ENOUGH about shu nus! Everyone is sick of that topic, no? Lets move on to what everyone is more interested about; SEXY BABES.
Be prepared for an eye feast tonight, I will be doing up a few geocities pages on FHM's 100 sexiest women (both the UK and SG version. I know u dun have the UK one) , complete with comments from yours truly.
Oh wait, I think I will be posting up just pictures of the girls that I dislike. Thats for the Singapore one of course, and I would also expose to u guys how Mediaworks actually bribed FHM to put their artistes in the magazine.
As for the UK version... It is really loaded with babes! A few selected pictures would be up too. I suppose, for ur pleasure, I would have to do the web pages till the wee hours of the night. Thats course I am going to work at the Ritz right now.
Ain't I great? Entertainment for u guys every night and best of all? It is all FREE... Anyone wants to advertise on my site please to give me some incentives?
Gosh I want a sugar daddy.
I'm too tired to blog! It is the first day of school and hey, I feel quite glad that I can see my classmates again.
I feel like hugging Shuyin, June and Clara for fun, sorta missed them.
Meanwhile, the very ironic thing is that except the 3 I mentioned plus a few guys, I seem to dislike my classmates more after the long break. It is weird ain't it? How much muz u hate people to dislike them more after u see them again after a long break? Very much I guess. I go like: Gosh, why does she STILL exist???
Not surprisingly, the rest of my class consists of Shu nus.
Very freaking boring shu nus. Actually I quite like shu nus cause back in RV days, I found great pleasure talking to Shu nus coz they giggle at everything u say. They gave me all the laughter I wanted from an audience. The difference between Poly shu nus and RV shu nus are:
1) RV shu nus dun speak much coz they just dun feel like speaking much. Poly shu nus are dumb so they have nothing to say anyway.
2) RV shu nus laugh at my jokes coz they are intelligent enough to understand them. (Read: If u dun find this site funny, u are a Poly Shu nu, in which u shld wish to be reincarnated as a piece of llama's liver, that will be more interesting than what u are currently; a Poly Shu nu.)
3) Rv shu nus, despite being conventional rather nerdy shu nus, readily accept sexual jokes and just smack me, laugh and say: "You ah!" Poly shu nus think that talking about sex is rude.
If u are a Poly student, u are probably very angry right now. U scream: "ARE U IMPLYING THAT POLY STUDENTS ARE DUMB?"
Nope. I am not saying that. Since I have not interacted with all Poly students before I cannot make that conclusion. Poly kids that I know at my classmates. And some of my classmates are dumb. June agrees with me. Shu yin agrees with me too. Thats all I am trying to say, which is that some of my classmates are not very intelligent.
Am I implying that I am very intelligent? No. I cannot calculate the trajectory of the Bugis fountain. I got a D7 for my A maths in O levels. I suck at checkers even; whenever I try to eat double I end up being eaten double.
But the shu nus in my class. haiz... I shall refrain from being mean by shutting up right now.
You may think I am like so ultra mean to talk bad about my classmates like that. Well, they started it.
Shu nus MY FOOT! Once u turn ur back they become vindictive backstabbers. I dun even UNDERSTAND why people BOTHER to even backstab. If u dun like the person, just stay away from her lar! So free to go and plot and plot vicious ways of making life worse for the fella.
U see, I had no idea that my classmates (the shu nu gang) did not like me at first. So I went around get chummy with everyone and trying to make everyone's life better by saying a joke or two, and I had no idea they got offended, coz they actually pretended to laugh.
Typically, my jokes are PG 13. I reckon they are mentally less than 13 years of age so they get offended. I hate people who cannot take jokes. I hate serious people. I hate people who dun appreciate my jokes. Worst of all I hate serious people who cannot take jokes to dun appreciate my jokes.
Digressing for a moment it seems like my recent blog entries are all so angry. I will try to be more cheerful tml, I promise.
Anyway, there was this one day when Shu yin and I had a big quarrel. And then the class shu nus all wanted a share of the excitement and no doubt they all told Shu yin I was a bitch etc etc. They all started to scold me for something which was totally none of their business. Eg: "Wendy, Shuyin is ur good fren how can u do this to her blah blah?"
I had a good mind to tell them it is none of their fucking business whatsoever but I was too busy getting upset over the main issue.
After the quarrel me and Shuyin patched things up, and one day Shuyin told me that they had some difficulty deciding the project groupings. I asked her why, and she said that alot of people dun wanna group with me. I was damn shocked.
We were in the lecture hall, so I asked her to point out who didn't wanna work with me, and she pointed everyone in the shu nu gang. WTF! Then June joined in and told me that all this while they found my jokes crude and offensive, thus didn't like me.
(Continued) Here is an example ok.
I hope this amuses you, coz it amused me alot.
June wore a thick frame spectacle that day to school, and it made her look rather nerdy. Coincidentally, she had on very decent clothes as well, I think it was a buttoned up cardigan with jeans.
It was filming lessons so they were deciding on who to shoot our film on. I said, "Take June lar, she looks like one of those teacher porn stars today. Act decent then suddenly throw away the specs and remove the cardigan, inside all leather sia! Hahaha.."
Okie I know the joke is not funny. It is not really meant to be funny! It is just a bo liao comment.
And u know what are the reactions? Everyone got really angry.
"OMG WENDY how can u say that!!" *disgusted look*
"Yeah lar you claim June is ur good friend yet u do this to her?!" *flabbergasted look*
"How can u say such a thing?!" *Appalled look*
Woah! Suddenly I am attacked from everywhere. Where do my classmates come from, Virginland?? In all seriousness, what is wrong with my comment?? Is it offensive? It wasn't EVEN TARGETED AT THEM!
If I rule the government, I will make sure everytime a person cannot take a reasonable joke, he will have to go and live with a sex pervert for 1 month. Throughout that 1 month, the only form of entertainment in the prison is Bill Crosby's show Kids' Say, which is the most horrible show in the universe with cheeky kids thinking they are very smart and talking crap and expecting us to laugh along.
I think this plan is very good indeed because most possibly people who cannot take jokes are very serious and boring people, so the sex pervert would get his just punishments too by staying with such a person for a month. If the sex pervert commited beastiality, which I totally detest (why shag animals when there are insects around?), I will throw in an accountant in the cell. That will teach him to commit beastiality!
Muahahahaha!
The only problem is that there are more "I-can't-take-a-simple-joke" people than sex perverts. For a simple statistics count, my class habours around 12 such people and only one sex pervert, which is me. Thus the plan is flawed coz the sex pervert will die within a few days interacting with such dull people, and also the dull people can talk Dullish (their language which nobody understands) to each other and thoroughly enjoy prison life.
The only solution would be to increase Sex perverts. If I rule the Government, I would buy over Kazaa and make another version of the program called KazaaPorn. Not only will this make sex perverts increase, I can make money by selling KazaaPornPlatinum (at a revoluntionary price of $14.99) to customers, and KazaaPornPlatinum is no doubt the EXACT same program as KazaaPorn, but sex perverts wun notice such details.
If only I rule! The world will be perfect. We will be left with very scared people who laugh at everything I say. Ain't that great? The world will be a much better place w/o dull shu nus u think?
Not to panic if Shu nus are ur sexual fantasies and u are afraid they will all be locked up in prison. I will, if u purchase KazaaPornPlatinum, let u shag them. In fact, it is great that u can shag them at a prison, it acts to the bondage feeling doesn't it?
But what u dunno is that once u step into the trembling Shu nu's cell rubbing ur hands together in glee, I will catch u into the next prison cell and put u with a cannot-take-jokes person. THATS FOR BEING A SEX PERVERT! Whats more, with the shu nu locked beside u, u will thirst for her more everyday and that will torment you infinitely till u die, and thats not counting the Bill Crosby part.
It is a win-win situation coz the shu nu will live in fear everyday that u might break the separation bars and rape her. THAT WILL TEACH HER TO BE A DUMB SHU NU!
Meanwhile smart Shu nus will work under me coz I pay them alot of money. I will pay them to attract the guys that I like, and then do something mean and horrible to the said guy. The said guy will get very upset and this is where my role comes in. I will comfort him and pretend to be at his side, and he will become mine!!!
If only I rule the world.
But I dun. I think I wrote too much. Did I mention in the front that I am too tired to blog? Oh well. Thats what fatigue does to u, u start to think nonsense. Okie good night, will blog more on daily events tml.
Oh yeah I forgot. A reader just wrote in the tagboard that he/she saw me today! I am so freaked out. Ok honestly speaking, how many of u have seen me before in real life? Leave me a comment!
Today marks the day where my blog page has hit 10,000!
The first day I put the web counter was the 18th of May (No, I dun remember. I checked archives coz I wrote about the web counter and how I felt I was a web guru when I first put it in the site. Afterall I started out knowing nuts about HTML. =))
Anyway, it has been 50 days since I first put the web counter in, and indeed, that will make it an average of 200 visitors a day. To these 200 people, thank you for all the support!
I would like to say thank you to my biggest fan.
Thats me, Wendy.
Thank you Wendy. Thanks for being there to read all your own entries and clicking refresh a few times a day to see if there are any new comments. Wendy loves her own blog entries and she reads the blog loyally, approximately 3 times a day.
LOL enough crap.
Anyway, yesterday's blog entry was an evil one. I was thinking of deleting it coz it makes me look so totally jealous and uncouth, but heck, that was exactly how I felt at that moment, and there it shall remain to remind me to be nice coz when I am angry I sound like an MRT's horn. And yes, I got horned by an MRT before, think was standing too close to the yellow line.
Jealous? Of what? Yesh. Jealous of guys treating shu nus nicer than they treat me. You all know that in most people's hearts there is always this special someone. That special someone would most possibly be a favourite ex who initated the break up. OR, the longest lasting ex. OR, a guy/gal that they have liked for like a century.
I think no one's special someone is me. Every guy seems to keep yakking about their special someone to me. LISTEN: I DUN WANNA HEAR U TALK ABOUT UR SPECIAL SOMEONE MORE THAN U WANNA HEAR ME TALK ABOUT MENSTRUAL BLOOD. I dun give a shit about Cherie, or Kris, or whatever sweet name the special someone usually possesses. I dun wanna hear about how much u loved them once, how much u will love them forever.
Dun show me photos. Dun show me the loveletter u stuffed in ur wallet for years. You are making me wanna burn it all, and I WILL, if....
If....
THE PHOTO SHOWS A SHU NU!!!!
And it is ALWAYS a shu nu. WTF! Incoherent girls who speak approximately 5.8 words a day are usually the ones who gets loved. Ah well.
U hear guys saying: I am still totally in love with my ex, Liting (Liting sounds totally shu nu and romantic. How can Yan yan sound romantic when it is the brand of a biscuit? Thats my chinese name btw.). Liting is so sweet, so gentle and so caring. I would liken her to be a dove; free, and graceful. I would die for her.
Conversely, u dun hear guys saying: I am still totally in love with my ex Wendy. She is humourous and makes me laugh. She has her own opinions and is not afraid to speak up. She is slightly mad.
The sentence usually ends this way: She is a good fren of mine. I dun love her, but I like being with her, just as a platonic friend. If one day I must choose to drown Liting or Wendy, u know who I would choose without a second's hesitation. Wendy possibly can swin and Liting (obviously *rolls eyes*) can't. Wendy is a platypus and Liting is a Dove! And the Wendy I know will not blame me for not saving her. I suppose all I get is a whack on the head.
Well, for ur information, I AM NOT A PLATYPUS! I am a, erm, swan! Yes, thats what I am! I need Love too! Boohoohoo... All these phenomenons from society is totally shaking my self-confidence. Are my type of girls doomed to not be loved as much?
Of course, some people would be smirking right now and thinking: Then u would have to ask urself whether it is ur own fault for making guys like girls other than you. Well, my reply is that I did try. To all the exs that I really liked, I think I was a pretty good lover. As in, I dun mind travelling to meet them, and I remember anniversaries and I make little gifts for them. Still, I believe no one's special someone is me.
But then again it is fair coz I have no special someone in my heart too. It used to be my ex boyfriend Larry (I give u 5 seconds to laugh at the name, but dun ask me if he gave me diamonds.), but he did something to strike out his prestigious position. Thats a very long story and I would tell u gusy another day. And then theres Jonathon, who obviously struck out his position as well by having half transparent semen. Oops, did I just say that? haha..
So I am embracing bisexuality now. Guys are too disappointing. In fact, the first moment I felt like a lesbian was when I watch Zhong Wu Yen, which coincidentally will be screening on Channel 8 later at 8 pm. Please watch it, u will turn lesbian too. If u are a guy, I bet u like Cecilia Cheung and Sammi Cheng anyway. And u must love to watch lesbians; the whole show is about it.
I totally fell in love with Cecilia Cheung when she acted as a guy. AND also when she acted as a gal. I think I am going mad. She had this cute loop sided grin when she acts as a man, and I am so totally smitten!!! Arrrghhh!
Anyway, I would like to say that yesterday I was a very happy girl!
And I didn't even have a good hair day.
1stly, EK sold me her palmtop (Lousy one lar, just an m105) for a meagre $40. Hurray for the lusty lawyer! And I get very excited by new gadgets.
There are so many things u can download onto ur palmtop, that I had spend the whole of yesterday night, from 12 till 5am, downloading stuff. Theres this palmboy software that turns ur palmtop into a gameboy immediately! But the problem is that u must find the games' software. These are called ROMS, and irritatingly, alot of sites promised to let u download roms for free, but yet it is always only cheating u to go.
Billions of pop-ups come out, and it is all porn, trying to trick u to set ur homepage to their site.
After hours of fruitless searching for Dr Mario, I finally found it in Kazaa. -_-|| Waste my time.
Still, I am very happy with the purchase. And also, I went out with James yesterday.
After dinner, we had no place to go. We were at City Hall, so we thought of going to the Ritz to sit around in the lobby. And then the lobby was too crowded so we went to Ritz's cafe, Greenhouse, to have coffee.
This is like the best deal ever.
We ordered a small pot of Vanilla creme coffee, and here is what the set comes with:
So cute ain't it?? It all mixes up to a really nice coffee.
Heres a bigger picture of the cute sugar.
Nice! And whats more, make a guess for the price!
Only $10!!!! $5 each, since a pot can be shared by 2 people. Its far more worth it than Starbucks! Plus the wonderful ambience, comfortable couches, lovely music and excellent service, it was all and all worth the $11.55 we spend there.
Sheesh, dun tell too many people about the place, or it will get too crowded. I hope the 200 people who read this will not all go at the same time. =)
Shu nus SUCK. I rule. I hope they all get strangled on their silly rebonded hair and get choked on their saliva while smiling sweetly. Dumbass shu nus shld all die! They have no character! No brains! No opinions! They are the shame of the female species! DIE!!!! DIE DIE DIE!!
Yesh, indeed another wave of anger at the shu nu phenomenon. Pardon me for the bitterness. You dun need to agree.
1) This is my blog and no one is forcing u to read it.
2) I do not need to write to entertain you.
3) I am always right anyway.
If u feel like arguing, please do leave some comments and I will delete it immediately when I reach home. And anyway, you are WRONG. Shu nus suck. They are only good for ONS, please try to hurt their feelings/fuck around with them so that they will grow up a little and stop being stupid diminutive silly innocent girls thinking men are always nice to them.
In which men usually are but thats not the point.
To all shu nu lovers out there, I have some holy secrets to reveal.
1) Shu nus fart too.
2) Their shit stinks too, in case u think it is fragrant.
3) They have to dig their noses as well.
4) They are only ACTING cute. If u think they are really cute, it just goes to show how good their acting is.
5) THEIR HAIR IS ONLY SMOOTH COZ IT IS REBONDED! If u rebond ur penis hair it will be as smooth and as silky as their hair, no biggie.
6) I bet they masterbate. ("Oh no, I don't!" YES, you do!)
7) They suck in bed coz they are all virgins. And they remain virgins till they are married. Meanwhile, have fun masterbating.
8) They just plain suck. And this is no secret, u are just deluded.
I hate Shu nus. Why can't u men like girls with some character? Why not marry a blow up doll, u cocks??? Tell me, whats the difference between dating a shu nu and a retard, except looks? Both has no opinions. Oh wait the retard possibly has a little more opinions. U can't shag both, coz theres this "I shouldn't shag her, it is WRONG." thingy.
There. I have done it. I have vented my anger. Will regret writing this evil chunk when I come back later. Going out now, not gonna tell u guys where in case Shu nus come beat me up.
On a last note, I hope all shu nus die.
OH FUCK IT! I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED MY 8910 ENTRY!! FUCK FUCK FUCK! God dammit!!! I am so pissed! Anyone saved it or something? Eh, I hardly think so. Oh, I am so angry. Someone find me a watermelon to smash.
Read The Full ArticleA few days ago when I was actively searching the web for a good deal for my 8910, I came up with some encounters.
I tried to look for a good deal at #nokia in irc, in which I met alot of stupid Ah bengs trying to sell me their hps/hp casings/etc electronic gadgets.
There are many times in life that we meet annoying people of course. Sometimes u just get so infuriated by them. Not to worry, DR Wendy here will teach u how to get outta the situation with a snap.
To counter the dumb who dun think they are dumb, and are at the same time crude, uncivilised and unreasonable: Simple. Irritate the shit out of them by being irrelevant.
[AhBeNG_86]Wat pHoNe YoU LoOk|ng 4?
[Xia`xue] I already stated in the main that I want an 8910.
[AhBeNG_86]T68i U 1, i buy u cheap cheap.
[Xia`xue] You mean sell.
[AhBeNG_86] Kan ni na, haha.. Nvm lorx. ThEn u wan mi fone not?
[Xia`xue] Nah, I have in mind something more classy, thanks anyway.
[AhBeNG_86] CHeeBye! dun wan say dun wan, dun insult my phone. T68i too lousy for u izzit? It is a good hp, got colour somemore okie nabeh!
[Xia`xue] Aiyoh why are u insulting the hp lidat? Say it is lousy and everything. Dun insult urself mah, say until like u got such bad taste to choose the phone. It is actually quite a nice phone lar, u say until like it is worthless.
[AhBeNG_86] lan jiao! You are the one who say it is a lousy fone!
[Xia`xue] Huh but it is quite a good fone what! What u mean it is lousy? The functions not good meh?
[AhBeNG_86] fuck lar, since it is a good fone u buy lorx. i buy u at $250.
[Xia`xue] Nah, I have in mind something more classy, thanks anyway.
[AhBeNG_86] KAN NI NA BU **** C*** B**!!!! YOU FUCKING BITCH!
-Please note that u shld ALWAYS end IRC arguments with this final sentence.
[Xia`xue] Oh shut it. I have just put you on Ignore so whatever u say, I cannot see at all. U can choose to continue shouting like a lunatic.
[AhBeNG_86] Dun bluff, I bet u can see this.
[Xia`xue] Laalaalaalallaalalala
-After a few minutes, when he is unaware-
[Xia`xue] Laalaalaalallaalalala! I still can't see you! Are u still ranting??
This method should work well for Ah bengs. In fact, it shld work well with everyone, but there are exceptions, which are the following two types of people: Horny bastards, and the Super Smart.
Because I tried to go to #nus to advertise for my 8910, which is not allowed in case u dunno about IRC rules, I had to change my nick to prevent embarrassment. I think some people in that channel know me and its totally unglam to be kicked out for advertising.
SO. I changed my nick to `8910, predictably. The nick could have several connotations to it.
1) I would like to purchase an 8910
2) I HAVE an 8910 (Aka I am relatively rich and purposely flaunting it).
3) I just like the 8910 with no intentions of actually buying it.
If u realised, ALL the options are good reasons for sex perverts to talk to me. With the 1st and 3rd reason I get dirty old men asking me whether I can do a blow for them for $200 an hour, and a few blows gets me the phone. (Blow for an hour?? Am I really that lousy, or are they just impotent??!) With the 2nd reason I get whores trying to sell me their bodies thinking I'm some rich fuck.
The only way to outirritate Horny Bastards are to outhorny them.
[7Inchdick] Hi, u want the 8910?
[Xia`xue] yes.
[7Inchdick] I buy for you, want?
-Change your nick to something that sounds melancholy-
[SoLonely] And what must I do for you?
[7Inchdick] I want to lick your pussy.... You wun feel lonely anymore. I will make you feel so wet, so good, so horny. I am masterbating to ur words now, in fact.
[SoLonely] =(
[7Inchdick] Why, darling? Come over to my place now, I got strawberry flavoured condom, sure you like it. I will go in, and out, and in, and out of you. I will make u cum.
[SoLonely] You sure?
[7Inchdick] Yes. Cum over. (pun intended, darling)
[SoLonely] How old are u?
[7Inchdick] 29, and you?
[SoLonely] I'm 56 you see. U wun want to lick my pussy. It is all crumpled after I gave birth to my 3 kids. I am lonely cause they are all still outside now. That Jolene ah, tml got school still go Thailand. And my husband left me after I gave birth to my youngest son 3 years ago. I need some love.
[7Inchdick] Eh, okie. I can dun mind ur age if u look still young and pretty.
[SoLonely] I can only give u my vital stats. 36, 32, 38. Oh man I wan you to lick my breasts. I wan u to lick my toes and my feet and my legs, although I haven shaved like for years. I want you to call me what my hubby used to call me, HoneyLips. It is refering to the other pair of lips of course. =( Now he calls HoneyLips, SaggyDroopyLips. I need love! And sex!
[7Inchdick] Eh, okie....
[SoLonely] Do send me a picture of you! I want a nude picture, so that I can look at it and stuff that hot lava lamp up my vagina!
[7Inchdick] Oh god u can stuff a lava lamp inside your vagina?
[SoLonely] You mean it is not normal???
-After viewing the pic-
[SoLonely] Your dick is so lovely. Can I put it up my arse??
[7InchDick] You are so disgusting!!!
[SoLonely] =( Sorry lar. I go over now k k? I send u my pic.
Have fun as the pervert runs away, totally freaked out. LOLz (to be continued)
