*smilez*
*smilez*
*smilez*
*cramps from smiling*
Guess who this is? No, no, not the tooth, the PERSON....
Yes baby, itz EDDY, holding his wisdom tooth up to show me. (it freaking scares me that the bloody thing is so big. Eddy says mine is prolly small though.)
Today i met up with Eddy. (yeah, ok, duh.) Well if u are an ardent fan of mine, u would have known that Eddy went to Malaysia. Look what he came back with...
-_-; LOLz
Gian Bng Gian Sai lar. Go Malaysia dye hair cheap cheap, in the end colour come out kannasai, den cannot go work. So... he asked me for help. OK to start with we bought a DIY hair dye from Watsons, Jurong east. The mission starts....
He looks plenty excited.
And the result....
LOLz. Successful... And what did we do at his place?
Sex and The City. We watched 2 episodes.
Blow, a movie by Johnny Depp and Penelope Cruz. I am SO glad that Eddy agrees with me that Penelope looks like a maid. I would personally kill anyone who thinks that broomstick is hot.
Entangling in each other's arms was all that the octupuses on Discovery did while we watched the whole 1 hour feature. Now I have more knowledge about octupuses than i would ever need. I know how they have sex, how they court, how they camouflage, how they eat crabs. In my opinion, this is far too much useless info. =P
No, we didnt have sex. Doh! (No one can be aroused after watching Octupuses have sex. )
Eddy was rather preoccupied the whole day though, coz he was offered a scholarship to do his Masters in NUS but he doesnt know if he should accept it.
I'm preoccupied too coz i keep finding stuff his ex gives him in his room. See the 3rd pic with the pink circle? Yeah filling the shelf are stuff toys she gave. Other stuff like photoframes, hair pins, etc etc kept popping up as if taunting that she managed to get his heart but i can't, and i won't.
Well sidetracking a bit i would like to mention i noticed a lot of guys like to call their gfs the last syllabus of their names. Eddy calls his ex lili, another friend of my mine calls his gf lala (shirley and stella respectively.) I told Eddy that this system cant work for us coz we will both be called dydy. (ok 1,2,3, laugh.)
*haiz suddenly very sad again*
Yeah, i seriously think Eddy doesnt like me. It has been so long already, the novelty and chemistry are both running dry. Will he make a decision before it is too late?
Juz when i was going out of his house, carefully avoiding eye contact with "her" things to make sure i dun get traumatized again, i decided i need a pee. While i was blissfully on the toilet bowl, Holy SHIT!
There on one of the toothbrush handles was loud and clear: SHIRLEY'S.
Yeah yeah Eddy's all urs. *Pui*
Stayed at home the whole day AGAIN~! With this exams thing i'm becoming a loser.
Recently i have been revisiting websites that freaked me out and today, the honourable website is Rotten.com
I skipped the disgusting murder pictures (which still traumatizes me till this day when my classmate first introduced the website to me in a computer lab.) and went on to read some of itz articles instead.. Wahhaha some of them are like really funny. Theres one on SARS. While it might be a tad insensitive to joke about an epidemic (which i insist is not an epidemic since when u get SARS chances are 85% that u would survive.), i guess to lighten the mood we shld all learn to laugh in the face of death.
One elderly patient resting in a hospital bed asked the day nurse if his testicles were black. Exhausted and cranky, the nurse yanked forth his sheets and pointed with an outstretched finger, stating loudly that the man's testicles appeared just fine and that SARS was exclusively a respiratory disease. Embarrassed, the patient pulled the heavy cloth mask from his face and informed her that all he wanted to know was if his test results were back.
LOLz. I think rotten.com made that up itself, but itz is funny enuff.
What are ur views on masturbation?
Quoted: "...to feel ashamed about an act so natural that pretty much all primates and perhaps even all mammals participate in it. Even porcupines masturbate!"
And very much later in the article: "Just for the record, porcupines masturbate by holding a stick between their legs and rubbing their genitals against it."
Wahahahhahaha... Thats like so cute. I wonder who bothered to go and notice that. Ah well i suppose if ur partner is very dangerously spiky u might as well masturbate too.
Well did u know that Kelloggs cornflakes was invented to curb masturbation????!! And Dr Kelloggs is rather sick in the mind. See this:
"Another deterrent recommended by Kellogg was to wire a boy�s foreskin together at the end such that mere erection would become very painful. The wire was of course to be attached by piercing the foreskin with a needle, with the wire following along in place of thread. For the multitude of American males who do not (thanks to Kellogg and his ilk) have a foreskin, it may be worth mentioning that the foreskin is considered to be much more sensitive to pain and pleasure than the bald penis you may currently own."
This is freaking funny.. But not to worry, the Kelloggs u might have in ur cupboard now is not of the horrible concoction it was a few decades ago.
"...at least people still like his cornflakes. But wait! The cornflakes we consume today are not John Kellogg�s corn flakes. They are actually an adulterated version of his original creation, spiked with sugar and who knows what else. In fact the Kelloggs� breakfast cereals were manufactured by his brother Will Kellogg, whom he sued for trotting out the Kellogg name on something much more palatable than the original crap served up at his Battle Creek Sanitarium. No doubt this insidious corruption of American breakfast cereal explains why Americans are the horny bastards they are today."
hahaha... Oh yeah i juz discovered that the Freudian Theory, which all business students learn about, comes from this sicko called Sigmund Freud. U dun wanna know more about him.
That bloody sicko
Nothing i do will make you stay, or change ur decision in any way (weak rhyme not intended)
Well at least i gained a book...
I hope u will miss me.
Here, freak urself out...
Genital herpes is caused by a virus that affects approximately one in six Australian adults. But there is help available. Medications can help minimise the symptoms and spread of genital herpes. Your doctor can provide the best advice on which medication is right for you.
Sorry, i was wrong about the One in Eight info i got from FHM. Apparently it has increased. Good luck in fucking ard with Australian gals!!! And remember what i said, the Singaporean girl there prolly got pretty excited with Caucasian men so fuck her and u will end up with HERPES as well. If so please remain in Australia and not to worry about finding a partner! U can click here!!
I read the webbie and this is under the section "humor"
If my life had a slogan, it would be:
(A) "Get a piece of the rock."
(B) [Kool-Aid Man voice] "Oooooh yeah!"
(C) "Still legal in 32 states."
(D) "Mormon approved."
What the?
Australians have a warped sense of humour. Thats what u get from sleeping at 9pm everyday.
Read The Full Article
The previous entry was a rather cynical one... Well i think i would have offended some ppl, but hey, thats what Blogs are for... Outlets for our expressions. Today's blog shall be a happy one!!!
Firstly, i msged Eddy, who was in Malaysia for the long holiday (by himself!! he said he wanted to try travelling alone) all the way till monday.. So sian cant see him for the weekend... And Eddy replied quite sweetly. OK FINE itz nothing much actually but i shall read it to myself in a loving tone to make myself happier. LOLz yup i'm a master of self deceit. I am TALL and BEAUTIFUL.
Anyway, today as I was watching Pokemon with my bro, i thought that it was juz really cute that the only noise Pokemons can make are to say their own names. This week's special Pokemon is a CHINCHOU!!!
Click here if u cant see the pic
LOLz
The producer didnt realise the striking resemblance of the name to a certain drink in Singapore huh? As the show went on i kept imagining that the pokemon was asking for a cup of refreshing chinchou drink.
Pokemon guy, Ash, or something: "Oh, u are back!!"
Chinchou: "Chin chou!!"
Ash: "i just want to to know that we all will miss u, no matter how long u go away to the sea..."
Chinchou: "Chin chou...."
Ash: "Well do take care my friend, and come back soon!!" *sheds a tear*
Chinchou: "Chou...."
Ash: "FUCK LAR ENUFF ABOUT CHIN CHOU ALREADY. NOW THE 'IN' DRINK IS VANILLA COKE NIA!"
Chinchou: "Chin chin chou!!!!! CHIN CHOU CHOU CHIN CHIN!!!" (translates to: I like Chin chou cannot ah?")
Okie i'm so bo liao. Wahahhaha... Heres pictures of my 2 fav pokemon!! Yeah, i notice they both are pink. If not why i like them?? LOLz
Click here if u cant see the pic
Jigglypuff: "Jigglypuff Jiggly...." (translate: Wendy i love u too...)
Click here if u cant see the pic
Smoochum: "Smooch!!" (translate: Smooch!!)
They love me too!!!
Sometime ago my RVHS senior told me some stupid jokes, and i asked her where she got them from. She told me, The Secular Web's forum, and thus i went there. Woah. Lotsa SUPER CHEAM stuff. I was intimidated and decided I dun feel like feeling dumb then, so i will come back another day.
Today is the day i have decided to brave the intelligence storms. (after feeling pretty dumb about not doing well for AM)
I have never believed in the existence of a superior being. I have the same religion as God (if he existed), and I'm an atheist, meaning I think that theres no superior being above me.
I think i shall ask my kids to believe in Wendism. Who knows, it might spread and I will become worshipped as a God in future. When my kids are like 5 or ard that age, i will tell them, (when it is dark and they are scared), "LET THERE BE LIGHT." (Thus i turn on the lightbulb and at the same time snap fingers)
And there was light.
"See, Mummy is God."
"Wow.... Mummy u so li hai..."
Ok enuff crap. Heres an interesting one:
By Jinto.
Q1: Can God create another God?
A: Yes. He may or may not choose to make this god omnipotent. If he does choose to do this however, it is important to note that this second God would have the ability to destroy the first God, being that he is also all powerful. I can imagine that they would set up some knd of mutually assured destruction process in order to ensure that they don't kill each other over the following:
God1: Ahh, cheese.
*cheese disappears*
God1: Hey, who moved my cheese?
God2: Hehehe.
Q2: Can God create a god more powerful than himself?
A: No. Since omnipotence means the power to do all that which is logically possible, it is not possible for a being to exist (created or not) that is more powerful than an omnipotent being, and it would be no more possible for Him to create this than it would be for Him to create a square circle.
Q3: Can God destroy himself?
A: Yes. In fact, if you listen to Scott Adams in his book God's Debris, it may be his only logical course of action. Little interruption here i would like to say that Scott Adams is my personal fav author, aka author for Dilbert. Pls read his books they are DAMN funny =)
Q4: If God destroyed himself, would we notice?
A: That depends on whether or not He took care of his own debris, wouldn't it?
Q5: Can God create a rock so heavy he cannot lift it?
A: The only way to do that would be to first limit His power to lift rocks to a finite value, in which case He would no longer be omnipotent.
Q6: What makes you think you're qualified to answer questions about God's omnipotence when you don't even believe in Him?
A: Arrogance.
Wahahahahhahhaha... I love it.. Although the rock question was not answered very well... Indeed, i would like to ask a priest some day. Another entry is v good too, and itz alot more chewable for the rest of us who dun real know terms such as Agnosticism, Abrahamic, denunciations etc etc (p.s. those are random cheam words i found)
Check Spenser out. His english is rather rambling so do make an effort to read it coz it does make sense in the end. And i like the way he says "silly"... it somehow sounds loving, LOLz..
So does Jesus fart? hmmm... Food for thought...
Theology @ 4am is another truly good one... perhaps if u can answer his questions, u can always drop me an email and i will publish ur answers, alternatively, u can answer to his thread...
Well enuff said about God, who is very far away anyway. Lets talk about something nearer, namely, City Harvest.
Who goes to that church? Well i'm gonna insult ur church and theres nothing u can do about it.
Anyone who takes bus 242 or 99 or drove pass jurong west st 91 would prolly notice this majestic building with a big fountain that looks like it could go with a country club anytime. Bustling crowds queue up to go in... They are dressed in formal shirts and pants, or for females, A-line skirts, and hey, all of them have big smiles on their faces... And itz no wonder they are so happy! The majestic building is going to build a GYM in it soon! The shiny metal letters read big and proud: CITY HARVEST CHURCH
Wow~~~ What a grand church!! So proud to be going to it man!! oh, but who pondered on where the money for these lavish luxuries come from, and is there any other better use for the money? Like, perhaps going into the courage fund? Instead of building a bloody big fountain?
Inside, the pastor is probably preaching about how we should all help the poor and not spend our money on luxuries.
My ass. Thats He Yao Sun's husband and needless to say, he is bloody rich. From both the records, and the money the dumb church ppl gives. Did they really think God will be happy with the donations used to build a grand church? A whooping US28 MILLION dollar project? Imagine how many African kids that would feed.
Did u hear about Sun sueing some fellow who said she used the church to generate sales for her records? Of coz, the rich and powerful will always succeed in their lawsuits as the onus of falsality lies on the defendant, plus, the defendant in this case did not have the excess cash to fight an expensive lawsuit with her.
So he had to publish a letter to say sorry to her. Ah well. itz ok we all know he is telling the truth anyway... Itz really irritating how the City Harvest kids keep pestering us to buy her albums. And no wonder they are selling so well, i heard some members bought like 20 copies each to distribute, free.
With that I conclude that God disapproves of Piracy as well. Why did he let us invent cdrw if he was omnipotent? LOLz this is irrelevant.
Anyway if this entry offended anyone, i didnt mean to aim it at Christians in general as i do, in the end, think it is a good religion. I juz dun like City Harvest Church. These are juz my views and if u had any feedback, do click on the email link above!! =) I do want to hear different views.
Have a nice day and i hope Sars hit City Harvest so it has to be closed. Irritatingly XF and PY stays there so i go there v often. =P
Prof Seah...
I was just thinking about what u said about either Ace-ing, or Failing this kinda exams. Somehow it has spurred me to Ace it coz i dun believe that i cant do well in a 'simply memorising' kinda exam. I cant lose to the armpit-poly-kids!! So, well, i'm studying hard now!! I wish the bloody subject needs some brains to understand so it will be more interesting but no... itz jus plain memorising... Thanks for being the pillar of support anyway!!
Although i spent too much time chatting with u just now.
Meanwhile hope u do well for ur paper as well....!!
Lotsa luff, Wendy...
*This is a boring blog entry*
Today i went out with my family to Changi. Its not what u are thinking, baby, my family is not into Drags. We went there to eat, and visit my dad's friend's place.
And speaking of drags, i cant believe Simon juz said that Trenyce looks like a drag queen!! (confused? time u start watching American Idol.) SO mean, haha, like me!! Cool...
Tml is my advertising exam, and guess what i came across in my lecture notes (which i didnt read until today) about Brand personality (A.k.a the kinda image the brand would give if it were human)?
Kellogg�s Corn Flakes
A woman who dedicates her life selflessly to the well-being of her family, but retains her sense of proportion. Your mother.
WAHAHAHHAAAHHA.
I know i have a weird sense of humour, but i think the Your mother part sounds really rude!!
NI LAO BU!!
LOLz
