2010-09-23

90s make up

Everytime I see our Mediacorp actresses on TV or magazines etc, I always look at their make up and think, "WTF? What era are they living in?"

Make up, especially EYE make up, have been changing a lot in the recent years!!! Used to be people just put eyeliner, some eyeshadow, mascara, and that's the extent of it unless you are a tranny.

But nowadays, almost every girl who cares about her appearance puts fake eyelashes or have extensions!! How the fuck can plain ol' mascara compare?

And then came BIG EYE CONTACTS... I don't know which genius realised this after centuries, but whatever makes people look young makes them look attractive.

See blonde hair - so many people like the colour because (angmoh) babies are mostly born with blonde, flaxen hair. The reminder of youth makes silky, soft, light hair so attractive. I read this info somewhere ok, not I anyhow say one.

The one thing babies also have are hugeass irises. Well not technically, but I'd explain. As we grow, every single thing on us grows, except two: EYEBALLS.

So imagine your eye, erm, slits? were tiny as a baby, and your irises were the same size. Therefore proportionally, the black (if you are asian like me) part is a lot more than the whites.

Which leads us to the conclusion: Having bigger irises = takes away some of your age + way more attractive.

After wearing those Korean/Japanese lens that are like 15mm, I'm a fucking convert.

I'm NEVER going back to 14mm lens, ever again. Or NOT wearing lens, even worse.

And I think it's the single most awesome make up item, because every other make up only either conceals your flaws or emphasizes your chio bits... But contacts... CONTACTS COMPLETELY COVERS YOUR ORIGINAL BODY PART.

So it doesn't matter if your iris is very small, a bit small, or not the colour you want. Once you wear your contacts it will be your DREAM IRIS! And don't need plastic surgery PLUS helps your vision!! Madness.

(If you say contacts look fake or look weird etc you just haven't found the right pair yet. Keep looking)



After contacts, thanks to the Japanese, came the trend of BOTTOM FALSIES, i.e lashes stuck at your lower lashline. -_-


"O hai! I'm so cute!"


And they are supposed to be stuck some distance from your real lashes (especially at the ends) to give an illusion of even bigger eyes which look like they are oh-so-vulnerable and innocent.

With all the contacts, lashes, and lower lashes it's already really troublesome, but here's another defining factor for eyes: Your double eyelids.


Until this year, I thought double eyelids were just double eyelids. Some people have it hidden (which doesn't count I feel). But wah lau, got tapered and parallel somemore lor!!

Although in the photo the tapered eye appears to be nicer, I assure you the coveted one is the parallel. At least that's the case in Japan. And I agree it's really nicer lah, which is why I went to cut my fucking eyes FML.

In fact, the higher the distance from the lashes the better too!!

So... If you want parallel eyelids... Easy! Just have to stick double eyelid sticker lor!! I've been sticking them everyday. :(


And so back to my point... How can these Singaporean stars just go out in public with really, really simple (and old-school) make up?

It makes me cringe just looking at beady black irises. Face it. Those look BORING. And stars are supposed to be dramatic and attention-seeking! And don't say Chinese should have black eyes ok?

1) I never said cannot have black eyes, but one should have BIG black eyes. There are black enlarging contacts ok?

2) What era already you still believe Chinese must stick to their colours? Fuck you lah fuck off and don't come read my blog ever again.


Ahem.

So... I'm a new-found fan of Japanese make up!


Those innocent eyes, pink cheeks, light hair + brows and lips in the the softest pink... Skin tone not too fair but not tanned either... Just glowy... Mad chio lah!!

And I cannot understand why not even ONE of our only tv station's actresses are more... daring... when it comes to make up? Like nobody ever wears lower lashes wtf!! (Ok lah maybe got but I didn't see coz I don't watch tv ahahaha)

A friend from Mediacorp told me that it is bad for actors to wear contacts coz they can't emote properly behind coloured (or even non-coloured) lens. That's truly tragic. But still, when I'd not acting I'd be wearing them all the time lor!!

I suspect maybe it is Mediacorp who is telling them all to be...

CLASSY.

So boring. If I wanted to see classy people I'd go see... Ok what do classy people do? I'd go to wherever classy people go lah, which I'm sure is boring.




AND THEREFORE.... I photoshopped our mediacorp actresses!!


To make the photos look like they belong in a Japanese magazine! Ever wondered how Fann Wong looks with coloured contacts and ridiculous lashes?

Here you go!!

MOUSEOVER TO SEE THE ORIGINAL BEFORE PHOTOSHOP.



Fann Wong




Side by Side

She actually looks older with the eye transformation!! I don't know how that happened coz everyone else looked younger -_-

LOL I don't know what those Japanese words mean it's just a brush in photoshop so I anyhow stamp it on... And oh, everybody gets a hair accessory/bow!!





Felicia Chin




Side by side

I can't believe this is an advertisement for make up. Slap green eyeshadow and call it a day, really? Ridiculous... The eye make up is so horrible it makes her nose look huge!



Jeanette Aw



Side by side

Added hair for her!! NO TO BORING HAIR



Zoe Tay



Side by side

Omg I can't believe how gorgeous she looks with these grey eyes!!!

Look a bit Eurasian actually!



Pan Ling Ling



Side by side

Omg hahahah I feel so sorry for her she is the only person in pink so I really went all out to make her princessy!!! Ok the Jap make up look not really for her lol




Joanne Peh




Side by side

Looks cute!! She gets double bow coz I like her lol



Huang Bi Ren



Side by side

She looks good with green eyes and red lips!! Oh and edited her brows coz Jap make up don't have archy brows one, their brows are always kinda flatter to make them have the "kind" look.



Jade Seah




Side by side

Jade Seah's transformation is actually the most successful (ie really look Japanese after), coz I managed to lighten her hair (Nobody in the Japanese magazines has black hair. Black hair is gross unless it's dyed extra dark!)!!

When the hair is too dark or too messy it's just difficult to photoshop so I didn't bother to do anyone else's.


And I didn't actually photoshop anyone's eyes bigger ok! It's just the work of the lashes + contacts + parallel eyelids!!

Speaking of the parallel eyelids... Other than Huang Biren and Pan Ling Ling who are naturally blessed with parallel lids, I painstakingly DREW everyone else's with photoshop.


Yeah lah I'm sure there are some of you blind bats who maintain they look better in their original "natural" (roll eyes god I hate that word) self. That's your stupid opinion, keep it to yourself, I'm not interested. Also coz you are BORING! Therefore you like people who look boring, ok!

Anyway the photoshop was done FOR FUN, lighten the fuck up.

UPDATE: Thanks for the nasty comments y'all!! Here's to clearing up some things.

1) I'm not interested in being white. Yes it means coloured eyes and coloured hair, but being Chinese means I have strong thick hair, am more likely to be petite than gawky/fat (and I am), and I've never been more than 44kg in my life even though I eat like a pig. And Asians age slower too. I love the Chinese language, only listen to Chinese songs, and I love Chinese food. Got enough Asian pride for ya? I don't hate the way I look. In fact, I LOVE how I look. I just love it so much I'm obsessed with trying new stuff on it, just like proud car owners keep buying new car accessories. I don't know why I have to keep repeating this... Please read here if u need more clarification.

2) I did not say that the actress necessarily LOOK BETTER after my photoshop. It was just done for fun to see how they'd look like. In fact, I specifically chose some of the older actresses because it was FUNNY. OF COURSE they don't suit princessy make up. However, that being said, I DO wish they would SOMETIMES venture into more exciting and newer make up just to be more interesting.

3) This post has nothing to do with my own looks. Whether you think I look like a whore with my make up is not relevant, so from now on, any comments talking about my looks will be deleted, you fucking loser. You may leave comments like "I prefer Joanne Peh with light make up, she looks weird with Japanese make up" or "Fann Wong would do better with green eyes!"

4) What's wrong with being different? Why must you all beat everyone down into homogeneity? Grow the fuck up.

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