I sent the email to Eddy already. And i even told him the blog's address. The male celebrity of my blog is possibly reading this at the same moment as you are.
Hello, Eddy!~
This is what I wrote. If u are interested to read.
Dearest Eddy...
It has been some time since we last met up.
I was just thinking the other day, where is this friendship going to end up?
The scenerio now is as such:
- We do not have any mutual friends.
- You do not view me as a potential girlfriend.
- We are not THAT close as normal friends.
Since we do not have mutual friends, obviously the chances of having a reason to meet up will be lessened by a lot.
Since you do not view me as a potential gf there goes another reason for meeting up often.
We are not that close as friends. I'm sure u have many many other friends who are of the same 'friend' status as me. Whats one less?
In conclusion, as time passes by, the friendship will fade off to nothingness. A reason like "to keep the friendship" is not a good reason for making an effort to keep in contact.
Can u imagine when you get married, and u invite me to ur wedding dinner, who should I sit with? Uni frens? Or a table specially for "Lone-ppl-I-met-at-weird-occasions-who-don't-know-any-of-my-other-friends"? Can I choose to sit beside you instead on the bridal table?
You know that I like you.
Alot.
As much as I know that you dunch like me in that sense. Even if u once did feel something special, you have purposely let it die off. For what reason, I dunno. All I know is that now the chemistry is all gone, and now it feels funny to plain "meet up for dinner".
Or perhaps, the special feeling that I thought u had was all in my imagination. Maybe u are that happy when u are out with everyone. =) Maybe even if u seem happy when u are out with me, it doesnt mean u feel something special for me. It just means, well, u are happy, and u will remain happy if our relationship remains as friends.
I think our friendship cant really last much longer. It is really saddening but it cant be helped. I'm sure I'm not the only one who finds u nice. Everyone else does too. So many ppl like your company. They are all fighting to have dinner with u, and dinner only happens once a day! I cant seem to be able to meet u nowadays.
If only the youngest wins the fight huh? Haha
I imagine when u got into nus to get ur masters, you will definitely be like the cutest guy in the class. And the cutest gal will be smarter, wiser, more mature and eh, cuter, than me. If she isn't attached and she likes you, her chances of being attached to u is much higher than mine, no? My point is that you wouldn't like me. I hope u will rebuke this point.
And "masters friends" will add to friend list. U will only have so much time for friends and if I got like 1/617 of ur time now, I will possible have like 1/893 very soon. Thats not counting the transversite friends u will be meeting when u go to Thailand for ur vacation.
I guess before the friendship shrivels to an end, I want to know ur feelings towards me.
Since guys are always tongue-tied answering these kinda questions, I guess I can give u multiple choice.
A) I dunch like you in that sense and I dun mind the friendship ending, actually. In fact, asap will be best.
B) I dunch like you in that sense but can we try to remain friends? Normal platonic friends? Stop lusting about me!
C) I like u somehow but I just dun think we should be together coz career comes first. However if I must choose someone to marry it will be you.
D) I like your body only. Lets be fuck buddies.
E) Wendy I have been in love with you all this while, cant you tell! Lets get married despite the weak pun on our wedding banner. (ie Wendy and Eddy are married)
Eddy if u are reading this and u are horrified that I write everything on my blog, do not worry coz ur reply will be kept private. =) Especially if your choice is D. Wahhahahhaha!
To every other reader: Can u all gimme ur opinions on this please? Continue liking Eddy, or move on to Bernard? Leave comments.
No, if I be together with Bernard there will NOT be free Char siew noodles for you.
Itz another typical day working at New Park Hotel.
Heres a typical waiter at New Park Hotel stealing Fox candy to eat.
As you all can see I am very excited indeed about my camera to go ard taking bo liao snapshots at non-aesthetic subjects. Oops! So mean. Wahhahaha...
And before blog writing, it was just another typical day parked in IRC.
[blurboi] hi there
[blurboi] how are you?
[Xia`xue] u are?
[blurboi] mi 22/m/ch
[blurboi] you?
[Xia`xue] when u are 22 u are no longer a "boi"
[blurboi] but i am realli 22
How totally irrelevant. Did I even say that I didnt believe he is 22? God bless the irrelevant. Whats worse is that they really do not understand how they are being irrelevant. SP has a lot of irrelevant ppl. Androgenous Aaron is one of them.
Typical scenerio:
Typical Teacher: Class, why is the sky blue? Ah, you! At the back! (Teacher doesnt know what she is in for!)
Typical irrelevant person: Coz teacher, the grass is green.
Typical Teacher: Huh? How are the two linked?
Typical irrelevant person: Huh what u mean by how link? Coz grass is green then sky is blue lar! Coz u are ugly thats why u are not married lar! Same what! (Please note the analogy is irrelevant as well)
Typical (female) Teacher: *thinks: WTF. I already go for surgery liao u still say i ugly. U even more fucking ugly! Fucking disgusting buck teeth with so many pimples! Fucking adolescents think they damn smart. If I can I will slap ur freaking teenage face with a large trout!* Instead says: Thats being rude. Please watch your behaviour!
In this kinda typical scenerios you can see the Irrelevant are so irritating that no one bothers to correct them any more.
They end up marrying their kind coz no one else can tolerate (or understand) them. Their only point in getting married is to have sex coz they can't really understand each other as well.
Wife: Dearie go buy butter.
Husband: Huh? Butter use to put on bread one what. Buy for what?
Wife: Huh? Butter put on bread, then kettle oso use for boil. Means Kettle oso muz buy lor.
Husband: Kettle is used to boil coz it is meant for it. Just like my little brother here meant to make u feel... happy... *takes off wife's clothes*
And no one buys the butter. Or Kettle. Was the kettle needed?
Their kids might actually miraculously turn out to be relevant ppl when they are born but obviously they turn irrelevant when they keep interacting with their irrelevant parents.
Mum: Baby why is the sky blue? Tell mummy?
Kid: Coz the sky is utimately far away and since light has different wavelengths and blue light's wavelength is the shortest, it gets scattered around much more than all the other colors from the sun, causing the sky to appear blue.
Mum: *frowns* Thats not correct. It is coz the grass is green.
Kid: *confused* But mom y is the grass green?
Mum: Huh coz the clouds are white!
Kid: Oh! I get it. So the clouds are white coz, ah, donkeys are brown!
Mum: Zhen cong ming!
Dad and mum finally cant tolerate each other and divorce. Their kids are irrelevant thus they are not well-liked. Thats makes them a tad cynical. The kids are oso traumatized coz mum and dad are divorced and whenever they ask their parents "Do you love me?" the parents give replies like "I love donkeys."
The kids are confused. They are morbid. They possibly turn out like this. In fact, they even start to LOOK like donkeys coz they thought mum and dad likes donkeys. LOLz
These kids hate the world and they are the ones who all migrate to Iraq and help Saddam bomb towers (oops was osama right) and build his nice torture chambers.
Terrible indeed. Next time ur friend is irrelevant, kick his balls to make sure he doesnt have kids in future like the above mentioned. If a gal is irrelevant itz okie coz she may be trying to act cute.
EEEEeeeeeks! I dunno if u can actually see all the text but I know I cant view my own website.
Dunno what is wrong. Think got too much pictures liao den cannot load properly. All I can see is the pink background and the info ends at the guestbook thingy. Thats it. So sickening. I will try to save it later.
Now must prepare for work liao. Sian... Bernard's not coming to fetch me. I think. Hahhaha... Anyone else wants to come?
If u can see this, leave a comment in the comment box to tell me that my blogspot hates me and is blocking me from reading it.
There is too much excitement in my life recently. In fact, Ah dong and PY commented that my blog is gonna get into disarray with Bernard around. True he is taking up pretty much of my time recently.... Lets just hope that he will be worth the time consumed.
Besides Bernard, whats the second big excitement?
Did I really forget to mention that I bought my SONY CYBERSHOT U20 (rose/pink) the day before?!!! Gosh, itz a long dream finally come true. If u do read my blog u would know how long it has been since I fantasized about it.
Here is the baby...
Actually I took that picture in my room with a mirror. Quite successful right? I decided to airbrush away the surroundings so that the it gives me an angelic feel. If u are thinking at this precise moment, "Angels dunch go around taking nude photos of themselves", you are right.
U are right that Angels dun go around taking nude photos. But I was not nude. I was wearing a white tube to add to the angelic feeling but somehow it didnt turn up. Dammit. I look nude.
Thats not the point. The point is, is my camera or hers nicer?
Wahahhahha. Hers u say. No. Mine is nicer. Coz it is pink.
I bought my camera at $406 at a shop at Far East. Bloody hell that auntie damn jia lat one leh.
I asked her for the price and she said it costs $399. Thats relatively cheap coz the other stores are selling at $420 and are willing to cut it to $400 if I paid cash. I bargained till she gave me a good price of $390.
I took out the money to pay and suddenly she took out a calculator and said, "With GST it is $406 in total."
I stunned for a moment and decided I shall not let the cheatabug earn my money. I thought of a good excuse.
"Huh??! But Auntie I only got $400 with me leh."
She damn smart. She attacked poor Bernard.
"Ask your boyfriend to pay for you lor, 6 dollars only what." *smiles at Bernard with a 'U are not so giam right? U love her right?' face*
"Huh Auntie dun want lar I go check the other shops first lar."
Bernard: *takes out 6 bucks and put it on the table*
Auntie: *smiles like a manic*
Perhaps I should also mention that Bernard volunteered to pay $20 for my camera as a belated birthday gift. Damn nice right. After which he paid the Auntie another $6.
I wanted to buy a hp pouch for the camera coz the bloody original case costs $75. Fucking ridiculous. Just a silly leather case. So we went to a shop in Heeren to buy the case. I was utimately broke but I still had $20.74 in my bank account so I tried to use Nets to pay for the pouch, which costs $4.90. The fella at the counter said that purchases below $10 had to be paid with cash.
So Bernard paid another $4.90. He later paid for my food as well. Thats a grand total of $30.90 for a person who is not anyone to you. Nice.
And thats not counting the amt for petrol for biking me from Kembangan (thats where he stays) to Jurong like 4, 5 times with no complains. Nice.
Digressing a little, I would like to say that I got an UTIMATE big ulcer and I took a picture of it.
It may not be very clear but if u look carefully u can see it. Very painful! And it is not getting better. Dammit.
I want to talk about today. I went to PY's place wth Ah dong.
U see, PY and Ah dong are going to Ritz Carlton (banquet) to work with me this Friday. It will be their first time banqueting. Since I was an old employee there, I told the manager I wanted to bring in friends to work too. I know that Ritz's banquet is possibly not doing well coz of Sars.
Thus they will not waste time hiring not experienced ppl. So, in order to get Ah dong and PY a place as a silly banquet waitress, I had to bluff the manager that they are DAMN experienced and do not need any cumbersome training at all.
The cumbersome training would have to be done by me then. Spend like 2 hours teaching them everything about Banqueting. If fact, I am so used to being a bloody banquet waitress that I think I can actually write a book to educate ppl. It will be called Wendy's 1001 Banqueting Know-hows For Dummies.
Every hotel will buy my book and treat it like a bible. In fact, they will pray to it after I die. The managers will be so happy that they dun need to retrain every employee with the exact same speech. All they need is to shove my book (aka banquet bible) into the recruits' hands and test them after that.
"Manager what should I do with the fish head?!"
"Read BB (AKA Banquet bible. Banquet ppl have a weird fetish for short forms) page 49 index 2.11 'What to do with the bloody ugly fish head.'"
"oh okie." *Goes away enlightened*
Not only will I save the Hotel ppl alot of time and effort, I will set the standards for banqueting. You will soon hear things like this.
Guest 1: "Wah lau that sharks' fin is not served in the correct way!"
Guest 2: "Huh how u know? Serve Sharks' fin got correct way one meh?"
Guest 1: "Got! U nv read the Banqueting Bible (they all term it the BB coz the real name is too long and no one wants to be called a dummy) penned by Wendy meh? She say must serve anti-clockwise with ladle tilted 45 degrees from the lazy susan (that turning piece of glass. Make a guess who invented it) and more than 2 drops of Sharks' fin dropped renders the waiter a completely useless one. Most likely he will drop an abalone later too."
*Waiter drops a piece of Abalone when he hears the above.*
Guest 1: "See I told u she is good. She is damn famous oso. Read her blog at xiaxue.blogspot.com!"
Guest 2: "Ahhhhhh... I will tonight. Hey wait! Thats my abalone!" *cries*
Good idea huh. What gives me the right to write the book? Lets see the hotels I worked at before.
-Ritz carlton Millennia
-The Pan Pacific
-Marina Mandarin
-New Park Hotel
-Sheraton Towers
-Orchard Parade Hotel
-Marriot
Wahahhaha... Thats quite a bit. Anyway today on my way to go to PY's place, something happened.
I walked a good 10 minutes to the bus stop to go over to her place then I realised that my EZlink is most likely empty and I do not have cash on me. At all. I checked and realised I only had 55 cents.
I didnt want to walk back to get the money coz it is so damn hot and oso I was very late.
The ATM machine was just near by so I tried to get some money outta it. As I mentioned earlier, I only had $20.74 left. And the minimum withdrawal is $20. I didnt know that the minimum amount left in the bank is supposed to be $1 or something. Dammit!!! I just needed that 26 cents more!
At this precise panicky point of time, something very typical happened. The bus came.
I ran for it, praying that my EZlink miraculously topped itself up. I tapped the bloody thing and it replied annoying with a loud *TEHHH*.
I took out the 55 cents, put it in and walked to the back, trying my best to act like I am a secondary school student.
It didnt work of coz. The bus driver asked me to show him my student pass. I said I didnt bring. He said I muz pay adult fare. I showed him my empty wallet and said that i didnt have any more money on me.
He accepted the 55 cents and told me to remember to bring the bus pass in future.
I must say that the uncle is very nice indeed, but I was just wondering something. If I didnt bring my Bus pass (which is oso an EZlink now), what was it I used to tap just now? If I was really a student I would never have bought the adult Ezlink so the one in my wallet (which has no money) must be my bus pass.
LOLz.
Heng he didnt realise this and force me to show him my Ezlink. It would have this fellow's face on it.
It is my brother. Act stylo like EK lor. Wahahhahaha...
When the bus driver sees this I would have to explain to him that I shot up overnight and I went to Thailand to get a sex change.
Oh man what a long blog entry. It is to compensate for the few days of not writing. All Bernard's fault, hahahha.
Oh yeah obviously I took some of his pictures. He kept avoiding the camera by turning to the side so it resulted in alot of pictures like this:
Please note the gold chain. Welcome to the world of Ah bengs. Lolz
LOLz.. What is it with all the anger here? hmmm... My blog is supposed to be a happy one. And a happy one it is. Any angrier and it will become like the whats-her-name?'s blog.
Ok whats-her-name is just some silly teenager (possibly angry coz she got some zits). Can we be bothered with such ppl? No? so yeah, lets drop the topic.
And yeah whats-her-name if u are still reading my blog, go away and stop reading it coz nothing will be mentioned about u after this. U are just interesting for like half an hour, of disgust.
Okie for happier ppl here, I didnt write my blog yesterday coz I stayed over at Bernard's place. Hmmmm.. What did we do? Nothing much actually. We cant do much coz I had my period anyway. Oops!! Too much info. No lar... Hahhaha.. I'm not that much a slut.
But things went pretty well between us.
I was just thinking that if I suddenly get attached, what are the consequences?
Less time for most friends.
I will be grilling Char siew after school at Geylang Lorong 13. (bernard's dad owns a coffee shop at the said place and he sells Char siew noodles and bernard works there too.) [BAD]
One exception will be that I will be spending more time with XF. She is extremely gleeful with the fact that we can double date and play mahjong together. Mahjong will not be a good idea for bernard though coz if I lose it will all go to his account. LOLz.
Certainly will be glad for the excuse to get closer to XF again. Although in name she remains my best friend (this true only for my side. Xf's best friend is prolly Hui fen. Wahahhahaha!), we have never been as close we were in secondary school, somehow. [GOOD]
More endorphins.
You know why. And more endorphins means I will be a happier person in general. [GOOD]
I might die from the predicted bike accident. (see previous blog) Not only that, I will be wearing jeans/pants all the time. No more skirts. [BAD]
No more admirers who will do nice things for me. [BAD]
Lets see who are the self proclaimed admirers so far.
- Lut. I think he really likes me but I dunch like ponytails on guys. Hmmm.. Guess I would have to break his heart. Anyway he didnt do much to "chase" me. In fact, when he called me up, he actually has the nerve to ask me why I don't call him. I told him he was supposed to be the one calling since he claims he likes me.
He replied that it is the 21st century and gals can do the chasing as well as guys.
??? What the?? How come now become I must chase him??!
- Cai. Our dear doctor here (nus med student) may fit into the dream guy's avocation but once again, he claims he likes me but yet he doesnt do anything to try to make me touched or something.
He somehow has this thinking that a lot of other guys are chasing after me. He says insecure stuff like "Wanna meet me? U can say no coz I know u got alot of other guys dating you."
I was thinking a donkey possibly has more self-confidence than him. I told him what he said is not true and he refused to believe it. He proceeds to say irritating stuff like "U so pretty, so cute, how is that possible?" Well, it IS possible coz only he seems to think that I am pretty and cute.
Bleah. I dunch like inconfident men. And anyway, if only he knows that they are not doing anything about their self-proclaimed love, like himself.
- Hatasan. Hmmmm... Well u can only like a person so much by reading her blog. I dunch think he likes me anyway.. Just some interest. Will fade off soon I guess. James, u seem to have like so many other sexy gals in ur life anyway. =)
- Daren. This guy is good. I told him I am not interested in him and yet he still messages me. Please note that I do not reply the messages. He has done this for like a month already.
- Yiqiang. He is in army now so he cant do much except to call at 1030 pm, when I am constantly not free to talk.
- Okie fine the list ends here
I was just thinking how come nowadays guys just plain refuse to be super nice to girls anymore. Or maybe it has nothing to do with 'nowadays'. Maybe it has to do with age.
Perhaps it is far more silly for a 25 yr old man to put a big teddy at a female's doorstep with a bunch of roses and a nice poem like "Roses are red, violets are blue. I love you, coz my love is true" than a 15 yr old boy.
Has the 25 yr old stopped to consider that not only will the female be more touched since it is so silly and yet he did it, it is also easier for him to do the above because he is richer and possibly can drive already?
Haiz... All men care about nowadays are themselves. Of course. How many guys can actually do stuff for a gal knowing, FOR SURE, that she will never be with him, but did it anyway coz he wants her to feel happy? I know i can't. I would want some tangible rewards. Like sex. (Is that all u think about???!!! *nods*) Boy am I glad I am not a guy. I would certainly have added to the jerk count.
But I am a gal. Gals are meant to be pampered, so there.
I ask some of my ex-admirers why they claimed they like me yet they do not do anything to try to make me feel special. They all said that they dunch want to be wasting their time when they noe I wun be with them. So they just sulk around. And till they think that I might agree to finally be with them, they dun waste their precious time, money, and effort on me.
Perhaps as men grow older they realise that women are simply not worth the effort coz they are manipulative creatures. Although she doesnt like you, she still would act as if she likes u a teeny bit to make u drive her around, run errands, do pedicures, buy LV bags etc.
Men want women to show outright that they (women) are in love to conjure a reason for them (men) to be extra nice to the ladies. But this is silly coz if the woman show outright that she likes the man, there is no need to be extra nice as she would agree to be his GF already. -_-
In the end no one is nice to each other. Only silly little 15 yr old boys buy big pooh bears to place outside doors.
I think guys should be nice coz the little secret here is that most of the time the gals would seriously be touched and would agree to be ur gfs finally. (more about this later)
After which quarrels will break out coz she will complain that u were not as nice to her as u were when u were wooing her. She would demand pooh bears outside corridors everyday and u will be broke. And that leads to another reason for her to break with u...
Vicious cycle. The point here is, buy little pooh bears so that u can afford one per week or so.
Speaking of nice guys and whether gals will accept them finally. There was once this guy called Adrian (not the one in love with XF, another one) who liked me alot. He was ultra nice to me and all, but i decided I just dun like him coz he got bad breath. And I cant possibly tell him he has bad breath.
Digressing a little, bad breath is very lethal (weak rhyme not intended) coz it makes u feel a little nauseous when thinking of kissing the person.
So up till today, unless he reads my blog, he is totally baffled as to why I dun like him when he is not-very-ugly, smart, rich and a commando. Actually commando or clerk doesnt matter to gals but guys seem to find it a big honour to be a commando. So yeah. To me, the only difference is the pay. Blame for for being realistic here will you!
Well but possibly he is fighting his ass off at East Timor or Iraq now so it doesnt matter anymore.
And speaking of nice guys.
When I was 15, I knew this burma guy from banqueting. We got together but i lost interest in him like super fast. His name is Aung Myo. If u know an Aung Myo, its possibly the same guy. Aung Myo may be the most popular name in Iraq or Burma but how many Aung Myos can u get in S'pore?
I was working at Sheraton Towers Hotel during my sec 3 end of year hols. It was 1999 when I was in sec 3, and stepping into the Millennium. I chose to work on 31/12/1999 coz there was double pay. Celebration would come after work.
Aung Myo did not manage to book for work that day, but he requested for me to spend the passing into the millennium with him. I said "Uhhhh, see how."
Later during work I msged him with my nokia 3810 (what 3810? U dunno one lar, one or those big black phones) to tell him that I will be spending my Millennium celebrations with gal friends and not him. He subsequently tried to call me alot of times which in turn, caused my phone to be drained of whatever battery life a Nokia 3810 has.
Later on I happily spent the Millennium with my friends till 2 am. I on my phone again to call my mum to fetch me from the mrt (she wanted to do this herself) and when she drove me to my house's carpark, Aung Myo called.
"Where are you?"
"Just reached home. Why?"
"Where got home I dun see you."
*gasp*
It seemed that Mr Aung has been waiting for me at my void deck for like since 9pm. He told me he tried to call me to tell me he will be waiting for me to get home to at least get a glimpse of me, but my phone was off.
Thats where he spent his Millennium. At a queenstown void deck. When the rest of the world is celebrating with champagne and bangalas trying to anyhow touch young gals.
The simple thought of spending the Millennium (millennium leh! How many millenniums can u get in ur life!) at a queenstown void deck was so flabbergasting that he managed to get an award for "Most touching thing a Guy did for Wendy."
The best is yet to be. (pun on acs' motto not intended.)
I called him with my home phone and he said he would like to meet me for a while. I told him I can't do that coz my mum would suspect something. He said he had a Millennium gift for me. Whoever thought of Millennium gifts?! But thats not the point. I told him to leave it in the corridor.
He bought this big balloon thingy (big balloon transparent) with 3 other small balloons and a Hello Kitty and Dear Daniel stuff toy inside. The Kitties are in wedding costumes. The balloon is so pretty! It is absolutely humongous (for a balloon) and it was filled with ribbons and such. Very sweet indeed.
Beside the Balloon was this Fann wong VCD (I liked her at that point of time. Forgive me, I was only 15.).
I felt SO bad. Finally I still broke up with him as I cant really force myself to like him when I dunch. Ah sad ending.
Oops I realised I digressed too much.
Later I will be meeting Bernard again and we will see if he is worth the 3 [BAD]s. =)
(to be read in newscaster tone.) shi er dian xin wen, zai wei ning xiang xi bao dao. *smiles*
Bernard is Ah dong's bf(Leonard)'s secondary school friend.
Ah dong and Leonard tried to set us up coz:
1) It somewhat feels fun to see their good friends meet each other.
2) They claimed that Bernard and I are both very crappy people. (thus compatible)
At first, Bernard seemed like an Ah Beng, complete with a bike, lousy English and the norm.
Before he first called me, there was another friend who kept calling me with a pte line and not identifying himself immediately. That friend is boring, so I always tell him I am busy with he calls. And usually I am really busy lar. Really.
Then Bernard called with a pte line and did not identify himself. I thought he was that said friend and for 3 days in a row I told him I am not free. On the 3rd day of rejection I decided I shall make small talk coz I very paiseh that I keep rejecting his calls.
So I told him that he sounds weird today.
He asked me whether I know who he is.
I realised that I dunch know. And things got a little better from there (a least we spoke!).
Yesterday he fetched me from New Park Hotel after work and Lo and Behold!!!! Not only was he there but Ah dong and Leonard appeared from nowhere too. And they acted as if it all was a big coincidence. *dry laugh*
We went to Geylang.
To eat.
And we biked around to look at the pros. There was this transversite (is this how to spell it?) who was so atrocious! He, with breasts, or maybe she, purposely touched his/her breasts to show Leonard and Bernard (weak pun not intended) when she crossed the road with us waiting for her to cross before we can move.
She is atrocious coz me and Ah Dong are sitted on the back seats of the bike and we are definitely within her sight and yet she trys to seduce our guys. That gal/guy needs to learn some manners!!!
After Geylang we (me and Bernard) left Ah dong and Leonard.
It was my first time on a bike. Yeah lar pretty lousy but the worse part of being on a bike, in my opinion, is that the speed feels like 120 km/h when it is only 60 km/h. Some may say thats a good thing. I say I dunch like the feeling of death flashing before my eyes.
You see, some time ago mum went to see a fortune teller who told her that I will get handicapped in a bike accident. *gasp* Pray for me or that means no more blogs for you! *double gasp*
Anyway I didnt die and I think I like another Ah beng!! How??
Bernard can really make me laugh. And he is cute. And I dunch think he is stupid. U cant really be very stupid if u are funny, in my opinion.
But Bernard is so NOT the dream guy that I have always wanted. Besides the humourous and cute part, I want my guy to be those very executive kind. Prolly highly educated and perferably a lawyer, professor or doctor (so that I can save on legal fees and so that I can term my husband Dr XX (sounds prestigious! Hahaha) respectively)
Dream guy should speak in fluent English so that he can bring me to French fine dining restaurants. Hey wait, thats wrong. I demand that he speaks French as well. In fact, I dunch even mind if he IS french, gosh. Dream guy will bring me on his yacht (which is pure white) and we will cruise around dressed in a white bikini for me and white berms for him. He will loosely hug me across the butt.
Hey wait that sounds like the credit card ad. But thats precisely the total image!! The one in credit card ads!! EDDY!! Ahhhhh! Except I dun look like the girl counterpart. I dunch FEEL like her. I dunch even SMELL like her.
It is all impossible with Dream guy coz precisely when he loosely hugs me across the butt, he will possibly say
1) "Bloody hell you have a lot of fats across your tummy."
*stares at my tummy while i try, unsuccessfully, to convince him that thats coz I am pregnant and he should propose, RIGHT NOW* He knows I am not pregnant coz since he is a doctor he actually knows the menstrual cycle and knows I should not get pregnant or something. If he is a executive he has fucked his secretary too and we both are pregnant so he doesnt know who to marry. If he is a professor... Hmmm somehow I am thinking along the lines of pederasty.
"Wendy, you should try to look like the lady in the credit cards ads coz I look like the guy in the credit card ads!"
"But the yacht is mine."
"Oh yesh dearie. I forgot u are earning millions coz everyone is paying to read ur blog nowadays. God, get me a laptop. I need to read it NOW! I am like SO addicted."
*slaps him* "Say I do not have a fat tummy or I shall tell the world about ur puny penis despite the credit-card-guy look."
"You have an June's and Xf's tummy combined, my dear fiancee" (please note he pronounces finacee in the authentic French way.)
Ok something is wrong with the above scenerio.
2) "I have a mistress outside coz u dunch actually own a blog which ppl pay to read", *pauses to roll eyes for effect*. "despite ur own vivid imagination and you do not complete the credit-card-gal image coz u are too fat, too short and DO not," *pauses to roll eyes again* "have the tummy of June and Xf combined, despite ur own imagination again. I am gonna divorce you and marry my mistress who is Xf and June combined. You cannot imagine her LEGS!!!
He shows me her picture.
"Oh Yikes!! Looks horrible! How come the combination is so yucky!"
"Oh! You are just jealous!"
He den proceeds to sue the shit outta me coz he is a lawyer.
(june I take it into ur good humour that u dun get pissed over the pic. Just a joke! If u are, sms me. Will take it off... Actually u look quite nice with XF's nose. Hahhaha.)
3) "I am not a credit-card-guy. Congratulations! U are the winner of a reality TV show and I'm actually a construction worker."
He proceeds to build a nice complicated Lego house, while i watch, wondering bitterly why I nv noticed that Dr XX can build such good lego houses.
"In fact, I'm the construction worker who flashed at you some time ago." He nods. "I read your blog." He hangs his head low. "I'm sorry if I freaked u out, in more ways than one."
Ok so u guys got the idea about the Dream guy thingy. I digressed too much. And Bernard is not dream guy material. But I somehow like him!!! Dammit.
Bernard stopped studying when after his Os coz (i presume) he doesnt really need to study so much. His dad owns some coffee shop in Geylang and sells relatively successful char siew noodles. I think it is totally unfortunate that his dad does not sell pasta instead. I will be with his son in a jiffy if he sold pasta.
But thats not the point. The point is whether I should be with him despite him not being Dream guy material. Will he be another Ah beng boyfriend? Hmmm... Perhaps I will decide tonight. He is coming to fetch me from work. =)
Meanwhile, I am like FREAKING LATE FOR WORK NOW. More blogging later, ppl. Tata!
Oh yeah, for Eddy, I think I will write some confession letter to tell him i like him and see what happens from there. And yesh, if u wan to read it, I will copy the contents of my letter here as well.
Yeah yeah yeah!
Hurray!!! If something good came up from that gal's blog (read previous) it is possibly the fact that I copied her comments script. Which is something I have been trying to find for a long time! So please do leave comments!! Yeah yeah yeah!!!
I'm going out to work in a bit. More blogging when I am back. Anyway, I saw this Tee in yahoo auctions.
Cool huh? We bloggers (if u are one) should all wear it. And then random strangers will ask for your address. Hahhahhaa.
I think it is too big for me, else I will buy it and make it the 3rd T-shirt in my cupboard amidst the frilly spags and tiny tubes. T-shirts are important coz they are exam gear. And my two official Tees are simply not enough for the 4 exams I had this year.
