Yesterday I didn't blog, so I have alot of stuff to write.
Firstly, yesterday I worked for Tiger Beer again after a break of 1 year, and it is really the best job in the world! All we had to do yesterday was to pour beer for a relatively decent pub's guests as it was the pub's first day of opening and only the boss' friends were invited.
We (me and another Tiger girl) arrived late at 6:40 (supposed to be 6pm, but the manager is not there and nobody cares) and we were allowed to eat dinner till 7pm. We walked around and poured beer and the owner of the pub even asked us if we wanted to sing KTV. Later on, at 9 pm, we were asked to help ourselves to the buffet line, and then our manager came. He walked into the room where we were eating. I clammed up, seeing that he caught us skiving.
He smiled and asked us if the chicken is nice.
And he pulled a chair and joined us. And there we sat for the next 40 minutes talking rubbish, after which the other girl, Tess, and I were allowed to leave the place $60 richer.
Just when we were gleefully walking out with our bags, the owner of the newly opened pub stopped us. He opened his wallet, and said, "Come, uncle give u tips, thanks for helping me out today!"
So we walked out $70 richer.
Haiz, what a happy day.
Aha, but there's a catch! There always is, isn't it?
I was damn pissed by this group of guests. According to Tess, there were a bunch of footballers, so natually it was a mix of Malay, Indian and Chinese guys, less of the latter.
This is the conversation that happened:
Indian guy: Hi!
Me: Eh, hello.
Indian guy: U not a local right?
Me: I am a Singaporean.
Indian guy: Dun bluff!
Me: Huh? Siao I bluff u for what? So which country do I look like I am from? *Gives an irritated frown*
Indian guy: No no I not saying you look like u from China... no la...
Me: Yeah I look like a Malaysian issit?
Indian guy: Haha... So u working at coffee shops normally issit? I only see u girls in coffee shops.
-At this precise moment I felt like sticking something huge, hot and with thorns into his ass. The ideal item would be a barbacued porcupine. In fact, I wanted so much to put the porcupine into his ass that I tried looking around for one, but with no avail. I think they should put porcupines at newly opened pubs in case stupid men start to insult the waitresses.-
Me: Excuse me? One, this is not a full time job. Two, only aunties work at coffee shops, I'm sure u haven been to enough pubs or hotel lounges to see us around, but it doesn't mean we dun exist at those places.
Indian: Oh, not full time job? So u got another job?
Me: No, I'm currently studying.
Indian guy: Oh, ITE or Poly?
At this precise moment I turned my back ready to not answer his question and leave. I cannot believe my eyes!
There, scurrying in one hidden corner of the pub behind a potted plant was a black creature trying to move unnoticed. It shook a little and left a trail of black sharp needles on the floor. Suddenly, a dozen goblins hopped out of the potted plant and captured the terrified, and not to mention shocked, hedgehog. A barbecue pit appeared out of nowhere and they roasted the hedgehog will it was white hot and stuffed it into the Indian guy's ass. He yapped and yapped in pain, strangely shouting out the words: "Sorry.. I... Pain!..I... not... Oww!..look...down...people...anymore!
No, that didn't happen. It was just a mirage, sadly.
As I returned to the normal world, I realised he was still talking to me.
"Poly ah, so smart ah, cannot believe it."
-Someone hand me a chainsaw please-
"What course?"
Breathing hard, "Media and communications."
"What is that?"
"Listen. I got to go serve our customers."
WTF IS WRONG WITH THAT GUY! I think I will bring my O level cert everywhere I go, and I will use it to SLAP HIS BLOODY FACE. POLY too SMART for me huh? I CAN GO INTO JC OKIE! Fucked up idiot. Why did he not ask me "JC, uni, poly or ITE?". If I went into JC, I will use my ankle sock to stuff up his hairy nostril. But I chose Poly.
And u think this fella is bad. Birds of the same feathers flock together, so lets hear about his friend.
Indian guy: Hey Wendy Wendy! My friend wants to talk to u!
Malay guy: So Wendy, I heard from him u from Poly.
Indian guy: Yeah Wendy he dun believe u are from Poly!
Me: What.
Malay guy: You from Poly meh? *Gave me a disbelieving look* I also from SP last time. Let me test you, you what faculty.
(Apparently the fucked up guy was not from SP as SP does not have faculties but different "schools", ie, School of Business, which I am in.)
I thought:What is the big fuck about SP? Who would lie to say they are in a Poly, asshole? Only idiots like you think it is glamourous to be in poly. Hey look, here my O levels cert and it reads 11 points. Can u count? It means I can go into JC easily, asshole!
I said: What do u mean what faculty. There are no faculties in SP, duh.
Malay guy: Oh, so you what course?
I thought:You so fucking dumb, I tell u u also dunno.
I said: Media and comm.
Malay guy: What is that?
I thought: Dah, I knew it.
I said: A course.
Malay guy: U also from SP ah, so next time when u graduate u can join the alumni and see me there!
I thought:Nobody is interested to see your fucked up face and I dun talk to amoeba-brains, so speak to my hand.
I said: I am not interested to join SP's alumni.
Malay guy: Why not, you should be very glad that SP accepted you and gave u a good education.
With this I turned my heel and left him talking to himself.
FUCKING HELL! I got so pissed that I almost smoked (as in, on flames) right there, but I can't scold him, as my job was far too valuable to risk losing.
What is the big fuck about Poly? They speak as if it is some Mensa organisation. Either that or I look extremely retarded, so it is amazing that I can get into Poly.
I got so pissed, that I spend 15 minutes thinking how I would use my old RV school uniform and throw it at his face.
"Nah," I would say. "Here is my old school uniform. PSLE grades of 251 and above will be accepted into the school, can your daughter fit into the uniform since u look like u can hardly afford a new one for her? Or did she get your genes and is a half retard? Oh wait, my secondary school is the Fifth in ranking in Singapore this year, and they dun accept Malays, sorry! Oh wait a minute. I am not sorry."
Mean huh? But I really had enough of such retards.
People nowadays keep giving me that raised eyebrows look whenever I say I am in Poly. WTF! Do I really look like a school drop out? And whats worse is that it is not as if my results barely fulfilled Sp's criteria and I heng heng got in after struggling with my pudding brains. It is irritating the shit outta me.
People gimme the raised eyebrows look when I say I am in Poly, and they give XF and PY the "I am so impressed with you!" look when XF and PY say they are going to uni. Hey, whats the discrimination here! I am going into Uni soon too, and I will wipe the smirk off those people's faces.
*****
Enough about angry events. Anyway, today June, Clara and I went to shop around at Orchard, when I suddenly received a phone called from eLJay (one blog reader) saying that he saw me. LOLz... It is beginning to scare me! I think I shall wear sunglasses out next time.
While June and I were walking around, a very normal and typical thing happened.
You see, I'm a kpo person. Actually, I'm not kpo. I'm just very curious. So usually when June and I walk along the Orchard underpass stretch, some people will suddenly approach June and start yakking.
Being my curious self, I will bend over to listen too, rather irritated coz I'm the kinda person who is talking most of the time while June makes little grunting noises of agreement, and these stupid people usually interrupt me talking.
Not only do they interrupt me, they dun know that they are causing grave harm. This is cause I tend to forget what I was saying immediately and June will have the mission of remembering what I just said, which she will fail to do, and I will be very miserable coz I forgot what I wanted to say.
Now the interrupting people I am talking about are very rude. Even after I bend over to listen, they refuse to acknowledge my presence and start to speak to BOTH June and I. Thats the correct way mah hor? BUT NO! They choose to focus their beady desperate eyes on June and only speak to her, making me feel extremely embarrassed to try to listen to someone who is not interested to talk to me.
And then I hear the usual words from their mouths. I sensored away the flowery language. "beautiful yadda yadda tall yadda yadda looking for yadda models yadda advertisements yadda join us yadda yadda talents yadda come down for interview yadda my number"
June will say, "No thanks, we are late."
I tried to shout back to the interrupting people after we walk a few steps "Actually you heng, she is a transversite!", but I suppose June wun find it funny so I didn't do it.
But anyway, I forgot what I wanted to say.
Oh, that I am very irritated by these people. Some modelling agency called BMT (Obviously it is not this name but it is something like that) sends millions (and I mean like millions) of its "talent scouts" on Orchard Road to interrupt u when u are talking and make you forget what u wanna say and ask you to be a freaking model.
Whats the use of being a freaking model when you forgot what u wanted to say? I mean, obviously the latter is much more important.
Apparently this company is a big scam as they ask every Tom and hairy dick to be a model. Then Tom and Hairy Dick would have to take a portfolio first before being a model, and that will cost $4,000, thank you.
Or something like that. Personally, when I was walking alone I got approached, in a single day within a single stretch of road, THREE TIMES by BMT Models. How many times do they wanna ask, aiyoh! For goodness sake if they wanna send so many people to do the scouting, please invest a little and buy a inkpad and stamp.
Stamp on my forehead "ASKED AND REFUSED" in red ink. I dun mind looking silly. Just stop asking me to be your fucked up model. Fortunately, when I am with June people tend to look at her eyes when they speak, and obviously looking at that level they cannot see me at all. Good.
They dun even wanna make me start on What-is-it-about-Height-anyway-Theory. Thank goodness they dun bother me.
But for talking to June and interrupting me, they shld have some punishments.
I told June gravely today that I will give every multiple of five of such people who approach her a tight slap. Well maybe not a slap.
EG:
Me: Yadda yadda I am just talking as usual, my words dun mean much but whatever, you have to listen anyway. The weather is so terrific tod..
June: Grunt grunt
Me: Yeah lor she is such a bitch right I mean obviously she shouldn't p-
-interrupter no. 85-
BMT scout: Hi Miss (addressing June), I'm just wondering if u have a free minute?
June: Yeah?
BMT scout: Oh, miss you are really very pretty, you totally stand out from the crowd.
While June blushes I take out my Palmtop to add a tick to the 85th interrupter and realise, duh, that she is the 85th.
BMT scout: Yadda usual crap.
June: No sorry, I am not interested.
Me: What was I saying?
June: I forgot.
Me: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUCCCCCCK IT NOT AGAIN!
Me to BMT person: Oei you!
BMT scout: Yes?
Me: *takes out my 8910 and show her*
BMT scout: Erm, nice phone, so?
Me: Do u know that it is made out of titanium?
BMT scout: So?
Me: SOya bean. So it is hard. And do you know that you are the 85th to ask my friend over there to be a freaking model, from your company? I vowed to hit every multiple of 5. Now tell you colleagues not to bother her EVER again!
*Whacks the BMT scout hard in the forehead with the 8910. She faints and everyone looks at me in horror. I shout: She is a BMT scout! Everyone breathes in relief and comes over to shake my hand and pat me on the shoulder for getting rid of social pests. On the other side of the road another BMT scout gets lynched and everyone cheers*
*****
The end. How wonderous if everything works my way.
The world will be a better place if I control it.
Fucking shit.
The day has come!
Read this:
Dear xiaxue,
Your ImageStation account has been deactivated. This is most typically because there is unacceptable content in your account or you have created links on other websites that directly connect to files stored in your account. Please review the albums and Storage Bin in your account for the following situations and make corrections within 24 hours after reactivating your account:
1) unacceptable materials blah blah
2) You have placed links in other websites, forums, or chat groups to files stored on ImageStation. While it is permitted and encouraged to link directly to albums stored on ImageStation it is not permitted to link directly to the individual picture and video files.
After reactivating your account, please remove all content that does not conform to the guidelines. We will review your account content 24
hours after you reactivate your account. All the images in your entire account will be deleted without further notice if any content does not
conform to our guidelines. You will not be able to retrieve your images after we delete them.
Holy shit! Now what do I do? I think I shall set up another imagestation account and do the same time till they manage to find out.
Tata... Lotsa work to do. Anyone linking my pictures please remove the links k?
Thats right! Today I went to a place u possibly would not be able to go into for the rest of your life. Unless u work for the President of course. Thats the ISTANA!
So exciting right, Ritz Carlton had an Outdoor catering event at the above mentioned location and I begged and begged my manager to let me go there and he agreed! Actually it is not as beautiful as I thought it would be, but heck it, it is grand enough. Crystal chandeliers (did I spell this correct?) everywhere with white lights and high high ceilings. Exactly like what they show u in the movies.
U see, I love u guys. So I happily brought my camera into the Istana with me, hoping to possibly take a photo with Nathan and get his autograph or something, and show u all. Thoughtful ain't I? Nah, the security guard didn't think so. I hardly thinks he reads my blog.
We had to pass some metal detector so he asked me to take out every metal item and show him. I took out two hp pouchs and an 8310. He looked shocked and asked, "Woah, u got 3 phones ah! What is inside this two?"
I replied that I got two phones and one is a camera.
He frowned very hard and said that photo taking is not allowed in the Istana.
I told him that I wun take photos.
"Then u take camera here for what?"
Very good question. Got me stuck for a second.
"Oh, coz I dun have a locker at Ritz and I'm scared that people might steal my camera." I smiled sweetly. "I promise I wun take any pictures!"
He frowned again. "Oh okie okie lar. But dun take photo, or we will confiscate it."
$430 to be confiscated? No way! So no photos of humans except snapshots of boring buildings.
I walked through the metal detector again and it sounded. "Any metal objects on you?", the guard asked.
I showed him my belly ring. He looked like he thought it is very painful.
He thought mine was painful. Next in line was my Malay colleague with two lip piercings and a tongue piercing.
*****
This is a picture of the corridor of the ballroom. Actually, it is a badly taken photo coz it doesn't show anything particularly interesting and it is blur. So why I am a posting the picture?
BECAUSE IT IS ARTISTIC! It looks totally like one of those photo self-proclaimed photographers would claim as "an award winning artistic abstract photo". Hor hor u agree with me??!! I hate these self-proclaimed photographers. They keep taking bo liao blurry badly taken photos portraying nothing in particular and claim it looks damn nice.
I just think they waste my time. Usually, these kinda photos are displayed at the Esplanade or something with names like "Sunshine down my life" when the photo portrays an empty road with a ray of sunlight on it. Ahhhhh...Artistically enlightening, u say. Bullshit! I shall call my this bad photo "Iridescence across corridors" and thus give myself a convenience excuse for taking a badly taken photo.
Eg u say: "oei ur this photo is not interesting and blur leh!"
"It is artistic okie! U dunno one lar!"
"Where got artistic, stupid photo leh."
"U see, it is called Iridescence across Corridors for a reason! The lights symbolise the people who gave me hope when I was weak, and the 4 lights show my mum, my dad, my brother and my best friend.
The corridors leads down to a dark alley, symbolising that u will never know what is going to happen in life. And Corridors! Living life is like walking down a corridor, fill of turns and twists, and also u think u are alone, but u are not, as the Iridescence of the lights will always be with you. Artistic right?"
"Oh my god please excuse me while I concentrate on feeling my enlightenment. U are so god damn artistic!"
See? I just took an inspirational photo today.
Anyway, the main course set dinner (western) was COD FISH! THATS LIKE MY ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE FISH! While I was working I was drooling all over the food... And then Nathan wanted to talk or something and we had to stop service. So me and PY went to the kitchen. Guess what we found in the food heater.
It may look pretty revolting here but it IS VERY NICE! IT IS ORGASMIC! Totally yummy! We stole the extra leftover Cod fish from the kitchen and took 2 pieces each to go to the toilet to eat our fill.
Thats me having an orgasm.
It was a pity that there was no sauce though, as it was in a separate dish and we had to be quick in stealing. Later, when PY and I went out of the toilet looking suspiciously fat and contented, we got rather pissed off.
There we were stuffing ourselves in the toilet fast, and there the rest of the staff were, eating the full set (complete with creamy sauce, asparagus and other whatevers) ON THE TABLE, officially allowed by the managers. Haiz.. Nvm, we had our fill.
Thats is about Istana, nothing much interesting, except that the PY managed to get chummy with the security guard of Nathan or something and he said that Nathan's favourtie song is Bangawan solo. LOLz... I dunno whether that is true, but if it is, I find it very funny.
And yes, Nathan is very short.
*****
Guess what came in the mail today. You are right! It is something that will not interest you! But I still feel like posting the picture up.
It is the silver casing lar, not the whole PDA. Now my palmtop looks so much better without the old black casing! I am so glad! I bought the casing at $8 from Axegal (who reads my blog!) at yahoo auctions. Wonderful. Come tomorrow, I will do project with my classmates, and I will buy my Gucci wallet (fake one lar) from another Yahoo auctions seller together with June.
I am so happy happy happy!
-To get into my good books, guys, treat me to some good cod fish.-
Yesterday the person who was in charge of the Hennessy job called me up to ask me to work today. I asked her what kinda place I had to go to. She said a KTV pub. I said, Hmmm, okie. She asked me to find another person to work with me, and Xf, upon hearing the pay, said she would like to give it a try.
The pay is 80 bucks for 3 hours.
Anyway I would like to explain some stuff. I am not a slut. I once worked for Tiger Beer and Guinness as their promoters and both were totally decent jobs. No touching by the guests. Just strictly beer pouring. So yeah I thought Hennessy was the same.
1 hour before I went to the KTV pub I asked the girl in charge whether the KTV has "girls" inside. She said "Yeah, why?"
Sleaze!
Xf was horrified. She refused to go to the pub initially. I told her we could leave if we wanted to, and she said that they would force us to stay inside. Well anyway I forgot to bring a black skirt for her and she had to wear her jeans to work.
And we arrived at the scary place.
It is not as bad as I thought actually. The guests were fine; they didn't try to molest us or anything but seemed to treat us like little girls instead. After half an hour of not really doing anything except pour some liquer, the manager called me up.
Turned out that the stupid supervisor of the pub told her that one of us (XF) wore jeans and slippers, and we did not do the job properly but slacked around. The second part is totally not true! In fact, within half an hour we sold 3 bottles of VSOP (betcha didn't know it means Very Superior Old Pale) each costing $250!
But anyway WE GOT SACKED! He told us we can leave! I am damn insulted. Here I am, wondering whether I, being afterall a person with slightly above average intelligence, shld lower myself to work such a sleazy job, and HE FIRED ME! THE NERVE! Can he find someone prettier than XF?? How dare he fire us! An undergrad working for him! Gosh...
So after half an hour of doing absolutely nothing much, we left the place and asked Ghimz the Giam to join us for some Mac and went home.
Upon reaching home, I was thinking: "Holy shit! I earned 25 bucks just like that (they paying us for one hour of work)! Thats equivalent to working at the Ritz from 6 till 11, which is much much more tiring. Here flick hair a bit can earn money so easily... Hmmm..."
Anyway I explained stuff to my manager so I think she would still ask me to work, but perhaps for a different outlet or something. Shld I continue? If the job scope only consists of pouring Hennessy and promoting it for 3 hours and I will not get touched, is it job to be ashamed off? But the pay is so good. Gimme some opinions.
I once received an email by someone placing a cam inside a KTV pub and publishing the pictures. It looks utimately terrible! The room had naked women doing blows for the men, and lusty old men playing with the hostresses' nipples while they sing, or hostresses doing handjobs. Very scandalous indeed.
However, nothing of that interesting sort happened at all. Perhaps it was a more decent pub. The worst thing I shall was a "Girl" sitting on a man's lap facing him, ala sex position.
Haiz... I want my T500...
If I dun work this job I can't buy it, and I would feel very pissed indeed.
Oh yeah I joined the Get spotted contest from Starhub, and sent a photoshopped picture into it! But my pic will not be up till a few days later, and u all muz vote for me k k? Must ah! Meanwhile, please sign up and vote every other person a ONE STAR coz they all look quite ugly, in my opinion.
Oh yeah I am aware this entry is neither funny nor interesting, but forgive me, I am tired. I also did up the FAQ page so can check it out.
Oh man I have a headache, gonna sleep now...
I'm feeling much better now! The tonsil might have swelled until it became so big it dropped off, so now my stomach is possibly digesting it. Thats good. Tonsils are useless anyway.
In case u dunno what a tonsil is, it is a cross between a tongue and a stepsil.
Yesterday I had work at New Park Hotel, and goodness knows why, that particular family had ALOT of kids. I hate kids at banquets. Ok I pretty much hate kids. Oh, I'm not that unkind. Who doesn't love babies? I love babies. They smell so nice (is it some water bag or vagina smell? Sometimes I wonder.) and I think they are absolutely cute.
But I hate the babies once they learn to talk. In my opinion, kids shld always keep quiet. Kids nowadays are too darn rude.
Thats why I only had ONE tuitioning experience:
Mum: This is Wendy jie jie, ur new tutor. Ok Wendy u teach him his spelling first, then help him with some Hw and make him do some assessments ok?
Me: Okie.
Smelly 9 yr old boy, when mum is gone: Hello Wendy!
Me: Oei, u are supposed to call me Wendy Jie Jie.
Smelly 9 yr old boy: I show u my pokemon toy?
Me: No, no, learn ur spelling!
Smelly 9 yr old boy: Why shld I listen to u? U are not my mother.
Me: *gasp* But ur mother ask u to learn what.
Smelly 9 yr old boy: But u also never learn, why must I learn it?
Me: Thats irrelevant! It is your spelling, so YOU shld learn it, not me!
Smelly 9 yr old boy: Hiyah. I show u my pokemon toy?
Actually the above didn't happen but my tolerance level is lower than that. I have heard much worse from my friends. Goodness knows why they subject themselves to such torture. Hey, personally I would rather pour tea and carry heavy platters and subject myself to tremendous ridiculous requests from guests.
Kids nowadays. Whenever they ask u "why" and challenge u that they will not do something when u ask them to, U SHOW THEM WHO IS BOSS. God made adults bigger sized than kids not so that kids will look cute, but because adults are meant to bully kids. Give the smelly kid (I'm talking about those above 6 yrs old) a whack on the head with a giant pikachu toy and he will know better than to challenge u in future.
*****
EG, tuition scenerio:
Smelly 9 yr old boy: Why shld I listen to u? U are not my mother.
Me: *Whack head with a giant Pikachu toy* Roars: BECAUSE I SAY SO! NOW DO IT!
Smelly 9 yr old boy: Oh, u beat me! I am going to tell my mummy! Boohoohoo!
Me: Shut up! U DESERVED THAT WHACKING! *Whacks one more time* U go tell lar, u think I scared ah. At most I lose this job. U think I wan to teach u meh? But now *steals a glance at cover of textbook*, I know ur class and school, and if u tell ur mum, I will TELL ALL UR CLASSMATES THAT U HAVE A PINK POWERPUFF GIRL STUFF TOY AT HOME! Muahahahhaha!
Smelly 9 yr old boy: *hugs the said stuff toy tighter and whimpers painfully* Okie okie I do my homework, Wendy jie jie.
Me: U are to say I am pretty RIGHT NOW!
Smelly 9 yr old boy: Wendy jie jie u are very pretty *whimpers more*.
Me: Not that I care about ur opinion of course.
Kids will behave better if everyone has an evil heart like mine.
*****
Anyway, yesterday when I was opening the door for the bride and groom to make their grand entrance, this male colleague of mine suddenly asked me: Hey, u have a website izzit?
I was damn freaked out.
Despite my very shocked face, he continued to ask: "Hey, that Indian guy really smoke on the MRT ah?"
Ah well. It doesn't seem like that much people have read the site before (statistics from the webcounter), since I have always assumed that my readers come back regularly. But of course, I forgot that there might have been alot of people only seeing it ONCE to see what the big deal is.
So yeah, since there are so many peole reading this, I shall do up an FAQ page. Will be done soon.
I recently got to know this love scandal happening at my work place. It is quite interesting so I shall say it, but names have been changed to protect the innocent and the guilty.
Keith (thats one of my favourite names coz I like names with TH in it.) is the banquet manager. Scrunchie (I have a fetish for scrunchies. I keep buying ang buying scrunchies so I have like 15 now. And I just decided that I like it as a name. Doesn't it look so cute?) is Keith's gf, and is one of the banquet waitresses. In fact, Keith and Scrunchie have been together for 8 months now, but Keith doesn't want anyone in the workplace to know, coz it will make things awkward for the rest of the Banquet staff.
So anyway, theres this other girl called Monica who likes Keith. Monica does not know that Keith is attached to Scrunchie, so she is like mad over him. On the other hand, Monica self-proclaimed that she is Scrunchie's very good friend, so she regularly calls to tell Scrunchie about how much she loves Keith.
Scrunchie is very unwilling to hear Monica bitch about how Keith was so nice to her today, how she thinks Keith might be in love with her etc, but yet, she is too curious to hear from Monica's point of view what Keith has been doing to Monica behind her back. And also, the author personally feels that Scrunchie is too nice a person to smack Monica and tell her to fuck off. Failing that, Scrunchie could say "So? Who cares?" to Monica like I have taught u guys to, but Scrunchie doesn't read my blog.
Keith does not know that Monica calls Scrunchie to tell her stuff. Poor Keith? No. He deserves it. Men. *rolls eyes*
Heres the climax of the story.
One fine day, Monica asked Keith to go clubbing with her. Keith told her he is not free as he was out drinking with other friends. So Monica got pissed drunk (I personally feel that she PRETENDED to be pissed drunk), and called Keith up.
Monica asked Keith to come to look for her as she is not feeling well. Keith, having just finished drinking with his friends, agreed.
OH FUCK IT! I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT MONICA IS ATTACHED! Okie keep that in mind now. She could have asked her bf to come fetch her, but no! She had to ask Keith. Slut. Oops, I forgot to be objective. I am on Scrunchie's side afterall.
Keith told Monica he will send her home in a cab, but Monica claimed that her mum will get angry with her if she goes home so pissed drunk. (Well thats her own business. If she knows her mum will get angry, DUN DRINK!) But despite the apparent flaw in that statement, Keith decided that sending her home is not an option.
Monica suggested to go to Keith's place (we all know her motive, dun we?). Keith's family knows Scrunchie and loved her, so Keith's family will personally slaughter him if he brings some drunk girl home. So Keith told her that is not an option as well.
I personally would have left Monica in the streets but Keith (men. *rolls eyes*) suggested booking a hotel room.
The next morning, Keith told Scrunchie that he and Monica stayed over at a hotel room togther and they did not do anything.
A few hours later came Monica's call to Scrunchie too, and Monica told Scrunchie that she and Keith did heavy patting and stopped short of sex coz Monica felt she was not ready. (what about her bf?!)
Poor Scrunchie. Naturally she confronted Keith and Keith admitted to his crimes and apologized profusely saying that he was pissed drunk as well. Convenient excuse. Get urself pissed drunk and u can rape little 5 yr old girls as well and escape scot free.
Can u believe Scrunchie actually forgived Keith? And also, Keith, till this day, did not tell Monica that he is attached, so Monica is still flirting with him outrageously during work hours, making Scrunchie a very upset person.
Goodness knows why Scrunchie is still with Keith. Scrunchie is entering uni soon, and Keith possibly cannot string a bundle of words into an English sentence. He is my banquet manager and a very nice person, but haiz... Compatibility is another thing. Of course, it is not up to me to judge whether Scrunchie shld be with Keith or not in the first place, but after this incident, there is NO WAY i would forgive Keith if I am Scrunchie.
Or would u, if u were her?
Am sick. Think I'm running a fever. I shall go sleep right, and try to blog tml. No one is allowed to ask me to take care. If u intended to ask me to take care, say I'm pretty instead and I will feel much better.
I shall skip school.
Dammit, I got alot to write but Ow, that swollen tonsil. I wanna cut it off.
tata!
Oh my god oh my god. I am really really touched by all the comments u guys left after the latest entry. U people are really the best, seriously speaking. *tears* And anyway, I would just like to admit that the previous entry was simply one caused by PMS (I really got my period around 4 hours after I wrote that entry), so I am feeling much better. Thats right, women and mood swings, heehee...
Just now something very terrible happened. I got home after a job interview (which I succeeded) as a mobile phone promoter (some new brand) and I rushed into the bathroom to bathe happily. Stripped down to nothing and sat on the toilet seat while replying XF's sms (yes I bring my phones into the toilet). As I was clicking away, something brown and nervous flew straight towards me, seemingly attracted to my belly ring area.
A giant moth, spanning 4 cm in length I'm sure, if it spread its wings properly. It flew towards my naked body at 80 km/hr and while I was paralysed with disgust, landed "turp, flutter, flutter" on my stomach and bounced off to my thighs.
I sent a silent prayer to whoever up there that it didn't land on my boobs.
From my thighs, it proceeded to act as if it was very scared of the actions of me doing a combination of shrieking, screaming my head off and flinging my hands everywhere. How could that stupid thing be scared? He knows jolly well that teenage Singaporean females will not dare to kill it. It is HAVING GREAT FUN! It happily flew everywhere near me (around the face area) while my mum, maid and brother shouted and asked me what is wrong. No doubt they thought I had gone mad.
And it knew that it can happily fulfil its voyeurism coz it will take some time for me to wrap myself in a towel, wipe my a** (sorry for the explicit details), flush the toilet, and then open the bathroom door for rescuers to come in.
Singaporean girls might not kill it, but Indonesian women have no pity. My maid stepped into the bathroom, took some toilet paper, and smashed the powdery cretin to the last of its lusty life.
I continued with my shower thinking how, if that little piece of *toot* was still alive, I would torture it. I would put it a little plastic box. I would shake it like it was a pepper shaker. I would pull its feelers out one by one, followed by legs. I will dangle a female moth (I'm sure the one who attacked me is male) in front of it and not allow it to mate. I would then put the moth into the microwave and turn the heat to "low" and let it scald. Slowly. As if that is not enough, just when it is almost too hot for it to survive, i will take it outta the microwave.
It thinks that finally it is getting cooler. I WOULD GIVE IT COOLER! I will put into pieces of ice cubes to freeze it to death. And finally when the ice cubes melt and it thinks that it is finally not so cold, it would DROWN!!! BWAHAHAHAHHAHA! *Evil laughter*
It was a traumatizing bath I had.
Anyway, after what seems like an extremely long time, I finally had a good hair day! In actual fact, my hair looked like utter shit in the morning. Feeling pissed, I took out one of those rollers u thought only aunties use and put them on. Ah! After 3 hours, those stupid dead cells had no choice but to curl up nicely.
I looked at the awesome hair in excitement, and did something very stupid.
U see, the problem with my hair is that it is like a gremlin. It simply cannot touch water or horrible lumps will start popping up and destroying the world.
I forgot this little fact and in a desperate attempt to try to freeze the curls into position for the rest of the day, sprayed gel all over it.
And the gel boosted its high water content proudly while my curls disintergratd into hair Hermione Granger would be ashamed of.
But! I managed to take a photo b4 it went too bad.
Something must be done to the hair. I am thinking of dyeing it blonde.
I'm sick of my curls being so ugly most of the time nowadays. I wanna go rebonding it and cut it into something moe stylish. Say, Landy (wen lan)'s hair? I'm worried about the fringe part though. Here it is, jet black hair w/o fringe.
Here it is with fringe:
please try to ignore that the neck is a different colour.
I am aware it looks relatively ugly. But I'm quite sure I will straighten it, and put a single white (or pink, I haven't decided which) streak in the fringe like Landy did. I feel like spending money on hair.
If not on hair, then where else shld I spend my immerse fortune on?
You see, the zhao cai jin bao necklace really works. Eileen called me up to ask me to work as a pair with her to promote Hennessy, which is paying 80 bucks for 3 hours of work.
That pretty good money! If I work for 3 days a week I would get 960 bucks a month, holy shit!
I feel filthy rich already.
It will be time to buy an mp3 player. Take a look at my discman, so terribly injured.
Can u beliece this piece of antique was a gift from mum for good PSLE results?!
I already have too many gadgets I bring out everyday (palm, camera, two phones),so I decided I shall purchase the Nokia mp3 player so that at least it looks like it comes with the phone (if only)
Hurray, so exciting! And to everyone who gave me encouragements all this while, thank u again for being there when I was so down!
Btw, I feel like setting up #xiaxue in irc so that I can talk to my readers leh. Is it too bhb? Will u all support? If yes just go into the channel tml night k k?
Oh yeah please do gimme comments on the hair k ?
-A mega hug for everyone-
