I feel like complaining endlessly today. Aren't you in luck!
I HATE INCONSIDERATE SMOKERS.
I am tempted to say I hate all smokers, but there are really some smokers who do not disturb me at all, so those - you are let of the hook.
What I really, really dislike are smokers who presume that people around them should accept their nasty habit just because they are "addicted", or that "please, it's just a bit of smoke".
Which part of LUNG CANCER and FUCKING SMELLY do they not understand???
Case in point 1:
For the longest time I've been wondering why the fuck Mike smells so horrible whenever he comes back from work.
Whenever I mention this, he always says he was in an aircon room the whole day. As it turns out, I found out after two years of washing stinky clothes that his co-workers all smoke inside the office. THE AIR-CONDITIONED OFFICE.
Can you BELIEVE THEIR INCONSIDERATION?
Mike doesn't smoke, and neither do some of the other workers in their company, but because majority do (and so does the boss, I presume), everybody else has to breathe in their second-hand smoke.
If Mike gets lung cancer, are these smokers going to be responsible? Why should he (and I, since I also smell it) bear the consequences of something that someone else did to make himself feel good?
Analogy: Is it ok if some guy wanks and blows his load all over your face? No right? Same as cigerattes what! Why is it ok to impose this inconvenience and rudeness to others?
Oh God I am so fucking pissed of.
Case in point 2:
This is not really about inconsiderate smokers but just a rant about smokers in general.
Shuyin used to work at this company where almost everyone smokes.
So, every 1,2 hours or so, her co-workers take a 10 minute long smoke break.
During this time, all the smokers will vacate the office and go to the back alley area to smoke. They happily chat with each other and mingle, then they go back to the office.
HOW IS THIS FAIR TO NON-SMOKERS???????
1) Why should these fuckers be entitled to a 10 minute break every hour? Why? Just because they have an addiction problem? Because if they don't smoke, they will be sluggish and tired? Fuck that!
People who do not smoke get the same fucking pay as smokers do, so why should smokers get more time off?
2) If I have an addiction to eating every hour, do you think my boss will allow me to take a food break every hour? Huh? Is it ok if I go downstairs to buy a doughnut?
Why is it that only smokers get this privilege? Is it because it is a common enough problem? Should I take up smoking also????
3) If the boss comes into the empty office so coincidentally during a smoke break, and there is a shit job to be done, who gets to do it?
That's right: Poor Shuyin who can either stay in the office and get arrowed for more work, OR choose to stand among the smokers and make her hair fucking smelly.
4) People socialize and chat when they smoke. While this is not their fault, people who do not smoke are often pressurized to also either socially smoke (dumbass bootlickers) or stand like an idiot coughing in the smoke cloud (also dumbass bootlickers).
So I say, non-smokers... Stand strong. Don't be a fucking retard. You don't HAVE to be part of that smoking group. You can gossip also with the other non-smokers. In fact, hype it up such that the smokers are the ones missing out, geddit?
Which brings me to my next point...
Case In Point 3:
Waiting for smokers.
Throughout my life, I cannot begin to count the amount of time wasted waiting for smokers.
After dinner, I wait for them to finish their sticks. After a movie, I wait. In between Mahjong, I wait.
While I might not be doing something fulfilling every minute either, it is still infuriating that people will consciously choose to pick up this habit, and cause everyone around them to waste time.
Once, Mike and I were at Cineleisure's open air carpark. It was a weekend, and naturally there wasn't any space to park.
We saw this young Indian couple walking towards their car, so we just stopped near to their lot and waited for them to exit.
Predictably... they begin to smoke.
The man finished his cigarette first, and SOMEHOW, the woman must have been smoking a magical never-ending cigarette or something, because 10 minutes later, she was still not done yet.
The man, after she was about 3/4 done, decided he is bored waiting for her snail-paced puffs, and decided to light up again.
Meanwhile, other cars were taking up other lots, but we missed out on those because we were parked in a corner waiting for them.
The moment I saw the man light up another cigarette, I swear I wished instant lung cancer upon him.
The little fuckers COULD SEE US CLEARLY waiting for their lot, yet they just stood right in front of other car, smoking away and laughing happily! For more than 15 minutes!
I swear I was so full of rage that if I were the driver, I would have knocked them over like little smoky bowling pins.
CHAO CHEEBYE! Because of those little fuckers we missed the beginning of our movie!
Smoke smoke smoke! Since you two smoke, why can't you just smoke inside your bloody car?! Oh, I geddit. It's not OK to harm your precious leather seats, but it's ok to harm other people or make other people wait ages for you, right?
Fucktards. So ugly already still want to smoke... Confirm turn uglier right???
Case in Point 5:
Parents who smoke.
SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE????
I can understand if you do not care about the health of random people walking behind you on a sidewalk, BUT YOUR OWN CHILDREN???
Your own children!
A few weeks back, Mike and I were at one of our favourite restaurants. It is a semi-fine-dining place with an excellent view.
Unfortunately though, the part with the excellent view is also open-air - which means that smokers are welcome to smoke there if they wanted to.
I didn't know this or I would not have chosen to sit outside.
Anyway, after we were almost done with our meal, a family came in.
In fact, it was just this dad with his daughter and his maid. The dad was asking the waitress what nice food there is today, and I thought to myself, "What a nice father, bringing his family out for a nice meal."
The daughter, about 7, was seated next to her father.
He begin to smoke and talk on his cellphone.
His daughter coughed, but of course he doesn't care. Then, his wife and other kids came in.
The daughter nudged her mother and said, "Mummy... You sit here, I don't want to sit next to Daddy, very smelly."
She stood up and gave that seat to her mom.
Her mom was carrying a baby.
Her mom was carrying a baby.
The dad was completely oblivious and continued to smoke.
What a little self-centred, selfish muthafucking prick.
There is a little bicycle shop that's famous in Thomson. The shop keeper is an avid HATER of smokers, and along his shops are signs that go like "Smokers do not get a discount", "If you smoke in my shop I will kill your entire family clan", etc... Ok lah maybe not the second one, but you get my drift.
Someone told me that if people smoke even outside his store, he will angrily come and chase them away. I am quite sure I heard he uses a broomstick to do so. Or maybe not.
That's a little extreme, and yes, he is incredibly rude, but I imagine that he must have had some sort of relative who died from second-hand smoke or something to cause this sort of wrath.
Smokers everywhere are complaining about him being very prejudiced**, but there is apparently nothing in the law that states you cannot reject a smoker from coming into your premises.
**This from a Newpaper article published about this shop. Fuck you, smokers! Feeling victimized? What about the amount of people YOU victimized?!
I personally think more shops should be like this so that it will give smokers more reasons to quit.
I am glad our government is playing an active role in making non-smokers suffer a little less.
Now smoking is banned in clubs, which means that no more innocent people will get stubbed by a fucking scalding 700 DEGREE CELSIUS (I googled this) cigarette butt that's flung carelessly around by some cheebye drunkard.
I cannot fully describe the degree of revenge I wish to inflict upon these mindless fucktards. But I think... How about this?
We take a lighted cigarette, and we poke it through their cheek. All the way until it burns through and leaves a cigarette-sized hole.
So you see, next time these fucktards decide to do something as retarded as smoke in a fucking crowded place while intoxicated, they can simply rest their ciggies in the cheek hole, you see.
The cigarette can therefore be permanently put there, like an ashtray. Not only will it not stain their fingers, they will also automatically be reminded when the cigarette is finished: It will burn them to alert them. Good, huh?
Can talk and kiss while smoking too!
Now smokers can't smoke in coffee shops, queues, planes, schools, buses etc. I think it's awesome!
I also think they should be banned on escalators (wtf the person standing behind you HAS to smell your lovely scent) and sidewalks and... restaurants with awesome views.
Where CAN they smoke then? Good question. I suggest little smoke boxes where it is enclosed and some sort of filter will filter the smoke out. That way, when smokers smoke they are the only ones who have to bear the consequences of their actions!
I hope and wish that eventually smoking will be completely banned and eradicated. WTF man. What good does it do to anyone????
p/s: I REALLY cannot understand why women smoke. Don't you care about your breath, teeth, complexion and hair's smell at all???????????? If you can quit while being pregnant, why not now? (And if you can't, then you might as well stab your baby to death right now - you have as much self-control as an ape)
p/p/s: As for the inconsiderate fucktards who have asked me if you can smoke in my house, the answer will always be NO.
When will you people ever realise that your habit is irritating and destructive to others, and learn to be properly ashamed whenever you bother the people around you?
I HATE BLOGSHOPS
For the last fucking time, I do not want to advertise for your freaking blogshop.
I am increasingly annoyed by the sudden boom of these dumbass blogshops with dumbass names like Flight of Goddess or Morning Glory or Rainbows and Hearts or My Glamour Place or WHATEVER!
Who cares about these fancy names when the clothes are...
Wait for it...
Wait for it...
ALL THE FUCKING SAME!
They are all extremely bland and poorly made.
It's these stupid little dresses made of cheap satin or some unstretchy cotton or some no-personality off-shoulder shit that's obviously OL clothes.
I can seriously roll my eyes to the back of my head. I love online shopping, but seriously, can you girls not order from the same fucking distributor????
And then, these blogshops all have the same sort of girl model with the same either
1) A bit longer than shoulder length rebonded brown/black hair or
2) long and permed black hair with
3) the same skinniness and same smile and same pose.... ADVERTISING THE SAME CLOTHES!
And then... as if the sameness is not enough...
All of them then approach the same girl bloggers who all blog the same shit about the same products!
Omg barf to the max!
If you sell stupid hand-made jewellery that's boring and not bling at all, don't approach me.
If you sell stupid boring shoes that have heels anything less than 4 inches, I am not interested.
If you sell GEO lens, I am also not interested in advertising your black-rim lens because I still find Freshkon the best.
Why would anyone owe a shop that has completely no personality? Even This Fashion has personality: It is cheap and garish.
Topshop is vintage. F21 is hip and slightly bohemian. Giordano is casual and steadfast.
What are these blogshops' specialties? Is it called Blogshops Typical? That could be a new fashion style soon man.
I am not saying all these blogshops are gross. I've on many occasions bought stuff from them before, but that was before MORE AND MORE OF THESE SHOPS ARE POPPING UP.
And as they increase in quantity, they have a serious drip in uniqueness.
I HATE MORONS
I hate morons who keep asking me questions I've already answered many times.
How much are your crystals? What glue do you use? Where exactly in arab street did you get them? How do you stick fake eyelashes? Where did you buy your sidekick? How did you unlock it? blah blah blah blah blah...
If these answers can be found in either a blog entry or a Guide to Life video, I will not answer you.
If you really want to know so badly, I suggest you google my archives. THEN, you check clicknetwork's website and see if a video how-to has been posted before. When you are sure the answer has not been answered before, you can then shoot me an email.
If you wish to take the easy route out by emailing me before even trying to find out, then I'm sorry, I can also take the easy route out by completely ignoring you.
I hate Morons who try to make use of my blog.
Today, a guy went on a long unparagraphed monologue about how his girlfriend is thinking of leaving him, and he asked me if I can blog something about him and her since the girlfriend loves my blog.
Ridiculous. Why don't you ask Jay Chou to also compose a love song about your girlfriend and serenade her with it?
Ay, just because I am obviously less famous than Jay Chou doesn't mean I am a fucking charity organisation, ok!
Why the fuck would I write about this fucker and his girlfriend? Who the fuck is interested in his story?!
And isn't it MY blog? About MY life?
Suddenly it's like everyone is badgering me to write about their shit here. Sure... I will do it: If you pay me money lor! Must be fair right?
Grrr... It makes me very annoyed when these fuckers are so buay paiseh.
I hate the moron manager guy at Phin's Steakhouse in Tampines Mall.
The little fucker pissed me off so bad today.
Mike ordered a Sirloin steak and it composed of... I swear...
Let me draw a picture for you:
I swear this was the composition. When I saw the lumps of saturated yellow cow fats that Mike cut out from his steak, I almost puked.
Who the fuck would eat that?
Mike didn't complain about this until he was 1/4 into his steak, but when I saw it, I told him to change the steak.
The worst thing is that the other uncut half of his steak also has loads of fats on it!
The manager refused to change it for me, saying that the steak is already half eaten, when it is not.
Ok... EVEN if it is half eaten and the other half is full of fats, isn't it logical for you to cook me half a steak then to replace your ridiculous serving????
He also said that sirloins are always full of fats - which is not true because my steak didn't have any.
So I asked him, "If sirloins are full of fats, why don't you serve me a plate of fats and call it a day?"
He then adamantly said he will give us free coffee or tea instead of changing the steak. I told him I don't want his coffee or tea. I came here to eat steak and I want steak.
He then said he will give us a 10% discount.
I said I don't want the discount. And you know what the rude fucker did?
He interrupted me and went like,
"LISTEN. I will give you the discount and coffee and tea - is that ok with you sir?"
Knowing that I was the more aggressive one, he tried to target Mike to get him to agree with his stupid coffee offer - which is probably 30c in cost price.
I was damn angry at this point and I told him I don't want his discount or coffee, I want my goddamn steak!
As my hissy fit grew louder and louder, he took up Mike's plate and I yelled at him, "No, put that down. If you don't want to change it, I want to take a picture of it."
He then said he will ask the chef and took the plate and left. Cheebye! I am damn angry that I didn't take a picture lah! WTF MAN! We paid $60 for that meal and still must fight for a decent portion of steak ah!
If I wanna eat fats I will go eat Bak Chor Mee and ask for more pork lard ok!
Little prick of a manager. Just his luck lao niang today damn angry.
Just in case you are someone who can fire him, he is the Singaporean Chinese guy who looks like he has a short dick.
If he owns the place, then just don't go there at all, everyone!
It's Phin's Steakhouse in Tampines Mall hor.
Wooooooohhh! I feel so good after complaining.
I don't care if you say "I have been a loyal reader of your blog but I now hate you after this entry and I won't come back".
I don't care if you are an offended smoker. If you are not an INCONSIDERATE smoker, I am not talking about you. If you are, then go fuck yourself.
Hiyah basically I don't care what you think lah. You know the old saying! It's my blog and I blog whatever I want!