Why people are so stupid to think that I should be insulted by the spoof, when its entirely written by myself in the name of a fictitious character, really baffles me.
2004-01-24
Oh my holy shit I am so freaking dead.
I have COMPLETELY forgotten that today is the 24th of January 2004, which is also the test date for my SATs.
I only knew around 10 minutes ago in Alvin's car when I was complaining that my SAT is coming up, and when he asked when, I said 24th, which somehow, in some delusion, I thought would be in another say.. TWO WEEKS or so?
But no. Its today. I have not studied, I have no idea what the hell an SAT paper looks like, and I don't even have 2B pencils. Oh wait, think I stole a few from Ritz (Bloody cheapo yes). But heck, I paid $80, and I must take a chance.
Wish me luck people. I would really love to blog on, but I am too busy biting my nails off and typing with one hand is really difficult.
-Pray for me, I need it.-
2004-01-22
Have been busy the past few days, thus no blogging, and suddenly, its CNY again!!
I swear I will smash the next TV which goes "Chun lian hong! Chun lian hong!". But actually I wouldn't coz I secretly like that song.
But thats not the point.
The point is, I got lots and lots to blog about, and I will do it on my clie tml, while other people are busy attacking food and chatting with useless small talk...
I hope everyone has a happy happy new year, and collect much more angpow money than Adryan, who is by far the person I know with most, averagely 700 bucks. Lucky git.
If you are a parent then I hope you have very normal looking ang pow packets so that even when you give very little money no one will remember its you.
=D
Ba kua here I come!!
2004-01-19
Just won $6 in mahjong. Yaaay!
Me: "I hate people who patronise me. I hate it when people are too lazy to answer so they just say 'I don't know.'"
Alvin: "Why?"
Me: "I don't know la. Just don't like."
Alvin: -__-||
2004-01-18
Girls girls listen up!!!
Whats this?
Its the John little warehouse sale at Expo!!
Everything there is so FREAKING cheap!!! I went there with June and Gwenne the day before, and bought $150 worth of stuff. However if you go tml there will be lotsa people as it is a Sunday. Go there dressed in tight clothes (so that u can try on the clothes by just pulling it over), and bring a light sling bag. Be sure to elbow the aunties mercilessly. It will be best if you look slightly crazy, so that people are scared off.
You will be given this big plastic bag to throw in all the stuff you want. Move along, and take everything that pleases you. You can dump anything you don't want later. NO TIME NO TIME!
Heres June and Gwenne throwing out the loot they don't want.
Pictures pictures...
Pink Camisole. $9 bucks.
Double-breasted Coat, complete with lining and stuff. 15 freaking dollars.
Pierre Cardin full set bra and panty. $10!!
Pierre Cardin again, with Felancy bra. Latter costs 2 for $10.
Some nonsense perfume that smells (and looks) like Hugo Boss!! 2 for $10.
MAKE-UP!!!
OMG I am getting so excited.
Whitia powder, which I don't use. Intend to sell it on Yahoo! Auctions. Usual price $26. I BOUGHT IT at $9.90!
ZA two-way cake refill!!! (Currently only dark shades left, I'm so sorry, dears.) Usual price, around $16. I GOT IT AT $8.95!! I bought FOUR.
Maybelline Diamond Shine Lip Gloss, $8 usual price $14.
Nonsense brand eyeshadow in dark brown, my typical make-up must have. $4.90. I bought FOUR. Blusher, $6.90.
WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
I am king!!!
WAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Its so freaking cheap, cannot stand it.
I bought the new Loreal Mascara at Watsons though, with a $3 discount, so its $20.90.
Its abso-fucking-lutely good!! Its the only mascara which claims to lengthen your lashes to fake lashes standards, and really does it.
Here, living proof.
Before.
Amazing ah! I swear no photoshop done.
I apologize for being so late in sharing this wonderful piece of news, because I have been really busy recently packing clothes.
Lots and lots of clothes, which shall all be either given to the salvation army, or sold at yahoo auctions.
I think my clothes are scary. And this is only half. Theres still those in the other cupboard....
I found this sweatshirt which was designed by me and sent for printing for my NCC group. Ah... Such sweet memories...
2004-01-17
There was this couple in front of me when I was on the bus.
I sit behind them, directly behind the guy and ajacent the girl.
All was fine and sunny and I am feeling happy because all was fine and sunny.
Suddenly, the girl pecked the guy on the cheek.
The guy smiled, and pecked her back on the cheek.
They had a smooching competition to see who could peck more.
The girl won, and smiled triumphantly at the guy.
The guy looked at her, and gave her a sudden smooch on the lips while the girl tried to act surprised.
I got really pissed off and nudged the guy on his back with my knee (with the seat in between us of course).
He seems to feel that pretty much arousing so he smooched her more.
I nudged him harder.
He continued the smooch, and most disgustingly, the girl was STILL acting surprised.
So I took out a Ritz Carlton matchbox set his hair on fire.
"Oooh! Help help!", he cried, as he tried, with no avail, to stop the flames from spreading to his sideburns (no puns intended).
I smirked as I folded my arms. I sat back to enjoy the show. I sat back not because I wanted to act cool but because the fire was making it a little hot to sit close to the subject of interest.
The girl was in major distress.
She screamed her head off.
Serve her right for smooching in front of me. I bet she is the kind that smooches on escalators too. The next time I see couples smooch on the escalator, I shall stop the escalator suddenly and pretend to point at the some old uncle and say he did it. The couple will be halted in their smooching and might, if luck prevails, have knocked each other's teeth off with the sudden jerk.
So anyway, I slapped the girl and asked her to shut the fuck up.
She begged me to save her bf between mouthfuls of mucus. The rest of the bus heck-cared her coz they are watching the 14th rerun of Star Awards.
So I said, "No, coz you and him just ruined my fine and sunny day. Plus your boobs are small. I don't talk to people with small boobs. Speak to my hand."
"Please! Save him! He is dying!"
The guy seems to have extinguished the fire when we both turned to look at him. One uncle had poured a can of Jia jia Herbal Tea on his head mumbling something about how vile that concoction is. The bf seems at peace with himself and was curiously touching his hair with his index finger gently.
"Look darling!", he addressed the girl, not looking at her but checking out his reflection on the bus window. "Afro hair!!"
The TV Mobile screen flashed Fann Wong's previous appearances during past Star Awards including the year where she wore green shorts and had the exact same hair the BF has. I exploded into laughter. (no offence to Idris whatsoever.)
"OMG I am so happy you are fine!!!", said the girl. A guy at the back of the bus started to play a sad tune on his violin.
She rushed over to him, all filled with tears and stuff, and smooched him on his lips, despite it having bits of burnt hair on it.
I set fire to his hair again.
It is a fine, sunny day afterall.
2004-01-16
Why the hell am I doing this instead of sleeping....
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