Shuyin is here at my place coz we are leaving for the coach waiting place at Lakeside at 745am! Well since she stays at Whampoa (where the hell is that?!) she might as well thon here and set off with me since lakeside is a damn lot closer to Jurong East than WHAM-freaking-POA!
Wham! Poa! WHAMP! OA!
VERY EXCITED!
She patched things up with Idris, so I expect, since I will be staying in the same room as them, the hotel bed will be a bit shaky at night. I might just video cam them and show you guys, whoopee!
We are going on this trip with another 2 of Idris' campmates, one of which is bringing his girlfriend along. I hope she likes shopping too! =)
The trip is courtesy of Idris' friend called V, whose dad has some major connections to the chain of Crown Prince Hotels, that's why we are having our accommodations free!
*contented smile* And that's why they say, in life, it is not WHAT you know, but WHO you know... I am very glad I am close to Shuyin (who is indebted to me since 1. I just cut her fringe for her and she looks fab 2. I also brought on a sponsored trip to Bintan), whom is loved by Idris, whom Mr Crown Prince is a close friend of despite him (Idris) having a jealousable 19cm schlong.
Tadah!
I am so excited! I am going there to buy cheong branded bags whahaha! And lots of clothes, and espadrilles if any...
I'll take lots of pictures.
Love ya all!
Meanwhile, here's a car Shuyin and I saw outside some hotel:
At first glance it just looks like a normal Porsche.
With handsome red leather upholstery. (Yes I know my reflection, carrying a Forever 21 plastic bag, can be clearly seen but please ignore that)
WE LATER REALISED THAT THE FREAKING CASHCARD HOLDER IS MATCHING CAN?!
Super amazing, I've never seen a more atas cashcash holder! I thought they only came in black, but I'm now convinced money can buy anything. =)
Daddy gave me $360 in ringgit so I am quite rich after I add some money of my own! I deserve the break, because I've been so busy bumming... Awww...
A good day to you sirs and mdms! Off I go! Maybe I go scare Shuyin after she comes out of bathing...
I am going to KL in a few hours!
Since I cannot become Skinny...
I shall just try to make everyone fat instead! =D
Chocolates! That is me buying chocolates for my dates during the second meeting for Class 95's Blind Dates!
Lindt is still my favourite brand for chocolates so far, but they are so expensive! ANYONE FROM LINDT HERE?? CAN GIMME FREE?? I help you advertise you know!!
Sigh, very nice. But hor, I no money, so I bought Calbury chocolate-coated raisins instead, which are very nice too.
In the studio with Dj Yasminne and the two contestants Sam (left) and James (right). Guess who won?
Cruz from 93.3FM, whom I got to know when I was working for Today newspaper, dropped in to visit me from next door! It is very funny to hear English DJs talking to Chinese Djs. Haha!
The listeners voted for Sam and so here we are, at this super posh restaurant in Sheraton Towers Hotel called Domvx (I don't remember the name actually but it is agar like that), having a $500 dinner! (Yes I also noticed Sam stuck out his tongue in both photos. Cannot smile properly meh? 28 liao leh!)
That's me with a good hair day and a little black dress!
Sam bought me expensive chocolates from Royce! =) Thanks, made me damn fat lah!
One of the waiters/(he might just be a manager) helping to oxidise the red wine for our drinking pleasure. He is a little too polite! He bows! I felt like those emperors wanting to say "mian li, mian li" to bowing subordinates.
But still, terrific service. 3 servers to 2 guests!!!
Starter, tuna bread of some sort. WONDERFUL. I gobbled it up. Except the decorative olive.
Sam and I are happier after we ate the tuna thingy. :D
Soup came... Seafood broth.
Don't you think that mussels REALLY LOOK LIKE THE FEMALE GENITALIA?! Even when you open the damn thing (labia) you see something resembling the clitoris and vagina.
I still gobbled it up anyway. The soup is very nice, got lobster, prawn, two mussels, a piece of meat, and scallop inside!
Hungry yet? Here comes the best part of the meal: Appetiter.
FOIE FUCKING GRAS! It is so freaking nice omggggggg I had like five orgasms eating it up. Don't you animal moralists come and gimme that shit about geese being very poor thing coz they are tortured. Who ask them to be born as geese? Who ask them to be delicious? TRY BEING HUMAN NEXT LIFE! If I were a goose I will gorge myself so that people can enjoy my liver. So nice, letting it just function inside me is such a waste.
Did I already say it is very nice? In fact, the foie gras at Domvx (once again, spelling) is actually better than that of St Pierre's.
In case you are wondering, no, I didn't eat the leaves at the side.
Sigh, finishing already... The last bit of liver with some bread...
Sam's appetitizer is beef tenderloin sliced thinly. It was utterly ignored for WHAT IS BEEF WHEN YOU HAVE FOIE GRAS?!
Sam with his tomato-based penne pasta
I don't know about you, but I think it is a crime for pasta to be tomato based. I only like it cream-based. Yucks, tomato! So boring.
But since they didn't have cream-based pasta at Domvx, I ordered softshell crab pasta in tomato.
The pasta is the only part of the meal I am not fully satisfied with. It tasted rather normal and the spaghetti or taggulsifdsflio or whatever the antipasti is called is overcooked. The crabs are not crispy enough, but I think that is because it is not deep fried but grilled.
MAIN COURSE!! I was already exploding...
I had COD FISH! I love cod fish! But I think I am biased coz the only way I like it done is when it is drenched, once again, in cream sauce. In this case it is pesto sauce, which is not bad too, but nothing beats creamy cod fish! NOTHING!
Oh, Ritz Carlton's codfish is fucking nice. Thick like nobody's business. I remember those days when I used to work there as a banquet waitress and we used to steal those fishes, hide them inside our pockets, and eat them! Super nice.
Sam ordered lamb, which is very nice too! It is very tender and tasty.
DESSERT!!!!
Ok I cannot remember what is this Sam had but it is definitely not CHEESE ok? It is some orange thing.
I disapprove of using sour fruits (ie orange/lemon/apple) to make desserts so I didn't touch his and I cannot give a review...
But my warm chocolate cake...
WAS VERY GOOD INDEED!!
It came with a scoop of rum and raisin ice-cream at the side. When I say Rum 'n Raisin, I don't mean the loser sort sold outside with little or no rum. This one tastes really quite bitter and the rum is generously added inside.
Rather unfortunately, the other side also sitted a bunch of caramelised figs. Remembering that Sun Wu Kong's favourite food is figs and forgetting he is a monkey, I bravely took a bite and it sucks.
But no matter: The star is the cake...
My, aren't we all hungry? Let's go binge now!!
Screw being skinny
Because I am being invited to go on the cover of a certain magazine, for the past month (the shoot was delayed) I have been on a frenzy to lose weight so that I will look my best, as you are not invited to grace mag covers everyday. Well ok, maybe for some people they are, but most certainly not me.
Now don't you men reading this give me the "Oh, it's just one of those stupid girls dieting again" look. I have NEVER dieted (nor tried to lose weight) in my entire life before the past 1 month, thus explaining the accumulated fats around my earlobes.
And seriously, screw being skinny. It is impossible to lose weight at all in Singapore.
We all, know, besides the cheating ways like popping liver-splintering pills or liposuction, there are only two ways to get slimmer.
You either exercise or diet (by eating little or none, or eating healthy food).
Fuck dieting. In Singapore, everywhere you go there is food. I have came to realise that I hate any kind of food that is non-fat. Screw celeries! I hate them. Yucks to yogurt. I love creamy pastas. I love anything deep-fried. Even when I eat salads (which I do not enjoy), I want loads of mayo on it.
I maintained eating only apples for two days and now I hate apples with a vengence. When I see an apple I want to smack it really hard. Then stab it with a fondue fork and throw it away like you would throw a javelin (after taking out the fork as the fork in my imagination is fairly expensive).
Wherever I go, food beckons. "Hello Wendy, come eat me, I am delicious!" the food says in a squeaky voice while wafting smells to my dilating nostrils. ROAR! I cannot help but devour it up.
I call Eekean up at night to meet up. I realise I don't have an excuse to meet her if it is not for supper (which is the real reason why I wanna meet her anyway, because of food). I tell myself I will cheat her into going but not eat when she eats. And there you go! WHO CAN RESIST MILO DINOSAUR AND CHEESE PRATA YOU TELL ME? WHO?!
I have also came to realise that food is my inspiration in life. Without food to propel me, I cannot survive. Life has lost its lustre and is now lacklustre. I don't know how celebrities like Jacelyn Tay (apparently she is vegan and enjoys her veggies) can continue living such an unmeaningful life without foie gras, without do-and-me chicken wings, without chilli crabs. How utterly superficial her life must be!
I WANT FOOD! Chao Tuppy eats like a retired supermodel. Although she has offered to go on veggies and fruits together with me, I cannot take it anyway and binge.
It is such a miserable existance you know! Now, even when I give in to those strong craving pangs and - god forbid - buy a packet of Ruffles, (the culprit to US being a fatty nation), YOU KNOW WHAT I DO??
I FUCKING CHECK THE AMOUNT OF SATURATED FAT INSIDE! (Just for your information and a nugget of trivia, the ORIGINAL favour is actually fatter than the chedder favour with fats being 16g and 15g respectively) HOW LOSERISH IS THAT?
But never mind. Whenever I binge, I tell myself I will work it out that night by doing vigorous exercise. When I say vigorous exercise, I would like to think it is sex, but unfortunately for me currently there is no one to provide that.
Exercise is the MOST SUCKY THING IN THE WORLD EVER. I fucking hate it. (Except sex) People who like it are a little mental - people who do it for a living are deranged.
People who break their knees for it ... Is there a word for more crazy than deranged?
Whenever people ask me to go play sports, ie jogging, badminton, squash etc, I always say NO because sports make you have sweaty genitalia, and what am I to do if a handsome young man comes up to me after a jog and offers to provide cunninlingus? Do I go like, "Sorry, I'd love to, but I cannot, as my vulva is sweaty now"?
A joke a joke, of course I pretend to be a nice decent lady and slap his face, but taking his number down all the same.
But yes. I have decided to start on exercising. I thought just doing leg lifts and that sort of thing will make you lose weight, but Weili and Tuppy scolded me and said that is not true. The only way, they say, is to do CARDIO.
CARDIO CARDIO! Cardio means, according to Weili, the kind of exercise that will make your heart pom pom tiao. I wanted to ask him if getting a big fright counts but he was very impatient with me as I was also eating an oily piece of drumstick as I asked him how to lose weight.
Cardio means jogging. I have been jogging. And swimming. And hoola-hooping, if that is significant at all. (The word is purple because my hoop is purple!)
Once again, I shall stress how impossible it is to jog in Singapore.
Now, for the past 7 years since secondary school, I have not jogged. My thighs are so chockful of stubborn fats that if you poke them with a pin, the fats will squirt out and hit you squarely in the eye.
So yes, I tried jogging, because I have asked a lot of people (people like Ping Hui and Eileen Wee because celebrities know) and they all say its the way to lose weight.
I tried jogging to Eekean's house (Teban to West Coast) and I managed to do that by walking halfway. Then I went to raid her fringe and binged. -_-
2nd jog I jogged back from Eileen (Tan)'s house (Bukit Batok West to Teban) and was doing pretty well, when I got hit by an acute stomachache and almost died there beside the Jurong library, feeling also a terrible urge to take a shit.
The stomachache was staged by the lazy muscles I have, because it immediately eased up after I got on a cab. -_-
Oh yeah, I also tripped on a tree root and fell down.
We all know I am a delicate shade of white below my golden tan, and that is what is left on my knee cap after it healed. Thanks. I am now fat as well as dreadfully colourful.
So my 3rd jog was just now, and Weili said you must do cardio for 45 minutes at minimum so that your fats will be burnt.
I told myself I am better than that and will jog for 1 hour, around Pandan Reservior, at freaking 1.15am.
I started jogging and suddenly I remembered the chao Weili tell me that got this Teban GHOST which hops from tree to tree at Pandan reservior. GOOD GRACIOUS ME NOW HUNGRY GHOST FESTIVAL. Startled, I mentally cursed Weili but I checked and the ghost was not hopping on the tree near me.
If it helped, I got a big fright and my heart beat fast, meaning I did cardio.
I freaked out and jogged down the nearest stairs to the road, while waving my hands like a mad woman.
Ten minutes in the jog, a stitch started to form. I tried to continue jogging while clutching my rib, but I am sorry to say I don't have the determination of Terry Fox. I am just fat lumpy Xiaxue.
So I walked. I tried to brisk walk. I started to feel an severe itch on my buttocks and thighs, and this is due to bad blood circulation or something. With the stitch and itch (wow, it rhymes!!) working hand in hand, I cannot jog anymore.
I tried to tell myself I have to go on if I want to be skinny, but guess what?
I saw a bus ad, AND IT IS MOCKING ME! It is bioessence's SLIMMING GEL AND AILEEN TAN SHOWING ME HER FAB BODY!
Kaninahia! Limpeh jogging like a pig you tell me to take shortcut, how can?!
As if these are not enough reasons for me to stop jogging, every five minutes a taxi drives pass REALLY SLOWLY, BECKONING ME TO HOP IN.
LAO NIANG IS FAT, LET ME JOG IN PEACE CAN?!
But cannot. These taxi drivers and cheebye slimming ads have to do this to me.
Feeling utterly dejected, I walked the remaining journey home and here I am!
Well, I am giving up right now. The shoot is on Tuesday, and I am going to my cancelled (due to the haze) KL trip on Friday till Sunday.
KL LEH, HOW TO DONT EAT!
I also tried using Bioessense (on face) and biotherm (on tummy) but both don't seem to be working very well leh... $30 and $60 leh... Sian.
HOW? If you know any good method of slimming down (besides dieting and exercising), tell me, or I think I will do one of the following:
1) Puke after binging.
2) Take a piece of Cloudy's shit (smelliest thing in the world I tell you) and sniff it everytime I have an appetite.
3) Introduce tapeworm into digestive system. Make it two worms.
4) Cut my tongue out.
5) Consume laxatives.
OH WAIT. Are you one of those slimming companies? CAN YOU PLEASE ENDORSE ME?? PLEASE PLEASE??
LIKE NOW? Email me yeah?
A shoutout to my friends
First of all, A BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BENJAMIN LOY!!! The big baby is now 21 and still winning mahjong!! (grumble, I just lost $10 to him)
I was reading Tuppy's blog just now and the comments left there.
It is really fucking disgusting how low some people can go. In an attempt to spoil Tuppy and my friendship, they say untruthful things like Tuppy is a a copycat of me, and etc.
HAHA! I laugh! Let me tell you now it will not work, because my friends are made of better and stronger stuff than that. Are you still trying now? How very pathetic. No friends of your own?
Well anyway, here's a blog entry to all my close friends, who are getting shit slinged at them just because they are connected to me.
A BIG HUG TO YOU ALL!
Poor Weili, always kena people accusing him to be a Xiaxue wannabe, when we are so totally different. For one, he has a penis. (a long one I heard)
Poor Tuppy, people comparing our dressing styles and looks... Though most of the time it is to your favour but occasionally still got some fucker will insult you...
They say your neh neh is small but little did they know it is just coz you bind them...
Actual size.
Poor other friends, whose photos I might put up/I have wrote about, and have readers insulting your looks/intellect and etc for nothing.
I know you all have put up with all these unnecessary shit and never once complained because you all value our friendship (either that or you really do not give a shit about what these people say), and I really appreciate that. =)
It is easy for you all to just stop being close friends with me, or forbid me to mention I know you guys on the blog ever again, but you never once did that, because you guys are magnanimous enough to understand there will always be mean people like that, and it is not my fault anyway what these madcaps say.
Within these years I realised I have drifted away from my friends with majoy privacy issues, unfortunately. It is a rather sad thing.
But for those who are still here and still getting shit slinged at you, I apologize on behalf on these tio po li jian fuckers, and I LOVE YOU ALL OK?? *muacks* Ignore them. =D
And I just got back from Ben's chalet.
The winner of Blind Dates, Policeman Sam, was super nice to me and we had a fab dinner at Sheraton Towers (Newton).
He then drove me to the chalet at Aranda (PARIS RIS!), where he saw Ben's brother being humped by a chihuahua (Ben's brother didn't stop the dog until it came and wet his jeans. YUCK!). No doubt Sam must have been traumatized by my choice of friends, but he didn't flinch.
Later on that night, he came back to the chalet from his place at East Coast (because he left to watch soccer) to send me home! How sweet is that?
Very.
A short summary of driving distance is Newton --> Pasir Ris --> East Coast --> Pasir Ris --> Tampines (dropped Ivan off) --> Teban Gardens (!) --> East Coast.
I feel quite nauseated thinking of driving so much.
More photos and everything tomorrow, I shall go rest now. =) What a good day!
Why are there
SO MANY FUCKING STUPID PEOPLE READING MY BLOG AH? I cannot take it - if you are the serious sort who gets angry over STUPID THINGS, then please fuck off.
Reminds me of my poly classmate G, whom I dislike (and vice versa). Now G is extreme, because she has no sense of humour to the point of scariness, but here is a test for you to take, an actual situation:
You are my classmate. In class one day, June (who is a far closer friend to me than to you) wears a pair of gong-gong specs and office wear to school, for she had a presentation to do.
Someone comments that June, who usually wears contacts and funkier clothes, looks very different today. I shout out loudly, "Yeah lor, you look like the teacher kind of porn-star leh!"
Do you:
A) Laugh awkwardly with the rest of the class
B) Add on and ask June where her whip is
C) Work yourself up into a rising temper and while hammering and turning over the table, exclaim, "Well Wendy, I do not think it is funny at all! If you take June as your real friend, then you shouldn't say that about her! Do friends call their friends porn stars? NO THEY DON'T! You are being too mean here, and I think you have just insulted June! Now, please apologize!"
If you chose
A)
Congratulations, your reaction is mediocre and common, but at least you have a sense of humour. Please stay, and continue reading my blog.
B)
You are funny! Please leave witty comments, for everyone loves a funny and humourous person. You will be rich in future and likely to be very good in bed.
C)
You are G. You embarrass yourself thoroughly because June herself is rather flattered (says porn stars are mostly pretty), yet you got yourself angry over nothing.
You try to advise June and I on what friendships should be based on, but you forgot that we are the close friends and besides - you have no rights to teach others how "real friends" should be as you have none.
You assume the world thinks like you and no one has a sense of humour, just because God forgot to give you your spoonful when you were born. You are anal-retentive and try to stir up shit because nobody cares about what you think, seriously.
Worst of all you have a warped view of everything, and you impose your warped theories on everyone, and accuse them of friendship betrayal and backstabbing and etc, when the two friends involved only view it as testimony to how close they are.
At the end of the day, you are just this sad, sad being who exists thinking the world is shitty because you do not accept that what may be conceived as offensive to you is not to others - well, to most other people anyway.
Well said Wendy! So yes, if you belong to Catergory C, please fuck off and stop reading my blog. No, no, don't. Don't read it ever again, even if you like my milder entries. Just fuck off. Who are you to ask me to change for your viewing pleasure? Who are you to speak on behalf of all my readers and tell me not to write certain things?
You are just one of those Cat C people I do not welcome here. Do not presume to ask me to change myself, because I will rather remain the way I am for those who already love me for being myself - and these outnumber your sort by loads. =)
Now stupid and serious people, please fuck off. Go on. Don't add to my readership now, for that will only make me more arrogant, no?
I still love you Cat A and B people. *hugs*
P/s: June says she didn't say she is flattered and she not a porn-star wannabe, but it is true she did say porn stars are usually pretty. So there. Read The Full Article
Dear Miss Furong
Hi! I am assuming, that being the famous China star you are right now, starring in movies and what's not, you will not actually chance upon my humble site.
I am also assuming, that your supposed English blog is not really written by you, and therefore you do not read my blog. (If you are indeed the writer then I have to tell you that the "sister" is redundant in your blog title because jiejie already means sister, no? Hmmm...)
If you happen to chance upon this blog entry, I shall first sincerely apologize for the harsh words I have yet to write but will, but please do take it with a large quantity of salt.
You see, I cannot not do this.
Yesterday, a blogder of mine emailed me telling me not to be upset. She said that I am pretty, because even though I do edit my photos, I can't be half that bad, as photoshop can only do that much.
I'm coming to the point which is relevant to you! See, she also further joked that even photoshop cannot help me if I am an ugly ass like you. (she say one hor, not me)
Inwardly I gloated in self-satisfaction and I think, were I a normal male blogger, I would have smirked and wanked with absurd vigour, for that email is very pleasing indeed to behold. But fortunately for my keyboard (which is the dirtiest household item according to research, beating the toilet bowl seat), I just pondered about what this blogder said.
Can photoshop save Furong Jiejie?
Yes Furong, I'll say probably no too.
With that I started on the near impossible, which is to beautify you...
But first, like a plastic surgeon, I must first analyse what is wrong before I do so.
Well, erm, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you are too fat. Maybe in China, it is a trend to resemble a walrus, but in Singapore, I assure you you are considered to be too fat. Even I, with my infinitely small 22.5" waist, am said to be fat by the ridiculously high standards set by Singaporean boys.
Furong Jie, for goodness sake go jogging. Indeed, jogging creates a sweaty vulva which is highly unattractive, but no one will suddenly request to perform cunninlingus on you anyway if you are fat, so well it's sweaty genitalia or nothing!
Speaking of exercise, I also suggest you get to a pool (coincidentally does China have swimming pools?) and get a tan. I know! Some people have that bai li tou hong (red sheen underneath pale skin) glow when they are white. But not you. You, like me when I was fair, look pretty pallid. So go get a tan! You can also go to a beach, but refer to said walrus problem.
Right. While we are on the topic of fat, WHAT IS THAT YOU ARE WEARING?! I don't know if clothes are like that in China, but someone, ANYONE, should tell you Furong, that flower-prints top and flower-prints bottom DO NOT LOOK GOOD TOGETHER! You may argue that they are clearly different flowers, and one is blue while the other is pink (many petals five petals yada yada), but that is hardly the point!
And you made it worse by standing in front of more plants - now in green! Wow. Not smart.
I know you love your S-shaped body, but empire-cut tops with a loose circumference is clearly not for you, babes. It is flaring out, if you didn't already see that. FLARING OUT. In fact, it flared out so much that you can hide a few chickens inside and people will be none the wiser.
Now we go to your face. MAKE UP! Your eyes are one big one small, and your pupils look very funny. When I say funny, I don't mean like ha-ha funny, I mean shitass weird funny. Your jawline is flabby but I'll fix that, no problemo don't you worry, and your nose is big.
They also flare, like your blue-flowered blouse. (refer to previous joke about chickens, and replace chickens with guppies)
I think you are old, aren't you? I am no curator but I'll age you around 38. When you are that old, you do not give tired smiles. It mades me jaded about life just to look at you. It is with utmost self-disciple that I didn't just slide into a life of sudden destitution.
Your ears are very clean, good for you!
I'm almost done! We now come to the part everyone has been avoiding, because it is so in-your-face. Your armpits. Furong jie, when the flab on your arms threaten to engulf you, you do not encourage them by flashing them to the world. I don't like the pits, but I suppose it only looks revolting coz ... I don't know, I think it's just you I guess.
So yes... Let me try to work some magic...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
NICE NOT??! Well, let me tell you what is changed:
I trimmed down your nose and face, and made you thin. I added blusher and eyeshadow (and some lashes too). I pushed your eyebrows lower, and pushed your mouth higher.
I took away blemishes and dark eye rings. I made your skin a little bit more glowing.
AS A FINISHING TOUCH I EVEN GAVE YOU ELF EARS! How cool is that? You know that show LOTR? Yeah, elves are very hot right now.
But the thing is... I cannot get rid of how weird your pupils look. They look even more weird now, though I didn't touch the pupils.
And meanwhile, Furong, you must pump up the estrogen!
YOU LOOK LIKE A MAN! I thought the small nostils will cure that manly problem, but clearly it didn't.
I know, it obviously doesn't even slighly look like you anymore, but what to do? I am an artist mah (oh you know, nowadays anyone who paints a few pictures can call themselves artists and suddenly become experts on art), and aesthetics is very important to me so I didn't stop until ... you don't look the least bit like yourself anymore lor.
I hope you like it hor. I am going to sleep now, I am so tired! Oh btw, if you had a body like my after photo I will surely fuck you, if I had a dick and at least two condoms. Nights!
Post-note: Firstly, do try not to insult the girl, for in all chances someone who types that kind of English does not know how to get round the fact that China bans Blogger. It is a Singaporean who did up FRJJ's English site, so don't bash her for being bhb. I do not think she will read this thus my straightforwardness, and I hope she won't (because China bans blogspot sites), but I also want to state that my readers' comments do NOT represent my stand.
And also, thanks for all the PS compliments ya all. Make me fly up to the sky liao. =) *hugs*
Together Singapore, Singapore!
This shall be a boring, and not funny entry.
Sang Nila Utama saw a singa and named us Singapura.
If he saw a pig, then we are babipura? Ba bi po!
I just came back from watching The Maid (it is not that bad actually) with Kelvin and his friends, and sorry for the lack in updates, for I was at a chalet last night!
On Monday evening, I had a nice dinner with tomorrow.sg's editors, and then I had to rush off to fetch Smelly from the MRT station. When they (editors) curiously asked where I am going, I said, "My (mother's side) family had a little quarrel, so now we are having a chalet to patch things up a bit. Everything can be settled over overnight mahjong!"
Awww... I felt a warm feeling inside when I said that.
It has been so long since I last had a gathering with my aunties, grandpa, uncles and cousins, and we stayed up all night to talk nonsense in the chalet. =) Very good. It is nice to be with your own family, because there is no pretence, and nobody dislikes each other (and still pretend to like). Even if people do, after so many years we have all sort of learned to accept each other anyway.
During mahjong I started singing National Day songs at the top of my voice, and my semi-deaf Ah gong (grandpa), who rarely talks, swept his hand across the mj table near my face, and said a singular "OEI!"
My cousins all laughed at me for being scolded, by a semi-deaf grandpa no less, for horrible singing. It is that bad meh? In case you are wondering, the song he didn't like is "Count on me Singapore".
I realised that I enjoy staying over at chalets with aunties better than with friends! For one, these aunties (momo included) love cooking, and as 'kids', all you have to do is eat. Eat, and accompany Ah gong to play mahjong. If you don't have money to lose, Mommy will sponsor. =D Shiok not? Maid cleans, and the adults will drive you everywhere and pay for everything.
Jumping abruptly back to the blogger's dinner, I've to say that Mrbrown is really a disgustingly good man. I mean, we all know he is the sort who loves his family a lot, but sometimes he sprouts some more lovey stuff out of the blue just to give you the good old AWWWww while you least expect it.
We were just eating, when he looked at the menu while commenting, "Wah, the food here not bad ah? I must bring The Wife here some day."
I cannot remember, but I think LMD asked him whether or not he eats out often, and brownie replied, "Yeah lor, every Friday....
"Once in a week must make her feel special mah. Because weekend is for the kids already, no time for her."
Even as I write this I got the tingling feeling. I mean, seriously... How many men can say that, and stick to it as a principle?
Whenever I see Brown I wonder... All these guys I've always liked... The good-looking chaps, the rich jocks and the jerks... Perhaps I have been wrong about the sort I should want. So what if I marry Brad Pitt? He will run away with a sexier lady in the end! Or maybe I get Jude Law? He will probably fuck my best friend and break my heart.
Bah! Maybe my cousin Cally's golden words are right: It is more important that a man is faithful and love you to bits, than anything else. (Cally if you are reading this go make a baby NOW so I can stop hounding Shuyin's cousin for Abbie)
Recently I have been one emotional wreck. I know, I sound like one of those stupid female bloggers who constantly say such things and continues the 20-lined paragraph with things like they cannot sleep, they cry whenever they see lizards, or WHATEVER. ANNOYING, such girls. Constantly saying they are sick of life, they feel drained etc. Please lah if you are so consistently miserable I suggest you go kill yourself - or buckle up and quit whining.
But still, I feel like one of them recently, although please, I am not so kua zhang until I get all emo over a hamstring or something ridiculous like that.
See, the thing is... You know the Class 95 blind dates right?
Well, one of the contestants that I chose, well let's just say I found his blog.
I realised that he wrote an entry about me, and ... it is not nice. It is not an old entry mind you, it was written when I got hacked, which is fairly recently.
His first sentence started out saying that the first thing he thought when he saw I was hacked ... was ...
Make a guess...
YES, THAT I DESERVED IT.
Did you know that I was so fucking distressed during the hacking thing? I barely slept. I couldn't off the computer, and I had constant fears the hacker will delete my account or something, or hack me again. Whenever I keyed in my password my fingers shook.
And on top of that I am not blind. I read all of the trackbacks of the people who wrote their opinions about this incident, on Tomorrow.
Can you fucking believe that whilst I was already so ruined, I still had to deal with people saying I deserve it? Fuck that, seriously.
I hated all these people who were so cruel - and believe it or not, he was one of them. Yes, baby. When you wrote that entry, perhaps I am just this faraway being whom you care no less about. But I do read what people write about me, and I do feel upset when I read things.
So yes, he was one of those people. His entry chided the hacker for irresponsible actions, but he also said that he was - god - tickled by what the hacker did, because well, he said he saw me on TV and heard me on air, and my actions rubbed him the wrong way and he didnt like the way I carried myself. (I feel so yuan wang, what did I do wrongly this time? I don't remember being mean on TV)
We talked for multiple times during the radio show last week, and I liked him, as a person.
I naively thought all the contestants were sincere in wanting to get to know me better. I laughed at their jokes, I was seriously touched when they did things for me, and never would I have thought that one of them will secretly dislike me inside.
Up till now I cannot fathom why he joined.
I started to think of the reasons myself, and I got more and more upset and insulted as they dawned on me, these imaginary hurtful reasons.
Perhaps he was mocking me while his friends laughed and sneered, while listening to the radio, at how I stupidly believed that someone like him will ever be interested in me?
Perhaps it was a bet? Or maybe a sabotage?
I got more and more paranoid and I started crying (I KNOW! Emo wreck) coz I don't think I did anything to deserve this rubbish. Peter told me to join Blind Dates, and he said it is going to be fun. I said ok.
Whatever the reason is, the one thing this incident did was to really shatter my ego.
No, seriously. I know I have my fair share of admirers, but on the other end of the spectrum are guys who claim they are disgusted by me.
I used to always convince myself that the latter guys, very often the guys in forums who diss me, are FUCKING LOSERS THEMSELVES. Fat, smelly, pimply teens who do gaming all day long. They know a girl like me will never like them, they will never be able to get a girl like me, and thus, to "save face", they first claim they will never date me.
Smart huh? Who are you, losers? It it like me saying I will never date someone like George Clooney. Hello, he wants to date me first then I have the right to sprout such atrocity, ok? You won't want to date me? BET YOU WILL, IF I AGREE TO IT. But of course, I won't. =D I don't date LOSERS.
So I don't get very upset by these people who say Xiaxue is stupid, fat etc.
But having a perfectly normal, and maybe rather eligible, guy make you feel unworthy of him is another thing altogether.
Am I so bad, that even in a quest to find a guy for me bogus ones come apply? Maybe the others also signed up because... I DON'T KNOW! I feel like I cannot trust the world anymore.
I got so upset that I called Yasminne while she was in Hongkong. Within that one action, that one single blog entry that this guy did, my entire self-confidence is gone.
We wrote each other, via email. He said he was wrong, and that opinions change, and that he was sincere when he took part, but I don't think trust can be built so easily. I do believe him, because he sounds like a nice person really (in the rest of the blog entries he was very nice... wonder what I did to make him ooze out his rare venom when I got hacked).
We'll see how things go tomorrow then.
Meanwhile, I opened my mail, and someone told me, taunting, that my "boyfriend" wrote that I am short, small-breasted and photoshopped - and not good enough for him.
I was like, huh? But having a hunch, I opened Kenny's site anyway, and shockingly enough, the chao Kenny really wrote that.
I started crying again (I told you I am an emotional wreck right now, usually I am not like that). Kenny was joking, but because I was already feel very low about myself, I couldn't see the humour in it. I told Kenny that nobody will find that he is joking, because I really am short, small-breasted, and I do edit my photos.
All my ego needed, was someone who has seen and interacted with me in real life, to confirm all these things about me.
Thanks ah Kenny, but not now ok? *whacks Kenny on the head with a walrus*
Right. I still feel like an emotional wreck right now. DEEP BREATH. NOW WENDY, STOP FUCKING WALLOWING IN SELF-PITY. EMO WRECKS ARE SO NOT ATTRACTIVE.
Think positive. Now think of the guys who like you. Now think: Thousands of people read you, and daily, they are telling you they like you the way you are. Why do you only keep harping on the bad stuff that people say? Well yes, ok, the criticism do sink in a lot more, but many more like you than the handful who don't. FUCK CARE THEM!
Now Wendy, get back your usual cheerful self. If you think you are unattractive, do something about it, like buying new clothes!! =D
OKOK! I am better now after the solioquy! *sniffs* Who cares even if the blind date guy doesn't sincerely like me?
You do, right? =) I also say. I love myself too.
Speaking of good things, Shuyin and I are going to KL on Friday, together with Chua and his friends!
I TELL YOU, I AM GOING TO SHOP MY HEART OUT. I will buy so many clothes, and shoes, and bags! I will eat good food! I will look very nice when I come back! Ah, shopping therapy. =)
And of course, tune in to Class 95fm, Wednesday, 10pm.
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