2007-11-14

DORMICE, MSN NICKS, AND PUBES

I just bought a new computer!!

Was just transferring files into my portable hard drive when I came across my old chat logs and was reading through them.

The ones with Howard were damn funny! I didn't realize when I chatted with him it used to be so hilarious.

Anyway, I've decided to make a list of the MSN nicks I used to have over the years... They are super ridiculous.

Somehow i forgot my password for part of the logs so there are only a few from long ago:


  • Turodriqueismygeniusgod-fellatehimnow (Turodrique made me write this after he said something smart)
  • Xiaxue: Goddess
  • Howard is a prude (Howard refused to go ktv because he cames he has work like a normal person tomorrow. Prude!)
  • Shalala
  • I am actually a banshee
  • Ridiculous weather
  • I am your mother
  • Nobody wants to play minesweeper flags with me!
  • Zhengchang sucks in bombsweeper
  • Howard is gnome-like
  • FREAKING NIGHTMARE
  • TSY BLUFF ME (TSY is teo shuyin)
  • Centipede at my house!
  • Cheebye Cloudy ate my duck rice (was super angry!!)
  • Main menu
  • I am a bombshell
  • Happy Spring cleaning!
  • The next fucker who talks to me about Today will be blocked (Don't even remember what happened)
  • Hate new year shopping
  • My phone is very mei!
  • You can call me Taittinger
  • You have a long vagina
  • Everyone is just jealous of me (Being sarcastic)
  • MSN is a chao cheebye (MSN won't allow me to sign in!)
  • I cant type again. CHEZEBYE (MSN allowed me to sign in but won't let me send messages)
  • I am a mei nu
  • Just one day (Mike arriving next day)
  • Don't understand why we must have pubes (*pube-related story in a bit)
  • mememememe me!!
  • new photoshoot!!
  • I am an angel!
  • Anyone knows any web designers?
  • I want to watch Quidam! Anyone?
  • SO MANY NEW GADGETS!
  • Bored at home!
  • fucking chaocheebyely ugly
  • I hate stupid people
  • Cheebye singapore schools
  • :D
  • I'm a football
  • I promise to do work



Well, these about summarize my life.

My current nick is "I want a stardust dormouse NOW!"

Because I am obsessed over that animal!

Don't know how many of you seen Stardust yet (GO WATCH IT NOW!) but in the movie the male lead got turned into what was described in the movie as a "mouse"...

But mice are triple-f ugly with their bald tails! Especially the white ones with pink eyes... eww!

And yet, in the show the little grey "mouse" shown had a bushy long tail and super humongous eyes and a soft pink twitchy nose...

So I googled "bushy-tailed mouse" and I found out that the animal used in the movie is called either an African dormouse or... an Edible/Fat dormouse.

I'm not even kidding!! It's thus named Edible because it is considered a delicacy in ancient Rome or something...

Can you believe that one would eat something soooooo fuckkkkkkking cute??!!!!!!



The nose and the ears and the whiskers are super twitchy lor! Bloody cute!!


Apparently got brown and grey kinds... I like the greys more.


Ke ai...







They are super lazy and they are always hibernating!!!


CUTE NOT!!! Curled up and all...

Last pic the cutest lor!

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Awwwwwwwww!!!!


Dormice are so cute!!

THE PICS DON'T DO THEM JUSTICE, THEY LOOK 100% CUTER IN THE MOVIE!

I keep asking Mike to catch me one and he keeps patronising me by saying he will.

When I asked him why he even bothers to answer my endless inane questions (Example: I am a bunny, ok? OK? OK?) when he totally doesn't mean his answers at all, he looked at me and said that it's because I won't stop pestering him for an answer until he answers me.

Which is true. I need a constant stream of attention, or I'll just drop dead and die.

No seriously! While other people's biggest fear may be heights or spiders, mine is the fear of being ALONE (and not knowing if I'll ever have company again).

I'd rather, for example, choose to be stuck in a secluded island forevermore with Steven Lim (provided he wouldn't rape me) than be alone. That's how bad it is!

I think I'd rather die than be alone. :(

When I asked Qihua whether she would rather be stuck on an island forevermore with this horribly stupid, mad and vapid chick she knows (I can't say the name...) or Steven Lim, she immediately chose Steven Lim lor! (also provided he won't rape or molest la)

She said he is a boy so can she make use of him to build houses and transport items what...

When I asked "Then he sing song all that to you how?! Then keep talking rubbish and acting crazy..." she said with the air of someone completely indifferent, "Just ignore him whenever he talks la!"

So bad hor make use of people to move things then when people talk you ignore him...

ANYWAY BACK TO THE DORMOUSE!

I wanna buy one but apparently they are all endangered and shit! What's wrong with all these cute creatures! Slow loris also endangered!



*Oh yeah the pubes issue...

(This probably won't interest the guys, not that the dormouse photos did)

Super duper embarrassing lor. Today right, I went to *ahem* somewhere to do IPL on you-know-where la...

The thing is, IPL is damned expensive right, and people at spas and all are always trying to make us sign bloody 2k worth of packages - like 8 sessions of IPL or something.

For those of you who don't know, IPL is using some lasers to get rid of body hair semi-permanently, and if you shoot your skin for around 8 times or so, all the hairs will stop growing for around 2 years.

So I checked with this place (let's call it S... although I think you all know what it is) how much their IPL costs.

Apparently, if you sign a package that costs like thousands, each session is around $360.

Now if you imagine, that machine is bought for a definite price, and each session only involves the beautician shaving off your pubes for you and rolling a cold metal roller on you and then shooting rays into your skin... for 15 mins, and it's done.

Worth $360 meh!?

To the company, doing an IPL for someone only costs:


- 30min of an employee's time (if $10 per hour, I count this as $5)

-15mins of electricity for the machine (maybe 50 cents)

- rental of the day divided by 48 divided by amount of customers in the shop at that time = $10 maybe?

- Aircon I benefited from (free...? or maybe $0.20, I dunno)



RIDICULOUS LOR!


This is assuming they have earned back the money they spent on a machine, which I am sure they have.

(Qihua says I cannot count like that, companies charge us according to how much we save from waxing in the long run etc... Still! That would mean that places probably can afford to give way more competitive prices what!)


So needless to say, I wouldn't pay $360 for one measly IPL session.

However, the first trial costs $180 only (still steep, but at least S is a trusted place).

In most places, first trial sessions are mostly much much cheaper than the usual, coz they want you to come back and sign a package with them!

So around 4 months ago, I did my first trial - and it was good!

After that, I thought to myself...

Why not I be super brilliant and just go to different places to do free trials all the time?!

That way I can save a lot of money right?!

Thinking that S probably has a lot of beauticians and they won't recognise me, I went to a different outlet and did IPL again... and it costed me $180 again.

Happily, I thought they keep records based on credit cards (and the first time I paid by cash) so I drew out $180 and went to S for another "first" trial today.

The girl at the counter asked me if it's the first time I am doing IPL.


"Yes," I confidently replied.

"What's your phone number?" she asked.

I felt a tinge of dread, but gave her my number anyway.

"You never did it before?" she politely asked me. "But our records say that you did it twice before..."

"Oh," I had an answer ready. "That was my mom, I booked for her..."

"Oh but it says here you already did it two times..." she argued. Another beautician walked into the counter and stood beside her to see what the commotion was about.

"Yeah both times are her, I dunno la..." I replied, and I was getting ready to take on the 'how dare you accuse me' approach for good measure when the quiet beautician beside the receptionist quipped up...


"Shang ci shi wo bang ni zuo de..." ("Your previous IPL session was done by me")



Completely can't recognise her coz she looks quite nondescript!!!!

I can imagine that my face literally deflated and turned a shade of pink that couldn't be seen underneath my make-up.

There was an awkward silence while all revelled in my amazingly bad ability to lie, and the receptionist, recovering the fastest, continued by trying to convince me to take on the "package".

These people never quit!

Completely embarrassed, I got stuck in limbo between apologizing for my blatant lie and acting like nothing happened - in the end of course I chose the cowardly way, and, unwilling to pay $360, got a normal wax instead.

Sigh.

Those people are damn pro lor! They completely acted like nothing happened. I presume that people try to cheat them of first trials all the time.

Next time I am going to JB to do.

Cheap lor there!! And plus, won't get recognised!!

I hope they don't cut people's clits off or something.


"SORRY MAM, WE THOUGHT YOU WANT CIRCUMCISION, NO?"


Feng diao...


OEI STOP SAYING I AM GIAM OK! $360 per IPL session is fucking ex la! And I am not being cheap, I am being smart! If I got to different salons to do first trials, I am not cheating them what! It is indeed my first trial with that particular salon!


Good night!

I'm going to play Luxor on my new PSP and sleep.

I bought a new PSP!! Traded in my bandung-pink one for a shimmery baby pink one. The new PSPs are much much smaller and slimmer and chioer and lighter than the old ones!

I coaxed Qihua to buy it by casually mentioning that they are selling it in purple, her fav colour. Heeheheehe! I am a BAD friend!

p/s: My facebook is chioness!! Please DO NOT add me if I don't know you personally though!

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