I think I wrote too much in the past few entries. Can't imagine that one stupid story about Jonathon becomes 3 entries! Gosh. So I shall fill this entry with pictures. U groan and say that it will take a billions years for the page to load!
AHA! But good things got to wait one mah. Just go play minesweeper a bit and when u come back, the page is magically filled with my words.
Alternatively if u are one of those ppl who STILL dunno how the hell minesweeper works, u can go to Kazaa and download porn lor.
Anyway, today's theme will be kinky. It is UNIFORMS.
Ritz's
I look hideous in that pic and I am afraid no amount of photoshop can save me. And I suspect XF and PY wun like me to publish their pics too. Thus that jap girl's head.
Who is that jap gal, so pretty.....? Why, its me and my two twin sisters of course. And oh yeah dammit. I think I am really too much into banqueting. Notice I stood with that polite banquet pose!
New Park hotel
I tried to photoshop XF's pic... Looks a little weird to me... Nvm lar... Anyway the colour looks wrong. It shld be a hideous purple. Strangely, after I photoshopped XF's pic I felt like I am one of those designers hugging their models. Typically the designer is short, ugly and very proud of his work. I think I look like that in the pic.
Many of u asked me how the Tiger Beer uniform looks like. So I took a picture.
Not very sleazy right? Itz to knee length somemore. It may be interesting to note that Angmohs seem to love that uniform alot. Someone (a lady) once requested to buy it from me.
Okie I'm sorry the pictures are not kinky at all. LOL... I just dun feel like blogging.
Oh yeah I managed to kop bernard's extra hp for temporary usage.
I feel very pleased with myself. In fact, I dun feel like returning the hp to him at all. Perhaps I will pretend to quarrel with him and refuse to answer his calls. AND THEN THE HP WILL BE MINE, MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
OK I am going mad already.
Lets end this on a light and fluffy note.
Cloudy is absolutely cute, ain't he?
Yes, thats my foot alright.
Lets start the blog entry with today's events first. Oh no this entry is gonna be super duper long again.
Eddy the efficient engineer is no longer an engineer. He is an army boy all over again... Yup, reservist. I met up with him today for dinner with some of his army pals. Typically, I asked him whether his army friends are cute.
Typically he said yes, very cute.
U just can't expect a decent answer when u ask guys if their buddies are cute. They would surely say yes, and in the end turns out kannasai. U men shld stop deceiving us gals like that. It is very rude when we make a screwed up disgusted face when the said friend arrives. At least say "ok lar...", which is universal language for hideous, to let us have some preparations mah...
I saw Eddy first, and I was like "Hmmmm... first time seeing him in non-office clothes... That thin white tee looks totally gorgeous with the muscles underneath it shouting out that they are well-trained for the precise purpose of wearing thin white tees... Yum..."
And then this other guy in front caught my attention. Ah, buying a cake, quite cute.
Eddy shouted out, "Hey Edmund!"
Cute Edmund turned around and shook my hand. What, all cute guys have their names starting with E nowdays?
Anyway heres a group photo I took. I'm sorry Eddy, for betraying u and posting the picture. Anyway since u love me u will forgive me, right? LOL
Ah, I dun think I need to say who is Edmund. Eddy said he is practising using that forced smile on photos nowdays. The pursed lips look quite bad. I think he just had enough of people calling him a pretty boy, and is trying to make himself look ugly. Or perhaps he doesn't wanna look so gay. When u are fit and cute u tend to look gay. Since he can't minus the fit, minus the cute then.
I would like to say that I had a very bad hair day today. This further proves the theory right that whenever I would have a bad hair day whenever I meet up with people I would want to attract.
Oh wait, since I had a bad hair day BEFORE meeting the people I would like to impress, it could mean that it works the other way. Whenever I have a bad hair day, people I would like to impress would ask me out. That sounds slightly better.
Shld I purposely make myself have bad hair days then? Hmmm...
No wonder Eddy looks so unhappy.
I know no one is looking at the humans in the picture. Everyone is looking at the golden beer. LOL... Oh yeah speaking of Eddy. He said that he had a friend of his who actually called him to tell him that his pic is on the world wide web.
Recently I keep getting startled with the readership of the blog. It is seriously scaring me. Random ppl on irc come to talk to me and say that they have read my blog.
Inspired by the popularity, I did a very narcissic thing. I did a search on the words 'Xiaxue blog'. AHA! Guess what I found!
I am utterly disgusted by her.
She wrote: wah lao..haha.. oh i read the xiaxue blog liao.. she so xian lan..haha..compare herself to ayumi..pls lorx.. wah remind me of sum1 say sum1 in my class look like ayumi..oh my...pls lorx.. ayumi so so chio.how to compare..
1) WTF is XIAN LAN?
2) Since when did I compare myself with Ayumi? Gosh, I merely tried to imitate her. (digital camera pic remember? The one in the background.)
3) Shut up with all ur "lorx, sia, knnccb, cum" etc etc ah lian language, it is irritating the lungs outta me! I have like NO idea why people like to use the word "cum" to replace come. Its just an alphabet extra to write, cmon! Got lazy until lidat meh?? And it immediately changes the meaning to a word so crude. Bleah.
4) I feel like slapping you with Eddy's used facial blotter, which looks like that:
If u thought that ah lians dun blog u are terribly wrong! Please do click on the link to freak urself out. I had no idea my blog's address has got into the realm of Lians and Bengs. Certain types of people just can't appreciate my kinda humour I guess. Post a picture of urself imitating a star, and they say you bu yao lian already lor. I mean, lorx!
-_- how are u supposed to pronouncex everythingx withx anx x behindx itx?
This one is better:
(to havenized I hope u dun mind me copying this out...)
highly recommended blog of the day! --http://www.xiaxue.blogspot.com/
ha if u wanna read some haha-blog go to this! This girl is really damn funny.. she manages to make me laugh like mad in every entry.. ok frankly speaking i dunno her.. she's my fren's fren's fren's fren... hmmm... haha.. man i think she's talented! haha if she ever sees this think her ego will burst! haha..
*smilez* Help me my ego is bursting! =)
And then a comment her friend left:
[chong] hahaha. i think she can start collecting money from pple reading her blog oredi... wah she's gonna be famous. soon everyone will be talking abt her in town den the media will crowd her house to interview her n hahaha gawd noes wt'll happen... the guy she likes will come back n beg her to accept him! yah meanwhile let's just continue to let her entertain us.
Thank you, although the compliments are not meant to be heard by me.
I guess some ppl think that compliments will make me pompous and conceited, but I would like to disagree. Generally people are much more stingy with compliments than criticism, so for every encouragement u give me, possibly someone has told me to give up blogging. It strikes a balance, somehow.
Haha once again heres a big *HUG* to all those who gave my encouragements!
Read The Full Article
Alright enough about today.
Lets talk about Jonathon.
I found a love letter I once wrote to him. I think it sounds quite mushy so dun puke yeah?
The princess felt warm lips softly touch her supple skin and a magical tingling feeling swept over her. Slowly, she opened her eyes, and let her senses recover from the long sleep. She felt strong hands on her own fragile ones, and when her pupils met his she immediately knew he was the one for her. Slipping a diamond ring onto her finger, the prince said huskily, "Marry me, my goddess.." She swallowed hard. Staring at the chiselled face and those deep set eyes, she could not bring herself to say the "Yes!" exploding in her heart but instead just nodded happily.
NO! Wait... Wrong wrong wrong. Fairy tales cheat naive little girls into thinking those creatures from mars with the dangly thing are actually good-natured. Only from experience would they know these creatures are capable of deep cruelty(Raping, ditching, two-timing, blowjobs etc), doesn't help the princess do the dishes, neglects princess because of football, etc.
As I slowly climbed out of adolescence, I must say I had more than my fair share of bad male behaviour (I say male beacuse some are actually inhumane). To begin with there was Kristopher with "I have five girlfriends currently! Stop pestering me, I am not interested in a patch up!". My neighbours were deafened by the sound of my heart breaking. And then there were guys who run away when namely: They see my pimples, they know I don't wanna have sex, they see my height, they know they can't cheat my money coz I am too smart, etc. I got so used to the excuse "I need to concentrate on my studies" to get a break up that I wonder whether it is published somewhere or my bfs actually consult my exs on how to break up with me.
My prince is NEVER gonna come (cum, whahahhahaha! My prince is never gonna cum! Imagine if I used cum!! Wahahhaha... Oops sorry self amusement. Lets continue.), I thought. He must have died fighting Liverpool fans, or dranks too much beer and turned into a beer dispenser. Boy, how wrong was I! He came in disguise, with a fake name Jonathon Yeow, beacuse he knew "Prince Charming" was too obvious. He even put a spell to suck up his muscles for more reality. I wasn't suspicious; he managed to pull the wool over my eyes for some time.
But the problem is, he slowly revealed loopholes. He shines like sunlight during my darkest times, putting DeBeers to shame. He is so patient snails take him as an idol, and more supportive than Triumph and Wocoal combined. He is so caring my mum felt guilty, and so sweet, cake and lollipops hug each other, crying.
He is accomodating in every way possible, and loves me so much that earthquakes wouldn't have stopped him from meeting me. He is, I discovered, actually a skinny angel without wings. (Jonathon is very thin)
Two months. I have been with my angel for two months already! I pinch myself everyday expecting to wake up from my sweet dream, and expect his phone number to have never existed in the first place. Nope, that didn't happen. It seems like he is here to stay, complete with a family! Well even angels don't like to be taken for grant, so, my angel, I just wanna tell u that I love you so! You are truly one in a billion and once in a lifetime. Please don't ever leave me; I would be in such a loss! :) Thanks for everything u have done for me!
After reading this u are possibly thinking:
1) How come prince became angel halfway?
I dunno. Blunder. Seem like Jonathon didn't notice though, he merely gave me a smile and a hug.
2) Can I copy this whole chunk to write to my bf/gf?
I am generous. Since Jonathon did not appreciate this, someone else shld. That is IF u think it is a nice love letter lar. Feel free to delete his name and attributes to put someone elses in, but if he/she asks whether u wrote this urself, u better say no. This is not coz I want credit for my writing. This is coz u will never know if ur bf/gf reads my blog one day. U wun wanna get into that kinda trouble.
3) Did you ever use this essay for other guys as well? *wink wink*
Nope. The first reason is that the hard copy of this was lost for a few years and I just found it in that Jonathon pile of photos. In fact, when Jonathon broke up with me, I did the very sensible thing which most people cannot bring themselves to do.
That is, to destroy (or hide) everything single thing that strongly reminds u of him. U keep the happy photo frames lying around, and u can jolly well wallow in self-pity thinking Boohoohoo we used to be so happy, why did this all have to change boohoohoo why why why when I love him so much he doesn't love me anymore! everyday. Thats not healthy.
I suggest u pass the happy photos to me and I will help u photoshop Brad Pitt/Jennifer Aniston beside you, depending on ur preference.
Needless to say, the toothbrush he/she used to use shld be thrown away too. *ahem* Face it, he/she is not coming back anymore. If ur toothbrush happens to be Lion brand, which is very difficult to find, I suggest u try to erase off the SHIRLEY on it and let other guests use it, unwittedly. U can then snigger while they brush their teeth.
The letter plus photos plus teddy bears plus lovegetys of Jonathon remained lost at the top of my cupboard until I found it recently.
The second reason is that I no longer think any guy would be shiny, patient, caring, supportive, sweet, accomodating and have met me during earthquakes. Most ironic of all would be the sentence It seems like he is here to stay,... Stay my foot. I have learnt that we can never conclude such things, can we? Just as we are so sure, the person leaves. Wonderful.
I had this ex classmate, who when she was 17, told us she is gonna get married once she gets outta poly. Her bf is 27 and they were together for merely half a year. I asked her how come so can be so sure the fella is gonna marry her, has he proposed already?
She said no, he didn't propose or anything, but she is sure.
I told her she can never be sure. Men... Who can be sure about what they think? 3 years (till poly ends) is a long time, skarly also break liao.
She angrily said their love is strong.
Her love for him is relatively strong I guess, thats undeniable. Thats coz the last I heard of her was that the bf beat her up, and yet she still stayed on with him. I can totally understand. I felt like beating her up sometimes too. But she is a totally different subject altogether, lets go back to Jonathon.
(story continued. Blogger sucks.)
So why did Jonathon break up with me?
I like to think that it is coz he is a weirdo.
Alright, it happened like this.
First, a little introduction. Jon is in tp. His project group members consist of guys and 2 malay girls. Gillian (actually I think I forgot the name) is an IRC friend of his, who is attached herself, yet msgs Jonathon every single day.
Her typical msg was like this: "I am having tuition now."
WTF! I was with Jonathon the whole day so I know he did not ask her what she is doing. She is mad. I hate her! This kinda msg tell her bf lar, tell my bf for fuck! Jonathon claims he doesn't like Gillian, but Gillian once liked Jonathon before. They dun talk on the phone, and have known each other for ard a year, and met up 2 times before.
That day Jonathon told me he was doing project with his group mates IN SCHOOL. SCHOOL LAB OPEN ON A SUNDAY! I actually was dense enough to believe that crap!
Okie we can start now.
It was a beautiful Sunday. Typically, I was at my grandfather's place. In fact, I was winning Mahjong with my aunties. Suddenly I received a msg from a mutual friend of Jonathon's and mine.
It read: "Hey, are u still together with Jonathon?"
Ominous foreboding. I replied yes and asked her why she asked.
She said, typically, "Nothing."
I told her to TELL ME!
She said she saw Jonathon at Orchard with this Chinese girl. I told her she must have mistaken lar, Jon in school doing project. She enlightened me that school is not open on Sundays. PLUS, she can't have mistaken him coz he even stopped to say hello to her.
I called Jonathon.
Me: "Where are u?"
Jon: "In school doing project with Brian they all, why?"
Me: "You sure u in school?"
Jon: "Yeah, why?" *trys to change topic* "Where are u?"
Me: "Ask Brian to come to the phone please?"
Jon: "He went toilet, why leh?"
Me: "I dun care, bring the phone to the toilet now. Or u can ask the other guys to come talk to me."
Jon: "Okie"
-I patiently wait for a ridiculous 10 minutes or so-
Jon: "Okie lar, I am not in school."
Me: "Who are u with?"
Jon: "Classmate Hui Juan."
Me: "What are u doing in Orchard with her?"
Jon: "Doing survey for our project lor..."
Me: "Yeah right ur group members only got malay girls. Where got Hui Juan inside?"
Jon: "This is another project!"
Me: "Why can't u tell me the truth when I asked?"
Jon: "Coz I scared u angry with me for going out with girls."
Me: "BULLSHIT! I am so unreasonable one meh? She is ur CLASSMATE leh!"
Jon: "Hiyah, how I know?''
Me: *My instincts tell me they are not doing project at all. Yeah perhaps Project Rendevous.* "Ask Hui Juan to come to the phone please."
Jon: "okie."
Hui Juan: "Hello?"
Me: "You are Hui Juan? Sorry, I would like to ask u a few questions coz I suspect that Jonathon is lying to me. I hope u can just help me clarify if I am mistaken okie?"
Hui Juan: "Yeah okie."
Me: "What course are u in?"
Phoney Hui Juan: "Tourism."
This one is easy enough.
Me: "What class are u in?"
Phoney Hui Juan: "erm... Gimme a minute, the phone's reception is bad, I can't hear what u said, can u repeat? Wait ah wait ah."
-I waited another ridiculous 10 minutes, and whats more appalling is that I actually HEARD, loud and clear, Jonathon shout out the answer to her as if it took him tremendous efforts to understand her sign language and when he did, he must announce the answer triumphantly. Jonathon is a dumb ass.-
Hui Juan announced that she is in 1T03 as if she too, is very proud to have passed my test.
I told her that I can hear Jonathon telling her the answer in the background. She replied weakly that no, that didn't happen.
So I asked her the module she is doing this project for. In actual fact I didn't know as well, so if she is smarter and just bombarded an answer confidently, I would have to believe it. For the moment only. Coz once I reach a computer I would go to TP's site to see if there is such a module, of course.
And if she is smarter she shld have took out her hp and via typing an sms ask Jonathon what this module is. But smart people do not date jerks like Jonathon (yes I was once dumb. My expectations are much higher now.), and smart people do not need tuitions.
(story continued. Blogger sucks.)
Jonathon took over the phone and told me that he is actually with Gillian. I was crying like mad already at this point of time, so he volunteered to come to find me. He asked me to give him 2.5 hours.
I told him from Orchard to CCK dun need two hours lor, he still wanna go watch movie with her izzit!
He said he is sending her home. WTF! Still wanna send the slut home! Actually she is not a slut lar, but heck, I feel pissed with her stupidity.
When Jonathon came finally, he came with gifts for me so I was relatively pacified. And then he had to spoil the moment by saying that the gifts are chosen by Gillian. Oh, so that successfully makes ME the unreasonable and horrible slut, since all they did while going out was to buy stuff for me, yet I made such a big fuss.
And then Jonathon requested for me to allow him to meet Gillian, twice a month, alone. I didn't feel like agreeing, but it was an ultimatum from him. Agree, or a break up.
The relationship went downhill from there. I don't understand what is so important about Gillian, that he had to sacrifice so many things for her. He is already busy enough with his guy friends, yet he wants to squeeze in time for her, thus sacrificing time for meeting me as well. He is willing to let me feel upset about his decision. He is actually threatening a break up for her.
He claims that Gillian and him can talk, and they are very good friends. WTF, meet for 2 times (make it 3) only, good friends??? Never talked on the phone, good friends??? How much does Gillian even know about him, gosh...
So yeah from there I keep suspecting stuff about Jonathon, coz I no longer feel confident about his love for me, and also coz he deceived me once. I think he also buay tahan my possessiveness. He buay tahan, then he got more impatient with me. The more impatient with me, the more insecure I feel, and the more possessive I became. Vicious cycle went on lor.
We couldn't really be bothered about each other coz it was exam time. One day, he asked me to go to TP (Imagine the distance, SP to TP) find him after his last paper.
And then he gave me that serious look and said he has thought about it decided we needed a break. I said okie lor.
And he stood up and left me at Tampines mall alone while he left for church. I was so angry with him making me travel all the way there (last time SP doesn't have Dover MRT yet) to tell me one fucked up sentence that I comtemplated shouting to his retreating back "You shld see a doctor for semen which is half transparent and half white is NOT NORMAL!!!!"
I didn't coz
1) I was too hum chee.
2) I guess it would make me look like the whore.
3) That attack is way below the belt.
3) The people at the macdonalds we are in will possibly not see Jonathon again. I might as well announce it in my blog, where u guys can see his picture as well. Thats for being so mean, Jonathon! And also, even if Jonathon ever find out and he wants to take revenge by eg setting up a blog to say my boobs are fake, his blog possibly doesn't have as much readers, so it is fine with me. Well I guess this is still way way below the belt, but heck, Jonathon can't sue me coz what I said is true.
Btw for those of u who has semen half transparent and half white, it would mean u are slightly impotent coz semen is transparent while sperms are white. The whole thing shld be a normal dense barley colour. U shld see a doctor.
Oh yeah I forgot to mention that I tried to contact Jonathon again to maintain just a simple friendship, but he actually asked me not to disturb him as he is very happy with his present gf. WTF. I told him that I am not interested in him anymore, just wanted to keep our friendship.
He said he has enough friends, thank you.
WTF. I totally hate guys like that.
A few weeks ago I saw him with his gf. AHA! Believe it or not, I actually had a veyr good hair day that day. And fortunately enough, I just blotted my oily face so I'm quite sure I looked my prime. And in contrast the gf is ugly, common and looks like she can accept half transparent sperms. Ah well, good for him.
I'm gonna end up marrying Eddy the efficient engineer and I will ask Jonathon to sit at the wedding table (at Ritz Carlton of course) with assorted exs and place them with priests from City Harvest and people with body odour.
I hope Jonathon would ask for a lemon.
Two days ago when I was working at Ritz (whats new?) there was this English dinner. After English dinners chocolate pralines are served on this nice looking glass dish.
Absolutely heavenly looking chocolate pralines.
I looked left. Looked right. No manager looking. Popped one white chocolate praline into my mouth. WHOOOOSH! Orgasms rushing in! Ah, the tongue is a very good muscle indeed. The smooth and sweet white chocolate exterior was crushed by my eager teeth to spill out itz insides, soft wet hazelnut.
It was as good as it lasted. But is one orgasm enough??? I dun get them from men, so eating chocolates is my only solution! I want more! I need more!
I looked left. Looked right. No manager still. I stole all the remaining pralines and stuffed them all into my pocket. Urgh! One pocket full liao. Never, put into another pocket. Aiyah, this pocket got my hps inside, dammit. Nvm lar, can still put 2 pralines.
I happily gave some orgasm-inducing pralines to some colleagues after eating my fill.
Is this all written just to make u envious of me? Of course not. U see, I got my just punishments for the greed I had.
I put a hand into my pocket to check out the time from my hp. YIKES! It is full of chocolate!
It was terrible. I spent a good 15 minutes in the toilet cleaning it up. The chocolate managed to squeeze itself into the hole for charging and for the earpiece. it squeezed through the keypad onto the insides of the fone. It squeezed onto the battery even. Luckily enough, only my 8250 kanna.
No doubt it caused my 8250 to go berserk.
Today Eddy called me. Chatting halfway, the phone gave an unpleasant clicking sound as if announcing the tremendous amount of suffering it was going through. And then it really died.
I thought to myself: "Wah lau that Eddy ah, talk halfway hang my call. And dunno how to call back one lor..."
I had no idea that it is Eddy who must have thought I am a rude bitch. (I later discovered as Xf's call got cut off too that it was MY phone with the problem.) But thats not the point. The point is, I need a new phone!
There are 3 phones that I like currently. Samsung's T500, 8910 (titanium) and 6100. I like T500 the most, but I think it is freaking expensive and I can't really afford it. Nice diamonds on the cover. Glittering diamonds just so complete my bimbo look!
I dun like 8910 coz it looks like a coffin, but heck, it will make me look rich. Imagine a person using a 8910 and another using 7250. Who looks richer? I just need to couple it with my Gucci/LV bag to complete the tai tai look.
Plus u can continue using 8910 for a century and just say "I bought it at one grand u know! Change phone for fuck? -Scoffs-" when people comment that ur phone is ancient.
A few ppl told me I am very dumb for wanting to buy 8910 coz it is an old model, it is ugly, and it doesn't come with polyphonic ringtones, colour screen, and camera, etc etc. I dun care about polyphonic ringtones coz it is simply not worth the money to download it. Free ringtones u say? Alright. We rich people simply do not play with silly things like ringtones. Colour screen is not very important to me too. Camera? I got a perfectly good one which I take everywhere already.
I found one at yahoo auctions for $350. Great huh, $350 I can fake that I bought it at a grand. Wonderful.
6100 is if I can't find a good deal for the first 2 phones. In fact, I think people who bought 6610 are worthy of some sympathy. Thats u, Eddy, June, Xf and the rest of the world! 6610 has transformed successfully from a "wow!" phone to a "oh, I have one too." phone. Price plummeting horribly. 6610 is now one of the lousiest colour phones around. With 6100 I expect the same situation to happen as well.
Haiz, all these headaches for stealing some chocolates. Anyone selling the phones I want???? Or any admirer gonna buy it for me? Poor Wendy doesn't have a phone to use! Boohoohoo.
This blog entry is gonna be long, just to warn you. My blogging thirst has grown these few days; I was so deprived of it. Good news for my fans though, those who are punching their fists into the air and throwing confetti when I just announced that this entry wuld be long. Thats coz I will be buying Enormous Ek's pda from her, at a measly $40. With the device taken with me everywhere I go, I can now blog everything which is interesting without forgetting what happened when I reach home.
Speaking of EK, she is very happily in Melbourne currently. She must be a very happy horny girl! Did u know that Australia airs porn on all its channels after 11pm? That cool ain't it? Australia porn stars must earn a lot.
I would like to interrupt myself. I just went to cook some spuuer for myself and guess what I found. It is ur worst horrors confirmed when u crack open an egg.
I think I just killed a life! It looks like a little pink chicken embryo to me, complete with a curled up look. Either it is an embryo, or this chicken has cervix cancer or something. Anyway, I felt quite guilty that I killed a cute chick. But I was thinking:
1) It is the guy who choose this egg to sell that caused the chick's death.
2) It is the chicken's own fault for shagging that cock.
3) It is the chicken's own fault for being a stupid organism and thus not able to stop its eggs from being taken away from humans, or even shout out loud that that egg is fertilised.
4) It is God's fault for not making fertilised eggs have a red dot on it or something, so that we wun eat fertilised eggs.
5) Even if the chick hatched outta the egg and say, it manages to escape out of the fridge, Cloudy will eat it up in a jiffy.
It is absolutely not my fault that I cracked its life up. In fact, I decided I blame that chicken for traumatizing me and spoiling my meal.
(In case u guys are wondering what I did with that egg, I took a spoon and tore, with some difficulty, the embryo from the egg yolk and cooked the rest scrambled style.)
Back to normal blog topics.
I just found some of Jonathon (my 7-month ex bf) photos!
XF likes this photo alot. She thinks Jon and I look very loving coz we both look so happy. Eh, I guess we were happy, during the first 6 months or so. Very happy.
Jonathon took this photo himself. He was in Manchester visiting his sis so he took this photo to send to me to let me see. Ah, the grass seems greener in England. Perhaps that lame saying about the grass being always greener at the other side is correct then.
Jonathon gave me this card.
Oh man, I can't believe I once felt so loved. Long time since I last felt that way. Seems to have lost confidence in myself after Jonathon left me. I just keep thinking no one will ever love me unconditionally again.... Bleah.
I know what u are thinking.
1) Stop the mushy stuff, it is making me nauseous.
2) Jonathon's handwriting is extremely ugly.
I agree with both. I'm sure everyone wants to know how Jon and I broke up right? It is a long story, I shall write about it tml.
Dammit, this is actually part of the previous blog but blogger claims it is too long to publish. I guess I am THAT longwinded. So this part is about Harry Potter anyway.
For the ignorant/I dunch-read-what-everyone-else-is-reading people who dun know, The Order of The Phoenix comes in 2 different versions, the adults and kids version.
The picture is what u get when u remove the paper cover from the adults version. Someone actually asked why I carry a bible around. I told her that J K Rowlings might write pretty well, but she is no god. That girl apparently had no idea who J K Rowlings was so she switched the topic, still convinced in her head that I am a loyal christian.
Someone asked me why I bought the adults version instead of the kids one, coz the kid's cover looks far more vibrant. In fact, if u looked carefully, the silly yellow phoenix is actually smiling. How ridiculous! A smiling phoenix!
When ppl ask me why I choose the adult's version I always say this:
"Huh u dunno meh!!! Harry Potter is now officially 15 years of age in this book! The Adults version contains sex scenes which are deleted in the kid's version! In fact, the first sentence of the book starts with: Harry wanked again yesterday thinking of Hermione."
I think people actually believed me till I said the last sentence.
I was just thinking about sex in the magical world. (please do not read the following if u dun read Harry Potter, coz u wun understand.)
Gal: Darling, lets have sex!
Guy: But I'm watching Quidditch and nothing can make me erected right now! Nor distracted for that matter!
Gal: Eh! I want sex!
Guy: No!
Gal: Indeed. Imperio!
Guy: Oh honey, lets have sex now!
Gal: Hmmm... Good boy. U shall do as I say now. Quietus TV!
-Rooms lacks of the ambience-
Gal: Accio (summon) candles! Incendio (light up) candles! Your dick is too small!
Guy: I can't help that.
Gal: Engorgio penis! Ahh.. Itz much bigger now! I would like to feel some pain to complete the pleasure. Curse me!
Guy: Crucio!
Gal: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......!
LOL.. I think I am mad. Anyway itz getting late and I got work at Ritz again tml night... More blogging tml!
