I can't believe that a reporter and a few other people (including a friend's concerned dad) thought it is serious that I went for a SEX CHANGE?!?!?!
HONESTLY PEOPLE! Like, a real sex change? With a synthetic penis from a Thai vengeful housewife? Using my new penis to TYPE??!
Which part of those sound even slightly conceivable?!
The reporter was all like asking my managers:
"How long has she felt this 'manliness' for?"
"How much did it cost?"
"Why did she finally decide to do it?"
Anyway, now for the truth.
The truth to why I haven't blogged for so long.
IT IS BECAUSE....
I AM ACTUALLY A DINOSAUR (disguised as a human) AND DINOSAURS HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO.
I mean, honestly... If you were a T-rex like me, transported through time to come live in 2008, would you just stay at home and blog all day long? I mean, during MY time, all there was to do is to chew up little dinosaurs and roar and roar! IT'S SO FUCKING BORING I TELL YOU.
Now, I can play video games, go online, shop for clothes, get mistaken for an SPG etc... GOT LOTS TO DO!
I do miss my dinosaur pals though... Roarer the T-rex, Jennifer the lovely swooping bird sort of dino (sorry I can't spell the names you human scientists gave us, and if I use dinosaur language you guys can't understand me), and even Jimmy! Jimmy looks like Barny except green! I totally miss him whenever I see Barny.
So yup. Stop hounding me or I will transform back into my fearsome T-rex self and bite your heads off.
I mean it! I'm totally a dinosaur and it is totally believable! What do you mean this is even a taller tale than the sex change? It's totally true and I'm hurt from your baseless accusations.