Xiaxue.blogspot.com - Everyone's reading it.

2005-05-29

Holidays!

Dear blogders,

I'd be off for a holiday to Bintan till Tuesday! Updates when I come back. =)

2005-05-27

One of the trademark things about Singapore is her swelteringly hot weather, and I constantly whine about it. Having waist-long hair doesn't help, and neither does whining, but it makes me happy that others are irritated together with me.

But I get irritated right back: because Singaporeans are so fond of saying the Chinese saying "If the heart is calm it will naturally be cool(ing)".

Whenever someone says that I get fits and start foaming at the mouth. Stop it already; that sentence doesn't make sense! My prompt reply is always, "Oh yeah? Let's put you into a microwave and see if it is still cool!"

Most people wilt under my malevolent glare and scurry away, with the exception of my friend's ex who replied, "You find me a microwave big enough first!" — which is obviously not the point, so let's not talk about him.

The thing is, if it is hot it is hot. Whether your heart is icy or not, your skin is programmed to feel the temperature (with the exception of those religious people who dance on hot coals or something)! I hate people who pretend to be smart alecks just because they managed to sprout a useless proverb. So? If I meditate I'd stop feeling the heat is it? Nonsense.

There are more. When's the last time you relaxed just because someone told you to? Or calmed down? I get doubly agitated whenever people ask me to relax.

Why do Singaporeans like to ask their counterparts to "Relax lah!" during an argument? It doesn't soothe my soul, it doesn't calm my nerves. It does nothing except to get me indignant about being "not relaxed". I'd box the next person who tells me to relax. No one can say that except my masseuse.

Here's another to your face: Be yourself.

Excuse me, but if I am not myself who else can I be? Even if I choose to be, say, Shrek, I have thus decided to be all green and uncivilised, so that's the new me. I am being myself!

I am also very sick of this one: What time is it?

It must have been years since that blasted Tiger Beer campaign, and occasionally, sneakily, when you are least expecting it, somebody replies "It's Tiger Time!" to the above question while you groan in resignation. Not again. That has ceased being funny around five years ago.

The early bird gets the worm? How about that worm now? Because he woke up early, he got eaten by that bird first!

Come on my fellow Singaporeans. Some proverbs are just useless, so stop using them, thinking by stringing seven words together it makes you a genius. It just makes you really, really sad.

p/s: If you think the style is a different, the piece is meant for *ahem*. Never mind, not supposed to say.

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Nice site: Phamous69, gotten from Petes. ;)

As the title suggests, it is strictly for the mature audience only. The site is beautiful! Very nice right, I want my site to be like all diamond-ly also... Any web designer would like to do my site for me? I'd advertise for you, haha...

Anyway, my absolute favourite is "Charity" under images. She moves! Have fun. =)

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Fucking stupid people all around

Why are some people so dumb? I wrote about the 'marriage proposal' because I thought Kenny's blog is hilarious and I wanted to introduce my readers to him. Simple as that. And for a laugh.

What he wrote back, I thoroughly enjoyed reading. I do not see the "blog war", nor the offence. Hell, if I can take a photo of myself looking like Yoda, I don't see why I should be angry if Kenny photoshops my photos (well done too!!), and Kenny knows that.

Well, for the bulk of you who have a sense of humour, I hope you liked both our entries. =)

Meanwhile, I've been generating, once again, a frenzy of hate posts with the recent media exposure.

I get annoyed when, once again, I see some obscure blogger bash me, AND READERS SAY, LET'S REJOICE, FINALLY SOMEONE SPEAKS UP AGAINST XIAXUE!

Finally? Finally?

Yes, rejoice my hairy ass. Almost every other day someone writes something bad about me - what's the big fucking deal? These dumbass readers go like, "Wow, you are so brave, you dare to speak up against all 8,000 of her blind admirers!"

Wow, so brimming with courage, I feel like putting you in Griffindor right now! It is so courageous, it made me cry! *hugs a nearby tree*

Let me say something sensible now will you? Let me tell you the reason why everywhere in the internet, opinions are popping up, mostly against me.

BECAUSE ALL XIAXUE-RELATED ARTICLES ARE BOUND TO GET RESPONSES.

Like me or hate me, you cannot ignore me.

There you go, my arrogance! Another reason to dislike me yeah? Go on, siphon all your life's misery into this important task of judging how much you abhor this internet creature when you don't even know her!

For all you know, she might have given up MRT seats to your granny, but heck that. Let's hate her. Wooh, I hate it that some average looking girl is making it big. I want to watch her fall! I am not mean, narrow-minded and spiteful! I am not! Just because every other mean, narrow-minded and spiteful person is doing the same as me!

Back to the reason why bloggers everywhere are abusing me. Because they are cheapo entrepreneurs. They KNOW. A usual bland entry about, say, their pets having rabies? NOBODY CARES. Or perhaps a nice entry about how they turned gay? STILL NOBODY CARES. I know I know! *Ditsy dumb blonde look* How about this? I shall abuse Xiaxue and get people's reactions!

For your information, dingbat: The readers who abuse me on your comments link -YOUR PRECIOUS READERS who are so superior to my supposed "mindless droves", WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?

One blindly admires, the other blindly bashes. The same, I tell you. Therefore - you are no better than me. (Though I would never advocate that a writer is judged by his/her readers, unlike these dumb people)

I whore my writing for my readers? Look who's the whore here? At least, I come up with my own interesting materials.

Stop using me to provoke a reaction from your readers - go write your own interesting stuff and now, now my dear... WHY NOT SHUT THE FUCK UP AND JUST ADMIT THAT YOUR BLOG IS FUCKING BORING? When this Xiaxue-hatred wave goes over, no doubt because another person cottoned on and decided to write something more malicious, you get forgetten yet again, you absymal writer, you.

Seriously la people. Can please give me a break? It doesn't feel good to read people abusing you all day. I am very sick of reading the same old shit over and over again.

That I am fat and think I am thin.

That I am cheating people with my good photoshop skills (how is it cheating when I admitted I do photoshop, siao. Hate stupid people).

That I am dumb yet act smart. That I am NOT PRETTY (no need to argue until like RJC vs NJC varsity debate, nobody saying I pretty, so you win, I ugly, ok?).

That I am not deserving of being Singapore's most popular blogger, and, when they realised they are the ones contributing to my readership everyday, turn the tables and say only stupid, horny or crazy people read my blog.

That my grammar's horrible.

That I am a disgrace because foreigners read my blog and think all Singaporeans are lewd like me (so ludicrous, I have developed a stony silence).

-That was the stony silence-

That other bloggers are much better but why, so unfair, only Xiaxue get the attention.

That I am so full of myself and so arrogant.

That I am so vulgar, how can be termed as best Asian blog... dah dah dah, dah dah dah.

It is not my fault I have certain, well, over-zealous (stop being so over-zealous) readers, it is not my fault the media decided to interview me more recently, it is most certainly not a wrong to write whatever I want on my site, as long as it doesn't harm anyone (who did nothing to deserve it).

So stop it already. How about a little appreciation for putting Singapore on the world blogosphere? Or maybe a little "thanks for giving us something to read on a lonely night"? Oh no... Let's be really stingent with our compliments, and dish out the criticism, because that's the way Singaporeans are, aren't they?

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I am in such a bad mood. Why do you horrid people (only the horrid ones) always have to spoil things for me whenever I am feeling happy? I was feeling happy because I managed not to call the guy I like for the past 3 days. I was feeling happy because Eekean bought a lovely pair of shoes for me, from Vietnam. I was feeling happy because I am having good business opportunities, and crap comes up, i.e my mom tells me that from today onwards I have to do my own laundry.

PUI!

Ok la to be fair the laundry part has nothing to do with blogders.

I'm rambling yeah? Indeed. I shall stop rambling, though I thought, well, maybe the rambling would remind some people that I AM FUCKING WRITING FOR MYSELF AND NOT THE FUCKING MASS PUBLIC. Don't like to read then go away lah. *mumble mumble*

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2005-05-24

Please scold me...

It is time to update the media center - I've got 3 new TV interviews, two new cover pages of dailies and many small small articles but I AM SO FUCKING LAZY and unmotivated. Please nag me, scold me and abuse me to it NOW and stop procrastinating!

LIKE NOW!

Don't want lah. I think I go sleep. Or maybe play some game.

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