personnel rush out, clad in gas masks, ala SDU style.
Personnel 1: "Alert alert! Smelly bastard detected! Do not let him escape!!"
Personnel 2: "Roger roger! Target found and surrounded!"
Personnel 3: "Roger! I have got target. Assistance needed. Beware, stench is grade 5, almost lethal!"
Personnel 1: "Well done. Thank goodness for the gas masks. Can you imagine if this fellow sits beside the famous blogger Xiaxue? I dun want her to die? She seems to be a big fan of SMRT."
Smelly uncle: "Where you all siao kias taking me to? I just never bathe for 10 days only, the gas mask is a bit too kua zhang right??!"
Personnel 1: "Sir, you shall go straight to the smelly chamber, the end of the MRT. In there, you would see all the smelly bastards like yo.."
Smelly uncle, interrupting, "I AM NOT SMELLY!"
Personnel 1 slaps the Smelly Uncle with a heavily padded hand. Some debris caked on the uncle's face falls off. The uncle heaved a deep breath and the breath comes out in a light green misty colour.
Personnel 1, with delibrate patience: "You are FUCKING smelly. And DO NOT INTERRUPT ME!", he boomed.
Personnel 1 grins cheekily at Personnel 3, whom he thinks must be impressed with his authority and volume. Personnel 3 happens to have very nice breasts.
The Smelly Uncle whimpers.
Personnel 1: "As I was saying... You would be with the rest the smelly people. Sitting with you would also be all the bangala who are caught either 1: Holding hands with another bangala, or, 2, caught oogling at females. They could also be stinky of course."
The Smelly Uncle shudders. He thinks that the Bangalas might come hold his hand, but he forgot he stinks so that would not happen.
Personnel 1: "We have also caught some other offenders as well, although these people might not deserve so much to be in the Smelly Chamber. They are people who tickle others with skirts, or sleeves, or scratchy curly hair. We also catch people who play with ringtones on the MRT.
"These people are punished to put a 3310 to their ear and listen to the same ringtone on level 5 all the way till they reach their destination. This would teach them how it feels like to be an innocent traveller who has to tolerate this torment every time a similarly bo liao person does the ringtone testing.
"We also catch people who sing on the MRT. Are they stupid or stupid? They think that when they have earphones in their ears, they cant hear their own goddamn singing so others cannot hear them as well. What bullshit. We punish this people to listen to F4 songs all the way till they reach their destination too."
By now the Smelly Uncle has pee-ed in his pants, making, weirdly, no difference to the way he smells.
Yes. If I rule the world, the MRT system would really be good, no?
MRT irritants continued...
I just set up a friendster account for my INTERNET SELF. I actually quite like being shizophrenic (if I spelt it correct). It is Miss Xiaxue, so do add me as a friend if u read my blog?? Pretty please? My email add is firstname.lastname@example.org! You can access my page here!
Muahahhahahha! And I will pay everyone who writes me a good testimonial $0.015, which is what Starhub charges per second of usage!! Teehee...
Meanwhile, I think I shall blog tml, coz I just came back from a wedding dinner at One Fullerton Hotel! Quite a disappointment if you ask me... I got pictures too! Show you guys tml!
Add me ah!
Yesterday we went to Aaron's Drag competition in Zouk! It was great!
This is stupid, but I just feel like uploading this photo.
Anyway, apparenly it was butch and gay night, and nobody can be sure of anyone's sexuality yesterday night. 2 butches asked for June's number. WTF? They are shorter than her! So weird!
June is a butch magnet! (She is the one is the middle in case you are new to my blog. P/s: You could read character intro to get less confused. The tab is on the right, baby...)
I have a class chalet going on and I am late for it! Oh damn, I'm still gonna blog!
Yesterday I mentioned that discovering blogger is one of the best things that happened to me. To further prove that correct, my long-lost primary school best friend, Yee Yen, whom I had tried very hard to find, saw my blog and gave me an email!! Yaay! I am very happy! Hahaha...
-Hello Yee Yen!-
Anyway, I decided on one thing that Singapore should ban. It is infinitely worse than chewing gum.
It is bad advertisements.
The first of the bad ads list, would definitely be the KFC finger licking ad. IT IS TOO GROSS FOR WORDS. Who the FUCK would go lick their mother's fingers?? Finger-licking is a sexual act (due to the phallic shape of the finger) and will always remain that way.
Even if your mother is blind and you want her to get all reminiscent about the past when you still licked her fingers for her (goodness knows that else the mum asked him to do?), you don't go about licking her fingers in front of the other members of the family like that. There are many many things you could do to get her to remember who you are.
For example, say your name? Duh!
Incest is a no-no for our younger generation. I imagine some young girl would think licking fingers is a correct thing to do in case her uncle got blind one day... And then she licks the uncle's fingers... And the uncle gets aroused... And asks her to lick something else...
You may say I am pervertic. But what I have said is true! Its not that we don't know about pervertic uncles around.
The next ad they should get rid of is the freaking Chihuahua ad of Coca Cola.
The stupid advert is so meaningless, that I keep getting it mixed up with the also red ad of McDonald's "i'm lovin it", which is equally dumb but not THAT irritating.
Actually, the chihuahua ad is not that bad till the day before yesterday, when I had yet another traumatizing experience on the MRT.
I was taking the last train home, and it was fairly empty.
Just before I reached Jurong East, I was fully awakened from my groggy state but this bunch of stupid mudds. They were, as usual, conversing loudly, but I somehow managed to drown them out in my sleep.
They begin to hum a techno tone, innocently enough. I thought to myself, "Thank god they have run out of stupid topics to say. At least the humming is softer."
Just as I was feeling quite pleased, they suddenly erupted into a thunderous "CHIHUAHUA!!!!!!!"
I almost had a heart attack. I wanted to ask them to SHUT THE FUCK UP, but I am afraid they would hit me with their guitars, fake Gucci bags, yo-yos and kick me with a tapered jeans leg.
Urgh. Thankfully, it was Jurong East already, and I alighted from the train feeling very glad.
I walked quickly, without looking back at them.
I think they were haivng great fun seeing me jump into the air in shock. This time, without the humming, they erupted into another "CHIHUAHUA!", this time very near my ear. No doubt, this is delibrate. I can almost imagine the cretins grinning to each other and counting with their fingers to scare me at the same time.
I almost had a seizure, but walked fast into the bus interchange anyway, without looking back at them again. I had to tolerate the Chihuahua song all the way till I reached my bus stop.
Now, this whole incident is Coca Cola's fault. Its not the Mudds' fault. They just have the brains of llamas and would suck in anything they see from TV. It is fucking Coca Cola's fault for releasing such a STUPID ad with absolutely no purpose except to irritate. Whats the brand message? That Coca Cola loves silly little dogs? That people should drink Coca Cola on the train and then have a mass orgy?
Without Coca Cola's recent ad, I would not have almost had a heart attack on the MRT.
There are other incidents on the trains which irritated me.
I absolutely hate people who do not shift places on the train. If you have an empty seat on your right and on your left, would you shift to either empty seat so that a pair of friends could sit together?
I would, because thats the polite thing to do. Why would I want to sit in between them to make sure they cannot speak to each other?
Being the shameless self I am, when such a thing happens, I would ask the person to shift seats, if they are not proactive enough.
Usually the person would move seats politely enough, but I remember there was this once, I asked this stupid auntie to move. She proceeded to give me a very reluctant and disgusted look and kept quiet.
WTF? Are people that stupid and rude? If she doesnt want to move coz she thinks that that particular seat has good fengshui, TELL ME. Don't keep quiet like an idiot.
June and I stared at each our thinking why is she behaving so weirdly.
She proceeded to the dumbest thing in history. She moved HALF A SEAT.
June and I stared at each other in puzzlement.
Soon we realised her rationale for doing that. She patted the other half of the seat.
SO. So she thought that the seat is too hot for her to sit on.
OMG. I cannot stand stupid chinese aunties who STILL believe, in this advanced era, that sitting on a warm seat would give you zits on your butt. Can you please tell me why such stupid people exist?? And why??? WHY must I always encounter them?? I did not murder! I did not rape! I do not deserve this! Why do stupid people keep bothering me??
I know how to deal with people who do not shift their seats already.
You and your friend would proceed to seat on either side of the inconsiderate twit and yak to each other as if he/she is a table and not a person. This would no doubt irritate him to death. If the person doesn't look like he kills for a living, you and your friend can even complain loudly about how you wish some people would be more considerate so that you guys can talk side by side instead of being blocked by some freaking person who plain refuses to move although it would not harm him in any way.
Yesterday yet another incident happened.
I was sitting down, feeling quite drowsy, and promptly fell asleep, with Jay Chou humming in my ears gently...
Suddenly, I got jolted awake by an acute tickling on my bare knees. I woke up feeling very irritated. Standing before me was this fat lady with a long loose skirt. The MRT is not that crowded, so I don't see any reason why she should stand so close to my legs, unless she is trying to stare down at my cleavage, which is impossible because
1) She has bigger boobs
2) I was wearing a turtleneck.
I tried to sleep again, but the tickling got worse, and you have to understand how freaking irritating that is? I tried to move my legs this way and that, but I cannot, try as I might, move away from her giant flowery skirt's claws.
I decided I do want to nap on, and that I did nothing to deserve this torture from her, so I woke up, took out my earphones, gave her a smile, and mentioned lightly to her that her SKIRT IS TICKLING MY KNEES.
She gave me a dazed look, not unlike the auntie's when I asked her to move seats.
She stared on at me, as if saying, "What are you talking about, stupid little girl? I don't have time to listen to your nonsense, so speak up!"
I repeated myself, this time loudly and clearly.
She actually smiled, and said, "Where?"
WHICH PART OF "YOUR SKIRT IS TICKLING MY KNEES" DID SHE NOT FUCKING UNDERSTAND??
What does she mean by "where?". SKIRT tickling KNEES! Did she not understand where her skirt is, or does she think that my knees are on my face?
URGH!! Another dumb person! This one is worse, she takes 3 years to understand a simple sentence.
After pointing to my knees to show her "where" I was referring to, she did not bulge. NOT A LITTLE BIT. I have not seen such a rude person! I decided there is nothing I can do about it, so I tried to sleep again, cursing her silently that she would lose all her eyebrows tomorrow.
To add to my fury, she "accidentally" hit me with her freaking plastic bag. The first time, I kept quiet.
The second time she did that, I did a very loud "TSK!" and gave her the most vindictive and monsterous look I can muster. I proceeded to stand up, in the pretence of adjusting my skirt.
This has two wonderful effects, the first being that she would have to move back when I stand up, and the second is that she would have false hope that she would have a seat to sit on.
She can DREAM ON. Even if I had to sit all the way to Boon Lay, I would not give up my seat to her.
For the rest of the journey, she did not tickle me anymore. I think I scared her. Haha!
-Half of the brain cells inside the average MRT belong to me-
Quite a long time ago, PY, EK and XF had a discussion about my blog.
I can't remember the full details, but I remember PY said something about me becoming very ya-ya about the high readership (I know its not very high actually but I'm not used to the sudden amount of strangers reading it). Suddenly, due to the amount of attention I am getting from my readers, the blog became a big part of my life.
Every other sentence would be about "my blog."
XF says that I no longer treasure her opinions like before. For example, if she says that a necklace is ugly, I would counter-claim that thats not true because my blog readers say it is nice.
PY said I have became very self-centred.
EK had an even more severe claim. She said that my blog would finally become my downfall.
Those are all friends who are very very important to me. I weighed it out for a moment, and almost stopped blogging totally. I thought, "if my blog affects my friendship with them, I would sacrifice the blog."
Ardent readers would know that i stopped blogging for a long period of time. At that point of time when I needed the most support from my readers to tell me that they want me to continue writing, there were a multitude of spammers. The freaking spammers kept insulting me, adding to my determination to stop this nonsense once and for all. Afterall, who needed extra hurt from silly people from the internet which I don't even know?
Yet I continued blogging, because I am a blabbermouth and when I do not have friends listening to me complain, I NEED AN OUTLET TO BITCH AT. Thats why, my first entry after a long rest, consisted of me complaining about Eddy, Adryan and Bernard all being attached at the same time.
As for my friends, I decided simply to not mention the sore topic of the blog in front of them again. Of course, I would learn to treasure their opinions more (its a bit too late, XF doesnt seem to talk to me alot nowadays), and be more people-centred. The blog is my internet persona, and nothing much to do with real life.
Yet, it does.
Because of the previous entry, I decided that starting a blog is one of the best things that happened to me.
My previous entries all had one common aim. To make people smile. Afterall, there is enough sorrow in the world, who wants to read about despair and death?
Yet when the divorce happened, I felt like talking to no one, and decided that I shall write it down in blogger.
Immediately, I received the 1st 3 comments. I felt much better already after blogging, and felt comforted when I read what my readers gave me as encouragements and feedback.
Besides many people sending me emails and leaving comments, blogger brought me closer to friends as well. Some of them read about what happened, and gave me a call immediately, like June and Peiying. Others sent me smses asking me to stay strong, which I will!
Thanks alot to everyone for the care and concern! I am really touched because you people are not my real-life friends, and are not obligated to do anything for me at all. And to my real life friends to told me that you guys would be there for me when I need you all, I knew you would be there, even without you telling! =)
Enough of the mushy stuff already! Haha... I'm back to my cheery mood and I wanna, as usual... complain.
Due to me putting my address on friendster, the blog has reached a scaringly high amount of readers I day. (I dont dare to count). This is not a good thing because:
1) I am not getting paid for the publicity. Ads, anyone?
2) I don't like being recognised everywhere I go.
3) I wrote lotsa bad stuff about real life people and they are discovering it one by one.
See, nowadays, every few days or so I get an email or IRC people coming to tell me that they saw me on the streets. One reader said he saw me on the MRT while I was on my way home. He claimed that I was doing nothing except looking at my clie all the time.
He thinks he knows, but he has no idea.
Its not as simple as looking at my clie. Had he been more curious and tried to see what could be so interesting in my clie, he would realise I am reading a porn novel. Skimming through a page would give you many words like "pulsating wet little cleft", "big pink nipples", "Spanked her pubic lips", "his cock was so hard he was about to explode soon", you get the drift.
There. I don't like having my real life secrets being shown to the internet world. In here, I remain a bitch who just keeps writing. You guys do not know that I look horrid without make-up, I am really short, I eat on the MRT as if I own it, I talk too loudly, I have a fat tummy, etc. In short, I have no sense of shame and my pictures are all edited.
You think you know, but you have no idea. (Thats my fav phrase nowadays)
And about point 3. I started out the blog by telling only 2 people about it. One, June, and two, Elf, who is an internet friend, because he has a blog and I wanted to know more about HTML and how to even start blogging. The point is, I started bad-mouthing people as if its nobody's business, because I thought the victims would never read it anyway.
And then I see the web counter hopping, and I think to myself, what a wonderful world! Oops! I mean, I think to myself, "Aww, so what if XX reads my blog coz XX is in friendster? XX would no bother to open the archives to read everything la!".
So I smugly relax at home not bothering to read up my pass entries to censor off relevant names I mentioned.
Boy am I wrong! Suddenly I get many "I wanna clarify something with you," calls and emails. I'm in deep shit! But heck it. What I wrote were my true feelings AT THAT POINT OF TIME. I might have been angry and frustrated, and now, what I wrote might not stand true anymore, so don't get offended if I wrote something bad about you! Oh fuck it. If you wanna be offended, go ahead. I don't care.
How insincere can I get. Aww but you must forgive me, I am a girl whose parents are getting a divorce! (Haha I think I can use this excuse to act all weak and vulnerable. Maybe I can use it as an excuse not to do projects! I'm kidding.)
I am really embarrassed that many people have read my archives. A coursemate told me she just read thru my archives, and while I speak to her, she lightly mentioned things that I wrote before. Eg I tell her I wanna buy chicken wings, she says, "Make sure there aren't any cockroaches in it!"
I would proceed to give a confused look. I have no idea what she is talking about! Turns out it is about some silly blog entry.
I decided already! As the author, I should be the one who knows all about my blog, and not others! So, I went to re-read my entries and got quite nauseated.
I don't know since when, but I suddenly decided that I shall stop using words like "dun", "wun", "frenz" etc. As I review my writing style of the past, I thought, "What a fucking ah lian."
To think I actually has my emotions written in this form: *Smilez*, *traumatized!*
What the! So gross! Yikes.
Lets abruptly jump into another topic.
I wanna get fairer. I believe that being fairer means I would look richer, and that would help me achieve the image that I want! A few weeks ago, I asked Shuyin whether me, or another girl in my course, is fairer. She said that faces are almost the same, but her arms are fairer than mine.
I looked at my arms accusingly, and saw the culprit.
I am fucking hairy. The hairs on my arm can grow up to 1 cm in length. It is also jet black and dense. Oh alright be disguested all you want, but I take pride that at least those hairs are not curly.
But no. I am not gonna have dark arms anymore. Since my arm hairs covered around 40% of my arms, I assume that if I removed them all I am gonna become 40% fairer? Great.
So I bought a Philips Epilator!
What the fuck is an epilator?
Welcome to the world of pain. I heard people mentioning that women always use torture tools for beauty. When I asked (usually the guys) what kinda torture tools they are talking about, they usually mention eye-lash curlers.
They think they know, but they have no idea.
Eyelash curlers do NOT HURT AT ALL. An epilator is a must-have for all the masochists out there. The technology is to pull out hairs but this spinning device which will clamp the hairs in it. And its not one hair at a time, mind you. Its as many hairs as the epilator's surface can take at one go.
I thought I have a high tolerance of pain, but I have no idea. This machine had me whimpering like Michelle Saram, and to think I actually paid $120 for it! Ah... Men had commented that I am mad to spend money like that.
My reply is that THEY will never know the pain of shaving armpit hair once every two days. Men can only shrug their shoulders. They are the ones complaining if, god forbid, women have armpit hairs.
Lets jump abruptly to my next topic. I am running late for playing LAN with Idris!
My friend has this colleague who has a mole in her ear.
No big deal, most people have moles on their ears. You think you know, but you have no idea! Her mole looks like this:
I have something against big moles. If you have a big mole, I don't mean to offend you, but you are disgusting and please get it removed? Especially if yours has hairs sticking out of it.
Whever I see her, I feel very tempted to go, "Moley moley moley!" ala Goldmember style. Very tempting, but very rude.
"Hi, nice to mole you!" *Slaps self* Ok enough already.
And I hope that said colleague doesn't EVER read my blog.
Anyway, my point is, the said colleague, lets call her Fizzycola (I'm trying to think of a word that is as far as possible from her name so that if she ever types "Stephanie" and "Mole" in a search engine she would never find my blog. Oh wait, did I just say her name??).
Fizzycola was talking to another colleague's daughter in the shop. My friend was present as well. The colleague's daughter is usually very friendly and talkative, but when Fizzycola was speaking to her, she gave this dazed look and did not look at Fizzycola when Fizzycola yakked on.
I feel quite bad coz Fizzycola is actually quite nice. But this is too funny to let go.
Anyway, the colleague saw what happened and thought her daughter was behaving very rudely. So, she told her daughter off.
"Ah girl, why just now Fizzycola jie jie talk to you you don't answer her? Very rude you know?!"
"I'm sorry mummy... She talking to me meh? I didn't know coz I thought she talking on the handphone. I was thinking why the earpiece don't have wire one..."
My friend almost had liver cancer trying to curb her laughing.
-I wanna say... Dear little girl, earpieces do not have hairs on them.-
I am really touched. Sincerely! And I'm feeling much much better now after a talk with mum. No worries at all! And as adviced, I spoke to my bro, and it ended up with him comforting me instead about my insecurities..... Haha.. I have a very sensible bro indeed.
I will blog tml as I have a project to hand in tml morning!
I love you guys. =)
My parents are getting a divorce.
Since like 7 years ago, daddy has got this woman outside. When my mum found out, things got pretty serious. Mum threatened divorce. I was then 12 years old, and to a primary six kid, such a thing happening to my family was unthinkable.
In fact, the only nightmare I deeply remember having, was one I had when I was around p3 or p4. It involved my parents getting divorced, and I got so traumatized, that I woke up and cried and cried. My mommy then reassured me that such a thing would not happen, she and daddy are still loving as before.
And then it happened in Pri 6. By then, I had my brother with me, so at least there was someone to go through the ordeal with me. Also, I was old enough to think that it is quite imposssible that both my parents don't want me and would dump me at an orphanage.
In the end, my parents patched things up. They got more loving than before, and it is pretty obvious that dad did made the effort to make up for his mistake.
Things went well for perhaps around 4 years or so, and then occasionally I would hear my mum saying how she cannot tolerate my dad's bo chup behaviour. It is true.
When I was a kid, he used to bring me and my mum out very often. We would go to parks, beaches, and stuff like that. When I grew older and my interests transformed from sandcastles to heels, he does not have anything to do with the family at all. Mind you, I still have a younger brother who is 10 currently, so he could still bring him out if he felt I am not longer interested in the activities he is interested in (such as cycling). But no... He doesn't..
He's still not a bad father. He is civil and sweet to us at most times, although sometimes when he is in a foul mood he blows his top and at worst, even slammed objects. But he does come home early almost everyday. It is just that now, he makes superficial conversations with me and my brother, and does not care about us anymore.
My mum's recently found anger was due to the ONE silly statement my dad made.
You see, my mum had this friend of hers. Auntie Jenny. Auntie Jenny's husband is called Vincent. Now Vincent is rich, and a bloody flirt. He has a rendevous with this KTV girl, and the KTV girl somehow decided that Auntie Jenny should know about Uncle Vincent's affair. One fine day, when Uncle Vincent met her at Pan Pacific Hotel for sex, Auntie Jenny caught him on the spot.
The silly man tried to deny it by saying he is just meeting a friend. Afterall, he had his clothes on! What BULLSHIT. He should be hung.
Auntie Jenny forgave him anyway, and is still with him currently.
Now my dad, thinking that Uncle Vincent possibly has the same views about extra-marital affairs as he does, went to tell Uncle Vincent that my mum is silly to think that all this years it has been just one Miss Tan (the fucking mistress' name). He laughed heartily and said that there is more than one.
Uncle Vincent told Auntie Jenny who told my mum.
My mum packed her things and left the house. She did not tell what Auntie Jenny told her to my dad. She said she had enough of my father's attitude, and she felt that she doesnt love him anymore (vice versa too), and that it has been her all along taking care of the family (yes, even financially), and my dad doesnt even give a flying fuck, so why should she let him stay here with us? She wanted to leave so as to teach my dad a lesson on how difficult it is to actually take care of the family. Either he leaves, or she leaves.
Now, it is not uncommon that my mum does this kinda thing. I thought at first, bitterly: "Why must she involve us in their stupid adult games? Why can't they settle it maturely like adults, and not threaten this and that?" I had lots of projects on, and I really do not have the strength and time for things like this.
I thought my dad would persuade her to come back, and nothing would happen. Afterall, whats this? More than 20 years of marriage!
But my dad did nothing of that sort. Instead, he moped around at house, looking thoroughly glum and not mentioning anything to my bro and I at all. He is not the sort who talks.
Meanwhile, I tried to avoid thinking about all these at all and remained cheerful (I can actually force myself to think nothing is happening). I am angry and disgusted with my dad, however. I am pretty sure he does have another fucking woman outside, coz a month ago, he asked me how to delete numbers away from the call list. He made an excuse saying that he needs to delete this number coz he bought something from a customer, and he doesnt want another customer to know about it.
I said, "Please lor, it is impossible your customer would go check your phone!" He replied something patronising, like "Better safe than sorry." What does he take me for? A FUCKING IDIOT? I hate people giving me patronising answers that fucking insult my intelligence. But I still taught him how to delete the numbers anyway. If it stops my mum from getting hurt, I'll do it.
So back to my bro and my attitude towards my dad. We were both just semi-cold towards him, coz we are angry that he drove mum off. I can't say that my bro loves my dad as much as I did, because by the time my bro was old enough to know things, my dad has began to bo chup the family.
This afternoon, my mum called up and said that she already settled the housing and the divorce. The house is gonna belong to her, and my dad has agreed to the divorce.
I don't wanna think about it. I don't wanna think how the family is gonna be like without my dad, I don't wanna think where he is going to stay (its his own fault for womanising, and not apologizing to mum even up till now), I don't wanna think how everything is gonna affect my brother, not having a father.
My dad came home at 6 pm today, which is earlier than the usual 8pm.
He was silent when I greeted him.
"Fine," I thought.
Later on, I heard loud vomiting in the toilet. I rushed to look, and saw that my dad is vomiting very severely. He was having having spasms and sounded quite incoherent when I asked him if he is ok.
My daddy is ill. And when he is not with us, no one will be there to care for him when he needs it anymore........
The image of my dad with his head over the toilet bowl just rendered me so helpless, and so upset. Suddenly, I dun give a shit about whether he betrayed my mum or not. I don't give a shit about whether he has been a good father all these years! He is still my dad, and I love him so much, and I don't wanna see him leave us!
I just can't stop crying now. I wanna tell him how much I love him, and that me and didi did not mean to be so hostile towards him... It doesnt mean we don't love him any more than our mum, its just that we are angry; angry with him for not caring enough about us.
He came out of the room just now, and I couldnt bring myself to give him a big embrace but instead meekly asked him whether he doesn't want me and my bro anymore.
He replied that he would come back to see us, silly girl. And with that he is back in his room.
It is so final. My family is falling apart, and I watched it do precisely that without doing anything to help at all. I am a failure of a daughter.
And I hope that filthy woman would just FUCKING DROP DEAD AND DIE. I hate her the most in the whole world. I hereby swear, that I would never, ever, go near a married man with a family, because I know the misery. Being a third party is one thing. All is fair in love and war, and if you win, you hurt one other person and thats it.
But if you break up a family, its an eternal crime, because for your own selfish happiness, you made many others so miserable. The wife cannot even, in her hurt, leave the husband because they have children, which they share... The children not only would not enjoy a normal childhood, they lose all respect for their parent as well. Its not worth it.
I hope Miss Tan goes to eternal hell. Why, why choose my dad of all people for her fucking horny cheebye? Pardon me, she deserves it.
-I need a shoulder to sob on-
Really haven't been blogging properly for a while now.. I used to update everyday, but now, I realised that I don't really have any things to bitch about. Thats coz I seldom go out nowdays, and the only places I go to are June's and Idris' house for projects. However, the projects are finally over now, and its a weird thing, coz I actually wish that they are still existent.
All the projects suddenly end off at the same time, and this while when I was so busy with them, I rejected job opportunities, rejected dates and stuff, so now I'm all alone and bored while the rest of the world is busy with exams. Thats super sickening.
Today I got home after a presentation which I screwed up for my group, feeling particularly grumpy, and then fell asleep till 6pm when I woke up feeling very much alone although my bro and maid are both at home.
Haiz... I managed to struggle till now, when I decided I shall blog, although I have absolutely no interesting topic to blog about at all. I know! I think I shall blog about Michelle Saram and how much I hate her.
Actually, I don't really hate her, but more of the typical roles she gets on TV. I am so fucking sick of the Don't-fall-in-love-with-me-although-I-am-so-pretty
-coz-I-have-got-cancer-and-I-am-gonna-die-soon roles she gets. She is like that in Meteor Garden II, and she is like that again in Baby Boom.
Lets see how a typical situation would be like for Michelle Dearest before she chooses her roles.
Director to Producer: "Hey, I think I need a slut for this show. She would be the third party, but I wanna make my viewers confused coz they all would love her as she looks damn innocent. She is a thorough slut actually, but males would never notice, and females would get very angry coz they know the truth. Hows that? Who should I get?"
Producer: "Hmmm... I think, Jolin Tsai? Or maybe..."
Saram, popping out from behind the pillar where she is hiding. "ME!!! Me me me me me!" *GIGGLES*
Director: "You want the role?"
Saram: "It depends. I'm a supposed to be an innocent slut? I can do that!" With this Saram opens her eyes very wide and blinks 3 times, and proceeds to take off her bra.
Director: "Oh thats not necessary my dear! But.. but.. Don't stop!"
Saram giggles and giggles madly (the female producer thinks she is siao) while pretending to put on the bra but accidentally reveals a nipple anyway.
Director: "Oh, I'm soooo getting you for this role.."
Saram, giggle again: "Hee! You think I can do that? But I have some personal criteria for this show... Its called baby Boom, isn't it?? Yippee, I get to shag Li Nan Xing!"
Director: "But Nan Xing is old and wrinkled my dear. Why not shag me?"
Saram: "Don't tease me, you little twit! *giggles* Let me ask you, do I get to die of cancer in the show?"
Director: "Thats too cliche...."
Saram: "No cancer, no michelle!" *pout*
Director: "Oh ok I will make u die of a rare heritary disease that would make you look ugly."
Saram: "As long as I die! So, do I get to run around in beaches?" *giggles*
Director: "You are supposed to be a career woman!"
Saram: "No running around in beaches no Michelle! And I wanna shout at the beach like thats gonna help anything at all! I wanna be dressed in white and I wanna write things on the beach... That would be sooo perfect for the image I wanna get!"
Director: "Write what on the beach?"
Saram: "I already thought of it! I would sit back to back with Li Nan Xing on the beach, with the sea wind blowing my soft hair around. I would proceed to write words on the sand with a twig. He would ask me what I am writing, and I would say that when I am young, i like to write my troubles down on sand, so that when the tide comes in and washes off my writings, I feel like my troubles are all washed away! The scene would end with me giving a big smile, suddenly standing up, and urging Li, a 40 yr old flabby man, to run after me on the beach."
Director: "Fuck! Men would so love this! You are a genius!"
Saram: *giggles* "Really? Heeheehee... I wanna shout at trains too."
Director: "For fuck?!"
Saram: "It is just ME to shout at stupid objects. It relieves stress, supposedly."
Director: "I supposed I could fit that scene in if you insist..."
Saram: "Could I have a personal star in the sky named after me too? I would like to call it 'Brave Kris'."
Director: "You did that in Meteor garden and it is a little too much, isn't it? Your name was Ye Sa (in Singapore if she were Cantonese she would be called Yip Sar), and you named a star after youself?"
Saram: "Oh alright. So when do I start?"
Yup. Thats how she gets her roles. I can do a very good job of imitating her! But I can't do it here of course.
I hate Michelle Saram, because I strongly because she is the one who started the trend of "shouting at huge bodies of water".
You see, I stay just beside Pandan Reservior. And I mean beside, just 200 metres away from my block.
Occasionally, I get a ear splitting scream from someone who is shouting into the reserviour. It is plain silly. It is stupid. It is moronic. How come people don't realise that by shouting, nothing gets solved? Their problems would still exist, plus they irritate the shit outta people who are so unfortunate to stay near the reserviour.
Some might argue that stress is relieved when shouting is done at a huge body of water. Now, it is not the fishes swimming inside which offended you. It is probably your boss or someone like that. So go shout at him, bet that would be hitting the problem at the right spot. DO NOT SHOUT AT SILLY RESERVIOURS, YOU LOOK AND SOUND STUPID. Imagine if the reserviour were to be alive, it would think you are crazy.
Bloody hell, its all Michelle Saram's fault. Thank goodness I do not live near a train station as well. Dumb people possibly thought they would like to shout at trains the same way Miss Saram does.
No wonder Jerry Yan is not interested in her.
Vote for me and Xiaofeng!!!
Must vote ok!! Meanwhile, I'm in friendster too! Add me to your friend list!! My email is email@example.com
The thumbnail pic is the one with me and eileen kissing!
My string of projects are ENDLESS. Ok enough excuses. Actually I am just not very motivated to blog nowadays, but here we go to the projects issue again. I have no motivation to blog because I have no life to blog about. And I have no life to blog about because I am doing projects DAILY. WTF.
But today! Today I have a life again. Thats because I did something drastic finally.
To those of you who liked my curls... I'm sorry but they are not longer existent. Thats because I went to rebond my hair. To add, I cut my bangs into a straight cleopatra-like style. (some people might be mumbling under their breaths that they do not care whether I rebonded my hair or not, but I would like to say that similarly, I do not care abt your opinion as this is my blog and I shall write what I want. So there.)
Pictures? Here you go.
I'm sorry that it is so blur, thats because I took the picture without flash and I had to jack up the brightness.
Anyway, the fringe was cut one day before I rebonded my hair. I came home, looked at my lifeless self in the mirror, and decided I need a change. So I took a pair of scissors, and sniped off my fringe. I think its some fetish that we all have, and I started to cut more and more.
I ended up looking like a stupid jap doll with the fringe and curls. I went to school, and everyone said I looked "sweeter", "more innocent", "cuter" etc. It infuriated me. "CUTE" IS NOT WHAT I WANT! Remember the image I wanna achieve?? I WANNA LOOK RICH, NOT SWEET!
So Jealous June suggested rebonding, and weirdly enough, was so enthusiatic about it that she even lent me a hundred bucks to do it, plus accompanied me to the salon where she sat about while I had my hair done. What a wonderful friend I have.
Thats not the point. The point is.... 50% of people say it is nicer, while the other 50 say they perfer curls. I have never seen such an equal stand before. Whatever it is, it is still a change. Afterall I had my curls for 1 year already, and I am sick of having to style it everyday. Rebonded is good and easy.
Halloween is coming up! Eileen brought me to this place called No 1 Costumes Costumes (It really has two "costumes" in its name), where we went to try on clothes to wear to Zouk on the 31st Oct. Here's what I tried. Naturally, Cleopatra.
Its 60 bucks for 3 days. I have no idea why I should pay that ridiculous amount, and I dun even need the stupid costume for 3 days. 60 bucks can buy me a 64mb memory stick, and I cannot think of why I shld give it to the costume shop for a piece of shiny thing that probably a million people have wore before.
I didn't rent it of course. Neither did Eileen.
But I'm still going to Zouk nonetheless, perhaps with some silly white tube to become a common angel.
I wanna bitch about something.
Yesterday I was on my way to city hall after school, feeling sore at my calfs, for I wore heels and had conquered Mount Dover (the silly slope at SP) on my way to the MRT. As usual, I squeezed to the middle and rooted myself standing in front of a particular seat, hoping that the person sitting would get down the next stop.
And he did exactly that!
However, I was busy playing with Bejeweled on my Clie, and was a little slow in sitting down. Just as I turned my ass to face the seat, this fellow managed to squeeze pass me and sat on my seat.
I WAS FURIOUS. Its extremely rude.
I looked to see who the culprit is, and I saw it is this SP guy. Now, he is different as he is deformed. Not in a handicapped way though, he is just very short. Like a dwarf.
My first reaction was, "Oh no, how could I even think of snatching the seat from him... He is handicapped...". And I started to feel pretty guilty.
The fellow had two other SP classmates (males) with him, and they started to happily chat. They talked about normal school stuff at first, and then they started to talk loudly about crude topics, like sex. And its not even normal sexual stuff. They were discussing how ANIMALS HAVE SEX. Several MCP remarks were made, although I cannot remember what is it they said. My point is, the "handicapped" fellow is not a nice guy at all.
I thought about it. If he can talk about sex as if he fucks camels everyday, I dun see any reason why I should let him have my seat. He seems healthy enough. He is just short. I am short too you know. Its is very disgusting for a GUY to snatch a seat from a lady. Just because he looks bloody handicapped at first sight doesnt mean that he shld be entitled to a seat more than I did. I paid the same amount as he did, plus I am in heels, and he? In comfortable Nikes. I SHOULD SIT COZ THEORTICALLY THE SEAT IS MINE.
I had half a mind to ask him to fuck off from my seat, but I decided against it as I thought that just because he looks handicapped and I look like a slut, people would scold me for scolding someone disabled. I still strongly believe that there is absolutely nothing wrong with his feet, but Singaporeans might be too dumb to think that way. (Why, if his feet hurt, use a wheelchair. Else our government would be spending money on building all those lifts for nothing.)
Just as I finally managed to curb my anger a little. That fucking guy happily announced to his friends that he can sit all the way to tampines. Which means I will not get my seat back. Gosh, I'm so angry.
My point is this: I dun see why we should give in to these "different" people. In the example of the dwarf guy... I get people saying and teasing that I am short all the time. But I believe he doesn't get that kinda jokes, just because it is mean to say that to him. But think about it, can I help being short as much as he does? No. Both of us were just born this way, so why should he get the kindness?
In another example, there was once this advertisement on the mrt, which was drawn by kids with leukemia (or whatever it is supposed to be spelt as), to urge people to donate funds for a society. One of the drawings consisted of a girl wearing a dress, and on her almost bald head was just four strands of hair. The drawing was very bad. Its just plain lines, obviously done by kids who did not put in much efforts anyway.
I took a look at the poster, and lightly mentioned to June that I think that the girl in the drawing is very hideous.
She nodded slightly, and then proceeded to read the text.
And she got really upset and shrieked, "You very bad leh!! She is not ugly la!! She has leukemia thats why she got no hair!! You very bad, how can you say that about her?!"
What? I dun get it. Just because she has leukemia means I cannot say she ugly meh? Then say other people ugly its ok? I dun get the link between blood cancer and aesthetics. You are ugly means you are. I dun see why these people should get spared from the usage treatment people get.
If you saw a celebrity whom you don't like, you start to criticize his looks, ie saying his mouth is too big, nose too flat etc. You deny that he looks good and says that silly teenage girls who go ga-ga over him are crazy.
But what if you saw this same person, not a celebrity, across the streets one day? And you realise he is BLIND. And what do you say about him? Dare you comment anything about his looks?
Weird isn't it? Why can't you comment about his looks? Why just focus on the disability?
On the same basis, you bitch about people being damn stupid to your friends. What if the person has been changed to a kid with down-syndrome? Do you still comment that he is stupid? What the difference here? Are both not born stupid? Can they both help it that they are being dumb?
I say we treat them exactly like normal individuals except to give them an advantage at the areas they are handicapped at. It may seem mean, but thats me. I am mean. Urgh. I am still angry at getting my seat stolen.
Another issue I thought about.
After reading Anne Rice's horny novels, this theory suddenly hit me.
There is no such thing as sexuality. Attraction, is simply about aesthetics.
In other words, people as not attracted to (,if their are straight), the opposite sex simply because it is the opposite sex. People are attracted to beautiful objects. As long as you look beautiful, women and men would be attracted to you alike.
I think its is quite true. Imagine this situation.
Guys: Would you rather have the most beautiful (i say beautiful as in pleasing to the eye, not gay beautiful) man do a blow for you, or would you rather it be the ugliest woman on earth?
Girls: Would you rather kiss Jennifer Love Hewitt or kiss a bangala?
The answer is obvious. Sexuality is all about aesthetics, not gender. Inside, all of us are homosexuals. We might refuse to admit it, because society says we are abnormal if we are attracted to the same gender. I don't know about the way men feel, but I know most females definitely get aroused from watching porn with just females inside.
I think I am really turning bi. Men attract me more though, especially if their name is Jeremy.
p/s: I am still too lazy to get my comments link back, so please do email me if you have any opinions you would like me to know? I would reply if I can. =)
Blogger is behaving like a spoilt kid again, my comments links are all gone, and i'm too busy too repair them. Maybe tml. After work at New Park Hotel. Gosh, I would be so tired, but I will blog coz I got lotsa stuff to write about.
Meanwhile, I would like to say that I bought my sony Clie already, and the best thing about it is that it can have acrobat reader in it, which means I can like read ebooks on my palm! I downloaded Anne Rice's The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty, an attempt of the famous vampire writer to write erotia.
AND ITS REALLY GOOD. Its sickeningly arousing. The story is a rather sick twist of the childhood tale "Sleeping beauty", and although the book started out as being totally sexual, you will realise that later on there are many other issues being discussed subtly (is that how to spell it?). Its wonderful what words can do that touch cannot. So please everyone, click on your kazaa link right now, and download the ebook, and have a tormented time reading it on your com for free. Except, make sure your mum ain't looking over your shoulder, or you wouldn't like the look on her face.
Meanwhile, I'm far too tired to blog. I will tml. =)
I love Jeremy.
I have just decided to blog again, because I realised that my group members did not disseminate much work for me. Tml. Tml I promise to contribute more to the project.
Anyway, today's topic is:
How to Look Like a Cute Jap Porn Star Without Plastic Surgery
What kinda girls do Singaporean guys like in bed?
We have some choices here.
1) Annabelle chong. Screaming her head off in a fake orgasm while hiding a yawn and drowning in sperm is no mean feat. We salute Annabelle Chong. The dirtier, the better.
2) Mo Jing Jing/ S.H.E. The more innocent, the more enticing. She screams and tears while guys tear off her pre-puberscent (spelling error here i think) half bra. Never mind the fact that she has never shaved her armpit hair or that her boobs are puny. Its ok. As long as she is a virgin, baby.
3) Pamela Anderson. The typical angmoh saboh with huge boobs and big hair. She screams the wrong name constantly and is too stupid to know that multiples are different from factors, but its ok; she is good in sex. Unfortunately most of these girls say they came at least 6 times. Thats a bit too much of a lie. What does she take the guy for, a showerhead?
4) Shimada Mamika. Who the hell is she, you ask. There. The typical jap cutie. Jap porn (not that I watched alot of them) usually has the girl tightly bound and being raped by a hairy old man with beer bellies. I believe that the screaming and look of terror is not faked. We wonder why male jap porn stars never look like Nakata or Aniki Jin (what about females watching the porn?!). The truth is out though. That hairy pot-bellied old man is the director. The female counterpart screams "E-yeah" (which i spelt wrong) which means "no", but she slowly starts to enjoy it (we see from the open mouth and closed eyes) but still screams 'no' anyway, just because.
Alright. The answer is out. Like James, most guys' fantasies revolve around the silly jap girls. We ladies detest their taste for such low class beings. Why don't men fantasize about shagging highly intelligent or successful (not as a model or something like that that doesn't require brains) girls? Because they want to feel SUPERIOR. They want to be the DOMINATOR, not the one succumbing. No. Thats why men like weak jap girls, perferably in rape.
Coming in second would be the shu nu type. Same as jap girls, except not so cute, but innocent all the same. Taiwan's Vivian Hsu would be a nice one.
So what do normal girls like us do? We fake. What you guys want, we can do it.
Now acting cute is disgusting. We girls hate girls who act cute. But men like it. Thats why they like Michelle Saram while we all hate her. (Come thurs, I would do a feature on her, and how to bowl guys over by acting shamelessly like Miss Saram.) So, the first step to take would be to curb the disgust. Remember, it is for the man you like. Also remember not to do this in front of a guy that you know well already. He would realise you are being phoney, but he would still shag you anyway, if thats ur motive.
2) Make up: Open your eyes BIG. Open it the biggest you can. Now, draw some eyeliner on it, and then curl your eyelashes. Hold the eyelasher curler there for 5 hours. Apply 1 full bottle of mascara on EACH EYE. Make sure that everybody thinks that you have the thickest and fullest eyelashes in the whole. Now curl the eyelashes for another 10 hours. Apply blusher and pink lip gloss. Yes, alot of preparation needs to be done.
3) Facial expression. This is easier. Raise your eyebrows high up. Force eyebags to come up below each eye so that you have that doe-eyed look that Michelle Saram gave to Zoe Tay when Zoe Tay slapped her yesterday. Tilt head downwards so that eyes appear bigger, and look submissive. Keep mouth downturned, and pout lower lip a little. You may smile, but do so weakly. Remember, you are a demure damsel in distress. You need PROTECTION from a REAL MAN. Be unhappy till you find him.
4) Clothes. Nothing revealing, nothing too vibrant. Just stick to whites and pastels. With Hello kitties somewhere.
5) Speech. Speak in a cute little voice with injections of "kawaii ne!" with every 3 sentences. Try to say the "e-yeah" word as well, because this would remind the guy of jap porn stars and he would be so allured. Also buy little jap thingys like Hello Kitty sweets or stuff like that.
6) Undergarments should be polka dots or little flowers, or even better, with prints of Hamtaro or Moshi Maro. I personally prefer MOJOJOJO! but it seems a little.. wrong.
I did a sample for you guys. Now girls, this is just A SAMPLE. Do not send emails to me saying how disgusting it is, coz believe me, I KNOW.
Here is the original jap look.
Here is the faked one, with photoediting done.
It is very difficult to achieve the look. June and Clara took around 7 or 8 pictures, and only 1 turned out with that "look". Tough.
Anyway, today I saw something in SP's Foodcourt 6 which made me lose all my appetite, so I thought I would make you guys suffer as well.
Yikes. Doesnt she feel cold around the crack? Gosh, she think what, show cleavage ah. Or-bi-good kanna take picture and shown to the world.
Ok nuff said tonight. Got work to do.
Nights everyone! =)
Tml is my deathday. I am so dead. Two projects, one by tml, and one by thurs.
Meanwhile, I did not go for an exam, and I need an mc for the retest, and I did not see an doctor. So, I decided to liquid away the dates of a former mc, and photostat it with correct dates, but i dun think the school would accept that. If they suspect something, they might call up jurong polyclinic, and I WILL HAVE MY ASS SUED OFF.
My brother is having his streaming exam (maths) tml, and he does not even know the difference between multiples and factors.
I am so SCREWED.
Plus I dun even have a bf I can complain to. Suddenly there ain't any guys in my life. I may as well be staying in venus. I hate everything. Bleah!
No blogging tonight. Except for this miserable paragraph.
Every so often you hear people whining about how they feel have having a total change of image. Or maybe not people in general, maybe just June. I assume everyone would have a friend who is like June.
June went through drastic changes in her poly years, from Ah lianish, to glamourous (with permed long hair, make-up and flamboyant clothes), to act jap (Big tees and sneakers with short cropped orange hair), and now, since her eyes are beginning to reject the contact lenses (just like Jeremy rejects me, tears result), she is keeping the "I-may-look-nerd-but-I-am-superior-because-I-am-smarter" look with the specs she has on.
As for me, I have been floating around bimbo and more bimbo, because:
1) I like shiny things. Diamantes. Silver. Gold. Diamonds. Gimme more.
2) I like pink (alot. I cant help it, dun blame me.)
3) I like ribbons and stupid lacy stuff
4) I have to wear heels because I am so bloody short.
5) I have a stupid perky butt.
Finally, I have decided on the image to have. In fact, I have decided for some time already.
I shall look rich.
From now on, when I try on clothes, I wouldn't bother to ask, "Do I look nice in this?". Instead, I ask, "Do I look like a million bucks?". When I do my hair and the stylist asks if I want punk, or normal, or pretty, I say, "I wanna look like I paid you 300 dollars to do my hair."
I want people to ask my friends, "Hey your that short friend very rich issit?". I want people saying that I am of a higher breed (not that I am not!), and the norm.
Difficult to achieve, but I will try.
Let we explain the different types of rich looks one can have.
1) Typical Taitai
The typical taitai look everyone knows. A silly withered old lady with tons of make-up and many diamonds and a poodle who is clad in LV (Why, LV is only good enough for her dog, my dears.)
Forget the typical taitai look. I am too young for that.
2) The ACJC kid.
I ripped this pic off my friend's class website. Anyway, the girl looks ok-rich, but the guy. Ha! He looks like his daddy owns 5 fish farms or something weird like that that you can monopolise. I hope they don't ever see my page.
Anyway, the typically JC-my-daddy-is-fucking-loaded teenager would be a christian (with a tiny silver chain with a cross to tell everyone.) walking around loudly with a bunch of friends from school, hanging out in macdonalds with textbooks, has orange socks/bags, has a mountain climbing thingy that is uselessly hanging on their orange bags (sometimes it could be hanging a baby sports shoe), and weirdly all seem to own 7250s with Singtel lines. They would also have braces and would never let their socks exceed 5mm, and they dun shave their leg hairs, and they all have this tanned sporty look coz they swim everyday in their own swimming pool, coz if they don't the stupid water gets wasted, never mind the fact that africans dun have water to drink.
Forget the ACJC kid look too. I dun own anything orange, I dun even know what the metal mountain climbing thing is called, my friends are outta JC already, I do not own sucky nokia phones with only 4096 colour. And I shave.
3) The Slut
The slut would typically be in big hair and big clothes, lotsa make-up, curls and the norm, you can imagine. She looks rich alright, with her multitude of diamonds and little LV bag, and perhaps a little poodles as well. In other words, she is the younger version of the taitai. The porsche she is driving? Belongs to her boyfriend, who possibly has a few kids who are in ACJC.
I know what you people are thinking.
I don't wanna look like a kept woman (which I think I do)!!
But neither can I achieve the family-rich look. How? I would thus try my best to look like I got rich on my own, by doing it the amataur way, drowning myself in expensive stuff. The conclusion on how I got rich would be up to people to judge.
To further complete the image, I bought a Gucci cap today.
Here it is:
I know thats not a Gucci cap. Thats a corrupted doll. It is rich from bribes. It smokes marlboro at a young age, and it uses an 8910 to talk business. You may say that the 8910 looks too big for it, but Paw (his name) doesn't give a big f*** about what u say, bro! It rocks!
Ok I digressed.
Here it is:
Nice? Its authentic, from a shop near City Hall, and it is only $60 coz its imported direct from Milan. I LIKE.
And it matches my Gucci bag!
I also bought diamond gold earrings. Fake la of course.
Speaking of fake branded stuff, I am reminded of something that my friend commented on yesterday. I was just showing her my latest fake acquisition....
A Mont Blanc pen I bought for 10 bucks from the Pasar Malam at Jurong East. I did my homework and went to Mont Blanc's boutique to see which model is really existent before I made my choice at the pasar malam. It is 100% alike, and the original costs $700 plus.
I am personally very happy with my purchase. But instead of the usual "Wow, nice pen ah" comment I get, she gave me a disgusted look and claimed that she would rather get something without brand than something which is fake.
I know alot of people think that way, but I beg to differ, with two very good reasons.
1) My replicas are still more expensive that your no-brand stuff. Yes, my LV is fake, but its not cheapo. There is nothing embarrassing about the price. Its a hefty $150 bucks. Are any of your no-brand bags that price?
2) My replicas may not be authentically sewn by people in Paris, but at least they are designed by world famous designers. And they are nice. I pay a fraction of the price because I pay for the design, and not the materials, workmanship, or branding.
Yup. But the stupid image has one scary point, besides looking too stuck-up. I might get robbed, with good reasons too. Heres what you would get on an average day:
Its a gift from daddy. Daddy is not rich, but daddy is an antique seller. He bought the watch 10 years or so ago, and he wants to keep it till it is mouldy so that he can sell it as an exquisite antique which is not in production anymore. Meanwhile while the watch matures, I get to wear it. Wonderful.
Cost price: $2000. Resale value: $1100.
I would be getting my clie on Tuesday! I bought it at $450 on yahoo auctions, but its selling at $599 at stores. Wonderful again. Now more blogging for you people coz it is easier to type with the keyboard. Am I nice, or what?
Cost price: $450. Resale value: $450.
Present from mum. Dad gave it to her. I like it!
Cost price: $400. Resale value: $300.
A Samsung T500.
Cost price: $468. Resale value: $580.
A nokia 8910.
Cost price: $430. Resale value: $450. I bought it cheap.
6) Sony Cybershot U20, in Rose, pic above in the scrolling marquee.
Cost price: $420. Resale value: $380.
6) Nomad Mp3 player, 128mb.
Embarrassing to put picture coz its full of scratches. Its pink.
Cost price: $150. Resale value: $70
Levis 593, although I think robbers wun be so cruel as to rob me of clothes.
Cost price: $99.50. Resale value: $60
Miscellaneous fake branded stuff the robber can also get. It is even better for him, because when people ask him whether the thing is authentic, he can answer that he doesn't know, he thinks it is real, because he robbed someone of it and on the same robbee he managed to get a rolex.
LV cherry blossom limited edition pink papillon bag.
Cost price: $150. Looks like: $1,699 if it is held by Zoe Tay, $150 if it is held by me (I'm honest about buying fakes), $0 if it was held by ah lians/minahs. It is not that they reduce the value to zero. It is just that they stole it.
Prada hp pouch.
Cost price: $10. Looks like: $289 if an 8910 is inside, $8.50 if a 3310 is inside.
10) Gucci bag, pic as shown above.
Cost price: $37, freaking cheap. Looks like: $1,299 if an Mont Blanc pen is clipped in it, $49.90 if slung on a bangala. Don't laugh. I saw an old uncle wear a cheong Gucci hat. And I mean old, like 70 years old. The worst thing is, the hat is NICE. June and I wanted to ask him where he got it, but we were afraid he would hit us with his walking stick.
11) Mont Blanc Pen, pic as shown above
Cost price: $10. Looks like: $729 if I used it while sipping champagne in the yacht, $15 if I used it to draw graffiti in school (look, at least i earned $5 for its face value).
Calculate yourself if u want I guess... But nobody would do it coz everyone thinks I am a stupid rich stuck-up bitch. Awww.. Its just a silly image.
Yikes. I shall go sleep now. What a ridiculously long blog entry.
I'm sorry peeps, I'm really busy recently, just handed in two major projects yesterday, and theres more to come up on weds and thurs. If I get thru this alive, I will (it is confirmed) continue blogging.
Meanwhile, I would like to say that I am sorry for leaving that previous post hanging there... Actually what happened was just a misunderstanding, I would explain after thurs k?
And thank you, for all those of you who click on my page daily despite the scary picture. Love ya all!
This is a song for you guys:
This is the song that doesnt end! Yes it goes on and on my friend! Some people started singing without knowing what it was, and they continue singing just because this is the song that doesnt end! Yes it goes on and on my friend! Some people started singing without knowing what it was, and they continue singing just because this is the song that doesnt end! Bleah.