2009-01-23

I can't be arsed to blog

So I shall patronise you all by just posting photos of Pumpkin.

I called her Pumpkin because I think she looks like black and gold/orange, which reminds me of pumpkins because those are Halloween colours. Ok fine, that doesn't make sense. I just think the name is cute lah, ok!

Anyway she learnt to respond to it by now, so no changing! :D

One day before I bought her:



It was love at first sight. Well, for me anyway. Pumpkin looks like she is deeply unsettled. Too bad for you doggie, you stuck with me!



Forlorn, would rather have a "true dog lover" owner.



Day one: We put her on the couch and she crawled up to my shoulder and promptly fell asleep. What a weird location to want to sleep on!












zzzzzzzz



zzzzzzzzzz



zzzzzzzzzzz again niaping against Mike's lap. I was so jealous!

































Several minutes later...



This direction seems to be better...



After her bath



All nice and fluffed out










In the t-shirt that I bought for her that was meant for bunnies (because all the dog sizes are way too big for her)! It says "Good rabbit" on it, isn't that cute!?

(And in case you about to start yapping about cruelty to animals, I bought said tee coz Pumpkin even trembles in chill when there is a big wind, or in aircon, ok! She is a puppy and she gets very easily cold!)

Anyway even this bunny tee is too big for Pumps, her front paws slip out of it, so I've decided not to let her wear it unless I am keeping an eye on her. As you can see in the pic she wiggled in her sleep and somehow put 2 front paws into one paw hole. Siao. Hahaha!

On a completely un-dog-related note,



My first Lv-yi-se (Green one colour)!!

At first I had the three 4 suos and one 3 suo - which means I was waiting for a 3 suo (green one colour + one colour + pong pong) but 3 suo was dead, and so is 2 suo as you can see I gang-ed it.

So I was waiting for 5 suo, which makes the cards completely not chio lor! One colour so boring and common!

I had one fa cai earlier in the game and threw that out, then I mo-ed another fa cai and kept it, throwing out my 3 suo - and I zi mo-ed the last fa cai (my MJ kakis are way too pro to throw it one lor)!! Woohoo!!

The 1 flower also mine.

Ok I shall stop the MJ jargon here.


And yes I am acutely aware of the rolls of fats in some of the doggie photos, so here's me in better times and also my best boring angle:




Taken in the loo.

I was about to go shower when I thought, "Why waste the make up? May as well camwhore", so I did.




Till next time and Happy CNY!


Note to self: Blog about USA trip and also cupboard nearly killing me.


p/s: Pumpkin is also sleeping on my lap now as I am posting this. Everybody say Awwwwwwwww!

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2009-01-16

I've got an idea! Why don't you go stuff your douchebag beanie down your urethra instead of irritating fellow humans?

I am irrationally angry.

I hate people who think they are so morally superior, they can lecture others on how to live their lives.

A big sub-category of this sort of people are "True animal lovers", and a sub-sub category of that is "True dog lovers".

Honestly, dog lovers annoy me to no end. For the last fucking time, I am not interested in YOUR dog, especially not if it's not cute, barky, slobbery, or imposes itself on me.

I hate big dogs which are very active and try to stand up on my chest. Ewww, no thanks, fuck off!

I love my dog (her name is Pumpkin btw, I just thought of it on a whim but thanks for the suggestions you all! :D), but that's only because she is a companion to me. This does not mean I automatically love ALL dogs.

What did these other dogs do to deserve me loving, or even liking them? By mere virtue that they are dogs? I don't think so.

Now I don't give a shit about whether these people think of themselves as True dog lovers, but just don't fucking go and impose your theories on others, ok? Keep your bloody opinions to yourself.

You don't HAVE to go on and on about how people who prefer cats to dogs are ignorant and stupid. It's their goddamn personal choice, ok?

You don't HAVE to go on and on about how Paris Hilton is a dumb bitch for loving small dogs. You like your big dogs, Paris and I love our small ones. Woman love cute things: GET OVER IT. It's our maternal instincts. IT DOES NOT MEAN WE DO NOT TREAT OUR DOGS WELL.

I owned a hamster and it's very tiny and cute, but I don't get judged over it.

Why is it that when I say I only like small dogs, I must be judged? Oh, Wendy, you don't truly love dogs... You only like them coz they are cute.

That's bullseye! Very acute observation! Is there anything wrong with it? I don't lynch big dogs, I am just indifferent to them. Loads of people are, so fuck off my back.

Anyway, the reason for this long rant is this:


My friend Janice posted a video of her dog Sally wearing booties. And guess what? True dog lover comes along!




Ridiculous.

Why am I so angry?

Because I am exactly the sort of person who will put clothes on my dog, and I AM NOT ASHAMED OF IT.

What's so cruel about that?

In winter countries, people wear clothes on dogs and even horses so they don't freeze up.

If putting those clothes on the dogs is acceptable for practical reasons, then why can't the clothes also be pretty at the same time?????????

Oh no........ If you put pretty clothes on a dog, it automatically means you are doing it out of vanity.

So how? Dog clothes must always be ugly to show you love your dog and you are not trying to make a clown out of the dog is it?

As long as the dogs do not feel uncomfortable underneath the clothes, I don't see what the big fuss is.

They can't feel humiliation or have the ability to pick a style for themselves, so what's the problem? It's not like other naked dogs will laugh at a clothed dog making it permanently mentally scarred or whatever. It's not like a dog will go, "Oh, I don't like punk that much, please dress me in Goth."


What really gets me is ROBIN GUY AND HIS BOOTIES BULLSHIT.

When it was explained that the booties were put on for a valid medical reason, he tries to change the topic by saying it is cruel to take a video of a "crippled" dog (and woo, put a soundtrack to it! If its no soundtrack it's much less "fucked up"!)


Firstly: THE DOG IS NOT CRIPPLED.

I don't know Janice very well, but I've seen her post stuff about her dogs all the time, and I know she loves them. Their coats are well-maintained and they look healthy and well-taken care of.

The booties were probably an extra precaution to something that can potentially be a health problem to her dog.

What's so fucked up about the video?



Maybe I should argue from the top:

2) No snow in Singapore, therefore no booties for Sally.

Wow, this retard actually observed that there is no snow in Singapore! Guess what genius?! The exactly opposite is true! We've got loads of sunshine!

And need I link it for you? Sunshine = scorching hot pavements = very cruel to dogs with bare feet.

Geddit douchebag? Booties are good.


3) Trained dogs with booties OK, vain dogs with booties not OK.

Is it ok if the trained dogs wear pink furry boots with diamantes on them? The correct answer is YES, as long as it protects the dogs' feet from harm.

Why? BECAUSE FUCKING DOGS HAVE NO SENSE OF STYLE, GEDDIT?



4) Humans should be jailed 2 years and lashed 15 times for putting shoes on dogs.

I think he should be jailed and repeatedly sodomized with a studded dog bootie. Who agrees?! Wooooooooo!



5) Dachshunds are "rat-like".

Janice's dog is a dachshund. -_-

Seems to me like someone was not loved by his mama as a kid, and have missed a few important lessons on politeness, didn't he?

Tell you what Robin. Why don't you stop being so polite to dogs and be more polite to humans who can actually understand your words and get hurt, huh?

Calling someone's dog "rat-like" to their faces (facebook mah hahaha) is quite bloody rude.

Anyway, I think you are "asshole-like" or something similar. Just saying.


6) Woman mad because she thinks SG floors are dirty.

Contrary to popular belief by retards, SG floors are not clean enough to eat your dinners on. Ahhh... I guess maybe for you angmohs who love to third-world-country trot to prove how fully you live your life it IS clean enough.

And this woman does not need to explain herself to you about putting booties on her dog.

Her reason could be "I am just using my dog as a fashion accessory!!" and there is nothing you can do about it.

How about calling the police and having her arrested?

Retard. Dirty floors are a valid concern! If humans can step on thumbtacks at some point in their life, so can dogs, ok! Oh my, I better get Pumpkin some steel-toed boots.


7) People in Singapore are mad.

Right, right. People who put booties on dogs are mad. And what do you call Sylvia Plath??

Get the fuck out of Singapore. I know Janice and I won't miss you!



8) This idiot is so fucking rude.





You have a different opinion from your friend. SO BE IT. She is not hurting her dog, so why don't you let it go?

You don't have to be so fucking vengeful as to snidely say she needs "help", do you?

Guess what? You are the one needing help. Scratch that. You need a good fuck. I heard blue balls make people grumpy and mindlessly anal about minute issues. Sounds like you.

Oh wait. You do like women, right? Right, your profile said so. I thought for a moment you liked animals. You know, in that way...



9) Why are YOU dressing up...






As a fruity douchebag?


Hey loser, why are you putting on an orange beanie and aviator shades at home in front of your laptop, while taking an act cool picture with your webcam?

Are you lunatic? Are you treating your head as a fashion accessory?

Stop being so cruel to your head! How do you know if your eyes like those shades?

Blah blah blah.

(Is that a mac I see?! Are all moral-lecturers mac lovers or what!? [Ok now calm down, I didn't say all mac lovers are moral-lecturers ok!])


Shouldn't this fucker be more concerned/angsty about people slaughtering dogs for food? Eh? Why he getting his panties all twisted over something that doesn't do any actual harm to dogs?



Robin Hicks - Self-righteous prick needing a fuck


Are you balding Robin? If not why the beanies? Is it because someone metal-stamped "Douchebag" on your forehead??



OK! I am done with my rant and I feel much better!


As far as I know, there are only 2 things that dogs like.

No. 1: Food.

No. 2: Attention. (This includes us giving attention by taking them for walks, playing with them, etc)

If putting on cute apparel means more attention for dogs (maybe even food), I'm sure they will be all for it, except they are a bit too dumb to make the correlation.



p/s: Robin, I'm doubly dressing my dog up just for you. Muah!

p/p/s: I've always wondered if people who treat any random animal better than their own friends/family are raped by a parent when they are kids, thus making them lose faith in all humankind.

Can't be mentally normal that someone really wants to cane a human 15 bloody lashes for something as harmless as putting on shoes on dogs right??

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2009-01-13

New vids!!

XIAXUE'S GUIDE TO LIFE



As requested: My eye make-up techniques!!


CHICK VS DICK




Truth or Dare...

Paul's new favourite game as he bullies Kaykay into kissing him.
Will he succeed??

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2009-01-12

I've got a new puppy!!!



Awwwwww!


She likes my eyelash extensions.



Look how tiny she is!!

I'm too obsessed with her now to blog.

Help me think of a girly and cute name for her!!!

p/s: Cloudy is staying with my mom! He is not MY dog, he was given by someone to my mom, and is kinda like a family pet. This new puppy is staying with Mike and I!

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2009-01-04

Gahhh!

I forgot to post about new videos!!!

WATCH!!!

XIAXUE'S GUIDE TO LIFE



I test out various supposed hangover remedies.
Some are gross, but not as gross as my fridge.

CHICK VS DICK




Kaykay and Paul buy Xmas presents for each other. Awww!


It WAS supposed to be Xmas-themed and all, but I guess a little too late for that now. Hopefully you are still having your New Year celebration hangover!!

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2009-01-03

Grrrr

I AM NOT DEAD GODDAMMIT! STOP SAYING I'M DEAD!!! STOP DISCUSSING OR SPECULATING WHETHER I AM DEAD! I AM CLEARLY NOT! I EVEN JUST GREW A PIMPLE SO I AM TERRIBLY ALIVE!




Knnbccb newspapers. *grumble*





p/s: Neither am I pregnant or getting married anytime soon - which is what was newly vandalised on my wiki page. Creative, I give you that. But not true.

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2009-01-01

I win for "Grossest New Year Anyone Can Probably Be Experiencing"

Happy new year!

Contrary to the false alarm on my wikipedia entry that proclaimed I died on Xmas day in Dallas, I am alive, kicking, and apparently, blogging too!

More about that later.

As I was saying, Happy New Year!

You know who is NOT happy today?



Me.

You know who is even more unhappy than me today?




The thousands of maggots that lived in my fridge and just got killed.








Bon Appetit! May I tempt you with some nuggets perhaps?


(Although maggots probably do not know it's New Year today... But still... Generally an unhappy day for them.)


Yup. Disgusting.


You are probably wondering why my fridge was in this state. Maybe one day Mike and I will look back upon this story and laugh about it, but not right now.


So anyway... As you already know, we left on 10th of Dec for Dallas, and just reached Singapore on NYE at 1am. That's 22 days including time zone differences.

Before we left the house, we made sure all windows got shut and turned off all our electrical applicances.

Mike said, "Let's just hit the braker, make sure everything is off."

"Okay!" I chirped.

So with that, we turned off the main power supply and left the house with no electricity on - at all.


Two hours later, we were seated on the plane to Korea when I gasped.

"What?!" Mike said.

"The fridge. Oh my god," I replied.

"Oh shit... It's off isn't it? Oh shit." Mike sighed. "I'm so sorry baby... I just didn't realise..."

"Me neither... Oh well, it probably would just go bad... Flies can't go in and lay eggs, can they? It's sealed shut..."



WELL APPARENTLY THEY CAN!


Little fuckers!!!!!!!!!


The moment we opened our door, the stench was so overpowering it seriously like... knocked me backwards. The entire house stank so bad, I had gagging reflexes as I ran to open the balcony door and all windows.

The fridge had a pool of ambiguous brown liquid leaked out underneath it.

That brown liquid had flies on it.


"Maybe it's melted chocolate. I have some chocolate inside," I said hopefully. Doesn't smell like it though.

"I'd bet it's the ground beef..." Mike being ever the pessimist.


We knew we had a packet of nuggets (sealed) some hot dogs (sealed), and some ground beef (not securely sealed in cling wrap). That's all the meat we had.


We were both wrong.

We turned on the fridge to freeze whatever vermin which might be living inside to death first, and finally worked up our courage to open the fridge door the next morning.

Armed with insecticide, we opened it and jumped away in case anything would hop out and leech themselves onto us.

A cloud of opaque air gushed out of the freezer...

OMG....... The smell...... The wiggling of thousands of worms......


I've never been more disgusted in my whole fucking life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


"Are you taking a picture?!!" Mike said indignantly at me as I clicked away. Yeah... Good blogging material what!

"Do you really want to remember this moment?" He asked amidst making gagging noises.

"Might be funny later,"
I shrugged.


No such thing as 'bad time for camwhoring'

And in case you are wondering, the white towel is my gas mask for the day.


So we started cleaning it - Throwing away EVERYTHING inside.


The brown liquid came from a hugeass packet of frozen (once upon a time) chicken breast fillets that we both forgot existed.


It is so muthafucking soggy and disgusting.

The ice trays had ice in it and dead maggots UNDERNEATH the ice.

I only took one picture of the maggots because I ran away after that. Those you see is just a small part of what was actually there.

The inside of the fridge had way more, and there was a palm-sized area that was soooooo full of eggs stuck there, the entire area was just brown in colour.


The smell... Did I already talk about the smell??

It smelt exactly like how the lizard that dead in my computer cables smelt like. Like a somewhat salty, sour smell. A little like dried sotong but 1000 times worse.

And... It goes deep into your nose canal and stays there so that you can still smell it hours later. If you breathe through your mouth, you can even taste it somewhat.

Mike shoo-ed me away to hose all the maggots away... He is so goddamn brave, I tell you.




My hero. He told me to mosaic his ugly clothes.


One hour later Mike cleared most of the stuff off. Maggots 101: They are sticky!

My turn. I scrubbed "egg marks" off with a toothbrush, wiped down all nooks and crevices with a soapy hand towel, then wiped down all surfaces with a dettol-infused hand towel (burns like bleach), then wiped everything with soap again.

All while gagging consistently at the horrible smell.




Dismantled the fridge to clean everything out. The maggots even got inside the back plate of the fridge, those little fuckers!!


Poured Dettol down every possible surface

Dettol is awesome!


And then I squeegeed maggot eggs and excess water off the wet floor into the drains.












There.

We thought after few hours of slogging (mostly Mike slogged coz he reckoned it is his fault) the fridge is spanking clean, even though it still stunk like hell.


So we let it air-dry, went out for lunch, and brought charcoal deodorizer and baking soda.


When we went back home, to my horror, I saw a maggot crawling on the goddamn door! WTFWTFWTF!!! How is that possible?!

(I sprayed it with insecticide to watch it die first. That felt good.)


The answer was that the insides of the rubber flaps that sealed the fridge shut was still bloody infested with eggs and maggots!!! Muthafuckers!


Honestly man... We should've just thrown the bloody fridge away and bought a goddamn new one for our landlord. He can't possibly mind... This fridge is so old and small anyway.

About $400 for a fridge like that... I'd pay double that amount to not have to deal with this shit!


Imagine that.

Some unknowing fucker would open that fridge door, thinking he might be able to get a free fridge from the rubbish pile... AND HAPPY NEW YEAR! It won't be us getting that gush of maggoty fragrance! Orh bi for being a greedy poke!


Sigh. If the smell doesn't clear up, I'm really gonna get a new fridge. I honestly cannot imagine eating any food out of that fridge, ever again.

Cheers!Aren't you happy you are not me?!


Well... The good thing is... my year can only get better!


********************************

So yeah... Someone edited my wiki page to say that I died in a car crash during Xmas day when I was driving alone in Dallas. The person even included the time - approximately 5.30pm!

Creative, huh?!

At precisely that time I was actually in Mike's mom's place eating a sumptuous Xmas dinner of Alaskan crab legs dipped in melted butter.

I was aboard the plane on NYE and was just about to turn off my phone before the plane took off, when Ming called me all the way from Bangkok to USA through Singaporean phone lines.

"Are you ok?" he asked. "Someone wrote on your wiki page you died!"

"Of course I am ok lah! Won't it be fucking scary if I am dead and talking to you now?" I laughed.

After I hung up I felt a bit scared. What if my plane crashed and I died on NYD? Won't it be infinitely morbid?!

But I survived the flights even though they were not very pleasant.


Good joke, whoever you are!!!!!!


I hope you die in a car crash too! :) Remember to let me know during your last surviving moments so I can update your wiki page also, k? What do you mean how? Email me lah! Xiaxue@gmail.com! Oh right... You don't have a wiki page because you are not important enough. Oh well...


But honestly though... I quite understand.

I mean this fucker, whoever he is, actually was online during Xmas day, went to the wikipedia page of a virtual stranger, and entertained himself by editing it with my death.

That about sums up the Xmas Day plans of the biggest loser in the world.

Honestly, shouldn't you be eating turkey with parents who love you and opening presents from people who cared about your existance??


I sound like I am angry, but I actually found this whole thing pretty funny.

Shin Min also called me to ask me to comment about this! They must have found it funny too. :D


I'll update with USA pics soon!!


p/s:

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Just a friendly reminder not to ever turn off your fridge!!

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