How to nab a CLK driver

Who doesn't like convertibles? WHO?! NOBODY! What's there not to like? Ok, there is the fact that the rain might get on your head, or bird shit... And then it IS a wee bit more dangerous, but these are things we don't pick on. Let's face it, every girl is materialistic. Even to a small small extent.

Putting your dainty foot out of the car, telling the world an eligible man drives you, simply shiok!

If I give you a choice, between two guys... They are both the same person, except one is rich, and the other poor, who'd you choose? Same looks, same character, OF COURSE THE RICH ONE RIGHT? Tsk tsk... Materialistic, vain, superficial... WORDS! Just words people throw at me! Losers throw me these words, coz they know they cannot get an absolutely perfect girl like me! *tosses hair in a thoroughly irritating manner*

Because it rules to be materialistic, I shall teach every girl to nab their own CLK driver!

You can change CLK to Ferrari, or even a Bentley, of course. My method works, EVERYTIME.















Disclaimer: Spelling error on 2nd picture, I know. Accident. And this entry is supposed to be a joke... Of course I am not materialistic. Didn't I always say I love lumberjacks and fishermen? Kelvin is not my boyfriend, he is Ann's!



If you know her you can go ask her how to nab a CLK driver, haha!! I know I look very extra in the photo (Shuyin say I look like ah gua) but Kel forced me to be inside.

The CLK photos were taken at my estate after Kel drove me (and Shuyin, thon-ing my place again) home after Mambo, in a spurt of boh liao-ness! Funny not?

Credits: Kelvin for being sporting enough to do this stupid blog entry for me, and of course for driving me home... Shuyin for taking photos and also giving ideas for captions and design. Ann for lending me her boyfriend and waiting so patiently!

Today I met June and Clara for a super belated birthday celebration for June!! I miss that siao charboh so much, she finally came back from Perth for Summer hols!

Yay!! =)

Photos!!

Clara covering her face coz the meanie June say she fat!



I hate skinny people like June.

Finally getting the my buncha poly friends together! See, we took this Neoprint in year 2002:



Straight hair! No editing!

And we decided (ok fine, I decided) to retake the photo and see how much each of us grew:



FAIL! NEXT!



Better! Show you the process!



Conclusion is that everyone are still da mei nus! We were xiao mei nus now we are DA MEI NUs!! Yay!

We proceed to Mambo!



June loves all the bengs. See how happy she is?



Shuyin lagi happier, coz got one ah pek squeeze her ass and she secretly likes it.





Hen mei!! (My photoshop skills damn good also lah... heehee...)

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As the bulk of you already know, yeah la, that overexposed (who am I to say people hahaha) Kenny Sia is in town!

As a matter of fact, I am such a lazy and untimely blogger that as I write this, people's red-boxered ass is already back in Kuching.

Who cares? As I told Kenny, he is a chao buaya and he doesn't need me to write about him coz all the other girls are doing that.

Actually, I am quite annoyed. As you all know, I've never been very active in the erm, supposed 'blogging community'.

I've been blogging since I was 18 (thats 3 years ago), when mrbrown was still known for his SNEs and Mr Miyagi was nowhere famous yet.

I've always acknowledged the presence of other bloggers but to me, they are but just strangers who got famous doing the same thing as me. You can say I think they are people who seem very far away from me and my life; I wouldn't think of, say, meeting up with them and being friends forevermore.

I understand that Brown and Ben were classmates in ACS, so it is only right they are so close now. But I don't see why, just because of a common habit, the other bloggers all band together to have gatherings, kiss each other, and become sudden steadfast friends leh?

I mean, if I do happen to meet some blogger and I think we get along very well, then yes, I'd be friends with the person, but it is most certainly not because we both blog!

I told Kenny this, and he said at least, to make friends, you have a common liking for something (which is, yawn, blogging). Huh? Excuse me, I don't think that makes sense. HOW MANY THOUSAND PEOPLE BLOG? Why must you only make friends with the fellow semi-famous bloggers? Why not make friends with the 14-yr-old pimply teen who blogs too, just coz she bLoGzXs?

And back to what I am annoyed at.

I've always been blogging, MYSELF, AS AN INDIVIDUAL, and suddenly, I found myself to be part of a 'blogging community' just because I am a blogger (and a well-known one at that)!

I met Kenny because we have been talking on MSN, we get along fine, and I do want to see how he looks like in real life, but on so many blogs I am labelled as "one of the females bloggers who were swamping over Kenny".

I DO NOT APPRECIATE THAT!

Even worse, poor Shuyin and Wanyi are labelled as Xiaxue's gang too, when they were only nice enough to accompany me on the trip to Hideout. (I only went there coz Kenny was there, not because I trying very hard to join that "community")

I had laughter spasms as Ting introduced Shuyin as Lalalabom. WAHAHHAHHA OR IS IT POM? MACHIAM IRC GATHERING AH! (Nothing against Ting, she did the correct thing at that moment because the bloggers were all introduced by their blog names)

As I stepped into that place, I realised that everyone there were bloggers (except this drunk chao ah neh who struck his face damn close to mine to ask me to take a photo with him). And then there were scandals involving blogger-blogger relationships, and who don't like who and so on.

Well, well, surprise surprise! Some of the girls there don't like me! Mind you, they don't even know me, just a conclusion they have from my blog. I don't care - they weren't in my life, they wouldn't be now, and I don't even read their blogs! Their opinions of me don't matter jackshit to me.

Hiyah I don't know lah. I wouldn't want other bloggers to ostrasize me or anything; I am just blogging out my views on this matter. They, of course, have a right to make new friends with each other. It just slightly puzzles me.

For example, I can make friends in my pottery classes (not me, I don't take those! But Wong does!), because we can both now make fat pots together right? (Even so, it seems loserish to be like so desperate to make friends.)

[ps: Wong says pottery is not loserish, and she bets I cannot make pots as lovely as hers, and also that I wrote this paragraph coz I am obviously not happy over her duaing me today, and also that I am just jealous she never make any pots for me]

But blogging! Blogging is so diversified (meaning if we both blog it doesn't mean we have common interests: A politics blogger is as different as you can get from a sex blogger), and most importantly, BLOGGING IS A SOLITARY ACTIVITY! So it is quite pointless to make friends with other bloggers, just because they blog! I mean, then how, take photo of each other, take out laptop, and then blog together??!

I know some people are gonna say I am contradicting myself because I am friends with Kenny, and of course my fellow editors of Tomorrow. Let me make myself clear: I am friends with them because I get along with these people, not because they are bloggers! Yes, we got to know each other through blogging, but whether or not I remain friends with them is not blogging related.

(If you claim that other bloggers might also be stating that reason, then explain how it is possible for a group of ten odd people who HAPPEN TO LIKE EACH OTHER to ALL BLOG and also ALL HAVE RELATIVELY WELL-KNOWN, BUT NOT QUITE, BLOGS.)

Right, enough of that topic. Please stop labelling me as one of them Singapore's female bloggers. I am Wendy Cheng Yan Yan Xiaxue da mei nu and I'd rather be an individual by myself. *smiles*

Alrighty! People who don't know the blogosphere well (thats me!) wouldn't have any idea what I am talking about at all. So back to photos! =)



Wooh scary! Remember to buy next month's Maxim! We went to a ghost tour and took photos!

This is just one of the many pictures... I was sitting on this bathtub, and I didn't realise the walls were like that until I uploaded the photo. Almost jumped out of my beautiful tanned skin!


MY NEW BOYFRIEND!! His head is a bit big though, but I still love him.

Guess what movie Shuyin and I watched! It was good! Jay's so cute... Except for the long part where he started crying in the car. It was damn fake acting can?! I kept laughing.



Wah lau this one damn buay paiseh one, go and stick her face at Jay's face. -_- Pui! And somemore dare to look so zhan zhan zi xi.


My lovely colourful bangles!!


Great Singapore SALE!! We bought so many things, including my lipstick in this scary photo! It is a deep red colour. I love it!



What's your favourite fruit in the world? MANGO! With a sale! I bought this pair of jeans (left) which I originally wanted to buy at like, $79 but didn't. IN THE END ONLY $36!! How cool is that?!



Tank tops from Fox, $12 each!



Us at NYDC


me...


And my other boyfriend... =)

Shuyin stayed over at my place after that... We met Wanyi after going to a metro warehouse sale.

On our way to Hideout!


You there, you! You who are quizzically asking why I put up such a blur shot! I did it because only absurdly cool cameras can do that! Isn't it amazing how, ahem, there is art in everything? (Quote from Kenny, defending his blur shot of a solitary Singaporean Teh Peng when I tried to delete it)

Sometimes, I also think we take for granted very Singaporean things. What if one day our MRTS are all abolished? Wouldn't we miss the stupid No Eating sign? (As seen in the photo)

What if one day the blind busker at the Orchard underpass passes away? *touch wood* Who defines Orchard road anymore? He has always been there since Orchard Road was known to me when I was a teen.

I think the underpass would be so lonely and quiet and horrible without his singing (not that his singing is very nice la actually). I wouldn't give money to the basker taking over his place (though I never gave money to him also la).

And yes, Wanyi taking a photo of me on the MRT as I take a photo of her.

We reach Hideout and...



Bloggers galore~! My boys! Gimme more boys, now!!



Legs more famous, but arms also very hairy. KNN! OH MY GOD! What happened? Why are my arms hairy now also! Stupid Kenny infected me!

Shit, I've got very lame Kenny jokes! You wanna listen? Ok you don't have a choice:

What do you call a person who really, really looks like Kenny?

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UNKENNY!!

Who killed Kenny? NOT CARTMAN! It is Kilkenny! Okok super lame. I got a lot of Jack jokes also, you wanna hear?


What is Jack's favourite fruit?
What's Jack's favourite exercise?
Where is Jack? (3 answers)
Gasp, WHAT IS JACK DOING?!
What's Jack's favourite toy?
What is Jack's occupation?
What is Jack's favourite game at the casino?
What is Jack called when he is being anal?
What's Jack's pet called?

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Ok answers!

Jackfruit
Jumping Jacks
At the bottom of the hill, in a box, on the beanstalk
Jacking off
Jack in the box
Lumberjack
Blackjack
Jackass
Jackrabbit

FUNNY BOH! All original ok! You just keep springing these questions to any of your friends called Jack and they confirm will go crazy!



The star of the night. Which is me! Coz I am a xing xing! *Shines with all my might*



Shine! (One hugeass photo)


I am a star and only stars can get Kenny Sia (!) to massage their feet for them! (*Just kidding, he was checking for feet ulcurs for me, and removing some corn.)

The more observant blogders will also realise that my Marine Parade pedicure, which is super long ago, is still there, fine! HOW AMAZING IS THAT?

Please go do your pedicure there now, it is ridiculous how long the polish lasts.


Zhang Shuyin's jacket (omg jack-et! Another jack joke!) nice or not! It is mine! But I look horrible in it somehow. Sigh, we so pretty...


Kenny doesn't like Wanyi... Don't tell Wanyi, but Kenny say she a bit smelly. SHEESH! I tell you don't tell Wanyi already hor!


He say Shuyin smells ok, but he doesn't know it is because I bathed her that previous night she stayed over. She refused to bathe then she smelly until Cloudy fainted. I stepped on him coz I thought Momo bought a new high-class carpet, then he squealed and woke up, to promptly faint again as Shuyin's pungent odour filled his black nostrils.

Wait... Is it just me, or did Kenny put blusher?



What is this man trying to do?











WAH! Got one siao extra spoil the moment!!!! (She was lying down when the other photo was taken, then she suddenly sit up)

Never mind, can photoshop her away.




Does he love me or what? *blushes* I think I see true love...

Read The Full Article

Now now, where is that darned photo?!


There it is:





I am feeling better now. All the hatemails in the world cannot get me down, because all 250 of you sent me such encouraging emails. I'm sorry if I didn't reply some, but rest assured I read it, and I appreciate them all. Some even made me cry some more, which is kinda not good lah, eyes very puffy already... =)

How could I have forgotten? It is true it is the people who matter to me that I should care about. Shuyin, Wanyi and so many of my friends standing up for me is just worth more than anything else in the world.

Not to mention that a special person also gave me a hug today. :D

Who cares about the detractors? They all have sand in their vaginas so they are all so grumpy. Adds to my readership anyway.

They don't love me never mind. My grandparents love me... Very very much!


See, ye ye is so happy I came to visit him!

The way to a guy's heart is through his parents, Turodrique says. If they approve of you, you've won half the battle. Therefore, I SHALL CHANGE IMAGE!

I bought EMO glasses! I shall wear them although I have perfect eyesight!

My grandma tries them on...



She is so cute right... Hahaha



And no make up! How? Look very decent right? Except for the blonde curls lah hor, look like a slut.

Sigh...

I am a very lucky girl indeed to have you all.

More blogging soon. =)

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Thank you to all my readers, to Shuyin, Wanyi and Wong and Peter and of coz Mommy and everyone who has stood up for me for this terrible ordeal.

Thank you for your kind words and your fighting for the unfairness and injustice done to me.

Even as I write about how terribly my reputation has been tarnished, about how helpless I feel I can hear hate mail ringing in my ears. Imaginary ones that are actually not happening.

I can hear people saying that I deserve this to happen to me because I wrote mean things about SPG first. That I deserve this downfall, that I deserve it coz fame has gotten to my head.

I have never thought of hurting anyone. I only blog out my thoughts. I know they are sometimes mean, but I am just saying my true feelings. I know readers like me to maintain my honesty even though I am so mainstream now, so I try my best to. I really do you know. You people only know how criticise me, to scold me, to say my blog entries are not up to par anymore, and how I am losing my touch, not funny anymore, but do you see the struggle behind everything?

How difficult it is for me to maintain honesty on this very public domain where people are always picking on me, and constantly on the prowl for my weaknesses to attack me?

I can tell you, if I were a less famous blogger, if I had written the exact same entry on SPG it would be funny instead of whatever words you all used to describe it. I wrote it because I know 3 years ago I would have written the same thing, and I wanted to maintain my old style.

Nobody has told me I deserve this deluge of media framing, but I just hear these voices in my head going on and on you know? I cannot stop crying from the helplessness and I think I am just going crazy.

People say such means things you know? You have no idea, you who send me hate mails, how difficult it is to live on when so many people ask you to die. What did I do wrong? Just by saying a pair of tits are not pretty?

Just to show u some:

It irks me, and I daresay half the male population in Singapore, to have
to tell you that you are a nasty bitch for attacking the lady known as
sarongpartygirl.

We may not agree with her philosophy in life, but at least she's honest, and upfront with her views. Plus she does not stoop so low as to deface somebody else's photo, nude or clothed.

You have demeaned yourself, and all Singapore females, for being a foul mouthed and petty toad to be so obviously jealous of someone else stepping into the limelight, whether intended or not. Yes, you claimed no such green eyes, but this time Photoshop will not help you. The words are all there, on your own blog and in the local media, even though you may be blind to the fact because of your pathetic
understanding of the English language. This is where sarongpartygirl shines. She writes, you scribble. And, despite your sick doodling, she has a nice bod, something you'll never understand. Grow up will ya, guys will always prefer real women rather than little girls in pink frocks and heavy make-up (with or without help of Photoshop).

Bleah!!!
--
Wong Jui Meng
braydenwong@fastmail.us


From: Liu Weixian grayfountain@yahoo.com.sg
To: xiaxue@gmail.com
Date: Jun 19, 2005 3:06 PM
Subject: Good Advice

What the Hell is wrong with you?

Why kick up such a big fuss over SPG's blog? It's her blog and it's her goddamn prerogative to write what she wants. And if she posted nude pictures of herself, I say, good for her and better for the guys. Why the stupid comments about her in the New Paper?

If SPG can write so much better than you, there is certainly no need to be jealous. I look at your writing and think it's pretty substandard and a load of crap. Your entries are incoherent and people may think that Singaporeans can't write in proper English when they read your blog. Personally I don't know what are you trying to get at. You shouldn't get upset about the truth my dear.

Anyway, SPG looks prettier than you. I see no wrong why she can't flaunt what she's got. Maybe you should do the same. But then again, maybe not. You got nothing to show off anyway. Don't understand simple English? Take a piss, look into it, and you should get my point.

And lastly, DO NOT presume that the average Singaporean cannot understand what SPG writes in her blog. Many of us are highly educated and your presumptions are most insulting. If you cannot understand her 'chim' English, it could be that you are just stupid.

Lastly, I would advise you to shut up if you have nothing intelligent to say. Your New Paper columns are a waste of ink and space.

Regards,
Mr. Liu

These two are the more coherent of the many. I have so much to argue, to reply, to defend myself, but I have no energy to do that anymore. I feel so misunderstood, I didn't even do what they claimed I did, but why should I bother? People just love hating me.

I was never jealous of her nor have I ever said my writing is better than hers.


Why are people telling me things like, "More people used to love you than hate you now most people just hate you - close down your blog" or "Your friends are all talking bad behind your back" or saying how ugly and stupid I am. Wo ye shi ma ma sheng de, you all like that say me, my mom will be very upset you know? At least think of her feelings can.

You ask me why my entries are no longer funny. Because everytime I write, I hear these voices telling me all these hurtful and malicious words, and these "readers" sneering at me, saying things like "writing like this can be Singapore's best blog ah, siao!"... The elite writers like Nick Liu and Reminisce laughing at my simple English...

I cannot take it anymore. I've developed a phobia for reading my mail, I don't dare to look at the comments links anymore. I don't have to take all these. Please don't fight anymore, please stop saying such mean things, I cannot take it anymore. I am breaking down into a million pieces.

Please.

Read The Full Article

Shuyin and I have a question:

We have a very sincere question to ask...
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It concerns our friendship as I say it's her and she says it's me ...

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WHO IS UGLIER??!?!?!






Ok fine. I was digging out old old photos and sending them to Shuyin, laughing at how fat she used to be and how pasty my skin was. We found that these two are the most hideous of them all. I look like a placid white ghost and Shuyin just looks siao. In fact, we look so hideous the hunchback fellow just walked past my room and sniggered at me.

I think she looks worse. At least my face is scrunched up and cannot see the horrors within. Shuyin just looks siao.

You cannot wait to make your opinion matter right?!

You can do the poll HERE:



Hey! Before you turn away with the impression that we are ugly (ARE YOU CRAZY? We are both SO HOT), here's how Siao Shuyin looks like now:


Not so siao anymore!

And me!



Nice right! Taken with my friend's SLR, professionally taken photos really have a difference.

Ok, now that you are convinced we are both mei nus and the photos were unavoidable errors even for goddesses like us, you can do the poll, and vote for Siao Shuyin please.

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It suddenly hit me

Note: Read previous entry first

Today I went over to my gramps' place to have dinner with them, and this uncle was staring at me.

It suddenly occurred to me that he might have recognised me from yesterday's edition of Wanbao.

And it also suddenly occurred to be that this is no laughing matter.

What would my relatives think if they saw that article?

I didn't take any nude photos, and I don't deserve the repercussions of that kind of action. I just didn't realise the consequences of being accused of something like that. (I had a fleeting glimpse of how horrible SPG must be feeling now, but at least she asked for it.)

Mommy and I had a quarrel just now as I was the one who called Wanbao up, and I let matters rest after they said they will put up an apology, without asking how big the apology will be.

Mommy said I should have let her handle the matter, and that the size of the apology is far too puny for anybody to fucking read it. She said she'd demand half a page. I should have let her, as I think she can be a lot fiercer.

The apology was around the height of your middle finger. =(

"This kind of thing is very serious you know, girl!" Momo screamed at me. "You are accused of taking nude photos! You have a reputation and a career to think of ok!"

And it hit me like a tsunami, the issue's seriousness.

But there is nothing to be done now...

Poor, poor me. Very innocent one leh, why suddenly pull me into the picture. I never take naked photos, really. It wasn't me. It was her... We're all bloggers but very different ones...

*sobs*

Read The Full Article

Chloe Cheng

Thank you my readers, for your enlightening. (esp MaG who made this into PDF format for me)

This came fresh from the press yesterday:



Go on, click it. That's Lianhe Wanbao for you.

KNN! Siao ah! My photo got mistaken as SPG's! For those who don't understand Chinese, the caption before my photo states that "19-year-old Chloe has been a popular news item recently because of her nude photos on her blog. She seems perturbed as she wrote on her latest blog entry: 'I am tired and tired of this bunch of boh liao things.'"

HELLO!


What an absolutely stupid mistake to make! Cannot see that my photo and her photo obviously is a different person is it?!!?!!?!?!? Maybe that big flower masked my face. It gets so much attention that people go like, "WHERE IS WENDY'S FACE? I ONLY SEE THE FLOWER!!" Kenny (Sia) says that he thinks my hair is so bad that plants start to grow on it. If so, I take pride that my plant is in-your-face big. *smirks*

ENOUGH NONSENSE!

Let me explain why it is so bad to be labelled as SPG in that article.

Because Wanbao fucking sensationalises!!!!!!! Seriously ah, I sympathetise with SPG. It was horrible how they made her up to be some haughty slut. UNETHICAL REPORTING!

The article is a direct translation of the saucy bits from its original counterpart - the already not-very-unsaucy Newpaper. At least Newpaper's article spans across 4 pages, the entire Pacific ocean, and then some. Wanbao's is one page and very, very inaccurate.

First of all, SPG's name is NOT CHLOE, in which they happily called her Ke Luo Ai for the whole article. HELLO, PEOPLE GOT REAL NAME ONE OK! I highly doubt SPG reads Chinese, if not she'd get so furious, she'd ball up her little fists, march to SPH Wanbao (and going in by the wrong entrance like everyone else and thus wasting 15 minutes to turn back) and demand to speak to the resident Angmoh reporter.

In which she'd find there is none, but is surprised to see Zheng Ge Ping making out with an certain turd-haired (turd-haired is Eekean's words) reporter* to get more news articles of himself. Zheng Ge Ping gets panicky as the photocopier continues to print turd's ass (okok, and his balls too, if you want to be picky), but he has no worries actually; obviously SPG doesn't know who he is.

SPG will then turn away in disgust, not because Turd is old and quite ugly with crazily-rolling eyes, but because Zheng Ge Ping is not quite Angmoh.

She then decides to just let the matter go but gets lost in SPH's multitude of locked glass doors and find herself in the photography room. Ooh, rejoice!

Ahem.

Before I got distracted.

I can't believe, of all things, they chose her line about Aids checks.

I wish they didn't.

On MSN last night:
Participants: Wong, Xiaoyu, Me

Me: Stupid WANBAO! They put my photo on SPG's article can! Now I am her!

Wong and Xiaoyu: Hahahahaahaha!

Me: I send you the article.

Minutes later (Xiaoyu inactive):

Wong: Hello Chloe!

Me: -_-

Wong: Yo Chloe Cheng! Wow, it alliterates!!

Me: ...

Wong: Hey Chloe, had your Aids check recently?

Wong: Wahahhaha I tell you, that line is classic.

Me: Shut up now Wong you *******.

Wong: Note how they said "bai zhong ren" (white-species men) instead of "Yang ren" (westerners). They made you sound like you like some white aliens. (Wong really thinks I am Chloe now)

Me: Hmm... Coz Yang ren is all westerners then got include blacks and all what.

Xiaoyu: When you say Yang ren where got people go and think of blacks lah!

Wong: Yeah lor, Blacks is Hei ren!

Me: Hmmm ok.

Wong: You must print this article for me, it is damn funny. I am bringing it to Rotterdam to laugh.

Me:...

Great. Hi, my name is Chloe Cheng.

Anyway, isn't it sad that information gets so twisted? For example, when SPG said that bit about Aids checks, I don't think she volunteered that information herself but was asked. If it went like this:

Reporter: When you have sex with your boyfriends, aren't you afraid of STDs?

SPG: I always have protected sex. But as an extra step, I do go for checks sometimes.

Reporters: What checks and how often?

SPG: Just routine body checks! I think girls with an active sex life should always do checks, for even with the nicest boyfriend you'd never know what he might be doing outside? I go for Aids checks, around maybe once every 6 months or so.

It is really ok, isn't it?

But if the article just prints:

"SPG only screws white men, and has Aids Checks every 6 months." --- It is just so very different isn't it? But yet, it is factual. I don't know la. I think one must just be very careful when sprouting such statements. (I should learn too, always kena damn bad!!!)

I suppose you could even request the quote gets published in its entirety, or not give such info at all.


Like in my article for instance.

I was quoted:

"I must say I couldn't read beyond a few entries because her blog bores me.

"Sometimes, she writes in very cheem language. For the average reader, you just want to get the idea or joke, laugh, and move on."

If you know me, you'll know I'd never have have said that. For one, I don't speak in such short sentences coz I am very long-winded, haha.

Anyway, to explain a little clearer what I meant, since so many people were offended by that stupid quote...

When asked why I do not think SPG's fame will last long, I said the only logical answer: Why is she famous only now and not before? Because of the nude shots. And therefore, when nude shots are gone, fame will be gone too.

Her musings, though sexual in nature and also supposedly good writing (haven't read much, but from what I heard), is too much for the average internet reader. Correct me if I am wrong, but from my net-writing class I learnt that people's attention span on the internet is far shorter than in real life. You only skim through articles to see whether it is worth your while staying on that site. Too many words? Click!

And because SPG's writings are a little too cheem for the masses, her readership never peaked during the times when she was only writing.

As for my own style, when the reporter asked me, Yes indeed, it happens to be an easy read, which is why my blog has so many readers. I don't write like that to attract readers - I happen to write like that coz it's my style.

In other words, I am praising her works and saying internet readers (including myself) are too impatient.

Geddit? Stupid people. If you think I am insulting her readers, you are vastly mistaken. I am actually praising you. Good for you lah, you are a cut above the rest!

And stop saying I am jealous of SPG lah. Very sian of that. We are so different, why compare? You are like asking Andy Lau whether he is threatened by Charlotte Church being popular. Wtf, of course not lah! Her popularity is not mutually exclusive to mine, and besides, what is with this blog popularity shit?

And contrary to public opinion, I don't dislike her. I am quite indifferent to SPG actually, just like how she is indifferent to me as well. I don't think she is a slut, because I think "slut" is just a word thrown around by guys who cannot get to fuck her.

"Slut", by definition, means the woman will fuck everybody right? So unless you manage to get her to fuck you, you have no rights to say she is a slut, loser!

And I have never stood on high moralistic grounds and judged her. WTF? (Utterly nonsensical article I shall not even start to rebutt. Breast-envy? I am supposed to be secretly envious of those tits? If I show you mine Chris, I'm just afraid you'll never find any other breasts beautiful again, and the damage might be permanent. =D)

I don't know why SPG agreed to publish her face shots though, wouldn't it affect her relationship with her parents even more?

Speaking of judging people and their parents, here's an interesting tidbit I once read:


Question 1:
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?

Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.


Question 2:
It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three candidates.

Candidate A.

Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologist. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.


Candidate B.

He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.


Candidate C
He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife. Which of these candidates would be your choice? Decide first... no peeking, then scroll down for the response.
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Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.

And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question: If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven.

Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think before judging someone.

Never be afraid to try something new.
Remember: Amateurs...built the ark.
Professionals...built the Titanic



Ok enough about the SPG issue. I also very sian by it already. BUT STUPID WANBAO!!! Urgggh!

Stop the Chloe jokes.

*Absolutely ficticious

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