I'm gonna blog this all out before I forget anything.
This is like totally the first time I am feeling this way.
Jeremy worked with me today again, and I like him so much, that if he asks me to marry him right away, I would proceed to the church straight. Afterall my veil and dress is already on me, waiting for this day to come.
I have never felt like that about a guy before.
The first time I saw him, I was like "Oh my god dream guy material." And he is in a black turtleneck with stupid sequins on too. It says alot. Didnt have this kinda strong feelings for even Eddy.
And then I spoke to him.
"You look gay!"
"Yeah man stupid sequins! I look damn gay lar!" He looked at me seriously. "But I'm not gay." He did not know that I sent a silent prayer to god for that statement.
"Haha, I had this classmate who turned gay right before my eyes." And then I told him all about Androgenous Aaron, who is a convenient gay topic. We both forgot that we are supposed to be rivals.
From then onwards, it is continual monkey faces to me as customers look at his phone and ask him stupid questions.
He really makes me laugh.
During our little conversations between sales speechs, I got realy infatuated with him. He is so cute, and so smart! And mature as well, for a change.
I got more and more miserable with the thought that someone else is shagging him.
During lunch break, I asked him if he had a pic of his gf in his phone.
He said, "Currently got no girlfriend."
"WHAT??! You said you have what." Please imagine my face was broken into a very wide smile and at the same time looked surprised. So freaking obvious right.
"When did I say that?"
"When I asked you, 'What does you gf think about you looking so gay', you said 'ok'!"
"Oh, I thought you talking about just friends!"
"Oh!". I broke into merry laughter.
He looked at me quizzically.
"Oh! I'm so glad you are not attached!", I burst out stupidly.
"Oh, why leh?" Coz I am so in love with you, idiot!
"Oh, erm, so that I dun need to be scared she angry when I msg you all these la..."
"Oh, haha..."
I was so glad to have the sudden shock that he is single, that I felt totally nauseous (nauseous with happiness, can you imagine?!) and stopped eating my Hokkien mee.
"I dun wanna eat liao. You know what, Jeremy? I was just thinking... After knowing you are two days, I think that you are generally flawless. That cannot be the case, coz god is fair. So admit it, are you dying of a deadly disease soon, or do you have a very short dick?"
He laughed, paused for a while, and finally pointed at his cigarette box. He said simply, "I smoke."
Thats like a silly crippled ant in a big mirage. In other words, he is still quite flawless.
=) =) =) =) =)
Today one customer came along. A family of four, consisting of a boy who looked 17, an elder sis, and parents. The boy walked over and I approached him. He listened while I rambled on with my sales talk.
He kept quiet while his parents grunted in agreement when I say yet another good feature.
Finally, when his parents said, "Not bad ah boy. How, u like it?"
Please say yes and I will help you pray that u get 9 A1s for your Os.
The boy turned to me and asked, "Erm, can this phone receive all those nokia picture messages?"
"You mean the ones with the brackets that form into bears and stuff?"
"Yeah."
"Oh, I think it will be a little disrupted but can see la.. But nvm mah coz very soon everyone will be using colour phone where u can see a full screen lor."
The boy turned his mouth downwards and mumbled something.
"Huh?", I asked.
His mum said, "Oh, alot of his friends use nokia phones so this is very important to him."
"Oh but you see there are many other features mah."
"Nvm we will look around."
With that she whisked off her son (who seemingly had no opinion about any phone his parents buy him as look as it can see bear bear msgs), who presently got stopped by God Jeremy of course.
He showed the family a dimple (I thought I saw the mum smiling a little slyly, or is it my imagination?) and he gave them his phone. Presently, he was asked the same question as I was. Fortunately for him, he was eavesdropping on my sales speech so he knew the importance of bracket bear msgs.
He asked the boy to try to send a pic msg to the phone to see if it can receive properly.
While the family meddled with a bracket msg to forward, Jeremy looked over to me and groaned. We both found the particular criteria for choosing a phone very funny, and we burst out into a small laughter together. (friend of boy:"Wow your phone can WAP, MMS and can take picture!" Boy:"See my new forwarded cheesy msg? Cute ah?")
The bear msgs arrived.
And it was successful, bless the bracket bear.
Without further hesitation, the dad decided to buy a $528 camera phone with 65,000 colours for his son, when his son's only wish is to see cute bracket bears on the phone.
So they walked away to sit down at the Singtel counter to discuss the line to sign.
Jeremy stared at them for sometime while they sat there for quite long, still not buying the phone yet.
He turned to me, grimaced, and said dramatically, "Wah lau I tell you ah heng the bear bear turn out okie. If distorted ah, I tell you I will just *he did the finger cut throat action*."
"I see the bear?"
"Good night, cute cute, so cute....!"
Jeremy read out the silly bear msg in an act cute voice while I laughed heartily.
A few minutes later the family was still hesitating about the phone.
Jeremy turned to me and said, "Wah lau I cannot stand it already lar. Wait they come back, then tell me they want 2100 how?"
He pointed at the 2100 looking up at us innocently, when was below his shelf.
He looked at the family again, and got more nervous, and said, "Ah forget it la just buy the 2100 and save me the agony."
He proceeded to prance around while I laughed so much, I had to hide into the store room coz I looked like an idiot.
During the dinner break I pluckered up all my courage (and body temperature) to ask him to watch a movie with me after our work. And he agreed!
1.5 hours alone in the dark. Nothing happened of course.
I asked him if he is gonna get placed at Bugis again. He replied that it should be, and certainly he would hope that thats the case.
He mumbled a little about how he thinks the people here are nice, and then he looked at me shyly, smiled, and said, "And of course got you also la..."
I blushed a deep crimson (I didnt blush but I thought it is time for a cliche), heng Jeremy was looking determinedly straight ahead.
He made my day. And week. And century.
But I think I shall act a little hard to get from now on. Thats the way guys like it right? They dun like girls to do the chasing? Please gimme opinions!! I need male advice! Is 3 days not msging him sufficient? What should I do? Wait for him to msg me? But he is really shy... Urgh... I wish I could bloody control myself. Been smiling all the way from work to home and some ti co pek thought I smiled at him and sounded his horn loudly as I walked.
-I am so Jeremesmerised, I am dying soon.-
It is pissing ah, that I cannot blog for the last two days and I forgot whatever I wanted to blog about. I realised, however, that I have the memory span of a goldfish, which is 3 seconds. What did I just say?
So anyway, I shall blog about whatever I am reminded of to blog from the pics I took.
Yesterday in the lecture hall, June, no doubt being very very bored, decided to read our sub-standard school magazine, Attitude. We can see that she is very bored coz she read a magazine with such a cheesy name.
Suddenly she gave a large gasp and pointed out an article to me.
"What can be worthy of my attention in that magazine?" I thought to myself. This is what I saw what made June so wide-eyed.
Unless I am very much mistaken, the person Miss Diana Neo (the author and my lecture mate) wrote about is me.
Having the foggy memory I have, I do not remember whether I have been "chided" for using a derogatory term for blacks by Miss Neo (lets call her Nosy Neo) herself, but I clearly remember that someone did comment before that the word I used, which is "Negro", is very rude.
Must have been that incident then, except that in my memory it was Androgenous Aaron who scolded me and not Nosy Neo.
Well, I personally think that the person who claimed that "Negro" is derogatory is raving mad. I took Literature in sec school see, and I had plenty of books done on racism (Walkabout, To Kill a Mocking Bird etc). My Literature teacher, a person very much against racism, told us that it is rude to use the word "nigger" to describe blacks, but "negro" is perfectly fine.
If only people would stop acting so sensitive over such things just because it is a "sensitive" issue. It is thoroughly silly to scold ur schoolmate for:
1) A term she used which has no special meaning.
2) A term she used which has no special meaning, which the imagined insulted person did not hear at all.
3) A term she used which has no special meaning, no harm done, and nothing to do with you at all.
The word "negro" by itself done not contain any connotations in it except for the fact that it is discribing a certain race. If anyone feels that it means something rude, well, it is the person's own perception of the word, and thus, it is only the person who is being racist, not me.
So anyway, I confronted the Nosy Neo today after school to ask her if she was writing about me. She replied that she wasn't talking about me, but when I asked her who was she talking about, she clammed up and could not answer.
Furthermore, there was indeed a person leaving a comment to tell me what a bitch I am, blah blah, and ended the sentence with "I'll see you in school tml!". Must have been Nosy Neo I guess.
June and 3 other coursemates agreed that she sounded totally phoney when she denied that she was writing about me.
As if the whole article wasn't already written in a vindictive tone, Nosy Neo had to complete it with the above picture's words. (Think she has something against bloggers).
1) What the fuck is a bear world?
2) As I have mentioned before, naturally I have a life, coz MY BLOG IS ABOUT MY LIFE, and if I dun have a life, how am I gonna write the blog?
3) Just because I only live it once is not any reason for me not to waste it. I waste it in anyway I want, and it is none of your business, Nosy Neo!
Well, I'm quite pissed with Nosy Neo. Firstly, she came to spam my comments board with childish comments. Then she has a problem with my opinions, which does not concern her in the least bit. 3rdly, she is just plain disgusting when she told the big lie about the article being about another person. How cowardy.
It seems that Nosy Neo herself is not so popular! A few of her classmates I interviewed said she is v much disliked, and some mentioned that she has a problem with everybody.
Yup, I certainly agree with that.
Perhaps, Miss Nosy Neo as you read this, you would like to consider how interesting your life is before teaching others how to live theirs? Also, just because some people blog, it doesnt mean that they do not have a life. Blogging may take up some of my time, but no, I do not sprint home everyday just to blog. You are heavily deluded.
Clara's bf, Ivan, said that Nosy Neo is angry with me coz I am taller than her. I told Ivan patiently that almost everyone is taller than Nosy Neo. In fact, I think she is the shortest in our course. Ivan said that Neo is angry because if I had been a wee bit shorter, Neo would not have to be the shortest in the course.
Makes perfect sense to me! Perhaps thats what Miss Neo is so pissed about (since I have never spoke a word to her) to make her hate my blog so much.
While Ivan was laughing his head off I noticed something.
Ivan has HAIR ON HIS EARS!! To my surprise, the hair actually is grained upwards instead of downwards, which is what I expected.
He is not the only weirdo among my coursemates.
Idris' skin is highly stretchable! Thats Shuyin's fingers of course. The first picture a little disturbing ah... Sorry, I couldnt resist posting up the nipple pulling.
Today I was waiting in chamelon (accessories shop) with June while she chose rings to buy. Getting a little impatient, I started to bring all the red scrunchies in the shop to show her coz I told her she must buy one to match our Mitsubishi red uniform.
This is June's favourite red scrunchie, the furry one at the left:
June loves furry red scrunchies!!! Buy her one today! I accept PayPal!
-Nosy Neo the Nincompoo narrates numbskull nasty narrations-
I wanna blog about quite some stuff but no time; I go to go sleep soon, recently I'm very very deprived of it...
So I shall just write about what happened recently... As briefly as possible!
I hate squat toilets. ( I know this sentence does not link with the previous paragraph but what the.) The toilet at my house is a squat one, and I hated it so much that I forced my mum to install a fake toilet bowl over it, despite her mumbled grumbles about how when she was my age she was not so fussy.
There are many reasons why seat toilets rule.
1) Because your nose is further away from the shit.
2) Because urine will no longer spray on the floor and have you step on it unwittingly. Sure, males still spray urine on the seat, but since females wun, it is 50% less.
3) Because you can now sit on it to read while shitting, which is, I personally think, one of the biggest enjoyments in life.
4) Because sitting will relax your muscles while squatting makes you cramp up.
5) Because no longer will you wet your pants legs as seat toilets are usually drier.
6) Your hp is less likely to drop into the toilet if you keep it in ur back pocket.
7) Since your butt covers the hole in the toilet bowl, it would not be that smelly.
8) Because I say so.
Anyway, the fake toilet bowl I have at home predictably, feels fake. Unlike the strong ceremic feel most toilet bowls give, my toilet bowl can actually move around and it feels rather weird.
Thats why I like to use all the seat toilets I want outside of home.
Today at school, I entered the toilet with a slight stomachache. Plenty of time before next class, I thought.. Just nice for a good long shit.
But the problem is, the whole toilet has 3 squat toilets and only 1 seat toilet.
So I waited. And waited. After a good 25 minutes of my life wasted, I was beginning to feel pissed. I looked under the toilet door half expecting to find a couple shagging inside or something. Nope.. It was just a pair of normal shoes.
At the precise moment I decided I shall shout at her, she opened the door and came out. I scowled at her but she did not notice.
I finally got to sit on my toilet bowl!!! And being the typical Singaporean, I thought to myself: Well! I bloody waited for so long to use this toilet! I shall use it as long as I want too, to make the next person wait!
So I whistled and settle myself down with my palmtop and reread Goblet of Fire.
Just as Harry Potter got entered into the Triwizard Competition and things got exciting, an auntie knocked on my world rudely, bringing me back to the rather smelly muggle world I am in.
"Girl!", she shrilled, "Inside got toilet paper?"
"No.", I answered sullenly, ruffled that I got interrupted by such a silly question.
A few seconds later when Vikter Krum was scowling at Harry, the auntie asked me what I am doing inside, taking so long.
Now, thats the point of my whole toilet story. I THINK THAT PEOPLE SHLD NOT ASK WHAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE DOING INSIDE TOILETS AS IT IS A VERY PERSONAL QUESTION.
I did not feel like I was obligned to answer such an embarrassing question at all, and contemplated a little about telling her it is none of her business what people do inside toilets. I thought the better of it and factually told her "Shitting.", since she did ask in a polite voice afterall.
Shitting is fine. But what if I had been changing my menstrual pad? What if I was plucking my armpit hair? Should I have told her the truth?
Of course not. But yet, people dun see the point and they still keeping asking that question to people using the toilet. IT IS ULTIMATELY RUDE! Well, cubicle doors are there for a REASON.
The next time someone asks me what I am doing in a toilet, I would reply, "I am testing to see if I stayed here long enough you would ask me such a rude question."
*****
Today June and I went to collect our uniforms and phones for our new job promoting Mitsubishi hps...
Red adidas dress.
I can't believe I am supposed to wear sport shoes with them! It must have been years since I last wore flat shoes. The embarrassment of height is the sole (weak pun!) reason why I am not gonna say which Hello! shop I will be attached to.
Ah well... At least I got a free colour phone to use!
Yeah okie the wallpaper was just a test, dun gimme the revolted look.
It is not nice nia.. Looks like a peanut. I dun think I am supposed to show this to anyone (all 400 of you) since it is not officially launched yet but hack it lar...
So yeah, good night peeps! I will blog more after thursday, because I have to hand in a project but the said day and I will be so ultra busy.
Quite often I get comments like this:
Xiaxue you think you are very pretty meh? Please lar, look at urself in the mirror! What do you see? A PIG! Imagine a world without Revlon, without L`oreal! You will look like shit and you know it! Your pretty face currently is just a facade!
Well, to this I really got to argue it out.
To everyone with this view:
See, I dun deny that I was born ugly.
You dun usually discriminate ugly people because they are ugly, right? You dun look at someone on the streets, and say "FUCK IT! She is freaking ugly! Thats a crime!"
Coz it is plain unfair that you do that. Well, I am relatively ugly without make-up, I admit it.
Then we come to the make-up part.
Please understand. What if you are born ugly, BUT, you are blessed with a skill? A skill so valuable... And together with the skill are tools that are economically priced. With the two, you can make yourself look better in a jiffy. With the two, you can feel more confident of yourself, and make others view you in a better light as well. Miraculously, you can have the opposite sex's attention, without even doing plastic surgery on urself.
You are telling me you wun do it? I dun think so.
Most girls do not put make-up because they find it a hassle. Not only that, they do not have (or have not mastered) the skill to apply make-up properly, such that the end result is a much more beautiful self.
Well, I dun see what is wrong with being pretty only with make up? It is phoney, you exclaim. WRONG. Because you can SEE that I am having make-up on. Who am I cheating?
So according to the stupid logic about "being natural is being beautiful", should I keep my ugly face (when I have the absolute power to make it much better) and just be ugly, not doing anything about it?
Having a choice between being all natural but ugly, and made-up but beautiful, I choose the latter. There is nothing wrong with my decision at all. If you are feeling pissed that some people did not manage to see through the make-up and decided that I am a natural beauty, well, its their stupidity and there is nothing you can do about it.
I'm sure you urself have cheated people about ur looks in some way. Rebonding? Tooth whitening toothpaste? All these products make your looks phoney. You are actually much uglier, right?
I really feel like slapping guys when they say they prefer girls without make-up. IT IS A FREAKING STUPID THING TO SAY.
When is a woman most beautiful? On her wedding day my dears, and it is ALWAYS with make up.
You want your bride without make-up? Fine, let her strut around with that big pimple on her chin. Let other people see your wife looking tired and pale from all the preparations! No make-up! No phoney-ness! All natural!
Here we are, the gals, making an effort to make ourselves look prettier so that you men can bask in glory as you walk around with us holding your arm. And you men are complaining that we put too much make up. You all have the nerve to complain that we shld look beautiful without make-up, and not only look pretty when we have it on. So how if we just cannot manage to look good without make-up? Break with us lor, go find someone who looks good without make-up.
Bet she is with someone else who looks good without hair gel or whatever products you men use to beautify yourself. And he is, unfortunately for you, likely to have a dick size of 8 inches.
I understand, of coz, the dilemma of men. Some women just CMI with make up, coz they apply it wrongly. Perhaps too much, or perhaps it makes them look like they are going for a wayang show. In these situations, the men can complain about make-up, of course. I am not that unreasonable.
I just cannot stand the stupid comment about "natural is beauty". To stand true to your theory, do not brush your teeth from now on. Do not shave, or colour your hair. Do not even delibrately train your muscles. For girls, do not pluck your eyebrows or armpit hair. There you go, all natural, like you just stepped outta blue lagoon. It is my guess, however, that you wun look the least bit like Blooke Shields.
All natural? I wonder if we would still like our celebrities if they looked like this:
Ha!
Well, came as a horrible shock right? Our own Wong lilin... One day, I was in irc chatting with some male friends. I happened to ask them which Singaporean actress is prettiest, and a lot said Wong Lilin. I went to Yahoo to search for her pic, and a stupid fan or hers (I suppose he is deluded) captioned the photos I found as "Very very pretty!".
What can I say? Different people have different tastes. Plastic surgery on the eyelids anyway, in case you men didnt notice.
Alright I am not a celebrity but still...
In conclusion, I am not pretty naturally without make-up. The latter has aided me in my looks. So? I dun deny it, and I am not cheating anyone. And so what if I am ugly??
Theres nothing wrong with being ugly at all, so scold me all you want. You just sound superficial and idiotic.
(In case you are thinking: If you said there is nothing wrong with being ugly, then why are you bothering to put on make-up to look better? Well, my answer is that I feel more confident about myself when I look better, and things go smoother. There is no fault to being ugly, but it is undeniable that there are advantages to being good-looking, which is why everyone is trying to look better, except Tibetian monks.)
-It is not a crime to prance around pretty with make up. It is a crime to let urself remain ugly when u can make yourself look better.-
*****
Speaking of the type of guys who say "Natural is beautiful", we have come to a similar type of guys. Yes, it is the type that says "Simplicity is beauty".
In my opinion, both speakers deserve a good tight slap.
See, I once heard a guy friend of mine tell me: "The kinda girl I like right, is pretty, and look sweet. She must look like she is stupid stupid like that, but actually she is very smart."
I almost exploded. I screamed: WHY MUST SHE LOOK STUPID? WHY CANNOT LOOK CLEVER?
He was dumbfounded.
Men! Seriously. I have no idea why why why on earth they want their gfs to look dumb. There is only one reason of course, which is to feed their own bloody ego. They are scared that the gf looks superior standing next to them. Well, if they cannot accept the fact that their gf has something close to a brain and look like they can recite the alphabet, they can jolly well date a date (the red kind we boil soup with).
It is a fact. Females are equal to males brains-wise, and instead of being ashamed of a gf smarter than they are, guys should learn to feel proud that such smart girls chose to be with them. What century liao, for goodness sake.
Which is, I guess, why shu nus are so damn popular. Because they are dumb.
Someone told me that he thinks that he wouldn't mind having Mo Jing Jing as a gf. For those of you who dun watch Holland Village on Channel 8, Mo Jingjing is a semi retarded girl.
I almost died. She speaks 3 words a minute. The said fren claimed that she is good what, very pure and innocent, unlike many girls in our society now, so slutty and bitchy. (Somehow I suspect this is how paedophiles think too.) The above sentence makes sense as well... But should be girls succumb to these guys expectations and from now on be quiet and unopinionated too?
No.
I won't change myself just to fit these selfish guys. They can jolly well date semi-retards and have the time of their lifes talking about nothing deeper than the weather to these females. I dun mind. I will wait for a truely intelligent guy who can appreciate females with some opinions of their own, and is not threatened by my achievements, but supportive.
There was this other time another guy friend shrieked when he saw Jaime Teo on TV.
He practically worshipped the telly for having flashed her face for 2 seconds.
I frowned, told myself to calm down, and said quietly, "She pretty meh?"
He said, still dreamy-eyed, "Yes, very very pretty. The best of Mediacorp so far."
I was stunned. I couldn't help myself as indignant words came out of my mouth.
"SIAO! She look so normal! So common! NUS girl face, go to NUS can find a few hundred like her face liao, whats so special? Normal eyes, normal nose, normal lips... Nothing what! She look so common and simple!"
He stared at me (giving me the exsperated face so many guys like to give me when I insult Jolin/Wong lilin/etc), and asked slowly,
"Thats where you are wrong, yanyan. The beauty of her, lies in her simplicity."
"Oh really?", I told him.
"Go date an amoeba then. Can't get simplier than that."
-We girls solemnly swear to get rid of stupid MCPs one fine day.- Read The Full Article
Hiyah, dun see the point of writing in my new url when spammers actually bothered to email me to get my address. If you spammers want to spam, please go ahead, I will be ignoring it from now one. Can see just how extremely bo liao some people are; must be a cross between an iguana and a leech.
In case you people are thinking iguanas and leeches are can hardly fit into the description of "bo liao", well, its just a chance to show the immerse amount of animals at my place now.
Alright, my dad is weird, I admit it. Of course, as a kid I have never interacted much with other people's dads (except uncles, none of which I am especially close to) so I thought my dad was normal.
See, the weird thing about him is: HE DOESNT WATCH SOCCER.
He does understand the big deal about it at all. Thats weird isn't it? Ask I grew older I realised MOST guys like football. Even my 80 yr old grandpa watches football while my dad stares uninterested at the TV screen wearing the expression that in his opinion soccer shld last 30 secs. One would find him gazing lovingly at the boring angelfish in the tank five mins later.
Weird. Both fish and soccer joined up makes the most boring thing on earth. Oh wait, I suppose thats either using fish as a soccer ball, or fish playing soccer. Seems to me that combined it is better, hmmm... Soccer is more interesting in the sense that you can at least bet some money on it and win, but fish!
Digressing, I have something against fish. I think they make horrible pets. I have absolutely NO IDEA why some guys my age (peh pehs still understandable) have such a big interest in luo hans.
June's bf, for one, is mesmerised with luo hans. XF's bf too. And the poor dears, coz I heard from June that Benjamin brought her to a luo han exhibition once. Actually, I only have a vague impression he did that, but heck it, I'm sure he is planning one excursion like that soon.
A date to the neighbouring luo han store!
IF ANY GUY DARES TO BRING ME TO A LUO HAN EXHIBITION, I WILL MAKE SURE I SLAP HIM WITH A USED BANQUET STOCKING.
Whats so fun about looking at dumb, greedy and ugly creatures swimming around senselessly? At least get a dog, and he recognises his owners and is nice to hug when you are down. BUT A FISH! What good can it do?
Nowadays I go to people's houses to expecting to see luo hans, and while (usually we will see this scenerio) the father of the place is either cleaning or glazing lovingly at his fish, I feel obligned to go and take look (well the father will give a "Come look at my enormous and colourful luo han" face) and as much as I hate to do it, praise the fish.
There are plenty of people out there more deserving praise than the stupid luo han. I dun feel like giving it to him at all. At least if I told Saddam Hussein (is he still alive?) that he is handsome, maybe he would nod sagely in agreement and stuff 20 rupiahs into my palm. But the luo han! I am sure it is not appreciative of my praise at all.
Idris' (Dun know who? Check character intro please) dad has a nice luo han. In fact, two nice luo hans. Oh wait the last time I heard that fish has laid eggs. So perhaps many many luo hans now. Idris' place is infested with fish.
True, that luo han looks plenty terrific compared to the rest of its species I have seen. Big and colourful. Yet, nobody seems to understand that no matter how colourful and big and convexed its forehead is, it is still a very ugly fish.
I assume that the love for luo hans is because of the media and its bullshit about luo hans having a magical ability to predict 4D numbers. Utter nonsense. I say that if u stared at my middle finger long enough, you would be able to see 4 magic numbers too, but thats because after staring too long you start to hallucinate. Perhaps then, if we hallucinate we will be able to have a glimpse into the future?
I predict that with the economy downfall and everyone's mad scramble to try to strike lottery, we will have the following situations happening:
Husband: *Whistles as he walks into the house*
Wife: Honey, you are home!
Husband: Yes darling, and look what this is!
Wife: Oh. (Tone of voice becomes flat) Another luo han. It is getting ridiculous, George! This is the 67th we have!
Husband, dreamy-eyed: So big, so colourful, the forehead so kok!
Wife: I have to wash the dishes.
-A few hours later, husband still gazing adoringly at new aquisition, now swimming non-chalently in the tank-
Wife: Would you like to have sex?
Husband: Later... I think I see 3 numbers already!
Wife: Oh fuck it, George! Look at me please!
Husband: *Turns and sees wife naked holding handcuffs* Later okie? I really need to see this.
Wife: I... *puts a vicious hand into the tank* HAD... *Grabs the new fish* ENOUGH.....! *Violently takes the fish by the tail and slams it repeatedly on the edge of the dinner table*
Husband: Wooh. So angry for what! Have sex have sex lar. Ok ok? Dun angry! *Starts to take off his boxers*
Wife: YOU MEN! YOU ALL NEVER EVER UNDERSTAND! IT IS NOT SEX I WANT, IT IS ATTENTION!
Husband: Huh then what u want me to do? You say want sex then now I give to you liao you still angry for what!
Wife: Sex? No, I dun think so. FUCK THIS OKIE! *With the end of the sentence, the wife takes the still gasping unfortunate new luo han and puts the husband dick into the luo han's slippery mouth.*
Husband: Oh holy shit! Feels good!
*****
Enough about ornamental fish. Seriously speaking no one gives a shit about them.
Back to my weird dad. He doesnt even like luo hans! He likes nature remember? So he still likes fishes, but only ugly ones (not that luo hans are beautiful of course) he caught in reserviours and stuff.
When I was younger, I recently received phrases like this at home when my dad is watching TV: "Girl, come and see this caterpillar! See the colours! Got fake eyes somemore!"
I had to stop whatever I was doing and see it, and tell my dad politely that it is indeed amazing that the caterpillar has such colours and fake eyes, and then continue doing whatever I was doing before he asked me to go over.
Thank goodness earthvisions have quite stopped showing on normal TV (We dun have cable), and also thank goodness for my younger brother. He is now the official one my dad can share his unique excitement with. I tried, I really did, to suppress sniggers as he has to put down his gameboy impatiently to take a look at flying squirrels or shagging baboons.
Thats not the point of course. The point is the obscene amount of creatures my dad brought back whenever he goes out with my brother. I dislike them more and more nowadays.
Now, iguanas are illegal I think, but this fella is gonna be given to a friend soon (and was given by a friend as well) , so dun even think of trying to get me arrested for this. We have named him Iguana after long thinking. Cloudy (my only "normal" pet, a dog, which was given by my mum's friend) loves Iguana. In fact, Cloudy is a very good natured dog. He loves everything, only when he can eat them.
I dun think Iguana likes Cloudy though, that selfish cold blooded thing. Well, I guess its a little hard for him to appreciate that something 10 times his size is cute, furry and huggable.
Heres a pic of Iguana sleeping. He is sleeping behind me as I blog. Betcha have never seen a sleeping iguana before.
I have no idea where my dad and bro went to recently, for they brought this back:
A real life leech, which, without sucking any blood, has survived almost 2 weeks. Very gross indeed. But I tried and it is quite fun to poke it a bit with a twig you know. It can crawl quite fast.
Among the creatures they brought back recently are caterpillars as well. Very disgusting ugly caterpillars. All 5 of them.
My brother has this habit of taking the bottle containing them around me when I am eating. Very stupid of him. I am not afraid of caterpillars, but I dun like the idea of them close to my food. I would shriek, and my bro will get a few smacks on his arm for being so tactless.
In case you are wondering why I didnt take pictures of the caterpillars: A few weeks after they came in, they turned into pupas and then into ugly black butterflies. My brother was very happy about this; he seems to think that it is his credit for making the caterpillars turn into "beautiful" butterflies.
I told him that it is their nature to do the life cycle thingy and nothing for him to smirk about. If anything, he has, despite the chance given to him to kill off the pests, given the cretins wings. How smart. Now they can attack me while I am in the bathroom again.
Well, my dad, satified that he has given my bro a chance to actually witness what his textbooks showed, put the load of butterflies into Iguana's cage. They seem to have gone by the next day; it is nobody's guess that Iguana is bored with his usual diet of cabbages.
*****
As a post script, I would like to mention that today, I saw a cute guy at Cheers.
He bought some drinks, and queued up. I stood behind him, secretly willing him to take a look at me. Yes, maybe even ask for my number if he had the acquired taste people lack nowadays for appreciating girls like me.
He smiled at the salegirl and she smiled dreamily back.
And he took a pack of Durex Together.
Me and the salesgirl exchanged disgusted looks.
Suddenly, that cute guy has the attractiveness of a used facial blotter.
I was still irritated when I walked out of the shop. At least, I thought to myself, his gf would have to use Together. Together is cheap and well, cheap, in all senses. I personally perfer the Strawberry flavoured, thank you.
-We girls hate Durex Together. Strawberry, ribbed, multi-flavoured, anything is better.-
I'm really really sick of people telling me how much of a bloody bimbo/slut/whore/ass/bitch I am.
TO ALL THESE PEOPLE:
Fuck you all.
Yeah I am a bimbo, SO? Big fat hairy deal. You dun like it, dun read my blog. No one is holding a knife near ur throat. Perhaps u guys shld reflect a little about how bo liao u are, leaving comments just to tell me "you are disgusting, arrogent blah blah" when obviously u know that I dun give a shit about what u think anyway.
Why am I responding if I dun care? Well, the comments are an eyesore.
I'm totally sick of all these childish people, and you guys are abusing my comments system.
My blog was never meant for u all, and if u only have bad things to say, keep it to urself coz no one else is interested. My blog belongs to me, and I have every right to write anything I want, no matter how "bimbo" or arrogent it is.
My blog is, however, welcome to anyone who wants to read it coz they find it interesting or entertaining.
For the last time I say this: NO ONE IS FORCING YOU TO READ MY BLOG, SO IF U DUN LIKE IT, DUN READ IT. If u feel just like reading something to make urself irritated, there must be something wrong with you. So what if I sound like a bimbo? So what if I am too full of myself? It is none of your business since u do not know me at all.
In my opinion, you all are just jealous. I dun care if u are not jealous. I am just saying it to accuse u anyway. If my blog is such a bad thing, explain the 400 or so readers a day.
Can u write and let so many people want to read what u write?
Is 'bimbotic' writing going to earn me the readers, or are u, the anti-xiaxue person, going to argue that the 400 or so people are all deluded when they read my blog frequently? Are u saying that the rest read it to feel irritated and disgusted, like urself? I think not.
Are the 90% of people giving me praise all wrong about what they think and the 10% correct? I think not too. Unfortunately, these 10% of people are obnoxious and they want to complain. Well, people tend to be more stingy with compliments than praises. The 10% of people are typically like this:
1) Cynical
2) Losers themselves
3) Bitter
4) Needs an outlet for frustration as nobody wants to listen to them in real life
5) Plain jealous
6) Wants to be special. They will dislike everything that alot of people like.
Well. Truth is that lots more people LIKE my blog than DISLIKE it. For every bad comment that u write, I have 10 good comments to counter it. More than enough to prove u are wrong.
For every single time u insult me, 10 people are insulting u behind ur back. They may not be telling u of course, simply because they can't be bothered with u enough to write it down, and also because they are much more civilised people. But trust me, they are doing that.
Well, I had enough of trash like that.
For the next week or so, I shall blog with a different address. Hopefully, this action will aid me in getting rid of the unwanted trash reading my blog.
It is really getting too publisized. Tell a person "Hey, this is quite an interesting blog u know, this girl has a lot of readers" and the person will possibly reply, "NO BIG DEAL WHAT!", after reading.
And then the person will read the comments my readers give and feel pissed that everyone is making a big fuss out of a mediocre website. The truth is, my blog is not as bad as u think it is. It is, afterall, just a mediocre website. And you shld do what u do when u see a mediocure website. Which is to close the page, and continue surfing other websites.
No need to get so angry over me, who is someone who is not in ur life at all.
Oh yeah back to the address. Everyone who wants to continue reading my blog in peace, please send me an email to yycheng84@yahoo.com.sg requesting the new site address. Very sick of these stupid people. Put ur RE as: "Request for site address", and I will definitely reply alright?
I'm sorry for the inconvenience caused to my usual readers. Its not my fault, but those stupid people's. Please curse them.
And oh yeah. You anti-xiaxue bastards dun even think of acting smart and searching yahoo for the address. I will NOT include the word Xiaxue in it.
Good riddence to the assholes.
-See the rest of u all in 2 weeks or so, if u can't be bothered to send me an email-
Absolutely tired, tml still must go school at 9 am...
Today my manager gave me a chance at serving the VIP table, but it was not in the midst of a busy wedding dinner. Instead, it was a twelve person lunch where there was this cute (as in looks old, and pruny) minster called I.D. Swami (Damn cute ah the name) with eleven other boring old men who talked about Singapore's politics. Not anything interesting, mind you. Just talking about stuff a commoner like me wun understand.
Anyway, I would like to proclaim that lotsa Ritz Carlton's stuff dun like me. I certainly did not delibrately offend them in any way but I guess, ah well... At least the Chinese staff dun like me. The Malays seem to be okie with me.
Must be something wrong with me, recently alot of this kinda "I hate Wendy" things pop up... Am I really that bad?
From today onwards, I shall try to smile and laugh more, talk less, and talk bad about people less. That can't go wrong, can it? Also I shall stop my sexual jokes coz lotsa girls seem to take offence, wtf. Oh yeah. WTF reminds me. No more vulgar language too as some people take offence as well. Yikes, can't please the world.
I worked on Friday, Saturday and today, and the last two days weren't that bad. On Friday PY told me that some people dun like me (they actually stupidly thought PY was on their side and gossiped about me with her there. How atrocious. I have been her friend for 7 years and what makes them think they can bowl her over within a month?!).
On Friday they really treated me quite badly. As in, conversations stopped short when I arrive etc. PY overheard this guy (CK, who is the VIP server), say that he would make things difficult for me on Sunday when I work. He proclaimed that he would show me that being the VIP server is not an easy thing and he is relatively sure I cannot make the cut.
Slap his bloody face. I have been the VIP server at other hotels, what makes him think I cannot do stupid Ritz? On the other hand, he is SUPER nice to XF. Bloody hell.
It is the work of this terrific bitch that everyone loathes me. She happens to be a coursemate of mine, and although I have never even as much as breathed a word to her in school, she seems to have taken this immerse dislike to me and begin to talk bad about me to all the Ritz staff. Can't help it that they believed her though, she worked much longer than me.
On Sat people seemed to have come to their senses. They actually asked me out to supper.
On Sunday, it was pretty obvious at first that CK was trying to make things difficult for me.
He refused to answer me when I asked him where things were kept.
I acted all pure shu nu.
I asked in 0.0025 decibels and waited patiently with big eyes for him to give his reply. You see, nobody bullies shu nus except me. He had no choice but to give in and answer me finally.
I acted as if I dun know anything and as if he is a total expert in banqueting (actually I really dunno alot of stuff, afterall I am quite new to the hotel). Asked him questions and replied, "Oh, yeah hor... Why I never think of it ah..." to his answers.
Wonderful.
Soon he begin to like to attention and "adoration" and became quite nice to me afterall. And thats an achievement; he rarely ever smiles at everyone.
I guess it really pays to be humble and stupid.
Oh yes I know that this entry is stupid and boring but it is just here to remind myself to be less cocky in future.
P/s: No one is allowed to say anything that holds the meaning of "I told you so", or along the lines of "You shld have realised this long ago, arrogent bitch!". Yes I know already. All these kinda msgs will be deleted with NO MERCY!
