I know some of you have been disappointed these few days...

Good news: Blogging in progress.

Check back in say... two hours? If you are not asleep yet. =) I shall go bathe first - and that usually takes like 1 hour anyway. Shall blog when I am spanking clean.

Love,
Xiaxue

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Pictures only...

I'm like freaking tired after shopping with Eileen (followed by Marche!), so I think I shall not blog.

Instead, I have some pictures that I did edited... Bah.

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MSN chat with Shuyin

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Hello, Blogger's partner who is kindly hosting the pictures, does not seem to be working very well... Its bot went offline!!!



But look! The program allows "falling" smileys!! Darn cute! And you can actually flood them like Shuyin did!

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Why my job rules.

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June's birthday, we took neoprints!!!




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I cannot stand stupid people. I cannot stand stupid people who are politically correct even more.

Common stupid person 1:
"Oh Xiaxue, you are so MEAN to critisize Sandy Chua!!! You are a meanie!"

First off, before you open your big fat mouth, READ carefully. I did not critisize her. I critisized HER PICTURE. I said, that's a awful PICTURE! Should I repeat that one last time for stupid people?

Sandy Chua has a bad PICTURE - she is not ugly!

I win.

Common stupid person 2:
"Would you like others to do it to you too? Think about her feelings!!"

I did not enter a fucking BEAUTY contest, which if I did, would symbolise that I think I look good. If I think I look good, you can argue with me and say that I don't look good. However, since I have never said I look good (the profile About Me part is a JOKE), I don't think I deserve being called names for my looks since there is nothing to argue for. Thus, "others" doing it to me instead of Chua would be less justified.

But in any case, I will accept constructive criticism anyway. If Sandy wants to photoshop my ugly photos, I will readily listen to her tick away about what went wrong.

To add, since Chua entered a fucking beauty contest, she must be prepared to be critisized. Else, go live a normal, non beauty-contestant life like everyone else.

I win.

Common stupid person 3:
"You think you damn pretty meh? You so pretty, you go join la! If you not pretty, then what rights do you have to critisize her?"

This one is the dumbest of all. It is basically saying, if you are fat, you are not allowed to say another person is fat.

WHICH IS BULLSHIT.

Even if I am fat, I have all rights to say another is fat because being fat does not affect my correct judgement of what is fat.

*snaps fingers* HELLO?? NOT MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE!

Giving dumb people an analogy:

If only pretty people are supposed to judge that others' looks, then the judges for Miss Universe can only be judged by previous Miss Universe winners. WHICH, may sound like an actuall feasible idea - until you realise that no one will judge the first Miss Universe pageant. Duh.

But then again, I do agree. Imagine this fat guy telling another fat guy that he's fat. Pretty stupid right?

But now, imagine this: A fat guy joins a Slim&Fit contest. Now, can the other fat guy say "Siao, he so fat, he join this sort of contest for what?!"

You get me don't you?

Cheers, I win.

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Since we are on the topic of fat - I think no one should be fat in the cyberworld. Lookie what photoshop did for Miss Malaysia:





It could go supermodel thin but I left her some baby fats...

HUH? Did I hear something about not trusting slimming ads?

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Oh yeah. You possibly should read these two as well!!

My photo byline looks like a lao ti ko.

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Some Song Lyrics...

I know I said that song lyrics on blogs suck, but here's one song that touched me so much, I must share it...

BAI LIU LI BAI!!!!



HUI BU HUI KAI!!!!


[Quick tempo X 2]
Bai liu li bai hui bu hui kai

Bai liu li bai hui bu hui kai

~To be continued till MRT comes

That song is so fucking traumatizing, that I wished Jack Neo chokes to death on a nail clipper.

That song is so fucking traumatizing, it gets into your head subconsciously, and then you wash the dishes, and then you hum to yourself...

BAI LIU LI BAI!!!!



HUI BU HUI KAI!!!!


[Quick tempo X 2]
Bai liu li bai hui bu hui kai

Bai liu li bai hui bu hui kai


and then you go like, "WHAT THE FUCK AM I SINGING!?" and then you have to slap yourself awake, thus breaking your neck in the process and there! you have an excuse to go to the hospital on a cab so u can't hear the song at the train station.

That song is so fucking traumatizing, this Malay auntie standing behind me on the escalator down started to sing it to her friend (in immaculate Mandarin mind you), and her friend ran down the escalator in fright.

I fainted and rolled down as well.

(For non-Singaporeans, I'm sorry, but there is no way I can explain how traumatized Public-transport-taking locals are with the song without u hearing it first.)

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Miss Singapore Universe

Since my previous post was such an enjoyment (as judged by only myself), I shall put up another post about Miss Singapore Universe 2004, Miss Sandy Chua.

I know the topic's outdated, but let's just talk about it one last time.

Okie, now, we all know that Miss Chua has utmost injustice done to her, because even though she is pretty ordinary-looking, my guess is that no one would say she is... ugly.

But looking at this photo, only that terrible F-word could come to mind:


Fugly.

My point is, she had a very badly taken photo, yes?

Of course.

Let's discuss (and when I say discuss I mean I talk among myself) what's so wrong about the picture.

1)Starting from top, Eyebrows extremely obviously one thick one thin.

2)Speaking of brows, they are too arched as well, giving the evil "vixen, come fuck me" look.

3) Colour on forehead not smooth - has a two bloody obvious pimples.

4) Eye make up is really bad - Dark shadow only on edge of eyes, giving slutty look. Artist tried to create a deeper shading beside the nose bridge but failed miserably

5) EYEBAGS! Why, can't Trump even afford concealer? Or do I detect RACISM? I don't see Australia with eyebags!

6) No eyelashes! I heard the two-sided Loreal one works, Sandy!

7) AND WHAT'S WITH THE STUPID COLOUR CONTACTS?!

8)I don't see blusher, do you?

9) Nose too big!

10) Lips too thick. And too red (look more like slut), and teeth are too big.




Alright, pretty long list, but we are done.

If only Sandy had brought me along with her on that Equador trip! A little bit of photoshop could really save her life!! I'd bet, that some good photoshop can take away all those blemishes.

You think?

Let me try to work some magic...


































There you go, the revamped Sandy Chua:



Tried to make the colours nicer, and take away all the ugly stuff. While we are at that, I made her hair nicer too!

Side by side comparison:



What do you think?

Anyone need photoshopping? I charge a mimimal fee! And I wouldn't post ur photo on my blog, I swear!

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MY GOODNESS!

This is so mean!!!

Lookie what I found on the web!! Who could have done this!!!

*winks* (Thanks Ling [blogder])

Oh no... It couldn't be Posh la... The face so blur, don't think it's her right?

But the boobs seem not bad la, hor?

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Urgh!

Wah lau! Such a fucking embarrassment.

Seriously, isn't this a super ugly photo?



I mean, compared to this?



Paraguay. Absolutely gorgeous.

Even Xiaofeng looks prettier than Sandy Chua lor, please.

How to even compete? Not a chance man!

Come to think of it, China's worse.



Will you just look at how empty that bikini top is??! MY GOODNESS.

AND THE BAD MAKE UP!!! She needs a professional's help.

With so many million people, is that the best they can come up with?? Atrocious.

Singapore can take heart though... It's not that bad...

At least our neighbour's delegate is.. I would say... much fatter.





Look at that tummy! I think someone has been eating too much Penang laksa (she's from there).

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Harry Potter and... Xiaxue's blog entry about him

I know it�s a tad late for this blog entry to come about, but since I took (and edited!) so many photos I may as well put them up.

Ok, first, I want to imagine my face now. It�s SMIRKING. I have this I-have-got-something-you-don�t Face which you�ll possibly feel like smacking. And then kicking. But I will still be smirking. *smirks*

This is because, MONDAY, which was eons ago, I had this:



�BIG FAT HAIRY DEAL!� I hear you scream.

It�s just a flimsy Harry Potter postcard.

WRONG.

Let�s open it up.



OH MY GOODNESS IT�S FREE MOVIE PASSES!

Still, so?

Maybe you didn�t look carefully enough. Here�s a closer look.



It�s the prestigious GALA premiere ok! I am damn hao lian because I�ve waited for Harry Potter 3 for so DARN long and I�m one of the first to watch it!! Yaaay!!



Watched with Wong the lawyer, who kindly posed for a photo beside the Knight bus outside Cine. It�s so cute! They had ang moh kids running inside the bus in black robes. And we watched the movie with the kids too!
So anyway, let�s talk about the movie.

I am very disappointed with Sirius Black. =(



Have you seen this wizard indeed! Of course not, he's definitely no Brad Pitt! Look, in Order of The Phoenix, Sirius was described as being a total hunk in school.

He was in fact, so hunky, that Lily Potter tried to seduce him by engorgio-ing her breasts, but failed because there were too many girls using the same trick, and stuck to James Potter instead.

Just kidding.

But he WAS described as being really droolable. Think there was this one scene where he was sitting down on a chair somewhere with his long legs up on some table and thinking he is goddamn handsome when� I forgot. And I�m not about to flip that thick book to find it.

Anyway, the point is that the actor they found was such a disappointment! I expected someone at least Tom Cruise standards (but taller).

To add, many of the cast was changed as well, such as Neville (he is no longer dark-blonde and pudgy but skinny with a horse-face now!) and strangely, there were many more black kids as well.

Think some of the previous white classmates turned themselves black over the long holiday.

Dumbledore was changed as well. =( But boh pian la, the original actor is dead.

Oh yeah I forgot to mention:

I will be flying to the great Britain to cast for Cho Chang. I�m perfect ok! Xiaxue = Cho Chang. The next time u read the book, Cho Chang�s face is mine.

Another interesting thing to note (and which all the newspapers have been harping on as well), is that the child cast has grown up!!!

Now girls, it�s almost legal to fantasize about Daniel Radcliff (how to spell?) now!!! He is so DARN CUTE!

Lookie!



Oh man� Wong had to continuously remind me that this is PG.

I mean seriously. Can Playboy pay him to strip or something?

Digressing a little, let�s talk about Hermione (Emma Watson). You will notice, of course, that I don�t give a shit about Ron (coz he is not, quite, sexy enough to be talked about).



That�s Hermione, THEN.

Let�s compare her to the other child star SLUTS.

EG:



OOPS!

WRONG PICTURE. Of course the Olsen Twins are not sluts.

THEN.



Now they are. And I so wanna bitchslap them. What�s the fetish about twins! Isn�t it gross to think of two sisters playing with each other�s breasts?

Or could it be that there is a good thing. And then there�s double of that good thing? Ok this makes a little sense.

But still, SLUTS.

And then here�s her.



Whatever happened to the innocence? And where did those giant boobs come from suddenly?



Not to forget Hilary Duff and some others, but MY POINT IS.

Isn�t Hermione so nice compared to them?

Watching Mean Girls with Lohan flashing her titties was pretty enjoyable � until I watched Harry Potter and realized how saturated the teenage sex market is. Hermione is smart (�You are indeed the smartest witch of your times!� ~ Sirius Black), and nonchalant about her looks, and she is even complete with a sense of justice.

How cool is that?

Emma will never be like the blonde sluts!


* VOICE BOOMING FROM ABOVE *

�YOU ARE WRONG, XIAXUE!!�

What?

�LOOK!�



Oh no no no� Hermione with make up!!

�HA HA HA! AND HERE�S ONE MORE!�



OMG I am so jealous!!! I possibly should mention there's this other scene where Hermione fall down, chest-first, into Harry's lying body... Oh somebody shut me up.

And will someone remind Emma Watson not to turn into a child slut please! I�d gladly take that place in Potter�s arms. =)

WHICH I WILL! Because I will be cast as Cho Chang remember? He will kiss me below the mistletoe. =)

So anyway, back to Potter.

Am I the only person who thinks that Potter looks like Bill Gates?

Here�s a picture of Harry Potter growing old:



isn�t it just UNCANNY??

Speaking of Gates, am I also the only one who think he is quite cute?

I mean, I don�t mind marrying him. But then again, who would mind?



Not bad looking what.



Ok, people have their ugly moments.



Ok now I�m convinced.

But anyway, look!



Bill reads my blog too!!!

*waves to Bill

(*author�s note: Have some more to blog about, but I think I�m going KTV, will continue soon.)

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