2005-01-23

The list is out!

Some time ago Eileen (Tan) told me about this imaginary list that men might have for women they have shagged. The list would consist of different types of women with different criteria - ie: Shagged twins (Both). CHECK! Shagged a virgin. CHECK! Shagged SG girl. CHECK! In da plane! CHECK! Shagged a pixie. CHECK!

This list in its totality after they have reached impotency would be THE list of their life. It doesn't matter how many degrees they have, or how big their fortunes are. God meant for men to spread their seed when they came (pun unintended) to Earth, and the list would show how accomplished they are!

And then yesterday she bombarded me again with a sexual fantasy of hers. I'd have to ask her permission before revealing it to the world. Ahem.

I want also!! Me me me! Here's my list of date-able/shaggable men! Since it sounds very slutty to say I wanna screw so many people, I shall write that I wanna only date them. Dating is defined as meeting up alone with him, whether or not he notices my existance - (ie being in lonely cinema with a solioquy of Brad Pitt showing also counted as date)

(Disclaimer below)

Please take note of the time. It is 10 freaking am. I woke up to pass something to someone, and I got this silly idea in my head and I cannot go back to sleep without blogging it out. Speaking of blogging woes, Eileen The-Alcoholic Tan was having a furious and noisy MSN debate with herself (and also a not-reading me) on whether she should drink now, or drink later. I told her, since I am not a drinker I am thankful I don't have that sort of dilemmas.

KNN she told me that she is at least better than me, everyday wake up must decide whether want to close the blog, or don't close the blog. Sarcasm? YOU BET.

So anyway, BACK TO THE DEFINITIVE LIST OF MY LIFE!!

1)Pilot. Speaking of air-crew, a friend of mine told me that he shagged an air stewardess ON THE PLANE ITSELF. If you also did, he said, you are welcome to join the Mile High Club, all puns on the "high" intended. Now, how is that possible? you ask. Apparently the airplane, at its very end, has a little compartment for the stuff to take a rest and work shifts if they are flying long flights.

He managed to convince a stewardess to bring him over to the room where they had a quickie on her bed, since it was empty in the day and the all other girls were working. The bed was described as "cramped, small and double-tiered". Hmmm. Except for the mini fact that only missionary is possible, IT SOUNDS PRETTY GOOD TO ME!

Hmmm. If Howard Hughes were still alive, I'd love to meet him at his cockpit.

Alright. Should date pilot. And perferably join the Mile High Club as a result.

Army pilot counted? Okie lah, whatever.

2) Actor/singer who is famous because of looks (whether or not he admits it).

3) Mannequin model. Who has a trail of sexy stomach hair leading to the ... erm. *blushes*

4) Doctor. Perferably with a specialty.

5) Guy with a convertible car.

6) Guy whose parents or himself owns a yacht and actually can operate it! Although it would possibly be nauseating to do anything on board ...

7) Fellow Mensan (must be good-looking).

8) Cute JC guy. Oh my gosh! I want either ACJC or RJC. Ha!

9) Lawyer. A young one I guess.

10) Is from exotic country: France, Italy, Timbuktoo. Hmmm... Spanish.

11) Famous blogger. (MR BROWN IS MARRIED WITH KIDS YOU PERVES don't even try going there. I am thinking Andrew Sullivan. Married too? Alright. MADDOX!!!) Tucker Max not counted because he is a whore.

12) Is a porn star by profession and is not Japanese or Hentai character.

13) I wanted to say firemen, but there is a fire station/civil defense thingy near Shuyin's place and the firemen (I think they are firemen) there are just plain gross. Scrap it.

13) Nuclear scientist.

14) BLONDE. A real one. With blue eyes. Tucker Max still not counted.

15) Twins.

16) Is a pirate by profession.

17) Is an elf by profession. Failing which, has extremely pointy ears, is squeaky clean and smell of flowers.

18) Owns/parents own at least five country club memberships. We can club-hop and have hot sex on golf courses!

19) Is not only a model but a nude model. Underwear model counted.

20) Enemy's boyfriend.

21) Reigning beauty king/Singapore Idol/Star Search winner.

22) Current Prestige/Singapore Tattler cover man, whichever issue it may be. (Meaning when I date him he must be on that cover)

23) Come to think of it the current Giordano model too.

24) Royalty!

25) NSA personnel.

26) A ballerina! But cannot be faggoty.

27) In Team Singapore for whatever reasons. I don't really like athletes because I can never be one, but well ... they are nicely sculpted, most anyway.

28) CEOs of listed companies. Or maybe their sons.

I can't think of anymore. I shall go sleep. Shall add to the list later I think. Or delete it.

(Disclaimer: This list is a joke. Kidding. Get it?)

p/s: I know Andrew Sullivan is gay. -_-

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