The Land of Smiles (II)

(Super long entry)


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Ok, I cannot take it ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!! Aren't those bunnies SUPER CUTE???? I think the only sleeping one the right is the cutest thing I HAVE EVER SEEN, and I really don't know why I didn't buy a bunny, because the netherland dwarfs are sold for...


40 freaking Singapore cents at the CHATUCHAK MARKET!!!

That's right! I don't even mind buying a few to put in the hotel room and cuddling them to sleep for 3 nights, and letting them go free when I go back to Singapore man.

Aiyoh they are so cute I just want to put my nose at their bellies and snuggle them... :D

So anyway, the bunny picture is not supposed to be in front, but I just thought it is super cute. Ahem.

Chatuchak Market!

We went there again the second day, because we didn't really see much the last time. After a long period of searching (the place is THAT big), we found the animals at section 16!

The Thai animal vendors at Chatuchak has taught me one thing: Animals do not need to be pampered like how stupid Singaporeans pamper them.

It irks me when I see people mollycoddling their pets, getting angry at you if you dare to as much as scold/insult the pet, which is ridiculous coz obviously the pet doesn't understand what you are saying. Yes loud voices might startle them, but they aren't hurt, just are just having a biological reaction.

As Kelvin will explain in exasperation, it is ludicrous to throw a human being in jail for torturing animals because animals are not capable for self-conscious thoughts. They do not possess the ability to be self-aware, and therefore are not bestowed with the knowledge of their very existance.

It is fairly certain that they cannot feel jealousy, they cannot understand claustrophobia, nor will they get the magnitude of depression a normal human being might get, being in jail.

(I was speaking to him on MSN so I shall just put in the entire conversation, lazy)

Kelvin - illuminati - lucifer: morning star, bringer of light says:
to punish a human being, with a system devised by our very superiority

Kelvin - illuminati - lucifer: morning star, bringer of light says:
for the abuse of an 'inferior' species

Kelvin - illuminati - lucifer: morning star, bringer of light says:
is an irony

Kelvin - illuminati - lucifer: morning star, bringer of light says:
we r aware of humiliation, and pride, and isolations

The weather is siao says:
lol i shall put that in and sound like i am very cheam

Kelvin - illuminati - lucifer: morning star, bringer of light says:
tt is the purpose of bein jailed

Kelvin - illuminati - lucifer: morning star, bringer of light says:
but pls do clarify tt i love animals

Kelvin - illuminati - lucifer: morning star, bringer of light says:
and i tink ppl who abuse them r sick

Kelvin - illuminati - lucifer: morning star, bringer of light says:
and should seek help

Kelvin - illuminati - lucifer: morning star, bringer of light says:
i just dont tink tt jailin them is appropriate

Well before I digressed, I was saying that animals do not need to be pampered. I do not proclaim to be a frantic animal lover (only like them if they are cute; animal lovers, do you love cockroaches? Don't gimme bullshit, if you are an "animal lover" then you love all animals, else you are just a CUTE-LOVER), and nor do I have anything against people who are infatuated with animals...

Oh wait I do.

I hate it when people treat animals better than they treat humans! Of course, some high-moral soul will now say that animals are better coz won't backstab you, they will never betray your love, etc etc, let's not eat them.

Yeah right kiddo, he only loves you coz he knows you will give him food. Why not test his love by sending him to your neighbour, who gives him tastier food from now on, and see if he returns? If he does, it is possibly coz your neighbour doesn't masturbate him and you do (out of love, you proclaim). Conditioned responses, all conditioned responses.

And number 2, a tasty jellyfish dish is also incapable of backstabbing you, that kind benign plate of delicacy! So why not you treat the jellyfish dish better than you treat your mom? How about a rusty doorknob? Also will never sleep with your best friend!

Humans are so weird.

As our society progresses and we don't have to bother about our own survival, we start to bother ourselves with other people's survival, like they want it in the first place. Like whales. Or or foie gras.

In the past, which raving caveman will give a flying fornication about saving a wild boar because "it can feel pain too, and it is near extinct"? Fuck it man, he will tear off the boar's skin and wear it for warmth, eat the meat to fill his stomach, and use a bone as a hair accessory.

Of course, now that we have alternatives (cotton, airpork, and hair dye), it is considered disgusting, cruel, and selfish to even scold an dog. WTF?!

Anyway, once again, before I digressed, I was saying that the Thais have made me realise that there is NO NEED WHATSOEVER TO PAMPER ANIMALS.

It is obvious the animals were kept in bad conditions, very bad conditions. The snakes were in mineral water bottles, the squirrels swung around via a string tied to their necks, and the puppies pushed around and allowed to lick every tourists' filthy hand.

The mere sight of the place will kill your average, superficial animal lover. Even Maddox might cringe a little. Or maybe not.

And yes, it is cruel, and I didn't like it too.

But curiously enough, you will realise something.



The animals propogate.


And we all know that animals only give birth in captive breeding when they are comfortable in their environment.

We have all forgotten that animals have survial instincts too, and they don't need us to wipe their anus for them after they shit.

Well that's that, let's go back to Chatuchak!

Chicks! I didn't see coloured ones though. :) So cute, chirping all over.


OMG the baby hedgehogs are the cutest! Besides that bunny.


It is around fist-sized.


Scurry!

Hedgehogs are very shy creatures. Do you know they spasm with loud noises? We realised that when we cough they shake rhythmically! I guess it's a defence machanism so that when they hear an intruder they shake and if you are near you get poked.

You can hold them in your hands, but only if you are an experienced durian seller. I did, coz the Thai guy says you can, and I got pricked (got blood somemore ok!)... Poor me!

When you pick them up, the roll very tightly into a ball! So cute! You cannot even see any part of their soft underbelly nor faces. After some time, they uncurl, and peek into the world, their little noses sniffing around. SO CUTTTTTE!!!

I don't know how mama-hedgehogs give birth though? Either the baby hedgehogs have very soft spikes or she has a very strong byebye.

Oh hedgehogs selling for around 1000 baht ($48 sing), which our tour guide later informed us is expensive.

Puppies!

There were so many cute puppies! Super duper cute man! And guess what? They are sold for like S$160 each!!

You'll save around S$840 if you bought a jack russell here and manage to smuggle it back. Or more, since $160 is way before haggling.

Can you spot the fake bunny?

These rabbits were just left on a shelf, and weirdly enough, they do not jump off!

Sorry, I cannot help putting this pic again, they are really super adorable...

WHAT ARE THESE??!

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Squirrels!

Uber cute but quite dumb to keep them as pets coz they move way too fast.

Last but not least...

A SLOW LORIS!!

I really wanted to buy it back, but they didn't have the miniature kind I wanted, nor do I know how to smuggle it, dammit.

I should have taken a lot more photos, but most of the Thais didn't allow it, so these were mostly taken secretly.

There were many other animals, such as baby ALLIGATORS (!), snakes, scorpians, and I'm sure if you asked for an elephant or a tiger cub somebody will be selling it.

I couldn't take photos of the more "manly" animals, coz photography was very strictly prohibited in that shop.

After Chatuchak we went to watch the infamous Thai Girls show. ($20 per person)

Possibly the only photo ever smuggled out of the place is this. I am so sorry that I am not a good enough blogger, coz most of the time the girls were not wearing anything and I didn't manage to get a shot of that.

Nonetheless, here's a photo that can aid your imagination as I explain. Of course, you shall not forget I risked life and limb (they are pretty lawless in Thailand) to get this damn photo taken. I got caught twice, both times by the dancing girls, who wagged their fingers at me.

SO ANYWAY, the show. There were a few misconceptions I had before I entered the place.

The first was that it is a SEX show. But it is not, it is a freak show. I'm not being rude, it is true! When you go in you will realise that the girls do not set out to arouse but to shock.

The second misconception was that seeing a girl bottomless is a lot more outragous that seeing a girl topless, which is more common. But surprisingly, even when the girls take off their bottoms, I didn't find it... very exposed.

You cannot really see their genitals (clever angles of stage) and all you can really see if a turf of pubes and that's it.

It was quite boring actually, despite it sounding so amazing.

This is what happens: A girl will come up to the stage and dance. She dances for some time, to drag the show on for the 45 minutes it is supposed to last.

Dance dance dance, SIAN! The music is crappy techno, and the girls are old and not pretty!!

Even watching ah kuas are better, coz at least ah kuas are vivacious and made for the stage.

These girls are bored of their routines, and unenthusiastic about their dancing.

We skip to the amazing parts... Where the girls have already took out their bikini bottoms and tied them around their thighs.

(WARNING: SPOILERS)

Stunt 1) The Amazing Coke manufacturer.

(Please take note that the guests were all served coke.)

Girl brings a coke bottle, filled with plain water. She sits down on the stage and stuffs the bottle head into her vagina.

Voila, bottle emptied! She dances for a short while, audience applause.

Girl sticks empty coke into the vagina again.

Liquid fills up coke bottle, and it is COKE COLOURED.

Stunt 2) Happy Birthday To You

Girl comes on to stage with another girl holding a fake birthday cake with real candles, and 2 really big balloons.

Performing girl sits down, and inserts a blowpipe into her vagina. She inserts a dart into the pipe. Meanwhile the other girl lightly hits the balloon so that it is floating around 2 metres in the air.

Performing girl takes aim, and blows. The darts fly, and hit the balloon with a spectacular burst. After second balloon, she proceeds to extinguish all the candles with her superior genital air.

Stunt 3) Would you like that bottle opened for you sir?

Girl shakes coke bottle violently. She puts bottlecap near vagina, and before anyone knows what is happening, has managed to open the bottle.

Stunt 4) The Gigantic pussy storage

Two stunts were almost the same, which is to pull an amazing amount of string out of their vagina. It is truly freaky, the strings are as long as, I don't know, 10 metres?

One string consists of bells, and the other, of UV-sensitive flowers. The girls just dance and loop the strings around the four poles while pulling and pulling endlessly.

Curious thing is how the strings do not get entangled while being stored!

Stunt 5) The addict

Girl walks up on stage, and lights up 2 ciggies.

She inserts them into herself, and puffs, while moving around to show the audience. By the end of 4 puffs or so, the cigarettes are finished, and she didn't burn herself.

As a bonus she blows a tune on a trumpet.

Stunt 6) You cannot harm me.

Girl comes on to the stage dancing around, with no apparent internal injuries, and holding a piece of scrap paper.

She puts a chain of something out of her vagina.

Audience squints for a bit before they realise what it is...

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And they all gasp. I screamed a little.

She pulls and pulls, not slowly mind you, and the blades come tumbling out, until it is as long as the chain of flowers and bells.

When she is done, she takes up random pieces of blades and slices (easily) the scrap piece of paper for us to see.

She smiles nonchalantly and takes her chain of blades down the stage, as if normal people insert such dangerous objects into their most sensitive areas everyday.

Stunt 7) The Lesbian Act

Two girls go on the stage, and they take out everything, including their tops which is usually kept on. They pretend to fuck.

Stunt 8) The Kamasutra

A man and a lady go on the stage. They are in their 30s, and not very good looking. They have a bit of foreplay, then have sex. It is more educational than anything else, with 2 strokes in each position and changing many positions without once taking out the penis. It is a lot more boring than it sounds. And the guy is ugly.

So that's that for the Thai Girls show! We eat.

We got cheated! That damn fish costs 700 baht, which is the price for a KG of fish, and we are sure it wasn't 1 kg. Damn! But for once, it feels good not to eat spicy food.

We move on to Khao San Night Market, where I met Jorraine, who was also in Bangkok with her friends!

It was a fabulous place!! Khao San specialises in selling body modification related things, which means lots of piercing rings, accessories, hair salons, clothes, manicures, etc. :) At quite reasonable prices! Massage S$10 for an hour. :)

We saw a very popular hair salon, which did braiding and dreadlocks.

You choose your hair colour, and they braid it for you!

Look at this girl!

She had shoulder length hair and she paid 800 baht (S$30 plus). Now it's waist length! Cool yes? You can keep the extension for around 2 and a 1/2 months, according to the Thais.

Click here to see how fast they do the braiding!!!!!

Amazing Thailand.

I chose pink of course. :D

I did only 10 strands of hair and it costs me S$10, as compared to MBK's ridiculous quote of 1,000 baht ($48) for the same ten strands. Crazyass MBK idiots. And they refuse to lower the prices you know!

The boys like the shop (and their new tees)


Kelvin is pretty! He looks like a samsui woman lol

TWO HOURS LATER:


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MY NEW IDOL!!! Russell's SO COOL NOW! We told him he cannot smile that goofy smile anymore so he is now trying to act seh. -_- NICE RIGHT THE DREADLOCKS?! :D

We proceed to PATPONG, where all the sleaze is. :P

I don't see where the topless girls are...

Walking along Patpong, Thailand red-light district, is very exciting. As you go, you get a glimpse of the girls dancing inside, and some girls, some trannies, will be standing outside, pulling you in.

Oh, the lights and the glitter!


Some not so subtle.

Patpong does not only have sex shops, but also a night market, though it closes rather early and prices are farang (farang means all foreigners I believe) catered.

Being the great blogger I am, I urged the boys to get into one of the bars, and I managed to take ONE PHOTO:

There you go! Not topless though.

The sad thing is, on these bars the girls actually lose out to the trannies, who tend to look better. These Thai ladyboys are so hot, you just forgot that they were once men, seriously.

The prettiest of them flashed at us, and I nudged Tim excitedly to look. The girl saw me nudging and laughed at me... :( Xiaxue=mountain tortoise.

I also realised that amazingly the transsexuals have CAMEL TOES! Really damn amazing.

Guess how much it costs? 100 baht for a beer, if you don't bring any of the girls home. S$4 for looking at maybe 50 girls dancing for you, and a beer to boot? Deals like these you can only get in Thailand. :)

Patunum market was flooded (as is everywhere else actually), but the accessories there are so cheap. :)

Suan-Lum Night bazaar, great for furniture shopping and more upmarket things! (As you can see I am getting tired of this very long blog entry)

And we go back to Singapore.

Me with braids, Russ with dreadlocks, Kelvin with dyed and cut hair and Tim looks quite the same though he cut his hair coz he can't do anything outrageous; he is in the army. Poor thing!

We are not a couple btw, Tim and I. Couples do not go out with mutual friends all the time, do they? :)

Flying Finnair, the official airline for Santa Claus!



We love you!

Ok I'm out, super late now! I wrote this entry from 3.30pm till now, 7.21 pm! If it is not work I don't know what it is.

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The Land of Smiles (I)

So yes, my Bangkok trip!

It was so super fun! To be fair I didn't buy much stuff (like only $300 worth or so I think), but I did go with all guys, so we did a lot more sightseeing and exploring Bangkok than anything else!

I saw so many amazing things that had my jaw dropping.

I totally dig Bangkok man. I wanna go back again!

This is part I, because there are so many photos you are bound to be drowning in them if I post them all at one go.

Changi Airport

That familar board makes me very excited every time...

Upon checking in, we were horrifed to realise that our flight was 845pm and not 645 like what the tour agency told us! Wah lau!

The boys in front, queuing...

Russell's (with gf in photo) dad is a pilot, and Kelvin and him kept complaining about the queuing, because they don't usually fly economy, yadda yadda... It really took super long - coz there were a bunch of dumb people in front who had some problems. Grr!

But we are going to Bangkok! And thus nothing can spoil my mood!

Tim's mp3 player is very loud.

Sitting on Russell's bigass luggage! He brought it there 1/3 filled only and said it was for us, in case we needed more space for our shopping.... Awww...

AND WE GO INTO THE PLANE! Excited!

Don't know what Kel is digging for...



I think my flower makes me look very holiday-ish! :D



Yuck, airplane food!

The flight there was very good, a smooth take-off and landing, I didn't even get nauseous like I usually do. Christian says that the best pilots are Scandinavian. I like blondes!! When the pilot spoke in Finnish I was squealing to Russell how sexy it sounds (a lot of rrrr sounds and sounds like Elfish) and Russell slapped me with a spare life jacket.

Speaking of blondes, there wasn't any cute stewards. The Finnish were old and wrinkly, and the younger ones were ugly Thais. Sigh.

AND WE REACH BANGKOK, THAILAND!

I'm gonna die from my roaming charges...



Smoking is bad, but check out their dustbins!
BIA stands for Bangkok International Airport. :)



The Thais are a lot more blatant about their elitism.

We take a short ride to Royal Parkview Hotel!

One of our rooms was a corner one, and it is super big! There were 3 "areas", the living room where the couch is, the bed area, and the toilet area, with the wardrobe and luggage table.

What a deal.

I must say services aren't that good though, they sometimes tend to forget to clean up the rooms.

If you think Singaporean ciggies look bad, check out the Thai ones. Ten times worse. They freak me out!

We quickly move to Chatuchak weekend market.


Cute!

It was so crowded, and it started to rain, so we stopped shopping after a while and started on food.

Thai coke cans and their cute custom of stuffing straws under the tab.



Kelvin and I ordered roast duck curry with rice noodles or something. Nice!


"Is that an animal whip?!"

One of those carts outside was a sex shop.

Kelvin: "One of those bottles might contain something called the Spanish Fly..."

Me: "What is that?"

Kelvin: "Makes the girl itchy, eh, down there lar, then she will supposedly rub herself and make herself aroused, and have sex with you."

Me: "How you know?"

Kelvin: "I heard lar!"

Me: "What terrible things you men invent!"

Kelvin: "Rubbish, how you know it is a man who invented it, might be a girl."

Haha!

Hmmm... I checked and realised that Spanish Fly is an urban legend.

Cock rings! So funny, once again I asked the boys what this is for, and they said that the hair is supposed to give the girl pleasure by being ticklish.

I don't think so! I expect it to just irritate; looks rather prickly to me!

LOL very ugly dildos.

After this we experienced one very important Bangkok culture trait: Traffic jams!!

I love Bangkok's taxis! They are very plentiful (never had to wait for more than 1 minute for one), they have no regard whatsoever for traffic rules (speeding blatantly pass red lights and so on), and they come in many brilliant colours!!

My favourite is the pink one of course!! There's also bright orange and baby purple.

This motorcyclist was stuck in the jam beside us, and he kept stroking his daughter's hair... So sweet!

I took out my camera and mimed a permission to take a photo. As per normal with Thai culture, he smiled and turned his bike towards me and nudged his daughter to smile.

She was shy however. Very pretty!

Oh btw, you don't see like only got two people sitting on the bike ok! The mom is sitting at the back!

And good gracious me! THE MAX I SAW ON THE BIKE IS FIVE PEOPLE!! 3 kids 2 adults. Very amazing right these Thais!

We went to MBK next, and I am really disappointed... I remember years before there were SO MANY things to buy there! Now, the stuff there are seriously quite ex, and the quality is not that good either.

I blame the farangs, or what we call Angmohs. Thailand is INFESTED with dumbass farangs. They really spoil market for everyone else lor! They pay an exorbitant fee for everything, and the Thais jack up prices. :(

But we cannot blame the farangs, afterall the prices in their countries is so much more expensive, to them everything in Thailand must be real cheap. Why bother to bargain?

Sigh, very gross, you see the way the cab drivers flock to the farangs and how the Thai girls (bargirls I suspect) sit on the farangs' thighs and pull them to buy things in shops.

The farangs are very glad to be exploited because they do have the moolah.

Oh some of the Thai cabs have the sticker "I love Farangs - foreigners welcome, I speak English!". Blatant!

A bit racist hor, but a different kind. I suppose it is not racism, it is capitalism.

Ronald says hi to all the fellow farangs, and gives them a "wai".

AH KUA SHOW!!

Cantonese


English


Thai

And all lip-synced! They are so beautiful, my god.

The Ah kua shows cost around $20, which is rather expensive considering how many things that can buy in Thailand, but it is a must watch, because the Thais are really the best at the things they do.

Even the details of the props at the back will amaze you.

Ooooh fake boobies...

After a few songs the trannies left the stage and walked out, machiam beauty pageant.

Never seen so many in my life!

I was like, sian, over already, then I walked smack into hundreds of silicon boobs, cleverly cleaved camel toes and pitched voices... THE "GIRLS" WERE WAITING OUTSIDE!

The boys suddenly all turned shy and refused to move. I pushed them to take photos...

Kelvin and his substandard camera skills!!

Wah lau, you know I was quite filled with awe at these trannies, thinking they look very glamourous and classy (was damn ashamed of my ratty hair), when they started opening their mouths and asking for money.

"You gimme tips!"
"Must pay money, I take photo with you!"
"500 baht! You give me 500! ($20 sing)"

Extremely buay paiseh leh! I was like, huh, 500 baht I can go potong myself already lar, for what I pay to take photo with you! Ok lar maybe not enough to potong, but still, $20 sing dollars for a photo? YOU MUST BE MAD!

I don't think it takes much talent to take a damn photo, so I gave three girls only 20 baht each. LOL... Coz the boys gave 100 baht. Very giam right? But boh pian, I don't have change! It's either 20 or 100 and I can't possibly pay 300 baht for one damn blur picture!

Scary, these "girls"...



But very gorgeous...

I asked our tour guide how much it costs for rhinoplasty (nose job) in Thailand, and she said it costs....

YOU GUESS?!

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FREAKING $300!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I CANNOT TAKE IT!!!! *HYPERVENTILATES* It is so CHEAP! I want I want!

Don't stop me, I'm going. Stop pulling my sleeve! Hey let me go!

As I needed more evidence the Thai doctors are good, she appears, basking in her own special corner, when the rest of the trannies were just standing in line...

Clearly the best looker of the trannies, she stands, smiling, in front of her own printed poster...

In the smallest and most dejected of voice I concede that I lose. I lose big time. She is prettier, taller, more elegant, and even her damn hips are rounder than mine.

As a real woman I have no guts to face this cruel world anymore. I shall thus kill myself. After I finish this entry.

We then proceeded to Bed Supper Club, which is damn nice! Everything there is white and minimalistic.

But expensive! Someone told me that the clubs in Thailand don't usually pander to the locals, so it will mostly be bargirls and farangs you see inside... Before 12 is costs $24 to enter, with 2 drinks free.

Tim and I

Wah lau I put my make up in the dark hotel room and it looks damn patchy, without me realising.

There are two levels and you can climb a ladder up! :)

I told Russell to act like a drunkard lol...

Farangs...


The beds are so comfy!

Ok! End of today's entry!

It is rather boring isn't it? Coz all the interesting stuff are later! The Chatuchak animals (hedgehogs, slow lorises, endless super cute pups, all secretly taken photos, sheesh!), the sex shows, and the boys all getting a makeover! :D

I love Thailand!! *hugs Thailand* (I know you cannot hug a country but shut up)

The trick to winning the game is to find the dots with only 3 lines sticking to it, and PULL THEM TO THE 4 CORNERS. I know! I so clever right? :D

As for Kelvin's car's button, as a blog reader said, it is for the wind deflector. NOT a window defroster, duh.

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What the fuck is wrong with you people?!

Why are there so MANY stupid people around? My last article was clearly in praise of Dawn, so why are there still so many people saying STUPID THINGS LIKE I AM JEALOUS?

Why should I be jealous? I know her, and as a person I do like her. Stop using that word, it is ridiculously overused by IDIOTS. Everytime someone says something not favourable, it must be jealousy? It can't be... wait... SENSE?

And what is with this bullshit about "she has a blog and thus she is a blogger"?

ARE YOU STUPID OR WHAT?

YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW PEOPLE WHO HAVE BLOGS ARE BLOGGERS? Stop quoting my panasonic entry about me saying she is a blogger, asswipe, like you are so clever. Are you ugly? You must be. Now my blog entries feel disgustingly raped by your rampant perusal.

Everyone who blogs is a blogger? If you are so clever, then answer me... But first tell me your name. Is it Lumpy? So Lumpy, if you can manage to swim half a lap without dying, is it right for me to call you "Lumpy the swimmer"?

No, because calling you Lumpy the Guy-Who-Fucked-His-Cabbage-Patch-Kid-Doll would be a little more appropriate as a the defining title for you.

The other only great thing you did that people can remember was of course growing the biggest facial wart in Toa Payoh by the age of 7(or so your mommy says proudly, fondling it, my clever little lumplump baby boy...), but you didn't like the fact that the soccer boys kept trying prick it to see if it will implode and thus kill you, so you try to keep the warts thing to yourself.

Lumpy, of course, since you are so mediocre (by mediocre I mean scum of society), if you blog, I suppose we can also call you a "Blogger". But of course, your turd of a blog has a grand readership of half a person a day, because someone once told you (the biggest of the soccer kids) that how much of a person you are is measured by your penis size. (By virtue of the wise soccer kid, girls are measured by boobies)

Yours is 2.5 inches at max when you see that one particular soccer kid (my, those socks, those tight stripey socks!), and even the Japanese statistics cannot tell you that the national average is anything less than 5 inches.

So you suppose you are counted as half a person...

But Lumpy, despite your name, can you not lump a mediocre person like yourself (how dare you Lumpy!) with Dawn. You can be called a "Lumpy the blogger" only because you are so non-descript, otherwise.

I stick by my view, which is that Dawn is famous mostly coz she is hot, so she is a hot person who blogs. Understand? Avril Lavgine also blogs, but she is a Singer who blogs, not a Blogger who sings and sells platinum albums for fun.

But of course, you can still continue calling Dawn a blogger if you want to, WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOUR FUCKING OPINIONS? Nobody is asking you to agree with me; I can't be right all the time, though I do pretty good, so agreeing with me should be a clever thing to do.

Please: If you have an IQ of 90 and below (Lumpy's 86), do not read my blog. Hell, make that 120. (Yes, mine is above 148, in case idiots say stupid things like "Yours might not even be above 90." Great news twerp, it is way above yours, so you are not fit to comment on my intellect, unless you have proven your IQ, via a qualified test, that it is higher than mine.)

- I'm drowning in a pool of stupids -

p/s: Edwin only said "Don't be scared of offending people, and just write your honest opinions", and obviously not the other sentences after that. He also added that "so long as we are fair in our commentaries and opinions, and we have given the people involved the right to reply, then we shouldn't shy away from writing negative opinion pieces."

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Bangkok pretty much sucked

JUST KIDDING! Bangkok rules BIG TIME!!! Almost everything is fabulous here *cough compared to previous holiday cough*!

The people are very friendly and nice (I credit that to almost everyone being a devoted buddhist), the guys not lecherous (only the farangs are, but they are only lecherous for the Thai girls) and even the weather is cool (light rain occasionally)!

ME LOVE BANGKOK A LOT!!

The only thing which sucks is the internet - which obviously we can't complain about because computer language is primarily English, and the Thais can't converse well in it. :)

I'm blogging this in the hotel computer - which claims to be broadband but is slower than a chang (Thai for elephant! :D).

As I am blogging, there is a nice computer in-charge behind me, and he is using an electronic thingy to kill mosquitoes! Perfecto! It is so cute; shaped like a badminton racquet, and you sweep it around...

The first time the guy used it, he managed to lightly glaze one mossie and the mosquito fainted on the floor, spasming and twitching. Damn funny. I took out one fake-birkies-clad foot to prepare to vindictively step on it, when the guy stopped me and used his forefinger and thumb to pick it up.

I was feeling a little puzzled as to why he is not killing the disgusting mosquito, when he put his kill into the racquet thingy.

The mosquito went POP POP POP POP POP and emitted bright blue electronic sparks!!!

VERY COOL VERY COOL!

When it finished popping, I tried to look for the mosquito, and it is gone!

"Where is the mosquito?" I asked, amused.

"Oh" he laughes, "Mosquito burn!"

WAHAHAHA

Okok... I only have 2 minutes left to use the computer. To sum things up, it as been real fun here! I've seen the Thai girls show (took one secret picture and almost got my cam confiscated - all for you all you know!), and even saw two elephants walking along patpong!! :D A lot more, but I'll tell my stories when I come back.

More blogging later! I miss the blogging world already...

Right now, I am going back to the room to play bridge with the guys.

TA! :D

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I'm off to Bangkok from 4th (which is today!) till 9th!

Very excited about all the shopping!!

Last time I went to Bangkok was when I was 13 or something, and obviously Momo and daddy didn't allow me to watch the Thai girls show and ah kua show... SIAN!

This time I'm gonna! I heard the girls can open beer bottles with their vaginas!!! *gasp*

And I'm going to take a zillion pictures back for you guys!

If possible, I will try to blog there too, though it might be a short entry. :)

Meanwhile, do continue to leave comments; I think Shuyin will help me moderate when she is free.

Sheesh! I gtg pack now; it's 4pm and Daddy is coming to send me off at 5pm!



Alrighty, you losers can all stay here in boring Singapore - I'm off! Meanwhile, here's a nice game for you to play while you lead a mundane life without me. I am a prodigy! I played till level 16 (in 17 minutes flat) and was too tired to continue. The trick to winning, I will tell you all when I come back!


Advertorial

Look what came in the mail!

Am I one lucky bitch or what?!

The guys from www.yourgifts.com.sg have approached me to ask me to try out their new website's spanking new way of sending gift vouchers. (That means I also got a nice free gift voucher!!)

You know how we often know it's a friend's birthday, but we didn't meet the friend on that day, and his birthday present gets forgotten in time, coz it was inconvenient to meet up with him, blah blah...

Months later, it is your birthday, and he actually bothered to go to your office/home to look for you and pass you your present.

KNN.

Guilt pangs and everything, but hey, you are not to blame right, coz some people are just the sort who will travel the length of Singapore to give a present, and well, you are just the lazier sort?? It doesn't mean you care for him any less or anything like that, of course not...

OR

If you don't know what exactly to get for your friend... THE COOL THING ABOUT YOURGIFTS.COM.SG is that your friend can actually CHOOSE the present he wants with your gift voucher!! Now normal gift vouchers certainly don't do that. :)

OR

If you are overseas, and would like to give a present to someone in Singapore but shipping fees are so not worth it...

Yourgifts.com.sg will be quite a dream site for you!!!

The good thing about this brilliant system, is also that the value you received can be accumulated. For example, if you have 10 cheapo friends, all you have to do is to gently nudge them in the gut and suggest they all dump $10 into your yourgifts.com.sg account. VOILA! $100 to spend now! :D

Mechanics are simple: To send a gift voucher, you sign up, purchase a voucher, and send it to your giftee's email!

To retrieve, sign up if you don't already have an account, choose your favourite store out of the many, many stores they have, and soon enough, the gift voucher will be sent to your address!! From virtual wealth to real-life money! COOLNESS!

Their brands include 77 street, Miss Sixty, Pretty Fit, cafes, restaurants, lingerie, a lot more!!!

Of course, I've gotten MY gift voucher today, and look, you can even type a personal message in it!

So, moving on. You guys can go have a look if you want to send a gift! To me! I won't mind.... Hiyah you know lar, being blogger very tiring one you know... My email hor... xiaxue@gmail.com. :D

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