2004-12-29

On Hiatus

Relax relax! For 3 days only! Will be gone by 8.05am for flight to Hong Kong (and Shen Zhen)! Yay! Happy happy day!

Be back by 31th a very shopped person! =)

Pictures, and updates, soon.

Adieus,
Gleeful Xiaxue

Pssh: Bored? Go read the archives or something. :D

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2004-12-27

Nice?

I like it. =) Love those boots. (Borrowed from Eileen a million years ago and never returned.)

Updated: OMG I learnt CSS in one freaking day! I spent, like, the entire day tweaking this stupid site. Around 2 hours were spend trying to get rid of a 2px space between the round top borders and the actual rectangular tables. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY the freaking margin refuses to go away. In the end I cheated by having a repetitive Grey-with-white-sides strip as background of the whole table. Sigh...

Can you Mozilla users see this properly? Besides the marquee of course, which I like too much to dispense with.

P/s: I am so pleased with the site's new look! =)

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2004-12-26

Sheeshhhhhh

I am typing this really slowly because Eileen is napping on the couch in my room and my louya keyboard is very noisy and I cannot wake her up because I sneakily took a photo of her and I intend to post it up so GAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! She moves!

Ok ok change position only ....

As I was slowing saying before she rudely interrupted me, I intend to post her photo and when she wakes up I will tell her I blogged and she'd open my site and wahhahaha see herself sleeping on my couch!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EILEEN I LOVE YOU!!!


This woman's thighs are slimmer than my neck.
How does she walk?
Without her top toppling over?
But then again my delicate neck is balancing such an enormous brain too.** Hmmm.


I am so boh liao. Ok ok, don't tell Eileen ah. I go hide the Bailey's.**

**Refer to previous entry.

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2004-12-25

I Not Stupid! I "Intellegent"!


Click to Enlarge


Erm ...

I Am Very Hurt.


.
.
.
.
.
.
.



But... But ... Did someone just say I am stupid?

No, really ...

Am I really dumb?

I beg to differ.



To all those people who said I will never get into Mensa ... Well, screw you (Especially the very fugly NUS law kid who so determindedly predicted so. Who's the smartass now, huh?).

Uh uh! Unless you have taken the test and passed it, you cannot say "Big deal!", simply because it is quite a big deal to be have intellect at the top 2% of the general populace; if you have taken the test and "passed" it, well, I'm on par with you.

Jolly good Xmas present Mensa! Thanks! =)

Well well well. Top 2%? IQ 148 and above? This must be the biggest achievement in my life! The second biggest is that my PSLE is 269, and that's only top 3%! My gosh!

More hao lianing later, Eileen is coming over to my place. She said to stay over and watch DVDs but I know her. She doesn't really like my company. She is just hankering over my 1 litre bottle of Bailey's. Tsk tsk. Shall let it pass.

- My IQ is so staggeringly high, I startle myself sometimes.-

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2004-12-23

Happy happy holidays!

Today is a great day to be unemployed! It's the eve of the eve of Christmas!

Wanyi is leaving for Hong Kong later, and I armed her with all my sizes (36DD, small, shoe US 5) so that she has no excuse but to get Hongkie gifts for me whahahhaa!

Meanwhile, June just came back from Japan (Japanese June?), and all she got for me was "A nice Qoo can to add to your collection" because "everything else is ridiculously priced". Unfortunately, while she was gone my "Qoo Collection" of 3 miniature Qoo cans discoloured and I have dumped them away.

I think I will drink up the Japanese Qoo, or risk it being very lonesome.

YIKES!

Was blogging happily when Smelly (brother) suddenly knocked on the house door with absurd vigour.

Yikes!! He just brought home an army of smelly friends to invade my house!


One more at the computer.

Horrible to have smelly young brother. Oh dear, I think they just finished soccer too. =(

Shall escape the smelly kids (actually they are not really smelly) by moving out of the house! Shall meet the last few single people in this world, Wong and Shengrong! For KTV, no less.

Meanwhile, I don't think I have concrete plans for tomorrow, and I hate everyone else who is attached.

Ciao! And Merry Christmas eve's eve!

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2004-12-22

TAMADE

BAH! Had enough. Last straw. Was reading some stupid pretty girl's blog and she is model, has fantastic boyfriend, and has pictures of both on yacht ALA CREDIT CARD ADS.

Complete with white bikini and flapping hair in sea breeze.

Bah! Cannot stand girls who whimper on their blog how fabulous their boyfriends are. GO EAT SHIT! YES, I (JUST) AM JEALOUS!

HAO LIAN! PUI!

Tonight is one of those emotional nights I shall go through. I shall do self-examination to find out what is wrong with me. CERTAINLY there is something very wrong. Why on said girl's blog does absolutely-cute boyfriend seem to be meeting her everyday for the past 7 years or so?

I mean, her neh nehs are quite big lah, but still? Big neh neh then must everyday meet meh?

Buay sian meh, everyday meet her? Meet me lah!

In contrast, the last semi-serious/dating relationship I had (last than 2 weeks ago), the guy wanted to meet me around once a freaking week. ONCE A FREAKING WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot believe it. Even if he wanted to meet me just for sex, surely the average man's sex drive is more than once a freaking week?

In the two months we have been dating, we meet so little that I cannot even remember now what kinda parting his hair has.

I was sitting with him in a coffeeshop once, and pondering to myself, that if I should ever marry this man, what will happen during our wedding?

This thought led to my banqueting days, when I saw so many couples getting hitched. Without fail for most young couples, their friends would play games with them, like asking the groom what is the bride's favourite colour, and forfeits if the groom cannot get it right.

I frowned as my thoughts moved to the fact that he wouldn't be able to get that question right if he were asked (never bothered to find out I think, though pink is obvious answer), and then just when I was about to tell him, "You don't know my favourite colour!" I imagined him replying, "Neither do you know mine!" and stopped myself.

I decided to not be self-centred, and asked, "What is your favourite colour?".

This ended up in a semi-heated discussion on favourite colours. How can people argue about favourite colours, you ask. Indeed! His stand is that he doesn't know his favourite colour.

So I said, "Decide on one lor. Amazing that you don't already have one. Where got people don't have favourite colour one??"

He replied that he really doesn't know (note: Not doesn't HAVE). He said he might have one, but if I were to ask him to decide now, then it is a hassle to make up his mind, not unlike the kinda vexations people get by solving complex differentiation (yes, know how to spell now) problems while having a splitting headache.

When I argued that one MUST have a colour that one generally prefers, he said that he does not, i.e. he prefers red on Ferraris and white on Mercs; therefore he does not have an answer for me.

Then I said that that would mean he doesn't have one, and therefore, when I asked, he should have just answered that directly.

He retorted that he MIGHT have one, but he doesn't have to go through the trouble of making up his mind.

He also added that men in general do not think about such juvenile things, and only women delve on such crazy matters (or just me), and asking him to decide on a favourite colour would cause him a headache (and he was already tired; coincidentally every time he was out with me he is anyway), so can I please just stop my nonsense.

I argued that it is TOTALLY NOT TRUE that (most, if not all) men do not have favourite colours.

At this precise point of time, an ex-classmate of mine walked past. I said hi to him, attracted his attention, and motioned him over.

"Yixun, what is your favourite colour?"
"Blue."
Aha.

I cannot remember what happened after that, but I never found out his favourite colour, neither did he bother to ask about mine.

I also remember this once, we were in his car, and I asked about his ex. Typically, ex was with him for many years, and despite his violent denying, I insist she must be a shu nu.

Below is proof.

Excerpt:

"Is she talkative like me?"
"Quiet quiet one lah."
"Yikes. Then so sian."

Silence.

I think about the times he and I laughed together at the jokes we made.

"Do you and her even laugh?"
"Yes, always. I always make her laugh."

Fucking insensitive thing to say (because it seems to hint that he doesn't enjoy times with me more than with her), but I shall let it pass.

The catch is the "make her laugh" part. SHU NU LAH! Passive girls who sit back and giggle. Fuckanathan. Men. They like this kind lah! Doesn't anyone appreciate a girl nowadays who can catch a joke, laugh at it, and then manage to bounce it back to the man for another laugh? Any takers? No?

THEN SCREW EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It sucks to have a sense of humour!!!!!!!!

I hate to not be a shu nu!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TRANSFORM TRANSFORM!!! Kan wo qi shi er bian! Fail.

Hmmm. Shall convince self he is into animals and such.

So having said that, that relationship obviously failed because I do not even feel he likes me. Even if he does, it is slightly more than he loves good weather - not enough.

Why ah, why???????? WO SHI MEI NU LEH! Ok ok seriously. Can someone tell me what is wrong with me? Why can't I seem to get decent guys? Guys whom I also like back? Is it because I have the power to put up their photos and claim their penis is small whenever I get angry?

I wouldn't what! See, I left said colour-neutral ex anonymous!

I want someone with intelligence and a sense of humour. Also aesthetics cannot be that bad lah. Very tough meh??!

I had decided.

It's time.

I shall open my options to the vast internet world.

Please feel free to bid for being my one true love here.

Thank you.

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2004-12-21

Warning: Super long entry: 2,000+ words.

I was just wondering to myself the other day ...

Why, when visitors come to my house, they always address Mr. Cloudy (my dog) in English?

How would they know that Cloudy is an angmoh dog?

Yeah I know he is white and whatever, but why do people speak to dogs in English baby talk?

If you ask me, Cloudy is a tu sheng tu zhang de (homegrown) SINGAPORE DOG. Go on, speak to him in Singlish, he understands. For instance, when he stands on his hindlegs to look at us eating and scratching my beautiful leg in the process, my brother and I will shout at him,


"Oei, you siao ah?


And he will quietly and politely reside to some distance from dinner table where he will wag his tail benignly while utilising his puppy eyes to great power and hope we throw a piece of chicken bone to him.

Being the vindictive siblings my brothers and I are, we usually compete who can make Cloudy angrier - i.e. by eating our food with ridiculous relish and wafting the delicious smells towards his nose.

We did that till one day, Cloudy got angry and kicked my brother in the balls, so nowadays he is invited to the dinner table as a guest.

I was also wondering to myself, if I gave you a piece of Broccoli, would you speak to it in English? You possibly would, thinking the Broccoli is an angmoh veggie.

*scoff* You generalizing piece of shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, if I gave you a piece of Kai Lan, would you speak to it in Mandarin? You possibly would, just because the Kai lan has a Chinese name right? You think the Kai Lan cannot speak English.

Well I have a PIECE OF NEWS FOR YOU! The broccoli and the kai lan is the same plant!



"I speak English!" screams the indignant Kai Lan.


Have a look! The beady things in the middle is the prepubescent broccoli. There, another useless piece of information for you, courtesy of Xiaxue!

I SHALL DIGRESS!

I discovered a few questions I don't like answering, but suay suay will get all the time:

"What hobbies do you have, Wendy?"

Have hobbies do I have? Many! Woodworking! Pruning bonsai! Embroidery! Keeping pen-pals!

Actually, none whatsoever. I do not acutely like anything at all; not enough to call anything a "hobby" or "interest". I.e I like shopping. But who doesn't like shopping? People who don't like shopping haven't been shopping at the right places. Everyone loves shopping. I also like blogging; and so do the rest of the world with an internet connection. What the? Why would people (and *gasp* even future bosses) ask such a silly question?

I think I might be a little weird in thinking this, but I find that the question of what hobbies I have is a slightly embarrassing one, akin to asking me whether I still wet my bed (answer is no by the way).

Maybe, I am missing out on life. Surely I am? I can imagine people, the same people who actively participate in school sports (the "super-on" people) without the least bit of embarrassment in acting so over-zealous, answer with relish that their hobbies includes all seasports from sea-shell collecting to nude beach volleyball (*yawn).

The same people who would enjoy roller coaster rides and possibly visit third world countries so that they can fully live the life that they "only live once".

The indignant athlete would possibly be frowning and asking me what a boring girl like moi find pleasurable in life.

Normal things lah! Boring, boring things. Like talking to my friends and cracking jokes that we can laugh about, watching movies, ktv-ing, mahjonging, solving puzzles (stuck at level 22, can someone please help??), reading, collecting stamps (kidding) etc.

OMG I AM A GEEK!

I bungee-jumped once and it was horrible. I don't understand why people do it. I did it because I saw a bungee jumper on TV when I was nine, and I hao-lianed to my dad that I bet I can do it.

When I was 13, Dad and I passed a bungee jumping place in Batam and there was no escape. With a smirk, I was lifted up 15 stories on a damn crane. I was still smirking, until I realized that the thing separating me from the very far, and hard, ground below was a thin sheet of metal.

My knees buckled and I chickened out. I refused to jump. You may laugh, but it is not funny when you are up there.

I was about to tell the instructor that he can keep my $50, and thanks for the nice view and the trouble of tying me up and all, but I think I shall politely refuse. NO WAY! I AM 13 and A SAP SCHOOL STUDENT! My bright future ahead of me!

The instructor, oblivious to my very pale face, was telling me pleasantly, as if bungee jumping is a very pleasant normal daytrip to the zoo, how to jump. I was to do a free-fall, i.e spread my arms and go off with my head moving downwards first, in an arc. In other words, gracefully, like all the other jumpers do.

I looked down at my miniscule parents squinting up proudly at their young daughter. Mom armed with camera.

I told the instructor I didn't want to jump, and he nicely told me it is nothing to be scared of.

I insisted. He shouted, and threatened to push me off. At least that's what I remembered. Maybe he didn't do that.

But anyway, I finally closed my eyes. I COULDN'T, plain couldn't, do the freefall thingy, so I just held my breath and jumped, feet first.

It was HORRIBLE. I was screaming all the way down, "I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm so gonna die, omg I am going to hell I am falling!!!" and then I bounced up again. My heart hit the ground below and never recovered.

As if it is not bad enough to fall down from 15 stories, my elastic rope was in a massive twist, because of the way I jumped.

The photos turned out with me in a series of twisted embarrassments. Bah. To add oil to the fire my stomach muscles were pulled, and I couldn't do sit-ups for a week.

Which also reminds me. I was in Australia with my parents, and after a long drive, we reached this place with simply breathtaking beautiful yellow sunflowers which filled up a humongous field that stretched to the horizon. The accompanying sky was velvet blue.

Now another thing I don't understand. The perfect picture in front of me looked like a postcard. And that's what its value is. A damn postcard. I don't understand what's so great about beautiful scenery. You cannot eat it. You cannot touch it. You cannot even feeeel it. It's just visuals. Surely if u blow up the postcard to the appropriate size you get as much satisfaction looking at it as looking at the real thing? If you ask me, I prefer getting an orgasm or eating great food; the tongue and skin are more powerful organs for me.

I was pretty overwhelmed by the vastness of the field, and acting like the 9-yr-old kid I was then, I gambolled into the field (complete with red mittens) and skipped around the golden field. Promptly after, I remembered I was car-sick, and puked into the damn sunflowers.

Not a pretty picture, sunflowers drenched in puke.

Also do not understand the thrill crazy people get from roller coasters. Very fun meh, to have your butt get lifted off the seat and your heart left behind? I hate it. Hongkong's Ocean Park has cameras installed at junctures of the ride, and they try to sell the photos to tourists.

The Ocean Park staff showed me a photo of me on the ride, and it contained a laughing Sheng Rong beside me, and other people actually having the time to do mad things like wink, raise their arms, knit, or fold complicated origami while posing for the photo. Unfortunately, I was clutching the side of the ride, nostrils flaring, eyes popping, and lips flapping unceremoniously.

I looked like I have just seen Hades himself. No amount of photoshop can save that classic picture.

The guy still tried to ask me to buy. I almost whacked him with a mace.

Whenever people ask me what my hobbies are in future, I'd answer, "Setting fire to random old people's clothes."

Which reminds me of the next question:

"Where do you usually hang out? "

Eh, Singapore? Hang where? I don't hang. Are there actually people with an answer for this? What, Cineleisure? East Coast? My gynae's?

My future answer for this question would be, "CDC."

"Why are you so short?"

How the fuck would I know? Freaking insensitive bastards. I curse you, may you parachute into the world's prickiest cactus!

Ok, this brings us back to the topic of Cloudy.

Dogs.



Another thing I don't understand what people are so crazy about.


Why are some people so crazy over all dogs? Mere animals. Brains hardly more impressive than the average retard. THEY ARE BUT DOGS! I can understand that some dogs are very cute and all, but not ALL dogs are right? Then why are some people so crazy over dogs?

Actors and actresses and especially mad over dogs. I don't understand them. Is it because it is very lonely to be acting, and therefore dogs are trusty pals? Is it because everyone in the media world are cunning and unscrupulous, therefore dogs are in contrast innocuous and nice?

Mad. Certain artiste, whom I shall not name, went mad over a dog and interestingly was all snobbish around the humans present.

Excuse me Miss/Mr Uppity, but what makes the dog more worthy to talk to you than the average human being? So you are an acting extraodinaire, in a different class from the peasants around you, but the same class as that dog (not even a poodle/chihuahua. A normal dog)? Makes sense.

Dogs are just animals. I don't see people going crazy over cockroaches, so why should they over dogs (cuteness is subjective)? URGH! Very angry. STOP IT YOU DISGUSTING FOOLS! Stop pretending to be a dog lover! You are just trying to act rich and kind I don't know what and I think I am rattling on uuuuuurgh. You know the kinda image of a typical dog lover? Benevolent and wealthy? I think people want to achieve that kinda image when they act like goddamn animal lovers.

[I accept that there are sincere dog-lovers, i.e. the King of Thailand with 100+ stray dogs in his palace, but I refuse to believe that ALL actors and actresses are genuine dog-lovers.]

I don't like it when people come to my place and act so friendly with Cloudy, just because he is a dog. I mean, c'mon. What makes you think Cloudy likes you? Cloudy is only friendly because he thinks you might have food for him!

When I told Wanyi about my opinion of people who pretend to be avid dog lovers, she said, "But you don't love Cloudy meh?"

Of course I do, but with reasons to. He is MY dog. I have no qualms about people loving their own pets, but why act like ALL dogs are supreme creatures of the world?

I don't think anyone will understand what I am ranting about, so let's move on.

Several announcements to make!! Clink clink clink!!




Very gleeful! Am on today's issue of Digital Life! Wish ST would stop using that series of fat photos I took for Newpaper so darn long ago though. I look horrific.

Can read more from the media center.

Also also! I shall now announce that I am a MAXIM columnist! Mrbrown! I am now a columnist too (albeit on man-magazine)! *Break down in grateful tears* Never knew blogging had so much good in it.

So do buy this month's Maxim! Yay!

*****************************

Photos from 19th's outing with Media & Comm coursemates, as if this entry isn't long enough as it is.



Clara and I outside pasta place we ate at.


When my pasta arrived, I was shocked to realise that the ITALIAN pasta had CHINESE styled garnishing on it: Green spring onions and fried brown onion bits. Avid readers would know I hate all garnishings, and onions are definitely among top 5. While I shrieked, "WHY WOULD PEOPLE PUT CHINESE GARNISHES ON ITALIAN FOOD?!", Ivan, Clara's boyfriend, pointed to the "Contemporary" stated on the signboard.

My bad.

Meanwhile, more bad news. Slightly more significant than Chinese onions on pasta is Clara's leaving for Australia to study soon.

My heat wepts for poor Ivan, who has been accustomed to Clara's constant existance for almost 6 years (give and take - since sec 2 or something). Very saddening. I will miss you Clara!! WO AI NI!! QING NI YAO DUO BAO ZHONG!





That's Ben with my kickass sunglasses (Chinatown, $12). Doesn't he look like a star? Hmmm ... Possibly not. So anyway, NS is horrible. Ben, who was once aptly described as "flabby", has gone from 65kg or so to his current 23kg or something.

I miss his baby fats.

Look at how slim his ass is, as compared to mine!




I told him skinny asses makes him look faggoty. Anyway yes, you can sort of gauge my height from there. Ben is around 1.8 (with Nikes) I think.

Hmmm. Realised there seems to be glowing antenna on top of Ben's head.




Ben's ass with Clara's. Since Clara and I both wear size 25, Ben must be a size 23.



Clara and Ben
(The vain Ben with a different pair of shades this time.)


Clara, me and Tiff (I look like slut)


The girls: Eva, Tiff, me, and Clara.
Rachel is covered with a pink beveled giant exclamation mark because she requested for pic not to be shown in said site.


Group shot. Ivan hugging Clara, and guy beside Ivan is Eric!


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One more thing!

It's true. I shall admit it. My link picture SUCKS. I look damn grouchy in it.

So, I did two more link pictures for you guys to choose from!




Copy the following:

<a href="http://xiaxue.blogspot.com" target="_new"><img src="http://xiaxue.chestertan.com/xiaxue/bitching.jpg"></a>

OR




<a href="http://xiaxue.blogspot.com" target="_new"><img src="http://xiaxue.chestertan.com/xiaxue/bitching2.jpg"></a>

Yay!

p/s: Yes I know Cloudy has tear-stains. ENOUGH ALREADY FROM YOU DUMBASS DOG LOVERS. Cloudy doesn't seem to mind the stains, so you shouldn't either. Shut up.

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2004-12-18

Baaaaah!

Can you believe it? I'm sick AGAIN! This time with a horrible rasping cough and phlegm looking like little pieces of custard (custard will never be the same again, ha!) but looking ten times as concentrated yellow.

*cough* There goes another piece (solid as hell)! FUCK.

Isn't it funny how people would never eat their mucus but actually mucus comes out from the mouth as phlegm anyway?

Come to think of it if phlegm is spelt the way it sounds then surely it should be flamp?

I know I know! I shall go out now and spread my illness! Since my viruses are bent on staying in me till they are assured of their survival in somebody else, I shall help them! Yay, shall go cough in AndroAaron's or June's face!

Am going to meet my poly coursemates for a gathering at some Italian restaurant now.

I'm about to die and in case I do mati (die) before Christmas ...




Merry Christmas. =)


How morbid.

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2004-12-15

From this moment ...

Life has began ... From this moment, you are the one ... Right beside you, is where I belong ...

OK long overdue romantic blog topic: My cousin's ROM.

I've had 3 cousins I am particularly close with all my life - they are Jocelyn & Michelle (sisters; 21 and 18) and Cally (age secret now as is married woman). I don't know if it is my Grandpa's good genes (which unfortunately I didn't inherit), but my cousins all turned out pretty gorgeous, and I had an unfortunate childhood having to play with such damsels and wilt in dark contrast.

So anyway, having said that they are all lookers, it is no doubt that all of them will get hitched one day by the best of the multitude of suitors. Gaah! But I never thought it would be so soon!

When Momo (Mum that is) announced that Cally is getting married, I had this queasy feeling in me. I mean, here is the girl that I've grown up with, the scrawny (when young anyway), big-eyed Cally, MARRIED? Becoming a mother and starting a family??

Pardon me for having a dirty mind and all, but marriage IS associated with sex and I cannot imagine her having sex because I can so remember how she looks like when she is a kid. Yikes!! I'd get pass that barrier; I would.

Cally has been with her boyfriend Jerry for like a million years and naturally it is time for the deed to be done. Wahahhaha! Did I just say it like it is a bad thing? Of course it is not. Will quite see why later:



Woke up at bloody 830am to go the solemnization, with Momo hollering at me. Apparently she tried to wake me up, and I went like, "Ten minutes ten minutes", then flipped over like a dead fish, and she didn't bother about me till half an hour later - which by then we were ridiculously late and I HAD to put on make up.

NOT MY FAULT!

She woke the neighbourhood screaming that it is all my fault for being a pig, and that we are SO gonna miss Cally's ROM, which is, by the way, once in a lifetime, and do I think the person solemnizing is about to wait for me? You are ungrateful cousin, etc etc.

Yadda yadda she continued on the drive, and then guess what? She stopped to buy char siew pau on the way. -_-

Having reached Fort Canning foul moods cleared (helped by nice char siew paus) as the weather was beautiful and the love in the air simply infectious. Plus, we weren't even late. Pui! Kanna scolded for nothing.

Oh yeah, there was this bride, who is like 50 years old or something and she came in full bridal gear (complete with veil). I mean, if you are ancient and apparently out of place amongst the blooming youthful brides, please don't bring attention to yourself by wearing such clothes. It is not as if you are not experienced enough to know that no one wears wedding gowns to ROMs. -_- Oop! Mean, mean me.


Michelle, Jocelyn, Cally, Me


My bitchy cousin Jocelyn (Jo), immediately, upon spotting ancient bride, ran to my aunties and started gossiping about people. Tsk tsk. Such 3 gu 6 po behaviour.



The solemnization process was a freaking war. The room only allowed 20 people, max, to enter to witness the solemnization, and we had around 30 people; relatives, friends and all.

Naturally some people had to make sacrifices.

Momo started counting and allowing people to go in in accordance to age (aka RANK), and knn stopped short at me. Suay ge lau sai!

I screamed blue murder, and waving my camera around like a mad person, exclaimed that I AM A PHOTOGRAPHER and I AM A BLOGGER which means I am all important and plus she scolded me for nothing just now.

Momo just looked delighted that she herself can go in, and ignored me.

My cousin Jocelyn and I (Jocelyn 1 rank higher) decided that we would rush in NO MATTER WHAT FOR IT IS OUR FREAKING COUSIN'S MARRIAGE AND WE WILL NOT MISS IT.

We strategically placed our asses behind our grandfather's (Rank: 1) and trailed him into the room successfully. Hurrah!

More photos before we move into the room. ;)


Beautiful couple and Ah gong


Please don't be mistaken. Cally is marrying the man on the right, not the one in the middle.

This old man is important. Must place his photo first. The man, for without the essence of we descendants would not exist, is my Ah Gong (grandpa). Is 80+ slightly senile.

Let me digress. Sometimes I think he is faking it. For instance, Jo and I played Mahjong with him. He kept winning.

We were beginning to break down in desperate tears when Jo discovered his secret. According to her, Ah gong's turn was after hers, and he drew a tile, had a quick look at it, decided he didn't want it, and proceeded to put the tile back and chi my cousin's discarded tile.

Jo, whose voice is very loud as it is, announced Ah gong's sneakiness to the rest of the mahjong table and mumbled that no wonder he keeps winning. The rest of us laughed.

Meanwhile, hearing that my auntie and I were laughing, Ah gong looked up from his tiles and smiled indulgently at us (as if the joke is very funny), obviously not hearing a word that Jo has spoken about his cheating.

OMG I think Ah gong is hilarious.


The aunties: Momo, Jo's mom, AUNTIE (now married so is auntie) Cally, and Cally's mum


Ok I should mention Jo's mom, Auntie Lisa, who is very funny also. I cannot stand my family members.

Jo told me that her whole family except her dad had nightmares the night before. Jo dreamt that her boyfriend jumped off a building, died, and his body remained in the jumping place while his soul was at the funeral. -_-

Michelle dreamt of some science fiction thingy.

Jo then urged her mom to tell me about her nightmare, and Aunt Lisa started animatedly.

Apparently, Girl-girl was caught by a dinosaur.

When I asked her who Girl-girl is, she told me it is their family bunny. Jo further informed me that Girl-girl is actually a boy, but they had assumed he is a girl and thus the name. When they realised their mistake, they still called him Girl-girl. I think Girl-girl is a very miserable bunny, to be staying with such a crazy family.

So anyway, back to scary dream.

In my aunt's dream, Girl-girl, although in essence the same animal, had transformed into an elephant.

Now, the elephant Girl-girl was made captive by a fierce T-rex, who held on to him with sharp teeth. Girl-girl was swinging wildly in mid-air as the dinosaur is tall.

There was a crowd below the dinosaur, and all of the crowd was trying to make the giant lizard drop Girl-girl as they think it is very cruel to bite animals like that.

My aunt, who was standing amongst the panicked people, was very surprised that the people tried to make the dinosaur drop Girl-girl. She was thinking, what if Girl-girl drop on to her (being an elephant) and squash her? So she cried, "Girl-girl don't fall down!", as she is very afraid.

End of story.


Me, Jo, Michelle


Cousin Joanna, me, Jo, Michelle


Uncle Johnny with my cousins and auntie and couple



Uncle Johnny to Jo: What are you doing now?

Jo: Accounts.

Uncle Johnny: Why you don't want to be human being want to be a cow?

Jo: ...

Everyone: ...



Did I already mention my family is crazy?


Cally's mom, bride, groom, and Cally's dad.


Do notice how the women are extremely happy while the men have placid smiles.


Outside


About to go in!


Inside the solemnization room:



He puts on the ring for her ...
(Shall mention that my uncle is very happy as he works in
Larry Jewellery and ring was bought from him.)


She for him.


Cally: So relieved!



"I pronounce you, Husband and Wife."

Awwwww. I teared.



Yay!


At this point of time my cousin's friend rushed up to her and passed her a gift. She urged Cally to open it straightaway.

Inside was a white cloth book with "Our Wedding" inscripted in curly silver embossing. A cover for their wedding certificate (as seen in photo)! HOW THOUGHTFUL!

Seeing the sweetness of the bride's friend, Jo and I discussed and concluded that our friends will never be so thoughtful and nice. Therefore, we made a pact to buy each other the same gift on our wedding ROMs, so that onlookers will see us and exclaim, "Such a sweet and thoughtful cousin!"

*************



Heehee.






MUACKS!!



Yay!!!

********************




Proceeded to Goodwood Park Hotel for buffet lunch!


Table.




Kickass pasta.


Crazy Jo.


Grouchy Smelly poking food.
Smelly is always unhappy when we are with
Momo's side of the family because most of the cousins are
females and he gets very bored.


Jo was asking Cally about how Jerry proposed, and Cally said that it was just normal discussing and him saying they should get married. And they set the date.

Jo gasped that that was extremely boring and she, no doubts about it, will definitely expect her man to propose in a grand manner (ie kneeling down in front of whole Singapore with 2 carat diamond).

Cally begged to differ and said that she preferred the proposal to be private. What if she didn't want to marry? How was she to reject him in front of so many people? What if she was pressurized into saying yes?

Come to think of it it really makes sense, hor?

So anyway, we were congratulating her on her amazing catch, for Jerry is extremely sweet, mild-tempered, patient, and loves her like crazy.

While the topic diversified into marrying men for different criteria (ie wealth, looks, etc), she sighed and said that she doesn't need all those. If people were to ask her what she wanted from the marriage, she said, she would reply "Just faithfulness."

Yay! My cousin is a married woman!!

Give your blessings to the new couple? Do leave a comment! =)

p/s: Irrelevant comments (ie how fat I look) will be deleted without reasons provided.

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2004-12-14

Eggventure

I just bought a one-freaking-litre bottle of Bailey's from DFS at $27, so I just had some of the Irish concoction just now.

Less than 1 full mouthful of Bailey's on the rocks, and I confess myself drunk. I am THAT lousy. Help, I'm a redneck now! My blogders, please pardon me if I sound incoherent - I don't think I know what I am doing.

Because I've been very busy lately, I didn't have time for deep thoughts, which accounts for the lack of more 'indepth' blog entries. My *hic* apologies. Aye! Excuses. I have just been a lazy bimbo recently.

How much more stupid can Xiaxue get? sniffs the critical intellects who look down on tube-donning females, clicking their superior tongues in mock disgust. Aye! Far more! *hic* As this entry would show.

Yesterday I was hungry at night, and I decided to cook myself an egg.

Conversation with self:


"How would I like my eggs? Sunny-side-up sounds good."
"Fertilised."
"No, seriously, Wendy."
"Sunny-side-up lah, easier."
"But if fry egg must wash frying pan and frying slice."
"And use oil somemore."
"Maybe should cook half-boiled eggs."
"Yes half-boiled eggs is yummy."
"And also, can just throw away water in pot, don't need to wash."
"That is dirty!"
"Mummy doesn't need to know. Besides, egg only come out from chicken vagina. Chicken no period, so should not be very dirty."
"Yikes if not dirty then go lick the eggshell lah!"
"SIAO GOT SHIT ON THEM SOMETIMES."
"Ok settled, half-boiled eggs. No need to wash pot."


(Yes I do speak to myself in that manner.)

After deciding on half-boiled eggs, I begin bustling around with the pot and boiling the water.

Half-heartedly, while reading my novel (Emma; Jane Austen - Wong claims I am a loser coz I read Penguin Classics. I told her I bought 3 Penguin classics coz they are freaking cheap, $5 each) I took the fated egg from the fridge.

I went to the boiling pot, and determindedly cracked the egg on the side of the pot.

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-_-"


I realised that I cannot just break the egg into water, it will conjure disgustingly bland egg-soup/egg-water.

The smart thing to do is of course to crack the egg on a bowl and scramble it, but being the dumb dingbat I am, I somehow convinced myself that a cracked egg can still be cooked into a nice half-boiled egg, and tenderly lowered the egg into the water.

Thankfully, the crack on the egg was not too big.

Here is what happens:




Little wisps of egg white, not unlike Lee Kwan Yew's fluffy hair, floated around the water in a leisurely manner. White blob appears at crack.



So cute, the blob is a bubble! I poke it with green chopstick. I went to read my book and timed the egg for a five minute boil. After some time, I went back to it.



YIKES!
Foamy white substance has overtaken entire yummy egg!
Surely most of the egg has leaked out? Damn!



I poke the foamy white substance.
.
.
.

Come to think of it foamy white substance looks like my scrunchie.



Really look like.



Like candy floss!



Egg turned out ok although too well-done!
I pinch the foamy thing.
It is surprisingly springy, like sponge.
I half-thought of eating it and decided I am not brave enough.



Not a bad egg after all!

*************************************


Show you something very appetizing. Ever seen an oily crane before?

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.



My COMPLETELY soaked in oil used facial blotter. Amazing the amount of oil I have. I feel like a peanut.



TADAH!!


More blogging tomorrow when I am more sober. *hic*

p/s: THANK YOU FOR YOUR VOTES YOU TWERPS!! Muacks muacks muacks. Really, thanks, all of you who voted for me for the award. I am so happy to have won the section! =)

Updated: Irrelevant comments obviously meant to challenge me? Simple as pie: I delete. No commenting for everyone then. Have fun reading MY blog.

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