2010-09-23

90s make up

Everytime I see our Mediacorp actresses on TV or magazines etc, I always look at their make up and think, "WTF? What era are they living in?"

Make up, especially EYE make up, have been changing a lot in the recent years!!! Used to be people just put eyeliner, some eyeshadow, mascara, and that's the extent of it unless you are a tranny.

But nowadays, almost every girl who cares about her appearance puts fake eyelashes or have extensions!! How the fuck can plain ol' mascara compare?

And then came BIG EYE CONTACTS... I don't know which genius realised this after centuries, but whatever makes people look young makes them look attractive.

See blonde hair - so many people like the colour because (angmoh) babies are mostly born with blonde, flaxen hair. The reminder of youth makes silky, soft, light hair so attractive. I read this info somewhere ok, not I anyhow say one.

The one thing babies also have are hugeass irises. Well not technically, but I'd explain. As we grow, every single thing on us grows, except two: EYEBALLS.

So imagine your eye, erm, slits? were tiny as a baby, and your irises were the same size. Therefore proportionally, the black (if you are asian like me) part is a lot more than the whites.

Which leads us to the conclusion: Having bigger irises = takes away some of your age + way more attractive.

After wearing those Korean/Japanese lens that are like 15mm, I'm a fucking convert.

I'm NEVER going back to 14mm lens, ever again. Or NOT wearing lens, even worse.

And I think it's the single most awesome make up item, because every other make up only either conceals your flaws or emphasizes your chio bits... But contacts... CONTACTS COMPLETELY COVERS YOUR ORIGINAL BODY PART.

So it doesn't matter if your iris is very small, a bit small, or not the colour you want. Once you wear your contacts it will be your DREAM IRIS! And don't need plastic surgery PLUS helps your vision!! Madness.

(If you say contacts look fake or look weird etc you just haven't found the right pair yet. Keep looking)



After contacts, thanks to the Japanese, came the trend of BOTTOM FALSIES, i.e lashes stuck at your lower lashline. -_-


"O hai! I'm so cute!"


And they are supposed to be stuck some distance from your real lashes (especially at the ends) to give an illusion of even bigger eyes which look like they are oh-so-vulnerable and innocent.

With all the contacts, lashes, and lower lashes it's already really troublesome, but here's another defining factor for eyes: Your double eyelids.


Until this year, I thought double eyelids were just double eyelids. Some people have it hidden (which doesn't count I feel). But wah lau, got tapered and parallel somemore lor!!

Although in the photo the tapered eye appears to be nicer, I assure you the coveted one is the parallel. At least that's the case in Japan. And I agree it's really nicer lah, which is why I went to cut my fucking eyes FML.

In fact, the higher the distance from the lashes the better too!!

So... If you want parallel eyelids... Easy! Just have to stick double eyelid sticker lor!! I've been sticking them everyday. :(


And so back to my point... How can these Singaporean stars just go out in public with really, really simple (and old-school) make up?

It makes me cringe just looking at beady black irises. Face it. Those look BORING. And stars are supposed to be dramatic and attention-seeking! And don't say Chinese should have black eyes ok?

1) I never said cannot have black eyes, but one should have BIG black eyes. There are black enlarging contacts ok?

2) What era already you still believe Chinese must stick to their colours? Fuck you lah fuck off and don't come read my blog ever again.


Ahem.

So... I'm a new-found fan of Japanese make up!


Those innocent eyes, pink cheeks, light hair + brows and lips in the the softest pink... Skin tone not too fair but not tanned either... Just glowy... Mad chio lah!!

And I cannot understand why not even ONE of our only tv station's actresses are more... daring... when it comes to make up? Like nobody ever wears lower lashes wtf!! (Ok lah maybe got but I didn't see coz I don't watch tv ahahaha)

A friend from Mediacorp told me that it is bad for actors to wear contacts coz they can't emote properly behind coloured (or even non-coloured) lens. That's truly tragic. But still, when I'd not acting I'd be wearing them all the time lor!!

I suspect maybe it is Mediacorp who is telling them all to be...

CLASSY.

So boring. If I wanted to see classy people I'd go see... Ok what do classy people do? I'd go to wherever classy people go lah, which I'm sure is boring.




AND THEREFORE.... I photoshopped our mediacorp actresses!!


To make the photos look like they belong in a Japanese magazine! Ever wondered how Fann Wong looks with coloured contacts and ridiculous lashes?

Here you go!!

MOUSEOVER TO SEE THE ORIGINAL BEFORE PHOTOSHOP.



Fann Wong




Side by Side

She actually looks older with the eye transformation!! I don't know how that happened coz everyone else looked younger -_-

LOL I don't know what those Japanese words mean it's just a brush in photoshop so I anyhow stamp it on... And oh, everybody gets a hair accessory/bow!!





Felicia Chin




Side by side

I can't believe this is an advertisement for make up. Slap green eyeshadow and call it a day, really? Ridiculous... The eye make up is so horrible it makes her nose look huge!



Jeanette Aw



Side by side

Added hair for her!! NO TO BORING HAIR



Zoe Tay



Side by side

Omg I can't believe how gorgeous she looks with these grey eyes!!!

Look a bit Eurasian actually!



Pan Ling Ling



Side by side

Omg hahahah I feel so sorry for her she is the only person in pink so I really went all out to make her princessy!!! Ok the Jap make up look not really for her lol




Joanne Peh




Side by side

Looks cute!! She gets double bow coz I like her lol



Huang Bi Ren



Side by side

She looks good with green eyes and red lips!! Oh and edited her brows coz Jap make up don't have archy brows one, their brows are always kinda flatter to make them have the "kind" look.



Jade Seah




Side by side

Jade Seah's transformation is actually the most successful (ie really look Japanese after), coz I managed to lighten her hair (Nobody in the Japanese magazines has black hair. Black hair is gross unless it's dyed extra dark!)!!

When the hair is too dark or too messy it's just difficult to photoshop so I didn't bother to do anyone else's.


And I didn't actually photoshop anyone's eyes bigger ok! It's just the work of the lashes + contacts + parallel eyelids!!

Speaking of the parallel eyelids... Other than Huang Biren and Pan Ling Ling who are naturally blessed with parallel lids, I painstakingly DREW everyone else's with photoshop.


Yeah lah I'm sure there are some of you blind bats who maintain they look better in their original "natural" (roll eyes god I hate that word) self. That's your stupid opinion, keep it to yourself, I'm not interested. Also coz you are BORING! Therefore you like people who look boring, ok!

Anyway the photoshop was done FOR FUN, lighten the fuck up.

UPDATE: Thanks for the nasty comments y'all!! Here's to clearing up some things.

1) I'm not interested in being white. Yes it means coloured eyes and coloured hair, but being Chinese means I have strong thick hair, am more likely to be petite than gawky/fat (and I am), and I've never been more than 44kg in my life even though I eat like a pig. And Asians age slower too. I love the Chinese language, only listen to Chinese songs, and I love Chinese food. Got enough Asian pride for ya? I don't hate the way I look. In fact, I LOVE how I look. I just love it so much I'm obsessed with trying new stuff on it, just like proud car owners keep buying new car accessories. I don't know why I have to keep repeating this... Please read here if u need more clarification.

2) I did not say that the actress necessarily LOOK BETTER after my photoshop. It was just done for fun to see how they'd look like. In fact, I specifically chose some of the older actresses because it was FUNNY. OF COURSE they don't suit princessy make up. However, that being said, I DO wish they would SOMETIMES venture into more exciting and newer make up just to be more interesting.

3) This post has nothing to do with my own looks. Whether you think I look like a whore with my make up is not relevant, so from now on, any comments talking about my looks will be deleted, you fucking loser. You may leave comments like "I prefer Joanne Peh with light make up, she looks weird with Japanese make up" or "Fann Wong would do better with green eyes!"

4) What's wrong with being different? Why must you all beat everyone down into homogeneity? Grow the fuck up.

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2010-09-17

To the best hammie in the world

Nanolove passed away on the 10th of September, 2010... That was a horrific day. Mike and I came home from Tokyo to find that she died in her toy TV. Just one day before my mom went to my place to feed her and refill her water bottle and my mom said she still ate cheese greedily and was totally healthy. :(

However, it is to be expected as she was already over 2 years old, and the life span of her species of hammies only live a maximum of 2 years.

To be very honest when I went on this Tokyo trip I thought there might be a chance she would leave us forever before we came back. I've been dreading her dying since a few months ago. Everytime she sleeps, I'd hyperventilate a little till I see that she's still breathing, and I sigh in relief.

I don't know if it's worse seeing her dead or to see her die, I guess I'd never find out.

On the flight back and even thoughout the trip I kept telling Mike I missed her and that the first thing I do when I get back home was to snuggle her against my cheek.

But when we stepped in, I was busy taking off my boots and Mike got to her tank first. Wanting to cuddle her, he tried to wake her up from inside her toy TV... He flipped the tv sideways when she won't bulge, and I saw her body just drop to the side. I yelled at Mike "Is she dead? IS SHE DEAD?" coz the suspense was just terrible. Not that seeing the look on his face was any better.

I went over and Mike said "Don't look, baby... Don't look." But she just looked like she was sleeping... In fact, her little front paws where placed on top of each other and she even looked cute.

But when I reached out to stroke her furry head she was warm, but stiff... I couldn't stop crying, why the fuck did I go to Tokyo??? I missed out precious time with her... I just thought she'd survive this trip, like she survived my other trips... She was always waiting for me to come home, eagerly.

I read somewhere that Home is not a place, it's a time. And home is when Mike and Nanolove were around the house. Suddenly I didn't feel happy to be back in Singapore anymore, it just seemed so pointless.

By her 2nd birthday, all but one of Nanolove's siblings had passed away, including Picolove, whom my mom took care off since 1.5 years ago (and therefore I wasn't too upset when she died).

I was so grateful she was still with us that I made her a birthday meal!!




Her birthday dinner consisted of a heart sandwich with asparagus and cheese on wholewheat bread, plus a little gummy cake!





There is something very satisfying about watching a hammie eat!



Gummy!!

It was a happy day that day :)

I used to not understand whenever people told me they were sad when their hamsters died. I mean, cats, dogs, yes, but a stupid hamster? I used to have hamsters when I was a kid... They were just in the tank and would bite if you bring them out... So I didn't really care much when they died.

But the amount of bonding I had with Nanolove really surprised me. I didn't know hammies could be held and even like being held... They have very noticeable quirks and habits and they recognise their owners. I fed her fresh food from my hands almost everyday.

I remember whenever I used to cook, my entire "family" at home would be happy. Pumpkin and Nano would get some raw veggies (or meat for Pumpkin) from the session and Mike would love the finished meal. But now Pumpkin is gone and so is Nanolove... I'm cutting up cabbage for my maggie mee and I wanna walk over to give her some but she's not there anymore. I'm tearing away the crust from my bread and thinking "Nano doesn't mind crusts, she's too greedy" but it will just remain a thought never translated into action.

She is so adorable that even Mike couldn't resist her charms... Often she occupies our evening coz we are either looking into her cage watching her gorge herself on food or just poking her furry belly while she lies down on my palm...





Just like that!!

When I was choosing from among a litter of 6 hammies, I held her on my palm and it totally surprised me that she would just lie there calmly for periods of time!! Lying on her back is her favourite position, which is super duper adorable. Picolove would never lie on her back and as far as I know, neither do Nanolove's siblings.

I remember enjoying cleaning her tank for her because whenever I put her back into her fresh tank, she'd be so excited and happy she'd run around for ages exploring. Or Mike and I would sit on the floor with our legs forming a square so she can run inside the space. I love her she holds her food with her pink paws. And she can stuff a total of 11 sunflower seeds in her cheeks.

Speaking of that, whenever Pico and Nano were young I used to give them sunflower seeds as treats. When I gave Pico a seed, she will proceed to bite it open to eat. This takes a while. Nano did the same at first, and whenever the hammies finish opening + eating I'd feed them another sunflower seed. This goes on till I'm bored, usually within 3 seeds.

After a while, Nanolove realised that her human, aka me, has something called impatience. She also realised that when she is done with one seed, she gets another seed. So putting two and two together, she decided from then on to STORE her seeds in her cheek whenever I give her a seed, so she gets another seed immediately!

Meanwhile Picolove is totally losing out coz she is, erm, slower and persists in deshelling her food on the spot.

Smart right?? And that's how I know Nanolove can store 11 seeds at once. LOL

Sigh... She was such a huge part of my life... She was a big reason why I love staying at home.


I did up a college of her photos I took throughout the 2 years...





And a video of her best moments I managed to capture on film:



Will I ever stop feeling sad every time I see her empty tank?



Thanks for being the best pet ever, Nanopuff!


NANOLOVE AUGUST 2008 to SEPTEMBER 2010




We buried her with her favourite puff balls at the field before my block.

I hope you are in hammie heaven now with loads of colourful cotton balls and sunflower seeds and cheese and tunnels for you to explore.

:( :( :(


p/s: I was actually recovering pretty well until I wrote this post and now I'm horrifically sad again wtf

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2010-09-13

Flipping new eyes

Advertorial

So it has been about 1 month plus since I did my eye surgery. After 1 week of doing the surgery, I had to go back to remove my stitches!!

And I brought a companion with me... The Flip Mino HD camcorder!



Sleek in front, and SUPER TINY.



Customizable at the back!! Pretty or what!!

It can record 2 hours worth of videos and is super duper easy to operate. 1 click starts the recording, another click to stop.

You can watch the video you recorded on the 2 inch screen and delete it if you don't like it.

If you do, just press another button and the USB thingy pops up!! (Can also use it to hurt robbers ala switch knife I think) Insert that into your computer's USB port and drag and drop your spanking new videos!!

Talk about ease of video blogging!

Anyway the Flip camcorders are really popular in USA (I saw loads of ads when I was in Texas) but somehow video blogging doesn't seem to be the trend in Singapore. Maybe it's coz video cameras are so huge to lug around - but now you can record videos on HD with such a tiny device!

Sorry got carried away. As I was saying, I brought the Mino HD with me to JB to get my stitches removed!

And here's the resulting video:




There, for everyone who ever wanted to see me cry, haha...

The Flip Mino HD camcorder comes with pre-loaded Flipshare software, which makes emailing/uploading your videos a breeze, and even lets you edit individual clips as well as make custom movies and capture still image snapshots!


.................................................


Just to elaborate more about the removal. My friend A who removed her stitches a week before me, actually told me it would not hurt at all, so I went into the room all calm and dandy. I guess hers healed much better than mine.

My right eye, as you can see on the video, is in a much worse state than the left. The wound was still raw, the eyelid was bruised (quite badly), and worst of all, my eyeball had this 1.5cm long blood clot that is VERY VERY SCARY LOOKING.


I only managed to snap this one blurry shot of it but see the red patch on the inner eye white part? Well it goes all the way to the outer eye white part UNDER my iris.

Honestly although the photo looks horrific I wasn't really in pain, just that it looks really gross and took super long to recover.

So yeah I went into a room and it was NURSES who did the removal for me, not the doctor. The doctor didn't even fucking see me.

(Actually I have doubts that they are real nurses)

And the moment the nurse saw me, she said, "WAH WHY YOUR EYE SO RED?" Hello?? Why don't you ask your doctor that question?!


Prepare to cringe.

On my right eye, flesh somehow grew OVER the stitches. There were 2 in total on each side.

So they begin by prying my eye wide open (that already hurts plus I kept thinking it will split), and used a pair of tweezers (as shown in video) to sort of try to dig out the stitches.

I don't know if it's just the nurse's fucking ineptitude or whatever, but my wound was still raw and tender and she just kept fucking poking at me for fucking 10 mins.

I can't even begin to describe how painful this is. POKE POKE POKE POKE

And I didn't get numbing cream, no local anesthesia, nothing.

Initially since I couldn't see what she was doing (obviously), I thought she was doing something necessary and just tolerated it. Like u know, part of a process of getting it done.

After that I realised she kept doing the same thing (digging) and had no intentions of stopping because she kept FAILING to dig out my stitches!

FUCK HER LAH!

I begin to get so traumatized I started to whimper, then cry, then SOB.

I BEGGED them to stop because I couldn't take the pain anymore. I wanted to go back to gentle Dr Huang and his sophisticated equipment. I even told them just fucking leave the stitches inside and let me go, I don't care if I live with stitches forevermore.

After the "digging", this was what had to be done:



CAN YOU FUCKING IMAGINE THAT ON YOUR TENDER EYE CORNER!!

Never in my adult life have I ever cried over pain, seriously. I (think I) have a very high pain tolerance lor. Tattoos, ok. Wisdom teeth all 4 out at once... Never flinched. Brazilian waxing? Meh. Lip fillers? Child's play.

BUT THIS WAS HELL.


Even if you paid me $100,000, I will NOT go through this again, even if it means living with short, small eyes. Fuck this shit. I won't even wish this upon Plasticzilla.

I don't know how they managed to persuade me to finish up but they kept saying "Hen kuai de, yao hao le" (Almost done) and I let them.

The left eye's removal also hurt but it was not as painful as the right eye's. Tolerable, about 6/10.

And this - stitches removal for my right eye... is 9.8/10. I can only imagine how people who break their legs feel like but at least your leg only breaks once while this woman was digging in my eye non stop repeatedly for 20 whole minutes. -_-

When I stepped outside, still sobbing, one of the nurses said to me, "Oh poor thing cry until like this... You must be very scared of pain."

LIKE FUCK YOU OK!


Although she was nice and polite throughout my ordeal and I'm sure she didn't mean it in a condescending way, it was still fucking offensive because MY FUCKING PAIN was not coz of my intolerance in any way but because YOUR DOCTOR SUCKS!

I sliced open my nose, stuffed something inside and had chucks of my alars cut off (literally chunks that were thrown away)... AND THE PAIN IS NOWHERE CLOSE!

And Dr Huang is so nice and funny and gentle and he really cares about me and my nose boohoohoo *emo*

I know I asked for it by being so vain and also being totally reckless but yeah lah I totally am regretting this man!!

Eye job with shoddy china doctor: $1,600

Nose job with Dr Martin Huang: $12,000

Regret at being a cheapo: Priceless



And somemore, shittiest thing ever:



NOT MUCH DIFFERENCE FML MAXIMUM

Bottom is the before btw. I know the iris looks smaller but that's coz my fake eyelashes were more heavy in that photo.

My eyes look slightly bigger without make up but with make up is almost the same. I know I said it looks very different in my earlier blog post but I think it was only because it was so swollen??!! I don't know what happened lah maybe my eyes healed themselves -_-

So yeah I am NOT going to reveal the clinic's name because I know some of you still want to go there because you are a cheapo. There is no way I'd be held responsible if you somehow blind yourself there. And as for the argument that I should reveal the clinic's name to warn people not to go, well... Too fucking bad. Who ask you still go to JB clinic to do surgery after my horror story.


Ok lah enough gore shall end my blog post with a chio photo of the recovered eyes:


Yes everything is photoshopped INCLUDING eyes.


Thank you for capturing my emo face after the removal Flip Mino HD!! I am so not gonna do plastic surgery again***!!

(*** Coz Mike banned me from doing anything else)


Interested to get the Flip Mino HD? Retail price is $349...





BUT YOU CAN GET IT AT $319 with Mine!


Flip is also available at Challenger stores,
CK tang, Airports ParisSilk, Juzz 1 (esplanade).

Many designs customizable too! Yay!

Start video blogging today!!


p/s: I know there are a lot of adverts recently but well I went to Tokyo for 6 days and then my beloved pet died so understandably I have like zero inspiration to blog.

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2010-09-03

Nom nom for the skin

Advertorial



Great skin is always noticeable and even if the rest of your features are not that attractive... as long as you have beautiful skin you'd still look radiant and healthy!!

Which is why I'm always on the lookout for products to bring my skin quality from good to AWESOME!!

Some more I'm getting old -_-. Will try anything to prevent skin deterioration!

So I was real happy when I got sponsored some new Skinfood products!!



A little background - Skinfood is from Korea and they have been continually developing innovative ranges for skin, body, hair and make up products based entirely on FOOD ingredients!

When the BB cream trend exploded in Singapore, I remember Skinfood was one of the first to produce a highly raved about bb cream, the Mushroom bb cream!!

And now... Their newest range -



SKINFOOD OMIJA



From left:

Omija Whitening Tea Bag Toner (Sheets included)

Omija Whitening Emulsion

Omija Whitening Serum



Omija Whitening Mask sheet (2 masks)

(Cheek mask sheets come with teabag toner)



From left:

Omija Whitening Spot cream
Comes with the Inception totem!! LOL!
Will explain more about that later

Omija Whitening Cream



You'd notice that all the products contain the word "whitening" in them... That's coz that's what the Omija berry (plus Skinfood's patented Proprietary complexion brightening ingredients) does!!

The bright red berries are grown in Mungyeong (for Skinfood that is)... Its beneficial properties have been long utilized by the Koreans most commonly in the form of Omija tea.

Many girls in Singapore, I've noticed, are obsessed over fair skin!! I myself prefer to have a golden tan but I still use whitening products because I want BRIGHTER skin. Great skin always looks radiant, whether tan or fair!


The stellar product of the Skinfood Omija range is definitely the Teabag Toner!!


The super cute bottle comes attached with a teabag filled with Omija goodness!!

Here's how to use it:


First, after opening the metal lid you'd notice another unique cap on the toner bottle - it has a small tab on it, and can be screwed open to reveal a wider bottle opening!






Of course, remember to shake the bottle before opening the small tab ;)






Review: The toner smells really pleasant and is very refreshing! I've always loved toners because they give you cleaner skin and smaller pores and moisturizes... However, some toners, I feel, dries out skin but this one doesn't!

Plus it's totally fun to dip the teabag lol. I feel it's such a waste to throw away the teabag after that though... Maybe I should have used it to make Omija tea?

What I love about the toner most is that it comes with 10 Cheek mask sheets!! It's great for using the toner even more intensively :)

After using the toner, my skin feels baby soft, clean, and smells nice to boot!



The other product I really liked in the range - OMIJA WHITENING SPOT CREAM!

Why?



Yes because it comes with the Nano Silver Massage Bar! How innovative!

The Nano Silver Massage Bar contains nano silver particles with superb anti-bacterial properties! I don't know what nano silver particles but they sound good!



After using the massage bar, I'm a convert!! I'd never use my fingers to apply creams anymore!! It feels so good giving your face a massage and at the same time delivering the goodness of the cream deeper into your skin.

I'm also convinced it makes my face thinner! Massage away the fats! LOL Although I don't know if this is true lah...

The whitening spot cream itself is used to visibly lighten even the most stubborn spots to give you a flawless look!!

Pigmentation is horrible and I hate it!! It makes your skin look so dull! Now I have something to fight them with hehehe. I've also realised that the spot cream works as a great moisturizer too!



Wanna get the new Skinfood Omija range?

Why not win some of their products too?

All you have to do is to join Skinfood Singapore's Fan Page on facebook!


PRIZE:
Receive a limited edition gift set worth $29.90 when you buy any 2 Omija products (except for the mask sheets)!!


HOW:


1) Join the Skinfood Singapore Facebook fan page.

2) Leave a comment with the quote "I want great skin too!"

3) As long as you are the first 150 readers to do so, you win!!

4) Print it to show the Skinfood's beauty consultants! Limited to Jurong Point, Suntec and Tampines outlet.



JOIN NOW!!

To get the best advice for your skin and to ensure your Skinfood products are
authentic, remember to buy the products in their stores rather
than online. :) For more info on the stores, click here.





SKINFOOD



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