MRT irritants continued...
Muahahhahahahha!!!
I wish I brought along a pair of scissors yesterday. Some uncle who sat next to me did precisely the shirt sleeve tickling thingy. I squirmed, I moved, and squeezed, yet nothing I did could escape this filthy sleeve (the rhyme is not intentional). If only I had a pair scissors! I would cut off the cretin's sleeve and save the rest of the world from his tickling!
No use dreaming about it now.
I used to have long curly hair right? And its all over the place... If I still have my curly hair, I would tickle his face with it! Let him have a taste of his own medicine. But no! My rebonded hair is so bloody flat.
The pair of scissors would have another use as well. The uncle STINKS. I could threaten him with it and he would move seats. Now, why do some people smell so much? Wait, I think I dun wanna know. The fellow sat beside me and my nostrils were filled with his horrible stench. WTF? This is not fair! I did not pay $1.35 or something to smell rotten eggs!
I suggest, that everyone should go through a smell test when they enter the MRT. If you stink, you would be asked to go into the smelly chamber to travel to your destination. In the smelly chamber would be tons of other smelly people, and if you stink and you can't smell yourself, perhaps you can smell others.
Imagine this scene...
Smelly Uncle: *beep* (EZlink sound)
-A very loud TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!-
MRT personnel rush out, clad in gas masks, ala SDU style.
Personnel 1: "Alert alert! Smelly bastard detected! Do not let him escape!!"
Personnel 2: "Roger roger! Target found and surrounded!"
Personnel 3: "Roger! I have got target. Assistance needed. Beware, stench is grade 5, almost lethal!"
Personnel 1: "Well done. Thank goodness for the gas masks. Can you imagine if this fellow sits beside the famous blogger Xiaxue? I dun want her to die? She seems to be a big fan of SMRT."
Smelly uncle: "Where you all siao kias taking me to? I just never bathe for 10 days only, the gas mask is a bit too kua zhang right??!"
Personnel 1: "Sir, you shall go straight to the smelly chamber, the end of the MRT. In there, you would see all the smelly bastards like yo.."
Smelly uncle, interrupting, "I AM NOT SMELLY!"
Personnel 1 slaps the Smelly Uncle with a heavily padded hand. Some debris caked on the uncle's face falls off. The uncle heaved a deep breath and the breath comes out in a light green misty colour.
Personnel 1, with delibrate patience: "You are FUCKING smelly. And DO NOT INTERRUPT ME!", he boomed.
Personnel 1 grins cheekily at Personnel 3, whom he thinks must be impressed with his authority and volume. Personnel 3 happens to have very nice breasts.
The Smelly Uncle whimpers.
Personnel 1: "As I was saying... You would be with the rest the smelly people. Sitting with you would also be all the bangala who are caught either 1: Holding hands with another bangala, or, 2, caught oogling at females. They could also be stinky of course."
The Smelly Uncle shudders. He thinks that the Bangalas might come hold his hand, but he forgot he stinks so that would not happen.
Personnel 1: "We have also caught some other offenders as well, although these people might not deserve so much to be in the Smelly Chamber. They are people who tickle others with skirts, or sleeves, or scratchy curly hair. We also catch people who play with ringtones on the MRT.
"These people are punished to put a 3310 to their ear and listen to the same ringtone on level 5 all the way till they reach their destination. This would teach them how it feels like to be an innocent traveller who has to tolerate this torment every time a similarly bo liao person does the ringtone testing.
"We also catch people who sing on the MRT. Are they stupid or stupid? They think that when they have earphones in their ears, they cant hear their own goddamn singing so others cannot hear them as well. What bullshit. We punish this people to listen to F4 songs all the way till they reach their destination too."
By now the Smelly Uncle has pee-ed in his pants, making, weirdly, no difference to the way he smells.
*****
Yes. If I rule the world, the MRT system would really be good, no?
I just set up a friendster account for my INTERNET SELF. I actually quite like being shizophrenic (if I spelt it correct). It is Miss Xiaxue, so do add me as a friend if u read my blog?? Pretty please? My email add is xiaxue_blog@yahoo.co.uk! You can access my page here!
Muahahhahahha! And I will pay everyone who writes me a good testimonial $0.015, which is what Starhub charges per second of usage!! Teehee...
Meanwhile, I think I shall blog tml, coz I just came back from a wedding dinner at One Fullerton Hotel! Quite a disappointment if you ask me... I got pictures too! Show you guys tml!
Add me ah!
Yesterday we went to Aaron's Drag competition in Zouk! It was great!
This is stupid, but I just feel like uploading this photo.
Anyway, apparenly it was butch and gay night, and nobody can be sure of anyone's sexuality yesterday night. 2 butches asked for June's number. WTF? They are shorter than her! So weird!
June is a butch magnet! (She is the one is the middle in case you are new to my blog. P/s: You could read character intro to get less confused. The tab is on the right, baby...)
I have a class chalet going on and I am late for it! Oh damn, I'm still gonna blog!
Yesterday I mentioned that discovering blogger is one of the best things that happened to me. To further prove that correct, my long-lost primary school best friend, Yee Yen, whom I had tried very hard to find, saw my blog and gave me an email!! Yaay! I am very happy! Hahaha...
-Hello Yee Yen!-
Anyway, I decided on one thing that Singapore should ban. It is infinitely worse than chewing gum.
It is bad advertisements.
The first of the bad ads list, would definitely be the KFC finger licking ad. IT IS TOO GROSS FOR WORDS. Who the FUCK would go lick their mother's fingers?? Finger-licking is a sexual act (due to the phallic shape of the finger) and will always remain that way.
Even if your mother is blind and you want her to get all reminiscent about the past when you still licked her fingers for her (goodness knows that else the mum asked him to do?), you don't go about licking her fingers in front of the other members of the family like that. There are many many things you could do to get her to remember who you are.
For example, say your name? Duh!
Incest is a no-no for our younger generation. I imagine some young girl would think licking fingers is a correct thing to do in case her uncle got blind one day... And then she licks the uncle's fingers... And the uncle gets aroused... And asks her to lick something else...
You may say I am pervertic. But what I have said is true! Its not that we don't know about pervertic uncles around.
The next ad they should get rid of is the freaking Chihuahua ad of Coca Cola.
The stupid advert is so meaningless, that I keep getting it mixed up with the also red ad of McDonald's "i'm lovin it", which is equally dumb but not THAT irritating.
Actually, the chihuahua ad is not that bad till the day before yesterday, when I had yet another traumatizing experience on the MRT.
I was taking the last train home, and it was fairly empty.
Just before I reached Jurong East, I was fully awakened from my groggy state but this bunch of stupid mudds. They were, as usual, conversing loudly, but I somehow managed to drown them out in my sleep.
They begin to hum a techno tone, innocently enough. I thought to myself, "Thank god they have run out of stupid topics to say. At least the humming is softer."
Just as I was feeling quite pleased, they suddenly erupted into a thunderous "CHIHUAHUA!!!!!!!"
I almost had a heart attack. I wanted to ask them to SHUT THE FUCK UP, but I am afraid they would hit me with their guitars, fake Gucci bags, yo-yos and kick me with a tapered jeans leg.
Urgh. Thankfully, it was Jurong East already, and I alighted from the train feeling very glad.
I walked quickly, without looking back at them.
I think they were haivng great fun seeing me jump into the air in shock. This time, without the humming, they erupted into another "CHIHUAHUA!", this time very near my ear. No doubt, this is delibrate. I can almost imagine the cretins grinning to each other and counting with their fingers to scare me at the same time.
I almost had a seizure, but walked fast into the bus interchange anyway, without looking back at them again. I had to tolerate the Chihuahua song all the way till I reached my bus stop.
Now, this whole incident is Coca Cola's fault. Its not the Mudds' fault. They just have the brains of llamas and would suck in anything they see from TV. It is fucking Coca Cola's fault for releasing such a STUPID ad with absolutely no purpose except to irritate. Whats the brand message? That Coca Cola loves silly little dogs? That people should drink Coca Cola on the train and then have a mass orgy?
Without Coca Cola's recent ad, I would not have almost had a heart attack on the MRT.
There are other incidents on the trains which irritated me.
I absolutely hate people who do not shift places on the train. If you have an empty seat on your right and on your left, would you shift to either empty seat so that a pair of friends could sit together?
I would, because thats the polite thing to do. Why would I want to sit in between them to make sure they cannot speak to each other?
Being the shameless self I am, when such a thing happens, I would ask the person to shift seats, if they are not proactive enough.
Usually the person would move seats politely enough, but I remember there was this once, I asked this stupid auntie to move. She proceeded to give me a very reluctant and disgusted look and kept quiet.
WTF? Are people that stupid and rude? If she doesnt want to move coz she thinks that that particular seat has good fengshui, TELL ME. Don't keep quiet like an idiot.
June and I stared at each our thinking why is she behaving so weirdly.
She proceeded to the dumbest thing in history. She moved HALF A SEAT.
June and I stared at each other in puzzlement.
Soon we realised her rationale for doing that. She patted the other half of the seat.
SO. So she thought that the seat is too hot for her to sit on.
OMG. I cannot stand stupid chinese aunties who STILL believe, in this advanced era, that sitting on a warm seat would give you zits on your butt. Can you please tell me why such stupid people exist?? And why??? WHY must I always encounter them?? I did not murder! I did not rape! I do not deserve this! Why do stupid people keep bothering me??
I know how to deal with people who do not shift their seats already.
You and your friend would proceed to seat on either side of the inconsiderate twit and yak to each other as if he/she is a table and not a person. This would no doubt irritate him to death. If the person doesn't look like he kills for a living, you and your friend can even complain loudly about how you wish some people would be more considerate so that you guys can talk side by side instead of being blocked by some freaking person who plain refuses to move although it would not harm him in any way.
Yesterday yet another incident happened.
I was sitting down, feeling quite drowsy, and promptly fell asleep, with Jay Chou humming in my ears gently...
Suddenly, I got jolted awake by an acute tickling on my bare knees. I woke up feeling very irritated. Standing before me was this fat lady with a long loose skirt. The MRT is not that crowded, so I don't see any reason why she should stand so close to my legs, unless she is trying to stare down at my cleavage, which is impossible because
1) She has bigger boobs
2) I was wearing a turtleneck.
I tried to sleep again, but the tickling got worse, and you have to understand how freaking irritating that is? I tried to move my legs this way and that, but I cannot, try as I might, move away from her giant flowery skirt's claws.
I decided I do want to nap on, and that I did nothing to deserve this torture from her, so I woke up, took out my earphones, gave her a smile, and mentioned lightly to her that her SKIRT IS TICKLING MY KNEES.
She gave me a dazed look, not unlike the auntie's when I asked her to move seats.
She stared on at me, as if saying, "What are you talking about, stupid little girl? I don't have time to listen to your nonsense, so speak up!"
I repeated myself, this time loudly and clearly.
She actually smiled, and said, "Where?"
WHICH PART OF "YOUR SKIRT IS TICKLING MY KNEES" DID SHE NOT FUCKING UNDERSTAND??
What does she mean by "where?". SKIRT tickling KNEES! Did she not understand where her skirt is, or does she think that my knees are on my face?
URGH!! Another dumb person! This one is worse, she takes 3 years to understand a simple sentence.
After pointing to my knees to show her "where" I was referring to, she did not bulge. NOT A LITTLE BIT. I have not seen such a rude person! I decided there is nothing I can do about it, so I tried to sleep again, cursing her silently that she would lose all her eyebrows tomorrow.
To add to my fury, she "accidentally" hit me with her freaking plastic bag. The first time, I kept quiet.
The second time she did that, I did a very loud "TSK!" and gave her the most vindictive and monsterous look I can muster. I proceeded to stand up, in the pretence of adjusting my skirt.
This has two wonderful effects, the first being that she would have to move back when I stand up, and the second is that she would have false hope that she would have a seat to sit on.
She can DREAM ON. Even if I had to sit all the way to Boon Lay, I would not give up my seat to her.
For the rest of the journey, she did not tickle me anymore. I think I scared her. Haha!
-Half of the brain cells inside the average MRT belong to me-
Quite a long time ago, PY, EK and XF had a discussion about my blog.
I can't remember the full details, but I remember PY said something about me becoming very ya-ya about the high readership (I know its not very high actually but I'm not used to the sudden amount of strangers reading it). Suddenly, due to the amount of attention I am getting from my readers, the blog became a big part of my life.
Every other sentence would be about "my blog."
XF says that I no longer treasure her opinions like before. For example, if she says that a necklace is ugly, I would counter-claim that thats not true because my blog readers say it is nice.
PY said I have became very self-centred.
EK had an even more severe claim. She said that my blog would finally become my downfall.
Those are all friends who are very very important to me. I weighed it out for a moment, and almost stopped blogging totally. I thought, "if my blog affects my friendship with them, I would sacrifice the blog."
Ardent readers would know that i stopped blogging for a long period of time. At that point of time when I needed the most support from my readers to tell me that they want me to continue writing, there were a multitude of spammers. The freaking spammers kept insulting me, adding to my determination to stop this nonsense once and for all. Afterall, who needed extra hurt from silly people from the internet which I don't even know?
Yet I continued blogging, because I am a blabbermouth and when I do not have friends listening to me complain, I NEED AN OUTLET TO BITCH AT. Thats why, my first entry after a long rest, consisted of me complaining about Eddy, Adryan and Bernard all being attached at the same time.
As for my friends, I decided simply to not mention the sore topic of the blog in front of them again. Of course, I would learn to treasure their opinions more (its a bit too late, XF doesnt seem to talk to me alot nowadays), and be more people-centred. The blog is my internet persona, and nothing much to do with real life.
Yet, it does.
Because of the previous entry, I decided that starting a blog is one of the best things that happened to me.
My previous entries all had one common aim. To make people smile. Afterall, there is enough sorrow in the world, who wants to read about despair and death?
Yet when the divorce happened, I felt like talking to no one, and decided that I shall write it down in blogger.
Immediately, I received the 1st 3 comments. I felt much better already after blogging, and felt comforted when I read what my readers gave me as encouragements and feedback.
Besides many people sending me emails and leaving comments, blogger brought me closer to friends as well. Some of them read about what happened, and gave me a call immediately, like June and Peiying. Others sent me smses asking me to stay strong, which I will!
Thanks alot to everyone for the care and concern! I am really touched because you people are not my real-life friends, and are not obligated to do anything for me at all. And to my real life friends to told me that you guys would be there for me when I need you all, I knew you would be there, even without you telling! =)
Enough of the mushy stuff already! Haha... I'm back to my cheery mood and I wanna, as usual... complain.
Friendster
Due to me putting my address on friendster, the blog has reached a scaringly high amount of readers I day. (I dont dare to count). This is not a good thing because:
1) I am not getting paid for the publicity. Ads, anyone?
2) I don't like being recognised everywhere I go.
3) I wrote lotsa bad stuff about real life people and they are discovering it one by one.
See, nowadays, every few days or so I get an email or IRC people coming to tell me that they saw me on the streets. One reader said he saw me on the MRT while I was on my way home. He claimed that I was doing nothing except looking at my clie all the time.
He thinks he knows, but he has no idea.
Its not as simple as looking at my clie. Had he been more curious and tried to see what could be so interesting in my clie, he would realise I am reading a porn novel. Skimming through a page would give you many words like "pulsating wet little cleft", "big pink nipples", "Spanked her pubic lips", "his cock was so hard he was about to explode soon", you get the drift.
There. I don't like having my real life secrets being shown to the internet world. In here, I remain a bitch who just keeps writing. You guys do not know that I look horrid without make-up, I am really short, I eat on the MRT as if I own it, I talk too loudly, I have a fat tummy, etc. In short, I have no sense of shame and my pictures are all edited.
You think you know, but you have no idea. (Thats my fav phrase nowadays)
And about point 3. I started out the blog by telling only 2 people about it. One, June, and two, Elf, who is an internet friend, because he has a blog and I wanted to know more about HTML and how to even start blogging. The point is, I started bad-mouthing people as if its nobody's business, because I thought the victims would never read it anyway.
And then I see the web counter hopping, and I think to myself, what a wonderful world! Oops! I mean, I think to myself, "Aww, so what if XX reads my blog coz XX is in friendster? XX would no bother to open the archives to read everything la!".
So I smugly relax at home not bothering to read up my pass entries to censor off relevant names I mentioned.
Boy am I wrong! Suddenly I get many "I wanna clarify something with you," calls and emails. I'm in deep shit! But heck it. What I wrote were my true feelings AT THAT POINT OF TIME. I might have been angry and frustrated, and now, what I wrote might not stand true anymore, so don't get offended if I wrote something bad about you! Oh fuck it. If you wanna be offended, go ahead. I don't care.
How insincere can I get. Aww but you must forgive me, I am a girl whose parents are getting a divorce! (Haha I think I can use this excuse to act all weak and vulnerable. Maybe I can use it as an excuse not to do projects! I'm kidding.)
I am really embarrassed that many people have read my archives. A coursemate told me she just read thru my archives, and while I speak to her, she lightly mentioned things that I wrote before. Eg I tell her I wanna buy chicken wings, she says, "Make sure there aren't any cockroaches in it!"
I would proceed to give a confused look. I have no idea what she is talking about! Turns out it is about some silly blog entry.
I decided already! As the author, I should be the one who knows all about my blog, and not others! So, I went to re-read my entries and got quite nauseated.
I don't know since when, but I suddenly decided that I shall stop using words like "dun", "wun", "frenz" etc. As I review my writing style of the past, I thought, "What a fucking ah lian."
To think I actually has my emotions written in this form: *Smilez*, *traumatized!*
What the! So gross! Yikes.
Lets abruptly jump into another topic.
My Epilator
I wanna get fairer. I believe that being fairer means I would look richer, and that would help me achieve the image that I want! A few weeks ago, I asked Shuyin whether me, or another girl in my course, is fairer. She said that faces are almost the same, but her arms are fairer than mine.
I looked at my arms accusingly, and saw the culprit.
HAIR.
I am fucking hairy. The hairs on my arm can grow up to 1 cm in length. It is also jet black and dense. Oh alright be disguested all you want, but I take pride that at least those hairs are not curly.
But no. I am not gonna have dark arms anymore. Since my arm hairs covered around 40% of my arms, I assume that if I removed them all I am gonna become 40% fairer? Great.
So I bought a Philips Epilator!
What the fuck is an epilator?
Welcome to the world of pain. I heard people mentioning that women always use torture tools for beauty. When I asked (usually the guys) what kinda torture tools they are talking about, they usually mention eye-lash curlers.
They think they know, but they have no idea.
Eyelash curlers do NOT HURT AT ALL. An epilator is a must-have for all the masochists out there. The technology is to pull out hairs but this spinning device which will clamp the hairs in it. And its not one hair at a time, mind you. Its as many hairs as the epilator's surface can take at one go.
I thought I have a high tolerance of pain, but I have no idea. This machine had me whimpering like Michelle Saram, and to think I actually paid $120 for it! Ah... Men had commented that I am mad to spend money like that.
My reply is that THEY will never know the pain of shaving armpit hair once every two days. Men can only shrug their shoulders. They are the ones complaining if, god forbid, women have armpit hairs.
Lets jump abruptly to my next topic. I am running late for playing LAN with Idris!
Moles
My friend has this colleague who has a mole in her ear.
No big deal, most people have moles on their ears. You think you know, but you have no idea! Her mole looks like this:
I have something against big moles. If you have a big mole, I don't mean to offend you, but you are disgusting and please get it removed? Especially if yours has hairs sticking out of it.
Whever I see her, I feel very tempted to go, "Moley moley moley!" ala Goldmember style. Very tempting, but very rude.
"Hi, nice to mole you!" *Slaps self* Ok enough already.
And I hope that said colleague doesn't EVER read my blog.
Anyway, my point is, the said colleague, lets call her Fizzycola (I'm trying to think of a word that is as far as possible from her name so that if she ever types "Stephanie" and "Mole" in a search engine she would never find my blog. Oh wait, did I just say her name??).
Fizzycola was talking to another colleague's daughter in the shop. My friend was present as well. The colleague's daughter is usually very friendly and talkative, but when Fizzycola was speaking to her, she gave this dazed look and did not look at Fizzycola when Fizzycola yakked on.
I feel quite bad coz Fizzycola is actually quite nice. But this is too funny to let go.
Anyway, the colleague saw what happened and thought her daughter was behaving very rudely. So, she told her daughter off.
"Ah girl, why just now Fizzycola jie jie talk to you you don't answer her? Very rude you know?!"
"I'm sorry mummy... She talking to me meh? I didn't know coz I thought she talking on the handphone. I was thinking why the earpiece don't have wire one..."
My friend almost had liver cancer trying to curb her laughing.
-I wanna say... Dear little girl, earpieces do not have hairs on them.-
Read The Full Article
I am really touched. Sincerely! And I'm feeling much much better now after a talk with mum. No worries at all! And as adviced, I spoke to my bro, and it ended up with him comforting me instead about my insecurities..... Haha.. I have a very sensible bro indeed.
I will blog tml as I have a project to hand in tml morning!
I love you guys. =)
My parents are getting a divorce.
Since like 7 years ago, daddy has got this woman outside. When my mum found out, things got pretty serious. Mum threatened divorce. I was then 12 years old, and to a primary six kid, such a thing happening to my family was unthinkable.
In fact, the only nightmare I deeply remember having, was one I had when I was around p3 or p4. It involved my parents getting divorced, and I got so traumatized, that I woke up and cried and cried. My mommy then reassured me that such a thing would not happen, she and daddy are still loving as before.
And then it happened in Pri 6. By then, I had my brother with me, so at least there was someone to go through the ordeal with me. Also, I was old enough to think that it is quite imposssible that both my parents don't want me and would dump me at an orphanage.
In the end, my parents patched things up. They got more loving than before, and it is pretty obvious that dad did made the effort to make up for his mistake.
Things went well for perhaps around 4 years or so, and then occasionally I would hear my mum saying how she cannot tolerate my dad's bo chup behaviour. It is true.
When I was a kid, he used to bring me and my mum out very often. We would go to parks, beaches, and stuff like that. When I grew older and my interests transformed from sandcastles to heels, he does not have anything to do with the family at all. Mind you, I still have a younger brother who is 10 currently, so he could still bring him out if he felt I am not longer interested in the activities he is interested in (such as cycling). But no... He doesn't..
He's still not a bad father. He is civil and sweet to us at most times, although sometimes when he is in a foul mood he blows his top and at worst, even slammed objects. But he does come home early almost everyday. It is just that now, he makes superficial conversations with me and my brother, and does not care about us anymore.
My mum's recently found anger was due to the ONE silly statement my dad made.
You see, my mum had this friend of hers. Auntie Jenny. Auntie Jenny's husband is called Vincent. Now Vincent is rich, and a bloody flirt. He has a rendevous with this KTV girl, and the KTV girl somehow decided that Auntie Jenny should know about Uncle Vincent's affair. One fine day, when Uncle Vincent met her at Pan Pacific Hotel for sex, Auntie Jenny caught him on the spot.
The silly man tried to deny it by saying he is just meeting a friend. Afterall, he had his clothes on! What BULLSHIT. He should be hung.
Auntie Jenny forgave him anyway, and is still with him currently.
Now my dad, thinking that Uncle Vincent possibly has the same views about extra-marital affairs as he does, went to tell Uncle Vincent that my mum is silly to think that all this years it has been just one Miss Tan (the fucking mistress' name). He laughed heartily and said that there is more than one.
Uncle Vincent told Auntie Jenny who told my mum.
My mum packed her things and left the house. She did not tell what Auntie Jenny told her to my dad. She said she had enough of my father's attitude, and she felt that she doesnt love him anymore (vice versa too), and that it has been her all along taking care of the family (yes, even financially), and my dad doesnt even give a flying fuck, so why should she let him stay here with us? She wanted to leave so as to teach my dad a lesson on how difficult it is to actually take care of the family. Either he leaves, or she leaves.
Now, it is not uncommon that my mum does this kinda thing. I thought at first, bitterly: "Why must she involve us in their stupid adult games? Why can't they settle it maturely like adults, and not threaten this and that?" I had lots of projects on, and I really do not have the strength and time for things like this.
I thought my dad would persuade her to come back, and nothing would happen. Afterall, whats this? More than 20 years of marriage!
But my dad did nothing of that sort. Instead, he moped around at house, looking thoroughly glum and not mentioning anything to my bro and I at all. He is not the sort who talks.
Meanwhile, I tried to avoid thinking about all these at all and remained cheerful (I can actually force myself to think nothing is happening). I am angry and disgusted with my dad, however. I am pretty sure he does have another fucking woman outside, coz a month ago, he asked me how to delete numbers away from the call list. He made an excuse saying that he needs to delete this number coz he bought something from a customer, and he doesnt want another customer to know about it.
I said, "Please lor, it is impossible your customer would go check your phone!" He replied something patronising, like "Better safe than sorry." What does he take me for? A FUCKING IDIOT? I hate people giving me patronising answers that fucking insult my intelligence. But I still taught him how to delete the numbers anyway. If it stops my mum from getting hurt, I'll do it.
So back to my bro and my attitude towards my dad. We were both just semi-cold towards him, coz we are angry that he drove mum off. I can't say that my bro loves my dad as much as I did, because by the time my bro was old enough to know things, my dad has began to bo chup the family.
This afternoon, my mum called up and said that she already settled the housing and the divorce. The house is gonna belong to her, and my dad has agreed to the divorce.
I don't wanna think about it. I don't wanna think how the family is gonna be like without my dad, I don't wanna think where he is going to stay (its his own fault for womanising, and not apologizing to mum even up till now), I don't wanna think how everything is gonna affect my brother, not having a father.
My dad came home at 6 pm today, which is earlier than the usual 8pm.
He was silent when I greeted him.
"Fine," I thought.
Later on, I heard loud vomiting in the toilet. I rushed to look, and saw that my dad is vomiting very severely. He was having having spasms and sounded quite incoherent when I asked him if he is ok.
My daddy is ill. And when he is not with us, no one will be there to care for him when he needs it anymore........
The image of my dad with his head over the toilet bowl just rendered me so helpless, and so upset. Suddenly, I dun give a shit about whether he betrayed my mum or not. I don't give a shit about whether he has been a good father all these years! He is still my dad, and I love him so much, and I don't wanna see him leave us!
I just can't stop crying now. I wanna tell him how much I love him, and that me and didi did not mean to be so hostile towards him... It doesnt mean we don't love him any more than our mum, its just that we are angry; angry with him for not caring enough about us.
He came out of the room just now, and I couldnt bring myself to give him a big embrace but instead meekly asked him whether he doesn't want me and my bro anymore.
He replied that he would come back to see us, silly girl. And with that he is back in his room.
It is so final. My family is falling apart, and I watched it do precisely that without doing anything to help at all. I am a failure of a daughter.
And I hope that filthy woman would just FUCKING DROP DEAD AND DIE. I hate her the most in the whole world. I hereby swear, that I would never, ever, go near a married man with a family, because I know the misery. Being a third party is one thing. All is fair in love and war, and if you win, you hurt one other person and thats it.
But if you break up a family, its an eternal crime, because for your own selfish happiness, you made many others so miserable. The wife cannot even, in her hurt, leave the husband because they have children, which they share... The children not only would not enjoy a normal childhood, they lose all respect for their parent as well. Its not worth it.
I hope Miss Tan goes to eternal hell. Why, why choose my dad of all people for her fucking horny cheebye? Pardon me, she deserves it.
-I need a shoulder to sob on-
