I am not gonna blog tonight, because I just got back from work at Ritz Carlton, and I am fucking pissed with my manager. Thus, I wrote a long long complain letter about him.
And I am gonna paste it here. It is boring like shit unless u know him (*wink wink, Peiying*), but still, I'm gonna paste it here to get u guys excited over a new post which is actually of no interest value.
Anyway, I served Senior Minister Lee today and being the bitch I am, I have absolutely no comments about him except one:
He is bloody wrinkled.
I have no idea why anyone can be so wrinkled.
In fact, when he was sitted down, all I could think of is that he is a wrinkled old man. When asked whether he would like his Evian by my manager, he replied "Yes, thank you" in perfect English and I almost jumped in shock. I have no idea why, but he just looks like a wrinkled old man to me and I sincerely expected him to answer in mumbled Hokkien that he demands beer instead of Evian (Si mi si Evian?). ("Wa ai lim tiger!! Ahh... Tiger ho ah, tiger...")
I think that I am bloody stupid as well, because I could not even understand the gist of his long speech. Not even the GIST. And to think I had to stand politely facing the audience pretending to look like the speech is the speech of the year.
Here's the complain letter.
Miss Wendy Cheng
Blk XX Teban Gardens Rd
#0X-XXX S(XXXXXX)
Phone number: 9XXXXXXX
To: The Human Resource Department
Ritz Carlton Millenia Singapore
RE: New Banquet Manager Mr Khor
To: Whom It May Concern,
I am writing this letter of complain on behalf of many banquet part-timers, many of which have years of experience with Ritz Carlton and are affected by the above-mentioned new banquet manager, Mr Khor. Their signatures are included at the end of this letter.
I personally have worked in Ritz Carlton for 8 months or so, and I consider myself a good worker who tries her best to contribute to upkeep Ritz Carlton�s image of excellence customer relationships. As a part-timer, the sole reason why I am devoted to the hotel is that my employers, such as Mr. Brendon and Mr. Selva, treats me well, and I�m sure that�s why my peers, whom I introduced to work here, do their utmost best for the company as well.
Recently Mr. Jordan Chan has been promoted to be the manager of Snappers restaurant, and because of this, Mr. Khor, previously working in Pan Pacific Hotel, has been recruited to take over Mr. Chan�s position.
Several unhappy events happened, and as a result, many of the more experienced staff have decided to leave Ritz Carlton to join other hotels, due to the incidents which involved Mr. Khor.
Currently, without many of the experienced staff helping, Ritz Carlton�s banquet department is short of able part-timers. About a few weeks ago I was not working as I was having my exams, and when I came back to work today, I saw with my own eyes the horrifying results. Chili sauce was poured to the brim of the saucers, cutlery were not arranged in the correct order, and apparently the new staff hired have no idea what they are doing at all. It�s a pain to see Ritz Carlton�s image going down because of this.
It did not use to be this way.
The following are the reasons why we are unhappy with Mr Khor:
He does not follow Ritz Carlton�s employee policy
Mr Khor was previously from Pan Pacific Hotel. Coincidentally, prior to working at Ritz Carlton, I worked at Pan Pacific Hotel as well, in the same department, which is banqueting. Mr. Khor treats Ritz Carlton as if it is Pan Pacific. I know this for sure because he applies the same attitude and manner Pan Pacific�s banquet managers treat their staff to Ritz�s staff as well.
For example, in Pan Pacific, a military kind of style is used to �discipline� the part-timers and push them to higher performances. Scoldings are done loudly and in front of plenty of people to achieve shame for the wrongdoer. The workers fear, therefore they perform.
I personally do not agree with using the rod instead of the carrot, which is why I switched hotels to work at Ritz Carlton. Here, I am very happy because I know Ritz Carlton�s policy for treating employees; the infamous �We are ladies and gentlemen, serving ladies and gentlemen�. Ritz wants its employees to be happy, so when they serve, they are cheerful. I know this because I did an interview with Mr. Anton once for a school project. However, Mr. Khor does not seem to adhere to this slogan at all. He does not treat Ritz Carlton�s employees as �Ladies and Gentlemen�. Furthermore, he is apparently trying to change Ritz Carlton into another Pan Pacific.
For example, in Pan Pacific Hotel, the females are told to stand with their hands held together in front of them, while the gentlemen to have their hands held behind them. Mr. Khor tried to force this method of standing to Ritz�s banquet staff as well.
When asked by a waitress on why we should stand this way, instead of giving a proper answer like �uniformity� or that it would look neater, he embarrassed her in front of everyone by giving a very crude answer. He replied that proper girls should cover their �in front� (for the hands would cover the female private parts), while the men should cover their behinds in case they get poked in their asses.
This kind of reply is not only extremely rude and insulting to both sexes, but also goes a step further to show Mr. Khor�s incompetence. When asked a simple rationale for his commands, he is not even able to give a proper reason to convince his staff to listen to him. How are we supposed to respect him this way?
But we know better than to question him, because his answers would be that we have no rights to challenge him and that he has the power to send us home immediately.
He has no respect for Banquet part-timers.
Mr Khor seemingly thinks that being a banquet manager makes him a superior being to all of the part-timers whom he can abuse as he wishes.
For example, which a simple reminder will do, he barks and makes sure everyone in the surrounding will stare at the victim, while he hurls on in anger. If a stray napkin is left on a table, instead of nicely prompt a waiter to pick it up, he shouts (I quote), �Leave there for what?! Wait for ME to pick up is it?!�
This kind of behaviour is absolutely unnecessary for small blunders (which is inevitable sometimes) and instead of making us fear him and listen to him, some of us rebel, and many even choose to quit.
No self-respecting employee would tolerate this kind of nonsense. To further wreck the situation, none of us respects Mr. Khor because we all think he is an incompetent manager and thus we would not even bother to try thinking that �maybe he is right�, but instead just brush off whatever he shouts.
He Abuses His Power
Mr. Khor also abuses his power by threatening employees.
In the past, Ritz Carlton�s staff are allowed to have dyed hair which is dark brown. Mr. Khor came into Ritz Carlton, and once, again, applying the same rules of Pan Pacific, decided that all Ritz Carlton�s banquet taskforce are supposed to have jet-black hair.
Personally, I have dark brown hair with blonde highlights. Mr. Khor asked me to spray my hair black, and so the next time I worked, I sprayed the blonde highlights black.
Mr. Khor saw my hair and is still unsatisfied with it. I told him I have already sprayed my hair, but he insisted that he can still see brown, and threatened to cut my pay by 2 hours should that happen again.
Today, I served the VIP table, which sat Senior Minister Lee. As far as the guests are concerned, my dark brown hair seems to be fine, and they are happy with my service. I do not see why dark brown hair should be a problem at all. (Indeed, the rest of the managers think it is perfectly fine too.) Yes, I understand that blonde hair may look a little too wild for work, but what is wrong with dark brown? It is almost indistinguishable from black in the ballroom.
I personally feel that Mr. Khor is abusing his powers by deducting people�s pay by 2 hours just because of a little bit of hair dye. I did 6 hours of standard work (which is totally not affected by my hair colour) for Ritz Carlton, and I think 6 hours of pay is fair for what I should get. Unless Mr. Khor can prove that my hair colour has managed to reduce the work (or standard of work) I did by 2 hours, he has no rights at all to just deduct pay like that.
By doing this, employees who got deducted would feel most bitter and ask themselves, �Why should I work for 6 hours when I am only paid for 4? I may as well slack all the way�. This would cause more ruin to Ritz Carlton�s standards of service.
He drags employment time without paying extra
Today, Mr. Khor told some of the ladies to do some work at the Grand Gallery. He himself stayed inside the ballroom supervising the other employees who are working there.
The majority of us are supposed to end our shifts at 12 am, and the transport comes at 12:30 am sharp.
The ladies did what he told us to, and when no one came to ask us to stop work at 12 am, we proceeded to inside the ballroom to ask Mr. Khor whether we are allowed to go home yet.
He was commanding the guys in the ballrooms to do work, and refused to acknowledge our question and instead just rudely walked into the grand gallery. Meanwhile, the guys who were working in the ballroom tried to ask him whether we can leave yet but gave up asking when Mr. Khor walked into the Grand Gallery, with the ladies tagging behind.
Mr. Khor looked around, and asked us whether we have finished doing what he asked us to do. The point is, it is already 12:10 am, and surely even if we are not able to finish, we should be allowed to leave? However, we did finish our chores and thus we said that we are done. He asked us to clear up some of the trolleys as well as some trays. He asked for us to go inside the ballroom after that.
When we went into the ballroom, he was having some pep talk with the ballroom staff, which is totally wasting the time of the people working in the Grand Gallery. After some time, he proceeded to ask me whether the Grand Gallery is cleared of miscellaneous items and I said yes. He sniggered and said that I am still not allowed to go home until he checked.
By the time he finished his talk and followed us to the Grand Gallery where he no doubt found areas to pinpoint us at, it was already 12:20 am. I was fuming by this point of time because I should have been bathing and changing my uniform at a leisurely pace. Mr. Khor is not paying us for work until 12:20 am, and I don�t see why I should waste my time to help him, and most certainly not as a personal favour.
If he does not manage to get his work done by a certain time, it is his own incompetence and none of my business. At 11:50 am, he should have came into the Grand Gallery to remind the ladies working there to pack up and wrap up work. However, he did nothing of that sort and wasted our time because we did not know that we had to keep the trolleys and trays (we thought the midnight shift staff would need to use them). As a result, I did not manage to change, get my voucher, and get my pay in time for me to catch the transport home and it is most certainly Mr. Khor�s fault.
In conclusion, I hope top management would quickly do something about this. Although in the eyes of a big hotel like Ritz Carlton, banquet part-timers may seem trivial but still, we are the ones the guests meet at the frontline and a cheery waiter can make a big difference to the way a guest views Ritz Carlton.
The banquet part-timers� team does not hope that Mr. Khor gets fired, but instead, hopes that someone would kindly remind him that he is no longer working in Pan Pacific but in Ritz Carlton and should stop abusing his position and start respecting his employees. If not, the amazingly rapid disappearance of quality (I assume quality staff are self-respecting as well) staff would bring Ritz Carlton�s banquet department to dire straits.
Yours Sincerely,
Wendy Cheng
Banquet Part-time Taskforce
******
Yup thats it. I wonder how many of u actually read it. Anyway, please do the survey from the previous entry?!! Please? So that I will have more statistics to comment on the sexuality of people nowadays! Haha...
Alright, nites people!
I'm feeling self-centred tonight. Lets just talk about me. Everyone wants to know more about me right? (If no, stop reading here and go to CNN.com to know more about the rest of the world.)
I am weird.
I am weird because when I visit the library to borrow books, I only like to borrow the green books. Green books just look nicer to read. Actually, the first novel I borrowed, without knowing the author, was a green book and I liked it a lot and thus I always borrow green books since then.
I am extremely irritated when people take photos with the camera tilted. I don't understand whats the POINT. Its ok for a real life camera (although its still pointless unless u happen to want to capture something far at the top corner) because you can always tilt a photograph back to see it properly after you develop it.
But for DIGITAL photos??! WTF? (I'm getting angry again). You cannot tilt you PC/lappie, can you??! CAN YOU?? If u wanna see the fellow clearly, u can only rotate the pic, and if u do that in photoshop u will get white corners around the bloody pic, spoiling the whole picture! I HATE PEOPLE WHO TAKE PHOTOS TILTED. I smack everyone who DARES to tilt my cybershot.
I absolutely ABHOR people who are attached and claim that they are "married" in friendster. If u are one such person, let me remind u... YOU ARE STILL CONSIDERED A SINGLE IN THE EYES OF LAW. You may argue its none of my business, but let me tell you, it is none your business whether I make the issue my business or not.
Anyway, back to my cynical point. If you are a person guilty of doing that, please change ur status back to "in a relationship". You do not know for a sure thing whether your partner if even WILLING to marry you or not, how can you say u are married? Your partner may say he/she is willing now, but when it boils down to the real facts, like fucking only u for the rest of his miserable life, he will most possibly change his mind and say he is not ready for such commitment.
He might even be fucking behind your back, and here u are, stupidly telling everyone u and him are "married" (while his mistress sniggers away reading). When he ditches you, I WILL LAUGH THE LOUDEST WHEN YOU CHANGE THE STATUS TO "SINGLE" (What, not "divorced"? So fast break ah, I thought u guys stable until gonna get married??).
I cannot stand people who give mushy testimonials to their partners in friendster. No one is asking me to read, I know... But I get goosebumps when I accidentally read one before realising what I am doing. Ok, I admit I am jealous... JUST A LITTLE BIT. But not for the previous point.
I love cheap thrills.
Nothing beats smacking a mosquito to death.
And then I like filling up my facial blotter to the max and using it to scare people.
I am an artist, but I do not enjoy drawing at all. I just like the praises that come after I finish artwork.
No one can beat me at Bejeweled! My highest score is 128,000 and no living human can beat that. If you can, you don't have a life.
Suddenly, I decided I am lazy to continue the list, although there is much more to write, coz I just wrote a long email trying to convince a guy to break off with his gf who is studying in Australia.
I shall copy it here for the benefit of the people here who have partners studying in Australia.
Here it is:
"Haha... Australia is TERRIBLE! In my very blatant opinion, it is time to ditch Andrea... Let me explain.
Aussies have nothing to do after 9pm so they have sex. And then Andrea has nothing to do after 9pm, and then calling u is expensive, so she might start to feel a wee bit lonely.
And then her friends would convince her that she should try fcuking an Angmoh because supposedly they have huge dicks.
"Oh C'mon Andrea! Its just ONE! (*Insert angmoh name*) is so CUTE! And he is Soooo into you! Just ask him over to your room tonight! I heard he is REAL good!"
And then Andrea, despite feeling terribly guilty, decided to try just... one... angmoh. After all she has satisfied all her craving for jappie takeshi look-alikes (My guy looks a little like the said actor)and its time for a change.
Nope, I'm not saying u shld ditch Andrea because she had sex with an angmoh. I'm getting to my point.
ONE IN THREE AUSTRALIANS HAVE HERPES.
And being the selfish twits Australians are (look how expensive kangaroo skin is, despite them being quite plentiful), they want to spread herpes to the rest of the world so that they would not alone be exterminated. The condom Andrea and (*insert angmoh name*) use, will have a hole in it.
1 out of 3, you are thinking... So its a 66.6% chance that you should not break with her, you calculate. WRONG. Don't take chances coz HERPES CANNOT BE CURED. Its a lifetime disease.
Still not convinced? Heres another theory. Look, if you are about to fuck only ONE angmoh in your life, you would make damn sure it is gonna be a smashing experience. A smashing experience, is only gonna come true with good looking people.
Good looking people get a lot of sex. Lets call them category "A" people.
And then lets take 3 average groups of people. "A" is the good-looking sex people. "B" would be your average nerd. "C" are old people.
Now, which group, out of the 3, is likely to the ones having herpes?
You are getting my point, amidst slowly.
My point is Andrea is possibly on her way to see a doctor about her condition now.
I see you are not panicking yet. You are thinking, even if this really happens, you and her relationship is not one of only physical satisfaction. Afterall she has been your soulmate for 5 long years.
You can do without sex with her, until she gets a sex check up.
Now the problem is she will not go get a sex check up just like that. People just DO NOT go for check ups like everyday.
If you ask her to go for a check up, there could be two possiblities.
1) She breaks down, cries, and tells you she has herpes and will you please forgive her for her infidelity while you twitch in horror of her paws on you.
2) She did not fuck any angmoh (actually she did but did not get herpes coz she was the one bringing the condom), and gets very very insulted that you do not trust her after the 5 years of the relationship, and breaks with you anyway.
You are traumatizied already.
You are thinking u would just abstrain from sex with her.
Whats the point of the relationship then?!
In conclusion, break with Andrea after her exams."
Names have been changed to protect the Herpes-infected.
*****
Here are the pictures for the Zouk Halloween party as I promised!
Leave comments please? :D
*****
I got a poll that I want everyone to do properly. Its the same as the one on the guestbook and I am really interested to know the poll results (so do all of you) and so please please do it correctly?
I thought of the question (and answers) myself. Although it sounds a bit pervertic, but I think it is quite interesting coz the answers are really varied.
Ok here is goes:
Imagine this situation. YOU ARE A MALE.
Saddam Hussein appears one day in your life and abducted the person you love the most in the whole wide world. (This person cannot be a supreme being please.)
He calls you up, and with the voice of your loved one in the background, asks you to go to this warehouse.
When you appear, you see him holding your loved one at gunpoint. As a very sick joke, he asks you to choose one of the following to fuck. Remember u are a male, not a female.
He says, if you do not choose, he would shoot the brains out of your loved one, right before you eyes.
Please rank the following alternates to fuck, with 1 being the first choice and 6 being the last choice. RANK, not choose one, k?
1) A 5 year old girl. You do not know her. She is quite pretty.
2) A female donkey of relative cleanliness.
3) Your father's best friend. He is male, aged 55 and is not good looking and quite balding.
4) Gisele Bundchen. Or any supermodel of your choice. Very very beautiful, a peeeerfect body with nice boobs. There's a catch. She died 10 minutes ago of a heart attack.
5) A 75 year old granny. Not related to you. Relatively smelly. Too wrinkled to see whether she was once pretty or not, definite is not now.
6) Your own elder sister, who is 2 years older than you.
Rank!
In case you are wondering,
- No, you are not allowed to use a condom.
- Yes, you do know your father's best friend.
- No, you are NOT allowed to close your eyes while shagging.
- Yes, you can choose to fuck the donkey at its vagina or anus.
- Yes, I know the question only requires you to choose one but I want you to rank anyway.
Ok I'll start off with my answers first. Please do it properly! =)
Read The Full Article
MRT irritants continued...
Muahahhahahahha!!!
I wish I brought along a pair of scissors yesterday. Some uncle who sat next to me did precisely the shirt sleeve tickling thingy. I squirmed, I moved, and squeezed, yet nothing I did could escape this filthy sleeve (the rhyme is not intentional). If only I had a pair scissors! I would cut off the cretin's sleeve and save the rest of the world from his tickling!
No use dreaming about it now.
I used to have long curly hair right? And its all over the place... If I still have my curly hair, I would tickle his face with it! Let him have a taste of his own medicine. But no! My rebonded hair is so bloody flat.
The pair of scissors would have another use as well. The uncle STINKS. I could threaten him with it and he would move seats. Now, why do some people smell so much? Wait, I think I dun wanna know. The fellow sat beside me and my nostrils were filled with his horrible stench. WTF? This is not fair! I did not pay $1.35 or something to smell rotten eggs!
I suggest, that everyone should go through a smell test when they enter the MRT. If you stink, you would be asked to go into the smelly chamber to travel to your destination. In the smelly chamber would be tons of other smelly people, and if you stink and you can't smell yourself, perhaps you can smell others.
Imagine this scene...
Smelly Uncle: *beep* (EZlink sound)
-A very loud TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!-
MRT personnel rush out, clad in gas masks, ala SDU style.
Personnel 1: "Alert alert! Smelly bastard detected! Do not let him escape!!"
Personnel 2: "Roger roger! Target found and surrounded!"
Personnel 3: "Roger! I have got target. Assistance needed. Beware, stench is grade 5, almost lethal!"
Personnel 1: "Well done. Thank goodness for the gas masks. Can you imagine if this fellow sits beside the famous blogger Xiaxue? I dun want her to die? She seems to be a big fan of SMRT."
Smelly uncle: "Where you all siao kias taking me to? I just never bathe for 10 days only, the gas mask is a bit too kua zhang right??!"
Personnel 1: "Sir, you shall go straight to the smelly chamber, the end of the MRT. In there, you would see all the smelly bastards like yo.."
Smelly uncle, interrupting, "I AM NOT SMELLY!"
Personnel 1 slaps the Smelly Uncle with a heavily padded hand. Some debris caked on the uncle's face falls off. The uncle heaved a deep breath and the breath comes out in a light green misty colour.
Personnel 1, with delibrate patience: "You are FUCKING smelly. And DO NOT INTERRUPT ME!", he boomed.
Personnel 1 grins cheekily at Personnel 3, whom he thinks must be impressed with his authority and volume. Personnel 3 happens to have very nice breasts.
The Smelly Uncle whimpers.
Personnel 1: "As I was saying... You would be with the rest the smelly people. Sitting with you would also be all the bangala who are caught either 1: Holding hands with another bangala, or, 2, caught oogling at females. They could also be stinky of course."
The Smelly Uncle shudders. He thinks that the Bangalas might come hold his hand, but he forgot he stinks so that would not happen.
Personnel 1: "We have also caught some other offenders as well, although these people might not deserve so much to be in the Smelly Chamber. They are people who tickle others with skirts, or sleeves, or scratchy curly hair. We also catch people who play with ringtones on the MRT.
"These people are punished to put a 3310 to their ear and listen to the same ringtone on level 5 all the way till they reach their destination. This would teach them how it feels like to be an innocent traveller who has to tolerate this torment every time a similarly bo liao person does the ringtone testing.
"We also catch people who sing on the MRT. Are they stupid or stupid? They think that when they have earphones in their ears, they cant hear their own goddamn singing so others cannot hear them as well. What bullshit. We punish this people to listen to F4 songs all the way till they reach their destination too."
By now the Smelly Uncle has pee-ed in his pants, making, weirdly, no difference to the way he smells.
*****
Yes. If I rule the world, the MRT system would really be good, no?
I just set up a friendster account for my INTERNET SELF. I actually quite like being shizophrenic (if I spelt it correct). It is Miss Xiaxue, so do add me as a friend if u read my blog?? Pretty please? My email add is xiaxue_blog@yahoo.co.uk! You can access my page here!
Muahahhahahha! And I will pay everyone who writes me a good testimonial $0.015, which is what Starhub charges per second of usage!! Teehee...
Meanwhile, I think I shall blog tml, coz I just came back from a wedding dinner at One Fullerton Hotel! Quite a disappointment if you ask me... I got pictures too! Show you guys tml!
Add me ah!
Yesterday we went to Aaron's Drag competition in Zouk! It was great!
This is stupid, but I just feel like uploading this photo.
Anyway, apparenly it was butch and gay night, and nobody can be sure of anyone's sexuality yesterday night. 2 butches asked for June's number. WTF? They are shorter than her! So weird!
June is a butch magnet! (She is the one is the middle in case you are new to my blog. P/s: You could read character intro to get less confused. The tab is on the right, baby...)
I have a class chalet going on and I am late for it! Oh damn, I'm still gonna blog!
Yesterday I mentioned that discovering blogger is one of the best things that happened to me. To further prove that correct, my long-lost primary school best friend, Yee Yen, whom I had tried very hard to find, saw my blog and gave me an email!! Yaay! I am very happy! Hahaha...
-Hello Yee Yen!-
Anyway, I decided on one thing that Singapore should ban. It is infinitely worse than chewing gum.
It is bad advertisements.
The first of the bad ads list, would definitely be the KFC finger licking ad. IT IS TOO GROSS FOR WORDS. Who the FUCK would go lick their mother's fingers?? Finger-licking is a sexual act (due to the phallic shape of the finger) and will always remain that way.
Even if your mother is blind and you want her to get all reminiscent about the past when you still licked her fingers for her (goodness knows that else the mum asked him to do?), you don't go about licking her fingers in front of the other members of the family like that. There are many many things you could do to get her to remember who you are.
For example, say your name? Duh!
Incest is a no-no for our younger generation. I imagine some young girl would think licking fingers is a correct thing to do in case her uncle got blind one day... And then she licks the uncle's fingers... And the uncle gets aroused... And asks her to lick something else...
You may say I am pervertic. But what I have said is true! Its not that we don't know about pervertic uncles around.
The next ad they should get rid of is the freaking Chihuahua ad of Coca Cola.
The stupid advert is so meaningless, that I keep getting it mixed up with the also red ad of McDonald's "i'm lovin it", which is equally dumb but not THAT irritating.
Actually, the chihuahua ad is not that bad till the day before yesterday, when I had yet another traumatizing experience on the MRT.
I was taking the last train home, and it was fairly empty.
Just before I reached Jurong East, I was fully awakened from my groggy state but this bunch of stupid mudds. They were, as usual, conversing loudly, but I somehow managed to drown them out in my sleep.
They begin to hum a techno tone, innocently enough. I thought to myself, "Thank god they have run out of stupid topics to say. At least the humming is softer."
Just as I was feeling quite pleased, they suddenly erupted into a thunderous "CHIHUAHUA!!!!!!!"
I almost had a heart attack. I wanted to ask them to SHUT THE FUCK UP, but I am afraid they would hit me with their guitars, fake Gucci bags, yo-yos and kick me with a tapered jeans leg.
Urgh. Thankfully, it was Jurong East already, and I alighted from the train feeling very glad.
I walked quickly, without looking back at them.
I think they were haivng great fun seeing me jump into the air in shock. This time, without the humming, they erupted into another "CHIHUAHUA!", this time very near my ear. No doubt, this is delibrate. I can almost imagine the cretins grinning to each other and counting with their fingers to scare me at the same time.
I almost had a seizure, but walked fast into the bus interchange anyway, without looking back at them again. I had to tolerate the Chihuahua song all the way till I reached my bus stop.
Now, this whole incident is Coca Cola's fault. Its not the Mudds' fault. They just have the brains of llamas and would suck in anything they see from TV. It is fucking Coca Cola's fault for releasing such a STUPID ad with absolutely no purpose except to irritate. Whats the brand message? That Coca Cola loves silly little dogs? That people should drink Coca Cola on the train and then have a mass orgy?
Without Coca Cola's recent ad, I would not have almost had a heart attack on the MRT.
There are other incidents on the trains which irritated me.
I absolutely hate people who do not shift places on the train. If you have an empty seat on your right and on your left, would you shift to either empty seat so that a pair of friends could sit together?
I would, because thats the polite thing to do. Why would I want to sit in between them to make sure they cannot speak to each other?
Being the shameless self I am, when such a thing happens, I would ask the person to shift seats, if they are not proactive enough.
Usually the person would move seats politely enough, but I remember there was this once, I asked this stupid auntie to move. She proceeded to give me a very reluctant and disgusted look and kept quiet.
WTF? Are people that stupid and rude? If she doesnt want to move coz she thinks that that particular seat has good fengshui, TELL ME. Don't keep quiet like an idiot.
June and I stared at each our thinking why is she behaving so weirdly.
She proceeded to the dumbest thing in history. She moved HALF A SEAT.
June and I stared at each other in puzzlement.
Soon we realised her rationale for doing that. She patted the other half of the seat.
SO. So she thought that the seat is too hot for her to sit on.
OMG. I cannot stand stupid chinese aunties who STILL believe, in this advanced era, that sitting on a warm seat would give you zits on your butt. Can you please tell me why such stupid people exist?? And why??? WHY must I always encounter them?? I did not murder! I did not rape! I do not deserve this! Why do stupid people keep bothering me??
I know how to deal with people who do not shift their seats already.
You and your friend would proceed to seat on either side of the inconsiderate twit and yak to each other as if he/she is a table and not a person. This would no doubt irritate him to death. If the person doesn't look like he kills for a living, you and your friend can even complain loudly about how you wish some people would be more considerate so that you guys can talk side by side instead of being blocked by some freaking person who plain refuses to move although it would not harm him in any way.
Yesterday yet another incident happened.
I was sitting down, feeling quite drowsy, and promptly fell asleep, with Jay Chou humming in my ears gently...
Suddenly, I got jolted awake by an acute tickling on my bare knees. I woke up feeling very irritated. Standing before me was this fat lady with a long loose skirt. The MRT is not that crowded, so I don't see any reason why she should stand so close to my legs, unless she is trying to stare down at my cleavage, which is impossible because
1) She has bigger boobs
2) I was wearing a turtleneck.
I tried to sleep again, but the tickling got worse, and you have to understand how freaking irritating that is? I tried to move my legs this way and that, but I cannot, try as I might, move away from her giant flowery skirt's claws.
I decided I do want to nap on, and that I did nothing to deserve this torture from her, so I woke up, took out my earphones, gave her a smile, and mentioned lightly to her that her SKIRT IS TICKLING MY KNEES.
She gave me a dazed look, not unlike the auntie's when I asked her to move seats.
She stared on at me, as if saying, "What are you talking about, stupid little girl? I don't have time to listen to your nonsense, so speak up!"
I repeated myself, this time loudly and clearly.
She actually smiled, and said, "Where?"
WHICH PART OF "YOUR SKIRT IS TICKLING MY KNEES" DID SHE NOT FUCKING UNDERSTAND??
What does she mean by "where?". SKIRT tickling KNEES! Did she not understand where her skirt is, or does she think that my knees are on my face?
URGH!! Another dumb person! This one is worse, she takes 3 years to understand a simple sentence.
After pointing to my knees to show her "where" I was referring to, she did not bulge. NOT A LITTLE BIT. I have not seen such a rude person! I decided there is nothing I can do about it, so I tried to sleep again, cursing her silently that she would lose all her eyebrows tomorrow.
To add to my fury, she "accidentally" hit me with her freaking plastic bag. The first time, I kept quiet.
The second time she did that, I did a very loud "TSK!" and gave her the most vindictive and monsterous look I can muster. I proceeded to stand up, in the pretence of adjusting my skirt.
This has two wonderful effects, the first being that she would have to move back when I stand up, and the second is that she would have false hope that she would have a seat to sit on.
She can DREAM ON. Even if I had to sit all the way to Boon Lay, I would not give up my seat to her.
For the rest of the journey, she did not tickle me anymore. I think I scared her. Haha!
-Half of the brain cells inside the average MRT belong to me-
Quite a long time ago, PY, EK and XF had a discussion about my blog.
I can't remember the full details, but I remember PY said something about me becoming very ya-ya about the high readership (I know its not very high actually but I'm not used to the sudden amount of strangers reading it). Suddenly, due to the amount of attention I am getting from my readers, the blog became a big part of my life.
Every other sentence would be about "my blog."
XF says that I no longer treasure her opinions like before. For example, if she says that a necklace is ugly, I would counter-claim that thats not true because my blog readers say it is nice.
PY said I have became very self-centred.
EK had an even more severe claim. She said that my blog would finally become my downfall.
Those are all friends who are very very important to me. I weighed it out for a moment, and almost stopped blogging totally. I thought, "if my blog affects my friendship with them, I would sacrifice the blog."
Ardent readers would know that i stopped blogging for a long period of time. At that point of time when I needed the most support from my readers to tell me that they want me to continue writing, there were a multitude of spammers. The freaking spammers kept insulting me, adding to my determination to stop this nonsense once and for all. Afterall, who needed extra hurt from silly people from the internet which I don't even know?
Yet I continued blogging, because I am a blabbermouth and when I do not have friends listening to me complain, I NEED AN OUTLET TO BITCH AT. Thats why, my first entry after a long rest, consisted of me complaining about Eddy, Adryan and Bernard all being attached at the same time.
As for my friends, I decided simply to not mention the sore topic of the blog in front of them again. Of course, I would learn to treasure their opinions more (its a bit too late, XF doesnt seem to talk to me alot nowadays), and be more people-centred. The blog is my internet persona, and nothing much to do with real life.
Yet, it does.
Because of the previous entry, I decided that starting a blog is one of the best things that happened to me.
My previous entries all had one common aim. To make people smile. Afterall, there is enough sorrow in the world, who wants to read about despair and death?
Yet when the divorce happened, I felt like talking to no one, and decided that I shall write it down in blogger.
Immediately, I received the 1st 3 comments. I felt much better already after blogging, and felt comforted when I read what my readers gave me as encouragements and feedback.
Besides many people sending me emails and leaving comments, blogger brought me closer to friends as well. Some of them read about what happened, and gave me a call immediately, like June and Peiying. Others sent me smses asking me to stay strong, which I will!
Thanks alot to everyone for the care and concern! I am really touched because you people are not my real-life friends, and are not obligated to do anything for me at all. And to my real life friends to told me that you guys would be there for me when I need you all, I knew you would be there, even without you telling! =)
Enough of the mushy stuff already! Haha... I'm back to my cheery mood and I wanna, as usual... complain.
Friendster
Due to me putting my address on friendster, the blog has reached a scaringly high amount of readers I day. (I dont dare to count). This is not a good thing because:
1) I am not getting paid for the publicity. Ads, anyone?
2) I don't like being recognised everywhere I go.
3) I wrote lotsa bad stuff about real life people and they are discovering it one by one.
See, nowadays, every few days or so I get an email or IRC people coming to tell me that they saw me on the streets. One reader said he saw me on the MRT while I was on my way home. He claimed that I was doing nothing except looking at my clie all the time.
He thinks he knows, but he has no idea.
Its not as simple as looking at my clie. Had he been more curious and tried to see what could be so interesting in my clie, he would realise I am reading a porn novel. Skimming through a page would give you many words like "pulsating wet little cleft", "big pink nipples", "Spanked her pubic lips", "his cock was so hard he was about to explode soon", you get the drift.
There. I don't like having my real life secrets being shown to the internet world. In here, I remain a bitch who just keeps writing. You guys do not know that I look horrid without make-up, I am really short, I eat on the MRT as if I own it, I talk too loudly, I have a fat tummy, etc. In short, I have no sense of shame and my pictures are all edited.
You think you know, but you have no idea. (Thats my fav phrase nowadays)
And about point 3. I started out the blog by telling only 2 people about it. One, June, and two, Elf, who is an internet friend, because he has a blog and I wanted to know more about HTML and how to even start blogging. The point is, I started bad-mouthing people as if its nobody's business, because I thought the victims would never read it anyway.
And then I see the web counter hopping, and I think to myself, what a wonderful world! Oops! I mean, I think to myself, "Aww, so what if XX reads my blog coz XX is in friendster? XX would no bother to open the archives to read everything la!".
So I smugly relax at home not bothering to read up my pass entries to censor off relevant names I mentioned.
Boy am I wrong! Suddenly I get many "I wanna clarify something with you," calls and emails. I'm in deep shit! But heck it. What I wrote were my true feelings AT THAT POINT OF TIME. I might have been angry and frustrated, and now, what I wrote might not stand true anymore, so don't get offended if I wrote something bad about you! Oh fuck it. If you wanna be offended, go ahead. I don't care.
How insincere can I get. Aww but you must forgive me, I am a girl whose parents are getting a divorce! (Haha I think I can use this excuse to act all weak and vulnerable. Maybe I can use it as an excuse not to do projects! I'm kidding.)
I am really embarrassed that many people have read my archives. A coursemate told me she just read thru my archives, and while I speak to her, she lightly mentioned things that I wrote before. Eg I tell her I wanna buy chicken wings, she says, "Make sure there aren't any cockroaches in it!"
I would proceed to give a confused look. I have no idea what she is talking about! Turns out it is about some silly blog entry.
I decided already! As the author, I should be the one who knows all about my blog, and not others! So, I went to re-read my entries and got quite nauseated.
I don't know since when, but I suddenly decided that I shall stop using words like "dun", "wun", "frenz" etc. As I review my writing style of the past, I thought, "What a fucking ah lian."
To think I actually has my emotions written in this form: *Smilez*, *traumatized!*
What the! So gross! Yikes.
Lets abruptly jump into another topic.
My Epilator
I wanna get fairer. I believe that being fairer means I would look richer, and that would help me achieve the image that I want! A few weeks ago, I asked Shuyin whether me, or another girl in my course, is fairer. She said that faces are almost the same, but her arms are fairer than mine.
I looked at my arms accusingly, and saw the culprit.
HAIR.
I am fucking hairy. The hairs on my arm can grow up to 1 cm in length. It is also jet black and dense. Oh alright be disguested all you want, but I take pride that at least those hairs are not curly.
But no. I am not gonna have dark arms anymore. Since my arm hairs covered around 40% of my arms, I assume that if I removed them all I am gonna become 40% fairer? Great.
So I bought a Philips Epilator!
What the fuck is an epilator?
Welcome to the world of pain. I heard people mentioning that women always use torture tools for beauty. When I asked (usually the guys) what kinda torture tools they are talking about, they usually mention eye-lash curlers.
They think they know, but they have no idea.
Eyelash curlers do NOT HURT AT ALL. An epilator is a must-have for all the masochists out there. The technology is to pull out hairs but this spinning device which will clamp the hairs in it. And its not one hair at a time, mind you. Its as many hairs as the epilator's surface can take at one go.
I thought I have a high tolerance of pain, but I have no idea. This machine had me whimpering like Michelle Saram, and to think I actually paid $120 for it! Ah... Men had commented that I am mad to spend money like that.
My reply is that THEY will never know the pain of shaving armpit hair once every two days. Men can only shrug their shoulders. They are the ones complaining if, god forbid, women have armpit hairs.
Lets jump abruptly to my next topic. I am running late for playing LAN with Idris!
Moles
My friend has this colleague who has a mole in her ear.
No big deal, most people have moles on their ears. You think you know, but you have no idea! Her mole looks like this:
I have something against big moles. If you have a big mole, I don't mean to offend you, but you are disgusting and please get it removed? Especially if yours has hairs sticking out of it.
Whever I see her, I feel very tempted to go, "Moley moley moley!" ala Goldmember style. Very tempting, but very rude.
"Hi, nice to mole you!" *Slaps self* Ok enough already.
And I hope that said colleague doesn't EVER read my blog.
Anyway, my point is, the said colleague, lets call her Fizzycola (I'm trying to think of a word that is as far as possible from her name so that if she ever types "Stephanie" and "Mole" in a search engine she would never find my blog. Oh wait, did I just say her name??).
Fizzycola was talking to another colleague's daughter in the shop. My friend was present as well. The colleague's daughter is usually very friendly and talkative, but when Fizzycola was speaking to her, she gave this dazed look and did not look at Fizzycola when Fizzycola yakked on.
I feel quite bad coz Fizzycola is actually quite nice. But this is too funny to let go.
Anyway, the colleague saw what happened and thought her daughter was behaving very rudely. So, she told her daughter off.
"Ah girl, why just now Fizzycola jie jie talk to you you don't answer her? Very rude you know?!"
"I'm sorry mummy... She talking to me meh? I didn't know coz I thought she talking on the handphone. I was thinking why the earpiece don't have wire one..."
My friend almost had liver cancer trying to curb her laughing.
-I wanna say... Dear little girl, earpieces do not have hairs on them.-
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