2004-05-04

SASSER VICTIMS LISTEN UP!

I've been getting tons of emails from all of you on how to get rid of sasser.

Now, understand please. I am but a weak recovering victim of the virus and I don't know how my doctor (Dr. Darius) managed to combat it although I helped in some clicking and rebooting.

In any case, if you got the virus, fuck off and stop bothering me, its your own business.

KIDDING.

Of course I'd help. Here are some instructions, courtesy of the aforementioned wonderful and generous Darius.

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1) Download Stinger.exe from http://vil.nai.com/vil/stinger/

2) Run the program

3) Update your anti-virus program and do a system scan.

If you don't have one, u can download Avast!'s home version. Please note. Avast! is with the exclamation mark, so pronounce it as you would Kung! bushmen.

Let me praise Avast! (note the enthusiasm because of the '!'). Not only does it allow u to change skins for a stupid virus software, it is FREE, and updates by itself.

The cool thing is, it has this sexy female voice warning u when u have a virus, complete with a radar sign spinning, as if your computer is important to them.

While it may not be funny (or remotely sexy) to hear that voice, the screen automatically tells you what to do as if all of its clients are tech-idiot paranoid females.

It starts off by saying something like "Avast! (note the !) has detected a virus on your computer.However, there is no reason to panic.Your best friend Avast! will do all ur shitwork for you." Actually it doesn't say that, but it's something along the lines. I almost wish I got another virus to witness that again. No, ok, not really.

Avast! will help u to rid get of the virus completely when u do a scan. BTW, I think Avast!'s spinning blue logo is relatively cute. Would be perfect if Avast! develops a pink skin as well.

4) Activate the firewall by going to Start-> Control Panel -> Network connections. Right click on the connection you are using and go to properties. Click on the advance tab and tick the firewall option.

5) Update your windows using the window update command. If your windows CD is chionged thus u cannot update.... Congratulations, and celebrations!! I don't have the software to send u, I suggest u kill urself or u format ur PC - and don't stupidly use back the same CD.

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In any case if you did not manage to get your com connected to the internet or something (then I have no idea how you managed to get into my blog site, and if you only managed to get into one site its my site I do feel pretty honoured about it, but never mind that), you must go to task manager and stop the process avserve.exe or avserve2.exe first.

Accursed virus. You will kill it with perseverance!!! I wish you... Best of LUCK.

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