Yesterday in school June, Fiona (coursemate and June's friend) and I were walking to Dover Mrt together after school. In our oily hands were packets of delicious nuggets and chicken wings.

I dunno if u all have a certain way of eating chicken wings, but I follow a standard procedure.

1) Eat skin in front.
2) Eat meat at back.
3) Eat meat in front and use index finger to help push out the flesh from between the bones.

But this procedure does not tally with my usual habit of eating what I like best at the last. You see, thats because my favourite part of the wing is the SKIN.

So i said out loud rather stupidly, "I think chickens should have their skins inside and their flesh outside."

Immediately June and Fiona "Eeeew!"-ed.

But this spurred on more discussions on how we think animals should be genetically modified.

Lets see, nobody likes chicken breast meat, except crippled Enormous Ek. Chicken breast meat is tough, dry and unchewable. If u are a chicken breast meat lover, you fall into the catergories of weird people liking peas, livers, kidneys, ginger, parsley etc. That means u are a minority.

So chickens shld be genetically modified to look like this, despite your protests:


No breast no butt and triple drumsticks.

Ain't that great?

After a while we decided the head is pretty much useless as well.



Hai, if only I am god. I would make chickens look like this. This will save the human race alot of trouble, afterall stupid animals like chickens are born to be eaten. Dun say I am cruel, you vegetarians. Even if we don't eat the chickens the tigers/lions/platypus will. It is no one's but the chicken's whole fault that it is so nice to eat.

Well, I have no idea why scientists are wasting time making square watermelons when there are so much other things to modify.

Eg make some:

1) Shell-less prawns/lobsters/crabs, saves us tons of trouble.

2) Bone-less fish, so that inexperienced banquet waitresses won't spoil your fish no more.

3) Bulls with udders so that milk would not be so expensive.

4) Pandas with both sex organs so that when they masterbate they get pregnant and we dun need to worry so much about whether they get extinct.

5) Cockroachs into a bright pink/electric blue so that the world would be a much quieter place without girls screaming. On the other hand, we will get more of the typical "So cute!" (which is bad), but cockroaches will then be dried and sold as ornaments so in general the economy will get better, and we will have less cockroaches.

6) Humans shld have a tail. I have no idea what for, but I am just jealous animals have it and I dun. I can use it to whack people.

7) Humans to have pointy ears like elves. I like!

Okie I shall stop here coz the list is quite endless.

Anyway, I was just thinking about some of the bimbo events that happened in school last time.

There is this group of vain girls in my course, and they always sit below us (Me June Clara Shuyin) in the lecture hall so we can see clearly what is going on with them.

Once, I was about to fall asleep when Girl A started to scratch the behind of her ears. I was looking dreamily at the said ear when Girl B, sitting beside Girl A, started to look at Girl A too. Girl B saw that A's ears were very red from the scratching. B got rather dramatically worried about the redness.

Actually it did look really red.

Girl B kept saying the ear is very very red. A asked for B to show her.

B took out a mirror.

And she intelligently held up the mirror behind A's ear to show her, something like this:


Sorry if the picture is ugly/unclear, coz I had no choice but to draw it

Obviously A can't see a single thing as the mirror was held behind her ear.

Girl B said, "Woah, see, very red hor?"

Girl A exclaimed, "Where is the mirror?!"

Girl B realised that she had done something really dumb so she started to erupt into laughter. Girl A laughed too, and Girl C and D saw what happened and laughed as well.

Beside me, June was sleeping and Shuyin and Clara were distracted, so they missed out the good show. I almost burst 3 ribs from stopping myself from howling in laughter.

If you thought that was stupid, you are wrong. During the very start of Poly there was a lot of activities for us to sign up etc. Pasted outside this classroom was a notice:

make-up class, 16/7/2001 4:30pm

I actually told June that I feel like going to the make up class so that I can improve my make up skills. Ah well...

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Well, my pic is not currently up here... (Do vote for me, please? I need it!)

Actually I send the pic in coz I was thinking it would be nice to be a VJ for a while, afterall I might get to host with UTT! June said that MTV will partner us up coz we are both short. Great.

Some people left bad comments and ratings. Hey, its like damn funny isn't it, that some people obviously dun have a sense of humour? The description was meant to be funny, and not serious. Ah well... Humans...

Let me counter some of the comments.

nuit blanche Rating : 1/5
Humility is a virtue!!

Well darling, virtues dun really get u to become an MTV VJ. So I am supposed to write my description something like: Hi, my name is Wendy. I pretty much suck big time. I get stage frights and I stagger a little. Sometimes I think I look damn hideous. I know I am not worthy for being a VJ, but I just would like to try. Can u guys give me a chance?

Would u give such a person a chance? Humility my foot. I say Confidence is beauty, don't you?

And anyway please take note that in the whole description I WAS KIDDING. If u dun understand a joke, then u possibly watch CNN instead of MTV, so u wun see me on TV when I become a VJ. Thats good, for both u and me, you think?

fLyHigH Rating : 1/5
U look Like JapaNese...nice but too arrogant by the way you write your profile.
Oh, how fair is this person? "Nice, but hey, since I realise I can judge her by a few words, I give her a 1. This is justified coz she is "arrogant". She may look damn beautiful and she may be funny and perfect for being a VJ, but I refuse to give her a chance coz she is too cocky according to myself, who cannot understand a joke when I see one." Wonderful. Love serious people.

Shuga Rating : 2/5
Pretty but obnoxious...see her blog and u'll know why...sorry but not mtv material!

Fair enough. But darling I am not obnoxious. Most of the time, I was JUST KIDDING. You have got to understand that, baby. Oh well okie okie I am obnoxious.

So?

justpushplay Rating : 1/5
highly overrated

LOL... We have an amoeba here, everybody. This must be going through that single-cell brain when he commented: "Oh dammit! She is pretty! Actually not very pretty but she looks slightly better than some contestants. Well, I think she deserves a 3. But no! I shall not give her a 3! I shall not be fair! Coz everyone else gave her a 5 except some, I shall give her a 1. She does not deserve a 1 actually, but hey, I'm just giving my rating coz I am damn influenced by other people's rating of her.

Not to mention that my friend is another contestant of course."

Well. I hope u die.

B00M Rating : 2/5
Well I'm deluded, your bad. Ure too full of urself. Perhaps it has to do with ur age.

U admitted that u are deluded. What else can I say?

Hey hey whats the age discrimination here? Oh, I think you must be the Eddie Goh contestant, issit? Well news for you. We youngsters discriminate against the old too. We hate people with wrinkles all over. Have fun with your viagra, darling.

Kai Rating : 1/5
No one likes a cocky girl.

It depends on what u mean by "cocky". If u meant girls with a cock, well I guess you are wrong, coz quite alot of people like transvertites (how to spell?)

Who u saying is cocky? *looks around* Oh, ME? YOU MEAN ME? I'm not cocky nia, I am just confident. I know some people who cannot accept that, especially guys who likes girls that keep quiet and nod at every sentence they say, no?

If u are one of those shu nu lovers, well you shld smack yourself awake with a piece of fois gras. Nothing good about diminutive women at all, except for washing clothes and etc stuff u guys bully girls into doing.

Oh yeah your sentence is wrong coz
1) I am not cocky
2) and to prove that, lotsa people like me. =)

fuzzy Rating : 1/5
don't seems to be nice at all..

It depends on your definition of nice, darling. I can be real nice you know. Now it would be nice of you if u would stop judging my niceness like that and sign up with ur second email and give me 5 stars, which I deserve.

Oh yeah, yesterday someone write a long long comment about how I suck. Although I have lotsa stuff to blog about, I shall still counter him painfully, point by point. Once again I stress to everybody who dislikes me.

1) You are plain stupid to try to insult me on my blog coz this is afterall, MY blog and I can choose to erase, or even edit every single sentence u say. For example you say this:

Xiaxue you suck big time. You are not pretty at all, and not to mention fat. You are damn arrogant and think you are the best, don't you? Well, for your info, your fans who worship you are not in the right frame of mind.

Lets see, I can easily make it into this:

Xiaxue you suck big time. You are not pretty at all, and not to mention fat. You are damn arrogant and think you are the best, don't you? Well, for your info, your fans who worship you are not in the right frame of mind.

Wonderful. I had no idea there was a hidden message in the paragraph at all.

2) There is no way you can argue urself after I counter what u said. This is because nobody is interested in what u have to say anyway, and also because even if they are, I will delete it. I will delete your arguements not because I am not good enough to argue with u again, but bacause it will make you infinitely pissed and also because I am not interested in what u have to say as well coz I think crap shld only be given one chance.

And then again there is the usual sentence my readers will say. If you dun like my blog, dun read it! If u really wanna give me a piece of your mind, one comment will do. So if u come back to argue what I countered, you are proving that you actually love my blog and just want some attention from me. Well, little begger, I gave u some, so leave.

3) My warning to you is that u will just realise that I am fabulous afterall, after u get over the initial trauma of seeing my "cockiness", because as such is my sense of humour. U dun wanna be seen to take back your words afterall.

OKIE here is the comment, in bold: (thanks Jo for already countering it so beautifully.)

First and foremost, i am not surprised, u look like a fat ah lian, the type i will not give a second glance on the streets. what makes u feel so proud to be working as a tiger girl?

Why would you be surprised? As in what, u expected to see a fat ah lian and u saw one? How can u be surprised about my looks when it is plastered everywhere so u definitely saw my pic before reading my words? Weirdo.

Define fat. You live in Stickland? I am not fat and I know it, darling. Possibly, you, hiding behind ur dusty computer screen, is.

Oh boohoohoo heres a guy who claims he wun give me a second glance on the streets! I am so upset! Kleenex please!

No, asshole. I DUN GIVE A SHIT ABOUT WHETHER U GLANCE AT ME OR NOT, ASSHOLE. Crazy. Whoever gave a shit about ur opinions anyway? My blog readers dun, so fuck off.

Me proud to be a Tiger girl? Well, first find proof that I said I am proud to be one. Hey look here, loving my part time (I stress on the part time) job doesnt mean I am proud of it, dumdum. It is just a normal job, which even hired Grouchy Gwenne. Hey, who wants to be on par with her, looks wise?

Oh yeah lets try to see YOU being a Tiger Boy my dear, since u claim it is an easy job to get. LOL... The imagery! Nerd in tiger dress! LOL...

u are but a cheap ah lian looking for some easy money. coming from poly doesn't make u any better either, read my lips: i am an A'level student with a place in the university and a bright future waiting for me. how about u? when will your first million from cheap jobs come in?

This one really made me laugh out loud. Hey read my lips my dear. Two simple words sums it all. "WHO CARES?

You are indeed very weird. U come to my blog to talk about urself? For goodness sake this is MY blog, and my readers do not give a shit about whether u are an A level student or not. So, big fuck if u are going into uni? All of my friends are, no big deal. Oh yeah I forgot I dun give a shit about you.

I'm a cheap ah lian looking for some easy money huh. Yeah okie I am. SO? And yes I chose poly. That doesnt make you superior my dear. I could have got into JC too you know. But seriously, why shld I compare myself to such an idiot? Haha...

And my first million? Well somewhere in the archives is a detailed entry on how I will earn my first million. Go read it, and be so impressed.

i think u are fucking racist as well, what makes u think u are any better than these footballers?

Did I say I am better than them? Oh yeah I did. Whats better about me ah... Hmmm... Let me think a little. Maybe brains? And yeah, as I said those footballers are a mixture of Indian, Malay and Chinese, so who am I racist against, ALL of them?

u all work for fucking Tiger, i dun remember seeing it on Fortune 500's top 50 companies.

1) The footballers dun work for Tiger Beer my dear. Just because Tiger Beer sponsors the game, it doesnt mean the footballers are WORKING for Tiger Beer.

2) Tiger Beer, Heineken and Anchor Beer, Guinness and etc alcohols are Asia Pacific Breweries' products. I bet u dun read that magazine my dear, coz I happened to read that Asia Pacific Breweries is Singapore's 5th richest company, standing only slightly behind SIA. Do your research properly before you write, or APB might come sue you, asshole.

Wake up! have u got no sense of ambition? are u going to rot like all the other ah lians working in the coffeeshops?(contrary to popular belief, not only aunties work at coffeeshops, lots of ah lians do that too)

Erm, its time for YOU to wake up? Coz this is only a PART TIME JOB, my dear. I'm not gonna be working for Tiger Beer all my life! You sound mad, you know, so concerned over whether I have an ambition when you dun know me at all.

Oh yeah I think the "ah lians", whose food you have been eating (we know u eat at coffee shops coz u are so sure about Tiger girls working there), are possibly richer than you would be in future.

Why, you ask. Well, its simple. The streets are full of graduates. But how many people can cook a nice plate of chicken rice?

Say you took a course in Accounting. Its okie if the world hires an accountant less, but hey, everybody needs to eat! The ah lian would inherit her dad's store and earn way more than you, measly graduate! Till then, you better pray that she is so filthy rich she needs an accountant, so u would get a job.

anyway, i know plenty of malay guys who are way smarter than u, at least they know where they stand and move aside when successful people like me come along.

OMG this is so funny. And he said I am racist. I am not even gonna start one this one, just laugh right now.

Oh yeah once again, you come to my blog to talk about urself. I'm sorry darling, but this is not fasttalk hotline, not a place for you to promote urself, coz NOBODY CARES about u...!

u? u can only act big and have nothing to show for it. u got 251 for your PSLE and just managed to scrape thru to RV, afterwhich u go to Poly, what a disgrace. what about me?

I got act big meh? U then act big, and u have even less to show for it.

I got 269 for my PSLE, lets see you try to beat that.

Go Poly very disgraceful meh? I chose to study something which will be USEFUL in my life, and not stuff like F maths which I wastes my brain cells for useless information. I'm still going to uni after poly, and that is nothing to be ashamed of, you asshole.

i followed the Singaporean dream, i went to JC and will now go to the university, in ten years time, u will be nothing but a cheap whore, maybe a SPG even.

LOL... Loser... The Singapore dream can only work for an immigrant country my dear (PY please explain in comments), where everybody starts fair and fresh. You are too dumb to realise that, and followed what our government told you to do. With MNCs monopolising almost every business market, u can only work for others in future. How far can you go?

Well lets, for a split second, imagine that I am what u said I am, which I am not.

Whore? Well, If I am one I would be earning money from desperados like you who are too disgusting to have sex and are very deprived. At least I am earning YOUR MONEY. Can u earn mine? No, I dun think so.

SPG? Well okie... You will be working under my Ang Moh husband in future, and I will order my cute little Eurasian kid to bite u, and there is nothing u can do about it. LOL...

In conclustion, a whore and a SPG is better off than you.

How about me?(Firstly I would like to stress that no one cares about how about you, but never mind, please continue) i will be flying the corporate flag, laughing at u losers.

LOL so I am right, your ambition is to work for others. Who's the loser?

anyway, i hate ah lians,(once again no one cares who you hate.) the only people who like them are ah bengs.

So?

so dun u go round calling people small ah lians, look at the fucking mirror and what do u see? an obese ah lian.

SMALL AH LIANS?? LOL... A level student using a direct translation from Chinese? LOL... Tsk tsk

Who is the mirror fucking?

I dun see the obese ah lian in my fucking mirror leh, did you see it in your fucking mirror instead? hmmm... Obese sia. Talk about exaggeration. Lets see you try to fit into my jeans (levis 25) and we will see if u dun tear the seams. Dun gimme the "you are a girl of course your waist is thinner" shit. Since I am OBESE a normal guy shld be my size, no?

LOL 42 kg obese. I had enough of this "FAT" insult my dear, it is stale and not working anymore. Dun u have something better to say? U sound so fucking stupid coz no one else would agree that I am obese. I may be a little plump, yes, but not obese, asshole.

i'll tell u what,(what? Oh wait I am not interested to hear.) u are the kind of girl that no decent guy will every consider for a spouse, u will end up a spinster with no possible chance of a future of any significance.

LOL I wonder what makes him so sure. Well, I sure there are people out there who would like to marry my kinda girl.

No future of any signifcance? Well, I'm sorry I have to sound a little proud here, but at the tender age of 19, I am already a successful writer (please read the guestbook) and you? You are still NOTHING. I wonder who will end up the loser, really.

Go get a diet, u look horrifically fat, i dun remember knowing any girls who are more fat than u, but then, i would never associate myself with people even remotely like u.

LOL... U have the memory of Dory? Or have you forgotten about ur mum? Ask her if she weighs more than 42 kg. If ur mum weighs less than that, please ask your school teacher. Not knowing anyone fatter (not more fat, take note) than me is ridiculous, unless you live in Africa.

And lastly, the second part of your sentence is irrelevant with the first part, if u noticed, amoeba-brain.

Well thats it. Finished with the insults. Lets go on to everyday life then.

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Alright heres more about normal life...

Today I had a very good hair day! I shall post up a big big picture so that I will irritate people who think I am ugly.



Yup! June said I look like a porn star. I took it as a compliment.

I did something silly. I went to cut away the nice curls.

U see, I met up wth PY today, and we walked pass Kimage, and we both decided to get a trim. It is done by students ($10.40 for long hair) at Funan. I got my hair done by this really cute Malaysian guy, so I dun really care about the hair. Hmmm.. I was enjoying every second of the neck massage he did... But no, I didn't manage to get a shot of him... A bit paiseh to ask like that lar...

So while I was looking into the mirror at him instead of at the scissors, I think he cut it too short.



The back is supposed to be in a V shape!



Ah well... The blown curls doesnt look very nice as well... But it makes me look like those taitais who blow their hair everyday at salons.

Oh man.. I'm too tired to continue blogging... Tml still got school at 9! I will write about today's and yesterday's and tml's happenings tml then. Got lotsa rubbish I wanna blog.

Nites everyone, and once again, please remember to vote for me? Please?

-All those idiots hating me make me laugh-

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Yesterday I didn't blog, so I have alot of stuff to write.

Firstly, yesterday I worked for Tiger Beer again after a break of 1 year, and it is really the best job in the world! All we had to do yesterday was to pour beer for a relatively decent pub's guests as it was the pub's first day of opening and only the boss' friends were invited.

We (me and another Tiger girl) arrived late at 6:40 (supposed to be 6pm, but the manager is not there and nobody cares) and we were allowed to eat dinner till 7pm. We walked around and poured beer and the owner of the pub even asked us if we wanted to sing KTV. Later on, at 9 pm, we were asked to help ourselves to the buffet line, and then our manager came. He walked into the room where we were eating. I clammed up, seeing that he caught us skiving.

He smiled and asked us if the chicken is nice.

And he pulled a chair and joined us. And there we sat for the next 40 minutes talking rubbish, after which the other girl, Tess, and I were allowed to leave the place $60 richer.

Just when we were gleefully walking out with our bags, the owner of the newly opened pub stopped us. He opened his wallet, and said, "Come, uncle give u tips, thanks for helping me out today!"

So we walked out $70 richer.

Haiz, what a happy day.

Aha, but there's a catch! There always is, isn't it?

I was damn pissed by this group of guests. According to Tess, there were a bunch of footballers, so natually it was a mix of Malay, Indian and Chinese guys, less of the latter.

This is the conversation that happened:

Indian guy: Hi!

Me: Eh, hello.

Indian guy: U not a local right?

Me: I am a Singaporean.

Indian guy: Dun bluff!

Me: Huh? Siao I bluff u for what? So which country do I look like I am from? *Gives an irritated frown*

Indian guy: No no I not saying you look like u from China... no la...

Me: Yeah I look like a Malaysian issit?

Indian guy: Haha... So u working at coffee shops normally issit? I only see u girls in coffee shops.

-At this precise moment I felt like sticking something huge, hot and with thorns into his ass. The ideal item would be a barbacued porcupine. In fact, I wanted so much to put the porcupine into his ass that I tried looking around for one, but with no avail. I think they should put porcupines at newly opened pubs in case stupid men start to insult the waitresses.-

Me: Excuse me? One, this is not a full time job. Two, only aunties work at coffee shops, I'm sure u haven been to enough pubs or hotel lounges to see us around, but it doesn't mean we dun exist at those places.

Indian: Oh, not full time job? So u got another job?

Me: No, I'm currently studying.

Indian guy: Oh, ITE or Poly?

At this precise moment I turned my back ready to not answer his question and leave. I cannot believe my eyes!

There, scurrying in one hidden corner of the pub behind a potted plant was a black creature trying to move unnoticed. It shook a little and left a trail of black sharp needles on the floor. Suddenly, a dozen goblins hopped out of the potted plant and captured the terrified, and not to mention shocked, hedgehog. A barbecue pit appeared out of nowhere and they roasted the hedgehog will it was white hot and stuffed it into the Indian guy's ass. He yapped and yapped in pain, strangely shouting out the words: "Sorry.. I... Pain!..I... not... Oww!..look...down...people...anymore!

No, that didn't happen. It was just a mirage, sadly.

As I returned to the normal world, I realised he was still talking to me.

"Poly ah, so smart ah, cannot believe it."

-Someone hand me a chainsaw please-

"What course?"

Breathing hard, "Media and communications."

"What is that?"

"Listen. I got to go serve our customers."

WTF IS WRONG WITH THAT GUY! I think I will bring my O level cert everywhere I go, and I will use it to SLAP HIS BLOODY FACE. POLY too SMART for me huh? I CAN GO INTO JC OKIE! Fucked up idiot. Why did he not ask me "JC, uni, poly or ITE?". If I went into JC, I will use my ankle sock to stuff up his hairy nostril. But I chose Poly.

And u think this fella is bad. Birds of the same feathers flock together, so lets hear about his friend.

Indian guy: Hey Wendy Wendy! My friend wants to talk to u!

Malay guy: So Wendy, I heard from him u from Poly.

Indian guy: Yeah Wendy he dun believe u are from Poly!

Me: What.

Malay guy: You from Poly meh? *Gave me a disbelieving look* I also from SP last time. Let me test you, you what faculty.

(Apparently the fucked up guy was not from SP as SP does not have faculties but different "schools", ie, School of Business, which I am in.)

I thought:What is the big fuck about SP? Who would lie to say they are in a Poly, asshole? Only idiots like you think it is glamourous to be in poly. Hey look, here my O levels cert and it reads 11 points. Can u count? It means I can go into JC easily, asshole!
I said: What do u mean what faculty. There are no faculties in SP, duh.

Malay guy: Oh, so you what course?

I thought:You so fucking dumb, I tell u u also dunno.
I said: Media and comm.

Malay guy: What is that?

I thought: Dah, I knew it.
I said: A course.

Malay guy: U also from SP ah, so next time when u graduate u can join the alumni and see me there!

I thought:Nobody is interested to see your fucked up face and I dun talk to amoeba-brains, so speak to my hand.
I said: I am not interested to join SP's alumni.

Malay guy: Why not, you should be very glad that SP accepted you and gave u a good education.

With this I turned my heel and left him talking to himself.

FUCKING HELL! I got so pissed that I almost smoked (as in, on flames) right there, but I can't scold him, as my job was far too valuable to risk losing.

What is the big fuck about Poly? They speak as if it is some Mensa organisation. Either that or I look extremely retarded, so it is amazing that I can get into Poly.

I got so pissed, that I spend 15 minutes thinking how I would use my old RV school uniform and throw it at his face.

"Nah," I would say. "Here is my old school uniform. PSLE grades of 251 and above will be accepted into the school, can your daughter fit into the uniform since u look like u can hardly afford a new one for her? Or did she get your genes and is a half retard? Oh wait, my secondary school is the Fifth in ranking in Singapore this year, and they dun accept Malays, sorry! Oh wait a minute. I am not sorry."

Mean huh? But I really had enough of such retards.

People nowadays keep giving me that raised eyebrows look whenever I say I am in Poly. WTF! Do I really look like a school drop out? And whats worse is that it is not as if my results barely fulfilled Sp's criteria and I heng heng got in after struggling with my pudding brains. It is irritating the shit outta me.

People gimme the raised eyebrows look when I say I am in Poly, and they give XF and PY the "I am so impressed with you!" look when XF and PY say they are going to uni. Hey, whats the discrimination here! I am going into Uni soon too, and I will wipe the smirk off those people's faces.

*****

Enough about angry events. Anyway, today June, Clara and I went to shop around at Orchard, when I suddenly received a phone called from eLJay (one blog reader) saying that he saw me. LOLz... It is beginning to scare me! I think I shall wear sunglasses out next time.

While June and I were walking around, a very normal and typical thing happened.

You see, I'm a kpo person. Actually, I'm not kpo. I'm just very curious. So usually when June and I walk along the Orchard underpass stretch, some people will suddenly approach June and start yakking.

Being my curious self, I will bend over to listen too, rather irritated coz I'm the kinda person who is talking most of the time while June makes little grunting noises of agreement, and these stupid people usually interrupt me talking.

Not only do they interrupt me, they dun know that they are causing grave harm. This is cause I tend to forget what I was saying immediately and June will have the mission of remembering what I just said, which she will fail to do, and I will be very miserable coz I forgot what I wanted to say.

Now the interrupting people I am talking about are very rude. Even after I bend over to listen, they refuse to acknowledge my presence and start to speak to BOTH June and I. Thats the correct way mah hor? BUT NO! They choose to focus their beady desperate eyes on June and only speak to her, making me feel extremely embarrassed to try to listen to someone who is not interested to talk to me.

And then I hear the usual words from their mouths. I sensored away the flowery language. "beautiful yadda yadda tall yadda yadda looking for yadda models yadda advertisements yadda join us yadda yadda talents yadda come down for interview yadda my number"

June will say, "No thanks, we are late."

I tried to shout back to the interrupting people after we walk a few steps "Actually you heng, she is a transversite!", but I suppose June wun find it funny so I didn't do it.

But anyway, I forgot what I wanted to say.

Oh, that I am very irritated by these people. Some modelling agency called BMT (Obviously it is not this name but it is something like that) sends millions (and I mean like millions) of its "talent scouts" on Orchard Road to interrupt u when u are talking and make you forget what u wanna say and ask you to be a freaking model.

Whats the use of being a freaking model when you forgot what u wanted to say? I mean, obviously the latter is much more important.

Apparently this company is a big scam as they ask every Tom and hairy dick to be a model. Then Tom and Hairy Dick would have to take a portfolio first before being a model, and that will cost $4,000, thank you.

Or something like that. Personally, when I was walking alone I got approached, in a single day within a single stretch of road, THREE TIMES by BMT Models. How many times do they wanna ask, aiyoh! For goodness sake if they wanna send so many people to do the scouting, please invest a little and buy a inkpad and stamp.

Stamp on my forehead "ASKED AND REFUSED" in red ink. I dun mind looking silly. Just stop asking me to be your fucked up model. Fortunately, when I am with June people tend to look at her eyes when they speak, and obviously looking at that level they cannot see me at all. Good.

They dun even wanna make me start on What-is-it-about-Height-anyway-Theory. Thank goodness they dun bother me.
But for talking to June and interrupting me, they shld have some punishments.

I told June gravely today that I will give every multiple of five of such people who approach her a tight slap. Well maybe not a slap.

EG:

Me: Yadda yadda I am just talking as usual, my words dun mean much but whatever, you have to listen anyway. The weather is so terrific tod..

June: Grunt grunt

Me: Yeah lor she is such a bitch right I mean obviously she shouldn't p-

-interrupter no. 85-

BMT scout: Hi Miss (addressing June), I'm just wondering if u have a free minute?

June: Yeah?

BMT scout: Oh, miss you are really very pretty, you totally stand out from the crowd.

While June blushes I take out my Palmtop to add a tick to the 85th interrupter and realise, duh, that she is the 85th.

BMT scout: Yadda usual crap.

June: No sorry, I am not interested.

Me: What was I saying?

June: I forgot.

Me: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUCCCCCCK IT NOT AGAIN!

Me to BMT person: Oei you!

BMT scout: Yes?

Me: *takes out my 8910 and show her*

BMT scout: Erm, nice phone, so?

Me: Do u know that it is made out of titanium?

BMT scout: So?

Me: SOya bean. So it is hard. And do you know that you are the 85th to ask my friend over there to be a freaking model, from your company? I vowed to hit every multiple of 5. Now tell you colleagues not to bother her EVER again!

*Whacks the BMT scout hard in the forehead with the 8910. She faints and everyone looks at me in horror. I shout: She is a BMT scout! Everyone breathes in relief and comes over to shake my hand and pat me on the shoulder for getting rid of social pests. On the other side of the road another BMT scout gets lynched and everyone cheers*

*****

The end. How wonderous if everything works my way.

The world will be a better place if I control it.

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Fucking shit.

The day has come!

Read this:

Dear xiaxue,

Your ImageStation account has been deactivated. This is most typically because there is unacceptable content in your account or you have created links on other websites that directly connect to files stored in your account. Please review the albums and Storage Bin in your account for the following situations and make corrections within 24 hours after reactivating your account:

1) unacceptable materials blah blah

2) You have placed links in other websites, forums, or chat groups to files stored on ImageStation. While it is permitted and encouraged to link directly to albums stored on ImageStation it is not permitted to link directly to the individual picture and video files.

After reactivating your account, please remove all content that does not conform to the guidelines. We will review your account content 24
hours after you reactivate your account. All the images in your entire account will be deleted without further notice if any content does not
conform to our guidelines. You will not be able to retrieve your images after we delete them.

Holy shit! Now what do I do? I think I shall set up another imagestation account and do the same time till they manage to find out.

Tata... Lotsa work to do. Anyone linking my pictures please remove the links k?

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Thats right! Today I went to a place u possibly would not be able to go into for the rest of your life. Unless u work for the President of course. Thats the ISTANA!

So exciting right, Ritz Carlton had an Outdoor catering event at the above mentioned location and I begged and begged my manager to let me go there and he agreed! Actually it is not as beautiful as I thought it would be, but heck it, it is grand enough. Crystal chandeliers (did I spell this correct?) everywhere with white lights and high high ceilings. Exactly like what they show u in the movies.

U see, I love u guys. So I happily brought my camera into the Istana with me, hoping to possibly take a photo with Nathan and get his autograph or something, and show u all. Thoughtful ain't I? Nah, the security guard didn't think so. I hardly thinks he reads my blog.

We had to pass some metal detector so he asked me to take out every metal item and show him. I took out two hp pouchs and an 8310. He looked shocked and asked, "Woah, u got 3 phones ah! What is inside this two?"

I replied that I got two phones and one is a camera.

He frowned very hard and said that photo taking is not allowed in the Istana.

I told him that I wun take photos.

"Then u take camera here for what?"

Very good question. Got me stuck for a second.

"Oh, coz I dun have a locker at Ritz and I'm scared that people might steal my camera." I smiled sweetly. "I promise I wun take any pictures!"

He frowned again. "Oh okie okie lar. But dun take photo, or we will confiscate it."

$430 to be confiscated? No way! So no photos of humans except snapshots of boring buildings.

I walked through the metal detector again and it sounded. "Any metal objects on you?", the guard asked.

I showed him my belly ring. He looked like he thought it is very painful.

He thought mine was painful. Next in line was my Malay colleague with two lip piercings and a tongue piercing.

*****



This is a picture of the corridor of the ballroom. Actually, it is a badly taken photo coz it doesn't show anything particularly interesting and it is blur. So why I am a posting the picture?

BECAUSE IT IS ARTISTIC! It looks totally like one of those photo self-proclaimed photographers would claim as "an award winning artistic abstract photo". Hor hor u agree with me??!! I hate these self-proclaimed photographers. They keep taking bo liao blurry badly taken photos portraying nothing in particular and claim it looks damn nice.

I just think they waste my time. Usually, these kinda photos are displayed at the Esplanade or something with names like "Sunshine down my life" when the photo portrays an empty road with a ray of sunlight on it. Ahhhhh...Artistically enlightening, u say. Bullshit! I shall call my this bad photo "Iridescence across corridors" and thus give myself a convenience excuse for taking a badly taken photo.

Eg u say: "oei ur this photo is not interesting and blur leh!"

"It is artistic okie! U dunno one lar!"

"Where got artistic, stupid photo leh."

"U see, it is called Iridescence across Corridors for a reason! The lights symbolise the people who gave me hope when I was weak, and the 4 lights show my mum, my dad, my brother and my best friend.

The corridors leads down to a dark alley, symbolising that u will never know what is going to happen in life. And Corridors! Living life is like walking down a corridor, fill of turns and twists, and also u think u are alone, but u are not, as the Iridescence of the lights will always be with you. Artistic right?"

"Oh my god please excuse me while I concentrate on feeling my enlightenment. U are so god damn artistic!"

See? I just took an inspirational photo today.

Anyway, the main course set dinner (western) was COD FISH! THATS LIKE MY ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE FISH! While I was working I was drooling all over the food... And then Nathan wanted to talk or something and we had to stop service. So me and PY went to the kitchen. Guess what we found in the food heater.



It may look pretty revolting here but it IS VERY NICE! IT IS ORGASMIC! Totally yummy! We stole the extra leftover Cod fish from the kitchen and took 2 pieces each to go to the toilet to eat our fill.



Thats me having an orgasm.

It was a pity that there was no sauce though, as it was in a separate dish and we had to be quick in stealing. Later, when PY and I went out of the toilet looking suspiciously fat and contented, we got rather pissed off.

There we were stuffing ourselves in the toilet fast, and there the rest of the staff were, eating the full set (complete with creamy sauce, asparagus and other whatevers) ON THE TABLE, officially allowed by the managers. Haiz.. Nvm, we had our fill.

Thats is about Istana, nothing much interesting, except that the PY managed to get chummy with the security guard of Nathan or something and he said that Nathan's favourtie song is Bangawan solo. LOLz... I dunno whether that is true, but if it is, I find it very funny.

And yes, Nathan is very short.
*****

Guess what came in the mail today. You are right! It is something that will not interest you! But I still feel like posting the picture up.



It is the silver casing lar, not the whole PDA. Now my palmtop looks so much better without the old black casing! I am so glad! I bought the casing at $8 from Axegal (who reads my blog!) at yahoo auctions. Wonderful. Come tomorrow, I will do project with my classmates, and I will buy my Gucci wallet (fake one lar) from another Yahoo auctions seller together with June.

I am so happy happy happy!

-To get into my good books, guys, treat me to some good cod fish.-

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Yesterday the person who was in charge of the Hennessy job called me up to ask me to work today. I asked her what kinda place I had to go to. She said a KTV pub. I said, Hmmm, okie. She asked me to find another person to work with me, and Xf, upon hearing the pay, said she would like to give it a try.

The pay is 80 bucks for 3 hours.

Anyway I would like to explain some stuff. I am not a slut. I once worked for Tiger Beer and Guinness as their promoters and both were totally decent jobs. No touching by the guests. Just strictly beer pouring. So yeah I thought Hennessy was the same.

1 hour before I went to the KTV pub I asked the girl in charge whether the KTV has "girls" inside. She said "Yeah, why?"

Sleaze!

Xf was horrified. She refused to go to the pub initially. I told her we could leave if we wanted to, and she said that they would force us to stay inside. Well anyway I forgot to bring a black skirt for her and she had to wear her jeans to work.

And we arrived at the scary place.



It is not as bad as I thought actually. The guests were fine; they didn't try to molest us or anything but seemed to treat us like little girls instead. After half an hour of not really doing anything except pour some liquer, the manager called me up.

Turned out that the stupid supervisor of the pub told her that one of us (XF) wore jeans and slippers, and we did not do the job properly but slacked around. The second part is totally not true! In fact, within half an hour we sold 3 bottles of VSOP (betcha didn't know it means Very Superior Old Pale) each costing $250!

But anyway WE GOT SACKED! He told us we can leave! I am damn insulted. Here I am, wondering whether I, being afterall a person with slightly above average intelligence, shld lower myself to work such a sleazy job, and HE FIRED ME! THE NERVE! Can he find someone prettier than XF?? How dare he fire us! An undergrad working for him! Gosh...

So after half an hour of doing absolutely nothing much, we left the place and asked Ghimz the Giam to join us for some Mac and went home.

Upon reaching home, I was thinking: "Holy shit! I earned 25 bucks just like that (they paying us for one hour of work)! Thats equivalent to working at the Ritz from 6 till 11, which is much much more tiring. Here flick hair a bit can earn money so easily... Hmmm..."

Anyway I explained stuff to my manager so I think she would still ask me to work, but perhaps for a different outlet or something. Shld I continue? If the job scope only consists of pouring Hennessy and promoting it for 3 hours and I will not get touched, is it job to be ashamed off? But the pay is so good. Gimme some opinions.

I once received an email by someone placing a cam inside a KTV pub and publishing the pictures. It looks utimately terrible! The room had naked women doing blows for the men, and lusty old men playing with the hostresses' nipples while they sing, or hostresses doing handjobs. Very scandalous indeed.

However, nothing of that interesting sort happened at all. Perhaps it was a more decent pub. The worst thing I shall was a "Girl" sitting on a man's lap facing him, ala sex position.

Haiz... I want my T500...



If I dun work this job I can't buy it, and I would feel very pissed indeed.

Oh yeah I joined the Get spotted contest from Starhub, and sent a photoshopped picture into it! But my pic will not be up till a few days later, and u all muz vote for me k k? Must ah! Meanwhile, please sign up and vote every other person a ONE STAR coz they all look quite ugly, in my opinion.

Oh yeah I am aware this entry is neither funny nor interesting, but forgive me, I am tired. I also did up the FAQ page so can check it out.

Oh man I have a headache, gonna sleep now...

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