Fucking shit.
The day has come!
Read this:
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Holy shit! Now what do I do? I think I shall set up another imagestation account and do the same time till they manage to find out.
Tata... Lotsa work to do. Anyone linking my pictures please remove the links k?
Thats right! Today I went to a place u possibly would not be able to go into for the rest of your life. Unless u work for the President of course. Thats the ISTANA!
So exciting right, Ritz Carlton had an Outdoor catering event at the above mentioned location and I begged and begged my manager to let me go there and he agreed! Actually it is not as beautiful as I thought it would be, but heck it, it is grand enough. Crystal chandeliers (did I spell this correct?) everywhere with white lights and high high ceilings. Exactly like what they show u in the movies.
U see, I love u guys. So I happily brought my camera into the Istana with me, hoping to possibly take a photo with Nathan and get his autograph or something, and show u all. Thoughtful ain't I? Nah, the security guard didn't think so. I hardly thinks he reads my blog.
We had to pass some metal detector so he asked me to take out every metal item and show him. I took out two hp pouchs and an 8310. He looked shocked and asked, "Woah, u got 3 phones ah! What is inside this two?"
I replied that I got two phones and one is a camera.
He frowned very hard and said that photo taking is not allowed in the Istana.
I told him that I wun take photos.
"Then u take camera here for what?"
Very good question. Got me stuck for a second.
"Oh, coz I dun have a locker at Ritz and I'm scared that people might steal my camera." I smiled sweetly. "I promise I wun take any pictures!"
He frowned again. "Oh okie okie lar. But dun take photo, or we will confiscate it."
$430 to be confiscated? No way! So no photos of humans except snapshots of boring buildings.
I walked through the metal detector again and it sounded. "Any metal objects on you?", the guard asked.
I showed him my belly ring. He looked like he thought it is very painful.
He thought mine was painful. Next in line was my Malay colleague with two lip piercings and a tongue piercing.
*****
This is a picture of the corridor of the ballroom. Actually, it is a badly taken photo coz it doesn't show anything particularly interesting and it is blur. So why I am a posting the picture?
BECAUSE IT IS ARTISTIC! It looks totally like one of those photo self-proclaimed photographers would claim as "an award winning artistic abstract photo". Hor hor u agree with me??!! I hate these self-proclaimed photographers. They keep taking bo liao blurry badly taken photos portraying nothing in particular and claim it looks damn nice.
I just think they waste my time. Usually, these kinda photos are displayed at the Esplanade or something with names like "Sunshine down my life" when the photo portrays an empty road with a ray of sunlight on it. Ahhhhh...Artistically enlightening, u say. Bullshit! I shall call my this bad photo "Iridescence across corridors" and thus give myself a convenience excuse for taking a badly taken photo.
Eg u say: "oei ur this photo is not interesting and blur leh!"
"It is artistic okie! U dunno one lar!"
"Where got artistic, stupid photo leh."
"U see, it is called Iridescence across Corridors for a reason! The lights symbolise the people who gave me hope when I was weak, and the 4 lights show my mum, my dad, my brother and my best friend.
The corridors leads down to a dark alley, symbolising that u will never know what is going to happen in life. And Corridors! Living life is like walking down a corridor, fill of turns and twists, and also u think u are alone, but u are not, as the Iridescence of the lights will always be with you. Artistic right?"
"Oh my god please excuse me while I concentrate on feeling my enlightenment. U are so god damn artistic!"
See? I just took an inspirational photo today.
Anyway, the main course set dinner (western) was COD FISH! THATS LIKE MY ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE FISH! While I was working I was drooling all over the food... And then Nathan wanted to talk or something and we had to stop service. So me and PY went to the kitchen. Guess what we found in the food heater.
It may look pretty revolting here but it IS VERY NICE! IT IS ORGASMIC! Totally yummy! We stole the extra leftover Cod fish from the kitchen and took 2 pieces each to go to the toilet to eat our fill.
Thats me having an orgasm.
It was a pity that there was no sauce though, as it was in a separate dish and we had to be quick in stealing. Later, when PY and I went out of the toilet looking suspiciously fat and contented, we got rather pissed off.
There we were stuffing ourselves in the toilet fast, and there the rest of the staff were, eating the full set (complete with creamy sauce, asparagus and other whatevers) ON THE TABLE, officially allowed by the managers. Haiz.. Nvm, we had our fill.
Thats is about Istana, nothing much interesting, except that the PY managed to get chummy with the security guard of Nathan or something and he said that Nathan's favourtie song is Bangawan solo. LOLz... I dunno whether that is true, but if it is, I find it very funny.
And yes, Nathan is very short.
*****
Guess what came in the mail today. You are right! It is something that will not interest you! But I still feel like posting the picture up.
It is the silver casing lar, not the whole PDA. Now my palmtop looks so much better without the old black casing! I am so glad! I bought the casing at $8 from Axegal (who reads my blog!) at yahoo auctions. Wonderful. Come tomorrow, I will do project with my classmates, and I will buy my Gucci wallet (fake one lar) from another Yahoo auctions seller together with June.
I am so happy happy happy!
-To get into my good books, guys, treat me to some good cod fish.-
Yesterday the person who was in charge of the Hennessy job called me up to ask me to work today. I asked her what kinda place I had to go to. She said a KTV pub. I said, Hmmm, okie. She asked me to find another person to work with me, and Xf, upon hearing the pay, said she would like to give it a try.
The pay is 80 bucks for 3 hours.
Anyway I would like to explain some stuff. I am not a slut. I once worked for Tiger Beer and Guinness as their promoters and both were totally decent jobs. No touching by the guests. Just strictly beer pouring. So yeah I thought Hennessy was the same.
1 hour before I went to the KTV pub I asked the girl in charge whether the KTV has "girls" inside. She said "Yeah, why?"
Sleaze!
Xf was horrified. She refused to go to the pub initially. I told her we could leave if we wanted to, and she said that they would force us to stay inside. Well anyway I forgot to bring a black skirt for her and she had to wear her jeans to work.
And we arrived at the scary place.
It is not as bad as I thought actually. The guests were fine; they didn't try to molest us or anything but seemed to treat us like little girls instead. After half an hour of not really doing anything except pour some liquer, the manager called me up.
Turned out that the stupid supervisor of the pub told her that one of us (XF) wore jeans and slippers, and we did not do the job properly but slacked around. The second part is totally not true! In fact, within half an hour we sold 3 bottles of VSOP (betcha didn't know it means Very Superior Old Pale) each costing $250!
But anyway WE GOT SACKED! He told us we can leave! I am damn insulted. Here I am, wondering whether I, being afterall a person with slightly above average intelligence, shld lower myself to work such a sleazy job, and HE FIRED ME! THE NERVE! Can he find someone prettier than XF?? How dare he fire us! An undergrad working for him! Gosh...
So after half an hour of doing absolutely nothing much, we left the place and asked Ghimz the Giam to join us for some Mac and went home.
Upon reaching home, I was thinking: "Holy shit! I earned 25 bucks just like that (they paying us for one hour of work)! Thats equivalent to working at the Ritz from 6 till 11, which is much much more tiring. Here flick hair a bit can earn money so easily... Hmmm..."
Anyway I explained stuff to my manager so I think she would still ask me to work, but perhaps for a different outlet or something. Shld I continue? If the job scope only consists of pouring Hennessy and promoting it for 3 hours and I will not get touched, is it job to be ashamed off? But the pay is so good. Gimme some opinions.
I once received an email by someone placing a cam inside a KTV pub and publishing the pictures. It looks utimately terrible! The room had naked women doing blows for the men, and lusty old men playing with the hostresses' nipples while they sing, or hostresses doing handjobs. Very scandalous indeed.
However, nothing of that interesting sort happened at all. Perhaps it was a more decent pub. The worst thing I shall was a "Girl" sitting on a man's lap facing him, ala sex position.
Haiz... I want my T500...
If I dun work this job I can't buy it, and I would feel very pissed indeed.
Oh yeah I joined the Get spotted contest from Starhub, and sent a photoshopped picture into it! But my pic will not be up till a few days later, and u all muz vote for me k k? Must ah! Meanwhile, please sign up and vote every other person a ONE STAR coz they all look quite ugly, in my opinion.
Oh yeah I am aware this entry is neither funny nor interesting, but forgive me, I am tired. I also did up the FAQ page so can check it out.
Oh man I have a headache, gonna sleep now...
I'm feeling much better now! The tonsil might have swelled until it became so big it dropped off, so now my stomach is possibly digesting it. Thats good. Tonsils are useless anyway.
In case u dunno what a tonsil is, it is a cross between a tongue and a stepsil.
Yesterday I had work at New Park Hotel, and goodness knows why, that particular family had ALOT of kids. I hate kids at banquets. Ok I pretty much hate kids. Oh, I'm not that unkind. Who doesn't love babies? I love babies. They smell so nice (is it some water bag or vagina smell? Sometimes I wonder.) and I think they are absolutely cute.
But I hate the babies once they learn to talk. In my opinion, kids shld always keep quiet. Kids nowadays are too darn rude.
Thats why I only had ONE tuitioning experience:
Mum: This is Wendy jie jie, ur new tutor. Ok Wendy u teach him his spelling first, then help him with some Hw and make him do some assessments ok?
Me: Okie.
Smelly 9 yr old boy, when mum is gone: Hello Wendy!
Me: Oei, u are supposed to call me Wendy Jie Jie.
Smelly 9 yr old boy: I show u my pokemon toy?
Me: No, no, learn ur spelling!
Smelly 9 yr old boy: Why shld I listen to u? U are not my mother.
Me: *gasp* But ur mother ask u to learn what.
Smelly 9 yr old boy: But u also never learn, why must I learn it?
Me: Thats irrelevant! It is your spelling, so YOU shld learn it, not me!
Smelly 9 yr old boy: Hiyah. I show u my pokemon toy?
Actually the above didn't happen but my tolerance level is lower than that. I have heard much worse from my friends. Goodness knows why they subject themselves to such torture. Hey, personally I would rather pour tea and carry heavy platters and subject myself to tremendous ridiculous requests from guests.
Kids nowadays. Whenever they ask u "why" and challenge u that they will not do something when u ask them to, U SHOW THEM WHO IS BOSS. God made adults bigger sized than kids not so that kids will look cute, but because adults are meant to bully kids. Give the smelly kid (I'm talking about those above 6 yrs old) a whack on the head with a giant pikachu toy and he will know better than to challenge u in future.
*****
EG, tuition scenerio:
Smelly 9 yr old boy: Why shld I listen to u? U are not my mother.
Me: *Whack head with a giant Pikachu toy* Roars: BECAUSE I SAY SO! NOW DO IT!
Smelly 9 yr old boy: Oh, u beat me! I am going to tell my mummy! Boohoohoo!
Me: Shut up! U DESERVED THAT WHACKING! *Whacks one more time* U go tell lar, u think I scared ah. At most I lose this job. U think I wan to teach u meh? But now *steals a glance at cover of textbook*, I know ur class and school, and if u tell ur mum, I will TELL ALL UR CLASSMATES THAT U HAVE A PINK POWERPUFF GIRL STUFF TOY AT HOME! Muahahahhaha!
Smelly 9 yr old boy: *hugs the said stuff toy tighter and whimpers painfully* Okie okie I do my homework, Wendy jie jie.
Me: U are to say I am pretty RIGHT NOW!
Smelly 9 yr old boy: Wendy jie jie u are very pretty *whimpers more*.
Me: Not that I care about ur opinion of course.
Kids will behave better if everyone has an evil heart like mine.
*****
Anyway, yesterday when I was opening the door for the bride and groom to make their grand entrance, this male colleague of mine suddenly asked me: Hey, u have a website izzit?
I was damn freaked out.
Despite my very shocked face, he continued to ask: "Hey, that Indian guy really smoke on the MRT ah?"
Ah well. It doesn't seem like that much people have read the site before (statistics from the webcounter), since I have always assumed that my readers come back regularly. But of course, I forgot that there might have been alot of people only seeing it ONCE to see what the big deal is.
So yeah, since there are so many peole reading this, I shall do up an FAQ page. Will be done soon.
I recently got to know this love scandal happening at my work place. It is quite interesting so I shall say it, but names have been changed to protect the innocent and the guilty.
Keith (thats one of my favourite names coz I like names with TH in it.) is the banquet manager. Scrunchie (I have a fetish for scrunchies. I keep buying ang buying scrunchies so I have like 15 now. And I just decided that I like it as a name. Doesn't it look so cute?) is Keith's gf, and is one of the banquet waitresses. In fact, Keith and Scrunchie have been together for 8 months now, but Keith doesn't want anyone in the workplace to know, coz it will make things awkward for the rest of the Banquet staff.
So anyway, theres this other girl called Monica who likes Keith. Monica does not know that Keith is attached to Scrunchie, so she is like mad over him. On the other hand, Monica self-proclaimed that she is Scrunchie's very good friend, so she regularly calls to tell Scrunchie about how much she loves Keith.
Scrunchie is very unwilling to hear Monica bitch about how Keith was so nice to her today, how she thinks Keith might be in love with her etc, but yet, she is too curious to hear from Monica's point of view what Keith has been doing to Monica behind her back. And also, the author personally feels that Scrunchie is too nice a person to smack Monica and tell her to fuck off. Failing that, Scrunchie could say "So? Who cares?" to Monica like I have taught u guys to, but Scrunchie doesn't read my blog.
Keith does not know that Monica calls Scrunchie to tell her stuff. Poor Keith? No. He deserves it. Men. *rolls eyes*
Heres the climax of the story.
One fine day, Monica asked Keith to go clubbing with her. Keith told her he is not free as he was out drinking with other friends. So Monica got pissed drunk (I personally feel that she PRETENDED to be pissed drunk), and called Keith up.
Monica asked Keith to come to look for her as she is not feeling well. Keith, having just finished drinking with his friends, agreed.
OH FUCK IT! I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT MONICA IS ATTACHED! Okie keep that in mind now. She could have asked her bf to come fetch her, but no! She had to ask Keith. Slut. Oops, I forgot to be objective. I am on Scrunchie's side afterall.
Keith told Monica he will send her home in a cab, but Monica claimed that her mum will get angry with her if she goes home so pissed drunk. (Well thats her own business. If she knows her mum will get angry, DUN DRINK!) But despite the apparent flaw in that statement, Keith decided that sending her home is not an option.
Monica suggested to go to Keith's place (we all know her motive, dun we?). Keith's family knows Scrunchie and loved her, so Keith's family will personally slaughter him if he brings some drunk girl home. So Keith told her that is not an option as well.
I personally would have left Monica in the streets but Keith (men. *rolls eyes*) suggested booking a hotel room.
The next morning, Keith told Scrunchie that he and Monica stayed over at a hotel room togther and they did not do anything.
A few hours later came Monica's call to Scrunchie too, and Monica told Scrunchie that she and Keith did heavy patting and stopped short of sex coz Monica felt she was not ready. (what about her bf?!)
Poor Scrunchie. Naturally she confronted Keith and Keith admitted to his crimes and apologized profusely saying that he was pissed drunk as well. Convenient excuse. Get urself pissed drunk and u can rape little 5 yr old girls as well and escape scot free.
Can u believe Scrunchie actually forgived Keith? And also, Keith, till this day, did not tell Monica that he is attached, so Monica is still flirting with him outrageously during work hours, making Scrunchie a very upset person.
Goodness knows why Scrunchie is still with Keith. Scrunchie is entering uni soon, and Keith possibly cannot string a bundle of words into an English sentence. He is my banquet manager and a very nice person, but haiz... Compatibility is another thing. Of course, it is not up to me to judge whether Scrunchie shld be with Keith or not in the first place, but after this incident, there is NO WAY i would forgive Keith if I am Scrunchie.
Or would u, if u were her?
Am sick. Think I'm running a fever. I shall go sleep right, and try to blog tml. No one is allowed to ask me to take care. If u intended to ask me to take care, say I'm pretty instead and I will feel much better.
I shall skip school.
Dammit, I got alot to write but Ow, that swollen tonsil. I wanna cut it off.
tata!
Oh my god oh my god. I am really really touched by all the comments u guys left after the latest entry. U people are really the best, seriously speaking. *tears* And anyway, I would just like to admit that the previous entry was simply one caused by PMS (I really got my period around 4 hours after I wrote that entry), so I am feeling much better. Thats right, women and mood swings, heehee...
Just now something very terrible happened. I got home after a job interview (which I succeeded) as a mobile phone promoter (some new brand) and I rushed into the bathroom to bathe happily. Stripped down to nothing and sat on the toilet seat while replying XF's sms (yes I bring my phones into the toilet). As I was clicking away, something brown and nervous flew straight towards me, seemingly attracted to my belly ring area.
A giant moth, spanning 4 cm in length I'm sure, if it spread its wings properly. It flew towards my naked body at 80 km/hr and while I was paralysed with disgust, landed "turp, flutter, flutter" on my stomach and bounced off to my thighs.
I sent a silent prayer to whoever up there that it didn't land on my boobs.
From my thighs, it proceeded to act as if it was very scared of the actions of me doing a combination of shrieking, screaming my head off and flinging my hands everywhere. How could that stupid thing be scared? He knows jolly well that teenage Singaporean females will not dare to kill it. It is HAVING GREAT FUN! It happily flew everywhere near me (around the face area) while my mum, maid and brother shouted and asked me what is wrong. No doubt they thought I had gone mad.
And it knew that it can happily fulfil its voyeurism coz it will take some time for me to wrap myself in a towel, wipe my a** (sorry for the explicit details), flush the toilet, and then open the bathroom door for rescuers to come in.
Singaporean girls might not kill it, but Indonesian women have no pity. My maid stepped into the bathroom, took some toilet paper, and smashed the powdery cretin to the last of its lusty life.
I continued with my shower thinking how, if that little piece of *toot* was still alive, I would torture it. I would put it a little plastic box. I would shake it like it was a pepper shaker. I would pull its feelers out one by one, followed by legs. I will dangle a female moth (I'm sure the one who attacked me is male) in front of it and not allow it to mate. I would then put the moth into the microwave and turn the heat to "low" and let it scald. Slowly. As if that is not enough, just when it is almost too hot for it to survive, i will take it outta the microwave.
It thinks that finally it is getting cooler. I WOULD GIVE IT COOLER! I will put into pieces of ice cubes to freeze it to death. And finally when the ice cubes melt and it thinks that it is finally not so cold, it would DROWN!!! BWAHAHAHAHHAHA! *Evil laughter*
It was a traumatizing bath I had.
Anyway, after what seems like an extremely long time, I finally had a good hair day! In actual fact, my hair looked like utter shit in the morning. Feeling pissed, I took out one of those rollers u thought only aunties use and put them on. Ah! After 3 hours, those stupid dead cells had no choice but to curl up nicely.
I looked at the awesome hair in excitement, and did something very stupid.
U see, the problem with my hair is that it is like a gremlin. It simply cannot touch water or horrible lumps will start popping up and destroying the world.
I forgot this little fact and in a desperate attempt to try to freeze the curls into position for the rest of the day, sprayed gel all over it.
And the gel boosted its high water content proudly while my curls disintergratd into hair Hermione Granger would be ashamed of.
But! I managed to take a photo b4 it went too bad.
Something must be done to the hair. I am thinking of dyeing it blonde.
I'm sick of my curls being so ugly most of the time nowadays. I wanna go rebonding it and cut it into something moe stylish. Say, Landy (wen lan)'s hair? I'm worried about the fringe part though. Here it is, jet black hair w/o fringe.
Here it is with fringe:
please try to ignore that the neck is a different colour.
I am aware it looks relatively ugly. But I'm quite sure I will straighten it, and put a single white (or pink, I haven't decided which) streak in the fringe like Landy did. I feel like spending money on hair.
If not on hair, then where else shld I spend my immerse fortune on?
You see, the zhao cai jin bao necklace really works. Eileen called me up to ask me to work as a pair with her to promote Hennessy, which is paying 80 bucks for 3 hours of work.
That pretty good money! If I work for 3 days a week I would get 960 bucks a month, holy shit!
I feel filthy rich already.
It will be time to buy an mp3 player. Take a look at my discman, so terribly injured.
Can u beliece this piece of antique was a gift from mum for good PSLE results?!
I already have too many gadgets I bring out everyday (palm, camera, two phones),so I decided I shall purchase the Nokia mp3 player so that at least it looks like it comes with the phone (if only)
Hurray, so exciting! And to everyone who gave me encouragements all this while, thank u again for being there when I was so down!
Btw, I feel like setting up #xiaxue in irc so that I can talk to my readers leh. Is it too bhb? Will u all support? If yes just go into the channel tml night k k?
Oh yeah please do gimme comments on the hair k ?
-A mega hug for everyone-
The day before, I was busy being upset with XF being VIP server instead of me. Yesterday, I was upset because PY told me that XF confided in her that she felt, although I am a good friend of hers, I never seem to be able to feel happy for anything good that happens to her.
Thats not true. I felt sincerely glad for her when she got into the Uni course she wants. Its just that.. never mind already. I wonder how we are supposed to feel glad for others when we ourselves are down?
If u failed ur O levels, would u feel happy for a friend who got 9 A1s? Some people can sincerely do that. Perhaps their heart is split into two parts and while one part is bleeding with the own failure, the other part is feeling sincerely happy. So does the face register a frown or a smile? It is impossible for the two to go together.
Perhaps my heart is one whole big lump then. When I fail and someone I cared about succeeds with the exact same results i would like to get in the same test, I would be too busy brooding over my own failure and can't bring myself to rejoice even about scientists inventing a medicine which can eliminate pimples from the face of this earth.
I wonder what to say to XF. Congratulations for being promoted? Ah well, I can be polite all I want, but it is hypocritical. I tried, I really did. The excitement I put on when I told her rang phoney in my ears.
I have worked for a much longer time. I have much more experience. I AM THE ONE WHO ANNOUNCED BEFORE THAT I WANTED TO BE THE VIP SERVER while XF and PY commented that it is no big deal being it and they can't be bothered with such minor issues. It is thoroughly embarrassing to me. Utterly humiliating.
I know XF would give up the position to me to make me feel happier. Yet, I can't seem to even bother to hide feeling upset to let her feel glad about something which I shld be proud of her about. I am the world's suckiest friend ever.
I didn't hide my feelings, coz I thought if I had to hide my feelings to even my best friend, who else can I speak the truth to?
4 out of the 8 paragraphs I wrote starts with "I". Thats right, I'm a self-centred bitch.
Of course, I shldn't speak my true feelings to XF coz it will make her feel upset. I am just too DARN selfish to realise that.
My conscience is shouting to me: "What do u expect XF to do about this, huh? It is not her fault that she got promoted! It is ur own fault for slacking at work. So u want Ritz Carlton to promote u and watch u steal food from the bridal table? U want XF to get all upset and maybe even guilty for causing ur unreasonable anger when she shld rightfully be glad of her accomplishments because she totally deserved it?"
I whimpered painfully at the thoughts. I am being pulled both ways. This sucks. No one shld be the VIP server so no friendship gets hurt over such trivial stuff.
No, thats not what it shld be. I would rather the VIP server be XF than some other lousy waitress. And it is my own problem that I got upset. No one else would be. PY isn't upset. Cloudy ain't upset. The world is still spinning and I can jolly well accept the fact and stop making XF feel so dilemmic, if there is such a word.
So, thats it XF. I got over it already. U are better at some, I am better at some. It is just that it happened that I thought I was better at banqueting than u, and I am wrong. Well, sod it. Who cares about banqueting. I rule at blog writing, but thats the only thing I feel I am good at nowadays.
My self-confidence is at an ALL TIME LOW. I hope u stupid bastards who insensitively keep praising June and XF and insulting me can stop it coz I am close to tears already. I am not threatening. This is the truth.
Perhaps what I am feeling is just so trivial. My maid pulled me close just now, and confided to me that the man she loves back in Indonesia has married another woman, and the woman is pregnant. She non-chalently continued to cut up the carrot to cook for my dinner while I remained silent and siad nothing for a long while.
My troubles are so small compared to hers. I can work harder at Ritz and be promoted in a jiffy and stop being so sullen and sour. Self confidence can be regained about looks, if I just go to some club and sit around. Guys would come and tell me I am beautiful. I might have to choose to neglect the fact that they only want to get into my pants of course.
But my maid? She can't even go back to Indonesia to wallop the shit outta that guy if she wants to. She can't even call to tell him she had loved him coz calling is expensive.
And she has to see him with her everyday coz he is her neighbour. I wonder how it feels like to be this helpless. I think go crazy.
Feel much better after blogging this out. Perhaps u guys would like to know that blogging is my only form of self-confidence nowadays.
-My banqueting skills suck.
-My PR skills suck coz my classmates dun like me.
-More and more people tell me I am ugly and fat.
I am only good at blogging. I am gonna become a loner soon. Or perhaps this wave of melancholy will be gone after a few hours as I think I am having my PMS now.
-I suck big time-
