2004-05-06

Alright alright. Finally, my birthday blog. It is indeed saddening that the blog would be nothing really interesting.

Warning here though: FUCKING LONG BLOG. This time, it�s filled with a super load of pictures.

I spent the major part of my birthday interviewing Kit Chan in the East Meets West Press Conference, and after that, doing up a Heineken Starbar article. How very disgusting. Thankfully enough for me, I�m perhaps a slow writer by my editor�s standards, so he booted me out from my chair (very unceremoniously) and commenced with my article halfway in a lightning speed. * grin * Ha ha. I was pretty happy to have it credited to my name (and have it majorly written by my editor), and then I later realized that there is no byline.

Kannina.

Anyway, here are the presents that I�ve got!

Miki and Diana

These two great girls are my coursemates whom I didn�t really get to know in SP. Now, they are my colleagues in MediaCorp Press!!! And they are great girls!!! Thanks for making life working so interesting u two!



Alrighty, they bought me this super nice strawberry cake, and being the glutton I am, I didn�t realize I should take a picture before the cake� well� went on its way to my tummy. Oh dammit.

Thanks anyway Neoneo and Mei Zhenzhen! (*private joke)

Scandalous Shuyin, who isn�t so scandalous nowadays as she is birdy (she working at the Bird Park, ha ha)



What could it be??!



Wow!!! Very nice, thank you!!

Ivan & Clara

Ok this dude and babe have award-winning moles and boobs respectively, and they bought me an irrelevant present.



No doubt bought by Clara.

On first glance, it seems a lubricant of some sort for gay boys to go straight again (watch all the porn surfers come in).

But hell no! It�s for straightening hair!!

I do not want straight hair!!

Nonetheless, I tried to use the thing on my curls, and holy shit it works! My goodness the irony. Actually I was thinking� If it doesn�t work, I would apply it on my pubes just to prove that it CANNOT straighten all sorts of hair. KIDDING. KIDDING KIDDING. Get it? I�m kidding.

WTF? From Eric Goh??!



Ok this is the guy who sent me hate mail if you bother to read a few days ago. Very smartly, or maybe not, he managed to find a way to get a birthday present to me � via my office.



Well done, Eric.

I must say. I get lots of fan mail, I don�t notice them much, especially if it�s from guys trying to hit on me. But hate mail! Ah! That got my attention!

A refreshing way to go about it I guess. (But hey guys, it didn�t work out so don�t send me hate mail, bleah.) Anyway, thanks so much for the flowers Eric, I love them. Except I don�t like yellow stuff. Pink, remember?! Pink!

From Sun??!



Alright another blogder who sent me a present via my office. He has been sending me very irritating smses.



I hate you, Sun! Urrrgh!

Chester

The generous host of pictures on this site composed a birthday song for me!! My gosh I so have a weak spot for guys playing the piano!! Click here to listen to it. I am so mesmerized!

*****


Eileen and I at the Esplanade!



I cannot stand it!! My photoshop skills are damn good!!! Am I fabulous or what!

Just to show you how good they are, I shall put more photos. Kidding. I am just an attention-seeking whore.




Actually I�m really good.
I�ve just got better, because I discovered this little function in Photoshop called �curves�. It�s as alluring as it sounds. Together with �variations�, look what it can do:



How cool is that?!

One more:



Ok one more:



Alright last one:



Last two pictures aren't that clear coz they were taken in dark conditions.

*****

Mydreamd8 is actually a fabulous contest.

It has brought me many friends and I had a great time and a great experience.

OH WHO AM I KIDDING. I got to know a few disgusting people from there. Yucks. But that�s not the point! The point is, mydreamd8 is a fabulous contest!

Now, the contestants have all been given a few FREE things.

1) A new nokia phone with camera functions.
2) A sim card (my god, this is gold). I know what u are thinking. Use it to vote right. The Singtel people thought of it too, so its barred from 221200, and 1900 calls, (not so)smartass.
3) 3 months FREE broadband subscription
4) Free dreamd8 tee which sucks
5) A WEBCAM!!!

My point is about the webcam. Very stupidly, I did not even try to install it till yesterday, when I realized how fun webcams can be.

Look, here are some UNEDITED pictures!!!





My goodness I think the webcam secretly reads my blog and loves me. If not, why do I look so bloody good there?! Much better than in real life actually. Oh yeah I forgot to mention this point. From now on, I shall ASSUME THAT EVERYONE READS MY BLOG AND LOVES IT.

See that dog staring at me over that? Must be a blogder. =D Hey that car didn�t knock me down! He is waiting for me to go home and blog.

I digress. Back to the point of webcams.

I was just thinking I don�t mind putting up a webcam function in my blog. I see your eyes giving the �SLUT, I KNEW IT!� look. No la, nothing sexual. Just a cam for u guys to see me while I blog!!! WAHAHHAHAA. As if it is anything interesting.

I have NO idea how to do this though. And I refuse to approach webcam-whores to ask them for help.

What do u guys think of this idea? Would u like a webcam on my blog? I would need hosting though! Anyone which ample technical knowledge and bandwidth can email me, thanks!!


*****

I need SUGGESTIONS.

Desperately.

Now, this stupid site has been attracting a lot of porn surfers in. I refuse! It�s only �almost� porn, why are they buzzing in like bees!! I don�t want bian tais reading my blog!! Wanking to my edited pictures (Yes, congrats Meng Seng (sounds like a wanker�s name), this girl u are looking at does not exist.)

When people find your page because they have black menstrual blood, you know something is seriously wrong.

Thus, I need to change my blog�s title.

Now, a blog�s title is very important. It will be the blog�s make, or fall.

I don�t wanna go back to the cheesy �the world thru my eyes�, because it sounds cheesy. Seriously, nothing can sound cheesier. I don�t know how I came up with that title.

How about A Shu Nu's blog? It would be cool to see stupid men come in and then go like, �Wei she mo zhe yang!! Where is my shu nu!! This is a bitch!! Oh no anything but bitchs!�

Yes I think I shall change it to that. Besides, the stupid picture of my in the pink blouse looks pretty shu nu, doesn�t it? Don�t sneer. I am actually a shu nu at heart. I love cooking and cleaning up my room. JUST KIDDING.

Or maybe I could call it� An Elite Model�s Private Diaries. Now, of course I am nowhere near being an Elite Model, but it would be fun to get people to say I am tall for a change. I would start every entry with �Dear Diary, today I went for casting again, I am so excited. Saw Rebecca and Denise.

JUST KIDDING actually I watched Van Helsing. (Which brings me to the next topic)

(Whatever la. I think, I shall just term it: THE ORIGINAL XIAXUE.BLOGSPOT.COM)

*****

Van Helsing

The movie is possibly worth 3 and a half stars in 5.

The movie is hot because:


1) Hugh Jackman (is it spelt this way?!) is hot. May I repeat. He is FUCKING HOT. At the end of the show, he was holding on to a limp Kate beckington (I have no idea how to spell her name and I don�t care) very tightly with only a black cloth around this groin.

Now, not only do we get to see a full 5 minutes of him half-naked, we get to see him hug Kate in a very sexually appetizing manner. The position is reminiscent of a certain Kama sutra one � but lets not go into details. Oh, those arms�.

2) The female vampires are hot. Now, if you read yesterday�s TODAY, you would have seen a pic of the female vampire. They look hideous with no nipples, white boobs, and wrinkly skin.

BULLSHIT. They transform into nice ladies when they wanna talk to you. The costumes are great (lotsa boobs showing), and they look absolutely delicious. But their eggs�. Another matter altogether.

3) Count Dracula is damn funny.
The man speaks in a funny Italian like accent.

Hugh: If I want to kill your offspring I must first kill you.
Dracula: That�s CORRECT! (In the same tone u would find a host of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire say.)

And he is pretty cute to boot, amidst a bit old.

4) The Kate girl is not bad looking, but did not show any boobs, dammit. One wet scene, but corset does not give wet tee effect, ala Spiderman.

6) Kate�s brother in the show is fuck-cute, but I don�t know who he is.


However, I feel that several things should be changed in the show.

For example, Kate lost her brother, so she was the only one in her accursed family left surviving. Later on she died. Oops. Spoiler. Anyway, pretend u didn�t read that.

So, in order for Kate to keep her family line, I feel she should have fucked either Van Helsing or�. Frankenstein.

I know, I know. It�s difficult to have sex when vampires are trying to kill you everyday. Thus, it is time to consider who is the better fighter, Van, or Frank (rhyme not intended).

Considering Frank is slow-moving and quite stupid, Van is possibly a safe bet to fight the vampires.

The secret method would be to hide in a room and have sex with Frank while Van keeps a safe guard. Yes, Frankenstein may not look very good, but here are a few reasons why he is fuckable.

1) He has screws on him so he can officially say, �I so wanna screw you!� and takes out a screw to drill into your ear. You can then proclaim that he has a loose screw. He can then reply by asking u to shut up, or he would shove his nuts (and bolts) into your mouth.

2) Assuming that Frankenstein has everything made bigger, then he should be pretty well-endowed.

3) Sex will possibly cure Frankenstein�s inferiority complex and his constant irritating thoughts that humans are all out to kill him. If its good sex he had, he would be like, Whoop! I had sex! I am attractive humans love me!!! Therefore, I shall be nicer to Van!

4) Assuming that the kid inherited Dad�s muscle bulk and Mum�s nice skin and hair, he would be quite the jock in high school. Let�s not think of it the other way round.

Alright. I am talking crap.

*****

One last thing. I just saw the Becks and Posh show, and I think that Beckham is an ABSOLUTE DUMBASS. He is so fucking slow, I almost aged 50 years watching the show. Yes he is cute, and he is a good goal-keeper (is he a goal keeper?), but u cannot deny he is fuck-stupid.

The dude does not know how to answer questions properly, and does not understand Victoria�s jokes although they are pretty funny.

I used to think Posh didn�t deserve Becks, but now I don�t understand why she can marry such a dumbass. Must be the golden pubes. Wait, you don�t marry people just because of golden pubes. Must be good sex then.

Whatever it is, David Beckham is officially outta my top 15 shaggable men list.

His position, shall be replaced by...............










FRANKENSTEIN.

Joking la.


I choose Hugh Jackman�s character Leopold in Kate & Leopold. Isn�t that so suave? My god, they don�t make men like that nowadays. =)

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2004-05-04

SASSER VICTIMS LISTEN UP!

I've been getting tons of emails from all of you on how to get rid of sasser.

Now, understand please. I am but a weak recovering victim of the virus and I don't know how my doctor (Dr. Darius) managed to combat it although I helped in some clicking and rebooting.

In any case, if you got the virus, fuck off and stop bothering me, its your own business.

KIDDING.

Of course I'd help. Here are some instructions, courtesy of the aforementioned wonderful and generous Darius.

*****

1) Download Stinger.exe from http://vil.nai.com/vil/stinger/

2) Run the program

3) Update your anti-virus program and do a system scan.

If you don't have one, u can download Avast!'s home version. Please note. Avast! is with the exclamation mark, so pronounce it as you would Kung! bushmen.

Let me praise Avast! (note the enthusiasm because of the '!'). Not only does it allow u to change skins for a stupid virus software, it is FREE, and updates by itself.

The cool thing is, it has this sexy female voice warning u when u have a virus, complete with a radar sign spinning, as if your computer is important to them.

While it may not be funny (or remotely sexy) to hear that voice, the screen automatically tells you what to do as if all of its clients are tech-idiot paranoid females.

It starts off by saying something like "Avast! (note the !) has detected a virus on your computer.However, there is no reason to panic.Your best friend Avast! will do all ur shitwork for you." Actually it doesn't say that, but it's something along the lines. I almost wish I got another virus to witness that again. No, ok, not really.

Avast! will help u to rid get of the virus completely when u do a scan. BTW, I think Avast!'s spinning blue logo is relatively cute. Would be perfect if Avast! develops a pink skin as well.

4) Activate the firewall by going to Start-> Control Panel -> Network connections. Right click on the connection you are using and go to properties. Click on the advance tab and tick the firewall option.

5) Update your windows using the window update command. If your windows CD is chionged thus u cannot update.... Congratulations, and celebrations!! I don't have the software to send u, I suggest u kill urself or u format ur PC - and don't stupidly use back the same CD.

*****

In any case if you did not manage to get your com connected to the internet or something (then I have no idea how you managed to get into my blog site, and if you only managed to get into one site its my site I do feel pretty honoured about it, but never mind that), you must go to task manager and stop the process avserve.exe or avserve2.exe first.

Accursed virus. You will kill it with perseverance!!! I wish you... Best of LUCK.

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2004-05-03

Updates: Freaking com is healthy once again!

Look at the freaking time now!!! Its 3.43am!!! WTF.

Sasser (also known as Gaobot), nachi.B (sissy name for a virus if you ask me. What next, nachi C??! Is it some Japanese lozenges?), and a stupid trojan, no less - all in my computer.

After a 4-hour long combat with the new sasser.exe virus, it is FINALLY GONE. I have to give an honourary mention to blogder Darius, who was patiently on the phone with me to guide me through the process despite me sounding very pissed and rather madly-incoherent during this time frame.

Very nice of him huh?!!!!

I FEEL TRIUMPANT! Yaaay! You think u can fight me huh, sasser, huh?? eh, eh?! You are but a puny thing that cannot get my champion computer down! Let's face it. You can never fight Gates!!! He made a patch to counter u in a jiffy! Loser virus!!! LOSER!!! Variation of MsBlast huh?? NOT EVEN ORIGINAL!

YOU LOSE, SASSER! Wendy=1, sasser=0! What kinda faggot name is sasser anyway? Huh? Korean?! LOSER! *PUI* Nanny nanny poo poo!

Pardon me if I sound mad for talking to a virus.

No birthday blogging for you till tomorrow. Be grateful that my com is up and running. On a side note... If you have a spare com to bestow upon me, please feel free to mail me. However, if as a practical prank you give me a com with the sasser virus, I SWEAR I WILL KILL YOU. IT IS NOT FUNNY.

I shall go sleep. Oh yeah I had a dream about Tay Ping Hui. It was a really nice dream, shall tell you guys tml!!

Nights, and I hope you didn't kanna the sasser virus. Please go update ur windows now if you are a PC user!

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2004-05-02

Updates:

Yaaay!!! Angela is fine!!! Everyone say, "Pheeeeeeeeeew..."

Meanwhile someone else is on the verge of death: Me.



There's a new virus called Sasser.exe. The virus is SUPER JIAN (jian4=whore-like tendencies). It is so jian, that it blocks you from entering major anti-virus sites to use feeble futile attempts save your ass. For example, in my cyberworld, windowsupdates.com and sophos.com DOES NOT EXIST.

No fucking shit.

They will come back. I am sure. No blogging for you till I get rid of them completely. On a side note, thanks so everyone of you who sent me mail trying to help!!! Thanks so much. And of course to our com expert Darius for sending me Stinger.

p/s: Yes yes I know by now its called a yu2 jiao3, ha ha. Stop sending me emails about that already! =D

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2004-05-01

I AM SO FUCKING PISSED I FEEL LIKE BURNING THE WORLD TO ASHES MY FUCKING COM KANNA THE FUCKING MSBLAST A-FUCKING-GAIN THIS IS THE FUCKING 4TH TIME ALREADY WHY AM I SO FUCKING SUAY AND THE FUCKING XP CD "HAPPENS" TO BE A FUCKING PIRATED ONE A-FUCKING-GAIN AND I CANNOT UPDATE THE FUCKED UP WINDOWS AGAIN I AM SO FUCKING PISSED, I SHALL NEVER BLOG AGAIN.

FUCK THE FUCKER WHO FUCKING INVENTED MSBLAST. THINK YOU ARE VERY FUNNY HUH? I HOPE A RAVING MAD DOG WITH RABIES BITES YOU ON YOUR FUCKING BALLS.

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Yes yes I know what you are thinking. I'm a fucking irresponsible bitch. If you happen to be stuck at home and clicked onto my site and realised that I haven't updated as I promised to... hey wait. Its a Friday night!!! You should be out partying instead of reading some stupid blog, hello!!

(Erm if you have hurt your knee and is currently handicapped or something, the last paragraph was said in jest, I'm sorry.)

So anyway, even now I'm not gonna do my official bdae blogging, because I'm tired.

Went to the Heineken event that I wrote about (in TODAE,not here, silly)... Heineken Starbar Music Festival with Eileen, and proceeded to go to her place to watch Austin Powers II. Damn! I'm so into the movie now.

TELL ME, DO I MAKE YOU HORNY, BABY?! *Rubs hairy chest in glee*

You are so shagadelic, baby!

Ok enough. As I was saying. I've gotta wake up tml at 8.30am to get my ass to Kembangan to purchase this.

Now, I've been waiting very long to get my paws on this... baby. I have to get it fast, because it is called... make a wild guess... a REPORTER bag. I'm serious. In full, it is a freaking Christain Dior Girly Reporter Bag. How cool is that!

Look, in case you don't get it... *snaps fingers*... Me=reporter. Bag=reporter. = BEYOND COOL.

I have to get the bag, because I will officially be a reporter (you can call me a journalist too if you wanna) till June 1. When happens to be June's (Make a guess why that name) birthday but thats not the point. The point is, I have to get the bag because I can still prance around in it for another 1 month while being a reporter at the same time, correct?

-Imaginary scenario-

Random person: Hey! Nice bag!

Me: Oh yeah baby, yeah!

RP: Its a Dior Reporter bag yeah?

Me: Oh yeah baby, yeah!

RP: And you are a reporter!

Me: Oh yeah baby, yeah! *smug look*

RP: Oh, BEHAVE!

Me: *ROOOOAAR!*

-End imaginary scenario-


MuaHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!

*****

Oh yeah one more thing. I received a very saddening email. I hope you don't mind me copying this out, Angela.

From: Angela

Friday, 30 April 2004, 16:08pm

Subject: Hi, Hopefully not my last

Hi Wendy,

I'm a faithful reader of your site. Ya..haha.. you always put a smile on my face. Anyway...

I will be going in for a surgery later. Just in case I don't wake up, I just wanna let you know your blog rocks!

Yeah... I was laughing away while reading your blog on the hospital's PC. I think the people around me must think that I am cranky.

Anyway, as a word of encouragement - GAMBATE! Oh, its "jia1 you2" in Japanese. Jia1 you2 would have been two words of encouragement. Gotta go! Bye!


*****

Ok.

Frankly speaking, I do not feel happy about this mail, but very sad instead. I have never imagined my readers to be anything more unfortunate than stressed uni students. Usually it would be a relatively siao student or the occasional porn surfer.

Someone I know (even if just thru an email) being critically ill really upsets me.

Ever heard of the saying that the power of a thousand people sitting in a hall wishing hard together that a piece of paper would catch fire, would really make the paper light up?

I don't believe it.



But no harm trying?

Let's all wish Angela all the best, shall we?

And Angela? Don't be a rude girl. I replied your mail, so you better reply me. =) I'm sure you would have a smashingly successful surgery. And then you have your friends, relatives, and debtors all waiting as well, so better get in shape fast. ;)

I will smack you if you are undergoing plastic surgery and made me so worried, btw. Ha ha...

*sits up straight*

Alrighty. I promise to blog more for you when you get outta the hospital. SOM PAH.

Putting a smile on my readers' faces? One of the most important reasons why I blog. =D Besides the one that I am an attention seeking whore of course. Ha ha.

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2004-04-29

Heh. I dreamt of kittens shagging each other at the back of the car. They look really cute, fluffy and all. (note: cute, not sexy)

But WTF. Paedo-bestiality. I tried to throw them out because my baby walrus didn't like it. *confused look* Now where did the walrus come from?? And why doesn't he like kittens shagging?

URRRRRRGGGH!!! I think if I keep having weird dreams like that I will turn psycho.

More birthday blogging tonight with pics of bdae prezzies!! And tml is a press holiday! How cool is that??!

Updated: Have you been keeping up with mydreamd8? Click here, for I just spoofed PixiePosh. Fun. And easy. =D Go have a look, and leave a comment!

- Are you a 3 plus 2? -

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