Don't worry I didn't die in Macau!!
I am so happy today!!
I met up with Shuyin and Weili for a movie, and the two of them suggested watching this show called Stardust... Some fairy tale story with Michelle Pfeiffer and Claire Danes in it. I was not quite keen on it (personally wanted to watch Saw 4), since most fantasy movies tend to turn out rather disgusting, but man...
STARDUST WAS MUTHAFUCKING FANTASTIC!!!!!
It is soooo romantic and magical I kept having goosebumps thoughout the show!! Hehe... It's so awesome when you get an unexpectedly good movie. :)
It's too complicated for me to even give a summary of the show so just go and watch it!!
And the male lead, Charlie Cox, is fucking cute!!! Well amazingly enough, at the start of the show he was really quite ugly then he magically turned handsome with the help of longer hair, better fitting clothes and a pair of prince-y knee-high boots.
His lips look almost vulgarly sexy.
Anyway, (notice how I am completely avoiding the topic of how long I haven't blogged) photos from the trip!!
Macau is like... HORRIBLE.
Everywhere in the tiny city are big casino and grand hotels with flashing neon signs, but underneath the Vegas-like grandeur is an underdeveloped city with its underdeveloped citizens!
To cut that short, I mean that everyone there is like super unclassy!
Everywhere Kaykay and I went, people kept treating us like prostitutes!
Kept getting carded and being asked for our hotel card and identification - it's horrible la!
AND WE WEREN'T EVEN DRESSED SKIMPILY LOR!!!
I guess I can't really blame the men there for staring lecherously, but the hotel staff ought to know better right?
How can you treat your PAYING guests like they are social escorts without even giving them the benefit of doubt?
Even the newly-opened Venetian was like that!
It's so bloody unfair la! I'm a fucking normal tourist and I am educated and I have a proper job and all!!! (Fine, it's not a conventional "proper" job, but I'm not fucking for money, am I??!)
But then again, what would a young female be doing holidaying in Macau where there is nothing but gambling to do? Sigh... The logical conclusion for them is that we are prostitutes.
Fucking stupid la! Would prostitutes be jabbering to each other in good English?
And speaking of men staring at girls...
HOW MANY OF YOU AGREE WITH ME: MEN WHO ASK WOMEN IF THEY ARE SOLICITING FOR SEX OUGHT TO BE PUNISHABLE BY LAW.
Seriously, having a guy come up to your face and asking "How much?" is about the most unjust thing to happen to a girl.
It can happen to just about ANYONE however conservatively dressed, and there is nothing we can do about it except to walk off in a huff, insulted.
It is not fair that men have the liberty to do that to innocent women who aren't soliciting for sex - just because they take the tiniest flare of a nostril to mean we want their penis in our mouths!
WE ARE NOT INTERESTED IN SUCKING YOUR COCK! MAYBE YOUR MOTHER WILL!
If a real prostitute wants to do business, then SHE WOULD APPROACH YOU FIRST, you don't have to ask her how much!
If any guy dares to ask me "how much" (never happened before because once I see their horny smile I know what is coming up and I quickly walk away), this is how I would respond:
Lecher: "How much? You me go Geylang... Happy."
- Takes out a parang out of nowhere and slices his head off. -
That ought to be how this thing is settled but obviously I would be too scared to have an old man in close proximity to do anything other than walk away.
How would men feel if doctors walking around openly and loudly asked them if they want penis enlargements? In public!
How about if the men answer indignantly, "I don't have a small penis!" and the doctor mutters, "Yeah... but you LOOK like you have one..."
It's presumptuous and extremely rude, isn't it?
Preparing to go on lousy Tiger Airways...
To be fair it's not as bad as Jetstar or whatever airlines it is that has leather seats la...
The Budget Airport is really damn sad though... it looks like the canteen of a factory building!
When I took out my camera to take a photo of the plane, the usher told me I can't take photos. (which I did anyway, putting the camera at waist-height)
This "No photos!" started the bout of tyranny against photo-taking for this entire holiday...
It is the same everywhere in the casinos 4 hours later. Some fucker whips out his hand all the time to tell you the same thing: "No photos in casino!"
Qihua's bf picks us up and we eat!!
Now said bf's name is KK Chan, and Qihua's nickname is Kaykay, so as you can see, it is kinda confusing to call said Bf KK, and that's why we all affectionately call him "Uncle Robert" even though he is neither uncley nor Roberty.
Anyway Uncle Robert sponsored the hotel room for us coz he is in Macau for the Indoor Games (Uncle Robert is Singapore's best pool player!!) and he is staying with his coach but he wants Qihua to come... so that leaves Qihua's room free for me to invade!
Me giving a disapproving point at Macau's big pollution.
AND I don't think I look like a prostitute in any way.
Posing outside the hotel's lifts.
We go to the Venetian for lunch! I shall not write much about it since it didn't invite me to go stay for it's grand opening. Hmpf!
Anyway, the aircon inside is fucking freezing cold la!
I swear to god it's like 12 degrees inside - even with jeans and a jacket you still feel a bit chilly.
WE ARE NOT FRESH SEAFOOD WE WON'T ROT WITH A BIT OF WARMTH YOU KNOW!
Believe it or not, the sky and the shops are fake!
This is completely indoors.
And that, my love, is the how the food court looks like. :) Chio hor!
Uncle Robert and Qihua... Hao lian la your bf national player!
Qihua got completely freaked out by these roast pigeons.
Fat fries from Fatburger.
Magically arranged by the talented Qihua
And voila! She says this is me!
Got mole under the eye somemore... -_-
The white white clam pasta is super freaking nice!
In the boring "flea mart" that the brochures recommended.
It's absurdly horrible.
Peanut thingy seller
Qihua thinks I look hilarious coz I am acting blind...
Second day... We moved to Sands, where an elusive friend of Uncle Robert's is a high roller so we could get the fucking huge suite for a relatively cheap price!
It's ridiculous, I never stayed in such a big room before.
The said high-roller friend, whose nickname is Kapo, described the suite in the following manner:
"You got see before Pretty Woman? Haha you will feel like her la!"
I'm sure he didn't mean to add to the "mistaken as prostitutes" feeling that we already got, but when I went into the suite, the first thing I thought was that Richard Gere's room was actually smaller.
Qihua leading the way in...
Scary mirror once you open the door!
Turn right into a corridor
CHI BA BOOM! It's divided into 3 parts!
With en-suite jacuzzi big enough for 2 people to go into comfortably.
Water flows out from the metal thingy KK is lying on in a beautiful flat flap.
Looks way smaller than real life in the photo!
I have to gush about the toilet bowl...
It has whatever this butt-washing thing is called.
And the most amazing of all, the toilet bowl seems to have a life of it's own.
The cover lifts itself up when you walk close to it, and when you sit on the seat, it is immediate bliss...
BECAUSE THE SEAT IS WARM.
Not everyone may appreciate a jacuzzi or a butt-washing system (personally don't use it), but a warm toilet seat is fucking awesome and liked by everyone man!!
When I become super rich need time I'll hire a person JUST FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF WARMING MY TOILET SEAT.
The whoever will just sit down on the seat the whole day long and wait for me to do my businesses, then sit some more, using his body warmth to make shitting more comfortable for me.
He won't be able to use my toilet bowl so when he wants to do his own business (MINE ONLY!), he has to move to the servant's toilet.
And he better hurry back fast, or else if I go to the toilet and find it empty, and woe betide him, cold, he would be in serious trouble!! MUAHAHA!
Qihua very happy coz the mirror is amply big and we both have our own sinks.
Bored during your jacuzzi? Thinking you are missing the morning news while brushing your teeth?
Fret not!! Toilet TV!
That's the tv and a happy me.
King-sized super comfy bed with own LCD TV.
Living room with a best pool player and a high-roller.
Table laid out with fruits, chocolate pralines, and cookies.
Useless bit of the room with fax machine, writing table, and pointing orchids.
Really quite shiok!
There is also a two-doored walk-in wardrobe that has full length mirrors on both the doors, so Qihua and I don't have to fight!
The only bad thing about the hotel (besides the fact that they treat us like prostitutes) is that when I told them that my nail broke and asked if they could bring me a nail clipper, they told me that they don't have nail clippers for loan.
That would have been fine, but then they continued by saying I could BUY a set from them... FOR FORTY BUCKS!
SIAO BOH?! NAIL CLIPPER 40 DOLLARS, MADE OF YOUR DEAD GREAT GRANDFATHER'S SHIT AH, SO PRECIOUS?!
Lao niang sighed at them and asked for a pair of scissors instead.
We try on our Macau purchases...
(This is edited for facebook that's why got one black rim)
My nurse outfit!! Only 20 bucks leh... Cheap!!
Qihua trys it on too, with her ballet flats.
Next day we prepare to go on a day trip to HK!
Have to take a 1 hour ferry.
But it is chio!
Expensive lor! To and fro is almost 70 bucks. :(
I don't know why, but I took two more pictures of myself and they both turn out eerie...
(I kept the pimple there to show I am human despite being almost perfect)
So much better than Macau!
First stop: Mongkok - Ladies' street!
Wigs for 20 SGD! We both bought... light pink for me and dark purple for Qihua. :D
Many hours of shopping later...
Super exhausted on the MTR on the way back to our hotel...
Our shopping is super duper heavy!
Hands are completely red and hurt from the bag-carrying.
BUT IT'S ALL WORTH IT!!!
Everything in this pic is mine...
Items with stars are mine.
Happy boh! And all the things are freaking cheap!
My best buy is either the gold satin jacket ($40... not that cheap but SG cannot find) or the gold casual wedge slippers (12!!) or the matchy-matchy pink fake LV bags... Can't decide!
Maybe it's the nurse outfit.
Next day we go to the Macau stadium to watch Uncle Robert compete...
ALAS!! Mongolia didn't come at all, so Uncle Robert won! It's a walkover.
Qihua and high-roller Kapo kept laughing at me coz I don't know pool terms and kept saying stuff like "Golden Snook" and jump ball or whatever.
NOT EVERYONE CARES ABOUT SPORTS (and games) LOR!!
A guy was standing right where I was standing, and I wanted to take a photo there but the guy seemed oblivious to my subtle attempts to take over his spot.
I said to Qihua, "Yo, go shout at that guy and make him go away leh! I wanna take photo there!"
I was being completely not serious but to my horror she obliged immediately... She didn't shout at the poor guy (might be already dejected coz he looks a bit Mongolian-ish), but did indeed ask him to go away, which he did with a dirty look at me.
Not my fault!
After watching a bit more we left for HK again!!
This time, we did our nails:
Qihua's... Purple glitter powder and peach and white crystals!
Mine... Pink glitter with pink and green crystals!
MAN! The photos don't do the nails justice coz they are damn shimmery in real life!
Mine was just $80, which is freaking cheap coz it is French Gel, which costs at least $100 in Singapore, non-inclusive of all the nail art!
Two of my ten nails are fake tips too, coz they broke during the first two days of the trip.
Damn happy la!!
The crystals are all DEEPLY embedded into the hardy gel, so I think that this manicure can probably last at least 1 month. Yippee!
NEW VIDEOS ARE UP!
Feeling bored at home?! If you just so happen to have a Chromakey, or a Green screen, maybe you can do stuff just like this:
News Asia: EP5 - Anime Bikini Girls and a Shitty Fall
Hehehe... This ep, Howard and Debbie talks about how a woman is saved in a shitty way and some weird fetish that I think you have. Yes, YOU! You reading this!