I have been getting a lot of emails like this:
Xiaxue xiaxue! Your hair is nice, how did you do it? Teach me how to make it all curly wurly!!
How do I do it indeed. Whenever I receive mails like this, I feel like asking the girls to go read the archives and quit bothering me (I mentioned how I curl them before) but I realised that MY FUCKING PHOTOS ARE ALL DELETED BY BLOODY IMAGESTATION so I have to explain myself all over.
Which is pissing because it is not text-explainable.
So I always ignore these emails.
Speaking of ignoring emails, that day I was about to click this mail away (being the big bad bitch I am) but the final sentence said something like this: "Xiaxue ____(insert praise) and Posh can go to hell!"
Now that's one SMART blogder reader. I replied immediately to that mail with renewed relish.
Here's one email I received:
hello. i emailed you once before regarding uh, hair curls. i finally figured out how to use a hair curler, but my hair ends up looking like dried grass, plus it doesn't hold. i was wondering if you could recommend a good brand of
hairspray? i don't know anyone that uses a hair curler, so i'm asking you since you seem to have curly hair on some days and straight on others. help!
uh, and don't copy and paste my email onto your blog can? im very scared. i just want to have curly hair thats all, i don't want to be embarrassed.
MUA HA HA HHA HA HA HA HA HHA HA HA HA HHA HA HA HA HA HHA HA HA HHA HA HA HHA HA HA HA HA!!! This email is so fucking funny!!! Why on earth would I publish that email and try to embarrass a good-natured blog reader?? I am not THAT evil lor! (Yes I just contradicted myself, shut up)
I copied this out anonymously, so I don't think its mean right?
I'm still laughing. Ha ha. Scared of good old me.
In any case, I shall be mean no longer and share with you girls how I manage to get such beautiful curls!
You are so gonna LOOOVE me. It works wonders!
Pre-requisite: Your hair must not be too limp or smooth, or it wouldn't work.
Shock factor for you if you have not been reading my blog since it's humble beginnings: MY HAIR IS REBONDED.
1) Wash hair. Wait for it to thoroughly dry, then separate it into half as shown.
2) Twirl hair and twist it into a bun. Circling the ends around the bun, put a scrunchie over it.
And yes, your scrunchies do not need to be of matching colours.
3) Sleep with the buns. It may feel a tad uncomfortable, but you will get used to it.
4) Apply olive oil on hair to make it shine!
The end results
Let me prance around showing how nice my hair is!!
(Note: The photos are VERY photoshopped! Shuyin, after seeing the original photos, said that I qi pian quan shi jie (lied to the whole world) ha ha.)
I look like a slut.
Great hair - all yours, courtesy of Xiaxue.
Tell me if it works.
"Xiaxue xiaxue, your PSLE is so high! How did you do it?"
I slept with my teacher. Kidding. Pure intelligence.
"Who cares about PSLE??!"
Can YOU get four A*??! Huh? Eh eh? Can you?
"Oh fuck. Twice a day. He is coming over again. I have the worst job in the world!" lamented the toothbrush.
"Shut up," said the toilet paper.