Oh no I didn't have time to blog yesterday. Lets start now.
Yesterday:
I got a shock when I reached Jurong east mrt.
Have u seen a more successful basker? Or are ppl at Jurong really so damn bo liao?
Recently I keep getting traumatized by ex boyfriends. You know June and I, we have alot of lesbian photos.
But I have never expected anyone to actually believe that she and I are lesbian partners. Well, stupidity is the only thing on earth that is really limitless.
I saw one of my exs quite some time ago at a Levi's store. The only thing I could remember about him is that he studied at Bedok ITE. And that I got together with him coz he stays very near my old house at Queenstown. He broke off with me coz he said that I was a little too ugly for him.
Aha. He is no hunk either. Oh yeah I forgot. Lets laugh at his cheesy name together. Shui Xiang. If ur name happens to be Shui Xiang too, I suggest u laugh at urself too, coz it is really funny. Anyway, he saw me at the Levi's store like 3 years after our adolescent affair.
My hair is longer, my pimples are gone, my double eyelids are miraculously there suddenly, I am taller coz I am wearing heels, and most importantly, I got make up on.
He took a look at me. I tried to siam. He took a second look and called out my name uncertainly. And then he started to look real excited and asked me for my number. He was not one to mince words. He said, "You got boyfriend now?"
I said I am attached. He asked me who my bf is. I said inside, changing.
June was trying the Levi's Type One jeans in the fitting room.
He said, "Oh..." and walked off a little, talking to his friend.
I sms-ed June to tell her to pretend to be lesbians with me. She sashayed outta the fitting room and gave me a hug, asking me "Dear, nice not?"
I smiled sweetly and said yes.
He looked so damn shocked. LOLz... Afterwards, he kept sms-ing me to ask me to patch with him but I told him not to sms me coz my gf is angry liao. Wahhahahaha! And he believed me!
Yesterday I saw him again when I board the mrt at Jurong east. I semi-freaked out, but he discovered me first, so there was no hiding. He started sweet talk and suddenly, he talked about our past. I totally freaked out. I told him that my friend was meeting me at the next mrt stop, Buona Vista, so I have to get off, see him again.
And I got off. Where got ppl so stupid one? Lesbians and both look like total females? Possible, but very rare. And 'lesbianic' when 3 years ago I was a normal girl liking guys?
After this I proceeded to watch The Hulk with James. OMG, please DO NOT WATCH THIS SHOW! Heed my advice, u wun regret it. I'm gonna talk about it. I dun care if I will spoil it for you, coz it can't be worse than it already is.
It is bad enough that the fella is a disgusting green. He looks like an over-ripe pistachio nut. I would like to mention that I personally call that nut Pikachu nut. Ain't i cute? LOL. Oh yeah where was I? Oh the movie is bad enough.
What is worse? THERE WERE ABSOLUTELY NO SEX SCENES! Can u believe the atrocious-ness of it! Ppl would tend to compare Hulk with the last Single Marvel hero show I guess. Thats Spiderman. No sex scenes! No Kristen Durst in transparent white tee shirt kissing, oh wait, a hulk?
The female is relatively ugly. I have this thing against Angmohs with black hair. I tink they look very evil. And she has this big mole on her chin. I dun like big moles on chins. And her boobs aren't 1/37359 as nice as Kristen's. WTF.
The lead guy has a flabby jawline, and bad complexion. He shld become the Hulk all the time. Suddenly complexion become so good.
Whats worse about the lead guy is that he wears very big purple underwear. The Hulk knows he is gonna become a giant and that his clothes will split, leaving him with only his underwear. Why HE STILL WEAR PURPLE!! Doesn't he knooooooooow that purple and green dun go together???! No wonder there were no sex scenes! It is such a turn off! But then again what kinda colours can go with green? Thank goodness we are not green.
13/15 of the show featured the scientific part of the how the Hulk became the Hulk. Which is BORING! Who cares about Nanomeds (what nanomeds?!) and gamma rays? There were no sex scenes! (Is sex all that u care about?! Yes.)
1/15 of the show featured the Hulk hopping around. This is actually quite funny if u imagine him to be a giant pikachu nut hopping around excitedly.
1/15 of the show showed slightly exciting stuff, eg fighting. Yawnz.
I was falling asleep as Dr Banner started to boil (yawn, whats new?) some evil concoction. Suddenly my phone vibrated. I took it out, and my sudden movement startled the angmoh siting next to me who was falling asleep as well. I dunno why I am telling u that. But I found it quite funny.
Anyway.
The sms read: "Can I woo you back?"
Eddy. Eddy. Eddy. Eddy. Eddy, I prayed. Oh wait, Eddy wun say cheesy stuff like that.
Sent by: Shui Xiang hp
I almost died on my seat. He had to freak me out with I was most vulnerable from watching a totally sucky show.
The show lasted for 2.5 hours, and by the time I took the last train to Jurong East, there was no bus to take home.
I decided the weather is nice. I walked. Its a 45 minute walking affair, if u are interested to know. Are u interested to know? But nvm, I already said it.
In the process, around 20 taxis who drove by stopped and asked if I wanted a ride.
Can't anyone take a scroll nowadays?!
Then this Indian guy, around 40 yrs old, asked me to get up his bike. Ignored him. He drove on.
And then this truck driver (Malay with a Bangala sitting beside him) wound down his window and whistled. I was talking on the phone to James, so I ignored them.
He stopped the truck a few metres in front of me. I HAD to walk pass his truck later if I wanted to go home. I was quite freaked out at that thought. And the road is very deserted.
Can't anyone take a scroll nowadays?!
I was forced to take a cab from there, so that I wun have to walk pass that freaky truck. The cab fare was $2.90, plus midnight charges. -_- Fucking horny men. I hope they all die.
Anyway, I bought another fake branded bag!
It is supposed to be LV's latest collection, Cherry Blossom, and the imitations can't be found in S'pore. I bought it from Yahoo Auctions at $150.
Today when I went to Orchard to shop, I realised that ALOT of ppl have fake branded bags. I guess I have suddenly reached the age where I start to fall in love with branded stuff all over again (read: since ah lian days) and since I can't afford the real thing (note my bag costs $1,600 I think), get the exact replica then.
I know the reason why so many females buy fake branded stuff. (I'm talking about those late twenties kinda women. And yes, their bags might be real, but I just refuse to believe it.)
Coz when I wear my (fake) LV bag, I feel like her:
When I wear my fake Gucci bag, I feel like her:
Ah, nice pubes. Dun stop me now. NOOooooOOoo! Dun stop me! Hand me the shaver! I am gonna shave my pubes into a LV logo!
Eddy, wanna see? LOL... Eddy nose bleed liao.
Anyway, I really like the bag alot. So far everyone who has seen it said it is ugly, except James, who was being polite of course. Why would men even give a hoot about ladies' bags?
I like it coz it is pink.
I like it coz it has happy flowers on it.
I like it coz it has this lock thingy that comes with a key! So cute!
Xf said my bag looks like a malay drum. She is just jealous. Hmpf.
Lets talk about wealth today.
Its sickening isn't it? Singapore is supposed to be democratic, so it means that everyone has a fair chance to be rich. Thats a whole truckload of bullshit.
Lets see what happens when u are poor, and not smart enough to be a doctor or lawyer etc. How do u get rich?
1) Start ur own business and see if it manages to succeed. Alright. So u start to import a kind of wondeful shampoo to Singapore. It is so wonderful, that it can totally make ur hair be shiny, smooth and soft. It is a tad more expensive coz it is imported though.
Its properties are claimed by YOU. Who would believe u? Who will even HEAR what u have to say about ur product? Ahhh.. Advertisements. Would ppl do your ads for free? No. You have no money. And to get ur product into guardian u already spent the loan from the bank. So no ads.
You can only pray for word of mouth.
Now, in the market for established goods, we can hardly find any where it is the perfect competition model (for those who dun take biz, it means the market share being split into relatively equal bits for alot of sellers). Mostly, there will be this very big MNC who will be barbaricly taking more and more of the market share.
How? Alright. Say in the market for shampoo, we have different needs dun we? Some want shiny. Pantene. Some want saloon style. Vidal Sassoon. Some dun want their dandruff. Head and shoulders. Some want shiny asian hair. Ascend. Some want a mild shampoo which wun hurt eyes. Rejoice.
So Pantene, Vidal Sassoon, H & S, Ascend and Rejoice all have a fair share of the market for their different target audience? Yeah right. They all belong to this disgustingly big company called Procter and Gamble. P & G. I know coz I once worked for them as a shampoo promoter. The building is so disgustingly big, and they are earning so much, that they can afford big plush cushions everywhere and a few playstations laying around for its employees to relax. Relax of course... Money is rolling in, why bother?
P & G not only semi-monopolises the shampoo market. Whisper and Pringles belong to them too. Among other household items.
Alright so attacking into an established market is out. Coz you would only get kicked out in a short while by the giants.
The solution?
2) Invent and sell something new.
The market for the new product is all yours! But problem is, what are the chances that you invent something unique? Actually it is not that difficult. Ppl have just put mushrooms, cheese or bananas on Roti Prata and got famous. I suggest u try putting yummy chicken on Roti Prata. Oh wait, thats murtabuk (dunno how to spell).
Alright. You invent a new product. It sells very well. AHA! Then comes the patenting part. You wun want ppl to copy ur business idea, would u? But patenting is very expensive. So u pray no one will copy you.
U wish. Look at bubble tea stores. All the copycats make them all fail.
In this case, u might want to choose to be the one copying instead. At least u dun need to go and think about inventing something.
3) Work hard ur whole life and hope u can get a senior position in big companies in P & G. Nobody is interested in doing this. It is relatively impossible unless u have had a very good education or is the boss' mistress.
4) Set up a multi layer marketing company. Please note I said SET UP. Not join.
Alright, for the rare few who has not been approached before, lets explain how the system works. It is fairly interesting.
Take note that we are now changing a perspective. Usually MLM is explained using the employee perspective. Now lets look at what the company earns. They always make it sounds as if the company is not earning anything, and wealth is shared among the employees. Hmmm... Lets see.
The company comes out with a cheesy health product, maybe oxygenated water or magnetic beds. Lets just take it that the profit earned from selling the bed is $1000.
The company urges u to join as the $1000 profit will not be split to advertisers, or middlemen, but to YOU. Sounds pretty good. Say outta the $1000 u sell, the company keeps 40% of it. It needs to buy new products and pay rent, it says. Fair enough.
$600 left. This amount of money would be shared among the A to B as stated in the picture.
Most MLMs have 5 layers, like in the picture. Lets call the bottommost layer A (thats the lousiest) to E (the guy who earns the most).
The system works this way. First, when u are just recruited, u are in A. When you help to sell a product by introducing maybe ur auntie to buy a magnetic bed, you earn eg 10 sales points. Your 10 sales points will help u go to level B.
From level B to C, maybe u need 30 sales points. But now, when u are at B, things are getting better! U can actually RECRUIT ppl, and ask them to help u sell! The ppl u recruit will be level A. Say u recruit THREE ppl, and they all manage to sell a bed. Thats 30 sales points ain't it? You can now officially move to C. Sounds easy!
Ppl want to move from A to E coz the commission would be more as u move up, amongst other reasons which u would understand when u read on.
Alright. What happens if u manage to recruit THREE people, but only TWO manage to sell beds? You get 20 sales points. Thats not enough to push u to C. But how about the two level A people whom u recruited and managed to sell 1 bed each? They move up to level B. Thats the same level as you!
If the two fellows u recruited now sell 14 beds each?? Aint that terrific news for you? Nope. Coz they are level B now. They are of the same level as you. So whatever they earn is theirs, since they are no longer under u.
You know only have 1 recruit left, and he does not seem to be able to sell anything. U realise that the system is flawed. You might choose to leave now, or sell 1 more bed urself, and go to level C. But ur 1st two recruits sold 14 beds already, so they are all the way up, no longer under you. U will choose to have more recruits again.
From C to D, u need 100 sales points. So most ppl are stuck somewhere here. Everybody is at level B.
Why is that good for the company?
U see, when someone sells a bed at level B and he is under no one, he earns a commission of say 11% of the profit. The 89% goes to the company. Thats $890 out the $1000 profit for a bed, instead of what the company promises at $400. MLM company owners are filthy rich, coz they got a lot of silly ppl working under them, helping them to sell.
When the level E ppl urge u to join, they always say that the company is very new, so theres plenty of chances for u to go to level E. They dun realise they are slapping themselves. Say a level E guy recruited a guy. He is very capable. He recruited alot of able ppl to work under him, maybe 50 ppl. They all are earning money (which is highly impossible but just a hypothesis), thus effectively pushing him to level D. As the level E guy who recruited this able man, u are very happy coz whatever he earns goes to u as well. Whatever whoever under him sells as well, goes to u. Every bed he sells, u get 14% of the profits.
AHA! The able guy now goes to level E! U lost the link coz he is the same level as you! Now whatever he or his recruits earn, does not belong to u at all. U can jolly well slap urself coz it was u who urged the able guy to sell more at first.
My point is, set up an MLM company. It is a cool invention to suck ppl of their money.
However to set up an MLM company all ur friends will leave u coz they are scared u sell things to them. They will come back when u are rich, of course. But to set up a reputable MLM, u need to have capital first. U dun have money, remember?
5) Marry a rich husband/wife.
Now u know why I work towards that goal. It seems like the easiest way to get rich. See ah, u marry a rich guy/gal, then u try to convince him/her to give u the money to set up an MLM company. And then u get filthy rich urself. If u dun love the guy/gal, u can leave him/her now. He/she is used to ppl making use of his/her money anyway.
After u get filthy rich from the MLM company, u can use ur wealth to buy another Ikea franchise! Ain't it cool that u can get staff discount to buy the furniture to decorate your Ikea outlet! Since the queenstown one is always jammed with ppl, I would suggest opening one at the east. Surely alot of ppl would come. Be sure to make the restaurant bigger though, we all love the meatballs.
Ah, in fact, if a whole Ikea is too expensive, just open a few Ikea restaurants would do too.
Please take note that even if u are the proud owner of an Ikea franchise, it does NOT give u the rights to go around asking ppl "Dong xi zai na li?"
The difficult thing here is, why would the rich guy (from now on it shall be guy coz I lazy to type for the female too) want to marry you?
Which explains why I am so vain.
Digessing a little, I would like to say that the world is very unfair. Eg u are a very rich guy. Would u marry a mediocre (is this how to spell?) gal? No way. There are plenty of gals who will like you. This is not beacuse of the money. It is because of the security you can give to the future family.
Out of the pool of gals, who would u choose to marry? Surely the prettiest and the smartest. Some argue that the 2 cannot exist together.
*points at self.*
*points at Xiao Feng*
There are plenty of smart gals who are pretty as well. And thats sickening.
So the rich guy marries the smart and pretty gal. Together, they form rich, smart and good looking kids.
So if u are a rich, smart and good looking kid, who would u marry?
The vicious cycle goes on. The rich, smart and good looking boys go to ACS, the rich, smart and good looking gals goes to MGS. They cross the love bridge and get together. Oh wait the love bridge is for St Joseph issit? Or what school? Nvm. Some blog readers are a tad too old to understand, heehee.
The smart and good looking boys and gals go to RVHS. They dun get married coz they are friends or classmates for too long.
Anyway my point is that the rich will keep all the good genes in the future. It is not fair! But I want to marry the rich too. Who doesnt? I want to wad in the good gene pool.
In conclusion, the whole chunk of words above suggests that the world will slowly get split up into 2. The rich, and the poor. The rich will remain richer coz they keep marrying the smart and good looking, and the poor will continue being poor unless they somehow turn out good looking. And smart.
I suggest communism before it is too late.
Woah how come the visitors to my blog today seem to be increasing ah... Its at least a 100 today liao.
Anyway, I had a good hair day today!
How great! A happy day always begins with a good hair day. But what good can a good hair day do if no one sees it? Everyone seems to be so busy today. Eddy is busy. June is sleepy. EK is swimming with sis. Xf is lazy to go out. PY is teaching tuition. James has (oh wait, it sounds wrong. James have? James plural? Urghhh...) a dinner date with someone else.
Only one person would be free after selling char siew. Thats coz his bike is under repair, and he would not travel without the bike. Thats right, its Bernard! I refuse to let the day go by without letting anyone see my good hair day. So I paid Bernard a visit.
I had a chance to ride on the bus 42 at Kembangan. I dunno why, but I felt magical when I boarded the bus. For those of u who have read Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy, you would know why! 42 is supposed to the magical answer to the question of life. LOLz
I got very amused by Bernard's mum's slippers coz these are the smallest Tat Sing slippers I have ever seen. Have you worn a Tat Sing slipper before? Tat Sing slippers seem to be taken over by trail slippers nowadays. Imagine the future aunties and uncles wearing Trail slippers, crossed coloured, one blue and one pink! OMG! Anyway, I have never knew they made Tat Sing slippers so small. Bernard says I am mad to go around taking pictures of bo liao things. But I really think it looks very cute, hor?
I dun feel like writing liao coz I think I wrote too much on the spoof. Maybe I will blog more tml. Actually I got some stuff I feel like writing.
Anyway why isn't anyone interested to be part of the spoof? Can just use it as a forum lor. Just tell me ur email add will do. See the little bouncy icon to the right? Click on it to email me, ppl!
I have done the spoof page liao!!! Its address is http://wehatexiaxue.blogspot.com
Can go see see!!
Anyone who wants access to it, notify me! U can take part in the spoofing! If u are interested in that, that it.
I'm too busy with it to write my blog, lol. June dua-ed me. She is supposed to go shopping with me but she is still sleeping or something like that. And I thought I was the ultimate pig. Nvm lar, I will go shopping MYSELF! Hmpf!
Later, everyone!
I have decided to spoof myself. I guess that would be fun. For everyone who likes to read my words but think I am hideous, think the page load too long etc etc, can visit the spoof page from now one. I will be working on it after I finish this blog entry, and this blog entry would be short. I think. I can never be sure.
As mentioned, today I was supposed to meet Eddy the Engineer. Eddy is pretty efficient as well. That makes him effectively Eddy the Efficient Engineer. However, Eddy's boss is not as efficient. He made Eddy stay back till 1030pm when Eddy was supposed to end work at 6 plus.
How wonderful. Who knows, maybe Eddy has decided on today, the 17th of June, to ask me to be his gf coz 17th of June only happens once in a year. It is a special day. However, coz of the bloody guy who asked Eddy to stay back, I have decided it is too late to meet and I didn't meet Eddy, thus also losing the chance of Eddy asking me to be his gf. Heck, maybe even wife!
It is all the guy's fault. I hate him. Anyway, at around 10 plus, my mum called to ask us if we wanted to go to JB with her friend and her friend's family.
We were supposed to go there to eat. My dad said it would be seafood. I decided seafood was worth sacrificing meeting Eddy, who is gay anyway. Actually he is not but he did not do anything so far to prove he isn't. I have never even caught him oogling at females before. This could prove 4 things.
1) He is gay.
2) His eyes are all over me.
3) He is far sighted.
4) He is in love with llamas/objects/dead people/flower pots etc instead of humans.
1 cannot be true coz I didn't catch him looking at men either. I dun think he is far sighted. So theres our conclusion. Either he is in love with me, or llamas. I put my bet on the llama. Gosh I feel like a flop.
Anyway, my mum's friend has a 4 yr old daugther called Samantha. She is ABSOLUTELY CUTE! And she keeps laughing and laughing. Me and my bro had a great time making her laugh.
Heres her pic.
Thats my mum at the background.
Anyway, Sam is really damn adorable. We were on the car (her daddy drives a BMW) and everyone was shag so she just kept talking to herself and smiling at everyone. She moved to show her mummy something, and when she moved, she knocked her knee on the thing in between the front seats.
She said, "Its okie, its okie!" chirpily to everyone.
Everyone looked at her. No one actually saw her knock her knee. Her mum started to laugh and said no one asked her if she is okie in the first place. Everyone laughed and suddenly Samantha gave her mummy a big kiss on her face! So absolutely sweet!
Alright. I will try to get Eddy to go out with me tml coz 18th of June only happens once a year too, perhaps tml will be the big day. But then again I asked June out for shopping. Alright, time to spoof!
Oh yeah yeah yeah I suddenly remembered a joke that I heard some time ago. I shall write it out!
A man was wanted to fly to country X. He wanted to bring his pet squirrel with him. However, pets are not allowed on airplanes, and he had no idea what to do with his squirrel. But he really really cannot sleep without his pet squirrel by his side. He can't put it in his suitcase coz they will scan it. So he decided on putting the squirrel in his pants.
He managed to get through to the plane, and felt very happy indeed and his evil plot did not get found out. He happily whistled as the plane flew.
Suddenly, a loud "OOOOOWWW!" filled the aircraft. An air stewardess quickly rushed the man's side and asked if anything was the matter.
The man replied weakly that he was fine and asked the air stewardess to go away.
"OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" screamed the man again. This time, he asked the air stewardess to leave him alone again.
The third time the man screamed, this time much louder. But the time the air stewardess rushed to his side, he was holding the squirrel by itz tail and slamming it repeatedly against the seat in front. He proceeded to dip the squirrel into boiling hot coffee. He took the squirrel and flushed it into the toilet bowl.
Every passenger was appalled by the man's cruelty. No one stopped him though, coz they were afraid of his fury. The air stewardess whimpered meekly to the man, "Sir, why were u so cruel to that squirrel?"
The man said, "The first time I screamed, Hazel (the squirrel) thought my balls were nuts."
"The second time I screamed, she thought my asshole was a treehole"
"The third time I screamed, she tried to bring the nuts into the treehole."
*****
the end!~ Laugh!
I'm very pissed with my computer. Yesterday, I wrote my blog entry happily. It was a rather long one at that. I took a break when I almost finished, and decided to surf a little. And guess what? Internet explorer hung. Great. All I wrote were lost!
I rewrote the entry a second time. This time, i told myself that blog writing is divine and sacred, the attention cannot be shared with other websites. After I finished writing, I pressed "post". Guess what happened? It showed "the page cannot be displayed". I pressed "back" as my sweat droplets formed on my forehead. This can't be happening again, dammit!
But it did happen. So there goes that previous entry. I am gonna try to rewrite everything now.
Valid for yesterday:
I'm a very happy gal today!
Heck, I'm mostly happy, but today started with a good hair day, and thats the beginning to a happy day! But the hell are u supposed to be happy when u wake up looking like an Afro ken? U may argue that Afro kens look perfectly fine but thats coz they are Afro kens. If the previous sentence doesn't make sense to u, read it 10 times over and it might.
As usual the pic is edited. But it still looks ugly. Anyway, I had a very huge pimple on my chin. If u squint u might see the airbrush marks. But no! My photoshop skills are too good.
U might say it is not a good hair day coz very obviously, one side is much longer, and curlier. I say you dunno my hair's temper. Today is fine. U say that u had enough about bimbo topics like hair. So we move on to other superficial topics.
Like money.
Muahahahahahha! The $200 I cheated has became real money! And I am gonna spend it shopping at the GSS!
Yesterday I went to Bernard's place. Nope, we are not together or anything, just friends. Bernard's dad bought us packet dinners. On Bernard's packet, it wrote: bernard.
On mine:
Wahahhahahaahhaha! I find it very amusing! Bernard has never told his family that I am his gf or anything like that but it seems that they have assumed it as such. I got so amused by being called "nu peng you" that I skipped violently from the kitchen to the room to take a photo while telling Bernard that he is doomed to be stuck with me now.
The dad watched the drama unfold, having no idea that it was his innocent labelling that caused all the pandemonium. I must have looked like a lunatic to him when I hopped into the room with the packet of pork chop rice. Bernard insists that his dad meant to buy the rice for S.H.E. Lame hor?
Anyway Bernard said that I look like Yvonne Lim when he saw the blog's background. Ahh.. Recently alot of ppl say the edited picture look like her. I dun mind. I think she is relatively pretty. Although I know that in real life I dun look like her, I still find it a cheap thrill that my creation looks like her.
In fact, this is Yvonne Lim.
You see the resemblance? Coz I dun. Lets try to photoshop her face a little. My eyes are smaller. I always put blusher. My nose is way flatter. My lips are not perky. yadda yadda.
Still dun look like, u say. I know. But I did put in some efforts to photoshop it, so although I failed miserabley, I shall still post it up. Thats coz there are crazy ppl who might say it really looks like.
The day before, I went to preorder The Order of the Phoenix, which is due to be out on Ek's birthday, 21st of June. She seems to take the coincidence as something to be proud of.
Anyway, EK really got into Law school! Thats great ain't it? Maybe I will set up a law column where u all can ask her questions regarding which laws u all can break. Of course, our lawyer friend will be too busy taking bribes to bother answering silly blog readers' queries.
To not let the law column fall into disarray, plus the fact that I refuse to admit that it is a flop, the answers will all be answered by me. Dun gimme that look that I will land u all in jail. I'm pretty good with Law as well. I got a B. Anyway u all will know when it is me who answer.
Qns: Mdm Enormous Ek the excellent lawyer, I would like to admit that I like Wendy's blog alot. I like all her pictures too. I would like to publish it as a book. I'm sure it would be more popular than Adrian Mole's secret diary. Can I just copy and put it all in? Will she be able to sue me for copyrights?
Ans (authentic): No, sir, I'm afraid u cannot do so without her sueing ur ass off. Copyright is the intellectual property right given to the creator of an original work. There are many forms of work and if u publish whatever she has wrote into a book, u will be copying the following:
-Literary works - Wendy's words.
-Dramatic works - Certain parts of her blog contains script-like elements.
-Artistic works - There are some of her drawings. And then there are her photos as well.
A copyright owner may enforce his rights by seeking an injunction againtst threatened infringement. He may also seek damages (meaning u have to pay) and an account of profit, if the infringer had made profits at his expense.
Answer (mine): Copy your head ah. I, I mean, Wendy, will sue ur backside off. Anyway my, I mean, her archives are fucking not working again. U wanna copy u copy lor. Try to right click and see what happens?!
Yup. Wonderful. Anyway, Ek is going to Melbourne soon, where Herpes are prevalent in one in every six Australians. Huh, you ask me whether the sheeps are safe to shag instead of humans? I dunno man! The best is to shag blow up dolls I guess.
EK asked me to attend her Law camp in place of her. I am frankly excited. I will bring translucent white tees only and make sure it gets all wet during the games! I will then try to seduce all the to-be-lawyers, which are no doubt dream guy material.
There is only one problem. What if all the real to-be-lawyers are all touring the world and they all asked their poly friends to take their place too?
Guy: Hi, I'm Josh!
Me: Hi, I'm Ee Kean!
Guy: I was from Hwa Chong. I was from the Waterpolo team and I am its captain. I take F maths. I am also my school's top student this year. Did I forget to mention that I am Prom King too? I stay at 6th Ave and my family has been lawyers for the 67th generation running. My grandfather is Lee Kwan Yew's cousin.
Me: Eh, I was from RJ. I have 4 As for my As. I play the bassoon for the school band which has won its 346th gold medal this year. I dun stay too far away from u. I stay in West Coast in a big 3 storeyed house!
Guy: Oh wonderful. U are of a high class breeding like me too. I like your Gucci bag. How much did u buy it for?
Me: Eh, $1,800. And thanks for the compliment. I like ur Bentley too.
*****
5 days later when I fell in love with dream guy.
Me: I have something to confess to you. The real Enormous Ee Kean is away in Melbourne. Possibly counting real sheep to fall asleep. I am from SP actually. My intelligence is only average, and I am definitely not of a high class breeding. In fact, I can't even play a musical instrument except the recorder. I dun even stay in a 3 storeyed house. I stay at teban gardens.
Guy: Huh that sounds like a condo to me.
Me: You idiot. It is not. Anyway all these are not important! Please tell me u dun think it is important.
Guy: Okie. All these are not important. Which part of EK is enormous?
Me: Generosity, to let me attend the Law camp.
Guy: I see... Erm, it doesn't matter that u cheated me. Coz Josh is in South Africa playing water polo against North Koreans.
Me: Why am I not surprised? Anyway what are North Koreans doing in South Africa?
Guy: No idea.
Me: Okie. So u from poly as well? This is Josh's yacht?
Guy: Poly? Nah. I dun need to study. This is Josh's yacht alright.
Me: Oh.
Guy: Haha you look disappointed. I dun study coz I am an Arab prince. Josh's yacht is a baby. I mean literally. Mine is over there.
*He points to Star Aquarius*
Guy: "Too crowded though. If not I would have brought you. The bentley's really mine though. Can u marry me baby? Coz I am so in love with you!"
Me, thinking of what Eileen said about Arabs (read 2 entries down): Yes yes please!
Oops why did the story develop into a happy one? Nvm lar. I am meeting Eddy for dinner at Ikea. We will be shopping for furniture for our future home. Yeah right. Just going there for the meatballs, haha...
More blogging tonight.
