How fucking irritating. Blogger decided to fuck up and refuse to publish my entries for days.

On the other hand, I have found out how to do it.

It will be to go to templates, in which your template will be completely gone but thank goodness I have it saved in notepad, and then publish the "new" template.

The posts will be published as well.

Thats like very troublesome everytime I want to post something.

And anyway, I shall not blog till tml night coz tml I would have to hand in 2 school projects *gasp* which I haven even started on doing. So yeah.

Tml night. I promise.

-My readers are diminishing as blogger continues to fuck up-

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I have decided that Jeremy doesnt like me. I am so sad. And the weather is too freaking good for me to blog. Plus I am sad, remember?

No blogging tonight. I hate everyone. Absolutely everyone.

I hate Jeremy the most.

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I just came back from Zouk and now my hair TOTALLY smells of cigarettes.

If I wash it, it will not have time to dry and allow me to tie my usual buns to sleep, so by tomorrow my hair will be HIDEOUS.

Yet, if I dun wash it, Jeremy might smell the cigarette smell on my hair tomorrow and might get so disgusted.

Feeling very torn, I did something very stupid. I half-washed my hair. This has the effect of not getting ridding of the cigarette smell, and also spoiling whatever curls there are already.

Wonderful. Just when I am meeting the guy of my dreams tomorrow.

Anyway, everyone at Zouk looked so cute. Ya know why? Because, like the Xelibre (I dunno how to spell) ad, everyone there had Jeremy's face. Imagine that. I cannot think of anything but him! Meanwhile, he doesnt seem to give a shit about me. Okie can't say that since he did msg me himself today.

For people who are confused about the God entry... Yeah well it is just a stupid story I suddenly thought of while shitting, so I wrote it down. Since my feeble attempt at fiction is so unfruitful and unliked, I guess I shall not continue the story to bore you guys.

Or perhaps I will, if someone tells me s/he wants me to. =)

Oh I'm quite sad I failed at writing fiction.

-No guy talked to me today except a freaking gay. Goodness knows why.-

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If we place a metal pole directly at the top of Bill Gate's house and we extent the metal pole to the far reachs of the clouds, it would hit a particularly grouchy god right on his butt.

This god's name is Sir Barnabas Keanu Fabian Gates, and he was, no doubt, an American.

100 years ago Sir Gates was promoted as a deity, or god, or whatever you people with religion liked to call heavenly beings with big powers.

Let me explain.

In the skies were the heavens. The heavens are not very far up actually, and if you flew on a boeing 747 and decided to keep flying upwards till your machine ran outta petrol, you would have reached it. There, is a land which is remarkably like the land of Mordor.

No, I'm kidding. It is not filled with smelly orcs. In fact, it is totally like whatever you imagined heaven to look like, complete with the chubby angels playing the harp. When you turned a corner, you would see young Japanese girls walking around naked. Thats how heaven looks like too, to some people I know.

When your boeing hits heaven, theres only one problem. Now, boeings are always made to have its tank emptied at the precise point where you hit heaven (the Aircraft God made sure of this). Of course, certain things on planet Earth are meant to be made for certain reasons, but we get to the silly issue of free will once again, and I am not one for quarreling.

Of course, the problem the boeing would face is that it would not have petrol to go down again.

Now, to some people, this is fine by them. They would like to stay put in heaven and play the harp all day long.

Unfortunately, recently the residents of heaven are very much into Warcraft III: Frozen Throne, and when your boeing suddenly hits heaven, you would most possibly interrupt an immersely boring game. Never mind it is immersely boring; the point is that the angels do not like being intruded this way.

In fact, visitors are to fly in from directly above Afghanistan, but no one would bother to fly there, and thus no one ever sees the arrows too.

The angels would take your boeing to throw down to any war area and no one will notice any extra planes anyway. After they are finished with it, they will hold you by your collar, and take you to the Screening God.

The Screening God is one of the most important Gods as he is blessed with the power to see who is worthy of becoming a god, an angel, or thrown back down to earth.

It is everyone's suspect that the Screening God is just a lusty bisexual old fool as the only criteria he uses to choose people is by their looks. The other gods and angels don't really mind, as long as heaven still looks like a setting for Temptation Island.

So, if you look like an barmy old fool, the Screening God will look at you disdainfully while you shiver; drowning in, yet afraid of his immerse beauty and dominance.

He would hold you up, one hand on your collar, the other grasping your pant's bottom, and with 3 heaves, throw you back down to Earth. With this he summons the Lightning and Thunder God (who everyone suspects is the Screening God's lover) and some lightning will shoot you to death, for you cannot reveal the secrets of heaven to anyone.

If you are good looking, the Screening God might make you an angel and you will work for some other god.

There are many many gods up on heaven, and the most recent count is 4,301. They are in charge of many many things that are going on on Earth, and here is Heaven's corporate mission:

"We work together to ensure that Earth is spinning well and that no Earthlings will ever find out about our corporation"

One day, 100 years ago, the Justice God (who is an extremely important God as well since he settles all fights and is blessed with the ability to split himself up to settle up to 739,192,485 fights at one single time) came hand in hand with the Beauty God to look for the Screening God.

When they arrived the Screening God was just looking at a bunch of grapes. Located at the the Lightning and Thunder God's naked belly.

The L&T god hastily replaced his clothes.

"Yes, my fair Justice and Beauty?", boomed the Screening God.

"We are not happy!", squeaked the very very beautiful Goddess of beauty as she pouted her full lips and fluttered her long long eyelashes shut silkily.

"Yes, my lord," Justice piped in. "I personally feel that you should not discriminate against ugly people. I would like to mention that I personally would have approved of Einstein to have been made Science God, and a whole load of good he would have done too. Yet, you kicked him off to get reincarnated as a stray maltese just because you thought his hair looked like one of those earth dogs."

"Yes yes!", came the Screening God's deep laughter. "Funny isn't it? Oh Einstein was a queer fellow alright. Yes, indeed, I disapprove of his wiry hair. That man should get a comb. But isn't Elvis doing fine as a Science God?"

The Justice God frowned. "No. Science have not improved much since. And Presley is so uninterested in his job, he dozes off half the time. The Disease Goddess personally gave him the formula for beating SARS so as to get the silly Earthlings a little more united, yet he forgot about it. And now, SARS is all over the place and everyone on Earth is cursing dear old Marilyn Monroe for conjuring the disease in the first place."

"Hmmm..." The Screening God knitted his brows together.

"And I am so sick of everyone looking just slightly uglier than me! Some even say that Sex God is lovelier than me, I really wonder what she did to deserve that! I am supposed to be the most beautiful here!" The Beauty God burst into hysterical tears.

"Oh alright alright! But my visions were never wrong in choosing..." the Screening God begin.

"Bullshit!" Justice exclaimed. "There ain't no vision. We all know your secret my dear, but we respect you as you have been here for such a long long time."

"I CHOOSE WHOEVER I WANT!" thundered the Screening God. The L&G God smiled approvingly at the thunderous voice.

"Well, then we choose to leave." Justice grabbed the pulchritudinous (but sobbing) Beauty God and turned his heel to leave, his scales ringing angrily after him.

"No! Don't! You know that Earth cannot do without Justice and Beauty!"

"Then hire ugly, but useful people."

"But I cannot just fire people away! They have all signed a lifelong contract! And everyone here is immortal!"

"Alright then for the next God created, hire a useful God and hardworking workers for him."

"But there is no need for another new God. We have got basically everything covered."

Suddenly, this scene was interrupted by a messenger angel from Earth.

"Oh gosh, whats with the pants that looks like trumpets!" the Beauty God shrieked. She is very particular about clothes.

"Erm, my ladyship, it is what I have to wear to look human. Besides, I personally find it very sexy. The humans are all into bellbottomed pants!"

He proceeded to perform a queer dance step which involved him sticking out his index and thumb and pointing his index from his belt, to the air and looking very smug indeed.

"NO MENTIONING SEX TO ME!"

The messenger stopped dancing immediately.

Justice God whispered into the shocked messenger angel's ear that the Beauty God just had a quarrel with the Sex God.

"I'm truly sorry my ladyship," (with a wave of his hands he is wearing white robes again, and the Beauty God smirked), "but I have news my Lord,". He was addressing the Screening God, who was busy playing with L&T God's little toe and shockingly enough, was giggling.

"Ahem!" Justice, Beauty and Messenger said together.

"What!" the Screening God felt intruded.

"The humans have discovered computers!!!"

"How?!"

"I think, please pardon me my lord, that the lightning did not manage to kill a particular human and he told someone else about how we have computers and then he died. The other person started to invent computers from there, and today succeeded in making a machine which cannot even play puzzle bobble yet."

The Screening God shoot a vicious look at the L&T God, who did not look the least bit guilty but instead begin to check out Beauty God's nipples, which could be clearly seen underneath her sheer white robes.

"Thats not too bad," said Justice. "Messenger Tan, you think that they would improve on their designs and make their computers part of their lives?"

"Yes," Tan replied, "But it will not be so soon."

"There will be a need for a Computer God," said Justice wisely.

-TO BE CONTINUED-

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Yesterday I was a very happy girl.


(Thats the result of food leftover at cafe cartel which I went to with Shuyin and Idris yesterday, who, I would like to mention, kindly accompanied me while I had to wait for the MP3 seller to be free. Oh btw, nobody likes glazed cherries. They should have remained in their original form.)

In fact, there were a few reasons why I did not blog yesterday at all.

Firstly, I was so filled to the brim with joy, I'm afraid that if my fingertips touched the keyboard I would just burst. If I burst, I would imagine several people to be very upset, including my maid who would have to clean up the mess.

Secondly, it would be the reason why I am so happy, and thats because (if you were in my irc channel you would have known) I talked to Jeremy for around 3 hours on the phone. The end result is that by the time we finished, it was 2:30 and a tad too late to blog. Besides, I was in this misty mood so I doubt I can manage to string object, subject and noun together to form a proper sentence.

The reason why I managed to pucker up my courage to call him, is thanks to this idiot.

Someone tried to act as if he was Jeremy on my tagboard, claiming that Jeremy (lets call him Jem for short) had just seen my site. Horrified, I took up a nervous finger and dialed his number wrong twice.

When I finally got through, I accused, "You saw my site ah!"

Jem went "Huh?"

I sighed with relief and we just continued talking, till he told me he would call me on his house phone and we continued yakking for 3 hours.

Very sadly, I have no impression of what we talked about at all. I have Dory memory! Or perhaps it has to do with the fact that I was orgasmic half the time.

I realised something very good, which is that I have always thought Jem was considered, by universal standards, cute. But that does not seem to be the case.

After proudly showing his pic to everyone I can show, my mum commented that Jem looks like a 95.8 DJ, Billy, who is a disgusting faggot.

Shuyin said that in several angles Jem resembles, most unfortunately, a monkey.

Plus a whole lot of people said he looks gay (which equates to cute actually since most gays are darn cute) and some say he looks like an Ah beng.

In my opinion, this is wonderful. If only every girl thinks he is gay/monkey-like/bengish, I would have far less competition and Jem would not think that he is damn cute so he would not mind his gf being less cute, or short for that matter.

I still insist that Jem has good genes. Afterall, he is tall (around 1.8 is my guess), rather fit, smart (Cat high, SIM), has a beauty queen as a sister (yes she won both Miss SP and some other competition and is now a famous model), and is flawless to the point that he even has perfect eyesight.

Lets see. I'm short, rather flabby, smarter than average, has an artist for a dad, and I have perfect eyesight too.

Wonderful. Together, our kids will be average height, average flabbiness, relatively smart and corny, would be glamourous and artistic, have perfect eyesight, and look like Ann Poh and Billy mixed (how fucking horrid)

Anyway. I'm sure everyone is so freaking sick of Jeremy and more Jeremy.

Just one more point.



So. I bought my MP3 player yesterday too!!!



This is a Nomad II mg, and I was supposed to buy it from an auction fellow at $200. Yes yes, I like it cos it is pink. Anyway, I told the fellow that I would not have the cash until 2 weeks later, which is yesterday.

So yesterday he messaged me, and I told him I dun have the money.

He angrily said I played him out, after making him wait for 2 weeks.

"I only have 150 with me, not that I wanna play you out..."

"okok I sell you at final price of 160. Meet you tomorrow can?"

So, I got it at $40 cheaper!! Muahahahha!!

Oh yeah a happy belated birthday Singapore!

If you hate Singapore, I got a good deal for you.



Now you can officially step on Singapore everyday with filthy feet, and the insult is complete with the deformed stars too.

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After one fine day of dwelling on nothing but Jeremy, I think I am going mad.

True enough, I had found the guy who gave me enough chemistry to make me think he is THE ONE (Pun about Jay Chou's concert not intended).

Whats the catch?

That he doesnt like me of course.

And with good reasons too.
(I'm really sorry you people have to listen to this mush.)

1) I am so goddam bloody short. Despite my plenty of self-assurance (more like deceive) that height is not important at all, it IS. I can blame society for its narrowminded weird qualms, but I can't change facts.

Personally, I would like to marry a tall guy so that the tall genes will spread to my kids and my kids would not be laughed at in school like me.

Very unfortunately, tall guys would like to marry tall girls so that not only will they look impressive and scary, their kids could grow up to be supermodels who are sluts who fuck around to get the said job. But thats not the point.

Jeremy is tall.

Or perhaps everyone looks tall during my work hours.

This is because I am FORCED TO WEAR SPORT SHOES. Mitsubishi wants to portray a "sporty" kinda image for its phone. Pui! I hate the sporty image. I know alot of people would disagree, but I still will say this. SPORTY SUCKS.

Sports apparels are made for sports. I cannot imagine why anyone would want to wear a pair of shoes $100 plus, which is so expensive because it is made for running, to go shopping.

I say keep the sport apparel in the courts/stadiums and wear normal clothes please.

Women wear heels because it will make their butts look perky and legs longer and more toned. People wear sport shoes just because it is trendy, and not because of the reason it is made for. (if you cite comfort as a reason, I would like to say that ballet shoes are comfortable as well (cheaper too), why arent you donning them on?)

Haiz... I guess it is the kinda image Nike has made. Healthy is beautiful. I suppose if you look sickly and pale the best you can do to deceive people that u are actually full of life is to put on a pair of sport shoes. Instantly, you will look like the average JC girl glowing from their work out.

I had like so many guys telling me they love JC girls. Surprisingly, it has nothing to do with intelligence at all. They just think the sporty image is attractive.

"See that girl over there?", they would say when the typical bunch chats on the MRT. "She looks so sporty... So innocent...I like sporty girls. I would like her as my girlfriend man..."

I took a look at the said girl, and replied, "She looks smelly and sweaty."

The guys said indignantly, "THEY GOT BATHE ONE LAR, YOU THINK WHAT?"

"How you know?"

"Got one la..."

"She looks like she just finish playing netball and came to the MRT to spread the germs from her sweat to everyone."

They couldnt be bothered to talk to me. Forgive me, will you, JC girls? I guess I dun see the attractiveness because I am a girl. But I suppose if I am in JC I would adopt that image too. If thats what the typical JC person thinks is sexy, so be it. *shrugs*

So. I digressed. My point is, Mitsubishi made me wear sport shoes so Jeremy is one of the rare few who saw me wear flat shoes (anything less than 5 cm is flat).

In fact, the previous time I wore flat shoes was 3 years ago in secondary school. Beside the occasional exam period when I would be spotted in slippers, my soles would be at least 7 cm from the ground.

Usually when I date guys, I would (naturally) be in heels. They, being guys (guys dun look at details), would be convinced that I am not short, but just petite.

Only when I step into their homes would they discover the truth. Of course, by the time I visit their houses, it would be too damn late to dump me. Bwahahhahahah! Aint I a genius.

But no. Jeremy knows the truth. And it is all MITSUBISHI'S BLOODY FAULT! Why can't they portray, say, a classy image for their phones?

The good thing is, Jeremy may be one of those who likes the stupid "sporty" image, so perhaps he likes my dressing?

2) What if he likes shu nus?????!

3) What if I am not attractive enough for him? I think I am not. Afterall he is so cute, girls must be queuing up. When my turn reaches in the queue, Jeremy would look straight ahead thinking why the next girl left such a big gap.

The next girl would pout, and point downwards, at the midget which is me. Jeremy and her would have a good laugh while I sob away, and they would marry and live happily ever after. 60 years down the road, they would still be cracking "short" jokes. ("Still remember that dwarf who you didnt manage to see in the queue coz u looked eye level?" "Yeah man! Bwahahhaha!")

4) What if he likes the stupid type of girls as girlfriends?

Today, I watched Holland Village again. I got so pissed by Mo Jing jing and the big fuss guys are making over her.

There was this part, where this auntie selling chicken rice wanted her badly as a daughter-in-law. She told MJJ to marry her son, and MJJ said, "Don't want! I very stupid and very blur one! I will give you alot of trouble! You ask my sis lor I always make she angry!"

The auntie said, "Like that then good! Smart people are very cunning (ask your son to marry a stupid woman so that she would listen to you, see who is cunning?)! They will complain that selling chicken rice is degrading, that car too small, that the mother-in-law is difficult to get along with!"

In other words, she just said, "I like you coz you are stupid.

Selling chicken rice may not be a glamourous job, but because you are goddamn idiotic, I think you cannot find a better-paying job anyway, so you would stupidly help me sell my chicken rice for free. I am so selfish that I dun care if you work another job you may get more money for the family. I just want to get free labour from you.

Smart people might not complain that cars are small. I am so selfish I dun realise that smart people may happen to be easily satistfied too. But never mind, stupid people will not complain about anything coz it takes them so much effort to string up a sentence, so just be stupid yeah?

I am difficult to get along with. Thats me. I have not wondered why smart people find me difficult to get along with, nor made an effort to change it. Never mind that! Just stupidly serve me like a maid! Like a dog! I like!

And lastly, if you are smart I find you a threat. I will not be able to get along with you coz I think I am just an uneducated chicken rice auntie. Uni grads? No thanks! I cannot communicate with them. I wouldnt give them any chances to try, coz I know it wouldnt work out."

MJJ actually smiled at the praise. Naturally. Stupid people dun get hidden messages.

At the end of the auntie's talk, I said loudly, "BLOODY HELL THEN GO GET YOURSELF A DOG! A DOG ALSO CAN DO ALL YOU WANT. A DOG IS STUPID! A WIFE SHOULDN'T BE!"

My family looked at me... Cheery self in me had suddenly disappeared to be replaced with a very irritated look. They know better than to say anything at all.

I really wonder what what the stupid gf will think when this happens:

"Dear dear, why you like me?"

"Frankly?"

"Yes please. Please wait for a while while I help you wipe your shoes, there is a speck of dust."

"heehee.. Thats what I like about you. You are stupid."

"What?"

"You said I should tell you the truth."

"No no... I mean, can you dun speak more than 3 words per min? I didnt get what u said!"

"You..... are.... stupid... thats....why....I... like... you..."

"I dun understand."

"Precisely!"

I certainly hope Jeremy doesnt like the stupid kind. In other words, I hope he is not a bloody MCP.

*****

I realised the possibilties are quite endless. Perhaps he doesnt like girls with moles under their left eyes. Perhaps he personally hates girls from SP, all of them. Perhaps he thinks I have bad breath.

I shall write down a list (if it manages to form a list) of stuff that shows he displays a liking to me.

1) He did say that he is happy that I am working with him. But then again he said he liked the Singtel people too.

2) He kept talking to me. But he may be bored.

3) He asked me to send to him the photo we took. May be polite.

4) He did not reject the movie idea, despite having to work the next day. May be polite.

5) He talked alot about himself including personal stuff. But he may be trying to make conversation.

6) He laughs at my jokes. But guys do not like humourous girls as gfs. They like humourous girls are just platonic friends.

7) I personally feel we get along quite well. But then again he is really easy to get along with.

8) He sent me to the bus stop after the show. Does it show anything at all? Perhaps he was just being polite. But I shall convince myself that he wants to spend maximum time with me without paying $30 bucks for it (taxi fare if he sent me home).

9) We took a pic with his phone and when I deleted it because I looked ugly, he "Oei, why you delete?". I suppose that means he wants to keep the picture.

Thats it. There are alot of buts too.

1) He did not enquire much about me. I asked for his number, I asked him for the movie, I asked him to have lunch with me, I asked him whats his name first. He doesnt not even know whether I am attached or not!

2) He did not initiate any messages or calls till now.

3) His friend came to visit him during work and the said friend overheard our movie plans. Jeremy suggested watching the movie with them. Half of me is convinced that he doesnt want to make the movie a date kinda thing by having just two of us. The other half shouts that he is being polite to the friend coz the friend came to find him afterall, it would be rude to bo chup him.

In the end the friend said he couldnt make it.

4) His smses are quite short and not very promising. Very very normal. But he bothers to reply.

5) We actually wanted to watch LXG but it was not out yet. And also, because I forgot to bring money out that day, he paid for the tickets first. So I told him I would give him a treat when LXG is out. Yet, in an sms, he said, "See you next sat."

I suppose that means that he doesnt want to meet up with me again that week? Or am I over suspicious?

I think I am ridiculous. Unless he, like me, suddenly had spasms of love, it is unlikely that love-at-first-sight happened for him too. Perhaps he is slightly interested, but it will be miraculous if he displays so much interest in me in 2 days.

Time is what I need to give the fellow. Yet, I already miss him so much, I feel like mms-ing him a big thumping heart gif file to tell him I like him and ask him if he would just, like he said, tell me straight that he doesnt like me and spare me the agony of guessing.

Well. Since the good list surpasses the bad list by 4 points, I guess things are still going ok.

But do you guys think? Especially guys, tell me whether you like the girl if you behaved exactly like that?

Leave comments k?

-Jeremidium is a disease here to stay-

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I just realised that the previous entry got cut off half way. To those who did not manage to catch it before it was gone, the gist is that Jeremy is a motorola promoter also working at my store.

This is his pic anyway.



I'm so freaking pissed that stupid blogger deleted my previous entry. It was one of the few rare attempts to write erotia. Perhaps thats the reasons it is gone. WTF. Anyway, gonna sleep now. Nights all!

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