2003-11-28

By the way I worked for Tiger Beer today and my 8910 got fucking stolen. I curse the person to eternal hell.

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I just found a blog entry I wrote on my clie some time ago which I had forgotten about. Upon reading it again, I believe this entry will offend a lot of people, because it is about something very sensitive, which is... race. However, as usual, I am going straight ahead with it. Please do not scold me or something, coz remember I am merely a 19 yr old poly student. My knowledge of the world outside is limited, and if I am wrong, correct me. There is no need for insults. If you disagree and you think u are justified, state your reasons too.

The following chunk is merely what I felt that day. I could be wrong, of course.

*****

Watching ARE YOU HOT? yesterday really almost made me puke blood.

Alright, for those of you who don't know what the show is about, it is a competition to find out the hottest person in the whole of US; hottest meaning the sexiest.

It is sodding obvious that the judges are trying their best to be racially careful. There was this Afro American girl who got a full ten marks for her face. It is ridiculous. Her nose is too big, her face is not defined enough, and her lips are too thick.

I got hopping mad and Eileen said that although she is not worthy of a ten, she is pretty enough for a black.

Well, thats total bullshit.

I mean, its a fair competition isn't it? So what if most blacks have thick lips? Thicks lips are not supposed to be considered to be an aesthetic thing, so too bad. Is it fair that a white gets penalised for having thick lips but a black doesn't, just because most of their race looks like that? It is totally unfair to the whites. Well, i see the whites getting penalised for having freckles. And blacks dont get freckles. Why not excuse the whites for having freckles, coz most of their race have it?

Nowadays the racist thingy gets so sensitive, and everyone gets so afraid of being labelled as a racist, that things are going the opposite direction, no?

Another example is this ah beng looking chinese contestant. He has single eyelids and slanty eyes. The judges claimed that his eyes are beautiful. HELLO?! Sascasm? Come on, the stage is full of angmohs with deep set blue eyes framed with thick eyelashes and the judges claim a chinese man's eyes are sexy? Please, there is no need to tell so hard to tell people u are racially harmonious. In my opinions, it only makes things worse by bringing the racist issue to light.

The judges are so full of bullshit. Directly after the full-marks-face black girl was this white girl. Now, the first girl is FAT. They claimed that her body is curvacous and sexy. As for the white girl, one of the judges says she has fat thighs when obviously her thighs were like 50% thinner than the first girl. Yet another attempt to tell the world how racially harmonious America is. Why isn't the black girl criticised for having thunderthighs like the white?

And then there are these "punk" like contestants (afro americans) who managed to get into the semi finals while acting hip hop or something.

One of these fellas i saw, has an afro hairstyle, a mediocre face, is too fucking fat, and has a very loud voice. Hello??? Who let that fatso in? Were the people judging the auditions blind? Too bad man, this is a totally superficial compeition based on looks. He may be smart, he may be kind, but he is definitely in the wrong competition.

The judges claimed he had the X factor. X factor my foot. If he was that hot, I would like to see Rachel (the supermodel judge) fuck him right now. I bet she wouldn't do it, coz he is far from hot and nearer to grosteque. All the hip hop and snide answers only make him even more childish and less sexually desirable.

On the other hand, i don't see any whites passing the test if they were anywhere near fat. Oh no! They have higher criteria to meet, coz they are whites! Its disgusting.

I drew a comic.





I bet my Rolex that the winner would be one black, and one white. If the afro american won because he/she is sexy enough, of course it is fair. I have seen some of them who look really good. However, i think its really unfair if the afro american won just because of the silly race issue. I'm sure he/she would not like to win a contest by this method too.

To me, if a white is really sexiest, then why should he/she not win? It is supposed to be a fair competition isn't it? If there is such an arrangement, why not have separate competitions for all the races?

Don't even get started on the "calling blacks blacks is racist thing". I am not racist. I do not know any blacks myself and there is no reason for me to look down on them or anything like that.

I know I should have used the term afro americans but i'm blogging this on my clie so its too troublesomely long. Anyway, if we can call caucasians whites, why can't we call Afro Americans Blacks? It is merely a term and whatever connotations you have about the term which is derogatory is purely ur own and not mine. So if you think i am racist, actually u are the racist one. Think about it, isn't it possible that in my dictionary Blacks=smart friendly people who can dance very well? Whats so racist about the term blacks? Black is a nice colour.

-It is the extreme anti-racists that are causing all the discomfort.-

*****

Upon reading about the issue again, I really think that people should stop being so sensitive and serious about the racist issue. Remember when we were all kids and every race went to kindergarden together? I remember we (chinese and malays kids) used to tease the Indians for having the smell of the oil they use. And then the Malay and Indian kids would say that the Chinese kids are not opening their eyes coz Chinese usually have small eyes?

Did anyone take offence? Were all the kids racist? In the end, didn't everyone play together anyway? All these are merely differences of each race, and a bit of teasing will not hurt anyone. Whats with all the sensitivity anyway? Truly harmonious people will not take offence so easily.

I remember I was talking to this Indian friend of mine, and she told me that the greatest insult will be when, for example, an Indian joins a group of Chinese friends and they tell him that he is totally like them, and they like him just as they would like a Chinese, because this means that the Chinese are not accepting the Indian as what he is uniquely as a person of a different race, but instead comparing him to a Chinese and thinking that he is as good as a Chinese.

Alright, actually it does not make sense, but hey, I'm tired.

Whatever it is, fucking serious people still exist, and because they cannot take a joke, they make the world a miserable place. Please dig up my archives to read what I think should be done to serious people.

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2003-11-27

Just finished clubbing at a Heineken event at Velvet... Was great fun... Am very tired now so shall blog tml...

Anyway, I was just randoming reading through August's entries and I was like,

"Oh Jeremy jeremy jeremy... Oh jeremy..."

And then I proceeded to drool at his picture for about 2 hours before Cloudy (my maltese) hiccupped in his sleep and woke me up.

Help! I'm still in a daze of infatuation....

Oh, jeremy jeremy jeremy....

Fuck it, I will never get over that guy. I can imagine myself sobbing and sobbing non-stop at his wedding, together with a few other girls, one of which has a pimple on her nose which has never left her nose for the past 2 years. My sharks' fin will overflow with mucus and tears. My suckling pig will drown. I will flood the banquet room and the flowers will all wither and die.

Jeremy will be very angry with me for acting like his wedding is a funeral. He will never speak to me again. I will realise that I can never have sex with him as he is becoming a married man and I will slit my wrist and smear the blood over the bride's face and she will be so horrified and hate Jeremy for spoiling the most important day in her life, thus she pours the Moet and Chandon over Jeremy's cute hair and leaves in a huff to marry a fat dying old man who can give her more money.

Jeremy will slit his wrist too coz I kicked his shin as well and broke his kneecap and he can never play soccer again. Jeremy's blood will spurt across the room in all directions, staining the beautiful white decorations and making the guests all very unhappy that their clothes are ruined. Jeremy's blood mixes with my river of tears and some little kids who cannot swim drown. Men everywhere suddenly understand how it is like to have menses.

Meanwhile Jeremy's sister prances around showing everyone the latest beauty contest trophy she won (the 2,383th), but nobody cares coz everybody is busy looking at me coz I am taking a banquet knife now to cut out my heart, which (not-surprisingly) has broken into a million pieces. My placenta falls out as well. The sister is very angry and kicks Jeremy's other shin, so now he cannot even play one-leg soccer. Jeremy howls in horror and accidentally falls face down into the hot shark fin's soup. He is traumatized coz his hair is now messy. However, he takes out a box of Listerine PocketPak and asks everyone if they want any, anyway. I continue to sob, finally drowning everyone, and floating amongst the corpses is a few pieces KitKat White, which is Jeremy's favourtie chocolate and my supposed wedding gift for him.

Oh, the sorrow... Oh, jeremy, jeremy, jeremy....

Why thou art runneth thy deny love by and sworn by thee art thou Romeo? (By the way, that has no meaning whatsoever except to sound Shakespeare-ish.)

Oh, I am talking nonsense again. Someone slap me.

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2003-11-25

You know you have reached the epitome of narcissism (if there is such a word) when u do something like what I have decided to do.

I will... Print a tshirt... which has a picture of me, wearing a tshirt, which has a picture of me, wearing a tshirt, which has a picture of me, wearing a tshirt, which has a picture of me.

Still don't understand?

Here you go:











Tadah! Is it brilliant, or brilliant?

I'm off to printing it now. Anyone who thinks this is a perfect idea can ask me to do the photoshopping for your pic at a reduced price of $5. While stocks last only! Limited offer this christmas! LOL!

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Got this off Firecow's website... Interesting, have a read...

LOL... Looking for virgins?? *Waves hands madly around* ME me me me me me me!!!!! Me virgin!

Who, for a moment, believed that? Haha!

Mr Jackie Cheng, once he starts having sex at the age of 34, would slap himself for missing out all the sex in his life for the past 14 years or so. But I bet he has a very small penis and until the girl is bound to him for life (aka marriage), he would not risk losing the relationship by showing her his inferior member.

I wanna join the Virgin Day thingy. Just to see how they check whether I am one. But on second thoughts... It would be full of ugly people, so no.

Says Mrs Koh-Hoe, 29: 'Our message is this: If I have pre-marital sex, I am not a person of good character. In fact, any sex outside of marriage is immoral whatever the age of the person.'

Siao, how is premarital sex affecting good character? What she said is flawed and totally unfounded. And where is the immorality?

I am pro pre-marital sex.

Several reasons.

1) Before u marry a person, you have to see if the fella fulfilled several criteria. For example, if you cannot accept smokers, you have to know whether your partner is a smoker before marrying the person. It is the same for sex. What if both partners have very different sex tastes, like one likes SM and the other loves slow romantic sex with candles, but not dripped on the body?

Do they change for one another? And if both refuse to change? Do they find others for sexual pleasures? I say, have pre-marital sex first.

2) You don't wanna be shocked to death when, after marriage, you realise that ur partner has ass hair or something which is totally grosteque.

If you argue that no premarital sex doesn't mean no petting, well, whats the difference between heavy petting and sex? Not much. I say, have pre-marital sex.

3) More practice = you can give the best to your future partner.

4) Are u willing to die not knowing how much better sex can get if you do it with another person? (presuming that there are no extra-marital affairs after marriage)

Premarital sex will make the world a better place.

-Only ugly people say they disapprove of pre-marital sex.-

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2003-11-24

When I took Media Law in school, I was told by my lecturer that the Media is a very powerful tool, thus, in many countries there are many strict laws protecting who owns the media. For example, the chairperson of say, Mediaworks, cannot be a foreigner.

Ah, a few days ago I just realised the power of propaganda.

I have just ruined someone's life.

Everyone remember Kaiwei?

Well, I think half of Singapore's teenage/young adult population have read my blog at least once. I have reason to believe that because everytime I talk bad about someone, the person seems to be able to read it 1 day after I wrote the entry. For example, the Herpes entry a few days ago was read by the gf of the guy I wrote it to. Doesn't matter though, coz I was only joking anyway.

And then Kaiwei called from the US to tell me that Weihui read my blog.

Well.

I have no idea what is going on, but I think Weihui threatened a break up? Or maybe not.

1 hour later Kaiwei called me again to say that his whole camp knows by now coz some campmate read the blog. One single day before all life-forms associated with Kaiwei reads my blog. The campmate told him, "Bak, you are so dead."

"Oh, so does he find it nice?", I asked Kaiwei. He didn't think it is funny.

Well, of course not.

But let me jump to my own defence before everyone starts to blame me for breaking them up, if they do break up, which I think they wouldn't.

1) It is good that Weihui (AND I) found out early.

2) If their relationship cannot withstand a silly hiccup like this, it is not my fucking problem. Too bad, I thought a 3 year relationship would have been stronger huh?

3) Whatever I wrote was the absolute truth.

4) The entry wasn't meant to be for Weihui to read. If you think that she should not have known, well, blame that friend of hers who told her to read my blog.

5) Hello, did anyone consider that I am the victim here too?

6) Why can't I write about my life in my blog? Kaiwei is just plain unlucky that he has dated an internet bitch from hell. Should I have been a normal stupid girl, none of these would have happened. But no. I was just smart enough to think that he could be lying and smart enough to spend some effort to check. And I happen to have a blog which gets 500 readers a day.

7) He should not have been lying in the first place.

*****

Well, here are some words I would like to tell Weihui:

First off, Kaiwei did not really "betray" you coz he and I did not do anything at all. He merely said he is single. Well, I think most guys do that all the time, moreover, you are in the US, so stuff like this would happen I guess. But the fellow seems to be very smitten by you anyway, so a dumb thing like this should not upset the relationship too much, else it is difficult to find guys who are smitten nowadays.

Don't get angry. Get even.

Fuck a Caucasian today.

If you choose to leave him (most likely this whole issue is merely an excuse?), welcome to singlehood! *embrace* No more hurt, no more confusion, and FREEDOM to choose all over again. Ain't life great?

*****

Kaiwei told me I ruined everything for him.

Well my dear. I didn't. You ruined everything yourself. If you didn't lie, nothing would have happened.

And by the way. Weihui is not everything. Your still have your family, your friends and your other possessions, no? Come on, its just a girl. Brace yourself and stop behaving like some spineless sea urchin.


Kaiwei said that he regrets knowing me.

The feeling is mutual.

Kaiwei said he would not contact me again.

What about the Penthouse magazine you promised to buy for me from US?! :(

Kaiwei threatened suicide.

I thought about removing my posts for a while, and decided that I shall not. If he is such a weakling, it is not my problem. If life means only ONE girl to him, well, he should watch Temptation Island and wake up his idea; life is not worth living. If he cannot handle this silly little incident in life, he possible would kill himself sooner or later anyway.

Eg:
"Oh, my hairline is receding. I think I shall commit suicide."

Maybe he should see this website. Maddox. He is damn funny.

And Bak? Even if you died I wouldn't remove the posts. So it is not worth it.

*****
The only reason I can think of about why Kaiwei is still civil to me after all I have (unintentionally) done to him is because I have all the power in my hands.

One simple click from blogger. I can say he had sex with me (which he didn't, ok!). I can say his penis is puny. ANYTHING. In case you guys are wondering whats my point, my point is that I AM ALL-POWERFUL!!!

LOL... I don't think any guys would dare to offend me from now on.

Don't worry, little boys! I am usually kind and nice...

-You men should know the seriousness of infidelity. Everyone gets hurt, precious trust which is lost is never regained, and in most cases, you lose both the girls. Go fuck a llama.

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2003-11-23

Ha! Now everyone is writing bad comments! I think u people just want me to respond and rebutt, ala previous post.

But too bad! I can't be bothered. I shall just delete the comments.

Lalala!

Shall blog later, I'm too tired after Nicholas tse's stepsister's wedding at the Ritz.

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2003-11-21

When there is love, there will be hate. For every 30 or so people who tell me they absolutely love me, there would be 1 idiot who wishes to be special and begs to differ.

Hate Mail?

Here are my responses.

(They are uneditted. The email address is real, you guys can spam him all you want. The words in bold are my responses.)

From: "Kenneth Yong"
Subject: My friend icq me ur blog site; first impression, NICE Interface! Sparked my curiosity, until I came across...
To: xiaxue_blog@yahoo.co.uk

My friend icq me ur blog site; first impression, NICE Interface! Sparked my curiosity, until I came across at ur comments on the FHM page (true, guys NEVER miss such pages). Whatever.

It is VERY offending how u term S'pore men to be ALL the same with bad taste.

When did I say that? I'm saying generally. Or at least those who voted. I did not say that all of them have bad tastes.

Get a grip, FHM is available in many different countries, naturally, contents are different. During a poll on Top100 sexiest women, UK/US FHM will have their TOP 100 while SG/Asian FHM will have theirs too. Asian men's tastes are always different from Caucasians. So dun compare.

You are an idiot you know? Precisely because it is different, we compare. Whats the point of comparing two identical things? And guess what? I wanna compare, I compare. You cannot stop me, or control me. Its my blog and if u are not happy, don't read it.

And about the CONSPIRACY abt the Mediacorp artists in the SG FHM's TOP 100, even if its TRUE, its abt POLITICS, u'll understand when u grow older or started working in the MEDIA/ADVERTISING industry.

Whats your fucking point?

Every SG man has different unique taste, and FHM is MEANT for men to comment abt the girls in the content, NOT for young girls the LIKES OF YOU to even comment abt the girls (who are pretty enough to warrant a page or a corner in FHM) in FHM, least to comment abt the taste of SG men being bad.

FHM was meant for men to comment? Correct. Thus, I did not comment in FHM. And my blog site, if for ME TO COMMENT. So I comment in my site. Whats wrong? And guess what? The taste of SG men is bad. I repeat that. The taste of SG men is bad. It is my opinion, and I am saying that in a little space of my own in the internet world (and if u realise u are the intruder here), what's wrong? My blog is supposed to be for me to write my intimate thoughts. I am generous enough to share it with people who enjoy it. If you don't, fuck off and don't come back!

IRONICALLY, while u commented that SG men who voted the girls to that particular spot in the poll has no taste, those girls are MUCH prettier than YOU in any way.

Where's the irony? Help me, I need a Phillips Bulb, I can't find it. So what if they are prettier? If you use your miniscule brain to think, I am not saying that SG men should choose me to have good taste. I am saying that there are many many sexier females out there, and the results are just appalling. And I am not even talking about Angmohs here. The truly sexy Asian women like Shu Qi and Vivian Hsu are just missing, to be replaced by what, Constance Song? It is ridiculous.

And of course, so what if they are prettier? Can't I comment that they are ugly?! What bullshit. Does that also mean that u cannot comment food taste bad when u can't cook better? Stop being a fucking arsehole. Even if I look like Quasimodo, I can still say that Constance Song is ugly. So there.


Quote: "Thats all folks! Since I spend so much effort doing this, please send this URL to as many men as possible to let them realise how bad their taste is.

Send it to girls to let us all rejoice in agreeing that Singaporean men's taste suck, which is why I remain single till this day."
Hahaha, you didn't choose to REMAIN SINGLE till this day, its because YOU DUN HAVE A CHOICE! Because, SG men's taste is GOOD ENUF not to choose the LIKES of YOU! YOU are juz LEFT ON THE SHELF~~~~~

LOL my dear. You know what u sound like? A 3 yr old kid. If you happen to read the rest of my blog, you will realise that there are plenty of men who are interested in me. And I am not even talking about the internet world, where my mailbox is flooded everyday with "friend" requests. I'm talking about real life.

But part of what you said is true. I am not single because SG men's taste suck. I am single coz the men I meet are not good enough for me, or it just happens that I do not have feelings for them.

Left on the shelf? ME?! LOL... Possible my dear. I would rather sit on the shelf and play with my palmtop then degrade myself to be with a guy who is not worth it. Like you, perhaps.


Quote"Alright actually I didn't put in that much effort." hahaha, even if YOU ever put in any effort, ya, those with bad taste might be interested.
Get a Grip and grow up! And dun ever lump all SG men together as the same. Becuz EVERYONE is unique, like you, ur friends, and me.

Whats the point here? That I should grow up? Yes, I wish I could, like 10 cm? Oh well.

But hey, guess who should grow up? Who is writing with shorthand? Becuz?? What the hell is "becuz"?

Who is the one whose real name is KENNETH YONG but uses a stupid Japanese name instead? What kinda idiot uses Japanese alias nowadays? You think you are really whats that, Tenshi Sensi? What the hell is a Tenshi Sensi anyway? It sounds like a sushi plus a perfume.

I wonder who should grow up. Mentally.

Yes. YOU. Are u still donning floppy Japanese socks?


If you are not afraid to put the above comments of mine, on your blog, for everyone to see, I'll respect your effort. I'll return to this place to check out your replies, and the replies from the rest of your friends. Last but not least, I dun want to make war, I am juz fighting back for the sake of SG men, because of ur offending comments in the FHM pages. You started it first! Are you mature enough to handle this issue? Or you're juz going to delete this entry away? We shall see...

LOL, challenging me? Why should I be afraid of a stupid internet person like you? You are the one in my site, and I am the one with the power. And I remember you, you are the idiot who said I was racist some time ago, about the Indian woman dream huh?

I thought you don't like what I write? That entry was like centuries ago. Why are u still here? Shoo, and have a great time with your "japanese" poseur existence on the internet.


---TENCHI SENSI---
Oh, shut the fuck up. Tenchi your head.

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I think its good that you're honest about yourself but there are some things that can be put forth less blatantly....you're trying to look rich? what for? For more respect, so people would think u have class? really...thats the lamest thing ive ever heard....Its not a rich look that gives u all that...its how u carry yourself. Expensive phones or ex looking clothes mean nothing in the real world. Give it some time..you'll grow up and see it for yourself.
disgusted | 11.19.03 - 6:41 am | #

Did I say I want more respect? And its the lamest thing u have ever heard? Well, its time to wake up, coz u are hallucinating and I did not ever say anything like that.

Its just an image I like. No particular reason. Like people like to act Jap, or some people go Punk and stuff. I like the rich look. Thats all.

I did not buy my phones coz they are expensive. I buy them coz I like them. Duh.


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jeremy will never have sex with you even if u offer yourself to him. so dream on...or wake up!
TRUTH | 11.19.03 - 9:00 pm | #

On the contrary. I do think Jeremy would have had sex with me if maybe we were in a secluded island alone or something. But thats not the point. The point is, you do not know Jeremy, and thus, your statement is utterly unfounded. You cannot prove that Jeremy would not have sex with me, so dream on... or wake up!

And I do not really want Jeremy to have sex with me. Oh wait.. Ok maybe I do.. But thats not the point. The point is, I WAS JOKING. What kinda idiot cannot understand that?!


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And about the Weihui issue.

Just one point. Kaiwei did not choose Weihui because she is better than me. Kaiwei chose her because she came first, 5 years ago. If she is that great, Kaiwei would not have lied to me in an effort to make me his gf.

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Yup thats all. And in future, if you wanna write bad comments, have some balls and send it to my email. NOT LEAVE AN ANONYMOUS COMMENT LIKE SOME SHIVELLED PRUNES.

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One upon a time there was this woman who looked like Cher. She may have once been beautiful, who knows? But now, she just looks scary beyond all reason.

So anyway, 17 years ago this woman had sex with an albino, and after that, she got a baby daughter who looks really pretty, and her face was white as snow, her hair a jet black, and her lips red as blood. The proud mother called her Snow White.

The albino daddy of Snow White decided to turn gay, so the mother brought her baby daughter to the local pub where she could drown all her sorrows. Alas, she got drunk again, but this time, the one night stand turned out to be a Prince! The desperate Prince was forced by his dying mum to marry a fat and ugly princess from the next country before he could be King, so he decided to marry Snow White's mum instead, faking his mum that Snow White was his daughter but he was just afraid to acknowledge her a year ago.

The Prince's mother died and the Prince was made King, making Snow White a princess.

Now there's a problem. As the Queen got older and more wrinkled, the King seems to eye beautiful Snow White more and more. One day, the Queen saw the King touch Snow White's hands lustily!

"AHEM!"

The King and Snow White jumped apart.

"My King, it has been long since you gave me a gift.... I want a servant who can tell me how beautiful I am everyday, because apparently my daugther is getting more attractive than me, isn't she?!! HUH?!"

The King gave a loud grunt and heck cared the Queen, so the angry Queen smacked the King on the head with a piece of Char Siew.

"Oww~! That fucking hurts! What was that for? And where did that piece of thing come from?!"

"Its for ignoring me, you bastard! And its apparently called a Char Siew, this thing. Someone mailed it to me. I find no use for it except to whack you."

"Whatever. You are a wrinkled as Lee Kwan Yew."

"Who is that?!"

"Some Chinese man which our prophet says will be the most wrinkled man on Earth in future."

"Our prophet always talks bullshit! Ask him to predict the next war and he will say something like, 'Do-do birds will be extinct.' Wtf? Do-do birds will never be extinct, they are everywhere! What an idiotic prophet we have!"

The King took advantage of the situation, grabbed the Char Siew, and smacked the Queen on the head.

"Go get urself that magic mirror in my room and stop yakking and yakking! Leave me alone with Snow White!"

"I thought you loved that mirror?", the Queen asked.

"It used to tell me my dick is the longest in the world but now it refuses to look at it since I tried to shove it into its mouth."

"YOU WHAT? DISGUSTING BASTARD!"

"I am King. I do whatever I want."

So anyway, the Queen got hold of the mirror.

"Mirror mirror on the wall, tell me, whos the fairest of them all?"

The guy in the mirror woke up, and said, "Michael Jackson after his bleaching? No. Actually, Snow White. Duh. Did you even for a moment think it was you? You are scary beyond all reason! Anyway, wait till you hear what that husband of yours did to me!"

The Queen gave the mirror no chance to do that. She whacked it with the piece of Char siew and it smashed into a million pieces.

"Lai ren ah!", she screamed. "Kill Snow White for me! "

Luckily for Snow White, she was hiding behind the door when all these happened.

She ran to the well, and started to sing about how some day her prince will come.

Walking idly, she arrived at this little hut. Being the rude and ill-mannered princess she is, she walked into the hut without knocking, and saw 7 little dwarves watching soccer in underwear. One of them was reading a porn magazine.

You think Liang Po Po is the ugliest thing since evolution, but you have no idea. A dwarf in underwear is infinitely worse. Snow White screamed in horror.

But too bad for Snow White. A scream is the last thing she should have done, because it immediately idenifies her as a lady and what would seven ugly men living alone want?

A maid of course.

The dwarves shoved Snow White into the room, and started to get her to clean up the house, while they continued drinking ale while watching soccer.

With this, Snow White lived for a few months. She particularly hated Sneezy the dwarf coz he always throws his used tissues around. Snow White was held prisoner because she was too dumb to unlock the door.

In case you are wondering why the dwarves are not sexually interested in Snow White, it is because Snow White is too big for them. In physical size.

So anyway, one day the dwarf called Grumpy decided to let Snow White have an apple and take a rest, coz Snow White cleaned his room particularly well that day. What he doesn't know is that Snow White hates him and have put chilli powder into his underwear, but I guess what he doesn't know wouldn't hurt him.

Snow White took a bite and decided to act like she died. She somehow had this feeling that this would get her out of the house. She also read in several story books that a kiss from a prince will revive the dead, and it seems that princes only like to kiss dead girls? So she will pretend to be dead and come to life when a prince kisses her! She tried not to think how disgusting it is if it were the dwarves to kissed her instead.

And what if it was Lee Kwan Yew who kissed her? Oh no! But she will have to take chances.

The dwarves found Snow White dead and shoved her into the forest to rot, and got on with their lives.

Snow White laid on the ground, sobbing in her heart, as the forest is a dreadful place and she feels really sorry for herself that she has to live her life this way. Where should she go? She can't even go home, her mum will (literally) kill her! And she didn't dare open her eyes, she was scared the dwarves would still be there; scared of what she will see...

Suddenly, she heard steps of a horse and a man... Not light steps like those of the dwarves... Steps of a real man... And the air was filled with the sensual smell of Davidoff purfume... Ah... What arousal...

Snow White knew there was hope. It must be her Prince!! She prayed and prayed that her cleavage can be seen... and that her hair covered that stupid pimple she just got.

The Prince bent down, and gave Snow White a deep, tongue wrestling, lip-locking kiss, which took away Snow White's breath and melted her heart. She could feel his sharp nose and chiselled face against hers, and his luscious lips; they are oh, so soft....

Snow White fluttered her long dark eyelashes open, to see a hunky, dark-haired man with dark brown curls looking at her lovingly...

"Oh, you must be my prince!", Snow White exclaimed.

"Yes.... You are beautiful, my Princess...."

"Are u gonna marry me?"

"Yes, my dear..."

"Do you gamble, drink excessively, and watch soccer all the time?"

"No, no, and no..."

"Will you promise to only love me and never have sex with other women, men, or animals?"

"Children?"

"Children as well. And dead people."

"Oh, alright. I suppose you are pretty enough for me to promise that."

"Are you rich?"

"Yes. I am a millionaire."

"Do you have a eight inch number and can last more than 15 minutes?"

"Its 9 and a half to be exact. And I can last for 2 hours."

"Oh my God you are perfect!"

"And I love you, my princess... There... You must be tired.. Let me ride you on horseback to my castle..."

"Yes, yes my Prince..."

With that, Snow White travelled for 3 days on the Prince's horse.

She arrived at a construction site.

"Oh, the castle is still building?", she queried.

"Uhmmmm...", the Prince mumbled.

"Actually I've got something to tell you. My name is Joe Millionaire."


Snow White vomitted blood and died on the spot, this time for real.

*****

Oh no I am so bo liao. LOL

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2003-11-20

How?? I am Friendster siao!! I just realised eons around I requested for Randall Tan to be my friend and today while scrolling through my friends' list and religiously checking if Jeremy's "single" has suddenly turned into "in a relationship", I realised that RANDALL TAN HAS ACCEPTED ME AS FRIEND!! Whahahahah! Cheap thrills cheap thrills!

Oh no I need to get a life.

lalalallalaalala!
Randall is my friend!

So is Mark Chow. Oh but I know that fellow. LOL...

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2003-11-19

Ok I got alot of things to blog about. So everything such be in short.

For super faithful readers like Jo and BlueBalls, you would know that my favourite minister is Vivian Balakrishnan right? Well, I worked at Ritz Carlton a few days before, and guess what? I served him!! Hahaha... Its so exciting...! I think he is a very sexy man!!

Thats not the point of course. The point is, the fucking manager Khor caught me for my hair colour again. This time round, I pinned up my very short fringe (can u imagine how hideous that looks?) and sprayed it black already. However, the black spray is not lethal enough, and some parts of my hair remained dark brown.

He took a look at me and claimed that he has to deduce my pay by two hours.

I took him he has no rights to do that.

He claimed that Ritz Carlton has rules, and either we follow the rules, or leave. He then gave me a smug look and asked me what is my choice.

I said there were no such rules until he came, so who is he to set the rules when the banquet manager himself is not saying anything at all?

He said rules are rules, I could check with HR.

He then walked to the office and proceeded to give me my timesheet and asked me to go home immediately. I shouted that I wanted to see Brendon, our banquet manager.

Brendon is not around.

I shouted that I want to see the F&B manager then, this angmoh called Robert Lagerway.

So I stormed out of the office, this time with me in control, walking in front, and he tagging along. Very luckily, we saw Lagerway on our way (I know its a horrible rhyme).

Khor started blabbering in broken English to Lagerway. I swear, that man cannot form a proper English sentence to save his life. He actually called me a "he". DO I LOOK LIKE A FUCKING TRANSVERSTITE?

Lagerway is a blond angmoh. And here silly Khor is, rambling on about how he thinks all staff should have black hair. Lagerway looked very uncomfortable. I explained to him that there is nothing wrong with hair dye as long as it is not too outragous, right?

At first he sided Khor coz he (I believe) thinks I am one of those stupid part-timers who didn't even pass PSLE. Of course, he doesnt know that I got 269 for PSLE, which is the highest achievement I got in my life, second being that I won an Art competition in Pri 4. Thats not the point of course.

The point is, I won the first stage coz Lagerway said that in future, I ask Human Resource to judge my hair colour before I work at banquet. If they say its fine, its fine. Good! Which means I don't need to give a shit about Khor's opinion as long as I lick HR's boots.

This is the best part. Just as Lagerway asked Khor whether he agrees with this method, and Khor gave a very forced smile.... I WHIPPED OUT MY LETTER.

Khor looked so shocked.

"Mr Lagerway", I said. "I have a complain letter to give to you about Khor here."

"Oh, so this is personal."

"Well, I wrote it on behalf of the banquet team. But I have not got them to sign the petition yet, coz I didn't expect to give it to you so early."

And then Lagerway flipped the pages to read. One... two... three... four... four pages... Font size 10. Khor almost stared his eyes out at the letter. He looks like he wants so much to snatch the letter from Lagerway's hands to crush and put into his mouth and swallow it, but can't.

Up till now, I have no idea what happened to Khor. He is possibly getting sodomised by Lagerway.

*****

My New Park banquet manager decided to hop hotels and move to Hilton where there are apparently more prospects than good ol' New Park. He then shifted the entire New Park banquet team to work there as well.

Now, Hilton has this restaurant/ballroom at the 24th floor, where it looks out into a nice view of Orchard Road. One of my colleagues who worked at Hilton for a long time, told me that the 24th floor is haunted and I should never ever think of going into the toilet alone.

I asked her why it is haunted. She said that a chef once jumped from the building, to land on the 5th floor.

That night, I worked halfway and decided I shall skive a little by going to the toilet for a long shit, conveniently forgetting my colleague's ominous foreboding.

I stepped into the toilet and started to play games on my T500, my 8910 wedged in the waistband of my banquet skirt.

I heard noises in the next toilet. I cannot make out clearly the noise, but it was just like someone using the toilet... The usual snuffling and stuff. Now, the opening of the main door is a loud affair, and I did not hear it open at all. So there should not be anyone in the toilet at all...

I froze in my seat, listening hard for more sounds.

Suddenly, the sanitary bin, a metal thingy with a lid, gave a loud "CLANK!" as the lid, which was initially left open, fell down.

I almost jumped out of my epilated skin.

Hastily, I stood up.

"Plop."

Dull metal hits cement.

MY 8910!!! IT FELL INTO THE FUCKING HAUNTED TOILET BOWL!!

They say money makes the world go round. Its true. I put my hand into the toilet bowl (which I thankfully did not shit in), pulled out my drowning 8910, and completely forget about the toilet having ghosts and started thought about my $450 flying away.

I quickly used the hair dryer to blow it dry, but the problem with 8910s is that 1) its parts cannot be taken out to dry unlike 8250s and other nokia phones and 2) the bottom part is a very good space to keep water in.

My 8910 gave me one last suffering look and died. No one can revive it later.

Oh yeah I did rinse it in water first.

So anyway, by morning it cured by itself and is working PERFECTLY fine. See? I say its Hilton's fault. That place is fucking haunted alright. And guess what? I later realised that there really isn't anyone in that toilet at all.

Today, I went to watch Le Divorce with Eileen. Its a sucky show. I thought it was RA and waited at the edge of my seat the whole night for some boobs but none came.

Anyway, before I met Eileen, I went to dye my hair at Toni & Guy. Its free anyway coz they needed hair models. Tomorrow I will be going for a free hair cut too by Toni & Guy's director! I'm quite excited!! Pictures tomorrow.

Heres a picture of Eileen and me...



See? I'm not a selfish person. I look like a farty clown (*winks Eugene, if u read this*) in that picture and the mere reason why I posted it up is coz Eileen looks pretty! =D

Oh yeah yesterday. Yesterday I worked for Tiger Beer at this function which is at the ZOO's restaurant!! Its really the best job in the world! We got chilli crab to eat...



And then we got a FREE visit to the night safari!





In case you are wondering, that picture is there just because I feel its been a long time since I last put up photos of myself and I need to get more self-centred.

I worked with these two girls, and one of them is a typical Ah lian who would be a great partner for Khor because she too cannot speak English to save a cockroach's cheap life. The ah lian has big boobs and, is ugly, wears distasteful make-up, smokes, and looks like a typical tanned SPG.

So, this New Zealand fellow from work tried to pick her up and guess what? They cannot communicate coz she kept not understanding what the angmoh said. If I had balls, I would have laughed till my balls cramped.



There... The ah lian and the angmoh. I'm very insulted by the angmoh. Why did he choose to pick her up and not me? If he picked me up, he would not have to repeat every question 3,1927 times before she understood him halfway. Now he possibly thinks all Singaporean Chinese girls are damn stupid. And she is ugly too! But guess what? She looks like a perfect slut, which is precisely why he picked her up; for an easy fuck. Oh well.

I'm glad I dun portray that kinda image.

Or do I?

Today, I was walking along Orchard while waiting for Eileen to come, and happily clad in my newest acquisition from This Fashion, a pair of champagne coloured satin pants.

I don't care if u think it is ugly coz I absolutely love it!

I think the pants look expensive, which completes my rich look. And I don't speak like that ah lian. I am not a low class slut.

Alas. As I was waiting for the traffic lights to turn read, an old old angmoh fella approached me. He is balding, has a very big tummy, and is (I presume) at least 55 yrs old.

He asked me where I am going.

Meeting my friend for a movie.

Ah... Are u sure u wanna go for a movie? Why not have a drink with me?

Yeah I am sure. No thank you, she is waiting for me already.

Are you sure? (shut up and quit repeating yourself)Where do you stay?

Jurong.

Do you want to come down here tomorrow to have a drink with me?

No, thank you.

I guess I still look like a slut afterall. If not, why do I keep attracting all the old men and the liars and the bengs?? WHY WHY WHY???!

WHY ME??!

P/s: I just did this online fortune telling test thingy that June sent me, and see what it predicts of my future...

Jeremy is someone who will never sleep with you because you are stupid enough to waste your time on something like this. -_-||Hover over to read the words.

Wtf.

Everyone chant with me.

Jeremy will have sex with me.
Jeremy will have sex with me.
Jeremy will have sex with me.
Jeremy will have sex with me.
Jeremy will have sex with me.
Jeremy will have sex with me.
Jeremy will have sex with me.
Jeremy will have sex with me.
Jeremy will have sex with me.

Ok you can stop now.

What a long long long long blog entry.

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2003-11-18

Ok it is offically proven. Friendster is evil.

On friendster I found two other people that I should not see.

1) And ex RV English teacher who has... TURNED GAY.

2) Jonathon my ex... His current gf is so ugly.

God Bless my heart. I can't take this anymore.

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Jigsaw my fucking foot!

The more I read the more I fume!!!

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For the first time in my life, I am still bloody pissed after I blogged something out. I can't stand it!

I AM SO BLOODY PISSED!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU, BAK KAI WEI!!!!






(that translates to: I am so bloody pissed. Fuck you, BAK KAI WEI.)
*names have been changed*

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Recently I knew this fellow called Daniel from work at tiger beer. Things got on quite well, and he said he likes me and I quite like him as well... but for one fact. I suspect, somehow, that he is attached.

I saw a girl's picture inside his phone, and asked him whether that is his gf. He said "Yes, she is studying in US currently."

Afterwards, he said that he was lying coz he doesn't like females to bother him so he always claims that he is attached.

Sounds like bullshit, I said.

He crapped a shitload about his reasons, and then concluded by saying that the girl is very much dead now. She got involved in a car accident, he claimed, and died. And he showed me his hp. "See, no girlfriend msgs!"

Ahhh, ok. I didn't dare say more since I didn't want to remind him of her tragic death.

And then he claimed that he is going to the US for some army training thingy.

So lalala, one fine day, I decided to go to friendster.

Hey, I searched for Daniel Bak. No such person. I searched for Daniel's friend, Aaron. Ah! I found him! Tried to see if Daniel was connected. Ok, he wasn't.

I told him jokingly, before he went to the US, that I tried to look for him in friendster. "And so did u find me?" he asked.

"Nope."

Today, I decided to try my luck at friendster again. I typed in his chinese name instead, and TADAH!!

You see for yourself.

No gf my fucking foot.

I feel cheated, abused, stupid and fucking pissed.

And now click on the girlfriend.

Ok tell me people, after u have read all the testimonials the holy couple wrote for each other, are they bloody attached? It seems from Kaiwei's "Describe who u want to meet" that they are not together anymore, but yet it seems that they are having a long distance relationship from Weihui's testimonial. WTF? I am confused.

And according to a certain Augustine's testimonial on Kaiwei's site, it seems that they have not broke up by the 26/10/2003.

But one thing is for sure. Weihui is not bloody dead yet.

If the Weihui girl is very much dead, tell me, how come she can approve a testimonial written on the 04/11/2003?

URGH!!! OMG I AM SO FUCKING PISSED.

I am so pissed, I am hopping around my house in anger, and almost stepped on Cloudy who is very shocked by my behaviour.

I hate everybody and I hope the adultrous pair breaks up. I don't care if they are not adultrous. I am angry. Hey wait. A simple message to Weihui via friendster would cause exactly a break up, wouldn't it? How would she like it when she knows that her "bao fucking bei" has been telling other girls she is DEAD? Wahahaha... Maybe I should...

Or maybe I will wait for Kaiwei to give me an explanation. The fellow is in US huh? Perhaps fucking Weihui now. But he claimed he is in Texas. Well I hope he gets crushed to death by a giant falling cactus.

p/s: I got tons to blog about but guess what? I am too fucking pissed.

p/p/s: Friendster is a bloody bloody dangerous thing. Everyone should beware. Especially those doing the same things as Mr Kaiwei is doing.

p/p/p/s: Kaiwei's page is no longer available.

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2003-11-16

Men should read this! I got it from FHM.com

Blowjob Etiquette For Men (as stated by women)

1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it

2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.

3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw, it is not standard practice to come on someone's face.

4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.

5. My ears are NOT handles.

6. Extension to rule #5 - Do not push on the top of my head.

7. Deep throat - do you really WANT puke on your dick?

8. I don't care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart.

9. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't have sex right now.

10. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school girls - if you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol.

11. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.

12. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is highly unadvisable if you would like my behaviour to be repeated in the future.

13. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.

14. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content.

15. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV or while you are driving.

16. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathise or brag.

17. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning".

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2003-11-12

Dear readers,

My mum, after the departure (as in moving out) of my dad, decided to prove to the world that she can live a better life without him.

Thus, she decided to renovate the toilet and kitchen. As a result, the whole house is now filled with dust and debris, is fucking messy, and has no toilet.

The rest of my family evaded to my grandpa's house to stay.

My mum allowed me to stay at my friends' place.

Yesterday, I stayed at PY's and tonight I will stay at Eileen's. Eileen's computer is spoilt.

The conclusion is, I will stop blogging for a few days. I think.

Have a nice day.

Cheers,
Wendy.

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2003-11-11

Here's a rewrite of the previously deleted entry.

I have a weird friend. This friend of mine, suddenly decided that she doesn't want to be mentioned ever again in my blog. This is because someone which she detests seems to be reading up information of her from my site (it IS getting immersely popular, isn't it?) and she doesn't like that.

I told her I am gonna write about her anyway, and she asked me to respect her privacy. Oh well... So anyway, lets think of a name for her, shall we? I think I shall call her BlueBalls, because calling her using another month would be too obvious.

So anyway, I hate the freaking fellow who is reading my blog who knows BlueBalls. If you are thinking, you already know who BlueBalls is, and the freaking fellow would know too, you ARE WRONG. Thats because he is an idiot with the IQ of a llama. But we shall give him more credit, shalln't we?

Lets say that he is actually thinking... "Hey, BlueBalls could be her... Sounds like it is her...". This is dangerous coz he might be able to piece it together and realise anytime soon. What could we do? We baffle him with another question.

So, idiot, tell me... Did the Broccoli copy the Cauliflower or did the Cauliflower copy the Broccoli?

Ahhhhhhhhhh.... I see that EVERYONE of u are baffled. You are thinking to yourself, "Damn! I would never know the answer!"

Sheesh, but lucky you... I KNOW THE ANSWER.

A long long time ago, God has only just started out with his creations and the only creatures on Earth were Plants. There were no dinosaurs, no humans. These plants were separated into two board kinds. Those with very thick stems were called trees, and the rest of them were called flowers.

And then God only invented 16k colour for the world, and thus, due to the lack of colours, he only assigned GREEN for all the flowers.

These flowers were pretty much the same as the flowers we have nowadays; stuck to the ground, taste horrible, etc. However, they could SPEAK, although they were quite stupid. They also do not have names, thus they "oei" here and there. Some new species that God invented could just pop out like that. They also have sex.

Now this is totally flabbergasting. How could the flowers have sex??? Its amazing how they do it. Say flower A is excited by Flower B, who lives near by. A then slowly GROWS towards B, and then, when he is long enough... The rest are too explicit.

So anyway, one fine day, a now-called "Strawberry" flower is attracted to a now called "Cucumber" flower. Now you may think that Strawberry is the female, but actually it is the male. So anyway, Strawberry and Cucumber had sex, and 2 weeks later, they had a baby.

When two flowers have sex, the baby could either be the species of the father, or the mother, and the third possibility, which is far more exciting, is that a formless baby would be born. This baby can choose to take the form of anything he wants (don't even start thinking he would be Pamela Anderson coz humans are not invented yet and he would not think of doing that), and the formation is permanent.

So, as guessed, Strawberry and Cucumber had a formless baby.

Strawberry said, "Come on! Take the form of daddy! Make yourself a little stouter! And taller! Longer! More phallic!"

Cucumber said, "Take the form of mummy! Make me slimmer! And I want leaves on me!"

The formless baby decided that he is irritated by the both of them and left.

Walking aimlessly, and confused on what to take the form of, the formless baby suddenly saw Broccoli.

Broccoli is one cool flower. He was dancing HIP HOP!!! He twisted his butt and suddenly did the coolest thing: A headspin. And best of all? Broccoli looks like an explosion. The formless baby LIKED THAT!

So, he decided to take the form of Broccoli.

*Pouf!*

He looked at himself in a nearby river. OMG! He was shocked! To his disgust, he was not a deep green like Broccoli but a creamy white colour. Thats most queer!! No flowers are this colour!

At this precise moment God's voice boomed from above and announced that he has invented 256K colour and so from now on flowers and trees can have more colours on them, besides green.

The baby felt much better and walked on.

Everyone saw the baby and thought it was Broccoli who was changed of colour. The baby explained to them that he is a clone. Everyone sniggered behind his back for his lack of personality.

On the other hand, Broccoli felt REALLY MAD. He is highly narssisic and he just plain refuses to have anyone look like him. Also, due to his Ah beng-ness (Broccoli likes to speak in Hokkien loudly), few people like Broccoli, so they keep teasing him and asking him whether he was the clone instead.

Broccoli kept wailing, "Wa bo copy la! Mm si wa! Wa bo copy!"

Suddenly, God announced that there were too many plants and it is high time the town mayor decides on a NAME for each species.

The Mayor called upon Broccoli, who was still wailing, "Wa bo copy!"

The mayor decided to call Broccoli "Bocopy" since thats his favourite line. As time passes, language gets misunderstood, and people called Broccoli, well, Broccoli.

It was the formless (now formed) baby's turn. He kept quiet. The town people boo-ed at him for copying others and having no style of his own.

The Mayor decided to call him "Copyflower" and with miscommunication in time to come, "Copyflower" became today's Cauliflower.

The Mayor called himself "Kang Kong", and nobody knows why he chose such a silly name for himself.

Thats the end of the story! In conclusion, it was the Copyflower who copied the Bocopy.

*****

Anyway, here's more Malaysia for you!



It was a rainy day...



Look, BlueBalls is all wet.

And see what I BOUGHT!



LV Damier coin pouch Fake, and only a freaking 5 bucks.



Christian Dior Bag Muahahha! $25!! Cheap cheap cheap!



VCDS!

Ok I got cheated. In case you guys ever visited JB, DO NOT BUY FINDING NEMO 2. Its a freaking FAKE. Its NOT NEMO! They mutated Nemo and made a CHEONG cheapo cartoon about him. It is RIDICULOUS. Let me tell u the story.

Once upon a time there lives some clown fishes. Nemo, called "Splash" now, has a father who is orange and a mother n sister who are purple.

So, Splash went out with his father and suddenly the father is gone.

Splash panicks. Suddenly, evil eyes of giant octopus appears. Giant Octupus is purple and wants to take over the sea. Current king is a Blue Whale and Giant Evil Octupus wants to take over as king.

Octupus tells Splash that unless he tells him the secret of how to kill the freaking Blue Whale, Splash's father will DIE.

Suddenly everyone bursts into a cheery song about beautiful sea life.

So anyway, stupid Splash tells the secret, which is that the freaking Blue Whale must go to the surface to breathe every 2 hours or he will die.

Splash gets caught into jail with his dad anyway.

They burst into a cheery song about beautiful sea life.

Everyone hates Splash coz he told the secret. Splash and dad has gay sex in the cell without realising it is wrong and incestrous. Ok I bullshitted that.

So the octupus caught the whale and tied him up in a shiny purple liquid for 2 hours and amazingly, blue whale does not die.

This is because he is a bloody CHRISTIAN WHALE AND IS BLESSED WITH GOD'S LOVE.

Now, Christians, this is going too far. We atheists try to give in already. When City Harvest people come and harass us, we know they are coming as we can smell a Christian from a mile. So when the City Harvest guy pesters us, we stab him in the stomach with a penknife and then rob him of his belongings.

We are civil enough to Christians. But must you Christians do this to us Atheists?!! WHY?? Why when we least expect it?! We would never have thought that whale is christian!! And then they all now suddenly burst into a cheery song about GOD's LOVE!!

A freaking Christian whale! I blacked out at this point of time so I did not live to see whether the Octupus is Jewish or not. But anyway, lets go on to more Malaysia.

FOOD!

Sambal Kangkong!!
Deer meat!
Stingray!!

Yum yum yum!!

Its a freaking causeway, and things are so much cheaper! Me and BlueBalls spent a mere $7 each for the food, inclusive of drinks! Where can u get such cheap stuff! If I'm from JB, I would be fucking fat, thats what I would be...

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I am gonna blog about random items tonight coz I got so much to blog about plus I have got to rewrite that entry about Malaysia. Ok but this is totally irrelevant so I am writing it as a single entry.

Adryan (the guy I once liked but now is attached to another female), is finally on Friendster. And then I saw on his page, his freaking GF.

So, I clicked on the freaking GF and I realised that her marital status is......... MARRIED.

Irritating isn't it, this kinda people?? Married my bloody foot, Adryan is only with her for like a month?! After getting very irritated by her, I click on "back" and read Adryan's page and guess what??

Adryan's marital status is....... SINGLE.

Oh, the irony!!! I am so smirking, smirking, smirking. i'm lovin' it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Chihuahua!

Ah, the cheap thrills of life. They make me so bloody happy.

And if you are Adryan's GF, well, I hope u two break up soon. Sincerely speaking, I don't wish you two happiness and I don't see a need to lie. And btw? Change your marital status, wouldn't you? Its EMBARRASSING.

Muahahaha! I'm still gloating.

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I just realised that Jeremy likes this other girl. I have no idea who she is but I know she sucks. Agreed? I shall delete all comments that claim otherwise. Please patronise me, everyone. I am in pain and I need the support.

FUCK THE WORLD. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE?!

More blogging after I finish watching Jacky Wu.

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2003-11-07

OMG I JUST WROTE A VERY VERY LONG ENTRY AND I TRIED TO COPY IT BEFORE I POSTED AND INSTEAD I PRESSED PASTE (and not COPY) AND THE WHOLE FUCKING THING IS FUCKING GONE I FUCKING HATE IT WHEN THIS HAPPENS SO I AM NOT GONNA BLOG TONIGHT AND I HATE THE WHOLE WORLD.

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2003-11-06

Just came back from Malaysia!! Lotsa cheap loot!!

Got photos taken, show ur guys tml!!! Woohoo!!! I love our neighbours!

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2003-11-05

I am not gonna blog tonight, because I just got back from work at Ritz Carlton, and I am fucking pissed with my manager. Thus, I wrote a long long complain letter about him.

And I am gonna paste it here. It is boring like shit unless u know him (*wink wink, Peiying*), but still, I'm gonna paste it here to get u guys excited over a new post which is actually of no interest value.

Anyway, I served Senior Minister Lee today and being the bitch I am, I have absolutely no comments about him except one:

He is bloody wrinkled.

I have no idea why anyone can be so wrinkled.

In fact, when he was sitted down, all I could think of is that he is a wrinkled old man. When asked whether he would like his Evian by my manager, he replied "Yes, thank you" in perfect English and I almost jumped in shock. I have no idea why, but he just looks like a wrinkled old man to me and I sincerely expected him to answer in mumbled Hokkien that he demands beer instead of Evian (Si mi si Evian?). ("Wa ai lim tiger!! Ahh... Tiger ho ah, tiger...")

I think that I am bloody stupid as well, because I could not even understand the gist of his long speech. Not even the GIST. And to think I had to stand politely facing the audience pretending to look like the speech is the speech of the year.

Here's the complain letter.

Miss Wendy Cheng
Blk XX Teban Gardens Rd
#0X-XXX S(XXXXXX)
Phone number: 9XXXXXXX

To: The Human Resource Department
Ritz Carlton Millenia Singapore

RE: New Banquet Manager Mr Khor

To: Whom It May Concern,

I am writing this letter of complain on behalf of many banquet part-timers, many of which have years of experience with Ritz Carlton and are affected by the above-mentioned new banquet manager, Mr Khor. Their signatures are included at the end of this letter.

I personally have worked in Ritz Carlton for 8 months or so, and I consider myself a good worker who tries her best to contribute to upkeep Ritz Carlton�s image of excellence customer relationships. As a part-timer, the sole reason why I am devoted to the hotel is that my employers, such as Mr. Brendon and Mr. Selva, treats me well, and I�m sure that�s why my peers, whom I introduced to work here, do their utmost best for the company as well.

Recently Mr. Jordan Chan has been promoted to be the manager of Snappers restaurant, and because of this, Mr. Khor, previously working in Pan Pacific Hotel, has been recruited to take over Mr. Chan�s position.

Several unhappy events happened, and as a result, many of the more experienced staff have decided to leave Ritz Carlton to join other hotels, due to the incidents which involved Mr. Khor.

Currently, without many of the experienced staff helping, Ritz Carlton�s banquet department is short of able part-timers. About a few weeks ago I was not working as I was having my exams, and when I came back to work today, I saw with my own eyes the horrifying results. Chili sauce was poured to the brim of the saucers, cutlery were not arranged in the correct order, and apparently the new staff hired have no idea what they are doing at all. It�s a pain to see Ritz Carlton�s image going down because of this.

It did not use to be this way.

The following are the reasons why we are unhappy with Mr Khor:

He does not follow Ritz Carlton�s employee policy

Mr Khor was previously from Pan Pacific Hotel. Coincidentally, prior to working at Ritz Carlton, I worked at Pan Pacific Hotel as well, in the same department, which is banqueting. Mr. Khor treats Ritz Carlton as if it is Pan Pacific. I know this for sure because he applies the same attitude and manner Pan Pacific�s banquet managers treat their staff to Ritz�s staff as well.

For example, in Pan Pacific, a military kind of style is used to �discipline� the part-timers and push them to higher performances. Scoldings are done loudly and in front of plenty of people to achieve shame for the wrongdoer. The workers fear, therefore they perform.

I personally do not agree with using the rod instead of the carrot, which is why I switched hotels to work at Ritz Carlton. Here, I am very happy because I know Ritz Carlton�s policy for treating employees; the infamous �We are ladies and gentlemen, serving ladies and gentlemen�. Ritz wants its employees to be happy, so when they serve, they are cheerful. I know this because I did an interview with Mr. Anton once for a school project. However, Mr. Khor does not seem to adhere to this slogan at all. He does not treat Ritz Carlton�s employees as �Ladies and Gentlemen�. Furthermore, he is apparently trying to change Ritz Carlton into another Pan Pacific.

For example, in Pan Pacific Hotel, the females are told to stand with their hands held together in front of them, while the gentlemen to have their hands held behind them. Mr. Khor tried to force this method of standing to Ritz�s banquet staff as well.

When asked by a waitress on why we should stand this way, instead of giving a proper answer like �uniformity� or that it would look neater, he embarrassed her in front of everyone by giving a very crude answer. He replied that proper girls should cover their �in front� (for the hands would cover the female private parts), while the men should cover their behinds in case they get poked in their asses.

This kind of reply is not only extremely rude and insulting to both sexes, but also goes a step further to show Mr. Khor�s incompetence. When asked a simple rationale for his commands, he is not even able to give a proper reason to convince his staff to listen to him. How are we supposed to respect him this way?

But we know better than to question him, because his answers would be that we have no rights to challenge him and that he has the power to send us home immediately.

He has no respect for Banquet part-timers.

Mr Khor seemingly thinks that being a banquet manager makes him a superior being to all of the part-timers whom he can abuse as he wishes.

For example, which a simple reminder will do, he barks and makes sure everyone in the surrounding will stare at the victim, while he hurls on in anger. If a stray napkin is left on a table, instead of nicely prompt a waiter to pick it up, he shouts (I quote), �Leave there for what?! Wait for ME to pick up is it?!�

This kind of behaviour is absolutely unnecessary for small blunders (which is inevitable sometimes) and instead of making us fear him and listen to him, some of us rebel, and many even choose to quit.

No self-respecting employee would tolerate this kind of nonsense. To further wreck the situation, none of us respects Mr. Khor because we all think he is an incompetent manager and thus we would not even bother to try thinking that �maybe he is right�, but instead just brush off whatever he shouts.

He Abuses His Power

Mr. Khor also abuses his power by threatening employees.

In the past, Ritz Carlton�s staff are allowed to have dyed hair which is dark brown. Mr. Khor came into Ritz Carlton, and once, again, applying the same rules of Pan Pacific, decided that all Ritz Carlton�s banquet taskforce are supposed to have jet-black hair.

Personally, I have dark brown hair with blonde highlights. Mr. Khor asked me to spray my hair black, and so the next time I worked, I sprayed the blonde highlights black.

Mr. Khor saw my hair and is still unsatisfied with it. I told him I have already sprayed my hair, but he insisted that he can still see brown, and threatened to cut my pay by 2 hours should that happen again.

Today, I served the VIP table, which sat Senior Minister Lee. As far as the guests are concerned, my dark brown hair seems to be fine, and they are happy with my service. I do not see why dark brown hair should be a problem at all. (Indeed, the rest of the managers think it is perfectly fine too.) Yes, I understand that blonde hair may look a little too wild for work, but what is wrong with dark brown? It is almost indistinguishable from black in the ballroom.

I personally feel that Mr. Khor is abusing his powers by deducting people�s pay by 2 hours just because of a little bit of hair dye. I did 6 hours of standard work (which is totally not affected by my hair colour) for Ritz Carlton, and I think 6 hours of pay is fair for what I should get. Unless Mr. Khor can prove that my hair colour has managed to reduce the work (or standard of work) I did by 2 hours, he has no rights at all to just deduct pay like that.

By doing this, employees who got deducted would feel most bitter and ask themselves, �Why should I work for 6 hours when I am only paid for 4? I may as well slack all the way�. This would cause more ruin to Ritz Carlton�s standards of service.

He drags employment time without paying extra

Today, Mr. Khor told some of the ladies to do some work at the Grand Gallery. He himself stayed inside the ballroom supervising the other employees who are working there.

The majority of us are supposed to end our shifts at 12 am, and the transport comes at 12:30 am sharp.

The ladies did what he told us to, and when no one came to ask us to stop work at 12 am, we proceeded to inside the ballroom to ask Mr. Khor whether we are allowed to go home yet.

He was commanding the guys in the ballrooms to do work, and refused to acknowledge our question and instead just rudely walked into the grand gallery. Meanwhile, the guys who were working in the ballroom tried to ask him whether we can leave yet but gave up asking when Mr. Khor walked into the Grand Gallery, with the ladies tagging behind.

Mr. Khor looked around, and asked us whether we have finished doing what he asked us to do. The point is, it is already 12:10 am, and surely even if we are not able to finish, we should be allowed to leave? However, we did finish our chores and thus we said that we are done. He asked us to clear up some of the trolleys as well as some trays. He asked for us to go inside the ballroom after that.

When we went into the ballroom, he was having some pep talk with the ballroom staff, which is totally wasting the time of the people working in the Grand Gallery. After some time, he proceeded to ask me whether the Grand Gallery is cleared of miscellaneous items and I said yes. He sniggered and said that I am still not allowed to go home until he checked.

By the time he finished his talk and followed us to the Grand Gallery where he no doubt found areas to pinpoint us at, it was already 12:20 am. I was fuming by this point of time because I should have been bathing and changing my uniform at a leisurely pace. Mr. Khor is not paying us for work until 12:20 am, and I don�t see why I should waste my time to help him, and most certainly not as a personal favour.

If he does not manage to get his work done by a certain time, it is his own incompetence and none of my business. At 11:50 am, he should have came into the Grand Gallery to remind the ladies working there to pack up and wrap up work. However, he did nothing of that sort and wasted our time because we did not know that we had to keep the trolleys and trays (we thought the midnight shift staff would need to use them). As a result, I did not manage to change, get my voucher, and get my pay in time for me to catch the transport home and it is most certainly Mr. Khor�s fault.

In conclusion, I hope top management would quickly do something about this. Although in the eyes of a big hotel like Ritz Carlton, banquet part-timers may seem trivial but still, we are the ones the guests meet at the frontline and a cheery waiter can make a big difference to the way a guest views Ritz Carlton.

The banquet part-timers� team does not hope that Mr. Khor gets fired, but instead, hopes that someone would kindly remind him that he is no longer working in Pan Pacific but in Ritz Carlton and should stop abusing his position and start respecting his employees. If not, the amazingly rapid disappearance of quality (I assume quality staff are self-respecting as well) staff would bring Ritz Carlton�s banquet department to dire straits.

Yours Sincerely,
Wendy Cheng
Banquet Part-time Taskforce

******

Yup thats it. I wonder how many of u actually read it. Anyway, please do the survey from the previous entry?!! Please? So that I will have more statistics to comment on the sexuality of people nowadays! Haha...

Alright, nites people!

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2003-11-03

I'm feeling self-centred tonight. Lets just talk about me. Everyone wants to know more about me right? (If no, stop reading here and go to CNN.com to know more about the rest of the world.)

I am weird.

I am weird because when I visit the library to borrow books, I only like to borrow the green books. Green books just look nicer to read. Actually, the first novel I borrowed, without knowing the author, was a green book and I liked it a lot and thus I always borrow green books since then.

I am extremely irritated when people take photos with the camera tilted. I don't understand whats the POINT. Its ok for a real life camera (although its still pointless unless u happen to want to capture something far at the top corner) because you can always tilt a photograph back to see it properly after you develop it.

But for DIGITAL photos??! WTF? (I'm getting angry again). You cannot tilt you PC/lappie, can you??! CAN YOU?? If u wanna see the fellow clearly, u can only rotate the pic, and if u do that in photoshop u will get white corners around the bloody pic, spoiling the whole picture! I HATE PEOPLE WHO TAKE PHOTOS TILTED. I smack everyone who DARES to tilt my cybershot.

I absolutely ABHOR people who are attached and claim that they are "married" in friendster. If u are one such person, let me remind u... YOU ARE STILL CONSIDERED A SINGLE IN THE EYES OF LAW. You may argue its none of my business, but let me tell you, it is none your business whether I make the issue my business or not.

Anyway, back to my cynical point. If you are a person guilty of doing that, please change ur status back to "in a relationship". You do not know for a sure thing whether your partner if even WILLING to marry you or not, how can you say u are married? Your partner may say he/she is willing now, but when it boils down to the real facts, like fucking only u for the rest of his miserable life, he will most possibly change his mind and say he is not ready for such commitment.

He might even be fucking behind your back, and here u are, stupidly telling everyone u and him are "married" (while his mistress sniggers away reading). When he ditches you, I WILL LAUGH THE LOUDEST WHEN YOU CHANGE THE STATUS TO "SINGLE" (What, not "divorced"? So fast break ah, I thought u guys stable until gonna get married??).

I cannot stand people who give mushy testimonials to their partners in friendster. No one is asking me to read, I know... But I get goosebumps when I accidentally read one before realising what I am doing. Ok, I admit I am jealous... JUST A LITTLE BIT. But not for the previous point.

I love cheap thrills.

Nothing beats smacking a mosquito to death.

And then I like filling up my facial blotter to the max and using it to scare people.

I am an artist, but I do not enjoy drawing at all. I just like the praises that come after I finish artwork.

No one can beat me at Bejeweled! My highest score is 128,000 and no living human can beat that. If you can, you don't have a life.

Suddenly, I decided I am lazy to continue the list, although there is much more to write, coz I just wrote a long email trying to convince a guy to break off with his gf who is studying in Australia.

I shall copy it here for the benefit of the people here who have partners studying in Australia.

Here it is:

"Haha... Australia is TERRIBLE! In my very blatant opinion, it is time to ditch Andrea... Let me explain.

Aussies have nothing to do after 9pm so they have sex. And then Andrea has nothing to do after 9pm, and then calling u is expensive, so she might start to feel a wee bit lonely.

And then her friends would convince her that she should try fcuking an Angmoh because supposedly they have huge dicks.

"Oh C'mon Andrea! Its just ONE! (*Insert angmoh name*) is so CUTE! And he is Soooo into you! Just ask him over to your room tonight! I heard he is REAL good!"

And then Andrea, despite feeling terribly guilty, decided to try just... one... angmoh. After all she has satisfied all her craving for jappie takeshi look-alikes (My guy looks a little like the said actor)and its time for a change.

Nope, I'm not saying u shld ditch Andrea because she had sex with an angmoh. I'm getting to my point.

ONE IN THREE AUSTRALIANS HAVE HERPES.

And being the selfish twits Australians are (look how expensive kangaroo skin is, despite them being quite plentiful), they want to spread herpes to the rest of the world so that they would not alone be exterminated. The condom Andrea and (*insert angmoh name*) use, will have a hole in it.

1 out of 3, you are thinking... So its a 66.6% chance that you should not break with her, you calculate. WRONG. Don't take chances coz HERPES CANNOT BE CURED. Its a lifetime disease.

Still not convinced? Heres another theory. Look, if you are about to fuck only ONE angmoh in your life, you would make damn sure it is gonna be a smashing experience. A smashing experience, is only gonna come true with good looking people.

Good looking people get a lot of sex. Lets call them category "A" people.

And then lets take 3 average groups of people. "A" is the good-looking sex people. "B" would be your average nerd. "C" are old people.

Now, which group, out of the 3, is likely to the ones having herpes?

You are getting my point, amidst slowly.

My point is Andrea is possibly on her way to see a doctor about her condition now.

I see you are not panicking yet. You are thinking, even if this really happens, you and her relationship is not one of only physical satisfaction. Afterall she has been your soulmate for 5 long years.

You can do without sex with her, until she gets a sex check up.

Now the problem is she will not go get a sex check up just like that. People just DO NOT go for check ups like everyday.

If you ask her to go for a check up, there could be two possiblities.

1) She breaks down, cries, and tells you she has herpes and will you please forgive her for her infidelity while you twitch in horror of her paws on you.

2) She did not fuck any angmoh (actually she did but did not get herpes coz she was the one bringing the condom), and gets very very insulted that you do not trust her after the 5 years of the relationship, and breaks with you anyway.

You are traumatizied already.

You are thinking u would just abstrain from sex with her.

Whats the point of the relationship then?!

In conclusion, break with Andrea after her exams."

Names have been changed to protect the Herpes-infected.
*****

Here are the pictures for the Zouk Halloween party as I promised!

Leave comments please? :D
*****

I got a poll that I want everyone to do properly. Its the same as the one on the guestbook and I am really interested to know the poll results (so do all of you) and so please please do it correctly?

I thought of the question (and answers) myself. Although it sounds a bit pervertic, but I think it is quite interesting coz the answers are really varied.

Ok here is goes:

Imagine this situation. YOU ARE A MALE.

Saddam Hussein appears one day in your life and abducted the person you love the most in the whole wide world. (This person cannot be a supreme being please.)

He calls you up, and with the voice of your loved one in the background, asks you to go to this warehouse.

When you appear, you see him holding your loved one at gunpoint. As a very sick joke, he asks you to choose one of the following to fuck. Remember u are a male, not a female.

He says, if you do not choose, he would shoot the brains out of your loved one, right before you eyes.

Please rank the following alternates to fuck, with 1 being the first choice and 6 being the last choice. RANK, not choose one, k?

1) A 5 year old girl. You do not know her. She is quite pretty.

2) A female donkey of relative cleanliness.

3) Your father's best friend. He is male, aged 55 and is not good looking and quite balding.

4) Gisele Bundchen. Or any supermodel of your choice. Very very beautiful, a peeeerfect body with nice boobs. There's a catch. She died 10 minutes ago of a heart attack.

5) A 75 year old granny. Not related to you. Relatively smelly. Too wrinkled to see whether she was once pretty or not, definite is not now.

6) Your own elder sister, who is 2 years older than you.


Rank!

In case you are wondering,

- No, you are not allowed to use a condom.

- Yes, you do know your father's best friend.

- No, you are NOT allowed to close your eyes while shagging.

- Yes, you can choose to fuck the donkey at its vagina or anus.

- Yes, I know the question only requires you to choose one but I want you to rank anyway.

Ok I'll start off with my answers first. Please do it properly! =)

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