I was bored. I updated mydreamd8.
In any case, if you are too lazy to click there, here's what I wrote.
AND did you ever think I was totally bullshitting when I said that my photoshop is FUCKING GOOD? I mean it. I'm a total goddess. Still sceptical? Don't be. Scroll down.
*****
Out of the kindness of my heart, I decided to help Singtel save some face by enhancing the photos of our dear deserving winners.
For christ's sake, Posh. Stop using your bloody webcam to take photos when you have a $1,000 camera.
There you go, Posh and Ed.
And then, tadah!
Reduced a bit of yellow, and made the crown look a little less cheapskate. Some blogder told me that Singtel put the crown on them. I ALMOST LAUGHED MY LIVER ROTTEN. How can Singtel do such shoddy work! Why, M1 not enough market share ah??!
Anyways, I tried to reduce the downturned faggoty smile, but failed. Did some botox as well. I couldn't resist.
NOW FOR POSH
You will not believe it. My photoshop skills are like DARN GOOD. I can't believe I made her so chio in 5 minutes.
Alrighty here's what I did. Jack up the brightness, reduced yellow.
Made the eyes a little less scary, and added a bit of pink to the cheeks. Reduced the dark-brownish lip colour with more red tones.
I tried to remove the, erm, moustache like patch but only semi-succeeded.
Made the nose smaller and jawline smaller as well.
I can't believe it. Am I good or what? I think they should use my photos man!
Anything to say about this? Or you got a photoshop job for me? Email me: xiaxue@gmail.com.
*****
I thought about it. I should write freelance and go into photo enhancing. Heard from Ben enhancing a advertisement photo would cost around $800. That's a bloody lot of money!
ANYWAYS. If you have a photo you want me to enhance it, plus take away all your flaws, pay me $30 (those big big makeover photos la, not like Posh's) and I will do it for you. Ha ha ha. Small pics $10. Come, lelong lelong...!
As much as TROY rules, I insist that there should be some changes in the script. Here's the amended one for your viewing pleasure.
STARRING......
PAMELA ANDERSON as HELEN
JACK NEO as MENELAUS, King of Sparta
MARILYN MANSON as AGAMEMNON, Brother to Menelaus, King of some place. Think it's Greece
The Gandalf guy as PRIAM, King of Troy
BRAD PITT as ACHILLES
EDDIE MURPHY as ACHILLES' HEEL
ERIC BANA as HECTOR, heir to kingdom of Troy, elder son of Priam
JACK BLACK as PARIS, Younger son of Priam
- start script -
ONCE upon a time some 3,200 years ago, there were six cities in the world before earthquakes split them into what they are now.
The cities were A, B, C, Sparta, Greece, and Troy.
Menelaus (JACK NEO), an old, fat ugly faggoty looking guy, has a beautiful wife. Her name is Helen (PAM ANDERSON). Now, it is a common myth that Helen of utmost beauty. She is so beautiful, and all men wanted her for themselves.
It is said that Helen herself was the daughter of Zeus, thus she was half a goddess, and that's why men everywhere are so mesmerized by her.
That's BULLSHIT.
Men don�t realize it 3,200 years ago, but Helen is so beautiful merely because of her big boobs. That�s right; nothing fantastic, just boobs.
This is proven true because 3,100 years later some scientists did experiments of Helen's corpse to find that her features are nothing spectacular. But her boobs? Ah... Beautiful and big they are. The biggest in Greek history anyway.
In fact, Menelaus has never seen her face before. Helen, frustrated that Menelaus never speaks to her face, tries to ask him to look up a little, but Menelaus never heard her. It's difficult to hear when all the blood's at his dick (surprisingly not enough for it to stand properly)
Helen is frustrated with Menelaus' marriage. She feels like walking herself into an ocean everyday spent with him. (actual line)
Now indeed this Menelau�s jokes are not funny, PLUS he is ugly AND he speaks to her boobs, but hello?? He is a KING!
But Helen is not one for deep thoughts. She seeks...love.
*
Meanwhile, far away in the city of Troy, Priam, a foggy type of king, reigns.
He has two sons.
The chivalrous Hector (ERIC BANA), and the casanova Paris (JACK BLACK).
Priam, wanting an alliance with Menelaus, sends his two sons over to Sparta to try to make peace.
Paris sees Helen. Paris stares at boobies. Paris is in love.
Paris, to Helen: "Oh my Zeus those, I mean, you, are beautiful."
Helen: "Shit, not another."
Paris: "Wo ke yi jio ni ma?"
Helen: "WTF are you talking about?!"
Paris: "I was trying to speak in Chinese, it�s cool."
Helen weeps. "Oh, I am so unhappy in my marriage with Menelaus! I seek love!"
Paris: "Why beautiful one! But you must be loved by so many!"
AT this point of time, Hector stepped on a nail, which pierced through his foot. Being the gallant warrior he is, he merely had time to give out a loud shriek and decidedly pulled the nail outta his foot as if it is but a nail through a foot.
His shout attracted Paris' attention, and he looked over Helen's shoulder at his brother.
Helen: "Oh you looked at my face! You must be the love of my life, oh courageous, lovely one! No one has ever done that."
Paris: "What say you we have sex now?" (BTW his eyes are back to the boobs, and he is muttering 'beautiful indeed, beautiful...' to himself)
Helen: "Oh my love!"
They proceed to have hot steamy sex on a viney bed with satin and velvet cushions in (make a guess) plush red.
Paris: "Oh that was good! What say you, my queen, that we have sex again?"
And they have sex again. Even Paris is surprised that such an, erm, ugly face can get Helen, but he doesn't know it's coz he looked at her.
*
Soon after 'true love', Paris and Hector are ready to go back to Troy.
In case you are wondering why Hector is not interested in Helen, it is because Paris has herpes and he is scared. Condoms weren't invented.
Paris packs Helen into a small aircon shell.
(3,200 years later this was used as an NKF stunt by Sharon Au)
Helen has difficulties because of the boobs but managed to get in.
Paris, to Hector: "Would you fight for me, brother?" (actual line)
Hector: "Why leh?"
Paris: "I stole Helen of Sparta and packed her on this ship with us."
Hector slaps Paris. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING, YOU SELF-CENTRED BASTARD??! NOW SPARTA WILL DECLARE WAR ON US!"
Paris: "But... but I love her!"
Hector: "Oh no you don�t! You don�t know anything about love!"
Paris: "I do too!"
Hector: "How about love for father and for your country? Forgot it. Let�s bring her back, since she is... so very beautiful."
*
-In Troy-
Priam: "My sons! Welcome back! Hey wait. Helen of Sparta?!!!! Why is she here, Paris? You fucking around again? WANT TO DIE AH?!"
Paris: "Very beautiful, don't you think?"
Priam, Paris and Hector: "Very�."
Helen: *rolls eyes *
Prism: "Let's see you cook us some Sparta dishes, woman. Frying pan in the cupboard there."
*
-Meanwhile in Sparta-
Menelaus, thundering: "Where the Helen!"
Maids: "I dunno mam, I dunno! Don't send me bach mum... Please mum."
Menelaus: "She gone to Paris? I mean, with Paris?! WHY, JUST BECAUSE I AM OLD AND FUGLY?!"
Menelaus: "I DECLARE WAR ON TROY!"
Agamemnon (MARILYN MANSON), who fought cities A, B and C such that they became Greece. : "Don't worry bro. I've got Achilles. He will help you fight the war. TROY SHALL BE MINE, AND HELEN YOURS!"
Menelaus and Aga: Mua ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha !!
*
-Achilles walking on a beach-
Achilles (BRAD PITT) is checking out his muscles in a pool of water.
Ach: "Man I should be a model. Look at me, I'm sure I'd be the sexiest man alive should I be born 3,200 years later, ha ha ha."
Ach: "Plus, I'm indestructible! HOW COOL IS THAT?"
Ach: "Except I got this problem of talking to myself. Man, I'm sexy. So darn sexy, baby! Woohoo!"
Ach: "I don't understand ah. Since young, all the mosquitoes which sting me get their needles broken. I'm indestructible ha ha ha ha ha! All but my heel! Weird."
Ach's man: "Lord. Agamemnon says we shall have war on Troy! Let's go!"
Ach: "Wah lau sian."
*
-Troy-
Big war.
Troy wins.
Agamemnon: "Shit la we lost. Let's send a big horse into Troy."
Author's note: I'm a bit tired by now.
Menelaus: "For fuck?!"
Aga: "I don't know. Let's send in a lot of our ugliest men to rape all the womenfolk there so that in future all the Trojans are actually big fat Greeks! How cool is that?!"
Priam's voice: "You can dream on about your big fat Greek weddings, Agamemnon!"
Aga: "AH FREAKY! Where are you, traitor Priam? Why are you hiding at thy area?!"
Priam's voice: "Ha ha scared you didn't I? I'm Achilles' heel (EDDIE MURPHY) and I can impersonate people!"
Aga: "A heel can talk?!"
Achilles� heel: "Yes."
Aga: * gasp *
Paris comes into the picture: "I shall kill Achilles! Where is he?"
Aga: "Dunno, dunno, dunno, dunno�"
Paris: "SHUT UP~! Where is he! Speak!"
Achilles, coming into the picture too: "Where's that fucking heel of mine? Anyone saw it? Was hopping away from me just now, the filthy thing."
Paris: "Ah there you are, Achilles!"
Achilles: "You have shown courage, Paris." (actual line)
Paris: "I came to take your head back to Troy to replace the head you took off Apollo' statue!!"
Achilles: "You show courage, Paris."
Paris: "And moreover, I'm fucking Helen! She is gorgeous. Who are you fucking?"
Achilles: "You show courage, Paris." (Achilles said this line like 3 times)
Paris, blowing up: "FUCK LA DUDE HOW MANY TIMES YOU WANNA SAY THAT IS THAT THE ONLY LINE YOU EVER SAY?"
Achilles: "You show courage, Paris, you show courage, Paris, you show.."
Paris, raising arrows and getting ready to shoot: "STFU!!!!"
Paris aims, but shoots so badly, it hits Achilles' heel, which, surprisingly, at this point of time is playing Cluedo with Agamemnon.
Achilles' heel: "Oh fucker you hit me!!!"
Achilles: "Paris!!! No!!! Don't shoot! (actual line, not by Ach)"
Paris: "Siao liao, what did I shoot!"
Achilles, looking highly orgasmic for a person dying: "I am so in pain and dying!"
(I'm tired let's wrap this up)
Agamemnon gets a heart attack and dies. Menelaus dies of grief of loss of sibling. Priam dies of herpes (I think you know why). Paris dies of herpes. Helen of Troy dies of herpes.
Sole survivor is Hector.
*
-3,200 years later-
Descendent of Hector: I must make sure people will remember Troy forever! For Strength, On-ner, and glow-ry!
Thus the computer Trojan is invented.
*****
I'm damn bo liao, don't you think?
Just came home from watching ********* (embargoed till later in this entry). In case you are thinking, why does Xiaxue get to watch it so damn early?
;)
It's because my gorgeous and totally sugar-sweet colleague (Elisa Chia, look out for her articles) passed me some tickets.
Me: Hey Shu Chiang, got movie reviews I wanna go!!!!! (Movies beat reporter)
Shu Chiang: No, even if got also don't give you.
Me: Don't like that la!
SC: Given all out already. *smirks and cracks his fingers in a menacing manner to warn all interns to stop pestering him for movie tickets*
Me: *Sobs*
- Half an hour later -
Elisa: Hey Wendy you want this?
- Hands me two movie tickets, looking seemingly lido-like -
Me, thinking: Shu Chiang says no more tics, must be trashy show.
Me: Oh okie (I'll give it a chance.)
Elisa: *smile*
Me: OH MY GOODNESS IT'S TROY IT'S TROY IT'S TROY I LOVE YOU ELISA!!!
Elisa: *Smiles in a bestowing god-like manner*
Me: *hyperventilates*
*****
I got tons to watch about the movie (no spoilers, I promise. As if you did not already know the story anyway), but I am not going to.
Why? It's not done just to spite you. It's...
Because this taxi driver pissed me off.
I sincerely think some of you like it when people piss me off. Look, I can imagine you there, smiling like a maniac because someone pissed me off. "Oh goody, Xiaxue is mad again!! Yaay! The world's all good, coz Xiaxue is pissed!" you shout at the top of your voice. You are still smiling aren't you, sadonic pig? I get emails like "You are so funny when you are pissed off, please get pissed more often".
Er, no thanks, fuck you.
And I shall stop being pissed and be cordial and nice just because I don't feel like making you happy. Nah. Too much an effort.
Back to the driver, with me being boiling pissed.
See, I don't understand men. I don't understand! Men only skim the surface of problems and they think they have solved it.
As the chinese term it, it's Zhi4 biao1 bu3 zhi4 ben3. Meaning, it gets to the leaves but not the root of the problem (or something to that).
For EXAMPLE:
Girl and Guy walk into cafe.
They dine.
Rude waitress comes and spoils the day. Waitress took wrong orders, refuses to change it for free, and is extremely insolent.
Girl is angry.
Girl scolds waitress.
Guy (tries to) calm Girl down.
Girl refuses, because they did not pay so much money to have their meal spoilt by a fucking waitress, PLUS, they are paying for her service, and she should BEHAVE.
Guy pays the bill and told waitress to settle it.
Waitress smirks at Girl, but settles bill.
Guy tells Girl: "Never mind lor, next time just don't come back here."
Girl says, "THATS NOT THE POINT!"
*
See, men don't get it. The money IS NOT THE FUCKING POINT! It's not the point! The point is that the waitress is rude, why should you pay her even a cent?
It's the principle behind the whole fucking thing! Men are ALWAYS like that. I don't understand why they cannot get it.
For example, if a girl says "you don't seem as loving as before" you do not just give her a good fuck and go back to watching soccer. THAT WILL NOT SOLVE THE PROBLEM!
Enough digression. I think you girls totally understand what I mean.
For example today.
I was on my way home on a cab at 1150pm. My place has an ATM machine near, and I did not have enough cash on me.
At 1210am, the cab reached the atm machine. The charge is $9.40, plus midnight charges, which I didn't manage to see how much.
Me, clearly to driver at beginning of journey: "Later you can drop me at the ATM machine at Teban, I stay very near there, so can stop there."
Driver: *Silence*
Me, at the atm later: "You can drop me here. I will stop here."
Driver: *nods but does not move fingers*
Me: "I will stop here, can stop *points at meter* already."
Driver: Same actions
Me: "I will be alighting here, wait for me for a short while k, I'll be fast."
*
I went to withdraw money. When I came back, it was $9.60.
Driver: "$9.60 plus $3.50, pay me $13.00 can already."
HE HAS THE FUCKING NERVE TO ACT MAGNANIMOUS.
Me: "Uncle I told you to stop just now already what! Why now it's $9.60?"
Driver: "Its $13.10 what, not $9.60"
Me: "Yeah I know but just now when I told you to stop its $9.40!"
D: "Yeah but got midnight charge what."
Me: "No!!! What I mean is I asked you four times to stop the meter what."
D, act blur: "Oh, you dropping here ah?"
Me: "I told you so many times!"
D: "That's why I charge you $13 what, it should be $13.10."
Me: "No, just now was $9.40 what! So it shouldn't even hit $13."
D: "HIYAH. A few cents only I give you la! So young, and you are so calculative already!"
HELLO??! It's not about the fucking few cents, it's the bloody principal that he tried to act blur and cheat more money by not stopping the bloody meter! Wah lau. Middleage old man who think that they are always right. I hate them.
Me: "Uncle it's not about the money lor! It's the principle behind it! Why didn't you stop when I told you so many times to?"
Uncle, waving for me to shut up condescendingly: "THEN YOU TELL ME HOW MUCH U WANT TO PAY?!"
I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE PATRONISING ME.
Me: *flustered look* I don't know la, coz the midnight charge didn't start when I boarded. (After some thinking I realised it should be $12.80)
Uncle: "I give you $12.50 la ok??! So young, and so calculative!" (One more fucking thing I hate about middle-aged obstinate old men is that they like to repeat their points like they MUST be right a million times.)
- hand me the money and refused to look at me -
Me: *closes door and leaves a 30 cents richer*
****
It's not the money. You guys must be thinking I am mad. But as I said, it's not about the money at all.
It's about principles. If he has said, "sorry, I didn't understand that you were alighting here" instead of pretending that I never said anything like that when I said it 4 times, I would not be angry at all. In fact, I'll write to comfort telling them they have a spectacular driver. But no.
May I repeat, its not about the money.
If you don't get it, you will grow old and stupid like that uncle. And in the future, teens like me will all be like, "FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT" when they leave your cab.
A little more about tml:
*Troy VS mydreamd8
*A little story about the Greeks and the Trojans
*A little more about the movie.
*Getting myself a boyfriend - must I REALLY become a shu nu?
Email me on what you think man, my gmail is still relatively empty. And why isn't anyone complaining about mydreamd8? Tell me your opinions, I wanna hear them. =D
Congrats to Janice!!!
Righto.
One thing we know: Singtel is honest at least.
Whatever it is, I think the public has eyes to see who should be the rightful winner. She may have won $5,000, but lost all integrity.
Judging from the size of the photos, I think we know who Singtel thinks is the winner huh? ;) *hugs Jan*
I'm feeling pretty pissed though. Whatever makes Singtel think Janice has the most number of fans? It's true that Janice has the most number of fans at the finals, but how would they know that she has the most amount of fans if ALL the contestants were still competing? Some were kicked out even before the "number of voters" thing was implemented.
It's over Wendy, its over. Sheesh already.
On a last note:
NEWS FLASH:
Singtel has deleted my previous blog entry from Mydreamd8.
Why delete it?
Did I manage to hit something right on the spot? Or was I spoiling the excitement for everyone by predicting answers?
Doesn't matter, I still have my own blog site to publish it at. Scroll down a little to read it.
Quoting Sel,
"Oooh I am so gonna continue blogging in mydreamd8 because it is... *squeaks in excitement* so EXCLUSIVE!" - Not exact quote.
To this I give a quizzical look.
*quizzical look*
Judging from both calibre and logic, Mydreamd8 is about as exclusive as a This Fashion membership VIP super golden purple card.
yes it really says Divine Wendy
which, may I digress, is bloody good. $10 per annum and you get 10% off each time, and 20% off during your bdae month.
What's so good about blogging in a site where you get your posts deleted, �fucks� censored, and can't even open full screen?
I'll tell you whats exclusive, Sel.
- XIAXUE.BLOGSPOT.COM -
No one can blog here except me.
Alrighty those of you who would give this a little thought, you would realise I have just contradicted myself, but� WHO CARES?!
Anyway, let�s do more normal blogging.
Today is utterly atrociously hot, don�t ya think? It�s atrocious that the weather can be like that.
Bad day today.
1stly: It�s disgustingly hot.
2ndly: There are like 50 million new interns in TODAY.
What�s happening man? Interns rush?
Although I welcome the idea of new teens around, I feel slightly threatened. Look, I can�t help it. More interns = less desks for us to use. More interns = less work to do. More interns = editor confused over what my name is.
Haiz.
But I�m leaving in like what? Two weeks? I have nothing to complain about actually. My editor and colleagues have all been super nice to me and entrusted me with a lot of work. I WILL JIA YOU and do better!!! * gives a determined look *
The features� girl seems pretty alright though.
Which bring me to the next point actually.
I AM OFFICIALLY UNEMPLOYED IN 2 WEEKS??! Can someone hire me? Please?
Here�s a list of why everyone should hire me:
1) I can write well.
2) I have been trained to write for the press.
3) Having worked in MediaCorp Press, I have loads of contacts to important people.
4) My social skills are good, for I have worked in various service lines.
5) I am effectively bilingual in both Mandarin and English.
6) I do not look repulsive.
7) I am artistically inclined.
8) I�m effectively skilled in photoshop, dreamweaver, html and other computer programs.
9) I have completed my Diploma in Media and Communications, which includes courses on advertising, PR, IT, and writing.
10) I�m a fast learner.
11) I�m a speedy worker.
12) I can work under pressure
13) In conclusion I am smart, talented, and totally worthy of being hired.
Hey I�m not kidding man. If you company is hiring, please do email me at xiaxue@gmail.com, and I�ll send my proper resume over. I promise I will be a good worker. And I would preferably wanna work in the Media. =)
*****
I bought clothes today!!!
Bought this top at Miss Selfridge.
It�s orgasmic.
You know that kinda feeling you get, when you so wanted to buy a top but decided against it, but you so loooooooove the top and you so regret not buying it, but later found out it was on 40% discount and you bought it like much cheaper and it actually has your bloody size??!
That�s what happened man!!!
$29.40.
I cannot stand it. I�m so happy.
Bought this pair of pants as well.
$16, courtesy of, erm, never mind.
I bought this blouse at Bugis today. Love the rhinestones on it! In fact, I decided to apply lens flare on the stones so that it appears nicer. $12.
*****
For old old blog readers� I�ve got news!!!
Remember Jeremy and his shu nu girlfriend??!
Her friendster account says� SINGLE. Weird, Jem�s one says 'In a Relationship' though. Mine says 'Domestic Partner'. =D
I really wonder if they are still together. If they are not, then who is Jem with now?
Proves one thing though. For those of you who emailed me saying they wouldn�t last a few months? It came true. ;)
Never mind la. I can�t be bothered about Jeremy anymore � have moved on.
Just a short blog before I go to bed.
1)
According to reuters, BMW drivers gets the chicks.
How cool is that?!
It seems pretty weird that the Porsche drivers don�t seem to be getting any. Come on, 1.4 times a week is paaaaaaaaathetic. At least if you drive a Pors.
Today, I went out with a guy friend of mine who drives a black BM (courtesy of daddy).
Me: BM drivers are supposed to get laid more often.
Him: Huh? I�m not getting any!
Me: That�s because the car�s not yours! Your dad�s stealing all your chicks.
Him: Do you feel horny now? (while in the car)
Hahaha. Speaking of cars, here�s a blonde joke.
Once there was a filthy rich man who is very miserly. He wanted someone to paint his big porch, but was only willing to fork out S$50.
He put up an ad asking for people to apply if they wanted the job.
The following day, there were, not surprising, no applicants. Except one. It�s a blonde.
�Are you sure u are up to the job?� asked the rich man. �You have to paint the whole porch u know!�
�Sure no problems dude!� said the confident blonde.
The man left the blonde to work while he went back into the house to enjoy some tea.
Half an hour later, the blonde rang the door bell.
�You are done already?� the rich man exclaimed. �How can that be? The porch is so big!�
�Yeah I�m done. And by the way. It�s not a porch, it�s a ferrari.�
Oh oh I just thought of one more.
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town.
He's going through his usual run of stupid blond jokes, when a big blond woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says:
"I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blond jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does a person's physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community, of reaching my full potential as a person ... because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women at large ... all in the name of humour."
Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blond pipes up,
"You stay out of this. Mister, I'm talking to that little guy on your knee!"
Ha ha.
1) Recent activities.
Went to the Heineken Starbar event with Eileen, coz I covered it and we could get free Heineken. ;)
Here�s a blur picture of Chelsea Gibson jazzing the place up.
Now here�s my view of the band twenty minutes later.
There was this stupid women with super gross hair who kept standing right in front of me during the band�s performance.
There was plenty of space for her to move, but she seems bent on frisking my face with her wiry hair. I told her three time, no less, that she is standing too close for comfort and blocking my view, but she simply moved back. Urgh.
Speaking of Heineken, Eileen and I met this cute guy there.
Eileen�s like totally smitten with him, but I find�
His head is just so damn big.
It is so big, that people would notice it and comment that it�s big. We called him dua tao.
Here�s a big head joke, courtesy of Taiwan�s richest drunken driver Jacky Wu.
A: Why is Wu Zhong Xian late for his concert?
B: Because his head was stuck at the door.
Ok not funny.
So anyway, this dua tao guy is possibly pretty cute, but I just cannot get past the big head thing. Isn�t it damn funny? The thing is, you know u have a big head, you should have flat hair what. BUT NO! Hell that man is proud of his big head.
He has long hair spiked up!
He is the one in the middle.
I realise that he doesn�t look that big-headed in the pic.
Let me try to use photoshop to rectify that.
Alright it still doesn�t look very big.
Anyways! Eileen�s really interested in duatao (or she could be drunk), so if you know him, pass me his number or something.
And don�t tell him I said his head is big. Which is he, and he should know, but that�s not the point.
*
Just today, I watched Blood Brothers. GOOD SHOW!! Pretty much boring in the front, but a great twist at the end. 3 and a half stars. ;)
3) The Power of Association
And yes I realised that this blog entry is no longer short.
I was just thinking about this the other day.
You are who you are with.
How true is that?
Consider this:
You are a cashier at a supermarket.
A person buys a bottle of whipped cream
Now, this person buys the whipped cream with
and
YOU WILL ASSUME THE FELLOW IS BUYING THE WHIPPED CREAM FOR BAKING A FREAKING CAKE.
Now consider this:
The person buys the whipped cream.
Together with�
this.
Now consider the role of the whipped cream you assumed.
From an innocent backing item, it has effectively transformed into a sex toy!
Thus, is the power of association.
(p/s: Ardent blogders would know that some time ago I tried to get into the �act rich� image (which cannot work if I am a reporter). I think I did not succeed because my friends are not interested to act rich with me, ha ha.)
If image is important to you� then careful who you are seen with.
4) A Great Analogy
Got this from an email from blogder Steven:
Start with a cage containing five monkeys.
Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana.
As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water.
After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result - all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, anytime when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.
Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs.
To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked.
The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth.
Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked.
Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.
After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana.
Why not?
Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been done around here.
The analogy has been used on company policies in the email, but I feel it could be used for religion as well, or any other thing that involves blind faith. Blind faith is STUPID. Why do people not question?
I do not mean to be offensive here, but remind me again what�s the problem with eating pork? Yes, it was dirty in the past. Now it�s not. AND DOGS ARE NOT DIRTY. =(
Alrighty I will get hatemail for this.
Read The Full Article
It�s a Monday again, SOON.
For the past few months or so, every Monday meant the same thing to me: Two freaking Dreamd8 contestant gets eliminated.
Alrighty, here are my predictions for who will win.
Since TODAY seems uninterested to do an article on dreamd8, I shall conduct an interview with myself, ala newspaper style.
*****
Marketing, it�s all marketing
The last eight contestants of Mydreamd8 fight tooth and nail for US$5,000.
FOR the last eight contestants of internet �moblog� contest Mydreamd8, it must be a tantalizing moment.
Come Monday morning, we would see one lucky male contestant and one lucky female contestant walk away US$5,000 richer. The remaining 6 contestants are not too far back though, at least they won a cruise abroad Superstar Virgo, a proud sponsor of the first of its kind blogging reality show.
The contest has Singtel spend huge amounts urging the public to vote for the contestants via 1900 calls or sms, but with rather futile efforts.
For the most popular contestant, there are but 301 unique voters � a far way off from what Singtel has compared the reality contest to � American Idol.
For CoffeeBiatchBoi, another one of the last 8 remaining contestants, a mere 6 unique voters are all that he has got.
One cannot mistaken that the amount of voters would necessarily represent a winning contestant though, for the amount of times each voter can vote is unlimited.
For example, another contestant, PixiePosh, has as little as 60 voters as compared to fellow contestant Xiaxue � who had 200, the week Xiaxue was ousted.
�I believe there is some foul play,� said Xiaxue, a look of disdain on her face. �I think that some of the contestants are voting themselves shamelessly, and voting others OUT as well.�
Xiaxue�s unminced words earned the wrath of PixiePosh, who wrote a memorable blog entry insulting Xiaxue, which has been taken off the site since.
Such was how exciting the contest was if you manage to wade through the grammatically-torturing words (some of) the contestants wrote (and plagiarised), but yet, it seems that the attention it got was merely lukewarm.
Perhaps the reason could be accounted to the fact that internet matters just cannot be advertised via traditional mediums. What are the chances, after seeing an ad on TV mobile, you would go home to check out the website?
While the contest may not have won immense public popularity nor attention (nor returns, for that matter), it has certainly fulfilled Singtel�s marketing ploy to appear to cater to the youth market and attract more adolescent users.
Another purpose of the contest was to bridge the ties between Singtel and its fat-walleted subsidiary, Optus.
Here we have with us one of the finalists, Xiaxue, to tell us who she predicts will be the winner.
Journalist Wendy:
Hi Xiaxue! You look pretty shitty in real life.
Xiaxue:
Yeah, ha ha� I�m good at photoshop.
JW:
Cut the crap, who do you predict will win?
Xiaxue:
I say, Guy23 and Leese.
JW:
Why so? Leese has 25 voters while Janice has 301!
Xiaxue:
May I quote Asia Times. If one bothers to read the newspapers, it is stated that Singtel has made a loss this year. However, it has still managed to gain an overall profit, because its subsidiary Optus is doing very well. So well, that in fact, it managed to cover up the loss.
Such is how much Singtel would treasure its relationships with Optus. Mydreamd8 is but one method to bring the relationship one step further.
The Aussie side of the contest seems pretty unhappy that their sms fees are higher, and it is less advertised in Australia.
If Singtel were to let their both winners come from Singapore, I predict that Optus would be really unhappy.
JW:
No�! You are not saying� the results are rigged?
Xiaxue:
Hey, what makes you say that? Leese could have each of her25 voters spend $1,000 each.
However, there is a problem here. The cruise abroad Superstar Virgo comes as a much better prize to the Aussies than the Singaporeans. You see, they come with a free air ticket to get to SG.
I suspect that the aussies, seeing that the fees are higher and such, could have given up the idea of winning (ie by voting for themselves), and be content that they can come to Singapore free!
If Leese�s result is such a far way off from Janice�s, then Singtel would have to let Janice win, or face the wrath of 301 people.
In any case, Singtel has their asses covered. The judges� decisions are final, babe.
JW:
How about PixiePosh? She seems to be boring and unpopular yet managed to go to this stage. If, as you said, she is voting for herself, then surely she will go all the way at this final stage? If the results are not rigged, I mean.
Xiaxue:
Well, being the 3rd prize winner of Miss Vasantham, Posh is $3,000 richer. The amount she spent voting for herself is thus negligible.
If she is smart, which she isn�t, she should consider these facts:
1) Singtel would not want a person who is so crude and disliked by so many (and liked by so little) to be their ambassador. Think Janice. Now think Posh. Who looks like a better girl to represent Singtel? Someone with an ugly tattoo on her ankle, or someone sweet and totally lovable with a sunshiny smile? Posh�s entry on me has received bad feedback from the audience. Her uncivilised manner is definitely NOT what Singtel is looking for.
2) Posh plagiarised her various works on an official Singtel site. This is a big mistake. Not disqualifying her is kindness on Singtel�s part. Letting her win is ridiculous.
3) Posh is far less popular than Janice.
4) Posh cannot write for NUTS. If she represents what good blogging should be, everyone in the blogging community would laugh their asses off.
Now, considering all the above facts, a smart Posh would stop voting for herself (WAKE UP! Singtel would NOT let u win!) and save the money to get rid of that hideous thing on her ankle.
JW:
Wow, you seem to hate her.
Xiaxue:
She is a cheater, there is no reason for me not to.
JW:
For the guys side?
Xiaxue:
I support Junadi and I hope he wins, for he is the only guy who can string a bunch of words together well enough for quality reading. Actually Spunky�s not bad too. However, I suspect that Junadi is too honest to vote for himself. Definitely not getting him anywhere.
JW:
Thank you Xiaxue for your time!
Xiaxue:
You are welcome. I loved you article on Alicia Calaway, by the way.
JW:
Oh. Look out for my Eye For a Guy one out tomorrow.
Well well well. Who will it be? Find out, tomorrow at 8am. Don't need to hold your breath. =D
Read The Full Article
