2004-10-17

Hey you there! CAN YOU PLEASE CLEAN YOUR SMEGMA?

Ha! A loser weekend! Can you believe I spent Saturday at home? Oh yes I did.

On a happier note, let's all gloat at Eileen! She kanna chicken pox! More loser than me!

Where got people so old kanna chicken pox one?! The chic thing to do will be to kanna during primary school. Just like the Loser Cough*, chicken pox is no longer fashionable when you are 22.

MUAHAHAHAHHAHAA! She act tough lah! Her boyfriend kanna pox then she go visit him and kanna also.




QUESTION:
WHY DID EILEEN CROSS THE ROAD?




QUESTION:
DID EILEEN COME FIRST, OR THE EGG?







I am a GOOD FWIEND! I will go visit Eileen with a basket of fruits when I have the time (oh yes I have lots of time), and ask her to answer the questions herself! Muahahahhahaha!



Anyway.

Today I learnt a new word which you can use to insult people.

It is SMEGMA!

According to dictionary.com, Smegma is described as ...


A sebaceous (of, relating to, or resembling fat or sebum; fatty) secretion, especially the cheesy secretion that collects under the
prepuce or around the clitoris.



OMG I AM SO AMUSED!


The guys are dictionary.com are DISGUSTING!

How did they know it is CHEESY?

Did they taste it?

They possibly did.


I'll let you chew on that thought for a while.






Ok.

Let me teach you how to insult people with smegma (double meaning intended)!


Irritant: Hey there Jeannie. You look ... kinda fat today.

You: Oh, what's that smell? SMEGMA! It's smegma. Can you please be more hygienic?

Irritant: Huh?

You: Speak to my hand. I don't talk to squadid smegmaians like yourself. *pinch nose*

Irritant: What's smegma?

You: You. You are a walking piece of cheesy, mucky smegma.

Irritant: ...?



*



Random person: Xiaxue, your blogs are getting less interesting. Please stop blogging and try to find a job!

Me: Go and play with the crusty smegma under your foreskin and stop bothering me, loser.



*



Random person: Xiaxue, you suck and my girlfriend is much hotter than you.

Me: Ewww! Is that smegma secreting out of the pores of your face, or is that the work of particularly-infected pus-filled power-pimples?

Random person: I don't have pus infected zits, crazy bitch.

Me: SO IT IS SMEGMA! YUCK!



*



Random person: Xiaxue your friend June is much prettier than you and therefore you should die.

Me: Would you rather eat smegma or suck on a used pad?

Random person: Eh, eh ... I don't know ... Eat smegma I guess.

Me: I KNEW IT! You are disgusting!




And it can go on and on so I shall stop here. WHAHAHAHA!

Tomorrow I am meeting Wong the Lawyer because she asked me to act as a witness for one of her law modules. My name will be Jita Ong Pian Ren and I am getting sued. So fun. I think I will ask the cross examiner if that is smegma I am smelling. Wong said I can abuse the opponent's lawyer.

Ta ta everyone! I shall go sleep now. =)



*The Loser-Cough (saying the word "loser" in between fake coughs), according to Shianux, is soooooo pre-primary. Please note the blonde tone used to say that statement.


p/s: Filipino Aina's blog has been locked up with a password - which is as good as being closed down. Thanks to you guys, ha ha! Pretty distructive huh? =) Thanks for the support. Man, I hate plagiarism.

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