Vote for me!!!
Thanks to whoever nominated me, and thanks to the 184 people who voted even before I knew I got nominated! *hugs*
Here's your incentive for voting... I give you picture of June's boobies! Beats Mr Brown's $150 million monopoly money! haha!
Really!
On a totally irrelevant note, Shuyin cut her hair:
Sara Ann invited me to an angel themed party! Of course, that got Shuyin, Junne and I very excited coz we have the opportunity to dress up! MUAHAHAHA!
Photos photos! Taken at new club, The Loof.
We dragged the boys along. :) Anyway, this entry's gonna be short coz I have a meeting at 11am tomorrow, which means I have to wake up early!
Sorry for the lack in posts, I read a comment the other day, and it went something like, "Xiaxue you know that you'll need to do an excellent job on the script right? Or people will be really pissed at you for making them wait so long."
Upon reading that my orifices started to vomit and I spasmed non-stop for 10 minutes. When Momo found me, I was curled up into a little ball on the floor, convulsing with terror.
I recovered, but whenever I wanted to write the script I started to get weird hallucinations again. Just the other day, I hallucinated that I was at my kitchen, holding the biggest chopper, and was about to chop my toes off.
When I was clear-headed again, I realised the biggest of my toes was gone. *gasp* I can't find it anywhere.
If you didn't get it it means that I'm really scared of writing the script now and it has affected my writing so much that I really don't wanna write it anymore. Sigh. But I will. Later.
Because of the procrasination of the script, the rest of the blog entries are piling up like nobody's business. My photos have bypassed hundreds to become thousands now, and it is freaking me out!
On the other hand, I've also been very busy... With what, you ask with indignance! You are a freaking bummer!
Hiyah, a lot of things lar, I reply evasively. Hee hee
A few updates: A Newpaper reporter called me the day before... I kinda forgot his name, quite a nice chap he was... Called Hollister or something.
I know male reporters can rarely be called Hollister, but it was a name starting with H and with three or four syllabus, so if you come up with something better I urge you to bring it forward.
So Hollister called me, while I was still sleeping at Janice's place after mahjong...
Hollister informed me, with the tone of a death announcement, that I was nominated "Turn-off of the year" for Newpaper's yearly Flame (pun? LOL) Awards.
I wonder if this had to do with the vehement Jean Marie post (taken down since because Newpaper asked me to, saying it was "baseless and untrue" - but hey, you judge whether you believe me or them, yeah?)...
I also wonder, why doesn't Newpaper simply put the editor of Today to be nominated too? That, and TT Durai as well. LOL! It's a great way to discredit people. :)
Anyway, I was superbly gleeful when notified that I am, if I win the others, the "Turn-off" of the year.
As I told Hollister,
It is so much better to be loved, and conversely hated, than to live a life so non-descript and mediocre that people are simply indifferent to you.
June is back from Perth! Yay! :D
So anyway, before I commence on my writing the damn script (I've been procrastinating because I decided to read the book again before I embark on the task :D), I wanna complain!
That day, the whole group of us when to Mambo together. Actually, Birdy and I wanted to bring Junne (she added an N to her name in the hope of sounding a little more unique) to Mambo to reexperience Singapore, but Kelvin and the boys were going too, so we all went together.
Speaking of which, I got bounced out of members A-Fucking-Gain, for the 2nd time. I cannot take it!!!!!!
Bloody elitist BASTARDS (I'm elitist too, which is precisely why nobody should be elitist against me)!
I mean, obviously they cannot bounce me coz I'm a member, but they just refused to let Shuyin and Junne both go in, coz *roll eyes* one member can only bring one person in.
I don't see what's the muthafucking problem. Is Shuyin chio? Yes. Is Junne pretty? Yes. So? Isn't the whole POINT of members to have supposedly cool people inside, mingling with each other and making everyone's life more meaningful?
The whole theory about making a part of a club elitist is simple:
Allow in hot chicks. Hot chick get guys, and more guys want to come in. Among big group of men, pick out rich ones. Rich ones buy expensive alcohol = club earns big money. Club uses money to improve on DJs = more famous. More famous = more hot chicks. More hot chicks = more men come. Men= spend money. And so on and so forth.
Simple? I thought so too.
Who chooses the bloody bouncer ANYWAY? Eileen (Wee) and I were talking about this bouncing thing the other day, and we both came to the conclusion that most bouncers in Singapore have no idea the who's whos are.
She (Eileen) brought two friends with her some time ago, one of which is some big shot director in Hongkong and the other, a HK actor.
The bouncer doesn't know who they are, and well, he is not to be blamed, for he is Malay (and Malays don't watch HK TV I presume). He refused them entry into the VIP area (not Zouk, another club), opening his arms spread-eagle and rudely proclaiming they cannot go in.
Eileen tried to whisper to him who they are and the necessity of getting them inside, because obviously such people would prefer a little more privacy... But the bouncer refused to listen. Doesn't the words "actor", "director" and "rich" mean anything to him??!
In the end they went to another club I think, and splashed a great deal of money there. WTF.
Who's fault? The ignorant bouncer's.
The sad dilemma about such things, is that you cannot possibly open your mouth and tell the bouncer who you are. He is just supposed to know.
Back to the point. So whenever I get bounced, I will just walk inside, and get a friend inside to bring my friends in.
The bouncer will make a grimacing face, and grudgingly step aside to allow a more influential customer to bring my friends in, while I stand at their sides, trying to bore holes into his face by vicious staring.
It is awkward and embarrassing for everyone, so why not just let my friends in next time, asswipe?
Annoying.
*mumbles indistinctly about Ministry of Sound*
So yes.
Later on, Kelvin got a table near the dancefloor, so the 3 of us girls just sat down, swaying a little to the music.
Presently enough, this group of boys started to dance near to us. Typical boys, wearing striped/flowery shirts and that sort, and they weren't ugly (or so I can see in the dim light).
The one nearest to me was wearing a black Le Coq Sportif jacket, and he was possibly the best looker of the lot. :)
After a while, he smiled at me and asked, "You girls are not dancing! It is not because we are occupying your space, right?"
Or something to that effect lar.
I smiled and replied the truth, which was that we were "guarding the table", because Kel and Vyasa went out for some fresh air.
I cannot really remember what happened, but Mr Le Coq asked my name and told me his in return, and I guarantee that I was perfectly friendly.
He even put their group's drink on our table, and said that the empty table needed some drinks on it, and also offered Junne, Shuyin and I a bit of the alcohol. We shook our heads.
Time moved on and nothing further happened with Le Coq, and Kelvin and Vyasa seemed to have vanished into Zathura, so we girls decided to forgo the table and dance with the rest of our friends.
Maybe he thinks you are very kiasu coz you wanna guard the table, and nobody likes a kiasu girl;
Maybe he decided you are too short (because sitting down cannot see height);
(courtesy of Junne, to my fury) Maybe your dancing sucks;
Maybe he felt that he couldn't get you so he moved on (disagree: I was perfectly friendly);
Maybe he was talking to you to get to know Junne in the first place (KNNBCCB);
(Shuyin:) Maybe because he saw you dancing with Martin (oops)...
Helping Clinton choose his secondary school:
Me: "Ok, how about Fairfield? It's quite big I think... And it's a Christian school..."
*looks at my little brother*
"And you are a Christian right?"
Brother: "EEeeeeeee! Don't want."
Me: "Why don't want?! YOU SIAO AH! I thought you Christian?!"
Brother, indignant face, rolls eyes: "No..."
After discovering that Thailand does rhinoplasty for a freaking $300, I've been discussing what kinda nose I should get for myself.
Wahhaha machiam casual shopping... Button? Flared? BULBOUS? whahaha
Shuyin, June and I were singing KTV that day, and SY sang some Feng Fei Fei song called "Zhang sen xiang qi lai" or something... The MTV lady, some model, had a nice ying gou bi! (hooked nose)
I was mumbling to myself, "Maybe I should get an ying gou bi ah??"
And to my surprise June and Shuyin both said, "Yeah, nice!"
WHAHAHAHA
Of course, I'm only talking cock about getting my nose done lar, coz I doubt I have the courage to do it. But it is still fun to talk about! Ahem, so anyway...
Just now Shuyin and I were talking on MSN and I was reminded of the MTV model, so I told Shuyin I'm gonna try to photoshop a hooked nose on myself and see what happens!
I was amusing myself, moderating the comments... People are so weird! They like to say things like "You go direct the movie yourself lar, see if you can do better!" when you happen to say a movie they like, well, sucks.
And because I myself cannot direct any better, I have no rights to say a movie sucks.
Why, of course. That makes a hell lot of sense.
:)
Happens all the time... If a fat chick dares to as much as comment that another fat chick is fat, I expect an angry mob will materialise out of nowhere and shout in perfect unison: "YOU THINK YOU VERY SKINNY MEH? SAY PEOPLE SAY YOURSELF HOR!"
And they will proceed to cobble both fat chicks to death or something, because hey, that's what an angry mob does.
(Oh btw as I am writing this I am bleaching my eyebrows and I feel quite jittery about how it will turn out)
So anyway, as I was saying, is it thus true that you can only criticise others when you yourself is any better?
Going by this theory, only past pageant winners can judge current pageants, coz only they are pretty enough to say who is pretty and who is not? Then may I ask, who is going to judge the first ever pageant?
Is a fat chick any less capable of judging whether another fat chick is fat? So, she is fat. Obscures her vision now, does it? (we are not talking about really fat until the fats droop the eyebrows down)
I thought "it takes one to know one"? Then she will be the best judge of who is fat, won't she?
Being fat automatically removes her rights to say another girl is fat?
No what... So yes, I win. I can say GOF sucks if I want to, because I was a paying consumer! Even if I didnt pay, I can still say it sucks. Hell, even if I didn't watch it, I can still say it sucks if I want to! :D It's my mouth.
But since the angry mob dictates that I direct a GOF better than Mike Newell did, I SHALL! SEE, I'M SO NICE.
And since majority of people seem to have no problems with changing Rowling's storyline COMPLETELY, I'm gonna as well. It seems like most people liked the show coz of "fantastic graphics" or "Tom Felton is hot", or "Beauxbaton girls are hot" (which btw, Beauxbaton is NOT an all-girls school, nor are the girls there all veelas, IDIOTS!). Or similar bollocks.
In that case, allow me to add and minus characters, and I know the audience will forgive me, because, erm, it is difficult to make a 700 page story into one blog entry you know?!
What a convenient excuse, and I love it!
How difficult is it to produce a classic Hollywood show everyone loves? Easy peasy, I say. And this time, I can use Jay Chou as Krum if I want to, and he shall mumble.
INTRODUCING...
Though increasingly sissy-looking, I, as mighty director, have decided to maintain Daniel as Harry because I am lazy.Character: A great flyer, though moody at times. Like his Asian chicks.
Many people have been asking stupid questions like, "How are you gonna make Hermione's teeth big"? Like flies! These questions are like pesky flies to me! *makes irritated hand motion*Character: Extremely smart witch, though quite ugly, and is from Muggle parentage. Is Harry's good friend and also a long-lost twin sister of Winky. Oops, spoiler.
Decided to have more brits in the show. Ron's a sidekick and nobody bothers about the sidekick, seriously. Since he is a nobody, he might as well be a handsome nobody. Vase you know, vase.Character: Harry's best friend. Poor pure-blood wizard, which, ironically, thinks Muggle football is extremely silly.
Yes, I know David Beckham is already used as Ron, but who cares? One will have red hair and the other brown, so we can easily differentiate them, thank you very much.Character: Evil, but handsome, dark lord who wants to cleanse the Wizarding community of mud-bloods. In an ironic twist, falls in love with Hermione, the epitome of mud-bloods.
Character: Wise headmaster of Hogwarts. Gentle, benign, and very old indeed!
However, I've decided to add some fizz into the show and make him gay (pokee, not poker), since he is gay in book five anyway. This explains the purple robes with stars.
Character: Potions master in Hogwarts. Hates Harry with a vengence.
Character: Head of Gryffindor house in Hogwarts. Likes Ron (duh, who doesn't?!).
Character: Pretty Ravenclaw seeker, and Harry's secret love. Likes Ron/Lord Voldemort. Or Cedric diggory, depending on who she chooses to act as him later on as she writes this.
Character: Arch-enemy of Harry, who attempts to trottle Harry to death with a Devil's Snare whenever possible. Possibly likes Snape, but unsure of his sexuality. In frustration, forces himself to like Neville Longbottom instead.
Character: Handsome seeker of Hufflepuff, with brains not enough to fill an eggcup. Also realise that the phrase "not enough to fill an eggcup" seems to make us think his brain is the size of an egg, but hck! "NOT ENOUGH TO FILL AN EGGCUP" means his brains are not even HALF an egg's size! (coz eggcups are usually half-egg sized, and any more brains, it will overflow).
Adores Cho Chang and has hot steamy sex with her in the prefect's bathroom. Oh, and fellow triwizard Hogwarts champion.
Character: Snotty Beauxbatons champion. Ron likes her. Has an absurd adoration for micro bikinis.
Krum is described as being sullen and moody, and Jay is perfect. I know, we have the slight problem that Jay is not Bulgarian...Character: Drumstrang champion, who is also a world-famous Quidditch player. Likes Hermione, and in an ironic twist, also discovers that he kinda likes Voldemort, resulting in a complicated love triangle for all. Likes to sing in his free time, and gets angry when people call him Viktor the Singer instead of Viktor the Seeker.
Character: Terrible reporter of Wizarding newspaper Daily Prophet who twists anyone's words to get a story out. Has gold fillings in teeth. Is an animagus.
Character: A ghost who lives in the u-bend, literally killed for being a loser. Helps Harry in the hope she gets a friend, but of course Harry thinks she is really ugly, silver pimples and all. Not to mention her voice is disgusting.
Character: Dumbledore's pet phoenix. Smells a little when Dumbledore is a bit too busy to change the shavings.
Character: House-elf to the Crouch family, and a representative of those oppressed by totalitarism. If this were 1984, she will be Parsons. But this is 2005, and she represents one of the many tight-arsed people reading this blog. Surprisingly enough, she is Hermione's long lost twin sister.
Character: Disgusting ministry bitch who makes our protagonist's life very difficult. Not supposed to appear until book 5, Umbridge makes a surprising appearance as she confiscated Hermione's time-turner and turned it a little too much. She and Rita forges an unlikely friendship and added each other on friendster and MSN too.
Character: Squat, self-centered and judgemental, Potions Master in book six Horace Slughorn is one of my favourite characters ever created in my book-reading history, because he is so distinct, and yet uniquely so.
Unlike other usual characters epitomized by goodness, evilness, looks, skills, or intellect, Horace is characterized by elitism. A character who only mingles with the powerful, Horace does not crave fame for himself, but hopes to gain bits from everyone by helping the esteemed achieve more in life.
And you better stop hating him when he doesn't allow you in the Slug Club and start hating yourself instead, because he is usually right in his judgements.
Slughorn's only supposed to appear in book six, but who cares, I'm putting him in! It's either Lockhart or him, and I prefer him. :)
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