2004-04-17

Here I am, at Benjamin's place, doing some blogging before proceeding to Mahjong Madness.

Alrighty I'm feeling very delighted from the cheap thrills I have been getting recently out of working at TODAY.

Speaking of TODAY, I was looking at xiaxue.blogspot.com on my work computer the other day, when my features editor Mr. David Ngiau (don't you find his name damn cute??) sneaked up on me from behind, no doubt stood there for a long moment to observe what I was doing, then proceeded to say loudly,

"AHA! What is this??", thus scaring the shit out of me.

Now thats damn despicable, sneaking up on interns like that, despite the company actually paying me while I surf silly websites. Well maybe not that silly, as you know, Its so Good, Its Almost Porn.

Slightly afraid that he would see the edited pink picture of me in what seems like a very skimpy lacy pink nightie, I used all the strength in my index finger to scroll my mouse wheel in an superfast speed down, down, down...

It didn't work.

Bending out, he continued in loud exclamation, "IS THAT YOU?"

He is boss. I watched in helplessness as he took over Ruler-Of-The-Mouse, scrolled up again, and had a look of shock as he saw his intern in well... A pink nightie. Or at least, a spag strap that looks like a pink nightie.

"IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE YOU!" he awed.

"Yeah well, edited by photoshop what! And don't give me that look k, i admit that its edited by photoshop. Don't believe hover your mouse over the picture."

"Hohum..."

To my utmost relief, he let go of the mouse. To my utmost horror, he used the keyboard to type ctrl F, and "TODAY".

So yeah. He is not interested in anything that I write, as long as I don't mention my internship company in it.

Search results showed him alot of todays - after all this is a blog right, the typically blog entry should start with "Dear diary, today I shitted" etc etc.

To confuse my editor should he ever sneak up on me and do the same stunt again, I shall type alot of "todays" in this blog entry. Do not be surprised if a TODAY comes out all of a sudden.

A friend of mine suggested TODAY that I should stop writing TODAY as TODAY but instead should, from today onwards, write TODAY as TODAE.

A pretty good idea. I think I shall do that today.

Except for this blog entry which is meant to confuse my editor, today.

TODAY
TODAY
TODAY
TODAY
TODAY
TODAY
TODAY
TODAY
TODAY
TODAY
TODAY

Alrightly. A few days ago, if you happened to have got your copy of TODAY, We would have Set You Thinking. Kidding. In actual fact, you would have seen my article on it, called Eyeing Rachel, which basically contains some interviews I had with the contestants of Eye For A Guy.

I was walking rather forlornly (recently I keep having spells of forlorn-ness, I think its excessive masterbation *kidding*), when I saw this fellow at Raffles place sitting down reading a newspaper.

Now this fellow, looks EXACTLY like the kind of guy who reads Computer Times. I was thinking to myself, "AHA! If he is reading Computer Times, I will treat myself to some Mrs Fields. If he is not, I will treat myself to some Mrs Field."

He was reading TODAY. Boy am I pleasantly surprised.

As I walked nearer to him, I realised he was not only reading TODAY, but was, in actual fact, reading MY ARTICLE.

How cool is THAT??!

Look, a guy reading my article!! I am so pleased. The fellow was not even reading as in reading and flipping it over in a bit. HE WAS SCRUTINISING IT!

My heart went a-flutter and the forlorn-ness disappeared. However, there came this naggy little voice in my head which went something like, "Hiyah you siao ah he only looking at Rachel Lee's boobies can!"

The little voice died down in a while as I sent another bigger voice to scold it with something like, "CCB SHUT UP LA, OR I WILL SLAP YOUR BLOODY FACE!" As far as I know, the owner of the bigger voice beat the little voice to a pulp as well.

As for me, I was floating on cloud ninty nine for two days. I know I know... Thousands of people read my site too, but hey! Its different when you see it in real life.

Today was I was going on today's MRT train to go to Ben's place, I saw around 3 people reading TODAY.

I suddenly had a revelation that my Tay Ping Hui article should be out on today's TODAY! And my angmoh sub-ed, if I didn't remember wrongly, mentioned something along the lines of "cover".

Suddenly I was filled with desire to get my paws on a copy of TODAY. It is a compulsive need!! A blood-thristy desire! The only problem. It is 2pm and TODAY would all be snatched up, and I wouldn't pass by an 7/11s.

I resisted my carnal urges until I was going down the escalator, and this fellow in front of me was clutching loosing on to a copy of TODAY as if he was about to use it for dog-poo purposes soon. If only he knew my needs! I lightly contemplated just snatching it and running away, but I realised I was on a escalator, plus he was with his pregnant wife, not good to let her worry as her husband chases after me in pursue of a precious daily.

So I asked, "Hi, I was just wondering if... you are done with your copy of Today, can I have it?"

He looked at his wife, and actually said, "Hmm.... I'm not done with it actually..."

"Oh," I said, at a loss for words that someone who possibly got this valuable piece of newspaper at around 9 in the morning is 'not done with it'. "Oh you see.. Coz, erm, my friend is featured inside and I really wanna read it... and I can't get another copy.."

In case you are thinking that "my friend" is referring to myself, you are wrong. I am referring, shamelessly, to Tay Ping Hui. Yes, he has not replied my email YET (please note the yet), but I DON'T CARE.

Back to our story, the man give a look of reluctance to his wife (or maybe fuck buddy, you would never know nowadays), and said, "Oh well ok you can have it."

I felt triumpant. I felt like I just won the Korean War. Its damn cool, someone reluctant to give me the paper which I wrote (rather, typed) for! How cool is that??! It MUST be my Tay Ping Hui article working its magic! I'm so elated! Oh dammit I must be a good journalist! I am filled with motivation to do my best for the world of journalism!

Sad news is, my article is not on the cover. Good news is, WHO CARES? It's still on the first page of +PLUS (features section, like LIFE in ST), and as long as I get to write, I don't care what kinda article it is, as long as it is published!

Back to Mahjong and more blogging tonight, if I feel like it.

Love ya all!

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