Mr Tay replied my mail!!! *only you loyal blogders know what I'm talking about*
Got free tickets to watch Spiderman today, shall blog after that. Ta ta!!
*skips in pleasure*
*whoops in joy*
2004-06-29
I am so elated!!!
2004-06-28
ALL MEN WATCH PORN
ALL. Absolutely all. Except blind men. And they enjoy it, therefore they watch it. If Shaolin monks had Kazaa, they would type in "The Hot Chick" to act as if they are downloading a decent movie, but actually they gei gei click on the "Blonde hot chick get fucked muliple times" movie when you turn your back away from the screen. Ok, maybe the shaolin monks would download Huang Fei Hong - The Movie, first. THEN "THE HOT CHICK".
Digressing a little, let's talk about being fucked by a lot of people at one time. Now, how is that possible?
I once watched this porn flick which is EXTREMELY funny. I must say, the director is very creative.
There was this blonde girl with big tits lying naked on a table, just lying there like a dead fish?
Suddenly, six burly men appeared out of nowhere. They started to strip. And then they started to brush their teeth. Kidding, they didn't brush their teeth.
First guy takes her in her privates.
Second guy takes the mouth.
3rd and 4th guy gets a handjob.
AND THE LAST TWO PUT THEIR DICKS IN BETWEEN HER TOES!!! And can you believe they had to fuck her feet until they cum???
DAMN FUNNY SIA!!! Somemore, the toe-fuckers had to pretend as if it is damn shiok to toe-fuck!! You see their fake expressions, damn funny!! "Woooh, It feels so good, my penis is in between toes!!!"
Imagine this:
Director: "Oei my porn stars!! Come here!"
Male star 1: "What's it this time? Redheads? I love shaved redheads."
Director: "No, it's a blonde with big tits. But something different."
Male Star 2: "Ok, my eight incher is all excited."
Director: "Oh you naughty boy! Here, ballot."
MALE STARS, ALL: "For fuck?"
Director: "Precisely."
Male Star 3: "No, we mean, for what?"
Director: "Oh. Just choose a piece of paper! I'm paying you guys ok!"
Male Star 3: "You want to choose who takes ass again is it? I'll volunteer."
Director: "Stop taking cock. I mean, stop talking. And pick one."
MALE STARS, ALL: *grumble grumble* -takes a piece each-
Male Star 5: "HIYAH! I KANNA THE TOES!!!!!!!!! Don't want lah! Don't like that!!! WHY I SO SUAY ONE??!"
Male Star 6: *faints* -In his balled up hand is a strip of paper that writes "behind ear"-
Director: -nudges the faintee- "Oei! I joking only la!!"
Moving swiftly back to my audacious statement that all men watch porn.
The Dalai Lama possibly imagines himself fucking that jap schoolgirl as ... Dalai Lama. Kinky.
ALL MEN WATCH PORN. Ugly men, fat men, stupid men, presidents, taxi drivers, nasi lemak guy, ah beng, ah beng, Brad Pitt, etc, ALL WATCH PORN. Just like of all them masturbate. Men who say they don't, are liars.
What's there not to like about porn? Even the most "satisfied" man possibly not be able to fulfil all his sexual fantasies. Let's talk about, say, JLo's husband, while we assume that JLo is the sexiest woman alive (she is not, but I say ASSUME).
So, the person fucking JLo would possibly be very happy. She is like, JLO LEH!
But, can JLo be a kinky blonde nurse tomorrow? Will she even swallow? Can she blow well? Possibly can't fulfil all those fantasies So, the next best thing this man can do, is to watch porn.
Which you would realise by now, that watching a blonde nurse swallow would possibly not be as good as fucking JLo in real life.
So that's one major mistake I made. Big deal. So let's assume that this lucky man has JLo fulfilling all his sexual needs (Can you imagine JLo swallowing? I can't. She looks like the kind who will kick your ass if you dare ask her to swallow. Like, "ME, JLO, SWALLOW? WHY, JUST BECAUSE MY NAME RHYMES? NO WAY! I AM JENNY FROM THE BLOCK YOU KNOW!") and he does not desire to watch porn.
But, hand him a video cam and JLo's consent, and you can be sure as hell he would film it down, because IT WAS SO GOOD!
And then, when he watches the video he recorded, AHA THERE YOU HAVE IT! HE'S WATCHING PORN!! So all men watch porn - it's not a fallacy at all.
Stop being politically correct and agree with me, NOW! Even the girls!!
A L L M E N W A T C H P O R N! Except blind men, and those who can't afford it. Read The Full Article
2004-06-27
2004-06-25
Did I already say my job rules?
Or rather, ex job.
Since I have ended my marvellous internship.
I'd blog about my experience there, but I'm too tired now, so I shall do it tmr.
Remind me to blog about Wong the Lawyer's birthday trip as well.
Look how happy the birthday girl is?
oh sorry, that's June's birthday.
So anyway, back to why my job rules.
"Yaay!"
If you are a girl, you possibly crave for ...
Jerry Yan
Vic Chou
Fan Yi Chen
Qiu Zhe
And perhaps throwing in some other females singers would not be a bad thing too.
CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT SO MANY CUTE STARS ARE ALL IN ONE CONCERT?? WHAT ARE THE CHANCES OF THAT HAPPENING??!
I'm covering the Gen Y concert, and I'm gonna see them all!!!!!!!
I think I am choking in anticipation.
Read The Full Article
Xiaxue's undies
In this atrocious blog post of mine, I shall show everyone my panties.
I have decided to be more open-minded. What's with a bit of underwear?
I've took a long time to make this decision.
Please do not say I am a slut ... It wasn't easy being one ...
TADAH!!
Taken during my 2 year old birthday (you can see the cake) or something. LOL. I think my underwear had "I love Mom" on it, ha ha!!
So cute ah? :)
p/s: No, I didn't photoshop the photo.
2004-06-24
"The difference between you and her, is that when I do something wrong, she thinks of the good I have done, and forgives me."
For Alvin.
2004-06-22
Pink Kinkiness
There�s this new thing at Mos Burger that is possibly the next best thing since tampons.
Frozen strawberries! Beautiful fingernails courtesy of Shuyin.
Lookie what�s inside!
So yummy! The strawberry, succulent and fresh, is half-coated with creamy white chocolate, and the interior of the strawberry is filled with condensed milk � smooth and wet! I like! Oh yeah the ugly nail belongs to me.
And of course, the best thing is that IT IS FUCKING CHEAP!!!!!!!!!! Like, ridiculously cheap! It's selling at three for $1!!! Any cheaper, and it would be Annabelle Chong!
What can you buy for $1? Take a smelly bus ride? Eat half a packet of chicken rice? Go to the Far East toilet five times?
I say, 3 Mos strawberries are more worth your money.
Shuyin takes a bite�
BRAINFREEZE!! What a spectacular Kodak moment.
*****
If anyone has noticed, Miss Selfridge is no longer available in Singapore! Which is good, considering I think Miss Selfridge sucks because the size 6s are forever unavailable (Cmon on, this is SINGAPORE and Asians are more petite. Who the hell would buy so many size 14s?) and it is too expensive anyway.
Replacing Miss Selfridge at the basement of Taka is this shop called Fox, which is pretty good!
Wong the Lawyer says that we should not buy clothes from there because it's from the Middle East, and the only good thing about Middle East is their camels. Actually she didn't say that but that's not the point. She just thinks Middle East stuff is cheap.
So anyway, nobody cared about what she said I bought a nice top from there! $20.
Lookie! It's so Mean Girls - if only I had the blonde hair and big boobs.
That's a pair of shorts, in case you are wondering. And yes, the belly's pierced.
Me with a screwed up face. Duh.
Erm, the pose is a tad too provocative, you think?
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