Oh my god oh my god. I am really really touched by all the comments u guys left after the latest entry. U people are really the best, seriously speaking. *tears* And anyway, I would just like to admit that the previous entry was simply one caused by PMS (I really got my period around 4 hours after I wrote that entry), so I am feeling much better. Thats right, women and mood swings, heehee...
Just now something very terrible happened. I got home after a job interview (which I succeeded) as a mobile phone promoter (some new brand) and I rushed into the bathroom to bathe happily. Stripped down to nothing and sat on the toilet seat while replying XF's sms (yes I bring my phones into the toilet). As I was clicking away, something brown and nervous flew straight towards me, seemingly attracted to my belly ring area.
A giant moth, spanning 4 cm in length I'm sure, if it spread its wings properly. It flew towards my naked body at 80 km/hr and while I was paralysed with disgust, landed "turp, flutter, flutter" on my stomach and bounced off to my thighs.
I sent a silent prayer to whoever up there that it didn't land on my boobs.
From my thighs, it proceeded to act as if it was very scared of the actions of me doing a combination of shrieking, screaming my head off and flinging my hands everywhere. How could that stupid thing be scared? He knows jolly well that teenage Singaporean females will not dare to kill it. It is HAVING GREAT FUN! It happily flew everywhere near me (around the face area) while my mum, maid and brother shouted and asked me what is wrong. No doubt they thought I had gone mad.
And it knew that it can happily fulfil its voyeurism coz it will take some time for me to wrap myself in a towel, wipe my a** (sorry for the explicit details), flush the toilet, and then open the bathroom door for rescuers to come in.
Singaporean girls might not kill it, but Indonesian women have no pity. My maid stepped into the bathroom, took some toilet paper, and smashed the powdery cretin to the last of its lusty life.
I continued with my shower thinking how, if that little piece of *toot* was still alive, I would torture it. I would put it a little plastic box. I would shake it like it was a pepper shaker. I would pull its feelers out one by one, followed by legs. I will dangle a female moth (I'm sure the one who attacked me is male) in front of it and not allow it to mate. I would then put the moth into the microwave and turn the heat to "low" and let it scald. Slowly. As if that is not enough, just when it is almost too hot for it to survive, i will take it outta the microwave.
It thinks that finally it is getting cooler. I WOULD GIVE IT COOLER! I will put into pieces of ice cubes to freeze it to death. And finally when the ice cubes melt and it thinks that it is finally not so cold, it would DROWN!!! BWAHAHAHAHHAHA! *Evil laughter*
It was a traumatizing bath I had.
Anyway, after what seems like an extremely long time, I finally had a good hair day! In actual fact, my hair looked like utter shit in the morning. Feeling pissed, I took out one of those rollers u thought only aunties use and put them on. Ah! After 3 hours, those stupid dead cells had no choice but to curl up nicely.
I looked at the awesome hair in excitement, and did something very stupid.
U see, the problem with my hair is that it is like a gremlin. It simply cannot touch water or horrible lumps will start popping up and destroying the world.
I forgot this little fact and in a desperate attempt to try to freeze the curls into position for the rest of the day, sprayed gel all over it.
And the gel boosted its high water content proudly while my curls disintergratd into hair Hermione Granger would be ashamed of.
But! I managed to take a photo b4 it went too bad.
Something must be done to the hair. I am thinking of dyeing it blonde.
I'm sick of my curls being so ugly most of the time nowadays. I wanna go rebonding it and cut it into something moe stylish. Say, Landy (wen lan)'s hair? I'm worried about the fringe part though. Here it is, jet black hair w/o fringe.
Here it is with fringe:
please try to ignore that the neck is a different colour.
I am aware it looks relatively ugly. But I'm quite sure I will straighten it, and put a single white (or pink, I haven't decided which) streak in the fringe like Landy did. I feel like spending money on hair.
If not on hair, then where else shld I spend my immerse fortune on?
You see, the zhao cai jin bao necklace really works. Eileen called me up to ask me to work as a pair with her to promote Hennessy, which is paying 80 bucks for 3 hours of work.
That pretty good money! If I work for 3 days a week I would get 960 bucks a month, holy shit!
I feel filthy rich already.
It will be time to buy an mp3 player. Take a look at my discman, so terribly injured.
Can u beliece this piece of antique was a gift from mum for good PSLE results?!
I already have too many gadgets I bring out everyday (palm, camera, two phones),so I decided I shall purchase the Nokia mp3 player so that at least it looks like it comes with the phone (if only)
Hurray, so exciting! And to everyone who gave me encouragements all this while, thank u again for being there when I was so down!
Btw, I feel like setting up #xiaxue in irc so that I can talk to my readers leh. Is it too bhb? Will u all support? If yes just go into the channel tml night k k?
Oh yeah please do gimme comments on the hair k ?
-A mega hug for everyone-
The day before, I was busy being upset with XF being VIP server instead of me. Yesterday, I was upset because PY told me that XF confided in her that she felt, although I am a good friend of hers, I never seem to be able to feel happy for anything good that happens to her.
Thats not true. I felt sincerely glad for her when she got into the Uni course she wants. Its just that.. never mind already. I wonder how we are supposed to feel glad for others when we ourselves are down?
If u failed ur O levels, would u feel happy for a friend who got 9 A1s? Some people can sincerely do that. Perhaps their heart is split into two parts and while one part is bleeding with the own failure, the other part is feeling sincerely happy. So does the face register a frown or a smile? It is impossible for the two to go together.
Perhaps my heart is one whole big lump then. When I fail and someone I cared about succeeds with the exact same results i would like to get in the same test, I would be too busy brooding over my own failure and can't bring myself to rejoice even about scientists inventing a medicine which can eliminate pimples from the face of this earth.
I wonder what to say to XF. Congratulations for being promoted? Ah well, I can be polite all I want, but it is hypocritical. I tried, I really did. The excitement I put on when I told her rang phoney in my ears.
I have worked for a much longer time. I have much more experience. I AM THE ONE WHO ANNOUNCED BEFORE THAT I WANTED TO BE THE VIP SERVER while XF and PY commented that it is no big deal being it and they can't be bothered with such minor issues. It is thoroughly embarrassing to me. Utterly humiliating.
I know XF would give up the position to me to make me feel happier. Yet, I can't seem to even bother to hide feeling upset to let her feel glad about something which I shld be proud of her about. I am the world's suckiest friend ever.
I didn't hide my feelings, coz I thought if I had to hide my feelings to even my best friend, who else can I speak the truth to?
4 out of the 8 paragraphs I wrote starts with "I". Thats right, I'm a self-centred bitch.
Of course, I shldn't speak my true feelings to XF coz it will make her feel upset. I am just too DARN selfish to realise that.
My conscience is shouting to me: "What do u expect XF to do about this, huh? It is not her fault that she got promoted! It is ur own fault for slacking at work. So u want Ritz Carlton to promote u and watch u steal food from the bridal table? U want XF to get all upset and maybe even guilty for causing ur unreasonable anger when she shld rightfully be glad of her accomplishments because she totally deserved it?"
I whimpered painfully at the thoughts. I am being pulled both ways. This sucks. No one shld be the VIP server so no friendship gets hurt over such trivial stuff.
No, thats not what it shld be. I would rather the VIP server be XF than some other lousy waitress. And it is my own problem that I got upset. No one else would be. PY isn't upset. Cloudy ain't upset. The world is still spinning and I can jolly well accept the fact and stop making XF feel so dilemmic, if there is such a word.
So, thats it XF. I got over it already. U are better at some, I am better at some. It is just that it happened that I thought I was better at banqueting than u, and I am wrong. Well, sod it. Who cares about banqueting. I rule at blog writing, but thats the only thing I feel I am good at nowadays.
My self-confidence is at an ALL TIME LOW. I hope u stupid bastards who insensitively keep praising June and XF and insulting me can stop it coz I am close to tears already. I am not threatening. This is the truth.
Perhaps what I am feeling is just so trivial. My maid pulled me close just now, and confided to me that the man she loves back in Indonesia has married another woman, and the woman is pregnant. She non-chalently continued to cut up the carrot to cook for my dinner while I remained silent and siad nothing for a long while.
My troubles are so small compared to hers. I can work harder at Ritz and be promoted in a jiffy and stop being so sullen and sour. Self confidence can be regained about looks, if I just go to some club and sit around. Guys would come and tell me I am beautiful. I might have to choose to neglect the fact that they only want to get into my pants of course.
But my maid? She can't even go back to Indonesia to wallop the shit outta that guy if she wants to. She can't even call to tell him she had loved him coz calling is expensive.
And she has to see him with her everyday coz he is her neighbour. I wonder how it feels like to be this helpless. I think go crazy.
Feel much better after blogging this out. Perhaps u guys would like to know that blogging is my only form of self-confidence nowadays.
-My banqueting skills suck.
-My PR skills suck coz my classmates dun like me.
-More and more people tell me I am ugly and fat.
I am only good at blogging. I am gonna become a loner soon. Or perhaps this wave of melancholy will be gone after a few hours as I think I am having my PMS now.
-I suck big time-
What is it about height anyway? I dun see why that is a plus point at all. Sure, it helps u take stuff from high selves. Sure, the air u breathe is fresher. But as I have once said before, aesthetics is all about proportion, not height.
Perhaps u guys forgot the cavemen story on how height became an important factor for beauty nowadays. Maybe I shld reillustrate it?
Indeed, I shall. For those of u who read it before, please read it again coz obviously u didn�t get my point.
Once upon a time very very long ago, the earth was only populated by Cavepeople and perhaps some sabertooth tigers. The Cavepeople were divided into groups by their height, coz the taller ones are usually the stronger and more successful. The tall cavepeople are leaders because it is more possible for them to find food as they are the ones who can reach higher up the trees for fruits, and go deeper into the rivers to catch fish.
Not unexpectedly, they run faster too (longer legs, longer strides), thus they dun often get killed by the said sabertooth tigers.
The leaders of the pack, aka the Tall Cavepeople, decided one day that Tall is good, Tall is beautiful, Tall is everything nice.
Being tall cavemen, they wanted tall cavewomen too, so that the cavewomen dun look so stubbed (I dun think there is such a word, but heck.) standing beside them. Besides this, tall cavewomen cannot claim that they are too short to wash clothes in the river without being washed away. This point, the tall cavemen liked!
So they started to make Tall Cavebabies by only letting the Tallest Caveman and Tallest Cavewomen have sex. And boy did they have sex! They �oooh!� and �ahhh!� all day long in the day, mating and mating.
Slowly, the Short Cavepeople foresaw what is going to happen to them. You see, God was fair and mighty in those days, and he made the short cavepeople smarter instead of taller and stronger. The Short cavepeople knew that with more Tall Cavepeople, they would be kicked out of the gang to become outcasts pretty soon, and be bullied more.
The Short Cavepeople were totally against the idea of the fruit of Tallest Caveman and Tallest Cavewoman�s labour.
And they were short. So they can�t do much about it, except whine the whole day and give the Tallest Caveman and Tallest Cavewoman a kick whenever they passed by that eventful cave. Not that the Tallest Caveman and Tallest Cavewoman noticed of course.
The Average-height Cavepeople were pissed with all the pandemonium. In fact, they were pissed with almost everything. They were the only type of people God seems to be unfair to. God gave them half brains and half height.
In fact, the Average-height Cavepeople were so pissed with the constant moaning of the Tallest Caveman and Tallest Cavewoman, and the constant whining of the Short Cavepeople, that they can�t take it any longer. They took out a parang (a kinda knife their kind invented) and slaugthered the shit outta Tallest Caveman and Tallest Cavewoman.
It may be interesting to note that Tallest Cavewoman was killed exactly when she got her first orgasm, also marking the first pre-historic orgasm ever (She was 13 and stood at 1.87m) in the records of history. From then on people concluded that girls like excitements such as being threatened with a parang while having sex and therefore came bondage and sado-masochism.
Anyway, we can imagine the aftermath of the bloodshed. The tall cavepeople were very angry with the Average-height Cavepeople for the unreasonable killings of the Tallest of their kind. They decided they shall tolerate no more of such nonsense, and with a huff, they took the pre-historic heels they made for their then-still-not-that-tall cavewomen and left the place.
Without the Tall Cavepeople�s help to catch food, the rest suffered significant losses in their meals. Secretly the smart Short Cavepeople were inventing fishing rods and arrows and spears for easier gaming, and they once tried to teach the Average-height Cavepeople how to use those things, but they were just to dumb to learn.
Instead, the average-height Cavepeople decided that it was the Short Cavepeople�s fault for whining in the first place, and started to beat the Short Cavepeople up whenever they can. The Short Cavepeople, being kind-hearted fellows actually, started to decided it IS their fault that the Tallest Caveman and Tallest Cavewoman got killed.
With the beatings and the guilt, they could take it no more and migrated in an opposite direction to the Tall Cavepeople.
The Average height Cavepeople were in a loss. Now, they were lazy bastards and were very happy with the Short Cavepeople�s catches but now that both the Tall and Short were gone, they had no food.
So they secretly followed the Short Cavepeople, and stopped a few hundred of kilometres away from them, coz they discovered that their country has a few nice islands.
A few earthquakes which split the earth and a few billions years later, the Tall Cavepeople found themselves in Paris, and that�s why the supermodels all got �great height�. The phrase �looks like a model� was actually a shortened form of �Looks like a living model of the Tallest Cavewoman�.
The Short Cavepeople, now having evolved into wimpy people not willing to voice any opinions (and not to mention, short), were actually there before Sang Nila Utama came to our sunny island, called Singapore.
The barbaric Average-height Cavepeople, being stupid, can only watch from a distance the success of the Short community (of course they will succeed coz they are smart) with a very sore eye.
They, up to this day, still bully the Short community because the Short community is tolerant and good-natured. One day, we will reach up to our limits and fire all the �Average height� workers working in our country. We see how they will survive!
Alright! So now u know why height is seen as being important in our society. However, nobody stopped to think that ladders have render tree climbing useless.
Boats have rendered deep river fishing useless.
Cars have rendered escaping from wild animals useless, not to mention that the Sabertooth tiger is extinct.
So height has no use whatsoever nowadays. It is just and age-old tradition that tall is good. Yes, tall men look stronger, thus it is undeniable that they look better.
But tall women? There is no need to look strong at all for women. I personally think that long legs will get entangled in bed, so short women are better sex partners.
I shall make it clear. In my blog, any comment saying tall is good or shu nu is good or anything I once wrote is bad is good, shall be deleted without pity. My blog is an Anti height, anti shu nu blog so sod off.
Tall is good, but short is better. Now learn to say �Wow, she is so short!� in the same breath as �Wow, she is so tall!� and dun be one of those stupid people so influenced by society�s view. Afterall, short people tend to live longer. Look at those Japanese.
-I can hear u short people cheering-
Just some random pictures.
Thats Clara on the right... And the cutie on her left! It is her Chung Cheng classmate who later became an actor is The Unbeatables III! Cute huh?
Someone, I dun remember who, took a picture with my digicam coz it was the first time he/she saw it since I bought it in the hols. It accidentally features me playing with Aaron's new SL55 (Dun gasp, the 8910 is nicer ok.) and looking remarkably thin for totally NO PHOTOSHOP DONE. I think I shall start to wear black, although I dun like it coz it looks morbid and I am a happy happy person!
And Clara is actually pretty too. U can see that she has a cute dimple and a nice nose. Just between u and me, I shall tell u that she has big boobs too! For those of u idolising XF and June, perhaps u wud like a change of target.
Last but not least in the picture is Aaron's green eye. It looks damn scary, hahaha.. He seems to look pissed that I robbed him of his new phone.
I would like to mention the necklace. U see, I bought it some time ago, and everyone said it is ugly. Thats is because it writes Zhao Cai Jing Bao on it, exactly like the kind ur mum gets from the temple, except bigger. But I persisted in wearing it often.
AND IT WORKS! Did u know that Ritz Carlton kept asking me to work, Tiger Beer asked me to work, and the talent agency I worked for for Guinness asked me to work too! MONEY IS ROLLING IN! I am filthy rich again! Well alright not yet anyway. Soon.
Okie I am gonna skip school tml. I am a very bad student. Good night all!
Oh yeah I forgot to mention: For all of u who haven seen the FHM special coz it cannot be viewed, u can see it here. It wouldn't run outta bandwidth again, all thanks to Richard who mirrored it for me. It is exactly the same so if u saw it already there is no need to go again.
Thanks Richard!
And I urge everyone to take the poll to tell me if u are a guy or girl k k? It is just below the tagboard, and it is anonymous so just clicking wun do anything scary like popping pop-up ads to u. Or perhaps it does, i dunno.
But JUST DO THE POLL! I dun believe only 16 people and one amoeba read my blog!
I have just discovered the worst EVER way to argue with someone.
You see, once upon a time Eileen (Eileen who? Go see Character Intro, RV friends) had this ex boyfriend called Khai who had a pea-sized brain. Not only has he the brains of a caterpillar, he has the ego of Saturn's size. However, despite the obvious flaw in his intellect, he ALWAYS wins arguments with Eileen. Lets see how.
Eileen told me about this arguement she had with Khai.
-I forgot the exact arguement and so did Eileen so I shall just use another word to replace the argued word yeah?-
Eileen, to another friend when she was in a cab with Khai: "Yadda yadda yadda divorce yadda yadda"
Khai: "Divorce should be pronounced de-vorce and not die-vorce!" (Divorce is not the exact argued word.)
Eileen: "No what, it shld be pronounced die-vorce what, I'm quite sure about that."
Khai: "Pronounce it anyway u like, but I know I am correct coz Americans pronounce it that way."
Eileen: "But the British pronounce it my way."
Khai: "We shld follow the Americans."
Eileen: "Obviously we shld follow British coz our English follows their system in Singapore! Duh!"
Khai, knowing he lost the arguement: "Hiyah, De-vorce, die-vorce, WHO CARES?"
Eileen: "Yeah right if u dun care about it then in the first place why did u correct me?"
Khai: "WHO CARES?"
LOL.. So freaking irritating right. I suggest u start to do that to people u dislike alot. It is powerful, this who cares thingy. It not only lowers ur opponent by saying u dun give a shit about his opinions, it also gives u the final word in the arguement by saying that ur opponent may be correct, but u just dun think he is worth ur time arguing. And giving the last word in an arguement is a good cheap thrill to have.
So to people who dun like me:
Antixiaxue: U are freaking ugly and fat.
Me: Yeah okie I am. Who cares!
Lovejune: June is much more shu nu than u and prettier than you.
Me: Yeah okie. Who cares if she is?
To make the opponent EVEN more irritated, u can add a SO?
Eg:
Antixiaxue: You are freaking ugly and fat.
Me: So?
Antixiaxue: So u are wrong thinking u are pretty.
Me: So?
Antixiaxue: So u are a bitch, so so so!
Me: So?
Antixiaxue: Oh shut up~! Dun u have anything else better to argue?
Me: WHO CARES?
Finally, theres also one more method u can use that irritates the shit outta people. The word "Jealous". When u say someone is jealous, u are maligning the person without proof (who all know how terrible it feels to be accused.) and also, at the same time, praising urself. Ain't that great? Once again, it can be paired up with "who cares?", and I suggest to make the person damn angry u act irrelevant as well.
EG:
Antixiaxue: U are freaking ugly and fat.
Me: u jealous izzit.
Antixiaxue: I jealous of what, u amoeba-sized brain and ur fat thighs?
Me: Everyone knows u are jealous coz I am pretty and smart.
Antixiaxue: No u are not, u are damn stupid and ugly.
Me: Jealous jealous jealous! Admit it lar!
Antixiaxue: Urgh! Shut up lar! I am not jealous! Prove that u are worthy of my being jealous first.
Me: U are just plain jealous!
Antixiaxue: U are really arrogant, disgusting, fat and ugly. U shld go and die!
Me: Who cares?
See, it is foolproof. Try it on dumb people today. They all shldn't exist anyway, so lets torture them outta their existance.
P/s: Thanks to everyone who give nice comments in the previous blog, and to June: I am not upset anymore after I typed out my frustrations so dun u feel guilty or anything lidat okie? *muacks* Read The Full Article
I am in a bad mood. I shall scold the next person who tells me June is pretty on MY blog. I am jealous, yes. Afterall, this is MY blog so give me a break will you? Dun tell me u come here just to see her pictures. Dun tell me u are not here for my writing. If so, please sod off, I dun need lusty pigs reading my blog.
I am feeling doubtful about the blog again. I know u guys gave me lots of generous encouragements, but I am really easily shaken. U say, I once commented to a friend that I think more females than males read my blog and asked him for an explanation.
He commented that I bitch alot thus girls will come read it. "Then what about guys?" I asked. Afterall there is a fair amount of the said gender too. He replied confidently, "Hiyah, u ask some chio bu to write anything people will read one lar."
I was deeply appalled despite the praise. Are there really such superficial guys around? Then what if the guys all read my blog coz they are hoping everyday to see a picture of June or XF?
Thats pretty disgusting. Please direct ur lust to http://juneisthebest.blogspot.com. I just set up the blog for u all. Dun come spray ur half transparent semen all over here, after this is MY blog, and ALL MINE! THE ONLY ADMIRERS ALLOWED HERE ARE MINE!
In here, u are allowed to comment stuff like, "June looks quite pretty in that picture", BUT NO WORSHIPPING! NO LICKING THE GROUND SHE STANDS ON! Thats about all I can tolerate. Afterall June is already happily attached to a man (boy i mean) she wants to marry and has been with for 3 years (make it 5 so it sounds more dramatic), so u dun STAND A CHANCE AT ALL.
And also, can u explain what u like about her? DO U EVEN KNOW HER? She may be a transvestite, for all u know. U see a few pictures, and a few comments (which are rare nowadays since her com spoilt) and u claim u are deeply in love. Newflash: She doesn't give a shit about you coz u are just one of those common horny bastards. And surprise surprise! She is not a shu nu!
You are as deep as a piece of this:
I am, on the other hand, perfect and single. But people who once liked June has no chance with me too, coz I dun like being second choice when obviously u didn't notice on first sight that I am a pure goddess.
Obviously I would get hate mail for this entry, once again. People saying I am selfish, jealous etc etc. Yup, I am. So what? Who cares? You still love my blog anyway.
Heres June's photo once again, just to piss u off by telling u u can't get her.
Oh, so cute! If only u could touch her! But no! U can't! Coz she is my lesbian partner and no one else can have her!
If u disagree with anything I say, u are only deluded. Everyone else loves me.
