Dustbins and Loos

Ok before I forget, here�s a little piece of information I would like to share. In any case if you managed to swallow the 2850 words I wrote in my last last blog entry, you would realise that you terribly miss the colour of pictures in this plain website.

Well, for an infinite period of time, THERE WOULD BE NO PICTURES! Why? It's because, I realised with rude shock, that my stupid com does NOT HAVE A �D� or �E� drive!!!

WTF???

Since this is the case (no doubt the works of a mysterious hacker who hacked into my com to remove the drive out of spite), I cannot have pictures.

Now, the smart you would be wondering. What has having no CD drive got to do with pictures?

The thing now is, my Adobe Photoshop CS has expired after a blissful 30-day trial, so I plan to uninstall it and install it again, this time checking out the serial key first. HOWEVER, THERE IS NO D DRIVE! No photoshop=no photos. And I am too lazy to go to download.com.

As you guys would possibly have realised, imagestation screwed up on me. I found this burnt CD of mine, which contains all my photos! How lucky! BUT THERE IS NO D DRIVE!

So this website will remain screwed FOREVER until the mysterious hacker puts my D drive back in back, and hopefully as a bonus, throw in a DVD writer as well.

Anyway Camblog seems to be screwing up on me as well. I welcome suggestions to where I can host an infinite amount of photos without it ever screwing up. Please email me!

Ok back to our topic at hand, dustbins.



The one thing, which must have pissed everyone off when they are taking the above transport nowadays, would be dustbins, or the fucking lack of them.

Seriously speaking. If you have a piece of garbage you wanna throw, you would realise that there is no bin (AT ALL) for you to dispose of it. If you can find a dustbin in an MRT station, good for you. Please treasure it and sell it for a million bucks, for that must be the only dustbin in all the MRT stations. You would have to resort to burning garbage, and they would fine you.

WHY? Why has SMRT decided to remove all their precious dustbins from its loyal patrons like you and me?

Is it because:

a) Dustbins are smelly;
b) They are thinking of gathering all the dustbins and selling them at a high price to Sri Lanka by telling the locals that the dustbins are magic stones which can make rain and make crabs get caught easily;
c) They love people littering so that travel guides would stop saying Singapore�s MRT stations are like hospitals;
d) They just did it coz they hate us;
e) They just did it coz they hate us as no one is buying the products advertised on the MRT board which is MEANT to show us arrival time (like the good old days) but keeps flashing gastric products;
f) They have decided to retrench dustbin-emptying staff without realising that they would have to hire more people to pick up litter;
g) They suspect that people might put the dustbin over their head and pretend to be walking dustbins and thus refuse to pay MRT fares;

OR

h) They think that bo liao people might put bombs into the dustbins to blow up the mass amount of patrons in MRT stations. No doubt the *oooh! am I scared! * interchanges like JURONG EAST and Raffles place is in the most danger.

It�s a tough question which the majority of us would have difficulty answering. All the options seems feasible and logical.

The answer is H.

Yesterday, I was eating some Mos Burger while waiting for a friend to arrive. Just when I bought the burger, he called to saying he is two stations away, and I rushed to force the burger down, as being the good citizen I am, I will NEVER eat on the MRT. It is very rude indeed.

It turns out the two unfortunate mix of events caused me to finish the burger on the dot just before I entered the gantries.

Logically speaking, I used my index and thumb to hold on to the sticky piece of shitty wrapper while waiting for the train. CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW STUPID THAT LOOKS?

I looked around frantically for a dustbin, but with no avail. In the end, I got so pissed with the sticky wrapper, that I left it on a deserving fire extinguisher. Why, I am a litterbug. SO? BLAME ME WILL YOU?

I can so imagine the fuddled old board of directors going into a meeting:

D1: Recently there have been reports of bomb scares in MRT stations. While the reports are bogus and harmless in essence, it is not good to have our corporate image tarnished. WE WILL NOT BE KNOWN AS A TRANSPORT SYSTEM FOR FEEDING BOMBS! We are here to provide transport for Singaporeans, amidst it being too fucking expensive, BUT SAFE AT LEAST!

D2: Yesterday you said you want the world to die, best if it happens at Ang Mo Kio coz that�s the hottest MRT station in Singapore. Actually I think its Clementi.

D3: No la, confirm Bedok, siao bo.

D1: ENOUGH! You guys are not listening! We have a crisis here! WHAT CAN WE DO TO PREVENT THE BOMBING FUCKS?!

D2 and D3: Wah lau you damn dramatic leh.

D1: *rolls eyes* The thing is, we cannot prevent the terrorists from taking MRTs.

D2: Can. Increase price lor. Terrorist very poor one.

D3: Yeah what makes you think so?? Osama very rich what!

D1: QUIET!

D4 ~ D15: * nods *

D2 & D3: Sorry lor.

D1: I think, since we cannot prevent them from taking MRT� ANYWAY SMRT MUST BE KNOWN AS A STATION WHICH IS NON-DISCRIMINATING! That�s why the xiaxue girl�s suggestion that we ban stinky ah pehs will NOT be accepted! Despite me agreeing that it is unfair to the durians. Back to my point. We must prevent them from putting bombs. I welcome suggestions.

D2: Can. Increase price of bombs lor, terrorist very poor one.

D3: Wah lau already tell you they rich liao!

D1: SHUT UP!

D4, meekly: How big are the bombs?

D2: Pamela Anderson�s ones too big to hold in one hand wa ha ha ha ha!

-D1 kills D2-

D4: Wow. Ok, as I was saying. They can bring the bomb in, but they must not have places to hide the bombs.

D1: Why? Bombs, even out in the open, can kill.

D4: If the terrorist holds the bomb in the open, he would have people trying to stop him. Even if they don�t, he has to sacrifice his life to have the bomb explode and kill the maximum amount of people.

D1: So we should get rid of dustbins.

D4: Why???

D1: They can put bombs in dustbins.

D3: It will be a stink bomb wa ha ha ha ha ha ha!

D4: They can still put the bombs in other places, like under the seats.

D1: Yeah but an exploding dustbin is far less glamourous than an exploding seat! Look, I can imagine headlines alright? �EXPLODING DUSTBIN IN MRT STATION KILLS TRILLIONS�. How gross is that for our corporate image?

D3: How about people who eat Mos burgers and have no place to throw their wrappers?

D1: Well, screw them. They can always leave it on top of the fire extinguishers.

-Applause�

We Singaporeans await, gloomily, the day when the dustbins will come back.

Loos

No, the toilets are still around, but I am talking about Beckham�s latest news that he has been fucking a Loo.

By the way, I think fuckaloo sounds damn funny. Maybe they should use this word for people who fuck outside marriages.

�So you think your husband is damn faithful? You are wrong! He is the biggest fuckaloo I know!�

So anyway, I am happy.

I am very gleeful when people in my top 15 shaggable list have problems with their girlfriends/boyfriends/wives.

After all, Beckham is 7th or something right?

Since Beckham has been proven to be attracted to less than posh boobs, I�m sure I stand a higher chance shagging him. Well, it IS a step closer! If Posh divorces him (which she most definitely would not unless David-I-am-freaking-rich-Beckham has a small dick but since Loo said she had the time of the life or something, Beckham surely has a respectable member), I would stand a higher chance of making Beckham fall in love with me.

I mean, look at loo! (wa ha ha ha ha look at loo) She is fugly! And old! WHAT WAS BECKHAM THINKING??

So anyway, here�s what I plan to do to Beckham the next time he is here in Singapore (which hopefully is in 1 month�s time so that I can tag along with the sports team to meet him). It is a very detailed plan of how I can manage to get him to *ahem *:


�Hi Becks!�

�Hi Wendo!�

�Its Wendy. But nvm. As I was saying, would you like to have sex, and then do the interview?�

�Oh sure!�




Erm.




Tadah!

Read The Full Article

*pssh* Updated Singtel Blog. For those who are not interested or have not kept up with the contest, you can skip it. =D

As for the blogging here? I will get it up and running in a while, maybe by midnight or something. Halfway done.

Love ya all!

*Updated* I will not be blogging tonight, just wrote a super long email to Singtel pleading them to do something.

Read The Full Article

Here I am, at Benjamin's place, doing some blogging before proceeding to Mahjong Madness.

Alrighty I'm feeling very delighted from the cheap thrills I have been getting recently out of working at TODAY.

Speaking of TODAY, I was looking at xiaxue.blogspot.com on my work computer the other day, when my features editor Mr. David Ngiau (don't you find his name damn cute??) sneaked up on me from behind, no doubt stood there for a long moment to observe what I was doing, then proceeded to say loudly,

"AHA! What is this??", thus scaring the shit out of me.

Now thats damn despicable, sneaking up on interns like that, despite the company actually paying me while I surf silly websites. Well maybe not that silly, as you know, Its so Good, Its Almost Porn.

Slightly afraid that he would see the edited pink picture of me in what seems like a very skimpy lacy pink nightie, I used all the strength in my index finger to scroll my mouse wheel in an superfast speed down, down, down...

It didn't work.

Bending out, he continued in loud exclamation, "IS THAT YOU?"

He is boss. I watched in helplessness as he took over Ruler-Of-The-Mouse, scrolled up again, and had a look of shock as he saw his intern in well... A pink nightie. Or at least, a spag strap that looks like a pink nightie.

"IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE YOU!" he awed.

"Yeah well, edited by photoshop what! And don't give me that look k, i admit that its edited by photoshop. Don't believe hover your mouse over the picture."

"Hohum..."

To my utmost relief, he let go of the mouse. To my utmost horror, he used the keyboard to type ctrl F, and "TODAY".

So yeah. He is not interested in anything that I write, as long as I don't mention my internship company in it.

Search results showed him alot of todays - after all this is a blog right, the typically blog entry should start with "Dear diary, today I shitted" etc etc.

To confuse my editor should he ever sneak up on me and do the same stunt again, I shall type alot of "todays" in this blog entry. Do not be surprised if a TODAY comes out all of a sudden.

A friend of mine suggested TODAY that I should stop writing TODAY as TODAY but instead should, from today onwards, write TODAY as TODAE.

A pretty good idea. I think I shall do that today.

Except for this blog entry which is meant to confuse my editor, today.

TODAY
TODAY
TODAY
TODAY
TODAY
TODAY
TODAY
TODAY
TODAY
TODAY
TODAY

Alrightly. A few days ago, if you happened to have got your copy of TODAY, We would have Set You Thinking. Kidding. In actual fact, you would have seen my article on it, called Eyeing Rachel, which basically contains some interviews I had with the contestants of Eye For A Guy.

I was walking rather forlornly (recently I keep having spells of forlorn-ness, I think its excessive masterbation *kidding*), when I saw this fellow at Raffles place sitting down reading a newspaper.

Now this fellow, looks EXACTLY like the kind of guy who reads Computer Times. I was thinking to myself, "AHA! If he is reading Computer Times, I will treat myself to some Mrs Fields. If he is not, I will treat myself to some Mrs Field."

He was reading TODAY. Boy am I pleasantly surprised.

As I walked nearer to him, I realised he was not only reading TODAY, but was, in actual fact, reading MY ARTICLE.

How cool is THAT??!

Look, a guy reading my article!! I am so pleased. The fellow was not even reading as in reading and flipping it over in a bit. HE WAS SCRUTINISING IT!

My heart went a-flutter and the forlorn-ness disappeared. However, there came this naggy little voice in my head which went something like, "Hiyah you siao ah he only looking at Rachel Lee's boobies can!"

The little voice died down in a while as I sent another bigger voice to scold it with something like, "CCB SHUT UP LA, OR I WILL SLAP YOUR BLOODY FACE!" As far as I know, the owner of the bigger voice beat the little voice to a pulp as well.

As for me, I was floating on cloud ninty nine for two days. I know I know... Thousands of people read my site too, but hey! Its different when you see it in real life.

Today was I was going on today's MRT train to go to Ben's place, I saw around 3 people reading TODAY.

I suddenly had a revelation that my Tay Ping Hui article should be out on today's TODAY! And my angmoh sub-ed, if I didn't remember wrongly, mentioned something along the lines of "cover".

Suddenly I was filled with desire to get my paws on a copy of TODAY. It is a compulsive need!! A blood-thristy desire! The only problem. It is 2pm and TODAY would all be snatched up, and I wouldn't pass by an 7/11s.

I resisted my carnal urges until I was going down the escalator, and this fellow in front of me was clutching loosing on to a copy of TODAY as if he was about to use it for dog-poo purposes soon. If only he knew my needs! I lightly contemplated just snatching it and running away, but I realised I was on a escalator, plus he was with his pregnant wife, not good to let her worry as her husband chases after me in pursue of a precious daily.

So I asked, "Hi, I was just wondering if... you are done with your copy of Today, can I have it?"

He looked at his wife, and actually said, "Hmm.... I'm not done with it actually..."

"Oh," I said, at a loss for words that someone who possibly got this valuable piece of newspaper at around 9 in the morning is 'not done with it'. "Oh you see.. Coz, erm, my friend is featured inside and I really wanna read it... and I can't get another copy.."

In case you are thinking that "my friend" is referring to myself, you are wrong. I am referring, shamelessly, to Tay Ping Hui. Yes, he has not replied my email YET (please note the yet), but I DON'T CARE.

Back to our story, the man give a look of reluctance to his wife (or maybe fuck buddy, you would never know nowadays), and said, "Oh well ok you can have it."

I felt triumpant. I felt like I just won the Korean War. Its damn cool, someone reluctant to give me the paper which I wrote (rather, typed) for! How cool is that??! It MUST be my Tay Ping Hui article working its magic! I'm so elated! Oh dammit I must be a good journalist! I am filled with motivation to do my best for the world of journalism!

Sad news is, my article is not on the cover. Good news is, WHO CARES? It's still on the first page of +PLUS (features section, like LIFE in ST), and as long as I get to write, I don't care what kinda article it is, as long as it is published!

Back to Mahjong and more blogging tonight, if I feel like it.

Love ya all!

Read The Full Article

How great is it to be back here!!! LOL...

Throughout this long break, I have forgotten how comfortable it is to click on Blogger and write here.

Finally, all of you who are sick of the dreamd8 thing can heck care about it and return to my blog without reading one more word that has anything to do with it.

Some nonsense issues here: (And my severe warning, this blog entry is fucking fucking long)

1) Alvin

Alvin, the great guy whom you all have been reading about (not much though, coz after all boyfriend he is not) for the past three months, has disappeared. Just like that. *snaps fingers twice* Into thin air.

I don't understand men, really. He has been so sweet and nice! I told him that I am not prepared to go into a relationship with him, but he told me its alright, he will wait. He says he just wants to see me happy, and that's sufficient for him.

Well it seems that's utter bullshit. MEN. This just makes me super jaded. Seriously, humans are just self-centred creatures who live for themselves and blowjobs/showerheads, and I am not denying that despite trying hard not to, I'm like that as well. Except the showerhead part.

So anyway it went like this:

Alvin did not contact me for two days. Last conversation was fine, and ended with an ironic "I will call u tomorrow."

WTF??!

This is not the first time he is doing this. He went missing not once, but TWICE before, and always come back after with the typical "I miss you so much and I will not do this again."

I DON'T UNDERSTAND?! If he needs time off, why can't he just tell me, "I need some time off", then disappear while I go club and shag other guys? (joking) Why must gei siao say got nothing wrong, then don't reply msgs and pretend that phone on silent/low batt??!

I absofuckinglutely hate guys who go missing and avoid issues! What's the point? Can someone tell me what's the point??!

Me, calling using a different line: *ring ring!*

Alvin, in chirpy voice: "Hello!" (As if I must be Pamela Anderson asking him if he could touch my boobies)

Me: Oei you avoiding me ah?

Alvin: Umm. Ah... No la...

Me: Speak up and quit wasting my hi card money ok!

Alvin: *deep breath, chirpy voice gone* Ummm.. I just thought... *pause for 5 seconds*

Me: JUST THOUGHT WHAT? SAY LA!

Alvin: Umm... We can't go on like this....

Me: OK BYEEE! *kup phone*

- silence -

Why ah? Why are some people like that? It took him 3 months to realise that we can't go on like that? Wow! And if I did not use another line to call him, is he ever gonna tell me "we cannot go on like this"? And what I am supposed to do the period of time he is avoiding my calls?? Report to the police that he must be eaten up by a python in Tekong, huh?

Put the story up on show 'Missing'?

The next time a guy does that to me, I swear I would do this:

----

Me, calling in an out-of-breath tone: Hey Alvin, you avoiding me ah?

Alvin: Umm... oh... ah... um...hohum...

Me: Oh it's alright you know!

Alvin: It is?

Me: Yeah coz I like.. *breathless* went to Maldives while I was so worried for you... *Puff* and I like met the GREATEST guy ever... Alvin, meet David...

David (played by random guy friend): Hi Alvin, Wendy thought I would say hi to you... One more thing though. If you are thinking of pulling off the trick of playing missing and then coming back and saying you still love her, fuck off, coz she is mine now *smooching sound*.

Me: Don't be sad Alvin. You said you will be happy for me, and David has the longest dick ever.

David: Oh... oh... I'm cum-ing don't stop honey!!! ohhh... oh my god.. oh Wendy...

Me: *giggles*

Alvin: OH YOU GUYS ARE SICK!

Me and David: Oh fuck that was sooo good baby..

Alvin: Suck it.

Me: Oh you stained the phone Dave!!!

Alvin: *kup*

Me and David: CONGRATULATIONS! AND CELEBRATIONS!!!

-----

Anyway, that's not the point. The point is, I am a 100% single person once again (I was 2% attached previously).

I dig Chinese High guys. I dig law students. I dig hackers, pirates, elves, and pilots. If you are any of the above, please email with an invitation to go to your private yacht to have sizzling sex.

Except if you are a pirate, or elf, please send a press release to news@newstoday.com for an exclusive interview as well, would do good for my internship.

2) Shianux

Perhaps one of the best things I got out of my blog yet, is Shianux, a blogder.

He is damn smart, pretty good looking, (he says he has a 90% orgasm rate as well but that?s none of my business) and perhaps one of the few readers who managed to get my phone number during a half hour IRC chat, which is super impressive considering the amount of people who DIDN'T manage to do that.

Now, upon hearing Alvin's sad xia chang, this is what Shianux said:

Me: Fuck it Alvin is missing AGAIN! What the hell is wrong with him?!

Shianux: Oh why?

Me: I don't know!

Shianux: You know what I think?

Me: What?

Shianux, very matter-of-factly: I think you should go after Tay Ping Hui.

Me: Siao, he wouldn't like a girl like me la CRAZY!

Shianux: Why wouldn't he like a girl like you? (said in a tone which shows he thinks I am fantabulous.)

Me: Coz he can choose to fuck anyone he wants perhaps? Why me?

I forgot Shianux's answer, but considering I do have Ping Hui's email address, I emailed him.

The results? I don't know yet, will tell you guys soon. And if you happen not to know why I got his email, you've just got to buck up and read every single fucking entry, I can't keep repeating myself for you alright?!

*
Shianux is mad. We were having a discussion on how much people claim to love someone, but how do they prove it?

Shianux thinks that the best way to see if a guy truly loves his gf, is to ask him this question:

If one day, your gf stays exactly the way she is right now, which is also means she retains everything you love about her, but she suddenly grows a dick, would you still be with her? She retains her female organs and everything else, just that there's a dick there somewhere?

Great. What's YOUR answer?

For me, if I love my girlfriend (if I were a guy), I would still be with her even if she has a dick. There is only one problem though.

HER DICK CANNOT BE BIGGER THAN MINE.

I mean seriously, that would suck. I don't mean literally.

*
Shianux is GREAT at arguments.

Heres what one stupid spammer, unwittingly stumbling upon my comments link in a feeble attempt to bring me down, said:

U never deserved to get so far (in the dreamd8 contest). You write very well, and you are amazingly eloquent. I commend you for your talents.

But you aren't a dream date at all. You are shallow, egoistic, hypocritical and immature. You bitch, complain, whine, and basically speak without thinking.

If i was stranded on a deserted island with you and a goat and i had to choose someone for sex.... I would get you to hold the goat.

You deserve this embarassment.
AntiNeo | 04.11.04 - 9:10 am | #

And later on, Shianux's reply:

AntiNeo: you seem to be operating under the assumption that a goat wld want to have sex with you. please do not flatter yourself so, it is unbecoming of an asshole to butter yourself up like that, unless you're preparing yourself to be shafted good and proper.

Speaking abt XX, she's too good for you anyway. No one, especially not her, wants to touch your putrescent genitals with a 10foot pole. You might have better luck with your local hole in the wall.
Shianux | Email | Homepage | 04.11.04 - 10:50 am | #

*
Isn?t Shianux like GREAT??! I love you Shianux!


3) Hell

I was just thinking about this a little.

If God were to exist, and reversibly, Satan, then hell must as well. Hell has been described as being with flames and coldness and cuts and ugly people etc, and the majority of us are scared of going in there, should we believe in religion.

I'm an atheist (hey I'm having the same religion as God!), but I believe very slightly in the notion of a hell, but I am not scared by hell.

No seriously. For example, if I were to be in this room? It is full of flames licking my lower body. I feel pain and agony. The room smells like shit, and some of the dead there are being cut up constantly, etc etc, I don't think I mind.

I wouldn't mind if I met Saddam there you know. I can talk cock with him while we laugh about how some idiot got cut up again (until its our turn that is) and I might even do an interview with him and write for Hell Daily.

If I met Tay Ping Hui there, I would have sex with him everyday, who cares about the stupid flames. Until we got cut up or Saddam gets jealous of course.

If I see Mother Teresa there I would go like "Hey I thought you should go to Heaven??!"

MT: "Yeah Yeah lets not talk about that? I've been asked a million times already."

Me: "Tell me, why are you here!!! Did you kill someone? Cheat on your husband?"

MT: "I read your blog."

Me: "Hey look there goes Lee again, he is shagging Goh!"

See, hell would be quite fun. It would not be scary enough! The way to go around scaring people would be to have a customised hell.

For example, my hell would be like this:

1. Parsley for food everyday. Parsley mealworms, Parsley cockroaches. At the best of day when I behave, it would be Deluxe Teriyaki Parsley would rotten asparagus and? Parsley soup.

2. Stupid people dominate hell. Trying to strike a conversation would go like this:

Me: Hey man you must show them you are a genius!

Patrick the pink starfish (in Spongebob Squarepants): Oh, but genius only live in lamps!

Me: -_-||

3. Constant nails-on-blackboard sound.
4. Our world is ruled by Lee. AGAIN.
5. Every guy is ugly and has STD.
6. Constant menstruation.

I suppose unless you are super evil, you don't deserve enough attention from God to get a customised hell, so I suppose I would just go into the normal flaming ones and pay chess with small frys like the local mamashop uncle who gives me constant insufficient change. But hey, God is omnipotent right? He could have read my blog and took in my suggestions for a customised hell.

4) Xiaxue is a Maddox wannabe

Fuck off, I am what I am even before I started to read Maddox. Nonetheless, I do like his writing a lot, and I do not deny that sub-consciously I might have got influenced a little bit. But I do not try to write like him.

5) Xiaxue I liked you, until....

I've been doing my usual google search for Xiaxue and found some other blog sites which mentioned me.

Now a common thing I realised is this: Some readers, typically girls, would state that they totally love me, until I insulted something they like, and then I transformed into the ultimate bitch.

How ridiculous is that??! I mean, seriously. This girl was saying that she likes my blog a lot, until she realised I fucking DETEST City Harvest. Now she says I am (actually just) a bitch, ugly, fat etc etc normal stuff la.

WHAT HER POINT? So before I wrote about City Harvest I wasn't a bitch? You love me, but just because I happen to disagree with something you like, you now think I am a sucky writer etc? I say, be more open-minded, people. You don't need to agree with me, nobody is asking you to. And disagreeing with certain issues does not mean you have to hate me.

Perhaps worse than City Harvest Girl was this girl who totally liked me, until.... I said S.H.E's outfits look like pantyliner covers. She used to read my blog daily, until she saw the FHM special.

DUH.

6) Can you please blog, I am bored.

No. Get off my back, I don't feel like writing, so I wouldn't. WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE? A SWORD-SWALLOWER? I'm not here to entertain you, so go play with matches or something.

7) NKF sucks?

Since so many people are complaining that NKF's charity show is torturing MediaCorp artistes, I wonder what we should do for the show to get people to donate as heartily. Note: I will be contradicting myself in the next paragraph.

- Constantly stab little kids with needles until a certain monetary target is reached. Pretend the kidnapper is caught (and the public goes whoop!) finally, and put him in jail where plastic surgery would be done for him so that he can live a free live again after that. As for the kids, they will heal; pain builds character and kids wouldn't be wimps. Plus point: the kidnapper can go on Extreme Makeover and have more coverage so that he might be a model in future.

- Repeat procedure for little animals and saw down trees too so that animal lovers and environmentalists will donate as well.

- Lets not forget stabbing dolphins too.

- Constantly stab Sun Ho as well so city harvest fucks would donate. Hey wait. Already done. Cool.

8) My mum is reading my blog;

and so do tons of my relatives. My colleagues read my blog. My editor saw my blog.

One conclusion. This really sucks! So much less freedom. =(

9) New hordes of Xiaxue haters from the dreamd8 contest.

*waves to them*

Not surprising, considering my "unlikeabiliy" compared to the other mild-natured contestants. As I said, I am an acquired taste. What's hilarious is that they think they are damn cool coz they are such avid haters and their oooh-scalding! comments are supposed to make me cry or something.

Oh dear, I am fat and ugly and I am a bitch? I am a slut who fucks around?

I have heard those a million times, ha ha ha ha, and I am boooooored.

Ardent readers will know my way of dealing with them.

1) So?
2) Who cares?
3) You jealous ah?

That will just make them so bloody pissed while I hop around in delight.

10) One last thing about Dreamd8

Singtel has decided to mask the amount of votes for each contestant. Very funny, like that would even slightly help Janice and Mia (not that I support Mia at all). Poor Janice, she is bound to be booted out this week, because..... well look at Posh's votes shoot damn high as "her parents" vote for her, soon. Bloody bitch.

If that doesn't happen, I swear I will shoot myself. She has (possibly) spent at least $4000 (if its only her and Shaun conspiring, although I highly doubt Guy23 and Sel are not in it as well) on this contest, and sure as hell she would make herself win.

I say, if you have been catching up with Dreamd8, please vote for Janice, she is possibly the only sincerely nice girl left. (I know for a fact you said I am a wannabe and you hate me, Mia, so stop coming into my channel and playing nice with my readers yeah, I'm really not interested to be friends with you.)

What is Singtel trying to do here? While it is saying it wants to uphold justice, it does this. Sure, they took out the vote out factor, but what does it do? Posh would still vote herself damn high up. No biggie.

I guess this is a win-win situation for Singtel. Since:

- Posh will spend an infinite amount of money to vote for herself since she needs to play safe.
- The public cannot see her votes so they cannot comment that it is obvious the whole game is rigged. No public backlash = good.
- Posh would have to spend money on Sel as well coz if she goes to the cruise with Janice you can be sure I will make my way there as well and smack her boobs with a long brinjal. I will then proceed to have a fun time with Janice.
- Posh would have to spend money on toy-boy Shaun as well.

Well these are all my assumptions of course.

As for ME AND KEITO, IT'S FUCKING UNFAIR.

If the vote out has not been taken out last week, we would not have been eliminated!!! How can they be so f-ed up? After me and Keito are out, they do without the vote out thing!

Very funny, Singtel.

*
I am shocked you read till here. (2850 words!)

Read The Full Article

MISSED ME?? I AM BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Read The Full Article

Singtel Blog Competition, dated 14 April 2004

Updated: I will only start the blogging tomorrow. Let's just say something happened, and it lasted till now, which is super late. (4am).

Indeed, I'm outta here.

All's cool people. I am very angry, but I'm feeling pretty happy at the moment too!

1stly: I'll got a press conference at Conrad with some star (Taiwanese one, but cannot reveal now coz u all might stalk him), and there is BOUND TO BE GOOD FOOD!

2ndly: I have epliated my armpits finally. Too busy to do so recently coz of the contests. Cannot even eat properly. How to eat when u know when u eat somebody is sniggering away while "her mum" votes you down? Moreover epliate. Now I can shop like a normal girl~ I dun need to spend my Sundays staring at this fcuked up page! I CAN PLAY MAHJONG AGAIN!!!! Yaay! Its all good.

3rdly: I am moving back to blogspot WHERE THE STAR IS CLEARLY ME MYSELF AND I. I am the best (who gives a shit what u think) and I will be the one everyone's attention is on on MY PAGE. No more worries about slandering Lee Hsien Yang accidently. I CAN TYPE FCUK PROPERLY. I'm happy!

4thly: EIleen is treating me to a movie and since everyone thinks I am damn poor thing everyone is treating me very nicely. My mom gave me a hug this morning. Everybody say Awwwww

5thly: I am damn touched by you guys!

6thly: Who cares about this contest? Obviously I am the best dreamdate. I peel prawns! And I rule!!

More blogging tonight, I have to go for the press conference now.

Be sure to be back tonight, to REVEAL ALL THE UGLY DEEP DARK SECRETS OF THE CONTESTANTS.

Yeah u can flame all u want after that. Try flooding my inbox, I dun give a shit. I just delete it before I even read it. And if I am free enough to read it, I laugh. Thanks.

Read The Full Article

Singtel Blog Competition, dated 9 April 2004

Looking at my miserable looking votes now, I guess I can only sigh.

Tonight, there is a high chance I will be the one going out.

Meanwhile, I would like to say a great thank you to all my readers who have been supporting me. You guys made blogging wonderful, and made my days shine.

Special thanks to Neo, Cherub, Ting, Jo (since ages ago, this girl!), GateCrash, Gaylord (he claims he is not gay), nad~, Hai ren, shuen, rachels, Naiveguy, lotise, Zenith, and etc etc die hard blogders who have been here for me!!

Please vote me up if you can.. I don't wanna end with such an embarrassing amount of vote outs.. =(

Meanwhile.. to catch the action live, go to my channel #xiaxue at irc galaxynet!

Read The Full Article