It has been recently announced that Paula Abdul has been kicked out of the panel of American Idol judges.
I think the reason was that she didn't get as much pay as the rest of the judges so she felt it's really unfair... Or something. Please don't quote me, if I wanted to be reliable I'd be a real journalist instead.
Anyway, she probably thought they would give in and pay her more, but instead they kicked her ass off the show and brought in...
Ellen Degeneres instead.
I was completely shocked. I mean, I don't care much about AI and I haven't even watched a full episode of it before (IKR? And I'm writing a post about it!! HAHAHA!) but being a generally kpo (Singlish, means busybody) person I'm still like WTF??
I thought the criteria for being a judge was to have at least SOME musical background!!
As far as I know and I even wikipedia-ed this, the only musical talent Ellen has is to dance a lot during her talkshow.
She is famous for 1) being openly gay and 2) funny. Not for singing.
Don't get me wrong. I like Ellen. But this musical background criteria thing has been used to select many other countries' own Idol judges!!
Anyway, since being musically inclined is no longer required, this opens up a whole new world of possibilities for potential judges!
Why limit it to an entertainer?
I therefore in all earnestness submit my suggestions to the people producing American Idol.
They are as follows, and you will find that they will work better for your show than Ellen Degeneres.
Don't worry that you have already signed a contract with Ellen. If her name is true, she'd forgive u. (Ellen the Generous, geddit?? MUAHAHAHAHA! Oh dear whatever happened to my sense of humour?)
No seriously. How can anyone not find that face funny??
I just want to hear Jacky Wu speak English. It's fucking hilarious. Ok fine, he cannot speak English. But it would be entertaining for the rest of us who can understand Chinese anyway!
Besides, Jacky Wu is way more credible than Ellen. Afterall, he discovered Jay Chou and has a few records of his own!
His own singing is terrible but still.
Check it out! I crudely pasted Jacky's big head on Paula's. FUNNY NOT???
Besides, the panel needs an ASIAN!! WHY, ARE YOU ALL RACIST???????
(Just kidding about the racist part. I hate it when people use that word to get an easy way out and I am against affirmative action in general.)
Honestly, why limit the judges to humans?
Music is beautiful and should be universal to all living creatures.
Therefore, when the rhino loves the music, it would bask in pleasure.
If it doesn't, it will be angry and will be allowed to charge out at the contestants, where we will be entertained watching the contestant try to escape from the rhino.
Soon, the Rhino will be everyone's favorite judge.
Other advantages of using a Rhino will be that it will steal a little of the Animal Planet audience pie. Also, general good vibes for American Idol as it involves Animal rights, fights Animal Cruelty, values animal opinion, etc.
Walter is the puppet that is created by popular ventriloquist (OMG spelt that right, first try!) Jeff Dunham.
He is fucking grumpy!!!
Check out how grumpy he looks! I'd love to see him judge American Idol.
Watch this if you haven't! Funny!!
Everyone who's watched Ugly Betty can imagine how entertaining Willie will be judging American Idol.
Besides, Vanessa Williams herself is more than qualified since she sang Colours of the Wind, among other songs... I admit I don't know the rest of them.
Why limit the judges to someone or something real?
This is called THINKING OUT OF THE BOX people!! With current technology, how hard is it to animate Homer into the panel??
I know, you are thinking, "What about live shows?"
I bet it still can be done if they pay Matt Groening enough.
Here are examples of Homer's probable reactions. (Pics stolen from some homage to Homer site. Captions added by me.) (Homage to Homer MUAHAHAHA)
Awesome or what?
My personal favourite is still Jacky Wu/Rhino.
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YAY TO ME!!
I've been nominated for Most Influential Blog and Best Original Blog design in the super PRESTIGIOUS Nuffnang Regional Blog Awards 2009!!
Very happy to just be nominated coz the nominations are open to Asia Pacific and the contenders are so strong!!
so please do vote for me HERE!!
Can vote every 2 hours so be fucking obsessive please!!! I'd blog more about it later. :D :D :D
Love ya all!!