What is it about height anyway? I dun see why that is a plus point at all. Sure, it helps u take stuff from high selves. Sure, the air u breathe is fresher. But as I have once said before, aesthetics is all about proportion, not height.
Perhaps u guys forgot the cavemen story on how height became an important factor for beauty nowadays. Maybe I shld reillustrate it?
Indeed, I shall. For those of u who read it before, please read it again coz obviously u didn�t get my point.
Once upon a time very very long ago, the earth was only populated by Cavepeople and perhaps some sabertooth tigers. The Cavepeople were divided into groups by their height, coz the taller ones are usually the stronger and more successful. The tall cavepeople are leaders because it is more possible for them to find food as they are the ones who can reach higher up the trees for fruits, and go deeper into the rivers to catch fish.
Not unexpectedly, they run faster too (longer legs, longer strides), thus they dun often get killed by the said sabertooth tigers.
The leaders of the pack, aka the Tall Cavepeople, decided one day that Tall is good, Tall is beautiful, Tall is everything nice.
Being tall cavemen, they wanted tall cavewomen too, so that the cavewomen dun look so stubbed (I dun think there is such a word, but heck.) standing beside them. Besides this, tall cavewomen cannot claim that they are too short to wash clothes in the river without being washed away. This point, the tall cavemen liked!
So they started to make Tall Cavebabies by only letting the Tallest Caveman and Tallest Cavewomen have sex. And boy did they have sex! They �oooh!� and �ahhh!� all day long in the day, mating and mating.
Slowly, the Short Cavepeople foresaw what is going to happen to them. You see, God was fair and mighty in those days, and he made the short cavepeople smarter instead of taller and stronger. The Short cavepeople knew that with more Tall Cavepeople, they would be kicked out of the gang to become outcasts pretty soon, and be bullied more.
The Short Cavepeople were totally against the idea of the fruit of Tallest Caveman and Tallest Cavewoman�s labour.
And they were short. So they can�t do much about it, except whine the whole day and give the Tallest Caveman and Tallest Cavewoman a kick whenever they passed by that eventful cave. Not that the Tallest Caveman and Tallest Cavewoman noticed of course.
The Average-height Cavepeople were pissed with all the pandemonium. In fact, they were pissed with almost everything. They were the only type of people God seems to be unfair to. God gave them half brains and half height.
In fact, the Average-height Cavepeople were so pissed with the constant moaning of the Tallest Caveman and Tallest Cavewoman, and the constant whining of the Short Cavepeople, that they can�t take it any longer. They took out a parang (a kinda knife their kind invented) and slaugthered the shit outta Tallest Caveman and Tallest Cavewoman.
It may be interesting to note that Tallest Cavewoman was killed exactly when she got her first orgasm, also marking the first pre-historic orgasm ever (She was 13 and stood at 1.87m) in the records of history. From then on people concluded that girls like excitements such as being threatened with a parang while having sex and therefore came bondage and sado-masochism.
Anyway, we can imagine the aftermath of the bloodshed. The tall cavepeople were very angry with the Average-height Cavepeople for the unreasonable killings of the Tallest of their kind. They decided they shall tolerate no more of such nonsense, and with a huff, they took the pre-historic heels they made for their then-still-not-that-tall cavewomen and left the place.
Without the Tall Cavepeople�s help to catch food, the rest suffered significant losses in their meals. Secretly the smart Short Cavepeople were inventing fishing rods and arrows and spears for easier gaming, and they once tried to teach the Average-height Cavepeople how to use those things, but they were just to dumb to learn.
Instead, the average-height Cavepeople decided that it was the Short Cavepeople�s fault for whining in the first place, and started to beat the Short Cavepeople up whenever they can. The Short Cavepeople, being kind-hearted fellows actually, started to decided it IS their fault that the Tallest Caveman and Tallest Cavewoman got killed.
With the beatings and the guilt, they could take it no more and migrated in an opposite direction to the Tall Cavepeople.
The Average height Cavepeople were in a loss. Now, they were lazy bastards and were very happy with the Short Cavepeople�s catches but now that both the Tall and Short were gone, they had no food.
So they secretly followed the Short Cavepeople, and stopped a few hundred of kilometres away from them, coz they discovered that their country has a few nice islands.
A few earthquakes which split the earth and a few billions years later, the Tall Cavepeople found themselves in Paris, and that�s why the supermodels all got �great height�. The phrase �looks like a model� was actually a shortened form of �Looks like a living model of the Tallest Cavewoman�.
The Short Cavepeople, now having evolved into wimpy people not willing to voice any opinions (and not to mention, short), were actually there before Sang Nila Utama came to our sunny island, called Singapore.
The barbaric Average-height Cavepeople, being stupid, can only watch from a distance the success of the Short community (of course they will succeed coz they are smart) with a very sore eye.
They, up to this day, still bully the Short community because the Short community is tolerant and good-natured. One day, we will reach up to our limits and fire all the �Average height� workers working in our country. We see how they will survive!
Alright! So now u know why height is seen as being important in our society. However, nobody stopped to think that ladders have render tree climbing useless.
Boats have rendered deep river fishing useless.
Cars have rendered escaping from wild animals useless, not to mention that the Sabertooth tiger is extinct.
So height has no use whatsoever nowadays. It is just and age-old tradition that tall is good. Yes, tall men look stronger, thus it is undeniable that they look better.
But tall women? There is no need to look strong at all for women. I personally think that long legs will get entangled in bed, so short women are better sex partners.
I shall make it clear. In my blog, any comment saying tall is good or shu nu is good or anything I once wrote is bad is good, shall be deleted without pity. My blog is an Anti height, anti shu nu blog so sod off.
Tall is good, but short is better. Now learn to say �Wow, she is so short!� in the same breath as �Wow, she is so tall!� and dun be one of those stupid people so influenced by society�s view. Afterall, short people tend to live longer. Look at those Japanese.
-I can hear u short people cheering-
Just some random pictures.
Thats Clara on the right... And the cutie on her left! It is her Chung Cheng classmate who later became an actor is The Unbeatables III! Cute huh?
Someone, I dun remember who, took a picture with my digicam coz it was the first time he/she saw it since I bought it in the hols. It accidentally features me playing with Aaron's new SL55 (Dun gasp, the 8910 is nicer ok.) and looking remarkably thin for totally NO PHOTOSHOP DONE. I think I shall start to wear black, although I dun like it coz it looks morbid and I am a happy happy person!
And Clara is actually pretty too. U can see that she has a cute dimple and a nice nose. Just between u and me, I shall tell u that she has big boobs too! For those of u idolising XF and June, perhaps u wud like a change of target.
Last but not least in the picture is Aaron's green eye. It looks damn scary, hahaha.. He seems to look pissed that I robbed him of his new phone.
I would like to mention the necklace. U see, I bought it some time ago, and everyone said it is ugly. Thats is because it writes Zhao Cai Jing Bao on it, exactly like the kind ur mum gets from the temple, except bigger. But I persisted in wearing it often.
AND IT WORKS! Did u know that Ritz Carlton kept asking me to work, Tiger Beer asked me to work, and the talent agency I worked for for Guinness asked me to work too! MONEY IS ROLLING IN! I am filthy rich again! Well alright not yet anyway. Soon.
Okie I am gonna skip school tml. I am a very bad student. Good night all!
Oh yeah I forgot to mention: For all of u who haven seen the FHM special coz it cannot be viewed, u can see it here. It wouldn't run outta bandwidth again, all thanks to Richard who mirrored it for me. It is exactly the same so if u saw it already there is no need to go again.
Thanks Richard!
And I urge everyone to take the poll to tell me if u are a guy or girl k k? It is just below the tagboard, and it is anonymous so just clicking wun do anything scary like popping pop-up ads to u. Or perhaps it does, i dunno.
But JUST DO THE POLL! I dun believe only 16 people and one amoeba read my blog!
I have just discovered the worst EVER way to argue with someone.
You see, once upon a time Eileen (Eileen who? Go see Character Intro, RV friends) had this ex boyfriend called Khai who had a pea-sized brain. Not only has he the brains of a caterpillar, he has the ego of Saturn's size. However, despite the obvious flaw in his intellect, he ALWAYS wins arguments with Eileen. Lets see how.
Eileen told me about this arguement she had with Khai.
-I forgot the exact arguement and so did Eileen so I shall just use another word to replace the argued word yeah?-
Eileen, to another friend when she was in a cab with Khai: "Yadda yadda yadda divorce yadda yadda"
Khai: "Divorce should be pronounced de-vorce and not die-vorce!" (Divorce is not the exact argued word.)
Eileen: "No what, it shld be pronounced die-vorce what, I'm quite sure about that."
Khai: "Pronounce it anyway u like, but I know I am correct coz Americans pronounce it that way."
Eileen: "But the British pronounce it my way."
Khai: "We shld follow the Americans."
Eileen: "Obviously we shld follow British coz our English follows their system in Singapore! Duh!"
Khai, knowing he lost the arguement: "Hiyah, De-vorce, die-vorce, WHO CARES?"
Eileen: "Yeah right if u dun care about it then in the first place why did u correct me?"
Khai: "WHO CARES?"
LOL.. So freaking irritating right. I suggest u start to do that to people u dislike alot. It is powerful, this who cares thingy. It not only lowers ur opponent by saying u dun give a shit about his opinions, it also gives u the final word in the arguement by saying that ur opponent may be correct, but u just dun think he is worth ur time arguing. And giving the last word in an arguement is a good cheap thrill to have.
So to people who dun like me:
Antixiaxue: U are freaking ugly and fat.
Me: Yeah okie I am. Who cares!
Lovejune: June is much more shu nu than u and prettier than you.
Me: Yeah okie. Who cares if she is?
To make the opponent EVEN more irritated, u can add a SO?
Eg:
Antixiaxue: You are freaking ugly and fat.
Me: So?
Antixiaxue: So u are wrong thinking u are pretty.
Me: So?
Antixiaxue: So u are a bitch, so so so!
Me: So?
Antixiaxue: Oh shut up~! Dun u have anything else better to argue?
Me: WHO CARES?
Finally, theres also one more method u can use that irritates the shit outta people. The word "Jealous". When u say someone is jealous, u are maligning the person without proof (who all know how terrible it feels to be accused.) and also, at the same time, praising urself. Ain't that great? Once again, it can be paired up with "who cares?", and I suggest to make the person damn angry u act irrelevant as well.
EG:
Antixiaxue: U are freaking ugly and fat.
Me: u jealous izzit.
Antixiaxue: I jealous of what, u amoeba-sized brain and ur fat thighs?
Me: Everyone knows u are jealous coz I am pretty and smart.
Antixiaxue: No u are not, u are damn stupid and ugly.
Me: Jealous jealous jealous! Admit it lar!
Antixiaxue: Urgh! Shut up lar! I am not jealous! Prove that u are worthy of my being jealous first.
Me: U are just plain jealous!
Antixiaxue: U are really arrogant, disgusting, fat and ugly. U shld go and die!
Me: Who cares?
See, it is foolproof. Try it on dumb people today. They all shldn't exist anyway, so lets torture them outta their existance.
P/s: Thanks to everyone who give nice comments in the previous blog, and to June: I am not upset anymore after I typed out my frustrations so dun u feel guilty or anything lidat okie? *muacks* Read The Full Article
I am in a bad mood. I shall scold the next person who tells me June is pretty on MY blog. I am jealous, yes. Afterall, this is MY blog so give me a break will you? Dun tell me u come here just to see her pictures. Dun tell me u are not here for my writing. If so, please sod off, I dun need lusty pigs reading my blog.
I am feeling doubtful about the blog again. I know u guys gave me lots of generous encouragements, but I am really easily shaken. U say, I once commented to a friend that I think more females than males read my blog and asked him for an explanation.
He commented that I bitch alot thus girls will come read it. "Then what about guys?" I asked. Afterall there is a fair amount of the said gender too. He replied confidently, "Hiyah, u ask some chio bu to write anything people will read one lar."
I was deeply appalled despite the praise. Are there really such superficial guys around? Then what if the guys all read my blog coz they are hoping everyday to see a picture of June or XF?
Thats pretty disgusting. Please direct ur lust to http://juneisthebest.blogspot.com. I just set up the blog for u all. Dun come spray ur half transparent semen all over here, after this is MY blog, and ALL MINE! THE ONLY ADMIRERS ALLOWED HERE ARE MINE!
In here, u are allowed to comment stuff like, "June looks quite pretty in that picture", BUT NO WORSHIPPING! NO LICKING THE GROUND SHE STANDS ON! Thats about all I can tolerate. Afterall June is already happily attached to a man (boy i mean) she wants to marry and has been with for 3 years (make it 5 so it sounds more dramatic), so u dun STAND A CHANCE AT ALL.
And also, can u explain what u like about her? DO U EVEN KNOW HER? She may be a transvestite, for all u know. U see a few pictures, and a few comments (which are rare nowadays since her com spoilt) and u claim u are deeply in love. Newflash: She doesn't give a shit about you coz u are just one of those common horny bastards. And surprise surprise! She is not a shu nu!
You are as deep as a piece of this:
I am, on the other hand, perfect and single. But people who once liked June has no chance with me too, coz I dun like being second choice when obviously u didn't notice on first sight that I am a pure goddess.
Obviously I would get hate mail for this entry, once again. People saying I am selfish, jealous etc etc. Yup, I am. So what? Who cares? You still love my blog anyway.
Heres June's photo once again, just to piss u off by telling u u can't get her.
Oh, so cute! If only u could touch her! But no! U can't! Coz she is my lesbian partner and no one else can have her!
If u disagree with anything I say, u are only deluded. Everyone else loves me.
I just finished doing the FHM special for u guys... For so much work the end result is certainly not worth the effort.
I hope u all enjoy it... Coz as usual Yahoo geocities cocked up at the last page, so page 7 cannot be viewed properly. Its okie, just see the rest first lor.
Here it it... Leave me comments k k?
Nights everyone, I got to wake up at 9am for school tml...
I just checked my geocities photo page, and I realised that the said pages cannot be repaired! All I did to the site was to add in a "no-right-click" script to prevent people from copying and great! Now nothing can be accessed! Thus, I decided I hate geocities and I refuse to do the FHM special today. Those who are interested to see it leave a comment telling me to hurry up with it. Because no one left comments I decided no one is interested and thus I am not motivated to write it.
Nah, its just an excuse for my laziness. I'm not in a blogging mood tonight, so I think I shall just write about miscellaneous events happening recently.
Yesterday something very embarrassing happened on the MRT. I swear that the MRT is the most interesting place u can be at. It seems like weird events always happens on the MRT, I wonder why.
Anyway, yesterday night after work at Ritz Carlton, I was sitting on the last train home, and it was a very empty train. I was listening to my discman while grumbling to myself that my pay for that night was a meagre $25 when this Indian guy came on board.
My cabin had me sitting at a corner seat and two malay girls sitting at the other end of my seat. And then there was a Malay guy sitting directly opposite me on a corner seat too.
The young Indian guy got onto our cabin, and according to unspoken MRT etiqutte (somewhat like the male urinal etiqette thingy), the newbie to our cabin, the Indian guy, shld sit on the corner seat at the Malay guy's row right?
But he chose to sit in the middle of the malay guy's row of seats. I gave him a few glances. Hmmm... Looks quite cute ah. I regretted tying my hair into the chun li buns just coz I was feeling very hot.
Just when I was flipping my hair about, the Indian guy started to talk to the Malay guy in Melayu. Obviously I didn't understand, but according to sign language, he tried to start the conversation by requesting for a cigarette from the Malay guy. Which he managed to get.
And this is when, yours truly, ur favourite blog writer, decided to take photos to show u all the excitement going on. I pretended to be playing with my camera and made sure I turned off the flash.
I'm sorry but it seems he doesn't turn out cute looking in the pictures
And then he started to get chummy with the Malay guy.
I insist he is gay.
And then the Indian guy started to get the Malay guy's number. To make things easier for myself, at this point of time, I have decided to call the Indian guy Bala, and the Malay guy, (make a guess make a guess!) Ahmad.
So, Bala proved himself to be more gay by asking Ahmad for Ahmad's phone number.
Which, he managed to get too!
And then Bala did a very atrocious thing. He started to borrow from Ahmad a lighter as well, and started to smoke ON THE MRT! Can u believe it???
Naturally I aimed for a good shot of him with the cigarette in his mouth.
Spot the difference between the first 3 pictures and the last.
1) Bala was looking at the camera.
2) It is brighter.
3) From the reflection of the metal pole there is strong light, obviously coming from my direction.
Yes. My beloved Sony Cybershot decided to, despite me switching it to no-flash mode, turn on the flash by itself. IT HAS BETRAYED ME!!!
I was thoroughly embarrassed as everyone on the MRT looked at me, all realising that all these while I was stealing shots at the Indian guy, and not just viewing photos as I pretended to be doing all along.
I fumbled around with the camera pretending that I bought it this afternoon and had no idea how come the camera shot a picture by itself.
Obviously it didn't work.
Bala was horrified. He obviously thought I was about to report his evil doings to the MRT panel.
Come to think of it I could have threatened him for some money but I think he would turn violent.
Anyway, Bala came to sit down beside me and smiled at me. He then asked me if I minded if he smoked. I stupidly said no. Although I said no, he still looked disbelieving and he mumbled, "Oh, alright alright..." and extinguished the cigarette with his shoe on our clean MRT floor.
Now that irritated me. As if it was not atrocious enough that he risked all of our lives by having a flammable object on the train (dun smirk, recently Korea just had a fire on a train and hundreds were killed or something), he had to dirty our MRT floor. Citizens like him shld be banished to Zimbawee or anyone other country with an unpronouncable name.
But I was too embarrassed to scold him, PLUS, I have reached my stop. Ah, if only I am a burly man! I would have get some quick cash outta him. But if I am a burly man of course I would lose all my male readers.
Anyway, heres another miscellaneous picture.
In case u are wondering what the picture is for, I asked June to take a picture with a drink I discovered is very nice today. Snapples are selling at SP's FC6 recently and I bought this one today. Kiwi and strawberry! Nice!
And also... Ain't I great? For all of the male blog readers out there, I know that June is a hot favourite. So I asked her to be a model for the nice Snapple drink.
I feel relatively miserable that some people come to my blog to look at June/XF/even Gwenne?'s photos. But it is okie of course. Even in Meteor Garden, not everyone likes Jerry Yan but some people choose to like, say, the sidekick Ken Chu. If u dunno what the hell I am talking about, its F4 lar.
If u dunno what F4 is, it is a keyboard key.
Anyway June is the hot favourite of Xiaxue's friends, with two admirers of hers and plenty of compliments. Xf comes in close with one of her own admirer on my blog (someone who aptly nicknamed himself Secret Admirer)
I think I have 3 admirers, so I am actually the hot favourite! Am I right, "in luv with you", "To Dearest Snow" and another guy (I forgot the nickname he uses)?
Anyway, I'm under the impression that there are more females than males who read my blog, so please do the poll to let me know the results? Must do it okie okie?
Whoosh I am so happy!
