2008-01-19

WAS COMPLETELY KIDDING

I can't believe that a reporter and a few other people (including a friend's concerned dad) thought it is serious that I went for a SEX CHANGE?!?!?!

HONESTLY PEOPLE! Like, a real sex change? With a synthetic penis from a Thai vengeful housewife? Using my new penis to TYPE??!

Which part of those sound even slightly conceivable?!

The reporter was all like asking my managers:

"Why did she get a sex change?"

"How long has she felt this 'manliness' for?"

"How much did it cost?"

"Why did she finally decide to do it?"


KUAKUAKUA!!

Anyway, now for the truth.

The truth to why I haven't blogged for so long.

IT IS BECAUSE....


I AM ACTUALLY A DINOSAUR (disguised as a human) AND DINOSAURS HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO.


I mean, honestly... If you were a T-rex like me, transported through time to come live in 2008, would you just stay at home and blog all day long? I mean, during MY time, all there was to do is to chew up little dinosaurs and roar and roar! IT'S SO FUCKING BORING I TELL YOU.

Now, I can play video games, go online, shop for clothes, get mistaken for an SPG etc... GOT LOTS TO DO!

I do miss my dinosaur pals though... Roarer the T-rex, Jennifer the lovely swooping bird sort of dino (sorry I can't spell the names you human scientists gave us, and if I use dinosaur language you guys can't understand me), and even Jimmy! Jimmy looks like Barny except green! I totally miss him whenever I see Barny.

So yup. Stop hounding me or I will transform back into my fearsome T-rex self and bite your heads off.

I mean it! I'm totally a dinosaur and it is totally believable! What do you mean this is even a taller tale than the sex change? It's totally true and I'm hurt from your baseless accusations.

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