I had it with tissue boxes!!!
I've been trying to prettify my room, and I always thought the ugly tissues I've been using all my life was because Momo was being cheap and just bought the ugly ones coz they are more economical.
BUT I AM WRONG!!
The tissue boxes being sold are ALL ugly!
WHY ARE THEY ALL SO GAUDY AND CHEAP-LOOKING????
Why must there always be some landscape, or an animal, or some stupid cheap-looking flower?
Why must the boxes all be in garish colours like neon purple, and WHO IS THE IDIOT who suggested that all the tissue boxes within a 5-box packet must be a different colour?
WHO? Some idiot from the psychedelic 70s?
How's all these bright colours supposed to match ANY furniture?
What good does it do to anyone to have all the boxes in a separate colour ANYWAY?
Oh, so mummy can have purple, little boy can have blue, daddy can have grey, and little girl can have pink? HUH?
I swear tissue box designers all have a conspiracy with tissue box cover sellers. I bet they are the same damn people even!!!
That could be the only reason why these boxes are so ugly, they HAVE to be covered!
I know, why am I griping about this problem when I can just buy a tissue box cover, right?
BUT WHY? Tissue box covers are bloody unnecessary and so troublesome. Besides, they become dirty after a while, and you even have to wash them!!!
I just want to buy a nice-looking tissue box, and throw it away after I am done!
If I had more money, I'd set up a company that sells tissue paper, and instead of targetting cheap aunties and such, my niche target audience will be people like me...
Ridiculously-anal-about-aesthetics young people who don't give a shit whether the tissue is soft, 4-bloody-ply, or has a bonus 8% given free.
WE DON'T FUCKING CARE if the strength is good or whether your tissue is family-friendly. Fucking tissue is just tissue, alright?!
I think if I had enough money, I'd be earning so much! I'd charge a premium of $2 extra per 5-box packet, and people like me would surely buy it up in a jiffy.
I don't even need to hire a designer! This is how it'll look like:
A plain white box with my brand embossed on two sides.
Any other information can go UNDERNEATH the box.
Man, I am still pissed off! It's unbelievable that in the whole supermarket, there is only 2 tissue brands that are passably ok-looking.
This Kleenex brand which is plain white, or plain brown, and plain grey, but it's super expensive and there is only 3 boxes in each jumbo packet, and it's stupid coz it's 3 ply and nobody needs that.
So I bought this one:
I still think it's super to have all the boxes in different colours, but at least there are no kittens on the box.
How's a stupid kitten relevant to tissue?! I'm going on a tirade to smash all the ugly tissue boxes.
Man! I can't stand ugly things. Look what I did to my nose!
p/s: Pink was the fourth in the row, but I cut a hole in the middle to take it out first, naturally. I wish all the boxes were pink!