For those who have been checking back these few days, I'm really sorry for the lack of updates. I understand how that feels, coz being the Maddox addict I am, I often check out to his site to find its still the exact same post, and I feel like whacking him.
But of course I can't do that coz he has giant balls and he might hit me with them. I am scared.
But thats not the point of course. The point is why I can't update these few days.
This is because
1) Everyone else reading blogs will be reading about other people's chinese new year shit and I don't want to bore you more but telling you what a smashing new year I had, besides losing $30 to the Jie (pronounced as G) family yesterday and very stupidly shaking their hands at the end of the day saying,
"Gong xi fa cai!! Zu ni feng du bi ying!", which roughly translates to me wishing they will win everytime they gamble. The only problem is that most of the time they gamble with me.
Huifen gave a little grimace when I said that. She possibly thinks "Can't say the same for you!", but never mind.
2) All the bullshit aside, the real reason why I didn't blog is because my uncle formatted my computer. Its rude and mean to speak badly of people, but I shall do it anyway because you guys don't know my uncle and if you were me you will boil too.
See, some time a few weeks ago my computer had no less than 79 viruses. Yes, its a freaky amount. I was totally appalled and told my mum about it, and being the typical auntie she is, she freaked out too. I told her I would get a com expert friend to come to our place to help sort it out, but I don't think she believed in an average pimply teenager to handle the 79 formidable viruses.
One fine day, I awoke to my uncle sitting at the com desk. In replacement of the typical look of the computer was the big shiny blue buttons of windows XP instead of our old 98.
I got totally freaked out, and asked him, "YOU FORMATTED THE COMPUTER AH??!"
He said he didn't, and he was merely changing the OS, coz my mum complained to him that there are a lot of viruses.
Now thats fucking stupid.
He changed the OS coz he wanted to uninstall all the programs, so that whatever virus is there will be uninstalled as well. The obvious error is that the viruses files will still be in the computer! They will come back no matter what OS we have! DUH!
I have no idea why middle aged men have to act like they are damn good at computers when they are obviously NOT. It really really pisses me off.
Another uncle, for example, is just another average joe who can operate Word ok. He thinks he is damn good at computers. My mum trusts him more than she trusts me, just cos he is older, and he is a guy.
But he is really deluded. He used to tell my mum that our computer kanna virus because I have a wallpaper.
WHAT THE *TOOT*?!!
A fucking .jpg file can cause a freaking virus??! Thats the first time I heard such things. Its pure, untreated, organic bullshit. With that my mum forbade wallpapers on my computer, which was the start to a lot of quarrels.
Mum "Wallpaper again! How many times must I tell you??!"
Me: "Please lor its just a picture file! No virus one la! How can a picture coming out from my digicam have a virus??! You please don't listen to uncle's nonsense la! He thinks he is damn good but he doesn't know anything lor!"
Mum: "You don't put it will die is it?"
Me: "Thats not the point mah!"
Mum: "Yeah maybe it doesnt cause the virus, but cannot just play safe and don't put it meh? Just to make me happy can or not?"
Me: "Then put the stupid clouds can, put my pictures cannot?"
Mum: "That one is already in the computer what!"
Me: "My picture also already in the computer what!"
Mum: "Just take it off."
See? Stupid uncle's fault.
He also thinks that by having irc in the computer, you will automatically get viruses. And of course he told that to my mum as well. He doesnt know that in irc you will not get files unless you accept them, and of course I wouldn't be so dumb as to accept mysterious files.
The previous times my com got viruses, he used to come and give it a cure, by using his norton antivirus disk.
-_-||
He will make it a big deal, like its really troubling him, and can I please stop putting wallpapers because it keeps causing viruses, and stop using IRC.
It really pisses me off. Operate a fucked up norton disk?? I can do that too! Duh! It not that difficult, why must he act as if he just went to the moon and he is the only rare expert that can do that?
And because he is perpetually grouchy, my mum gets very nervous whenever our computer has some problems, because she would have to face him again.
So anyway, this time she got another uncle to come. This uncle is slightly better. At least he doesn't think that wallpapers causes viruses.
But he thinks that changing the OS can curb viruses from ever coming back.
So anyway, he changed the OS and said that he is not free to complete the thing today, coz he only created one user, which is for my mum.
I was still very traumatized because I realised that all my programs are gone, and I don't have any idea where all my installer discs are.
At that point of time I told him to come format the com for me, coz its really too full of rubbish. After I copy all my files of course.
After this, I discovered www.trendmicro.com coz a friend told me about it. The free virus scan helped me delete all the viruses, so now there is no need to format it already. I met the uncle during my grandpa's birthday and I told him that there is no need now to format my com for me.
But he didn't give any credit to what a little teenage girl says of course.
I saw him sitted at the com around a week ago, when I just woke up. My mum was doing her stuff.
I asked him gleefully whether he is creating another user for me?
He said he formatted the com. All the fucking files are GONE!!!!
MY god! My hundred over pictures! My word documents! My blog templates! ALL FREAKING GONE!!!
I immediately looked at my mum and asked her why she asked my uncle to come and do this when she didn't even TELL ME? She is always like this lor! She didn't give a shit about my opinions just coz I am a kid to her! She will think, "What important things can Wendy have in her com? Its just the normal nonsense la... Nothing important that will affect her life."
My mum said that she didn't know about my uncle coming to format it.
I found that impossible. Then who opened the door for him, huh? I proceeded (rather loudly I might add) to remind her of all the things that I have lost; all my pictures, my school work, my links etc. All these cannot ever be retrieved back you know?!
With this I stormed into my room and slammed the door, and proceeded to cry my heart out. All my pictures!!
Outside, pandemonium was happening. My uncle shouted at my poor mom too. He is a fucked up asshole.
He said, "How can you allow her to speak to you like this? She is very rude you know?! Wah, I come here to help her (I already said I don't need your freaking help, bastard. Thanks but no thanks!), and i still cause my sister to get shouted at like that ah! (Yeah you are right I should have shouted at you and kicked your balls.) I can do anything for you you know, cause you are my sister, but I WILL NOT DO ANYTHING FOR HER!"
With that he dramatically slammed my door and stormed out.
WHAT THE FUCK??!
Why is he shouting at my mum like that??!
And surely it is all his fault?! How can he just come to people's house and format people's computer without prior asking?? Its totally rude! The computer is not his, not his to delete anything he likes! And now I am upset about all my pictures gone. Do I not have the rights to be? And if I were a little bit ruder, I would have scolded him too, but I didn't do it.
He deserves a prod in the ass with a bloody pussy willow. Against the grain. Again. And prodded again! Again! Repeat! Burn the pussy willow and prod it once more. Ok enough.
My mum came into the room to find me sobbing with my face in my hands. She softly said she is sorry, coz she went to the market after my uncle came, and she did not know that I have not saved my files yet as I have told her before that I wanted to format the thing.
I told her never mind la, what is done is done lor...
So the point is, after the very long digression, that I have not yet found the installer disk for my camera, so I cannot upload all the 48 photos that I wanna show you all. Thats really sucky.
And without the photos, I refuse to blog.
Soon. I promise. When I am less lazy I would get my ass off the couch and go find it. I think its in the box.. Haha...
Alright. Hope you all have a happy new year!
*****
June, to Gwenne: "Yadda yadda Tampines yadda yadda."
Me: "Huh?? Whose penis?"
June: "Not everything is about sex you know?!"
Oh she needs an orgasm. LOL
Why people are so stupid to think that I should be insulted by the spoof, when its entirely written by myself in the name of a fictitious character, really baffles me.
Oh my holy shit I am so freaking dead.
I have COMPLETELY forgotten that today is the 24th of January 2004, which is also the test date for my SATs.
I only knew around 10 minutes ago in Alvin's car when I was complaining that my SAT is coming up, and when he asked when, I said 24th, which somehow, in some delusion, I thought would be in another say.. TWO WEEKS or so?
But no. Its today. I have not studied, I have no idea what the hell an SAT paper looks like, and I don't even have 2B pencils. Oh wait, think I stole a few from Ritz (Bloody cheapo yes). But heck, I paid $80, and I must take a chance.
Wish me luck people. I would really love to blog on, but I am too busy biting my nails off and typing with one hand is really difficult.
-Pray for me, I need it.-
Have been busy the past few days, thus no blogging, and suddenly, its CNY again!!
I swear I will smash the next TV which goes "Chun lian hong! Chun lian hong!". But actually I wouldn't coz I secretly like that song.
But thats not the point.
The point is, I got lots and lots to blog about, and I will do it on my clie tml, while other people are busy attacking food and chatting with useless small talk...
I hope everyone has a happy happy new year, and collect much more angpow money than Adryan, who is by far the person I know with most, averagely 700 bucks. Lucky git.
If you are a parent then I hope you have very normal looking ang pow packets so that even when you give very little money no one will remember its you.
=D
Ba kua here I come!!
Just won $6 in mahjong. Yaaay!
Me: "I hate people who patronise me. I hate it when people are too lazy to answer so they just say 'I don't know.'"
Alvin: "Why?"
Me: "I don't know la. Just don't like."
Alvin: -__-||
Girls girls listen up!!!
Whats this?
Its the John little warehouse sale at Expo!!
Everything there is so FREAKING cheap!!! I went there with June and Gwenne the day before, and bought $150 worth of stuff. However if you go tml there will be lotsa people as it is a Sunday. Go there dressed in tight clothes (so that u can try on the clothes by just pulling it over), and bring a light sling bag. Be sure to elbow the aunties mercilessly. It will be best if you look slightly crazy, so that people are scared off.
You will be given this big plastic bag to throw in all the stuff you want. Move along, and take everything that pleases you. You can dump anything you don't want later. NO TIME NO TIME!
Heres June and Gwenne throwing out the loot they don't want.
Pictures pictures...
Pink Camisole. $9 bucks.
Double-breasted Coat, complete with lining and stuff. 15 freaking dollars.
Pierre Cardin full set bra and panty. $10!!
Pierre Cardin again, with Felancy bra. Latter costs 2 for $10.
Some nonsense perfume that smells (and looks) like Hugo Boss!! 2 for $10.
MAKE-UP!!!
OMG I am getting so excited.
Whitia powder, which I don't use. Intend to sell it on Yahoo! Auctions. Usual price $26. I BOUGHT IT at $9.90!
ZA two-way cake refill!!! (Currently only dark shades left, I'm so sorry, dears.) Usual price, around $16. I GOT IT AT $8.95!! I bought FOUR.
Maybelline Diamond Shine Lip Gloss, $8 usual price $14.
Nonsense brand eyeshadow in dark brown, my typical make-up must have. $4.90. I bought FOUR. Blusher, $6.90.
WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
I am king!!!
WAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Its so freaking cheap, cannot stand it.
I bought the new Loreal Mascara at Watsons though, with a $3 discount, so its $20.90.
Its abso-fucking-lutely good!! Its the only mascara which claims to lengthen your lashes to fake lashes standards, and really does it.
Here, living proof.
Before.
Amazing ah! I swear no photoshop done.
I apologize for being so late in sharing this wonderful piece of news, because I have been really busy recently packing clothes.
Lots and lots of clothes, which shall all be either given to the salvation army, or sold at yahoo auctions.
I think my clothes are scary. And this is only half. Theres still those in the other cupboard....
I found this sweatshirt which was designed by me and sent for printing for my NCC group. Ah... Such sweet memories...
There was this couple in front of me when I was on the bus.
I sit behind them, directly behind the guy and ajacent the girl.
All was fine and sunny and I am feeling happy because all was fine and sunny.
Suddenly, the girl pecked the guy on the cheek.
The guy smiled, and pecked her back on the cheek.
They had a smooching competition to see who could peck more.
The girl won, and smiled triumphantly at the guy.
The guy looked at her, and gave her a sudden smooch on the lips while the girl tried to act surprised.
I got really pissed off and nudged the guy on his back with my knee (with the seat in between us of course).
He seems to feel that pretty much arousing so he smooched her more.
I nudged him harder.
He continued the smooch, and most disgustingly, the girl was STILL acting surprised.
So I took out a Ritz Carlton matchbox set his hair on fire.
"Oooh! Help help!", he cried, as he tried, with no avail, to stop the flames from spreading to his sideburns (no puns intended).
I smirked as I folded my arms. I sat back to enjoy the show. I sat back not because I wanted to act cool but because the fire was making it a little hot to sit close to the subject of interest.
The girl was in major distress.
She screamed her head off.
Serve her right for smooching in front of me. I bet she is the kind that smooches on escalators too. The next time I see couples smooch on the escalator, I shall stop the escalator suddenly and pretend to point at the some old uncle and say he did it. The couple will be halted in their smooching and might, if luck prevails, have knocked each other's teeth off with the sudden jerk.
So anyway, I slapped the girl and asked her to shut the fuck up.
She begged me to save her bf between mouthfuls of mucus. The rest of the bus heck-cared her coz they are watching the 14th rerun of Star Awards.
So I said, "No, coz you and him just ruined my fine and sunny day. Plus your boobs are small. I don't talk to people with small boobs. Speak to my hand."
"Please! Save him! He is dying!"
The guy seems to have extinguished the fire when we both turned to look at him. One uncle had poured a can of Jia jia Herbal Tea on his head mumbling something about how vile that concoction is. The bf seems at peace with himself and was curiously touching his hair with his index finger gently.
"Look darling!", he addressed the girl, not looking at her but checking out his reflection on the bus window. "Afro hair!!"
The TV Mobile screen flashed Fann Wong's previous appearances during past Star Awards including the year where she wore green shorts and had the exact same hair the BF has. I exploded into laughter. (no offence to Idris whatsoever.)
"OMG I am so happy you are fine!!!", said the girl. A guy at the back of the bus started to play a sad tune on his violin.
She rushed over to him, all filled with tears and stuff, and smooched him on his lips, despite it having bits of burnt hair on it.
I set fire to his hair again.
It is a fine, sunny day afterall.
