2003-07-13

I have just discovered the worst EVER way to argue with someone.

You see, once upon a time Eileen (Eileen who? Go see Character Intro, RV friends) had this ex boyfriend called Khai who had a pea-sized brain. Not only has he the brains of a caterpillar, he has the ego of Saturn's size. However, despite the obvious flaw in his intellect, he ALWAYS wins arguments with Eileen. Lets see how.

Eileen told me about this arguement she had with Khai.

-I forgot the exact arguement and so did Eileen so I shall just use another word to replace the argued word yeah?-

Eileen, to another friend when she was in a cab with Khai: "Yadda yadda yadda divorce yadda yadda"

Khai: "Divorce should be pronounced de-vorce and not die-vorce!" (Divorce is not the exact argued word.)

Eileen: "No what, it shld be pronounced die-vorce what, I'm quite sure about that."

Khai: "Pronounce it anyway u like, but I know I am correct coz Americans pronounce it that way."

Eileen: "But the British pronounce it my way."

Khai: "We shld follow the Americans."

Eileen: "Obviously we shld follow British coz our English follows their system in Singapore! Duh!"

Khai, knowing he lost the arguement: "Hiyah, De-vorce, die-vorce, WHO CARES?"

Eileen: "Yeah right if u dun care about it then in the first place why did u correct me?"

Khai: "WHO CARES?"

LOL.. So freaking irritating right. I suggest u start to do that to people u dislike alot. It is powerful, this who cares thingy. It not only lowers ur opponent by saying u dun give a shit about his opinions, it also gives u the final word in the arguement by saying that ur opponent may be correct, but u just dun think he is worth ur time arguing. And giving the last word in an arguement is a good cheap thrill to have.

So to people who dun like me:

Antixiaxue: U are freaking ugly and fat.

Me: Yeah okie I am. Who cares!

Lovejune: June is much more shu nu than u and prettier than you.

Me: Yeah okie. Who cares if she is?


To make the opponent EVEN more irritated, u can add a SO?

Eg:
Antixiaxue: You are freaking ugly and fat.

Me: So?

Antixiaxue: So u are wrong thinking u are pretty.

Me: So?

Antixiaxue: So u are a bitch, so so so!

Me: So?

Antixiaxue: Oh shut up~! Dun u have anything else better to argue?

Me: WHO CARES?


Finally, theres also one more method u can use that irritates the shit outta people. The word "Jealous". When u say someone is jealous, u are maligning the person without proof (who all know how terrible it feels to be accused.) and also, at the same time, praising urself. Ain't that great? Once again, it can be paired up with "who cares?", and I suggest to make the person damn angry u act irrelevant as well.

EG:
Antixiaxue: U are freaking ugly and fat.

Me: u jealous izzit.

Antixiaxue: I jealous of what, u amoeba-sized brain and ur fat thighs?

Me: Everyone knows u are jealous coz I am pretty and smart.

Antixiaxue: No u are not, u are damn stupid and ugly.

Me: Jealous jealous jealous! Admit it lar!

Antixiaxue: Urgh! Shut up lar! I am not jealous! Prove that u are worthy of my being jealous first.

Me: U are just plain jealous!

Antixiaxue: U are really arrogant, disgusting, fat and ugly. U shld go and die!

Me: Who cares?


See, it is foolproof. Try it on dumb people today. They all shldn't exist anyway, so lets torture them outta their existance.

P/s: Thanks to everyone who give nice comments in the previous blog, and to June: I am not upset anymore after I typed out my frustrations so dun u feel guilty or anything lidat okie? *muacks*

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2003-07-12

I am in a bad mood. I shall scold the next person who tells me June is pretty on MY blog. I am jealous, yes. Afterall, this is MY blog so give me a break will you? Dun tell me u come here just to see her pictures. Dun tell me u are not here for my writing. If so, please sod off, I dun need lusty pigs reading my blog.

I am feeling doubtful about the blog again. I know u guys gave me lots of generous encouragements, but I am really easily shaken. U say, I once commented to a friend that I think more females than males read my blog and asked him for an explanation.

He commented that I bitch alot thus girls will come read it. "Then what about guys?" I asked. Afterall there is a fair amount of the said gender too. He replied confidently, "Hiyah, u ask some chio bu to write anything people will read one lar."

I was deeply appalled despite the praise. Are there really such superficial guys around? Then what if the guys all read my blog coz they are hoping everyday to see a picture of June or XF?

Thats pretty disgusting. Please direct ur lust to http://juneisthebest.blogspot.com. I just set up the blog for u all. Dun come spray ur half transparent semen all over here, after this is MY blog, and ALL MINE! THE ONLY ADMIRERS ALLOWED HERE ARE MINE!

In here, u are allowed to comment stuff like, "June looks quite pretty in that picture", BUT NO WORSHIPPING! NO LICKING THE GROUND SHE STANDS ON! Thats about all I can tolerate. Afterall June is already happily attached to a man (boy i mean) she wants to marry and has been with for 3 years (make it 5 so it sounds more dramatic), so u dun STAND A CHANCE AT ALL.

And also, can u explain what u like about her? DO U EVEN KNOW HER? She may be a transvestite, for all u know. U see a few pictures, and a few comments (which are rare nowadays since her com spoilt) and u claim u are deeply in love. Newflash: She doesn't give a shit about you coz u are just one of those common horny bastards. And surprise surprise! She is not a shu nu!

You are as deep as a piece of this:


I am, on the other hand, perfect and single. But people who once liked June has no chance with me too, coz I dun like being second choice when obviously u didn't notice on first sight that I am a pure goddess.

Obviously I would get hate mail for this entry, once again. People saying I am selfish, jealous etc etc. Yup, I am. So what? Who cares? You still love my blog anyway.

Heres June's photo once again, just to piss u off by telling u u can't get her.



Oh, so cute! If only u could touch her! But no! U can't! Coz she is my lesbian partner and no one else can have her!

If u disagree with anything I say, u are only deluded. Everyone else loves me.

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2003-07-11

I just finished doing the FHM special for u guys... For so much work the end result is certainly not worth the effort.

I hope u all enjoy it... Coz as usual Yahoo geocities cocked up at the last page, so page 7 cannot be viewed properly. Its okie, just see the rest first lor.

Here it it... Leave me comments k k?

Nights everyone, I got to wake up at 9am for school tml...

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2003-07-10

I just checked my geocities photo page, and I realised that the said pages cannot be repaired! All I did to the site was to add in a "no-right-click" script to prevent people from copying and great! Now nothing can be accessed! Thus, I decided I hate geocities and I refuse to do the FHM special today. Those who are interested to see it leave a comment telling me to hurry up with it. Because no one left comments I decided no one is interested and thus I am not motivated to write it.

Nah, its just an excuse for my laziness. I'm not in a blogging mood tonight, so I think I shall just write about miscellaneous events happening recently.

Yesterday something very embarrassing happened on the MRT. I swear that the MRT is the most interesting place u can be at. It seems like weird events always happens on the MRT, I wonder why.

Anyway, yesterday night after work at Ritz Carlton, I was sitting on the last train home, and it was a very empty train. I was listening to my discman while grumbling to myself that my pay for that night was a meagre $25 when this Indian guy came on board.

My cabin had me sitting at a corner seat and two malay girls sitting at the other end of my seat. And then there was a Malay guy sitting directly opposite me on a corner seat too.

The young Indian guy got onto our cabin, and according to unspoken MRT etiqutte (somewhat like the male urinal etiqette thingy), the newbie to our cabin, the Indian guy, shld sit on the corner seat at the Malay guy's row right?

But he chose to sit in the middle of the malay guy's row of seats. I gave him a few glances. Hmmm... Looks quite cute ah. I regretted tying my hair into the chun li buns just coz I was feeling very hot.

Just when I was flipping my hair about, the Indian guy started to talk to the Malay guy in Melayu. Obviously I didn't understand, but according to sign language, he tried to start the conversation by requesting for a cigarette from the Malay guy. Which he managed to get.

And this is when, yours truly, ur favourite blog writer, decided to take photos to show u all the excitement going on. I pretended to be playing with my camera and made sure I turned off the flash.


I'm sorry but it seems he doesn't turn out cute looking in the pictures

And then he started to get chummy with the Malay guy.

I insist he is gay.



And then the Indian guy started to get the Malay guy's number. To make things easier for myself, at this point of time, I have decided to call the Indian guy Bala, and the Malay guy, (make a guess make a guess!) Ahmad.

So, Bala proved himself to be more gay by asking Ahmad for Ahmad's phone number.



Which, he managed to get too!

And then Bala did a very atrocious thing. He started to borrow from Ahmad a lighter as well, and started to smoke ON THE MRT! Can u believe it???

Naturally I aimed for a good shot of him with the cigarette in his mouth.



Spot the difference between the first 3 pictures and the last.

1) Bala was looking at the camera.

2) It is brighter.

3) From the reflection of the metal pole there is strong light, obviously coming from my direction.

Yes. My beloved Sony Cybershot decided to, despite me switching it to no-flash mode, turn on the flash by itself. IT HAS BETRAYED ME!!!

I was thoroughly embarrassed as everyone on the MRT looked at me, all realising that all these while I was stealing shots at the Indian guy, and not just viewing photos as I pretended to be doing all along.

I fumbled around with the camera pretending that I bought it this afternoon and had no idea how come the camera shot a picture by itself.

Obviously it didn't work.

Bala was horrified. He obviously thought I was about to report his evil doings to the MRT panel.

Come to think of it I could have threatened him for some money but I think he would turn violent.

Anyway, Bala came to sit down beside me and smiled at me. He then asked me if I minded if he smoked. I stupidly said no. Although I said no, he still looked disbelieving and he mumbled, "Oh, alright alright..." and extinguished the cigarette with his shoe on our clean MRT floor.

Now that irritated me. As if it was not atrocious enough that he risked all of our lives by having a flammable object on the train (dun smirk, recently Korea just had a fire on a train and hundreds were killed or something), he had to dirty our MRT floor. Citizens like him shld be banished to Zimbawee or anyone other country with an unpronouncable name.

But I was too embarrassed to scold him, PLUS, I have reached my stop. Ah, if only I am a burly man! I would have get some quick cash outta him. But if I am a burly man of course I would lose all my male readers.

Anyway, heres another miscellaneous picture.



In case u are wondering what the picture is for, I asked June to take a picture with a drink I discovered is very nice today. Snapples are selling at SP's FC6 recently and I bought this one today. Kiwi and strawberry! Nice!

And also... Ain't I great? For all of the male blog readers out there, I know that June is a hot favourite. So I asked her to be a model for the nice Snapple drink.

I feel relatively miserable that some people come to my blog to look at June/XF/even Gwenne?'s photos. But it is okie of course. Even in Meteor Garden, not everyone likes Jerry Yan but some people choose to like, say, the sidekick Ken Chu. If u dunno what the hell I am talking about, its F4 lar.

If u dunno what F4 is, it is a keyboard key.

Anyway June is the hot favourite of Xiaxue's friends, with two admirers of hers and plenty of compliments. Xf comes in close with one of her own admirer on my blog (someone who aptly nicknamed himself Secret Admirer)

I think I have 3 admirers, so I am actually the hot favourite! Am I right, "in luv with you", "To Dearest Snow" and another guy (I forgot the nickname he uses)?

Anyway, I'm under the impression that there are more females than males who read my blog, so please do the poll to let me know the results? Must do it okie okie?

Whoosh I am so happy!

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2003-07-09

ENOUGH about shu nus! Everyone is sick of that topic, no? Lets move on to what everyone is more interested about; SEXY BABES.

Be prepared for an eye feast tonight, I will be doing up a few geocities pages on FHM's 100 sexiest women (both the UK and SG version. I know u dun have the UK one) , complete with comments from yours truly.

Oh wait, I think I will be posting up just pictures of the girls that I dislike. Thats for the Singapore one of course, and I would also expose to u guys how Mediaworks actually bribed FHM to put their artistes in the magazine.

As for the UK version... It is really loaded with babes! A few selected pictures would be up too. I suppose, for ur pleasure, I would have to do the web pages till the wee hours of the night. Thats course I am going to work at the Ritz right now.

Ain't I great? Entertainment for u guys every night and best of all? It is all FREE... Anyone wants to advertise on my site please to give me some incentives?

Gosh I want a sugar daddy.

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I'm too tired to blog! It is the first day of school and hey, I feel quite glad that I can see my classmates again.

I feel like hugging Shuyin, June and Clara for fun, sorta missed them.

Meanwhile, the very ironic thing is that except the 3 I mentioned plus a few guys, I seem to dislike my classmates more after the long break. It is weird ain't it? How much muz u hate people to dislike them more after u see them again after a long break? Very much I guess. I go like: Gosh, why does she STILL exist???

Not surprisingly, the rest of my class consists of Shu nus.

Very freaking boring shu nus. Actually I quite like shu nus cause back in RV days, I found great pleasure talking to Shu nus coz they giggle at everything u say. They gave me all the laughter I wanted from an audience. The difference between Poly shu nus and RV shu nus are:

1) RV shu nus dun speak much coz they just dun feel like speaking much. Poly shu nus are dumb so they have nothing to say anyway.

2) RV shu nus laugh at my jokes coz they are intelligent enough to understand them. (Read: If u dun find this site funny, u are a Poly Shu nu, in which u shld wish to be reincarnated as a piece of llama's liver, that will be more interesting than what u are currently; a Poly Shu nu.)

3) Rv shu nus, despite being conventional rather nerdy shu nus, readily accept sexual jokes and just smack me, laugh and say: "You ah!" Poly shu nus think that talking about sex is rude.

If u are a Poly student, u are probably very angry right now. U scream: "ARE U IMPLYING THAT POLY STUDENTS ARE DUMB?"

Nope. I am not saying that. Since I have not interacted with all Poly students before I cannot make that conclusion. Poly kids that I know at my classmates. And some of my classmates are dumb. June agrees with me. Shu yin agrees with me too. Thats all I am trying to say, which is that some of my classmates are not very intelligent.

Am I implying that I am very intelligent? No. I cannot calculate the trajectory of the Bugis fountain. I got a D7 for my A maths in O levels. I suck at checkers even; whenever I try to eat double I end up being eaten double.

But the shu nus in my class. haiz... I shall refrain from being mean by shutting up right now.

You may think I am like so ultra mean to talk bad about my classmates like that. Well, they started it.

Shu nus MY FOOT! Once u turn ur back they become vindictive backstabbers. I dun even UNDERSTAND why people BOTHER to even backstab. If u dun like the person, just stay away from her lar! So free to go and plot and plot vicious ways of making life worse for the fella.

U see, I had no idea that my classmates (the shu nu gang) did not like me at first. So I went around get chummy with everyone and trying to make everyone's life better by saying a joke or two, and I had no idea they got offended, coz they actually pretended to laugh.

Typically, my jokes are PG 13. I reckon they are mentally less than 13 years of age so they get offended. I hate people who cannot take jokes. I hate serious people. I hate people who dun appreciate my jokes. Worst of all I hate serious people who cannot take jokes to dun appreciate my jokes.

Digressing for a moment it seems like my recent blog entries are all so angry. I will try to be more cheerful tml, I promise.

Anyway, there was this one day when Shu yin and I had a big quarrel. And then the class shu nus all wanted a share of the excitement and no doubt they all told Shu yin I was a bitch etc etc. They all started to scold me for something which was totally none of their business. Eg: "Wendy, Shuyin is ur good fren how can u do this to her blah blah?"

I had a good mind to tell them it is none of their fucking business whatsoever but I was too busy getting upset over the main issue.

After the quarrel me and Shuyin patched things up, and one day Shuyin told me that they had some difficulty deciding the project groupings. I asked her why, and she said that alot of people dun wanna group with me. I was damn shocked.

We were in the lecture hall, so I asked her to point out who didn't wanna work with me, and she pointed everyone in the shu nu gang. WTF! Then June joined in and told me that all this while they found my jokes crude and offensive, thus didn't like me.

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(Continued) Here is an example ok.
I hope this amuses you, coz it amused me alot.

June wore a thick frame spectacle that day to school, and it made her look rather nerdy. Coincidentally, she had on very decent clothes as well, I think it was a buttoned up cardigan with jeans.

It was filming lessons so they were deciding on who to shoot our film on. I said, "Take June lar, she looks like one of those teacher porn stars today. Act decent then suddenly throw away the specs and remove the cardigan, inside all leather sia! Hahaha.."

Okie I know the joke is not funny. It is not really meant to be funny! It is just a bo liao comment.

And u know what are the reactions? Everyone got really angry.

"OMG WENDY how can u say that!!" *disgusted look*

"Yeah lar you claim June is ur good friend yet u do this to her?!" *flabbergasted look*

"How can u say such a thing?!" *Appalled look*

Woah! Suddenly I am attacked from everywhere. Where do my classmates come from, Virginland?? In all seriousness, what is wrong with my comment?? Is it offensive? It wasn't EVEN TARGETED AT THEM!

If I rule the government, I will make sure everytime a person cannot take a reasonable joke, he will have to go and live with a sex pervert for 1 month. Throughout that 1 month, the only form of entertainment in the prison is Bill Crosby's show Kids' Say, which is the most horrible show in the universe with cheeky kids thinking they are very smart and talking crap and expecting us to laugh along.

I think this plan is very good indeed because most possibly people who cannot take jokes are very serious and boring people, so the sex pervert would get his just punishments too by staying with such a person for a month. If the sex pervert commited beastiality, which I totally detest (why shag animals when there are insects around?), I will throw in an accountant in the cell. That will teach him to commit beastiality!

Muahahahaha!

The only problem is that there are more "I-can't-take-a-simple-joke" people than sex perverts. For a simple statistics count, my class habours around 12 such people and only one sex pervert, which is me. Thus the plan is flawed coz the sex pervert will die within a few days interacting with such dull people, and also the dull people can talk Dullish (their language which nobody understands) to each other and thoroughly enjoy prison life.

The only solution would be to increase Sex perverts. If I rule the Government, I would buy over Kazaa and make another version of the program called KazaaPorn. Not only will this make sex perverts increase, I can make money by selling KazaaPornPlatinum (at a revoluntionary price of $14.99) to customers, and KazaaPornPlatinum is no doubt the EXACT same program as KazaaPorn, but sex perverts wun notice such details.

If only I rule! The world will be perfect. We will be left with very scared people who laugh at everything I say. Ain't that great? The world will be a much better place w/o dull shu nus u think?

Not to panic if Shu nus are ur sexual fantasies and u are afraid they will all be locked up in prison. I will, if u purchase KazaaPornPlatinum, let u shag them. In fact, it is great that u can shag them at a prison, it acts to the bondage feeling doesn't it?

But what u dunno is that once u step into the trembling Shu nu's cell rubbing ur hands together in glee, I will catch u into the next prison cell and put u with a cannot-take-jokes person. THATS FOR BEING A SEX PERVERT! Whats more, with the shu nu locked beside u, u will thirst for her more everyday and that will torment you infinitely till u die, and thats not counting the Bill Crosby part.

It is a win-win situation coz the shu nu will live in fear everyday that u might break the separation bars and rape her. THAT WILL TEACH HER TO BE A DUMB SHU NU!

Meanwhile smart Shu nus will work under me coz I pay them alot of money. I will pay them to attract the guys that I like, and then do something mean and horrible to the said guy. The said guy will get very upset and this is where my role comes in. I will comfort him and pretend to be at his side, and he will become mine!!!

If only I rule the world.

But I dun. I think I wrote too much. Did I mention in the front that I am too tired to blog? Oh well. Thats what fatigue does to u, u start to think nonsense. Okie good night, will blog more on daily events tml.

Oh yeah I forgot. A reader just wrote in the tagboard that he/she saw me today! I am so freaked out. Ok honestly speaking, how many of u have seen me before in real life? Leave me a comment!

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