I am bored!!
I'm disgusted by how frivolous and superficial my life is.
But of course, being disgusing, frivolous and superficial, I can't really feel disgust at being frivolous (since I am so frivolous and incapable of complex feelings, geddit? this sentence is getting too long), so I am in a royal dilemma of how I feel.
On one hand, it's a pretty damn good life to not have to use your brain much, on the other hand, I can almost see my school teachers (maybe only primary school....) scorning at how a bright promising student turned out...
(seriously, I haven't learnt anything much since the last few months. The last thing I learnt was that I can add cooking wine (or Hua Diao Jiu if Chinese Cuisine) to any sort of food and it will taste good. Seriously! I add it to maggi mee, soups (hmmm, maybe not the campbell variety), dumplings, prawns, blah blah. Oh oh oh! I also learnt some painting tips. More about that later)
Here's how disgustingly superficial and frivolous my life is, just yesterday:
Woke up at 4pm, messaged Kay Kay (who was from RGS, ACJC and NUS btw, don't play play ... bet her teachers also scorning at her lifestyle).
"Wake up wake up! It's time for shopping!"
Aye! It's as if we were on some important mission.
We went to Bugis, ate at Mos burger while making conversation about plastic surgery.
Kay kay said you can do ANYTHING in Thailand, including digging a dimple for $200 bucks.
I fleetingly considered going there to reduce my flabby jawline, or going to Korea to cut eyes bigger? On the other hand, a dimple? Sounds pretty good - I mean, nobody dislikes people with dimples, right?
Look at all the people that people hate... Does Osama have cute dimples? DOES MR SADDAM HUSSEIN?! I THINK NOT! Imagine now, Saddam smiling with two deep dimples accentuating his cheeks. YOU NOW LOVE HIM DON'T YOU?
IF I HAD DIMPLES I'D SO RULE THE WORLD!
Also irritated with my breasts coz they are not small enough to justify a boob job and not big enough to fill up clothes.
Briefly considered that I might be addicted to plastic surgery. Small voice in my head says I should invest the money I have, but the louder voice said, "Use it to shop and buy happiness! What if you died tomorrow?!"
I kicked the small voice away, because just thinking about HOW to invest (please do not send me emails asking me to buy stocks or wine or beans, thanks) makes my brain exhausted.
Walked around Bugis Village, bought $300 worth of miscellaneous things, including best find of $10 super slutty low-waist scrunch-side baby pink satin hot pants! (Maybe I'd take a photo later)
Lugged shopping home, spent 1 hour sorting through shopping and happily rewearing all accessories and clothes. Showed Mike everything by attempting to sexily pose in his door frame ala porn flicks.
He politely says, "Oooh, nice!" to everything, and forbade me to wear the slutty shorts in public. I informed him I am going to.
Kay kay went for MJ session somewhere else, and came over to my place at 4am.
We watched Meteor Garden, woo-ed and ahh-ed at Jerry Yan and I accused Da S of having a quivering clit at the "rape" scene where Jerry Yan tore her blouse and force kissed her. What?! I think it's very funny what! She act act like she don't like Dao Ming Si, but seriously lor!
That doesn't illustrate the hotness enough...
WHO CAN RESIST DAO MING SI?
KK said I am disgusting and laughed at me, saying that if I am Shan Cai and I got invited to Dao Ming Si's place and his servants changed me into long silky traditional PJs I confirm ask the maids, "Got shorter or tighter one or not?" and when they say no, I'd just go and meet Dao Ming Si with the top and no underwear.
It's simply not true! I'm a very decent girl.
Painted nails French while gossiping about people till 10.30am, when KK left to go waxing. She really never sleep for the longest time lor!
Kua kua.... Terrible lifestyle.
Today I was wondering why people often say that I am spoilt.
I really don't think I am (Mike, scoffing: "Spoilt people never think they are")!
I mean, my parents were not rich and I didn't even have air con in my room until last year can?!
My allowance in Poly was an atrocious $5 per day, none for weekends! Had to work in Banqueting, which was SERIOUSLY exhausting!
I had to wash my own laundry after I turned 21! (Fantastic present Momo, thanks)
I guess in a sense my parents (and even my little brother, who is way less fussy than me) often gave in to me regarding things they can afford to (such as food or other funny whims and wants), but that's about it.
As a girl, however, I seriously think how spoilt you can get depends on how willing you are to whine and act cute (in which obviously HIDEOUS girls can't do) and how good you are at doing those things.
If you whine and/or act cute and still don't get your way, just cry.
Of course, if some fugly girl does that to me I'd just ask her to fuck off, so yeah - go get plastic surgery first.
Some girls, like Shuyin (or Rozz) for example, are simply not the sort who will whine and ask for anything.
Other girls, like Junne (master whiner), whine even among girlfriends, so much so that even I give in to her wants more often than the other way round. No doubt after reading this she will whine to me and say that she is not like that.
If you get your way often enough, you just take it for granted and become spoilt lor.
Personally, I don't think there is anything bad about it - whining and acting cute is an art and not everyone can master it well. =)
Besides, it's not like my Daddy buys me 10 Chanel bags at the snap of my fingers or anything, so it's not THAT unfair.
I am, however, spoilt by how easily I earn my money - that I admit.
I've not done a hard day's work since Girls Out Loud, and I earn sufficient to sustain a comfortable lifestyle.
However, this is completely not my fault that I have fallen into this sort of situation (which is no accident but *ahem* a complex entrepreneurial master plan I had from the start), so people should not be upset about it!
Blah blah blah undeserving... What's there to be so undeserving about? If you think you can blog better and take away my position as top-earning blogger (by a relatively big margin) in Singapore, go ahead and do it!
Nothing is stopping you except for an internet connection and some sort of talent.
Personally, I'm surprised that nobody came along who is funnier, more controversial, better at photoshop and prettier all combined.
(I know prettier is definitely fulfilled, but I'm talking about a combination, smartass)
I didn't think it would take so much when I first started.
But then again, maybe somebody who is like that is not blogging and earning a mediocre salary from it but flying high in the banking/design/law world? No idea.
My stupid rantings are getting BORING.
I'm sorry there are so few, I'd try to take some more.
KK's and my Ikano membership card.
So cute right? They allow you to put any name you want on it!
No points for guessing which one is mine...
You might think that KK's name is much nicer but it is also thought of by MOI ok!
So funny, when the Ikea guy gave her her card, he was like, "Hey Mermaid! Your card is ready."
If I ever stop blogging for a living I'd go be a copywriter. (Actually, I did copywriting for HBO ads before. Heh! I never fail to amaze)
So annoying! My Juicy watch arrived in the mail and it is DAMAGED!
The crown's attached to leather band via the U-shaped thing right, and I think coz the crown's heavy and rocked the U too much, the one of the screws broke INSIDE the U!
Can see that one screw is shorter than the other.
And perfect news! Now I lost the longer screw! CCCCCCCCCB.
I'm so irritated! Have go to to the Juicy repair shop in Singapore and pray that they can fix it, otherwise I have to spend another $50 to send it to the states to be repaired lor!
Mike and I in Ming's car, highly photoshopped.
I drew on way more eyeliner made my nose perfect... Hehehe...
Wait, there's more:
Completely don't look like that in real life
Too fair, need a tan!
Ming and Huiwen at Paulaner's.
How I look like without (so much) photoshop. Hahaha
So fat already still eat pork knuckles! Cannot help it la, very yummy...
What's a Princess Room without pink walls?!
We set a mission to paint the master bedroom and princess room:
CUTE PINK STRIPES!!
NOW THE PRINCESS ROOM LOOKS LIKE THE INSIDE OF A WHIMSICAL CARNIVAL TENT!!
(Some boys might be muttering that it looks more like the inside of a vagina, but I don't care, I like it)
This is just when it was halfway done, now the entire room has the stripes!
In case you are wondering how I did it (Mike totally didn't help with the stripes, I didn't trust him to do them), it is done with....
Super a lot of masking tape
I used up 7 rolls of masking tape, and around 16 hours STRAIGHT to do it (entire Sat and Sun burnt), and at the end of all the climbing up and down the ladder and measuring and marking and taping and retaping and pouring paint and laying newspapers etc, my arm almost broke off can?
IT'S SUPER NOT EASY LOR.
Each stripe is a precise 20cm thick.
The ceiling's not done properly yet, I'm changing the light to a chandelier.
And after that, I'm gonna paint a big Fafi on the walls and more!
The master bedroom is painted what was supposedly called "BRIGHT AQUA", which is a turquoise that is 4 shades darker than this and supposed to make the bedroom all dark and mysterious looking, but it ended up in this pastel shade!
We are so pissed off, but what to do!
I guess this pale cyan is not so bad...
Mike says that he definitely has to quickly build a wall to separate the Princess Room from the Master Bedroom, because he can't keep looking at all the pink.
(By the way, just in case there are stupid people who are thinking that Mike allowed me to paint his master bedroom pink and is therefore a pussy, that is not true because we are separating the big room into two parts with a wall. The Princess Room is all I get for my girly stuff, and it only came after a LOT of whines, acting cute, and occasional crying.)
New shows on Click Network!
Being a discerning drinker!
I took Gillian's atas mineral water and pit it against lowly Ice Mountain to see if there is a difference! Click picture to watch!
It wasn't all work (alright, just a teeny bit of it was work...) for Singapore Day In NYC!
Click picture to see what Rozz and I got up to.
Co-anchors Debbie Wong & Howard Lo bring you all the quirkiest news stories from Asia. They may not be credible, but hey, at least they're funny.
How do I know they are funny?
Well, I co-produced the show! We had to sieve through all the weirdest news stories to bring you this can? I know, I'm so bloody multi-talented.
Ep 1 is about panda porn and fake poodles.
YOU HAVE TO WATCH IT.
Click on the damn picture.
p/s: I will try to blog more often.