Now now, where is that darned photo?!
There it is:
I am feeling better now. All the hatemails in the world cannot get me down, because all 250 of you sent me such encouraging emails. I'm sorry if I didn't reply some, but rest assured I read it, and I appreciate them all. Some even made me cry some more, which is kinda not good lah, eyes very puffy already... =)
How could I have forgotten? It is true it is the people who matter to me that I should care about. Shuyin, Wanyi and so many of my friends standing up for me is just worth more than anything else in the world.
Not to mention that a special person also gave me a hug today. :D
Who cares about the detractors? They all have sand in their vaginas so they are all so grumpy. Adds to my readership anyway.
They don't love me never mind. My grandparents love me... Very very much!
See, ye ye is so happy I came to visit him!
The way to a guy's heart is through his parents, Turodrique says. If they approve of you, you've won half the battle. Therefore, I SHALL CHANGE IMAGE!
I bought EMO glasses! I shall wear them although I have perfect eyesight!
My grandma tries them on...
She is so cute right... Hahaha
And no make up! How? Look very decent right? Except for the blonde curls lah hor, look like a slut.
Sigh...
I am a very lucky girl indeed to have you all.
More blogging soon. =)
Thank you to all my readers, to Shuyin, Wanyi and Wong and Peter and of coz Mommy and everyone who has stood up for me for this terrible ordeal.
Thank you for your kind words and your fighting for the unfairness and injustice done to me.
Even as I write about how terribly my reputation has been tarnished, about how helpless I feel I can hear hate mail ringing in my ears. Imaginary ones that are actually not happening.
I can hear people saying that I deserve this to happen to me because I wrote mean things about SPG first. That I deserve this downfall, that I deserve it coz fame has gotten to my head.
I have never thought of hurting anyone. I only blog out my thoughts. I know they are sometimes mean, but I am just saying my true feelings. I know readers like me to maintain my honesty even though I am so mainstream now, so I try my best to. I really do you know. You people only know how criticise me, to scold me, to say my blog entries are not up to par anymore, and how I am losing my touch, not funny anymore, but do you see the struggle behind everything?
How difficult it is for me to maintain honesty on this very public domain where people are always picking on me, and constantly on the prowl for my weaknesses to attack me?
I can tell you, if I were a less famous blogger, if I had written the exact same entry on SPG it would be funny instead of whatever words you all used to describe it. I wrote it because I know 3 years ago I would have written the same thing, and I wanted to maintain my old style.
Nobody has told me I deserve this deluge of media framing, but I just hear these voices in my head going on and on you know? I cannot stop crying from the helplessness and I think I am just going crazy.
People say such means things you know? You have no idea, you who send me hate mails, how difficult it is to live on when so many people ask you to die. What did I do wrong? Just by saying a pair of tits are not pretty?
Just to show u some:
It irks me, and I daresay half the male population in Singapore, to have
to tell you that you are a nasty bitch for attacking the lady known as
sarongpartygirl.
We may not agree with her philosophy in life, but at least she's honest, and upfront with her views. Plus she does not stoop so low as to deface somebody else's photo, nude or clothed.
You have demeaned yourself, and all Singapore females, for being a foul mouthed and petty toad to be so obviously jealous of someone else stepping into the limelight, whether intended or not. Yes, you claimed no such green eyes, but this time Photoshop will not help you. The words are all there, on your own blog and in the local media, even though you may be blind to the fact because of your pathetic
understanding of the English language. This is where sarongpartygirl shines. She writes, you scribble. And, despite your sick doodling, she has a nice bod, something you'll never understand. Grow up will ya, guys will always prefer real women rather than little girls in pink frocks and heavy make-up (with or without help of Photoshop).
Bleah!!!
--
Wong Jui Meng
braydenwong@fastmail.us
From: Liu Weixian grayfountain@yahoo.com.sg
To: xiaxue@gmail.com
Date: Jun 19, 2005 3:06 PM
Subject: Good Advice
What the Hell is wrong with you?
Why kick up such a big fuss over SPG's blog? It's her blog and it's her goddamn prerogative to write what she wants. And if she posted nude pictures of herself, I say, good for her and better for the guys. Why the stupid comments about her in the New Paper?
If SPG can write so much better than you, there is certainly no need to be jealous. I look at your writing and think it's pretty substandard and a load of crap. Your entries are incoherent and people may think that Singaporeans can't write in proper English when they read your blog. Personally I don't know what are you trying to get at. You shouldn't get upset about the truth my dear.
Anyway, SPG looks prettier than you. I see no wrong why she can't flaunt what she's got. Maybe you should do the same. But then again, maybe not. You got nothing to show off anyway. Don't understand simple English? Take a piss, look into it, and you should get my point.
And lastly, DO NOT presume that the average Singaporean cannot understand what SPG writes in her blog. Many of us are highly educated and your presumptions are most insulting. If you cannot understand her 'chim' English, it could be that you are just stupid.
Lastly, I would advise you to shut up if you have nothing intelligent to say. Your New Paper columns are a waste of ink and space.
Regards,
Mr. Liu
These two are the more coherent of the many. I have so much to argue, to reply, to defend myself, but I have no energy to do that anymore. I feel so misunderstood, I didn't even do what they claimed I did, but why should I bother? People just love hating me.
I was never jealous of her nor have I ever said my writing is better than hers.
Why are people telling me things like, "More people used to love you than hate you now most people just hate you - close down your blog" or "Your friends are all talking bad behind your back" or saying how ugly and stupid I am. Wo ye shi ma ma sheng de, you all like that say me, my mom will be very upset you know? At least think of her feelings can.
You ask me why my entries are no longer funny. Because everytime I write, I hear these voices telling me all these hurtful and malicious words, and these "readers" sneering at me, saying things like "writing like this can be Singapore's best blog ah, siao!"... The elite writers like Nick Liu and Reminisce laughing at my simple English...
I cannot take it anymore. I've developed a phobia for reading my mail, I don't dare to look at the comments links anymore. I don't have to take all these. Please don't fight anymore, please stop saying such mean things, I cannot take it anymore. I am breaking down into a million pieces.
Please. Read The Full Article
Shuyin and I have a question:
We have a very sincere question to ask...
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It concerns our friendship as I say it's her and she says it's me ...
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WHO IS UGLIER??!?!?!
Ok fine. I was digging out old old photos and sending them to Shuyin, laughing at how fat she used to be and how pasty my skin was. We found that these two are the most hideous of them all. I look like a placid white ghost and Shuyin just looks siao. In fact, we look so hideous the hunchback fellow just walked past my room and sniggered at me.
I think she looks worse. At least my face is scrunched up and cannot see the horrors within. Shuyin just looks siao.
You cannot wait to make your opinion matter right?!
You can do the poll HERE:
Hey! Before you turn away with the impression that we are ugly (ARE YOU CRAZY? We are both SO HOT), here's how Siao Shuyin looks like now:
Not so siao anymore!
And me!
Nice right! Taken with my friend's SLR, professionally taken photos really have a difference.
Ok, now that you are convinced we are both mei nus and the photos were unavoidable errors even for goddesses like us, you can do the poll, and vote for Siao Shuyin please. Read The Full Article
It suddenly hit me
Note: Read previous entry first
Today I went over to my gramps' place to have dinner with them, and this uncle was staring at me.
It suddenly occurred to me that he might have recognised me from yesterday's edition of Wanbao.
And it also suddenly occurred to be that this is no laughing matter.
What would my relatives think if they saw that article?
I didn't take any nude photos, and I don't deserve the repercussions of that kind of action. I just didn't realise the consequences of being accused of something like that. (I had a fleeting glimpse of how horrible SPG must be feeling now, but at least she asked for it.)
Mommy and I had a quarrel just now as I was the one who called Wanbao up, and I let matters rest after they said they will put up an apology, without asking how big the apology will be.
Mommy said I should have let her handle the matter, and that the size of the apology is far too puny for anybody to fucking read it. She said she'd demand half a page. I should have let her, as I think she can be a lot fiercer.
The apology was around the height of your middle finger. =(
"This kind of thing is very serious you know, girl!" Momo screamed at me. "You are accused of taking nude photos! You have a reputation and a career to think of ok!"
And it hit me like a tsunami, the issue's seriousness.
But there is nothing to be done now...
Poor, poor me. Very innocent one leh, why suddenly pull me into the picture. I never take naked photos, really. It wasn't me. It was her... We're all bloggers but very different ones...
*sobs*
Chloe Cheng
Thank you my readers, for your enlightening. (esp MaG who made this into PDF format for me)
This came fresh from the press yesterday:
Go on, click it. That's Lianhe Wanbao for you.
KNN! Siao ah! My photo got mistaken as SPG's! For those who don't understand Chinese, the caption before my photo states that "19-year-old Chloe has been a popular news item recently because of her nude photos on her blog. She seems perturbed as she wrote on her latest blog entry: 'I am tired and tired of this bunch of boh liao things.'"
HELLO!
What an absolutely stupid mistake to make! Cannot see that my photo and her photo obviously is a different person is it?!!?!!?!?!? Maybe that big flower masked my face. It gets so much attention that people go like, "WHERE IS WENDY'S FACE? I ONLY SEE THE FLOWER!!" Kenny (Sia) says that he thinks my hair is so bad that plants start to grow on it. If so, I take pride that my plant is in-your-face big. *smirks*
ENOUGH NONSENSE!
Let me explain why it is so bad to be labelled as SPG in that article.
Because Wanbao fucking sensationalises!!!!!!! Seriously ah, I sympathetise with SPG. It was horrible how they made her up to be some haughty slut. UNETHICAL REPORTING!
The article is a direct translation of the saucy bits from its original counterpart - the already not-very-unsaucy Newpaper. At least Newpaper's article spans across 4 pages, the entire Pacific ocean, and then some. Wanbao's is one page and very, very inaccurate.
First of all, SPG's name is NOT CHLOE, in which they happily called her Ke Luo Ai for the whole article. HELLO, PEOPLE GOT REAL NAME ONE OK! I highly doubt SPG reads Chinese, if not she'd get so furious, she'd ball up her little fists, march to SPH Wanbao (and going in by the wrong entrance like everyone else and thus wasting 15 minutes to turn back) and demand to speak to the resident Angmoh reporter.
In which she'd find there is none, but is surprised to see Zheng Ge Ping making out with an certain turd-haired (turd-haired is Eekean's words) reporter* to get more news articles of himself. Zheng Ge Ping gets panicky as the photocopier continues to print turd's ass (okok, and his balls too, if you want to be picky), but he has no worries actually; obviously SPG doesn't know who he is.
SPG will then turn away in disgust, not because Turd is old and quite ugly with crazily-rolling eyes, but because Zheng Ge Ping is not quite Angmoh.
She then decides to just let the matter go but gets lost in SPH's multitude of locked glass doors and find herself in the photography room. Ooh, rejoice!
Ahem.
Before I got distracted.
I can't believe, of all things, they chose her line about Aids checks.
I wish they didn't.
On MSN last night:
Participants: Wong, Xiaoyu, Me
Me: Stupid WANBAO! They put my photo on SPG's article can! Now I am her!
Wong and Xiaoyu: Hahahahaahaha!
Me: I send you the article.Minutes later (Xiaoyu inactive):
Wong: Hello Chloe!
Me: -_-
Wong: Yo Chloe Cheng! Wow, it alliterates!!
Me: ...
Wong: Hey Chloe, had your Aids check recently?
Wong: Wahahhaha I tell you, that line is classic.
Me: Shut up now Wong you *******.
Wong: Note how they said "bai zhong ren" (white-species men) instead of "Yang ren" (westerners). They made you sound like you like some white aliens. (Wong really thinks I am Chloe now)
Me: Hmm... Coz Yang ren is all westerners then got include blacks and all what.
Xiaoyu: When you say Yang ren where got people go and think of blacks lah!
Wong: Yeah lor, Blacks is Hei ren!
Me: Hmmm ok.
Wong: You must print this article for me, it is damn funny. I am bringing it to Rotterdam to laugh.
Me:...
Great. Hi, my name is Chloe Cheng.
Anyway, isn't it sad that information gets so twisted? For example, when SPG said that bit about Aids checks, I don't think she volunteered that information herself but was asked. If it went like this:
Reporter: When you have sex with your boyfriends, aren't you afraid of STDs?
SPG: I always have protected sex. But as an extra step, I do go for checks sometimes.
Reporters: What checks and how often?
SPG: Just routine body checks! I think girls with an active sex life should always do checks, for even with the nicest boyfriend you'd never know what he might be doing outside? I go for Aids checks, around maybe once every 6 months or so.
It is really ok, isn't it?
But if the article just prints:
"SPG only screws white men, and has Aids Checks every 6 months." --- It is just so very different isn't it? But yet, it is factual. I don't know la. I think one must just be very careful when sprouting such statements. (I should learn too, always kena damn bad!!!)
I suppose you could even request the quote gets published in its entirety, or not give such info at all.
Like in my article for instance.
I was quoted:
"I must say I couldn't read beyond a few entries because her blog bores me.
"Sometimes, she writes in very cheem language. For the average reader, you just want to get the idea or joke, laugh, and move on."
If you know me, you'll know I'd never have have said that. For one, I don't speak in such short sentences coz I am very long-winded, haha.
Anyway, to explain a little clearer what I meant, since so many people were offended by that stupid quote...
When asked why I do not think SPG's fame will last long, I said the only logical answer: Why is she famous only now and not before? Because of the nude shots. And therefore, when nude shots are gone, fame will be gone too.
Her musings, though sexual in nature and also supposedly good writing (haven't read much, but from what I heard), is too much for the average internet reader. Correct me if I am wrong, but from my net-writing class I learnt that people's attention span on the internet is far shorter than in real life. You only skim through articles to see whether it is worth your while staying on that site. Too many words? Click!
And because SPG's writings are a little too cheem for the masses, her readership never peaked during the times when she was only writing.
As for my own style, when the reporter asked me, Yes indeed, it happens to be an easy read, which is why my blog has so many readers. I don't write like that to attract readers - I happen to write like that coz it's my style.
In other words, I am praising her works and saying internet readers (including myself) are too impatient.
Geddit? Stupid people. If you think I am insulting her readers, you are vastly mistaken. I am actually praising you. Good for you lah, you are a cut above the rest!
And stop saying I am jealous of SPG lah. Very sian of that. We are so different, why compare? You are like asking Andy Lau whether he is threatened by Charlotte Church being popular. Wtf, of course not lah! Her popularity is not mutually exclusive to mine, and besides, what is with this blog popularity shit?
And contrary to public opinion, I don't dislike her. I am quite indifferent to SPG actually, just like how she is indifferent to me as well. I don't think she is a slut, because I think "slut" is just a word thrown around by guys who cannot get to fuck her.
"Slut", by definition, means the woman will fuck everybody right? So unless you manage to get her to fuck you, you have no rights to say she is a slut, loser!
And I have never stood on high moralistic grounds and judged her. WTF? (Utterly nonsensical article I shall not even start to rebutt. Breast-envy? I am supposed to be secretly envious of those tits? If I show you mine Chris, I'm just afraid you'll never find any other breasts beautiful again, and the damage might be permanent. =D)
I don't know why SPG agreed to publish her face shots though, wouldn't it affect her relationship with her parents even more?
Speaking of judging people and their parents, here's an interesting tidbit I once read:
Question 1:
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?
Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.
Question 2:
It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three candidates.
Candidate A.
Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologist. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.
Candidate B.
He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.
Candidate C
He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife. Which of these candidates would be your choice? Decide first... no peeking, then scroll down for the response.
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Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.
And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question: If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven.
Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think before judging someone.
Never be afraid to try something new.
Remember: Amateurs...built the ark.
Professionals...built the Titanic
Ok enough about the SPG issue. I also very sian by it already. BUT STUPID WANBAO!!! Urgggh!
Stop the Chloe jokes.
*Absolutely ficticious Read The Full Article
:(
I've gotten the fever bug. Really wanted to blog (Wanyi and Eekean's 21st's birthday, both on the 21st of June - Happy bdae!!! - with many photos) but I guess it'll have to be tomorrow.
Throbbing headache.
Said a thousand-legged worm, as he gave a little squirm, have u seen a little leg of mine?
If it can't be found, I shall have to hop around, on my nine hundred and ninty-nine!
HOP AROUND, HOP AROUND! Have u seen a little leg of mine? If it can't be found, I shall have to hop around, on my nine hundred and ninty-nine!!
I think I am blabbering nonsense and I should stop, but I kinda like the style.
Like, huh?
I am quite annoyed. Recently, every single male (or, sigh, female) blogger or blogder in the Asian blogosphere has been talking about a set of tits being flashed.
Not a very impressive set of tits, I might say.
Big fat hairy deal. How much talent does it take to grow an average set of tits? About zero. How much talent does it take to flash it online? A certain amount of recklessness, and perhaps some stupidity, I'd say.
I cannot imagine if my boss were to have seen my boobies before. I mean, what kind of image does it conjure of me to him, or even worse, her? (Pics of her face is not tough to find)
That is not my point. The blogger that this set of tits grew on has never been shy with her sexuality, and I suppose there is all the typical "I am just true to myself and proud of my body" shit, which is what made her quite famous today, in the blogosphere anyway. That, and supposedly good writing (to be fair I never did read it), and a courage to be labelled as a term which most sneer at.
I still have not reached my point. MY POINT IS, WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL ABOUT HER BREASTS, HER BODY, AND HER?!!!
I've been quiet till now, and I cannot stand it anymore. The men all around me and all moaning about how hot she is, and her wonderful her body is. Machiam Jolin season all over again.
I don't want to sound mean, but in fact I see nothing wonderful about it. Average, so very average. If it were a random porn picture I saw at a porn website, I think nobody would even look at it twice. Just because it belonged to a blogger some have known for some time, people start to say things like, "Wah, not bad ah her body?"... Like why? Why do you say it like you expected it to be bad, or like it's totally so awesome, you can never have imagined?
I told T, (one of those many deluded men who thinks her bod is good) "Huh, don't you think her neh neh look very funny?"
T continued slurping his claypot beancurd and raised an eyebrow in question.
I sighed, and took out a piece of paper. This is what I drew:
I told T her nipples are far too long and pointing upwards, and yes, we've always heard the phrase "fuller breasts", but for the first time I understood how it is like to have a non-full boob. The tits look like they have been pinched shorter (in height) and then pulled upwards.
T had a look at my drawing, laughed, and while spitting sauteed eggs everywhere, took over the pen.
"That is good!" (*gasp - haven't that man seen standard breasts?!*) he mumbled enthusiastically. "That means they are perky! At least better than ..."
He drew:
And he laughed and laughed.
URGGGH! THE MONSTROSITY! So gross, papaya tits. And T continued to guffaw to himself quite madly.
I was disgusted at his lack of taste.
Today, at the Bloggercon meeting at James Seng's place, I asked everyone around if they thought her tits were weird.
Nobody said anything, and some said they think her tits are fine, and blah blah blah there goes another bout of "her bod is so hot blah blah blah" (ok to be fair the guys didn't really praise her but I can see it in their passionate eyes).
I DON'T GET IT. MEN! As long as it is a tit, they think it is hot. Oooh I am so horny, I see a titty! I wanna touch the titty! Girl is therefore hot!
WHERE IS THEIR INTEGRITY?!
WHERE IS THEIR SENSE OF AESTHETICS?!
WHERE IS THE LOVE, HONOUR AND GLORY?!
Because I had enough, I'd show u, with expert photoshop, what a standard set of boobs should look like.
Of course, the one that resembles my drawing is the 'before'.
WARNING: R21 CONTENT. Fuck la, you will proceed anyway.
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Tadah!
You see? So much better right? Wahahhaha... the picture makes me want to mould her boobs for her.
p/s: To the blogger in question: I know there is no-point telling you not to take offence, and I know it is not ur fault that the men think you are hot (oh wait u did publish the pics), but do try to understand it was never against you but against ugly tits. Or maybe it's a bad angle or Bad Boob Day? Was never personal. At least I kept you anonymous. =)
So anyways, back to less angst-filled topics.
It's a happy, happy day!
Look what came in the mail!
It is better than a lousy orgasm! (Nothing fights a good O, nothing.)
It is even better than my favourite ice-cream (macadamia nut).
Would kill a cute dog for it...
More atas than Vertus!!
It's.....
Heh heh heh...
MUAHAHAHA!!
EVERYONE!~ TOGETHER! LET'S CLAP! Welcome, Wendy, to the atas world! You are now one of us and will be rewarded with free entry, everytime!, to the 3rd best club in the world!
(Ok ok, I know it might not be that big a deal to some of you stupid people who already have the card or *ahem* can just walk into Zouk like that bringing a flurry of people, but still! Remember my background: I don't have a filthy rich lao peh, nor smothering good looks! I worked hard to earn what I have today!)
Ok fine. I didn't work hard to earn that card at all. I totally didn't. Huifen knows Aldrin (resident DJ and he is like super cute lah, with hair that curls at the back. I like!!) so when she was talking to him, I told Aldrin, "Hey, I'm famous, gimme a card leh!" while grinning away - of course expecting him to say no.
Aldrin smiled and said politely, "Is it?" and after some talking he took down my details AND NOW I HAVE A ZOUK CARD I HAVE A ZOUK CARD I HAVE A ZOUK CARD ITS GREEN YOU'RE GREEN I'M GREEN ALL GREEN MUAHAHAHA ZOUK CARD!
Moral of the story? I totally abide by this theory: IN LIFE, IF YOU DON'T ASK, YOU DON'T GET.
Always remember!
Anyway, sing-a-long-ding-dong! I am so happy! I also bought my new camera! It's a pretty Sony Cybershot L1 in red!
4.1mp, and this is an important day! It marks the day where you will no longer see disgusting, sub-standard photos on xiaxue.blogspot.com!!!!!
Please pardon me! I am going crazy with the camera, and I MUST PHOTOWHORE!!
Deluge of photos coming up...
Click!
Lookie how pretty my hair looks! I am so happy happy happy!
Eileen looking very pretty hor? =) We took this while we were at Chay Yan Street, and the dilapidated buildings like very apt for those act model shots.
Sigh. How I love aesthetics.
p/s: Thanks to everyone who did my poll. Love ya all. =) Read The Full Article
