2006-02-10

Men and their stupid weirdness

Just now I was reading another, sorta private blog of mine, and I so enjoyed the entries in there.

As it is, I'm not a private sort of person, but there are some things which I just can't share with such a big public, because of the consequences I get.

I love reading my old, private blog entries, but I know these entries are the real me, and the real entries that got so many people loving my blog in the first place.

I read this particular entry written in October and felt sad knowing how careful and censored I am on this blog.

I would never have published this same article here on this blog, because if the guy I used to date read this, I am guessing he would be rather pissed - although I did keep him anonymous.

But hell guys, this is really too good to pass over. I KNOW! I totally love my "real" writing too. It's damn funny so you would love it.

I'm gonna risk it, and go ahead with posting the entry, since it's so long ago anyway. Fuck those people I will get into trouble with.


Here you go:

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What's up with MEN?!

For christ's sake. Jude Law cheated on Sienna Miller with the nanny. Sienna = hot, nanny = fugly.

Beckham cheated on Victoria with Rebecca Loo. Posh may not be too hot yes, but seriously, that Loo woman is the armpit of womanhood. Man, she's got one truck-hit face.

I'm sure there are more statistics to show that men are just crazy-assed bitches. When you have your pick of the hottest women around, what the HELL do you still want to screw someone ugly?!?!?!

I cannot get it. I know, excitement of screwing someone new and all that, but can't you at least screw someone better looking? What is the POINT of screwing some ugly chick when you are DAVID-FREAKING-BECKHAM!?!?! Isn't the challenge to screw someone better looking than Posh?

Hao ma bu chi hui tou cao!!!

For me, I find I cannot go down on quality, once I get the best. I cannot!!!

I mean, I've dated this really cute guy, and I wonder how the hell I'm supposed to ever date, or have sex with, someone uglier without imagining it's him.

Sigh .... What if he, while dating me, also imagined me to be the hottest chick he ever dated? I'll be damned - but hey, that can't happen coz I am like THE hottest. Ever. Argue and I'll track your ip address, infiltrate the Starhub/Singtel system, take a SMRT (SMRT coz their calling rates are cheapest) cab to your ghetto of a HDB flat, and kill you with a sniper ray gun before you can celebrate Halloween at Zouk this year.

I know, it's a lot of trouble for just denying I am hot --- but hey, they don't call me The Badass Bitch for nothing.

So anyway, back to the topic at hand.

So this cute guy right... all hot and everything... was dating ME. (Get this, Me = the hottest)

Whilst we were dating, he was being blog-stalked by this mediocre, teensy chick. The chick apparently adored him coz well, he was hot and everything. She was only 17; him, in his twenties.

Apparently he told me about her, and I wasn't affected coz I'm like, fuck man, these internet stalker chicks are bound to be ugly anyway. She kept messaging him on his phone coz he was from moblog, and moblogs allow users to "sms" each other - via some weirdass system, which costs like 20c an sms of course.

So this girl would be like, "What are you doing now?" "I'm bored, can you come online?" "My school was boring today." "How big is your penis and would you like to shove it into me?"

Of course not the last sentence, but the rest are the gist of what she would sms.

At this point of time of course, most of us will be like "URGH, WHAT A DISGUSTING DESPERADO!"

BUT NO~!

My ex-date, who was perfectly hot and whatever, actually responded to her with zeal and excitement!

He even called her "little puppy" at some point of time! I mean, alright ok, I didn't check his phone or anything, but it was all open on his moblog - as in you can see who has chatted with him recently, and what they chatted about. I did check that. Coz I was bored.

He has, of course, looked through her very mediocre photos. According to him, "it is just fun to flirt with someone from the internet."

So get this: While he was cuddling me (lest you forget, me=hot), and after he was perfectly happy, he was REPLYING HER MESSAGES AND FLIRTING WITH HER!!

I cannot understand. I can understand if she is pretty or intelligent or interesting - but no, she is just this teeny bopper whom I won't even speak to, because hell yeah, being seen speaking to her would be social suicide. Her face --- average at best? Her body? Never shown in her photos - which possibly means it is quite bad.

So anyway, in a month or so me and said date "broke up", though there was never really a relationship to begin with.

Fast forward a few weeks.

Today, I checked back on his moblog, and found smses from the chick, with him promising to go on MSN TO FUCKING CHAT WITH HER!!! OMG!!!


I almost puked blood. Is she worth it?!

They possibly have exchanged numbers by now. Hell, maybe even fucked. Oh, my tainted reputation!!! How can I date someone who dates teeny boppers?!?! Hush, please keep this to yourself.

Later on, being the busybody I am, I checked on HER blog, and realised one blog entry she wrote:

It said: "I'm sorry, but I would like to say that I no longer have a crush (you know who you are). It is yadda yadda not worth my time yadda yadda."

OMG!! LOSER!! My loser of an ex date! UNCEREMONIOUSLY DUMPED BY HIS INTERNET STALKER CAN?! WAHAHAHAHA

Laugh until I almost die.

This little girl - mediocre looks, intellect of a tissue prata, possibly not even menstruating yet - having the cheek, and indeed, rights, to say that she no longer digs this perfectly hot male model.

Just like how Rebecca Loo says she is over Beckham.

The world works in funny, funny ways sometimes. I suspect it likes to turn around and bite your backside just when you think it's safe to bend down and pick a bar of soap.

Ok fine, the bar of soap thing is irrelevant, but I just love that phrase.

And well, girls reading this: Remember - always play hard to get. Doesn't matter if you are mediocre or not. You bait the guy's interest, then you turn the tables and say you are no longer interested. How's that for coolness?

I give this mediocre chick 100%. You go girl.

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