I'm sorry peeps, I'm really busy recently, just handed in two major projects yesterday, and theres more to come up on weds and thurs. If I get thru this alive, I will (it is confirmed) continue blogging.
Meanwhile, I would like to say that I am sorry for leaving that previous post hanging there... Actually what happened was just a misunderstanding, I would explain after thurs k?
And thank you, for all those of you who click on my page daily despite the scary picture. Love ya all!
This is a song for you guys:
This is the song that doesnt end! Yes it goes on and on my friend! Some people started singing without knowing what it was, and they continue singing just because this is the song that doesnt end! Yes it goes on and on my friend! Some people started singing without knowing what it was, and they continue singing just because this is the song that doesnt end! Bleah.
I am so angry!!!
Urghhhhhhhh!!! Really really unfair, what happened today. I didn't blog about it because the person/s I will be complaining about might will see the blog.
BUT HECK.
He and she deserves a big piece of my mind slinged at them, and it will be dipped in concentrated sulpluric acid too.
Meanwhile, a small piece of graffiti on the bus says it all for me.
In fact, I was feeling slightly better already, and then I saw the little msg (I assume it is written by God for me, as he doesnt like to see his children being victimised. Didn't know God vandalised too), and my wrath increased 3-fold again as the words rang repeatedly in my head in a low evil voice.
Amazing what random graffiti can do. Imagine if it were a sexually abused niece who saw the message, and it causes her to realise that she should not allow herself to be a sex slave to her uncle anymore. She might just take a knife and kill the bloody uncle tonight, no? All because of a little bit of graffiti.
Anyway. I am not a slave and I will not allow myself to be one.
On a happier note, I am gonna meet up with Ghimz the Giam, Potty Peiying, Dong the Dumb and (Eekean's name is changed after she enters Law) Wong the Lawyer, my RV friends whom I have not met up with for a long time. Thus, I would not have time to tell you guys the full story now, so I shall do so tonight.
Please stay tuned, and let me know what you guys think k! I need support!
I am really fat. I am fat around my tummy and thighs. Before you fall asleep immediately with another typical "I'm so fat" entry from yet another stupid female blogger, with horrible nightmares of me slapping you with flabby meat around my tummy, listen to me whine first.
I am so fat, that my new phone is mocking me.
I bought my dream T500 from Samsung, heres a nice new picture of it.
Ok, I'm very happy that Jealous June managed to help me find the gold colour one, which is a limited edition. The front LCD can be changed to different pictures, and the diamantes has LED lights underneath it, so it can sparkle in violet, orange, yellow, green, blue and sky blue when people call.
How wonderful. My phone is the prettiest in the world.
The 65,000 colour screen can also be transformed into a good mirror. See my camera being reflected?
Anyway, since its a woman's phone, it has some saboh functions.
1) Fat calculator
Heres my fat calculation:
Bullshit! You have not seen my tummy, sascastic little piece of shit.
2) Pink Schedule
The pink schedule, as predicted, is meant to calculate menses. It also calculates for you, as if you have sex every single day, the possibility of getting pregnant today.
Lets have a look at mine today.
BULLSHIT.
I am so fat, that no one is shagging me at all. In fact, no one has shagged me for a long long time. MY PREGNANT POSSIBILITY IS ZERO. How can I get pregnant when no one is shagging me? As far as I know, I am not a bloody fish, so sperm wouldn't swim about and enter me.
99% indeed, sascastic piece of shit.
I am so fat, that Eileen told me that her friend asked her whether I drink alot of beer coz I have, obviously, a fat tummy. Ok I am done with the whining, so, depending on your sex you can know nod your head violently and say you understand totally, or fall asleep with nightmares of Spongebob Squarepants shagging Patrick, the pink Starfish (watch that cartoon, its funny).
Welcome back (from your nap, if you are male).
I got pretty much upset by that comment. I do not drink beer. And the beer is not happy as well, because it would not ever have the pleasure of causing a tummy on me, as I already have one. And people are giving it the credit for something it didn't even attempt to do.
Anyway, the point is that I should do something about the humongous tummy, which is so big, that if I stupidly walk into a wall, the first body part that would touch the wall is my belly. And I am not doing the limbo rock.
Now thats horrible. At the end of Project Reduce Tummy, I should be able to walk into a wall with my boobs touching the wall first. Following that would be my toes, and then my eyelashes, and then my nose. My tummy will be so trim, my pelvis will stop it from ever touching the wall.
I will be able to look at my toes without anything blocking my view while standing up. Now, being able to look at my toes while standing upright will have absolutely no use of course, but it will give me an infinite amount of satisfaction.
How do I go about the diet? I am not willing to give up food. But good food costs money. So I shall not bring any money to school from now on. Urgh, forget it. I am not gonna give up food.
So I shall purchase a girdle. For males, a girdle is something you put around your waist so that when you wear tight clothes, your tummy would not hang out like a giant tumour. I shall wear my girdle at home as girdles are socially unacceptable.
I imagine this to happen when I wear my girdle to prance around.
Piece of Fat from KFC Chicken Skin (to itself gleefully): "Oh man!! I'm a piece of fat! I will destroy Wendy's life! Hmmm, let me see where I should reside in... I think I might want to go to her elbow. Wouldn't it be very funny if she has fat elbows? Or maybe fat eyelids? But gosh... I think I would be so lonely there. No other pieces of fats will be there. Thus, I shall go to her tummy where there are alot of fats."
The POFFKFCCS tries to travel to my tummy, which is binded tightly with the girdle.
POFFKFCCS: "Oh no my friends! Why are you all so unhappy here!"
Chorus from the numerous pieces of fats: "Its a GIRDLE! We are so squashed! Some of us are thinking of migrating to BOOBS and ASS!"
POFFKFCCS: "Oh no, I want to stay here with you guys!"
NPOF: "NO SPACE!"
Dramatically, some of the numerous pieces of fats suddenly collapse and die just to prove their point.
POFFKFCCS shudders and cries: "I guess I would get out of the blood steam later then, see you guys!"
The POFFKFCCS sits comfortably in the intestines, and falls asleep. When it awakes half and hour later, it sees a piece of Brown Unidentified Object floating around.
POFFKFCCS to BUO: "Hey bro! Why are you looking so glum? Oh no, you stink! Anyway, I'm a Piece of Fat from KFC Chicken Skin! What are you exactly, a liver?"
BUO: "I'm a piece of shit."
POFFKFCCS: "Oh COME ON! Theres no need to be so pessimistic! Life can't be THAT BAD! Now stop calling yourself a piece of shit. Coz you are not, ok! Ok seriously, what are you?"
BUO: "I'm a piece of shit."
POFFKFCCS: "Duh. Since you wouldn't cut the crap, I would like to enquire where we are heading towards now. I would get to get out of the bloodstream at THIGHS, would you be so kind as to notify me when we reach?"
BUO: "We have long passed THIGHS while you were sleeping. We are now heading towards ANUS."
POFFKFCCS: "OH! Thats cool! A new place! I have never heard of it before. So will there be many Pieces of Fats at ANUS? Those are my friends!"
BUO: "I hardly think so."
POFFKFCCS: "That sucks."
BUO: "You wish. It doesn't suck but sort of squirts instead, and we will end up where there are many Brown Unidentified Objects like me. I don't like them, they stink."
POFFKFCCS: "Oh man! How did you discover that I called you Brown Unidentified Object secretly?"
BUO: "You and the rest of the word didn't believe me when I said I am a piece of shit, so there must be an alternative name."
POFFKFCCS: "Hey look! I see light! I see the sea! Is this the sea?! How exciting!"
BUO: "This is the toilet bowl. The sea isn't yellow, you fool."
*****
Ahhh... Thats how I will become Miss SlimTummy in a short while. The problem now is how to purchase a girdle without dying of embarrassment.
If I survive, I might be able to get him to shag me.
Fucking cute, Jeremy is. Haiz, I'm really really so so so in love with him. I'm dying.
Indeed, it has been quite some time since I last clicked on the blogger link to type out some words... Within this short period of time, many things have happened... More good than bad, I would suppose, but meanwhile, I would like to say that I have somehow lost the momentum to blog, and only when something happens and I would really wanna express my thoughts about it, then would I be inspired to write again.
And this something, is almost surely a sad thing, because I don't really need to complain about happy things, do I?
Alright here it goes, and I am really sorry that my first post after a long time is so pessimistic (Perhaps it will turn into a happier tone after I finish blogging about my discontent).
The guys I like, all seem to think and consider for centuries before they make their decision to be together with a girl. What do I mean? Okie, lets consider the past few guys that I have liked. Chronologically, Adryan, Eddy, and then Jeremy.
All of them keep telling me that they dunno me well enough to be together with me, and vice versa. ("we have just known each other for 4 months, you don't even know me well enough to be sure you like me" etc)
I have always associated this trend with smart people.
For example, in rural Indonesia, people get together easy. A farmer sees a village girl, and he asks her, "Hey, do you menstrate every month regularly?". The girl says Yes. The farmer would then smell the girl a little to check for body odour. If there is none, he marries her and continues to have some 8 children who grow up on wheats.
Now, intelligent men think different. Before making yet another mistake in a relationship and thus wasting their time, money and energy, they consider factors to see if the girl is a suitable person for them before rushing into a relationship. Factors like communication. Character flaws. Chemistry. Fetishes. Whatever. So they will build the relationship on friendship first, and only after 50 years of friendship will they get together with the girl, although by then whatever good points you might have associated with her could be gone, eg big perky boobs.
So, my point is, whenever I see couples together, I would think to myself... Did they get together easy? Did the guy just snap his fingers and hoola, the girl is an official gf to bring home to show mum?
(Since stupid people get together easy and marry early and give birth to more babies, we can predict that the world is gonna be a stupider place in future, but its a long topic, so go figure yourself whether this is true)
I look at these couples, and think to myself: Should I settle for someone who rushes into relationships? Ah bengs, for example. Or Eric, Henry, and Nondescript guy, all of which asked for my number? Or desperate guys? Am I THAT desperate for a bf?
I would proceed to take a closer look at the male counterpart of the couple I am looking at, and think to myself, "Come on, Wendy... Even if he is intelligent enough not to rush into a relationship, would you accept this fellow as your bf?"
I would then scruntinise a little further, and realise that the guy did not cut his toenails, wears his t-shirt tucked in, is freaking ugly, and etc things that I cannot accept in a bf... I would proceed to violently shake my head in public, which is thoroughly embarrassing btw, but can't be helped, and tell myself that I should settle for nothing less than what is stated in my Boyfriend Criteria List.
BCL states that
- Bf must be good looking. I'm sorry, blame me for being superficial, but I simply cannot bring myself to kiss an ugly person. I'm sorry, ugly people, but you all should consider plastic surgery. Oh btw? I am removing all my comments links so that you ugly people will not have the pleasure of dissing me in public. You can always email me with a stupid RE like "FUCK OFF YOU BITCH" and I will cleverly delete your mail without opening it.
- Bf must be smart. I am sorry, dumb people, but I have nothing to say to you all. Dumb people dun understand my jokes, thats why there are spammers in this site. In other words, my boyfriend cannot be a spammer too.
- Bf must have sense of humour. Yes. I dun want the male version of shu nus to be my bf. He must be able to make me laugh, and laugh with me.
Thats it. Three simple criteria, is that very difficult to find? Some people will be thinking now, "Wah lau, please lor, you want a guy who is cute, smart, and funny. Look at yourself in the mirror first lor... You think you can match up to that standard meh?"
Yes. I can. If I insist I can, no one can say I cannot. I know I am not ugly for sure. I am not dumb either. So why should I let any one of my criteria slip? I shall not stop hunting till I find the right guy (who likes me back, which is the difficult part).
Anyway, my point is.
Today in the MRT I saw this couple again. Frankly speaking, they are ugly. Its ok to be ugly of course (as long as you are not trying to be my bf), but their paws were all over each other, and thats disgusting. Its really sad to be ugly because if Gigi Leung and Aniki Jin had their nice manicured paws over each other on the MRT we would film it down and think how wonderful god's creations are over and over again as we watch the tape. (but of course this is once again another topic altogether, and maybe I will talk about it another time).
So. I asked myself the usual question. Did they go through a tough time before getting finally together too? Would I settle for the fellow even if he wanted me?
I proceeded to control my violent head shaking a little and turned to face my left.
And there, directly in front of me, was this cute girl.
I noticed that she has a small bandage over her arm, the kind we get after injections.
I was just considering whether I would agree to be lesbians with her if she wanted it when I realised she is straight. Of course. The fellow sitting beside her is fucking handsome. If I could get a guy like that, I would remain straight too.
He was in a sleeveless top and muscles were bulging beneath the smooth golden skin.... A chiselled jawline, sharp nose, and he honoured his gf with a groin melting smile while my knees buckled.
And then I realised. Fucking hell. This fellow was from my secondary school. I know he is. Now there a thing about River Valley. The guys are quite hideous. There is the occasional relatively good looking one, but there is no fucking cute guy. Certainly not this standard.
In secondary school, he looked like shit. No one would have taken a second look at him. And now, he has grew up to be a cutie, and I have lost my only chance of ever being with him when I could see him everyday for 3 years in the past.
Urghhhhhhhhhhh. I looked down at the slippers I wore. Plastic blue flip flops, courtesy of my brother. Fake Gucci bag. Unshaved shins beneath cheap caprises (if thats how its spelt). Face scrubbed nice of make-up. Very very bad hair day. I'm usually not this ugly, but today I just went to school for project meetings and there is no need to dress up.
Not that I would have stood a chance anyway.
He looked at no other women all this while except his gf, and gingerly, he put his arm around her shoulder. Usually the fingers would be wrapped around the arm, but his were hoverly gently just above her arm, careful not to touch her skin. He then smiled at the girl and poked a finger some 5 cm below her injection, and asked if is hurts here.
The girl pouted a little, nodded, and said, "a bit numb numb like that lor". They laughed a little and his arm remained there, his nice fingers now wrapping around her elbow, a safe distance from the wound.
How heart-breakingly sweet. I hoped the person sitting beside the girl would give her a cruel jab in the wound just to break the scene into something less diabetic. But no such thing happened, as the auntie shoving her children around couldnt care less about my feelings, so I proceeded to ask myself the usual questions.
Did they get together easy too? And even if the guy wants me, do I want him?
And for the first time in the many many times I saw couples and asked myself that question, I realised it is a "Yes".
How very saddening. I msged Eileen to complain that I am sick of seeing couple around, and that I just want Jeremy, why can't he just be with me, and stuff. She managed to cheer me up a little, but I felt very much alone again. So, I went to Bukit Batok Library to return my books, and sat there from 330 till 6 to read happy children's books where there are no sex involved.
I finished Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, where thankfully Charlie did not mention about how totally wonderful and loved Mr Willy Wonka made him feel, or how he felt that Grandpa Joe was the only person he would really "make love to" instead of just having sex with or how he felt Grandpa Joe was "the one" for him and how they lived happily ever after.
I still felt slightly nauseous when I reached home and after I took a nap, so I started to call people to relieve some misery.
Scrolling down my phone book, I called Adryan first. We talked for a short while, and I realised he is attached. What the fuck. Not to Xiao feng though, thankfully. He had to get some work done so he hung up fast.
I called Bernard. I asked if I could go to his place to use his samsung cable, since he has a V200, as my com can't seem to detect my phone being there (Oh yeah I bought my beautiful T500, but thats another issue altogether).
He said "Ermm.. No..."
"Why?"
"You know I got gf liao right?"
Why on EARTH would I know he has a gf? Anyway, thats a signal for me to fuck off, so I did.
And then I called Eddy next.
"Are you attached as well?", I asked.
And so he is. How wonderful!!!
Whos next? Both chronologically and alphabetically, it is Jeremy.
And then I realised something. Everyone whom I liked and doesnt like me have been lying about waiting to decide if getting together is the right thing to go. I realised, bitterly, that all of them possibly just enjoyed the fucking attention I gave to them while I idiotically did sweet things for them, etc. If they fucking liked to be friends with the bloody girl before getting together with her, why did they get attached so bloody fast to the other girls? And WHO ARE THE BLOODY LUCKY GIRLS!!!
Why, why is life so fucked up?
Everyone is lying to me. I hate everyone.
I think. I shall stop liking Jeremy. Even if I persevere, nothing is gonna come out of it. I delete his number now, and I will never have the pain of knowing he is fucking someone else.
*****
Oh no my mood has not improved. I think I shall start thinking how I will destroy both Eddy's and Adryan's weddings should they ask me to attend.
Aha. I would put Viagra into the groom's drink, and that way, he would be too embarrassed to prance around with a bulging crotch. What a marvellous idea. I am ingenious.
I will continue blogging. =)
Read The Full ArticleThese past few days I have been speaking to my resident spammer on IRC. If you guys insist on knowing the reason why I want to discontinue blogging...
Heres one big one: www.xiaxue2.blogspot.com
In case the format of the site has been changed, I think I would just tell you wat was there. Its an exact mirror of my site, except the picture of me was changed to a stupid staring monkey. A big picture. And my friends' and family's pictures were changed to some stupid characters as well. The site is called "The World Thru' My Nostrils". My entries are plagarised and some words are changed. Changed such that I sound like a slut who masterbates with cucumbers whole day long.
There. I put in so much effort into blogging because I thought people enjoyed my writings, but I am wrong. People only want to laugh at me. Laugh at how idiotic I am. The amount of hard work I put into my writings are easily copied and then edited. What can I do about it? Can I sue the fellow who infringed on my copyrights? I have no money you know. Can I request for blogspot to cancel this address? I can't either.
You guys may claim that I am stupid and silly to bother about these spammers, but you all wouldnt understand how helpless, and how disappointed I am.
To think my site sucked so much that people actually put in so much effort to delibrately harm me.
Anyway, the spammer said that he and his friends read my site just to see how stupid I can get tomorrow. Or how bimbotic. Or how full of myself.
Suddenly, I have a startling thought. What if... What if thats what the majority of you think too? What if everybody reads my blog coz I am such an idiotic person? I have done nothing except to write out my thoughts. Stupid thoughts, of course. Yes, I may even put up stupid pictures of my good hair days which only horny guys are interested in. SO? Its my freedom to do that isnt it? And if you don't like the idea, why stay reading everyday? Why must u people abuse me this way?
Why? Why should I subject myself to such mockery? Why should I allow you people to be so happy over my misery?
You spammers want me to stop writing? I will. I will even close down the site. Happy now? Or should I leave the site here just for your abusing pleasure? But whats the point? No readers will come anymore after I stop writing. You will be spamming for no one to see.
And I'm really sorry to those people who enjoyed my blog. The spammers are right. I suck. Go read some other blog right now k? Or perhaps, if you insist my writings are good, you could curse the spammers to eternal hell, coz it is their inconsiderate and cruel behaviour that made the world lose a good writer.
Look.
What is a blog?
Why do you even READ blogs?
Because the WRITINGS are interesting right?
Not because you just want to see photos.
So. My point is, stop saying I am ugly. So what if I am? Who cares? The point of my blog is not to show you pretty pictures. Remember, you should be here for the writing, not the pictures. I have never said I am beautiful in the first place. And even IF i think I am beautiful, am I not entitled to my own opinion? Who are YOU to judge whether I am pretty? When was the last time you had your eyes checked anyway?
Thats not the point of course. The point is that if you are here in my site just to see pretty June or Goddess XF or sexy Eileen, please fuck off. You should be here for the writing, so stop being so bloody superficial (and stupid).
On a last note, I am removing the tagboard coz the fucking spammer is still there.
How cool! To prove my success, I have my own resident spammer. Remember, spammer, support me always yeah? Don't you dare spam other sites! Only mine!
Yup, and my spammer asked me whether I need his help to boost visitors as my site's traffic is going down recently.
That would be due to the fact that I blog less often nowadays of course.
For your info, spammer, I am DELIGHTED that the traffic is down.
I am sick of being too darn publisized. Every other day someone says he/she saw me in public, and thats freaking scary. I feel stressed. And here I am, openly writing bad stuff about people. And some of these people have seen my site.
It includes Androgenous Aaron, and I hope he understands that the site was done when he and I were having a big quarrel, thus the negativity. Our friendship is going fine now though, thanks to his graciousness *smiles*.
As for Grouchy Gwenne, I'm sure she would find out about the site soon enough. I dun give a shit about her opinion though.
I'll be blogging later at night. To those we truely enjoy my site, I thank you for all your support. I love you all. Seriously. Without you guys I would have stopped blogging a long time ago (when the spammers were more cruel).
And why, why doesnt Jeremy love me?? Boohoohoo. I'm doing a powerpoint thingy for him though... If you wanna see it, perhaps go to my irc channel and I will send it?
See ya all later.
